----

[[folder:The Way of the Metagamer]]
%%comment% All quotes are of course made by the character known as Captain Obvious, unless otherwise stated.
->''"I am Captain Obvious. I am standing on the ground and [[BroughtToYouByTheLetterS wearing a cape which is red and says CO on it]] in big letters."''
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/30/ #30]]

->''"[[EvilLaugh AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!]] Mine is an evil laugh! I am standing on the ground wearing a cape which is a red cape and a hat which is also red. You cannot see any of this because I am masked as a silhouette for dramatic tension!"''
->[Two panels later]
->''"I am now fully visible, except for a really cool-looking shadow! I have a cape. It is red and says CO on it. I have a hat, which is also red. [[TheReveal I am going to destroy you all now.]]"''
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/50/ #50]]

->'''Captain Obvious''': I have an [[GoodHairEvilHair evil goatee]] and [[RuleOfThree a cape which is red and says CO on it]]. [[BlondGuysAreEvil The goatee is yellow.]] I also have hair sticking up on either side which is also evil and yellow. I will destroy you all now.
->[Next panel]
->'''Captain Obvious''': [[CallingYourAttacks Magic Spell Which I Am Currently Casting That Includes Both Verbal And Somatic Components But Not Material Components!]]
->[[[BeatPanel One round later...]]]
->'''Fred''': What exactly does that spell actually DO?
->'''Captain Obvious''': [[OverlyLongName Magic Spell Which I Am Currently Casting That Includes Both Verbal And Somatic Components But Not Material Components]] is a magic spell. [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment It is magic. It includes both verbal and somatic components.]] [[ShapedLikeItself Magic is magical. Magical things are magic.]] There are lots of useful magic spells.
->'''Jane''': Hold Person is the magic spell which I am casting, which is Hold Person! Hold Person is a magic spell. Magic spells are magic. [[VancianMagic I had to prepare Hold Person this morning in order to now cast it!]] {{Take that}}!
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/52/ #52]]

->''"Your feeble spell cannot hold Captain Obvious, [[OverlyLongGag who has a cape which is red that says CO on it]] and a goatee which is evil and yellow! Also, the goatee is evil! And the cape is red! Goatee is yellow!"''
->[...]
->''"Even the power of metamagic is not enough to stop Captain Obvious. You are doomed. [[ViewersAreGoldfish I have a cape which is red and says CO on it. I also have a goatee which is evil and yellow. And a cape which is red and says CO on it. And a goatee which is evil and yellow. The evil goatee is yellow.]]"''
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/53/ #53]]

->''"That's IT! I have angry, inward-angled eyebrows! [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs And a goatee which is yellow and evil!]] [[InvertedTrope And evil! And yellow!]] And a cape which is red and says CO on it!"''
->[Next panel]
->''"Magic Spell Which Also Requires A Ranged Touch Attack [[NarratingTheObvious As Evidenced By The Fact]] [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger That I Am Pointing At My Target]] While Casting The Magic Spell Which Is Magical And By The Way This Spell Also Has Verbal And Somatic Components!"''
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/54/ #54]]

->'''Jane''': [[LampshadeHanging Captain Obvious apparently can't cast any spells that aren't entirely obvious.]] We should be able to escape pretty easily. I saw a window...
->'''Captain Obvious''': As you can tell [[IdeaBulb from the lantern hovering above my head]] which has a goatee which is evil and yellow, I have figured out how to defeat you! [[RefugeInAudacity I have a cape which is red and says CO on it!]]
->[...]
->'''Captain Obvious''': I am holding a wooden sign! It is made of wood. There is writing on the sign.
->'''Captain Obvious''': Destruction is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!
->[[[TalkingWithSigns The sign says the exact same thing.]]]
->'''Jane''': Counterspell.
->'''Captain Obvious''' [holds up a different sign]: Disintegrate is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!
->'''Jane''': Counterspell.
->'''Captain Obvious''' [[[RuleOfThree holds up a third sign]]]: Enervation is magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!
->'''Jane''': Counterspell.
->'''Captain Obvious''' [[[OverlyLongGag holds up yet another sign]]]: Meteor Swarm is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!
->'''Jane''': Counterspell.
->'''Captain Obvious''': How can you tell so consistently which spell I'm casting? [[RPGMechanicsVerse Surely you'll roll a natural 1 on Spellcraft eventually!]]
->'''Jane''': [[DeadpanSnarker Holding up the spell's name on a big sign provides a +20 bonus, believe it or not.]]
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/56/ #56]]

->'''Captain Obvious''' [while lunging at his opponent]: I initiate a grapple attempt!
->[...]
->'''Captain Obvious''': I have succeeded on a melee touch attack, and am now grappling. I have a cape which is red and says CO on it.
->'''Captain Obvious''': I am damaging my opponet as with an unarmed strike as detailed in the grapple rules!
->'''Jane''': Since when does [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] have grapple rules?
->'''CaptainObvious''': D&D's always had grapple rules. They're in the core rulebooks.
->'''Jane''': Huh.
->'''Jane''': My DM always said the grapple rules came in an extra sourcebook. And refused to purchase it. They've been core all this time?
->'''Captain Obvious''' [while hiding sign behind his back]: Yep. [[ScrappyMechanic He may have been justified in not using them, though.]]
->'''Captain Obvious''' [brandishes sign]: Enervation is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical! You can't counterspell since you're still in the prone position! I have a cape which is red and says CO on it!
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/57/ #57]]

->''"[[ToThePain Cringe as you receive 1d4 negative levels!]] HA HA HA HA HA! Mine is an evil laugh! I have a cape which is red and says CO on it, [[TalkingIsAFreeAction and also somehow enough time to gloat in the middle of casting an Instantaneous spell!]]"''
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/58/ #58]]

->'''Captain Obvious''': I am about to cast [[FinishingMove Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic]]. It is an epic-level spell. [[InfoDump To cast or create epic-level spells, one must take the Epic Spellcasting feat.]] I have a cape which is red and says CO on it. Now I will cast Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic.
->'''Bob''': Why are you telling us all this?
->'''Captain Obvious''': Because it's obvious, naturally. Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic!
-->--[[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/61 #61]]
[[/folder]]

----

->''"Use your weapons! They are designed to inflict damage!"''
-->--'''[[TheRedMage Red Mage]]''', Webcomic/EightBitTheater

->"Well Mr. Mencken, what do you make of this city hall explosion?"\\
"Well...it exploded, that's for certain."
-->--''Daily Planet'' Columnist and Expert on City Hall Explosions '''Max Mencken''', ''It's a Bird, it's a Plane, it's Superman!''

->''[[MemeticMutation "People die if they are killed..."]]''[[note]]...''[[BeamMeUpScotty "that's the way things should be."]]''[[/note]]
-->-- '''Shirou Emiya''', ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight'' FanSub

->"And so he brought forth a carrot. And said; 'Behold this! For it is a carrot.' And all about him knew that it was so. For it was orange. With a green top."
-->--Creator/RowanAtkinson, "Amazing Jesus" sketch

-> "And he speaks; 'I don't think those jewels belong to you.' ({{Beat}}) [[DeadpanSnarker I salute you, World's Greatest Detective!]]"
-->--Catwoman, describing an early encounter with Franchise/{{Batman}}: ''FanFic/CatTales''

->'''Ginger:''' You mean you never actually ''flew'' the plane?\\
'''Fowler:''' Good heavens, no! I'm a chicken! The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ChickenRun''

->''Apparently there is a game of "spot the moment where Creator/JonPertwee decides to quit the series" to be played with this story. My nominee is when he has to pretend that solving a maze is an interesting and dramatic event, in particular when he expresses that he thinks they've got it when there is no ambiguity whatsoever that they have a straight shot to the exit.''
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2011/09/poor-pathetic-creatures-death-to-daleks.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS11E3DeathToTheDaleks}} "Death to the Daleks"]]

->''Joseph was rushed to the hospital where doctors discovered the 19 bullet-holes in his body. The attending physician later testified that Joseph was "probably in severe pain." Dr. Obvious likely went on to say that the red stuff pouring out of Joseph's body was "probably blood."''
-->-- ''Cracked.com'' [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17573_7-fatal-injuries-that-people-somehow-survived.html 7 Fatal Injuries (That People Somehow Survived)]]

->The only difference between me and a madman is that [[BeggingTheQuestion I'm not mad]].
-->-- attributed to '''Creator/SalvadorDali'''

->[[OverlyLongGag "If I kill you then you will die... If you die then you will be dead... If you're dead then you won't be alive... If you aren't alive you won't be able to breath and then you will die..."]]
-->-- '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUal-aTCL74&feature=PlayList&p=03389DC24AABE458&index=13 Rem]]''', ''[[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeries1KidsEntertainment Death Note Abridged (1Kids Entertainment)]]''

->"Life is very important to Americans."
-->- Bob Dole

->"You are huge! That means you have huge guts!"
-->--''Doom Marine'', '''[[{{Comicbook/Doom}} Doom Comics]]'''

->"Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!"
-->--''Doom Marine'', '''Doom Comics'''

->"Now I'm in a completely different place!"
-->--''[[RuleOfThree Doom Marine]]'', you guessed it, '''Doom Comics'''

->'''ComicBook/AnimalMan:''' You must be Robot-Man.
->'''Robot-Man:''' And you must be the guy who states the obvious.
-->--'''ComicBook/DoomPatrol'''

->'''Grey Warden''': Thanks for stating the completely obvious, by the way.
->'''Alistair''': No problem. It's nice to have a purpose.
-->--''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''

->''Magma is not a water source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.''
-->-- ''[[http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Magma#Magma_compared_to_water The Dwarf Fortress Wiki]]''

->''Hey, he just stopped at that house over there! Hey, I just stated the obvious! Oh look, a chair!''
-->--'''Tom''', ''Eddsworld''

->'''Father Ted:''' We need something that will keep them away from the house something to distract them... but what?
->'''[[TheDitz Father Dougal]]:''' A diversion! That's what it's called, a diversion!
-->--''FatherTed''

->"She managed to obtain a concealed weapons permit yesterday."
->Oh shit. I gaze at him, blinking, and feel the blood draining from my face as I absorb this news. I may faint. Suppose she wants to kill him? No.
->"That means she can just buy a gun," I whisper.
-->--''[[Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey Fifty Shades Darker]]''

->'''Leela:''' Ow, fire hot!
->'''Professor Farnsworth:''' Professy will help! Oh, fire indeed hot!
-->--''[[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} The Day the Earth Stood Stupid]]''

->'''Fry:''' Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you.\\
'''Leela:''' Like what?\\
'''Fry:''' Like this is not the end.
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''', ''Into the Wild Green Yonder''

->"It seems you have to defeat this one to win!"
-->--'''[[MissionControl Fuuka Yamagishi]]''', ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p0gGj5iATw Gasp! The Enemy!]]''

->''"That's a lot of fish!"''
-->-- The 1998 American ''Film/{{Godzilla|1998}}'' movie

->'''Ron Weasley:''' You can't break an Unbreakable Vow.\\
'''Harry Potter:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I'd worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.]] What happens if you break it, then?\\
'''Ron:''' You die.\\
--''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''

->'''Chie:''' Hey, there's a noose here!\\
'''Narrator/Protagonist:''' Spooky. Your thoughts, Yosuke?\\
'''Yosuke:''' Nooses are bad.\\
'''Narrator/Protagonist:''' Super!
-->Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}} - VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}

-> '''Dojima''': Two bodies hanging from a telephone pole... and we don't even know if this is a homicide case yet. (...) We've got no clues about the perp. We don't even have a '''sus''' because the '''sec''' with a '''mo's''' got a '''perf al'''.
-> (...)
-> '''Adachi''': Um, so what do we know about the case so far?
-> '''Dojima''': The perp is ''probably'' in Inaba.
-> '''Ace ☆ DETECTIVE'''
-->--Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}} - VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}

->One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in ''It's a nice day'', or ''You're very tall'', or ''Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?'' At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about.
-->- ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1''

->"All toasters toast toast!"
-->-- '''Mario''', ''VideoGame/HotelMario''[[note]]To all of you who just went, "Toasters toast bread!" yes, that is true. They can also re-toast toast.[[/note]]

->It is no surprise that after I killed their Pope, annihilated their army, taken their capitol, and expelled their priests that our relations with the Holy See would suffer. [[LampshadeHanging What is a surprise is that I pay men who can clearly only tell me that which is blatantly obvious]].
-->--'''[[Fanfic/IAmSkantarios Emperor Skantarios]]'''

-> '''Jon:''' Today, we're doing a video about birds!
-> '''Jacques:''' How dare you say that to me? You know my mother was a bird.
-> '''Jon:''' Well, yes... yeah. Yeah, I'm... I'm aware.
-->-- ''WebVideo/JonTron''

->''Toxic waste is poisonous.''
-->-- '''Game tutorial tip,''' ''LegoBatman''

->'''Aragorn:''' Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.
->'''Legolas:''' A diversion! ''[In tones of one having a great revelation.]''
-->--''Film/TheLordOfTheRings''

->''"Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field."''
-->-- '''John Madden'''

->'''Don Calfari''': But I did not give the orders to wipe out the Spaldoni family. That is an order that I did not give.\\
'''Mobster''': Okay, Don Calfari. If you didn't give the order, then what does that mean?\\
'''Don Calfari''': That would mean someone had to give the order. Someone that was not me.
-->--''TheMiddleman'', "The Pilot Episode Sanction"

->''"I knew it!'' That sword... It's your weapon, isn't it?!"\\
--'''Might Guy''', ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''

->'''Goon:''' "That's a dead dog."
->'''Anton Chigurh:''' "Yes, it is."
-->--''NoCountryForOldMen''

->'''Marine Officer:''' Ah, shit! Sir, I dinged your statue.
->'''Capt. Morgan:''' [[SarcasmMode Thank you, Lieutenant Obvious.]]
->'''Officer:''' Sir, it's Captain, sir.
->'''Morgan:''' Yes, yes, I am.
->'''Officer:''' Obvious, sir?
->'''Morgan:''' Obviously I'm a captain.
->'''Officer:''' Sir, I'm confused.
->'''Morgan:''' Well you're definitely not cut out to be captain then, huh? [beat] Carry on, Lieutenant.
->'''Officer:''' I'm a corporal.
->'''Morgan:''' You would be!
->'''Officer:''' Would be what, sir?
->'''Morgan:''' [raises his axe-hand]
->'''Officer:''' [in his head] WorthIt. [cue Luffy distracting them both]
-->--''NonePiece''

->"I am murdered."
-->-- ''UsefulNotes/SpencerPerceval'' on his own assassination.

->''"Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered... and somebody is responsible."''
-->-- Detective, ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace''

->''Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here.''
->''Could you put that in a memo, and entitle it "Shit I already know!"''
-->[[Machinima/RedVsBlue Sarge and Simmons]] on Donut, who was just blown up.

-> "You see those things that look like time bombs? Oh yeah! Those are time bombs."
-->-- A gem of advice from musclebomber2021 about Super [[strike:[[VideoGame/{{Bomberman}} Bomber]]]][[WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}} Bummerman]] 2

->''"Mega Man, Mega Man! Come in! There's these [[FrickinLaserBeams big yellow beams]] that [[OneHitKill kill you]] if you-" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH, I don't need you!''
-->--'''Roll''' and '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''' arguing in Quick Man's Stage on an episode of ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''.

->'''John:''' Fun? There's a woman lying dead!
->'''Sherlock:''' Perfectly sound analysis, but I was hoping you'd go deeper.
-->--''Series/{{Sherlock}}''

->'''Inspector Lestrade''' (''seeing a midget in Lord Blackwood's coffin''): That's not Blackwood!
->'''Holmes''': Now we have a firm grasp... of the obvious.
-->--[[GuyRitchie Guy Ritchie's]] ''[[Film/SherlockHolmes Sherlock Holmes]]''

->"In the silent movie, there's no talking."
-->--'''Natasha Bedingfield''', ''Silent Movie''

->"In Economics, everything that is not obvious, is usually bullcrap."
-->--Mário Henrique Simonsen, Brazilian economist (original: ''Em Economia, tudo o que não é óbvio, normalmente é besteira.'' This phrase may extend to other fields.)

->My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
-->--'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Lenny]]''' ''when Homer hits him with pudding.''

->''[thousands of Confederacy starfighters stream past Yoda's window]''\\
'''Mace Windu:''' The city is under attack!\\
'''Yoda:''' Defend the city we must!
-->-- ''StarWarsCloneWars''

->'''Darth Baras:''' RAAAAAAGH! I cannot break him!
->'''Sith Apprentice:''' Is there some problem here?
->'''Darth Baras:''' Who would ask such a stupid question?! ''Clearly'', there's a problem here!
--->''Or...''
->'''Sith Apprentice:''' I feel your anger, master.
->'''Darth Baras:''' A blind, deaf, comatose lobotomy patient could ''feel my anger!''
-->--'''''StarWarsTheOldRepublic''''', as Darth Baras [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxhaN-IB1Qs loses his patience.]]

->'''''It's a trap!'''''
-->-- (many characters in Franchise/StarWars, but most famously) '''Admiral Ackbar''', ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi''

->[[ExaggeratedTrope "That's air going into my lungs."]]
-->-- '''Colin Mochrie''', ''[[Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]''

->''"Almost every sugary candy calls itself 'A FAT FREE FOOD,' as if we're idiots. Why would we think there's fat in a Lemon Head? Is some mad man running loose in your factory and putting a drop of love handle in every box? Of course candy is fat free--it's technically everything free since edible glue and corn syrup aren't food groups. Are you insecure, candy? Because you don't see gravy bragging about being sugar free... And nothing's worse than vegetables that are proud of themselves for not having fat. Way to go, [[DamnedByFaintPraise fat free refried beans.]] You managed to get smashed into a can before a time traveler from the '40s put lard in you."''
-->--''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-ways-marketers-think-were-retarded/#ixzz33AqeKc6F "6 Words Advetisers Use (That Don't Mean a Damn Thing)"]]

->''"'This area is quite verdant.' 'We are on a path.' 'We could get a good view from the top of that tower.' I know we could, asshole. Do you know how I know? Because I was just on the top of that tower. '''And so were you.'''''
-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]''' on ''VideoGame/DragonsDogma''

->'''Chris:''' Zod makes some weird analogies about Cain and Abel, and then has Clark dragged to this arena where people are watching two guys dressed as [[GladiatorGames gladiators fight each other with swords]], and Oliver yells out “He wants you to fight! To the death!” Thanks for the update there, Katie Couric... Oliver also gives him helpful tips like “use the shield!”\\
'''David''': Way to backseat gladiate, dick.\\
'''Chris''': It’s great, because I was really hoping they’d take his character in a more “Navi From [[OcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]” direction. Hey! Listen!
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-19-dominion/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Dominion")
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