[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:fiction]]
->Playing CardGames is JustLikeMakingLove. You usually do it on a table, and you always feel deep shame when it's finished. Also, the older you get, the less fun it is. So remember, [[SpoofAesop always wear a condom when playing card games.]]
-->--'''Grandpa''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

->'''Frans Rayner:''' AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! Haha...ha...ha. Why are you looking at me like that?
->'''Gordito:''' You killed a bunch of ninjas in the 80s, so now you've made a bunch more to kill. Your maniacal laughing is like a fat man who's just restocked his freezer with hot pockets.
->'''Frans Rayner:''' Ooh...no no. I'm laughing like a fat man who is nearing the final steps of his lifelong journey to power. And he's actually in really good shape and not fat at all.
-->-- ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''

->'''Ronove''': Doing boxing with just your arms makes you but half a man. Arms are like the hot roar of a lion. And legs are like the cold snake closing in on its prey.
->'''Jessica''': Snakes don't have legs!
->'''Ronove''': Pu ku ku, true.
-->-- ''UminekoNoNakuKoroNi: Alliance of the Golden Witch''

->We are [[JustLikeRobinHood like Robin Hood]]. We steal from the club and we give to ourselves.
-->-- '''Andy Dwyer''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''

->It's like {{Russian Roulette}}. Except nobody's dying, and [[MaximumFunChamber everyone gets egg rolls]]. So actually, it's like a pizza party. Except no one gets pizza, and everyone gets egg rolls.
-->-- '''Harley''', ''WebOriginal/EpicMealTime''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:real life]]
->Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is long division.
-->--'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee Croshaw]]'''

->You can't just say a thing is just like another thing but without the traits that define that thing. Then you're not talking about that thing. 'This thing is amazing! It's like a bicycle but without wheels or handle bars!', and you're like 'Yeah, it's a fucking chair!'
-->-- '''Jon Stewart''', ''Series/TheDailyShow''

->'''Jerry Van Dyke:''' Mom, you're a car? I didn't think that things like this were possible!
->'''Mom:''' I understand there's a baseball team called the Mets. If that's possible, anything's possible.
->'''Mechanic:''' You call that a joke? I don't care if this thing is your mom, fuck you both. ''(is electrocuted)'' AIIIIEEEE!!
->'''Mom:''' [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: you shall die here!! ]]

->'''Jerry:''' Cut! Lock down the set! It's happening again!
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-worst-tv-decisions-ever-made-by-tv-executives-twice/#ixzz33RzkX1FG on]] ''Series/MyMotherTheCar''

->In my own little way, I understood Music/MichaelJackson. If I use my credit card, they go 'Oh my gosh, there's Lisa Frank who makes the stickers!'
-->-- [[SmallNameBigEgo Stationery magnate]] '''Lisa Frank'''

->Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he's not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.
-->-- '''Bill O'Reilly''', ''TheOReillyFactor For Kids''

->I mean, I donít know if itís just me, but it looks just like anything youíd see {{Music/Madonna}} or Music/BritneySpears do onstage--heh, yeah, get an NEA grant for something like this!
-->--'''Radio/RushLimbaugh''' on the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal

->Religion, they believe, is a personal matter; if it must be given external manifestation, that should not occur in public places where others may be offended. I can understand that attitude: It parallels my own toward [[GrumpyOldMan the playing in public of rock music]] or [[Music/IgorStravinsky Stravinsky]].
-->--U.S. Supreme Court Justice '''Antonin Scalia''', ''Elmbrook School District v. John Doe'', dissenting opinion

->I pointed out, well, once you make it 10, then why would you draw the line at 10? What's wrong with nine? Or 11? And the problem is once you draw that limit -- it's kind of like marriage when you say it's not a man and a woman anymore, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a [[ChewbaccaDefense love for an animal?]]
-->--'''Rep. Louis Gohmert''' (R-TX) speaking on gun magazine control

->[[LooksLikeSheIsEnjoyingIt Rape is simply sex]]. Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal. To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting that [[{{Unishment}} force-feeding a woman chocolate cake]] is a heinous offence. A woman would be more inconvenienced by having her handbag snatched.
-->--'''Nick Erikse''', London Assembly election candidate (BNP)

->I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out. He said, 'I just want to be known as a football player. I don't want to be known as a gay football player.' I know exactly what he's saying. I'm fighting to get my name back.
-->--Political exile '''[[RacistGrandma Paula Deen]]'''

->A few years ago, some people tried to destroy my family. They attacked my father's reputation, they attacked my mother's reputation, and they attacked the World Wrestling Federation. They tried to rip us apart -- but all they did was make my family stronger. And that's exactly how America feels right now. Because on Tuesday, America was attacked. Because America is a united nation. And together, we stand strong. I am incredibly proud to be an American citizen, and I will stand up for my rights and my freedom.
-->--'''StephanieMcMahon''' draws a comparison between her family's legal troubles and the September 11th terror attacks

->Was it true? Had Lex traded in the red, white, and blue for [=DiBiase=]ís green? No, said Luger. Tatanka insisted Luger was lying, while Lex embarked on a lousy PR campaign...
->The purpose of this dud of an angle? Vince had to ham-fistedly prove a point about [[RealLifeWritesThePlot his steroid trial that summer.]] See, just because someone was accused of wrongdoing didnít mean he wasnít '''totally 100% innocent'''. If Wrestling/LexLuger could be framed, so could Wrestling/VinceMcMahon! And I guess that meant [[DrFeelgood Dr. Zahorian]] was like Wrestling/TedDiBiase? And that it was the federal prosecutor who was actually distributing the steroids, not Vince? Okay, I guess the parallels ended there. In other words, this angle was the second-most insulting analogy for the [=McMahon=] steroid trial in history. But youíve got to admire [=McMahonís=] chutzpah for using Lex Luger [[CanonSue as a symbol of his innocence]] on steroid charges.
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/lexsellsout/ "Lex Luger, Million Dollar Sellout?"]]

->[[Creator/KimKardashian Kim Kartrashian]] reached to new heights of 'BITCH PLEASE' at the Re/Code Code/Mobile conference when she said that {{reality TV}} deserves more respect, because she works hard and her krap show has more episodes than ''Series/ILoveLucy''. Thatís a good komparison, because itís well known that Lucy, a legendary comedian, got ''I Love Lucy'' after the [[PretenderDiss F-list brother of a singer peed on her in a sex tape]]"''
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/10/29/night-crumbs-220/ Michael K.]]'''

->''VideoGame/SuperMario64'' is the ''Film/CitizenKane'' of gaming, in that they're both based on the life of William Randolph Hearst.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-games-invented-inside-other-video-games/ "6 Video Games Invented Inside of Other Video Games"]]

->'''Jay:''' Rich, can you just think about the fact that you compared ''[[UltraSuperDeathGorefestChainsawer3000 Killing American Style]]'' to ''TheLastTemptationOfChrist''? Just think about that.
->'''Rich:''' I'm so ashamed.
-->--''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' episode 20

->'Uh, Lana, I saw Lex torture a guy. He killed you in an alternate reality. He's working with a guy who tried to kill me... He tortured Cyborg. He's generally dag nasty evil. Clear as purple crayon. And you believed that [[AesopAmnesia until last week.]]'
->Actually, the dialogue, verbatim, is this:
->'''Clark:''' "You can't trust Lex." A given now that Lana herself has stated many times.
->'''Lana:''' "And I can trust '''[[NoYou YOU?]]'''"
->This is Lana (and by proxy the writer) equivocating Clark and Lex, intimating that because Clark didn't tell Lana his secret, he's just as bad a guy as Lex is. Lex, [[LongList who lies, tortures, kills, creates genetic diseases, shoots up hospitals...]]
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Fade")

->''[=BuzzFeed=]'' has been around for a while, but they reached a new low in 2013 with 'The Story Of Egypt's Revolution In ''JurassicPark'' Gifs.' Not only was this 'article' an insulting, condescending simplification of a country's painful struggle for human rights, it made absolutely no fucking sense. The only thing [=BuzzFeed=] and the Egyptian political crisis have in common is that [[TakeThat they both involve crimes against humanity]] -- in Egypt unarmed protestors have been shot, while at ''[=BuzzFeed=]'' someone wrote 'They found a democracy DNA strand frozen in amber' and [[KarmaHoudini was given money instead of a pink slip]]. If you don't see the problem, imagine how people would react if a Middle Eastern website ran 'The Story of 9/11 In ''{{Disney/Aladdin}}'' Clips.'
-->--'''''Blog/ToplessRobot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/01/8_low_points_for_nerds_in_2013.php?page=2 "2013's 8 Worst Moments in Nerdery"]]
[[/folder]]
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