->''"I'm sick and tired of making excuses for you two! You’re an embarrassment to the department! You're off the case and off the force. Your badges, your windbreakers, now. Now! I ain't got all day! Agitating my sciatica. I'm too old for this! Now get out of my sight. Thought you were badasses, huh? Real badasses work together. All I see is a housewife and a girl scout. I said, get out! And don’t even think about getting near this case, uh-uh!"''
-->-- '''Abed Nadir''', ''Series/{{Community}}''

->''"Short! Get in here!"''
-->-- '''Julius Root''' to [[CowboyCop Holly Short]] from his office, ''Literature/ArtemisFowl''

->And further, the Captain of Constables is invariably a Hindoo, who is most distressed by many of the necessary actions of the most capable of his Constables.
-->-- ''TabletopGame/GURPSInfiniteWorldsBritannica6''

->''I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up - 'Good morning, Marcus.' 'Good morning, Mike.' 'How you doin'?' 'A'ight.' 'So, how are we going to fuck up the captain's life today?' 'Gee, I don't know, I don't know... Ooh, look! Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street!'''
-->--'''Capt. Howard''', ''Film/BadBoys2''

->''"You screwed up good, Ramsay. We got two dead officers, do you understand me mister? Two. Dead. Cops! We got two wounded - one of them your own partner - and we got two dead guinea punks! And no one knows why or what the HELL its all about!"''
-->--'''Chief of Police''', ''Film/{{Runaway}}''

->''"Abandoning your post, inciting a scurry, reckless endangerment of rodents! But, to be fair, you did stop a master criminal from stealing two dozen moldy onions."''
-->--'''Chief Bogo''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Zootopia}}''

->'''Captain Healy''': Dammit, Spartan. I'm sick and tired of this "Demolition Man" shit! You're not supposed to come down here, you're not supposed to apprehend Simon Phoenix single-handedly, and you're not supposed to blow anything up!\\
'''John Spartan''': It wasn't me this time, he dumped the gas and had the placed rigged to blow.\\
'''Healy''': Yeah right, and you had nothing to do with it. I know you've been trying to nail this psycho for 2 years. But try to remember a little thing like official police procedure. Now where are the hostages?
-->--''Film/DemolitionMan''

->''"As police officers, we hold to a higher standard to what we deal with. You're out of the jungle, Traxx! This is civilization, or can't you tell the difference?"''
-->--'''Commissioner R.B. Davis''' to '''Traxx''', ''Film/{{Traxx}}''

-> ''"I know what you're thinking, "Angry Black Captain." It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well, guess what, motherf*ckers. I'm black. And I worked my ass off to be the captain! And sometimes I get angry. So suck a d*ck!"''
-->-- [[Music/IceCube Captain Sassy,]] ''Film/TwentyOneJumpStreet''

-> ''"JONES ! IN MY OFFICE !!
-->--'''The Chief of white-blood cell cops''', ''Film/OsmosisJones''

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