-> ''"The only permanent rule in [[TropeNamers Calvinball]] is that you can't play it the same way twice!"''
-->-- '''Calvin''', ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

-> ''"I'll invoke [[ThirdPersonPerson Poland]]'s rule! It'll always be my turn!"''
-->-- '''[[NationsAsPeople Poland]]''' during a game of chess, ''Webcomic/HetaliaAxisPowers''

-> ''"That's Numberwang!"''
-->-- '''The host of Numberwang''', frequently, at ''completely random intervals'', ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook''

->"Malachi shrugged. He didn't follow human sports. They were too dull and the rules never changed."
-->-- Malachi's Narration summarizing TheFairFolk's sports in ''[[Literature/QuantumGravity Chasing the Dragon]]''

-> '''[=SpongeBob=]''': Hike Patrick, hike!
-> ''[Drops rock, which breaks in two, as Patrick blows chess pieces forward on a board]''
-> '''[=Spongebob=]''': You just lost 3 points!
-> ''[Climbs up coral]''
-> '''[=SpongeBob=]''': 1, 2, 5!
-> ''[Stands on his head and blows a bubble in the shape of "G7"]''
-> '''[=SpongeBob=]''': G7!
-> '''Patrick''': G7?! King me, king me!
-> ''[Runs and smashes into coral; [=SpongeBob=]'s bubble kit lands in his hand]''
-> '''Patrick''': ''[triumphantly]'' I lose!
-> '''[=SpongeBob=]''': But it's not Tuesday, Patrick!
-> '''Patrick''': Tartar sauce!
-> '''Squidward''': What are you two [[HypocriticalHumor invertebrates]] doing?!
-> ''[{{Beat}}]''
-> '''[=SpongeBob=] and Patrick''': We don't know.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS1E11 Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost]]"

-> ''"Could someone please tell me what we are supposed to be doing? What's the point? This entire game is completely random! It jumps from one thing to another, I don't know how you are supposed to win, and Patrick seems to be making up the rules as he goes along!"''
-->-- '''Squidward''' on Patrick's game, ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''

->'''Humph''': Fingers on buzzers, teams. How many legs have donkeys?
->'''Tim''' [''buzzing'']: Four!
->'''Humph''': Tim says four. Barry and Graeme?
->'''Barry and Graeme''': Higher, higher, no, I think it's lower. Lower.
->'''Humph''': You say lower? Well, the right answer is no legs have donkeys. So, you were right to go lower. And Tim gets ten points. Tim, question or nominate?
->'''Tim''': Nominate Graeme!
->'''Humph''': No, the correct answer is "nominate Barry". You lose ten points. Barry, what's the first letter of the word "aardvark": A, B, C or D?
->'''Barry''': Can I go 50-50, Humph?
->'''Humph''': Very well. Computer, take away one wrong answer and one right answer. Barry, you have two wrong answers left. Which do you go for?
-->-- "The Quiz of Quizzes", ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue''

->''"Other kids' games are such a bore!\\
They gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!\\
Calvinball is better by far!\\
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!\\
You never need a team or a referee!\\
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!"''
-->-- ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''Twilight''': What's Blernsball?\\
'''[[Series/RetroGameMaster Arino]]''': It's baseball, but they jazzed up a lot.\\
'''Twilight''': Ah baseball. I love complicated games!\\
'''[[VideoGame/{{Scribblenauts}} Maxwell]]''': Oooh! I love it when they bend the rules! At least it's more fun than the Giant Ape Fights, that just sounds boring.
-->-- ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

->'''Jim:''' All right. So each player gets six cards, except the one on the player's right, who gets seven. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.\\
'''Sulu:''' Is today Tuesday?\\
'''Scotty:''' It's got to be Tuesday ''[[UniversalUniverseTime somewhere]]'', Mr. Sulu.\\
'''Jim:''' Stipulated. Now, two jacks is a half-fizzbin, but you don't want three. Three is a shralk. You get those, you get disqualified.\\
'''Ael:''' You do?\\
'''Jim:''' Absolutely. Now look there: Sulu's got two jacks. That's good. Now he wants a king and a deuce.\\
'''[=McCoy=]:''' Except at night. In which case he wants a king and an ace.\\
'''tr'Keirianh:''' How is "night" determined? If playing aboard ship, does ship's time prevail? Or is it always determined to be night in space?\\
'''Jim:''' Only in leap year.\\
'''Sulu:''' When the moon is full.\\
'''K's't'lk:''' Now wait a minute. ''Whose'' moon?\\
'''Ael:''' And why should a year leap?\\
''(reportedly goes on for two more hours)''
-->-- A game of fizzbin, ''Franchise/{{Star Trek|ExpandedUniverse}}: Literature/{{Rihannsu}} -- The Empty Chair''

->''" No, Ozy, "House Rules Parcheesi" is absolutely nothing like "Calvinball." Now, you have seven blorms, and you have to move your roll of duct tape around the giant ceramic hippo."''
-->-- '''Isolde''', ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie''

->''Once the gong is rung, the offensive team serves the pom-pom and advances down the field. The defending cyclists race past the tackling dummies and try to get into scoring position. If they manage to return the pom-pom into one of the scoring locations, they will be awarded a chance to chase the jumbo riding ball past the midfield skiing defender, while the other team tries to hit as many tennis balls as they can using golf clubs. I don't know why this guy has a canoe paddle.''
-->-- '''"Playing a Game of Sports"''' - ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''

->'''Future Ted:''' ''[narrating]'' Now, I had been to a lot of casinos before that night, and I've been to a lot of casinos since, but in all that time I've never seen a game quite like this one. To this day, I have no idea how it was played. But luckily, Barney did.\\
'''Lily:''' Do you understand what's happening?\\
'''Ted:''' Not a clue.\\
'''Robin:''' Do you think he's winning?\\
'''Ted:''' I don't even know if he's playing.\\
'''Marshall:''' Wait, I get it, I understand this game.\\
'''Ted:''' ...no you don't.\\
'''Marshall:''' I totally understand the game, Theodore! Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.\\
'''Barney:''' Marshal, please. Don't you think I know what I'm-- ''[glances over the board]'' My God, you're ''right''!
-->-- ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' season 2 episode 8 "Atlantic City," regarding a game of "Shing Hasabu Shing"

->'''Steelbeak''': ''[laying down two circle cards]'' Go fish.\\
'''Launchpad''': ''[laying down two hearts]'' Old maid.\\
'''Steelbeak''': Uhh... ''[plays a double diamond card]'' Crazy eights.\\
''[Suspense {{Beat}}]''\\
'''Launchpad''': ''[laying down entire hand]'' Checkmate.\\
'''Steelbeak''': ''[throws his cards in frustration]'' Well played.\\
'''Dewey''': It was?!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017'', Steelbeak and Launchpad are playing Baccarat.

->...it was [Creator/HGWells and I] who invented the well-known and widespread national game of Gype. All sorts of variations and complications were invented in connection with Gype. There was Land Gype and Water Gype. I myself cut out and coloured pieces of cardboard of mysterious and significant shapes, the instruments of Table Gype; a game for the little ones. It was even duly settled what disease threatened the over-assiduous player; he tended to suffer from Gype's Ear. My friends and I introduced allusions to the fashionable sport in our articles; Bentley successfully passed one through the Daily News and I through some other paper. Everything was in order and going forward; except the game itself, which has not yet been invented.
-->-- '''Creator/GKChesterton''' describes a "standing joke" in his social circle, ''Autobiography''

->'''Baljeet:''' If I miss the third shuttlecock with my rubber chicken, does Buford have to jump over the chokecherry bush before or after the girls finish peeling their tangerines?\\
'''Buford, Candace, and Isabella:''' ''After!''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Got Game?"

->''Man, I've been watching this game for about an hour and I still don't get it. Go team!''
-->-- '''Man''', referring to "Critterball", ''WesternAnimation/BigCityGreens'', "Critterball Crisis"

->'''Angel Dust:''' Go fish.\\
'''Sir Pentious:''' No wait, I have the TabletopGame/{{Uno}} card, that makes me ''immune!''\\
'''Angel Dust:''' That's only in the first round, dummy!\\
'''Sir Pentious:''' Not if your birthday is in April!\\
'''Husk:''' This game is an abomination.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/HazbinHotel'' [[https://www.tumblr.com/greykolla-art/743886214991577088/imagine-spending-all-your-energy-being-cool-and fan comic]] by greykolla-art
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