->''"Nuthin' goes right, I just can't fight it\\
Eastern Airlines ''thanked me'' for flying United!\\
[[YankTheDogsChain I got some money]], what did I do?\\
[[HonestJohnsDealership I bought some quicksand,]] [[ObligatoryJoke the deal fell through]]\\
My car broke down, I called Triple-A\\
They left the car and towed ''me'' away\\
I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old\\
I called suicide prevention, [[NoSympathy they put me on hold]]\\
Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall\\
I'm always up against the wall\\
''(Whasamatta Rodney?)''\\
Ahh, I don't get no respect at all"''
-->--'''Rodney Dangerfield''', "Rappin' Rodney"

->''"The only reason I was born was that rats had chewed on Mother's douche bag, or so she told me." This is an essential starting point to the Nina story.''
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->''"We seem to be made to suffer; it's our lot in life."''
-->--'''C-3PO''', ''Franchise/StarWars''

->''"I lead a cursed life!"''
-->--'''Yousuke''', ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}'', finally realizing that he is this trope.

->"Why is everybody always pickin' on me?"
-->--from the chorus to "Charlie Brown", by '''The Coasters''' (and no, the song is not about ''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} that]]'' Charlie Brown)

->"A History of American Farming by Peter Fox: who had a very rough time getting out of bed this morning and didn't eat breakfast and who pinched his left thumb in his gym locker and lost his favorite pencil in the library and whose day got even worse when..."
-->--'''[[ComicStrip/FoxTrot Peter Fox]]''' writing his essay for a 'sympathy grade' (which takes up several pages).

->Actually, the crawling awkwardness starts with the introductory fiction. It's about an overweight computer nerd with glasses, bad skin, and bad hair - and everybody picks on him! There's even a pair of pictures with him looking all sad. Aww.\\
'''Gandhi''' would have kicked this kid's ass.
-->--'''Darren [=MacLennon=]''', [[http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14347.phtml review]] of the TabletopGame/{{Wraeththu}} RPG.

->''"If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer."''

->'''Claret:''' And what '''[[RougeAnglesOfSatin valliant]]''' deeds did your employers do?\\
'''Webcomic/{{Nodwick}}:''' They valiantly fed me to a '''hydra''', sundered an ancient seal with my '''head''', and spoiled an evil wizard's spell by substituting my '''nose''' for one of the spell components. [[SarcasmMode Huzzah.]]
-->--''[[http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/gamespyarchive/index.php?date=2001-12-05 Nodwick]]''

->'''Fran:''' Where's Manny?
->'''Bernard:''' He's not here.
->'''Fran:''' Well how can I find him?
->'''Bernard:''' You could become a terrible event and happen to him.

->"Sometimes, I'm afraid to be happy, because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."
-->--'''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Charlie Brown]]'''

->"Why is it always me?"
-->--'''Neville Longbottom''', ''Film/HarryPotter''

->''"Hey c'mon, make fun of the bald guy! I'll be your lightning rod of hate!"''
-->--'''Colin Mochrie''', ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway?''

->''"Nobody likes Milhouse!"''
-->--'''Dewey Largo (the music teacher)''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->''"Sometimes, I think I was born to be picked on..."''
-->--'''Moses Sandor''', ''VideoGame/TalesOfLegendia''

->"I was the happiest guy in the world, [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption but fate likes to play a little game called]] "''Up yours, Moe''.""
-->--'''Moe''', WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons

->''"But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him."''
-->--''Discworld/TheColourOfMagic'' (describing Rincewind, of course)

->''If you're going to probe anyone, probe Chris!''
-->--'''Dan''' after he and Chris get taken by a UFO, ''DanVs''.

->''Wow. Even my dreams hate me.''
-->--'''Jerry''', CodeMonkeys

->''It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world.''
-->--''[[VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue Pokemon Fire Red's]]'' Pokedex entry for Magikarp

->''I think somebody rubbed all the sixes off the dice he throws.''
-->--'''[[MadScientist Kevyn Andreyasn]]''' on John [[SdrawkcabName der Trihs]], ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary''

->''I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!''
-->--'''Jack Sparrrow''' to '''Joshamee Gibbs''', ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbean''

->''Wh-Why is everyone ganging up on me? It's so unfair... It's just that... I fell in love with Ragna the Bloodedge...''
-->--'''Noel Vermillion''' when all the other female characters gang up on her over Ragna in Rachel's gag ending, ''VideoGame/BlazBlueContinuumShift''

->''Why can't I do anything when it really counts!?''
-->--'''Zorne Sepperin''', ''{{Rosenkreuzstilette}}''

->''He hath been most notoriously abused.''
-->--'''Olivia''' on '''Malvolio''', [[LampshadeHanging hanging a lampshade]] at the end of ''Theatre/TwelfthNight''

->''Are we laughing at Yamcha? Because I'm always up for that.''
-->--'''King Kai,''' '''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'''

->''[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?]]''
-->--'''Squidward''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants''

->'''Teddie''': Wowee, Sensei! That was amazing! Don't you think so, whatsyourface?
->'''Yosuke''': Dude, why can't I be 'Sensei'?
->'''Teddie''': Because you're comic relief.
-->--'''Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}[='=]s Overly Long VideoGame/{{Persona 4}} Comic'''

->"You know, at this point, i should really just accept that nobody anywhere respects me, shouldn't i?"
-->--'''[[Manga/{{Bleach}} Yumichika]]''', ''FanFic/UninvitedGuests''

->'''[[TheWasp Hank]] [[ComicBook/AntMan Pym]]''': ''You can take over from here? You? [[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark?]] [[ComicBook/CivilWar Mister Fought-against-Cap-in-the-civil-war,]] [[WorldWarHulk shot-Hulk-into-space-and-caused-World-War-Hulk,]] [[SecretInvasion gave-the-Skrulls-everything-they-needed-to-invade-Earth.]] You're taking over? Come on, give me one good reason why—''
->'''ComicBook/IronMan''': ''[[TwoWordsObviousTrope Three words.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis You're. Hank. Pym.]]''
->'''Hank Pym''': ''Hey, come on!''
-->--'''[[ComicBook/TheAvengers Mighty Avengers]], Issue #23'''

->"In UsefulNotes/{{Cleveland}}, it's not a matter of ''what'' will go wrong, but ''when'' it will."
-->--'''''Maxim''''', "[[http://www.maxim.com/sports/eight-sports-cities-could-use-some-serious-luck Eight Sports Cities That Could Use Some Serious Luck]]"

->'''Allon''': Okay, you don't like me! We get it!
-->--[[http://youtu.be/tgF2rOV2qxA Space Tree the Space Tree in Space]]

->''Nobody screws Yamcha but life.''
-->--'''Bulma,''' ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->''Your life will be filled with disappointment.''
-->--'''Robbie Shapiro''' while reading a fortune cookie, {{Victorious}}

->''Why is it that lately, all I want to do is cry?''
-->--'''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Phoenix Wright]]''', Franchise/AceAttorney

->''I'm always the fall guy!''
-->-- '''Knuckles the Echidna''', ''Anime/SonicX''

->''"'Champion Gear-Carrier For All Your Gear-Carrying Needs' is a pretty wordy synonym for 'Chimp Derriere, Lord of the Butt Monkeys', but I suppose it looks better on a desk plaque."''
-->-- ''EquestriaDaily'', [[http://www.equestriadaily.com/2014/05/equestria-games-episode-followup.html "Equestria Games" Followup Guide]]