->'''Gary:''' ''Right now you are down and out,\\
And feelin' really crappy...''\\
'''Nicky:''' ''I'll say.''\\
'''Gary:''' ''But when I see how sad you are,\\
It sorta makes me... happy!''\\
'''Nicky:''' ''Happy?!''\\
'''Gary:''' ''Sorry, Nicky; human nature!\\
Nothin' I can do;\\
It's schadenfreude,\\
Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!''
-->-- '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA Schadenfreude]]''', ''Theatre/AvenueQ''

->''Please take my wife, please take my wife\\
Then Iíll ''take'' your wife, then Iíll ''fuck'' your wife\\
Just a fucking joke, though its kinda not\\
Thereís a little truth in every single shot\\
Fueled by hate\\
Await your fate\\
Your time has come\\
To die on stage\\
It's funny because it's not''
-->--'''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsHeFLL3zGk&feature=related Hatredy]]''', ''{{Metalocalypse}}''

->''It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail.''
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal'''

->'''Dwarf:''' By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!\\
'''Black Mage''': ''[winking]'' Because it seemed excessively cruel!
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'', "[[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/11/04/episode-350-first-impressions/ First Impressions]]"

->'''Dr. Ivo Robotnik''': Ah, [[MemeticMutation hap]]-[[YouTubePoop PINESS]] is always so much more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of millions.
-->--'''[[ChristmasSpecial Sonic Christmas Blast]]''', ''AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog''

->''Theatre/RichardIII'' is Creator/WilliamShakespeare's first great comedy. Okay, I know that it gets ''listed'' as a tragedy. But, y'see, a tragedy is where a lot of people get killed, and you feel sorry for some of them. In ''Theatre/RichardIII'', a lot of people get killed, and you don't feel sorry for ''any'' of them.
-->--[[http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8371319459486098655# Michael Anderson]]

->''"Whenever someone gets run over, I giggle. Does that make me a bad person?"''
-->--'''Anon'''

->"You know, it's funny. They say that television encourages violence. But I'm smashing his face in, and we haven't got one!"
-->--'''Eddie Hitler''', ''Bottom''

->"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy-'' that's ''funny."
-->--'''Bender''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->"[[EvilLaugh Mwahahaha]]... Oh come on! If you don't laugh it just seems ''mean''..."
-->--'''Barney''', ''Series/HowIMetYourMother''

->'''Carly:''' So how's Freddie?\\
'''Mrs. Benson:''' Broken. But I see you're just fine. ''[[SarcasmMode Isn't]] [[MamaBear that]] [[{{Jerkass}} nice]]?
-->--''Series/ICarly'', "[=iSaved=] Your Life"

->''"How much humor can we milk out of psychotic behavior? Find out this fall! Only on [[ImAMarvelAndImADC Marvel/DC]]!''
-->--'''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGMTxjfn0c This trailer]]''' for Season 3 of ''ImAMarvelAndImADC''

->''"It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's frickin' hilarious!"''
-->--'''T-shirt slogan'''

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