[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]

->I used to produce movies. In the 80s. Kind of like action films, sexy stuff. One critic called them '[[MistakenForProfound European.]]' I thought they were ''shit''.
-->--'''Bernie Rose''', ''{{Film/Drive}}''



->''The Cabalists who celebrated this mysterium,\\
This vast creature, named it {{Golem}}.\\
Perhaps there was an error in the word\\
Or in the articulation of the Sacred Name;\\
In spite of the highest esoteric arts\\
This apprentice of man did not learn to speak.''\\\
''The rabbi watched it tenderly but\\
With some horror. How (he said)\\
Could I engender this laborious son?\\
Better to have done nothing, this is insanity."''
-->--'''Creator/JorgeLuisBorges''', '[[http://blog.jamzik.com/2006/11/borges-golem.html The Golem]]Ė 1958



->''If you could ever find it in your hearts,\\
if you could ever think to find some sympathy,\\
never ask us to play this song,\\
or that song about our pants, or our kitty doggy.\\
Never ask us to play 'Godzilla' or 'Shut Up'\\
or that song we haven't written yet about that time we did some stuff''
-->-- '''Music/FiveIronFrenzy''', "Never Ask Us to Play This"


[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]

->'''Binky the Clown:''' Heeeey, kids! Wanna see Binky do a magic trick? Well, forget it! I'm not spending another minute in this stupid clown suit! I am an actor! But, noooo... Too short, they said!\\
'''Garfield:''' Third time this week. [[CreatorBreakdown He's lost it.]]
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}''


[[folder:Web Original]]

->I'd like to take a look back at the different segments that came together to make this [[WorstWhateverEver one of history's worst anythings ever]]... The first is Actor Indifference. Nearly all of principle actors from the film are here, and none of them are good enough at their job to hide how much they hate that fact. Creator/HarrisonFord in particular will read the lines but you can kiss his ass if you think he's going to ''try''. If Music/KanyeWest's agent booked him on ''{{Hee Haw}}'', he'd perform with more enthusiasm. And for this reason, each segment's Actor Indifference will be measured in Angry Han Solo Heads. The more you see, the less people cared.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "The 7 Most Baffling Moments in ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''"

->As the car soars through the air in slow motion, thereís an insert shot of Creator/BillCosby in the driverís seat. Cosby, I should note, is [[DullSurprise looking very bored.]] Get used to this. In fact, most of this movie could be summarized as 'Cut to Bill Cosby, looking bored.' Iíd say he was phoning it in, [[InsultToRocks but thatís something of an overstatement.]] Itís more like heís smoke-signaling it in.
-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Leonard_Part_6_1987.aspx on]] ''Film/LeonardPart6''

->''Striking Distance'' is a by the numbers cop thriller done so many times by [[Creator/BruceWillis (Bruce) Willis]] it is [[ClicheStorm almost a genre in itself]]. Willis actually went on record apologizing for this movie sucking but really its not that bad. It is more a generic thriller you stumble on one boring night and you watch instead of the paid programming for that giggling dumbbell that looks like you are jerking off. If anything, Bruce should apologize for ''{{Film/North}}''.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/06/16/striking-distance-1993-rowdy-herrington/ on]] ''Striking Distance'' (1993)

->There's a line even [Joel] Schumacher won't cross, and that line is defending the existence of ''Batman & Robin''. Schumacher spends the entire commentary track by himself repeatedly and earnestly apologizing for what he did. No stars to get in the way. No producers. Just an hour and a half of Schumacher pretty much going "God, I am so sorry -- I just ... [[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime nipples? What the fuck was I thinking?]] Send me your address. I will pay you your money back." There are very few clever anecdotes, precisely zero joyful reminisces -- just a few feeble defenses that quickly give way to shameful apologizing... Take note: Moments of self-awareness like this are rare in Hollywood, and they exist only briefly, like mayflies, before being utterly obliterated by [[HookersAndBlow a mountain of cocaine.]]
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20769_5-hilariously-awkward-meltdowns-hidden-dvd-commentaries.html#ixzz2r5nkDndY "5 Hilariously Awkward Meltdowns Hidden in DVD Commentaries"]]

->If you need proof that we seldom get to define our own legacies, just look at the Google rankings... The Bob Hoskins movie [[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit we all probably rate the highest]] takes third place to [[Film/SuperMarioBros a video game adaptation]] he hated, and [[{{Film/Hook}} a Peter Pan sequel]] most audiences did. Also his turn as Odin in ''Film/SonOfTheMask''. Really?
-->--'''''Blog/ToplessRobot''''' [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/04/bye_bye_bob_hoskins_has_left_us.php#more eulogizes]] Creator/BobHoskins

->Among the filmís many problems was the fact that Adrian Paul wanted nothing to do with it. He hated the way ''Endgame'' had turned out and refused to go back to [[FranchiseZombie the dead horse]] that was ''Highlander''. So the producers went back to Creator/ChristopherLambert, hoping to bring him back into the series somehow despite the fact that they had [[BackForTheDead killed off his character in the last film in order to make it easier to go forward using Adrian Paul]] instead. Lambert refused or, based on how his negotiations with the TV series went, probably just asked for way too much money, knowing his demands wouldnít get met. So the producers had to go crawling back to Adrian Paul, because they desperately wanted one of the iconic [=MacLeods=] in the film. In order to bring Paul onboard, they gave him an executive producer credit... Adrian Paul would later go on record prior to the filmís release and say that ''The Source'' [[{{Understatement}} missed the mark]]. Thatís insanely rare for a lead actor to do in promoting his own movie. It is really that bad.
-->--'''''[[http://www.screamsheet.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/highlander-the-source-part-one/ The Screamsheet]]''''' on ''Film/HighlanderTheSource''

->Itís as if thirty seconds before that picture was taken, Jamie Dornanís assistant told him that his puppy was murdered, Creator/BettyWhite is in jail for doing it, ''Series/OrangeIsTheNewBlack'' was canceled, a reboot of ''{{Film/Showgirls}}'' [[YoungerAndHipper starring Ariana Grande and Meghan Trainor]] was announced, Andy Capp Hot Fries filed for bankruptcy and he found out that he just lost a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Advertising/{{Geico}}. Itís like he got the worst news ever all at once and then had to pose with her.\\\
This was probably the exact moment when he realized that every magazine will call him ď''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' star Jamie DornanĒ for the rest of his life!
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/29/open-post-hosted-by-jamie-dornans-why-me-face-on-glamour/ Michael K.]]''', "Jamie Dornan's 'Why Me?' Face On ''Glamour''"

->You can almost hear the cartoonish screech of tires as Trank peels out.
-->--'''[[http://www.hitfix.com/harpy/fantastic-four-director-swears-hes-not-responsible-for-fantastic-four-movie#GuzEDTDOi7F5hrHo.99 Donna Dickens]]''', Director Josh Trank Swears He's Not Responsible For ''[[Film/FantasticFour2015 Fantastic Four]]''"

->It's difficult to find fault with [[Creator/RogerMoore (Roger) Moore personally]] (he can be so charming and amusing), but it's also difficult to not notice his self-observant standoffishness; his bemused contempt for the part. That kind of attitude is deadly for television... (he eventually got that way with ''Series/TheSaint'' and Bond, too, for that matter). It's pretty clear with this first episode that he's not suited for either the role, or weekly TV.
-->--'''[[http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/63830/maverick-the-complete-fourth-season-warner-archive-collection/ Paul Mavis]]''' on ''{{Series/Maverick}}''

->Look at how bored [Robert] Beltran sounds in the first scene spinning out [[{{Technobabble}} the same sort of nonsense]] as usual. This is a man who has just come back from a ''Trek'' convention and has slagged off the show for [[LesserStar not giving him anything to do]] in an age. And who can blame him? He might not be the world's greatest actor but this is exactly the kind of repetitive monotony that can drive the weakest of performers to speak out.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/voyager-season-six.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "[[{{Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS6E20GoodShepherd}} Good Shepherd]]"

->It's hardly a 'hidden' reason considering how vocal Kojima was about it, but [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots Old Snake]] is a reflection of Creator/HideoKojima himself. He's apathetic because Kojima is apathetic; he's tired because Kojima is tired; he gave up on his philosophical idealism because Kojima gave up on his philosophical idealism (in regards to the ''Franchise/MetalGear'' series at least). Every major characteristic of Old Snake can be traced back to Kojima's own feelings about the series and his fans. The fact that Snake wants to get it all over with so he can die in peace is exactly parallel to Kojima's desire to end the series so he can move on without restrictions... I can't help thinking this is why he allowed a total Westernization of the controls as well; [[FollowTheLeader just blend in and hope for the best.]]
-->--'''''[[http://www.metagearsolid.org/reports_mgs4_soldout_3.html "Metal Gear Soldout"]]


[[folder:Web Video]]

->'''Gabriel:''' Creator/PeterMolyneux has become self-aware.\\
'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]:''' Ah yes, a recent quote from Peter Molyneux in which he described ''VideoGame/FableIII'' -- exact word -- a "trainwreck."\\
'''Gabriel:''' Alright, so here's the problem: He's become self-aware, but he's just going hyperbolically [[WeWantOurJerkBack in the other direction]].
-->--''LetsPlay/LetsDrownOut'' ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TydBiQaXm8g Ghostbusters]]'' (Megadrive)

->The thing about fan [[DVDCommentary commentary]] is that itís pretty-much always going to be [[GushingAboutShowsYouLike cheerleading]], 'cause thatís what defines a fan, whereas the developer ten years down the line might have some interesting self-criticism with the benefit of hindsight. 99% of creators claim to loathe everything they made more than five years ago, and the remaining 1% are liars.
-->-- '''Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', "VideoGame/HalfLife2 Update - Gravity Gun vs Modern [[FirstPersonShooter FPS]]"

->Once I looked the whole thing through, I just thought 'Oh, man. It's exactly what I thought it was gonna be, but I'm glad no one's ever gonna see it!' Because I thought [[TemptingFate he was never gonna be able to sell this to anybody]]... 'I'm paroled now. That's in the past, and I'm moving on.'
-->--'''Mark Hannon''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMsWmsR8Smk on]] ''Film/SamuraiCop.''


[[folder:Real Life]]

->Surely I've written better things.
-->--'''Music/LudwigVanBeethoven''' on "Moonlight Sonata"

->I shrivel up every time someone mentions ''[[Film/StarWarsANewHope Star Wars]]'' to me.

->That wasn't Bond.
-->--'''Creator/RogerMoore''' on ''Film/AViewToAKill''

->If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would [[OrwellianEditor track down every copy of that special and smash it]].
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeLucas''' endorses the ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''.

->There were a lot of '[[JustAStupidAccent voilas]]' and '[[ShrugTake Gallic shrugs]]' with strains of the ''[[StandardSnippet Marseillaise]]'' on the soundtrack... mostly [[ForGreatJustice great stunning cliches]] to demonstrate their overwhelming love of ''La France'' and ''la gloire''. The result was purest chloroform. The picture ran for nearly three hours and at the gala American premiere the principal star in the audience was former vice president UsefulNotes/RichardNixon, the only time I ever felt compassion for him.
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''' on the making of ''Film/IsParisBurning'', ''Point to Point Navigation''

->You know, it's funny how wrong an artist can be about his own work. The one composition of [[Music/PyotrIlyichTchaikovsky Tchaikovsky's]] that he really detested was his '[[Theatre/TheNutcracker Nutcracker Suite]]', which is probably the most popular thing he ever wrote.
-->--'''Deems Taylor''', ''Disney/{{Fantasia}}''[[note]][[{{Irony}} A film which was itself a victim of this trope.]][[/note]]

->When you make a movie like ''{{Film/Ishtar}}'', the audiencesí expectations can be exceeded, but [[BileFascination they canít be disappointed]]. This one disappoints all around... I cannot imagine that anybody who worked on that movie left it feeling that they did their best work. I didnít.
-->--'''Paul Sylbert''', production designer on ''{{Film/Ishtar}}''

->... in terms of that film I was embarrassed. I was ashamed of the work, and I was grateful that I had the power to contain it all, and never let anyone see it. It was bad, bad, bad. It [[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime could have been wonderful]], but I slipped up. I didn't quite get it and I didn't quite have enough sense to find out why I'm doing it and maybe there would be an answer.
-->-- '''Creator/JerryLewis''', when asked if he'd ever release ''Film/TheDayTheClownCried''

->Gene and I were on the [[Series/TheTonightShow Carson show]] once, following Creator/ChevyChase, who had just promoted his Christmas release, ''Film/ThreeAmigos''. We chatted a little, and then Johnny said, 'Roger, what's your ''least'' favorite Christmas picture?' We were looking directly at each other when he said that, and I noticed an almost invisible expression flash across his face. I knew what the answer was, and I believe in that second Johnny did, too. I paused. [='=]''¡Three Amigos!''[='=] I said... After the show, Chevy [[RightBehindMe appeared in the door of my dressing room with a poker face.]] I was at a loss for words. 'I don't think it's so hot either,' he said.

->The less said about ''[[Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace Superman IV]]'', the better.
-->--'''Creator/ChristopherReeve''', ''Still Me''

->I'll tell you the last time I really cried was at the premiere of ''Batman & Robin'' They were real tears because I realized that that might be [[CreatorKiller the end of my career]] and I might have [[FranchiseKiller brought down the franchise along with it.]]
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeClooney''' on ''Film/BatmanAndRobin.''

->A lot of people hated ''Film/{{Alien 3}}'', but no one hated it more than I did.

->... maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we've never seen.
-->-- '''Creator/SylvesterStallone''' on ''Film/StopOrMyMomWillShoot''

->Fuck it. It is what it is. Fucking trees, man. The plants. Fuck it.
-->--'''Creator/MarkWahlberg''' on ''Film/TheHappening''

->Iíve become the butt of many jokes.
-->--'''Creator/EmmaStone''' on playing [[FakeNationality a part-Asian character]] in ''Aloha''

->I am so ashamed of this movie that I have completely left working there off of my resume. On behalf of the many artists that have had the dubious distinction of working on this dumpster fire, I apologize to all of humanity for our part in this.
-->-- '''Vader Hater,''' an anonymous animator who worked on ''WesternAnimation/FoodFight''.

->I didn't want anything to do with [[{{Fanboy}} a group of obsessives]] who paid to get together to talk incessantly about a TV show that had been cancelled. It wasn't logical...
-->--'''Creator/WilliamShatner''', on his reluctance to attend ''Franchise/StarTrek'' conventions

->"I don't get that joke."\\
"I must have nodded off at this part."\\
"Why is [Donna Murphy] hurt [[SpecialEffectsFailure if nothing fell on her]], Johnny?"\\
"I don't remember any of this."\\
"ďThe hummingbird [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything represents them having carnal relations]], right? Ohhh, very clever for a PG film, Johnny.Ē\\
"Why's [Ru'afo] got a sofa on his Bridge?"
-->--'''Marina Sirtis''', ''Film/StarTrekInsurrection'' commentary track w/ Creator/JonathanFrakes

->I wanted to keep the uniform, just so I could burn it!
-->--'''[[http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1zn4rq/iama_robert_beltran_aka_commander_chakotay_from Robert Beltran]]''' on his ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' mementos

->In my opinion the worst ''Doctor Who'' story ever written. (As an author I am entitled to say that!)
-->--'''Eric Saward''' [[http://drwhointerviews.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/eric-saward-1986/ on]] ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E4ResurrectionOfTheDaleks}} "Resurrection of the Daleks"]]

->If you thought you were sick of [[MemeticMutation the memes]], I was sick of it way ahead of you. For instance, cake. I've had enough [[TheCakeIsALie cake jokes]].
-->-- '''Erik Wolpaw''', writer for ''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''

->Congratulations, you've just bought our worst album!
-->-- '''Music/ElvisCostello''', in the liner notes to a reissue of ''Goodbye, Cruel World''.

->There's not enough money in the world to get me singing 'Because We Want To' again.
-->-- '''Creator/BilliePiper'''

->It's VERY clear now that [=@SimonCowell=] was the reason [[Series/AmericanIdol @AmericanIdol]] was a hit. I've watched root canals more entertaining than these judges.
-->--'''Music/ClayAiken''', .1.6.16 [[https://twitter.com/clayaiken/status/684919875953913856 tweet]]

->I don't understand why [my ''{{VideoGame/MUGEN}}'' website] still hasn't died even now. They mock me by denying me access to it (I never figured out why, and I don't really care anymore), and then not getting rid of it even after all these years. Ugh, I wish this relic of my past would fucking die in a fire already...
-->-- '''BB Hood''' ([[VideoGame/{{Darkstalkers}} not that one]]), a ''MUGEN'' creator.

->This cartoon is pretty old. It was the first cartoon we ever made. Homestar is not very funny and neither is Strong Bad. [[CharacterizationMarchesOn They are mere shadows of the men they have become]]. [[MissingEpisode This cartoon has not been on the site for many months]], but we have had several requests (from our Dad) to put it back. So here it is. Consider yourselves warned.
-->--'''''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Marshmallow's Last Stand]]'''''[='s=] "FBI Warning".

->"The second season I'm not even going to mention because that really wasn't the show. The first season was definitely the show."
-->-- '''Creator/JessicaAlba''' during the commentary for the ''Series/DarkAngel'' season one finale.

->[[TroubledProduction A year ago]] I had a fantastic version of this. And it would've received great reviews. [[ExecutiveMeddling You'll probably never see it.]] [[CreatorBreakdown That's reality though.]]
-->-- '''Josh Trank''', shortly before the release of his reboot of ''Film/{{Fantastic Four|2015}}''.

->"[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull We botched Indy.]]"

->"So What" or ''Music/KindOfBlue'', they were done in that era, the right hour, the right day, and it happened. It's over [...]. What I used to play with Music/BillEvans, all those different modes, and substitute chords, we had the energy then and we liked it. But I have no feel for it anymoreóit's more like warmed-over turkey.

->There's a lot of rubbish on ''Satanic Majesties''. Just too much time on our hands, too many drugs, no producer to tell us, "Enough already, thank you very much, now can we just get on with this song?" Anyone let loose in the studio will produce stuff like that. There was simply too much hanging around. It's like believing everything you do is great and not having any editing.
-->--'''Mick Jagger''' of Music/TheRollingStones on ''Their Satanic Majesties Request''

->Anime was a mistake. It's nothing but trash.
-->--[[BeamMeUpScotty Falsely attributed]] to '''Creator/HayaoMiyazaki'''

->The worst fucking song that I have ever heard.
-->--'''Music/FrankSinatra''' on ''Strangers in the Night''