%%NOTE TO EDITORS: Examples are sorted by genre or category; when adding new examples, please put them under the appropriate header.
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[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Anime & Manga ]]

->'''Tsubomi:''' [[UnsettlingGenderReveal The student council president is a girl...]] My first love... ended in three minutes...!\\
'''Erika:''' Uh, what should I say... Thank goodness that the Fashion Club can continue on!\\
'''Tsubomi:''' THAT'S IT!? If you're my friend, shouldn't you comfort me instead!?
-->--''Anime/HeartCatchPrettyCure''

->'''Chi-Chi:''' Oh my brave little Warrior. He's too young to be fighting! [[EducationMama He should be at home, studying!]] But no! [[{{Wangst}} He had to listen to his father instead of me!]]\\
'''Ox-King:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Hey! Your son Gohan is no longer a baby! Why, he's transcended Goku and now he's become an honorable Saiyan warrior. If you haven't figured it out by now, both your husband and your son are battling to save an entire planet, and without them, we have nothing! Oh sure, I wish it was me instead of him, but Gohan is the only hope we have left!]] Come on, Chi-Chi, everything will be okay.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' Is there more... [[PreMortemOneLiner or are you done preaching to me?]]\\
'''Ox-King:''' [[OhCrap But Chi-Chi!]]\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' [[HairTriggerTemper Get out of here!]] (''[[TantrumThrowing throws a TV at Ox-King]]'') [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint You're saying I don't know my own son?! You think just by saving the Earth he'll be able to get into a good school?! And then what? You think he'll be able to get a decent job?!]] [[CallingTheOldManOut You're the one who doesn't have a clue!]]\\
'''Ox-King:''' Alright Chi-Chi, just calm down!\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' You want me to calm DOWN?!! Someone else can fight those stupid battles, I just don't want him to be a hooligan! Goku, you bring me back my baby RIGHT NOW!!
-->--''Anime/DragonBallZ'', "Awakening"

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comic ]]

->'''Jeremy''': I'm here to renegotiate my employment, Hector.\\
'''Hector''': Dude, you quit before you ever started.\\
'''Jeremy''' (holding his hand out): Apology accepted.\\
'''Hector''': Engaging mower blade!
-->--''ComicStrip/{{Zits}}''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Disney ]]

->*[[InstantWakingSkills suddenly awakes]]* ''"Aaaah! The [[ChekhovsGunman peasant, at the diner]]... *{{Beat}}* ... He didn't pay his check..."'' *falls back to sleep*
-->--'''[[MinionWithAnFInEvil Kronk]]''', ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Film ]]

->'''Vanessa''': Did you use protection?\\
'''Austin:''': Sure baby, I used a 9mm automatic!\\
'''Vanessa''': You know that's not what I meant. Did you use a condom?\\
'''Austin''': No! Only sailors use condoms!\\
'''Vanessa''': Not in the '90s, Austin!\\
'''Austin''': Well they should, those filthy buggers. They go from port to port.
-->--''Film/AustinPowers''

->'''Martin''': And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?\\
'''Karen''': Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.\\
'''Martin''': Yeah, that was a good party.
-->--''Film/GetShorty''

->'''Mr. Furious''': [[ClarkKenting ...Lance Hunt]] '''[[ClarkKenting is]]''' [[SecretIdentity Captain Amazing.]]\\
'''The Shoveller''': Don't start that ''again''. [[PaperThinDisguise Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing]] ''[[PaperThinDisguise doesn't]]'' [[PaperThinDisguise wear glasses.]]\\
'''Mr. Furious''': He takes them off when he transforms.\\
'''The Shoveller''': That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.
-->--''Film/MysteryMen''

->I don't like you, cain't you get that through your head!?\\
LOOK, I'm [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Grape-Nose-Boy!]] BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY...
-->--'''Dexter and Ed''', ''Film/GoodBurger''

->"You mean Bethany's... part-black?"
-->--'''Jay, ''Film/{{Dogma}}'', on the revelation that Bethany's the descendant of Jesus.'''

->'''Peter Parker''': Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it! That's slander!\\
'''J. Jonah Jameson''': It is not! I resent that! (beat) Slander is spoken; in print, it's libel.
-->-- ''[[Film/SpiderMan1 Spider-Man]]''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Literature ]]

->'''[[RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething Princess Selenay]]''': I will ''not'' take those gowns, or ''these'' gowns, or any gowns ''at all!'' How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a ''battlefield,'' not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!\\
'''[[TheDitz Maid]]''': But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden--"
-->--''[[Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Honor]]''

->'''Harry:''' Holy shit. [[{{Hellhound}} Hellhounds.]]\\
'''Michael:''' Harry. You know I hate it when you swear.\\
'''Harry:''' You're right. Sorry. Holy shit. [[GoshDangItToHeck Heckhounds.]]
-->--''Literature/GravePeril''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live-Action TV ]]

->'''Charles''': Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world? \\
'''She''': Er ... Australia. \\
'''Charles''': No. Try again. \\
'''She''': Australia?\\
'''Charles''': ''(testily)'' No... try again but say a different place.\\
'''She''': Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
-->--''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', "Science Fiction Sketch"

->'''Geoffrey (the butler):''' I couldn't possibly ''[pursue a relationship with a wealthy socialite]''. It's a matter of class.\\
'''Will:''' Ain't nobody got more class than you. [[SharpDressedMan You wear a tuxedo to clean the toilet!]]
-->--''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''

-> '''Jimmy [=McGill=]:''' Let’s talk proportionally. They’re guilty – oh, agreed. Now you have to decide what’s the right sentence?\\
'''[[spoiler:Tuco]]:''' Like a judge.\\
'''Jimmy [=McGill=]:''' Like a judge. Ever heard of the Code of Hammurabi – let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?\\
'''[[spoiler:Tuco]]:''' Eye for an eye. [[BlackComedy You want me to blind them]].[[note]]The "eye for an eye" clause of the Hammurabi Code was actually a ''ban'' on DisproportionateRetribution (hence the "let the punishment fit the crime" bit). More details can be found [[Analysis/DisproportionateRetribution on that page]].[[/note]]
-->--''Series/BetterCallSaul''

->'''Pearl:''' Look around you. You're eight miles from your nearest neighbor. You're overrun with skunks, opossums, coyotes, bobcats. You use kerosene lamps for light, you cook on a wood stove summer and winter. You're drinking homemade moonshine, washing with homemade lye soap. And your bathroom is fifty feet from the house and you ask should you move?!
->*''{{Beat}}''*
->'''Jed:''' Yeah, I reckon you're right. Man be a danged fool to leave all this.
-->--''LiveActionTV/TheBeverlyHillbillies''

->'''The Doctor:''' She was frightened, ''I'' was frightened... But we survived, and the relief of it and... so, [[GladToBeAliveSex she kissed me.]]\\
'''Rory:''' And you kissed her back?\\
'''The Doctor:''' ...no, I kissed her mouth.
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Misc ]]

->'''Report On Reports Sees Too Many Reports:'''\\
''Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says.''
-->--from an Associated Press wire story, reproduced [[http://www.11points.com/News-Politics/11_Most_Painfully_Obvious_Newspaper_Articles_Ever here]]''

->"For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try ''Film/TheSocialNetwork.''"
-->--from a USA Today review of ''Film/TronLegacy''

->Creator/WillSmith was now excited about starring, though, and red-hot Creator/MichaelBay wanted to direct. Michael's first words upon meeting me were, "OK, how do we get this thing out of the damn telephone booth?" My Fox executives went into shock. Within days, Michael Bay was out and the Creator/HughesBrothers had been brought aboard to direct.
-->--'''Creator/LarryCohen''', on ''Film/PhoneBooth'''s DevelopmentHell

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Music ]]

->''Shoots him down dead on the floor''\\
''Aw, you shouldn't do that''\\
''Don't you know you'll stain the carpet''\\
''Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet''
-->--''The Music/VelvetUnderground'', "Sister Ray"

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Philosophy ]]

->''"When the wise man points at the moon, it is the fool who looks at the finger."''
-->--'''Confucius'''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Stand-Up Comedy ]]

->''"It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. [[DeadBabyComedy Some people eat out of those!]]"''
-->--'''Comedian Nikki Glaser'''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Theater ]]

-->'''Ghost:''' Revenge his most foul and unnatural murder!
-->'''Hamlet:''' Murder!
-->'''Horatio:''' Murder!
-->'''Ghost:''' For the serpent that did sting thy father's life now wears his crown!
-->'''Hamlet:''' My uncle!
-->'''Horatio:''' His uncle!
-->'''Ghost:''' Let not the royal bed of Denmark become a couch for incest!
-->'''Hamlet:''' Incest!
-->'''Horatio:''' [[RuleOfThree A couch!]]
-->(''Hamlet smacks Horatio'')
-->--Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Videogame ]]

->"Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger."
-->--Female Announcer, ''VideoGame/RabbidsGoHome''

->'''Parappa:''' Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!\\
'''PJ:''' Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn.
-->-- ''VideoGame/UmJammerLammy'', specifically [[CaptainObvious PaRappa's story]]

-> '''Deekin:''' ''I like gnomes, / So dumb and fat, / Fat and dumb / In burrows like moles / Shoot 'em full of arrows / Put 'em on a stick / That's why I like gnomes.''\\
'''Grobnar:''' My word. Just ''hearing'' that gives me the shivers.\\
'''Qara:''' I'll bet that could have shattered a castle wall.\\
'''Sand:''' Well, that cleared my sinuses.\\
'''Shandra Jerro:''' How... pleasant. Now Grobnar, I'm sure he didn't m...\\
'''Grobnar:''' I say, this is... ''genius''. The tone, the tempo. You can almost ''feel'' the angst and pain of the gnomes as they are filled with arrows... and put on sticks. And the ''theme'' of the piece... now, that is tragedy, in its deepest, most primal form. And the climax, the uplifting portion, where the affirmation of liking gnomes is confirmed... And then brought full circle with the physical and emotional double meaning of them being in the mind ''and'' in the stomach. Amazing. I say, traveling to Neverwinter with you all has really been broadening my horizons -- who would have thought I'd get to meet a kobold author and playwright!
-->--Deekin Scalesinger, Grobnar Gnomehands, Qara, Sand, and Shandra Jerro, ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights2''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Original ]]

->''I mean, [[CatholicSchoolGirlsRule I like uniforms]], but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?''
-->--'''Tedd''', ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''

->Zii, as [[GratuitousFrench une lesbienne]], I'm... I'm... '''[[BiTheWay I'm going to miss boooooooooys!]]'''
-->--'''[[http://www.menagea3.net/d/20090310.html DiDi]]''', ''Webcomic/MenageA3''

->'''Padme''': After it!\\
'''Clone NPC''': It's a spaceship. This is a hover transport-\\
'''Padme''': Modify the engines or something!\\
'''Clone NPC''': -with no walls.\\
'''Padme''': Hold your breaths!
-->--''WebComic/DarthsAndDroids'' [[http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0404.html Page 404]]

->'''''': Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.\\
'''''': rapc?\\
'''''': ...\\
'''''': Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end\\
'''''': oic\\
'''''': Though you could also say it's missing an e\\
'''''': wtf is erap?''
-->--''Bash.Org''

->I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; [[WhatAnIdiot i hate japenese music]], [[FacePalm it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think]]
-->--'''Teranovadra's''' reaction to the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5esLkkJaeZk&feature=related final stage]] of Child of Eden

->'''Goku:''' Ah- [he's] a ''Yoshi.''\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!\\
'''Goku:''' But you said you were!\\
'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''{{sarcasm|Mode}}!''\\
'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?\\
->'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') ''DAMMIT Goku!!''
-->-- '''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''' Episode 2, where Goku and Piccolo fight Raditz.

->'''Gurlukovich:''' Oh boy! I can't wait to use Metal Gear RAY [[PatrioticFervor to restore Mother Russia to her former glory!]]\\
'''Ocelot:''' What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. It sounded like "Please shoot me in the face and take this Metal Gear." '''CAN DO'''. *bang bang bang bang*
-->-- WebComic/{{Hiimdaisy}}, ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Let's Destroy The Metal Gear Again!]]''

->'''Chris:''' This, by the way, is one of my favorite things about this era: Batman has a hidden panel in his house, he hides the switch to open it, he says all the time that if his identity were revealed, it would compromise his effectiveness as a crimefighter... but he keeps the Bat-Phone just straight up sitting on his desk.\\
'''David''': Well, it’s plausible that he just likes red phones! In serving trays!
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-1966-review-2/ on]] ''Film/BatmanTheMovie''

->''The fans' chants of “BORING” have now turned to “[[Wrestling/VinceRusso Fire Russo!]]” Funny backstory there: following this encounter, [[Wrestling/{{TNA}} Dixie Carter]] did an interview saying [[FanDumb how dumb the fans]] were since [[{{Misblamed}} Russo didn’t even book this]]. She did not follow up by saying how stupid she herself was for putting on such a match that had fans chanting for someone to be on the unemployment line.''
-->--'''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''', ''[[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/six-sides-of-blindfolded-steelthe-most-brutal-blindfold-match-ever/ "Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel"]]''

->'''skeletonpart:''' during an accident as a child a small boy broke his arms and was then exposed to ''xrays'' these rays revealed that the boy was in fact ''part man,'' '''''part skeleton'''''\\
'''magehenry:''' ''..what?''\\
'''skeletonpart:''' '''''the SKELETON MAN'''''
-->--''Website/{{Tumblr}}'', given a DramaticReading [[http://kuueater.tumblr.com/post/82899790379 here]]

->'''Michael Vick''': Do you know how hard it is to quit cold turkey? Which reminds me, I've also been waterboarding turkeys.\\
'''Roger Goodell''': Dammit Michael! How am I supposed to defend that to PETA? Do you have any idea how that sounds?\\
'''Michael Vick''': Yeah, it's kind of a "gobble-gobble, glub-glub-glub" sound.\\
'''Roger Goodell''' (''double {{facepalm}}'')
-->--Website/NFLQuarterbacksOnFacebook: [[http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-free-agency-edition/ Free Agency Edition]]

->'''[[DramaQueen Dillon]]:''' ...I don't deserve a guy like Jerzy.\\
'''[[BadLiar Ruby]]:''' ...\\
'''Dillon:''' Here's where you say stuff like "Of course you deserve him, Dillon! You're a nice, handsome guy!"\\
'''Ruby:''' I don't like to lie.\\
'''Dillon:''' You don't find me handsome?
-->--''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns''

->'''Timmy:''' Hey, Jimmy, what's the answer to #2?\\
'''Jimmy:''' ''[[FrickinLaserBeams BLAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGH!]]''\\
'''Timmy:''' ... Okay... [[ExactWords "Blaaaaaa."]]
-->--''[[WebAnimation/TheLazerCollection The Lazer Collection 2]]''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation ]]

->{From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"}\\
'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.\\
'''[[LittleJimmy Jimmy:]]''' Oooohhh!\\
'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
-->--[=McClure=] misses the point ''and'' [[{{Squick}} makes it worse]], ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->'''Bart:''' Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. ''[Menacingly]'' And now, I'm going to teach some kids from Shelbyville a lesson.\\
'''Marge:''' ''[Happy]'' I choose to take that literally.\\
'''Bart:''' Death to Shelbyville!\\
'''Homer:''' Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on!
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->'''Mr. Krabs''': Neptune preserve [Sandy]! \\
'''Squidward''': How long can she stay like that?\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]''': I don't know!\\
'''Patrick''': Sandy's a girl?
-->--''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Pressure"

->'''Katara''': It says here, "[[AnOfferYouCantRefuse If you ever want to see your daughter again, bring 500 gold pieces to the Arena]]." It's signed [[ArrogantKungFuGuy Xin Fu]] and [[ProfessionalWrestling The Boulder]].\\
'''Sokka''': I can't believe it. ''[[FanBoy I HAVE THE BOULDER'S AUTOGRAPH]]!!''
-->--''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''

->'''Gumball''': It's a safe, Darwin! It's full of money! And what do bald people need more of?\\
'''Darwin''': Friends?\\
'''Gumball''': Yes! And what do you buy friends with?\\
'''Darwin''': Uhhhhh...\\
'''Gumball''': [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop With money!]]
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball, Recap/TheAmazingWorldOfGumballS1E8TheSpoon''

->'''Peter:''' Well from this day forward, I, Peter Griffin, will never drink again.\\
'''Brian:''' Peter, what are you doing?\\
'''Peter:''' Crack.
-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''Stationmaster's wife''': ''(After Thomas crashes to the stationmaster's house)'' You miserable engine! Just look what you done to our breakfast! Now I have to cook some more!
-->--''WesternAnimation/ThomasTheTankEngine, "Thomas Comes To Breakfast"''

->'''Duck:''' ''(after crashing to a barber shop)'' Beg pardon, sir. Excuse my intrusion.\\
'''The Barber:''' No, I won't! You've frightened my customers! I'll teach you! ''(lather Duck's face with shaving cream)''
-->--''WesternAnimation/ThomasTheTankEngine, "A Close Shave"''

->'''Confucius''': Never belch before a lady.\\
'''Froggo''': Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Histeria}}!''

->'''Luigi:''' 200 years [in prison]!? What're we gonna do!?\\
'''Mario:''' Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!
-->-- ''Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''

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