->''Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!''
-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', ''"Dare to be Stupid"''

->''Billy solves his problems by [[MommasBoy calling up his mom]]\\
Heather solves her problems with [[WatchItStoned drugs and alcohol]]\\
Daniel solves his problems with [[FrivolousLawsuit a doctor and the law]]\\
But Malcolm's got his own way and it's better than them all\\
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw\\
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw\\
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw\\
[[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer And he never has the same problem twice]]!''
-->-- '''Music/TheArrogantWorms''', ''Malcolm''

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]''': [[{{ComicBook/Doom}} Chainsaw, the great communicator!]]\\
'''Gabriel:''' My penis has teeth!
-->--'''''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq20fqqZTqw Let's Drown Out]]''''' ''[[{{VideoGame/Doom}} Brutal Doom]]'' ({{Game mod}})

->'''Ethan''': So we both have a bunch of little plastic men, right? and we move them '''manually'''. Then, when we fight, we roll dice and then do '''math''' to figure out who hits who. But there are no actual battles, or explosions. We use our '''imaginations''' like a couple of '''savages'''. It sounds almost as fun as chewing used medical syringes.\\
'''Lucas''': These guys here have '''Chainsaw swords'''.\\
'''Ethan''': This is the coolest game ever. Hurry up and figure out how to play so my little plastic dudes can chainsaw your little plastic dudes.
-->-- ''[[http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20061101 Ctrl+Alt+Del]]'' on ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->''"[[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff100/fv00035.htm Beware the happy man with power tools.]]"''
-->-- '''Florence Ambrose''', ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}''

->''"[[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff100/fv00065.htm Never water balloon anyone who's carrying a chain saw."]]''
-->-- '''Helix''', ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}''

->"As you prepare to leave the town, you- Uh, Lewis, are we boring you?"
->"Nah, I was just thinking how ''StarWars'' might've been cooler if they had chain saws intead of light sabers."
->[[http://ffn.nodwick.com/?p=331 ''(everyone get the same absent look as him)'']]
-->-- ''Webcomic/FullFrontalNerdity''

->''"Oh. how stupid of me. [[http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=37&issue=5 That was the sound of chainsaw nunchucks.]]"''
-->-- '''Dr. [=McNinja=]''', ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''

->''Problems? Problems? There is no problem I cannot solve with this...''
-->-- Attributed to '''Mad Chainsaw Johnson''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->''Make your swords become like things unto chainsaws.''
-->-- '''Glorious Chainsaw Method''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->''"You're too big to fit in a plane so... I'm going to make you compact! It'll take no time at all!"''
-->-- '''Mao''', ''Anime/CodeGeass''

->''"A '''chainsaw'''? As if [[TemptingFate things weren't bad enough already!]]"''
-->-- '''Sheva Alomar''', ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil5''

-->-- ''VideoGame/NexusWar'', in-game description of the Chainsaw weapon

-> ''"Chainsaws historically have now probably been used more often against zombies in games than against wood in real life."''
-->-- '''Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw,''' ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation,'' on ''VideoGame/Left4Dead2''

->'''Giles:''' We're going to have to create a door.\\
'''Anya:''' Create a door? You can do that?\\
'''Giles:''' I can. *revs chainsaw*
-->-- ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''

->''"'''EVERY TUESDAY, [[TitleDrop EPIC MEAL TIME]]!''' Comin' at you with a chainsaw and a big pile o'meat! If you ain't down with that? '''THEN YOU AIN'T DOWN WITH COOKING!'''"''
-->-- ''Harley Morenstein'', ''WebVideo/EpicMealTime''

->''"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."''
-->-- '''Heather Chandler''', ''Film/{{Heathers}}''

->'''Otto:''' I added the saws!\\
'''Sprx:''' You add saws to everything.
-->-- ''SuperRobotMonkeyTeamHyperforceGo''

->''"All the birds love a scar."''
-->-- '''Eddie Hitler''', ''Series/{{Bottom}}'', shortly before having his legs cut off with a chainsaw

->''"Oh, Rico. Chainsaw's {{your answer to everything}}!"''
-->-- '''Private,''' ''ThePenguinsOfMadagascar'', "I Was A Penguin Zombie"

->''"You'd be surprised how many of my transactions involve power tools."''
-->-- '''Kenzi''', ''Series/LostGirl''

->'''Frank''': [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique Drawing a confession out of someone]] is like doing a beautiful dance. [[{{Metaphorgotten}} A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.]]
->'''Dennis''': He makes [[CloudCuckooLander less and less sense as the days go by.]]
-->-- ''ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia''

->''Maybe the average young girl didn't speak of chainsaws in the same way, but Virginia felt that that was their loss. As fashion accessories they had the edge on nearly anything else, when it came to getting you a lot of attention. And respect.''
-->-- ''[[Literature/RatsBatsAndVats The Rats, the Bats and the Ugly]]''

->''"Oh, good. My dog found the chainsaw!"''
-->-- ''Disney/LiloAndStitch''

->'''Mouse Doctor''': Bring me the Epidermal Tissue Disruptor!\\
'''Wilbur''': [[OhCrap THE]] [[ParrotExpowhat EPIDERMAL]] ''[[BigWhat WHAT?!]]''\\
''(Nurse mice hoist up a chainsaw and rev it up)''\\
'''Wilder''': Oh no... no... no... [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]]
-->-- ''[[Disney/TheRescuers The Rescuers Down Under]]''

->''"Some people are born to use a chainsaw, others have chainsaws thrust upon them."''
-->-- '''Ash''', ''VideoGame/EvilDeadAFistfulOfBoomstick''

->''"Gotta love this job." *revs chainsaw*''
-->-- '''Stella Bonasera''', ''{{Series/CSINY}}''