->''Shoots him down dead on the floor''\\
''Aw, you shouldn't do that''\\
''Don't you know you'll stain the carpet''\\
''Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet''
-->--''The Music/VelvetUnderground'', "Sister Ray"

-> *[[InstantWakingSkills suddenly awakes]]* ''"Aaaah! The [[ChekhovsGunman peasant, at the diner]]... *{{Beat}}* ... He didn't pay his check..."'' *falls back to sleep*
--> --'''[[MinionWithAnFInEvil Kronk]]''', ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

->''I mean, [[CatholicSchoolGirlsRule I like uniforms]], but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?''
-->-- '''Tedd''', ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''

->'''Charles''': Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world? \\
'''She''': Er ... Australia. \\
'''Charles''': No. Try again. \\
'''She''': Australia?\\
'''Charles''': ''(testily)'' No... try again but say a different place.\\
'''She''': Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
-->--''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', "Science Fiction Sketch"

->"Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger."
-->-- Female Announcer, VideoGame/RabbidsGoHome

->Zii, as [[GratuitousFrench une lesbienne]], I'm... I'm... '''[[BiTheWay I'm going to miss boooooooooys!]]'''
-->-- '''[[http://www.menagea3.net/d/20090310.html DiDi]]''', ''Webcomic/MenageA3''

->'''Padme''': After it!\\
'''Clone NPC''': It's a spaceship. This is a hover transport-\\
'''Padme''': Modify the engines or something!\\
'''Clone NPC''': -with no walls.\\
'''Padme''': Hold your breaths!
-->-- ''[[http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0404.html Darths and Droids]]''

-> "For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try ''Film/TheSocialNetwork.''"
-->-- A USA Today review of ''Film/TronLegacy''

->'''''': Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
->'''''': rapc?
->'''''': ...
->'''''': Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
->'''''': oic
->'''''': Though you could also say it's missing an e
->'''''': wtf is erap?
->*Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall*
-->--''bash.org''

->{From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"}\\
'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.\\
'''[[LittleJimmy Jimmy:]]''' Oooohhh!\\
'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
-->--[=McClure=] misses the point ''and'' [[{{Squick}} makes it worse]], ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

-><'''Supercow'''>: i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry
-><'''Supercow'''>: but after a while i found out it was only a rock
-><'''eightyapes'''>: idiot
-><'''Supercow'''>: fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle
-><'''eightyapes'''>: i dont think u get my point
-->-- ''Bash.org''

->'''Jeremy''': I'm here to renegotiate my employment, Hector.
->'''Hector''': Dude, you quit before you ever started.
->'''Jeremy''' (holding his hand out): Apology accepted.
->'''Hector''': Engaging mower blade!
-->-- ''{{Zits}}''

->'''Mr. Krabs''': Neptune preserve [Sandy]! \\
'''Squidward''': How long can she stay like that?\\
'''SpongeBob''': I don't know!\\
'''Patrick''': Sandy's a girl?
-->--''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Pressure"

->'''Katara''': It says here, "[[AnOfferYouCantRefuse If you ever want to see your daughter again, bring 500 gold pieces to the Arena]]." It's signed [[ArrogantKungFuGuy Xin Fu]] and [[ProfessionalWrestling The Boulder]].
->'''Sokka''': I can't believe it. ''[[FanBoy I HAVE THE BOULDER'S AUTOGRAPH]]!!''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''

-> '''Gumball''': What do bald people need more of?\\
'''Darwin''': Friends?\\
'''Gumball''': Yes! And what do you buy friends with?\\
'''Darwin''': Uhhhhh...\\
'''Gumball''': [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop With money!]]
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball''

->'''Martin''': And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?
->'''Karen''': Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.
->'''Martin''': Yeah, that was a good party.
-->-- ''GetShorty''

->I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; [[WhatAnIdiot i hate japenese music]] , [[FacePalm it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think]]
-->-- '''Teranovadra's''' reaction to the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5esLkkJaeZk&feature=related final stage]] of Child of Eden

->'''Mr. Furious''': ... Lance Hunt '''is''' Captain Amazing.\\
'''The Shoveller''': Don't start that ''again''. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing ''doesn't'' wear glasses.\\
'''Mr. Furious''': He takes them off when he transforms.\\
'''The Shoveller''': That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.
-->-- ''Film/MysteryMen''

->'''Confucius''': Never belch before a lady.
->'''Froggo''': Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Histeria}}!''

->'''Luigi:''' 200 years [in prison]!? What're we gonna do!?\\
'''Mario:''' Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!
-->-- ''SuperMarioBrosSuperShow''

->'''[[RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething Princess Selenay]]''': I will ''not'' take those gowns, or ''these'' gowns, or any gowns ''at all!'' How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a ''battlefield,'' not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!\\
'''[[TheDitz Maid]]''': But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden--"
-->-- ''[[HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Honor]]''

->'''Parappa:''' Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!\\
'''PJ:''' Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn.
-->-- ''[[PaRappaTheRapper Um Jammer Lammy]]'', specifically [[CaptainObvious PaRappa's story]]

-> '''Deekin''' ''I like gnomes, / So dumb and fat, / Fat and dumb / In burrows like moles / Shoot 'em full of arrows / Put 'em on a stick / That's why I like gnomes.''\\
'''Grobnar:''' My word. Just ''hearing'' that gives me the shivers.\\
'''Qara:''' I'll bet that could have shattered a castle wall.\\
'''Sand:''' Well, that cleared my sinuses.\\
'''Shandra Jerro:''' How... pleasant. Now Grobnar, I'm sure he didn't m...\\
'''Grobnar:''' I say, this is... ''genius''. The tone, the tempo. You can almost ''feel'' the angst and pain of the gnomes as they are filled with arrows... and put on sticks. And the ''theme'' of the piece... now, that is tragedy, in its deepest, most primal form. And the climax, the uplifting portion, where the affirmation of liking gnomes is confirmed... And then brought full circle with the physical and emotional double meaning of them being in the mind ''and'' in the stomach. Amazing. I say, traveling to Neverwinter with you all has really been broadening my horizons -- who would have thought I'd get to meet a kobold author and playwright!
-->-- Deekin Scalesinger, Grobnar Gnomehands, Qara, Sand, and Shandra Jerro, ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights2''

->I don't like you, caint you get that through your head!?
->LOOK, I'm [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Grape-Nose-Boy!]] BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY...
-->-- '''Dexter''' and '''Ed''', GoodBurger

->"You mean Bethany's... part-black?"
-->-- Jay, ''Film/{{Dogma}}'', on the revelation that Bethany's the descendant of Jesus.

->'''Goku:''' Ah- [he's] a ''Yoshi.''
->'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!
->'''Goku:''' But you said you were!
->'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''{{sarcasm|Mode}}!''
->'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?
->'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') ''DAMMIT Goku!!''
-->-- '''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''' Episode 2, where Goku and Piccolo fight Raditz.

->'''Tsubomi''': [[UnsettlingGenderReveal The student council president is a girl...]] My first love... ended in three minutes...!
->'''Erika''': Uh, what should I say... Thank goodness that the Fashion Club can continue on!
->'''Tsubomi''': THAT'S IT!? If you're my friend, shouldn't you comfort me instead!?
-->-- ''HeartcatchPrettyCure''

->'''Duck''': *after crashing to a barber shop* Beg pardon, sir. Excuse my intrusion.\\
'''The barber''': No I won't! You've frightened my customers! I'll teach you! *lather Duck's face with shaving cream*
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThomasTheTankEngine'', "A Close Shave"

->'''Gurlukovich''': Oh boy! I can't wait to use Metal Gear RAY [[PatrioticFervor to restore Mother Russia to her former glory!]]
->'''Ocelot''': What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. It sounded like "Please shoot me in the face and take this Metal Gear." '''CAN DO'''. *bang bang bang bang*
-->-- WebComic/{{Hiimdaisy}}, ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Let's Destroy The Metal Gear Again!]]''

-> '''Chi-Chi:''' Oh my brave little Warrior. He's too young to be fighting! [[EducationMama He should be at home, studying!]] But no! [[{{Wangst}} He had to listen to his father instead of me]]!\\
'''Ox-King:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Hey! Your son Gohan is no longer a baby! Why, he's transcended Goku and now he's become an honorable Saiyan warrior. If you haven't figured it out now by now, both your husband and your son are battling to save an entire planet, and without them, we have nothing! Oh sure, I wish it was me instead of him, but Gohan is the only hope we have left!]] Come on, Chi-Chi, everything will be okay.\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' Is there more... [[PreMortemOneLiner or are you done preaching to me]]?\\
'''Ox-King:''' [[OhCrap But Chi-Chi!]]\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' [[HairTriggerTemper Get out of here]]! (''[[TantrumThrowing throws a TV at Ox-King]]'') [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint You're saying I don't know my own son?! You think just by saving the Earth he'll be able to get into a good School?! And then what? You think he'll be able to get a decent job?!]] [[CallingTheOldManOut You're the one who doesn't have a clue!]]\\
'''Ox-King:''' Alright Chi-Chi, just calm down!\\
'''Chi-Chi:''' You want me to calm DOWN?!! Someone else can fight those stupid battles, I just don't want him to be a hooligan! Goku, you bring me back my baby RIGHT NOW!!
-->-- ''Anime/DragonBallZ'', "Awakening"

->'''Stationmaster's wife''': *After Thomas crashes to the stationmaster's house* You miserable engine! Just look what you done to our breakfast! Now I have to cook some more!
-->--''WesternAnimation/ThomasTheTankEngine'', "Thomas Comes To Breakfast"

->'''Geoffrey (the butler):''' I couldn't possibly ''(pursue a relationship with a wealthy socialite)''. It's a matter of class.\\
'''Will:''' Ain't nobody got more class than you. [[SharpDressedMan You wear a tuxedo to clean the toilet]]!
-->--''TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''

->''Report on Reports Sees Too Many Reports: Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says.''
-->-- An Associated Press wire story, reproduced [[http://www.11points.com/News-Politics/11_Most_Painfully_Obvious_Newspaper_Articles_Ever here]].

->''"It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. [[DeadBabyComedy Some people eat out of those!]]"''
-->--'''Comedian Nikki Glaser'''

->'''Chris:''' This, by the way, is one of my favorite things about this era: Batman has a hidden panel in his house, he hides the switch to open it, he says all the time that if his identity were revealed, it would compromise his effectiveness as a crimefighter… but he keeps the Bat-Phone just straight up sitting on his desk.\\
'''David''': Well, it’s plausible that he just likes red phones! In serving trays!
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-1966-review-2/ on]] ''Film/BatmanTheMovie''

->''"The fans' chants of “BORING” have now turned to “[[Wrestling/VinceRusso Fire Russo!]]” Funny backstory there: following this encounter, [[{{TNA}} Dixie Carter]] did an interview saying [[FanDumb how dumb the fans]] were since [[{{Misblamed}} Russo didn’t even book this]]. She did not follow up by saying how stupid she herself was for putting on such a match that had fans chanting for someone to be on the unemployment line."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/six-sides-of-blindfolded-steelthe-most-brutal-blindfold-match-ever/ "Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel"]]

->'''Peter Griffin:''' Well from this day forward, I, Peter Griffin, will never drink again.
->'''Brian:''' Peter, what are you doing?
->'''Peter Griffin:''' Crack.
-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

-> '''skeletonpart:''' during an accident as a child a small boy broke his arms and was then exposed to ''xrays'' these rays revealed that the boy was in fact ''part man'', '''''part skeleton'''''
-> '''magehenry:''' ''..what?''
-> '''skeletonpart:''' '''''the SKELETON MAN'''''
-->--''{{Tumblr}}'', given a DramaticReading [[http://kuueater.tumblr.com/post/82899790379 here]]


->''" When the wise man points at the moon, it is the fool who looks at the finger -Confucius
----