->'''Xander:''' I kind of had a problem with the math.\\
'''Willow:''' Which part?\\
'''Xander:''' [[AllOfThem The math]].

->'''Girl #1:''' The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude What kind of name is "Buffy"]]?\\
'''Girl #2:''' ''[walking by]'' [[HypocriticalHumor Hey, Aphrodesia]].

->'''Cordelia:''' Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker.\\
'''Buffy:''' Dead?\\
'''Cordelia:''' ''Totally'' dead. ''Way'' dead.\\
'''Xander:''' So, not just [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment a little dead]], then.

->''It's the weirdest thing. He's got two little holes in his neck and all the blood's been drained. [[ManyQuestionsFallacy Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going "ooh"?]]''
-->--'''Buffy''' ''[to Giles]''

->'''Giles:''' Into each generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the--\\
'''Buffy:''' ...the strength and skill to hunt the vampires to stop the spread of their evil {{blah blah|blah}}. I've heard it, okay?

->'''Giles:''' Something's coming, something, something...something is, is gonna happen here. Soon!\\
'''Buffy:''' Gee, can you [[VaguenessIsComing vague that up for me]]?

->''You're standing at the mouth of Hell. And it's about to open.''

->'''Buffy:''' {{Who are you}}?\\
'''Angel:''' Let's just say...[[MysteriousProtector I'm a friend]].\\
'''Buffy:''' Yeah, well, maybe I don't need a friend.\\
'''Angel:''' I didn't say I was ''yours''.

->[holding a skimpy black dress in front of herself] ''"Hi, I'm an enormous slut!"'' [holds a blue floral dress in front of herself] ''"Hello, would you like a copy of ''The Watchtower''?"'' [sighs] ''I used to be so good at this.''

->'''Joyce:''' Are you going out tonight?\\
'''Buffy:''' Yeah, I'm going to a club.\\
'''Joyce:''' Oh. Will there be boys there?\\
'''Buffy:''' No, Mom. [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a nun club]].

->'''Buffy:''' From now on, I'm only going to hang out with the living--[[LastSecondWordSwap I mean, lively]]...people.\\
'''Joyce:''' Okay. You have fun.

->'''Willow:''' I thought Xander was going to show up.\\
'''Buffy:''' Oh, are you guys going out?\\
'''Willow:''' No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.\\
'''Buffy:''' How come?\\
'''Willow:''' He stole my Barbie. ''[{{beat}}]'' Oh, we were five.

->'''Willow:''' I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.\\
'''Buffy:''' You really ''haven't'' been dating lately.

->'''Giles:''' A vampire appears to be completely normal, until the feed is upon them. Only then do they reveal their true demonic visage.\\
'''Buffy:''' You're like [[MrExposition a textbook with arms]]. I ''know'' this.

->''Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like [=DeBarge=].''
-->--'''Buffy''' ''[to Vampire]''

-->[-Visit unabridged version [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS1E1WelcomeToTheHellmouth HERE]].-]