->''Who holds back the electric car?\\
Who makes [[Film/PoliceAcademy Steve Guttenberg]] a star?\\
We do, we do!\\
Who robs cavefish of their sight?\\
Who rigs every Oscar night?\\
We do, we do!''
-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZI_aEalijE Stonecutters Song]]''' from ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E12HomerTheGreat "Homer The Great"]]

->''No one votes for ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}
-->-- '''ForbiddenBroadway''', to the tune of "No One Mourns The Wicked"

->...And remember, people, it's not whether you win or lose -- because we are ''all'' going to lose in every possible category.
-->--'''''Series/NewsRadio''''', "Awards Show"

->'''Casey''': Now, is it your belief that Elvis Costello isn't cool?\\
'''Dan''': No, it's my belief that [[PopCultureIsolation Grammy voters aren't cool.]]
-->-- ''Series/SportsNight''

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!!!Creators
->Welcome to the AcademyAwards. Or as it's known in my house, [[BitingTheHandHumor Passover]].
-->--'''Creator/BobHope''', hosting the 1968 Oscars

->I'm up here with mixed feelings. I've been critical of the Academy, and for reason....I refuse to believe that I "beat" Jack Lemmon, that I "beat" Creator/AlPacino, that I "beat" Creator/PeterSellers. I refuse to believe that Robert Duvall "''lost''".
-->--'''Creator/DustinHoffman''', Best Actor Award speech, 52nd Annual Academy Awards (1980)

->Sandra Bullock won for ''Film/TheBlindSide'' and Al Pacino lost for both ''[[Film/TheGodfather Godfather]]'' movies.
-->--'''Creator/AaronSorkin'''

->1989 Grammy award LOSERS
--> -- The packaging of some pressings of ''[[Music/{{Metallica}} ...And Justice for All]]''

->We'd like to thank Music/JethroTull for not putting out an album this year.
-->-- '''[[Music/{{Metallica}} Lars Ulrich]]''', accepting an actual Grammy in 1990.

->And the winner is...me. I have never received nuthin'. Y'all ain't never given me no Grammy. And I have been singin' for ''years''! I am [[WroteTheBook the architect of rock n' roll]], you ain't never given me nuthin'! And I ''am'' the originator, and I still say '''''WOOOOOO!!'''''\\
''(receives standing ovation)''\\
And the winner is...still me.
-->--'''LittleRichard''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ-qRSsmg10 presents]] the 1988 Grammy for Best New Artist

->Yo, [[Music/TaylorSwift Taylor]], I'm really happy for you, [[MemeticMutation I'mma let you finish]], but [[{{Music/Beyonce}} Beyoncé]] had one of the best videos of all time! OF ALL TIIIIIIME!
-->--'''Music/KanyeWest''', ''2009 MTV Video Music Awards''

->It was crazy. We saw our audience get bigger and bigger, and then come the SAG awards, the Emmy Awards, the Golden Globes—nothing. We were like, 'Well, what the fuck is going on?' And David Simon, he was so cool. He was like 'Fuck the awards, I’m not about that. [[DoingItForTheArt I’m about telling a good story]].' He was on interviews, like, 'We don’t need that.' And some of us, in the back of our heads, were like, 'Yo, stop sayin’ '''[[StopHelpingMe we!]]'''[='=]
--> -- '''Andre Royo''' on the Emmy snubs inflicted on ''Series/TheWire''

!!!Others
->Once upon a time, the highest American distinction that could befall fifty-two men and women in a given year was to have one's face on the cover of ''Time'' magazine. Even [[WHAuden Auden]] was thrilled when he heard that he was the subject of a cover story, and deeply hurt when it was cancelled because the managing editor, nodding beneath his flat rock, had been told that [[HeteronormativeCrusader Auden was a fag]] and no fag could ever be so honored. This changed in time, but too late for Auden.
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->Someday, Creator/StevenSpielberg will win his Oscar. This year he was rebuked and snubbed, and so Hollywood will provide the happy ending and give him an Oscar two or three years from now, and people will explain that it is 'really' for ''The Color Purple.'' That's the way the Oscar game has always been played.
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Film/TheColorPurple''

->For those of you who are keeping score at home, I just want to make something very clear: Creator/MartinScorsese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, '''one'''.[[note]][[ThrowTheDogABone Scorsese would win the following year for]] ''Film/TheDeparted''[[/note]]
-->-- '''JonStewart''', while hosting the 2006 Academy Awards

->In any correctly balanced world, [[Creator/KirstenDunst (Kirsten) Dunst]] would stride away with the Oscar while throwing up her arms like a {{Maury}} guest in a 'Whut? Whut? Ya’ll know I’m all that…' but [[Film/TheIronLady Streep did Thatcher]], so that’s probably not happening.
-->--'''Stuart Millard''' [[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/my-top-20-movies-of-2011-the-list-part-2/ on]] ''{{Film/Melancholia}}''

->Julianne is apparently the frontrunner for the Best Actress Oscar for ''Film/StillAlice'', but I’m not about to get my hopes up. Julianne should’ve won for ''{{Film/Safe}}'' and I screamed [='=]''ROBBED!''[='=] when she wasn’t even nominated. Julianne should’ve won for ''Film/BoogieNights'' and I screamed [='=]''ROBBED!''[='=] when she didn’t win. Julianne should’ve won for ''{{Film/Magnolia}}'' and I still have scars on my tonsils from the sores I got while screaming [='=]''ROBBED! ROBBED! CALL THE POLICE!''[='=] after she was not nominated. Her 'I sucked other men’s cocks' scene was a revelation. So I’m already spraying WD-40 down my throat, because I fully expect to scream [='=]''ROBBED!''[='=] again next year when she loses to Creator/JenniferAniston who will win [[HollywoodHomely for not wearing makeup.]]
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/11/13/open-post-hosted-by-ginger-goddess-julianne-moore/ Michael K.]]''' on "Ginger Goddess Creator/JulianneMoore"

->DEVASTATING! IN TEARS! Someone is really crying about the fucking Oscar nominations! Now, I am a white dude (this may shock you), and so I am the supposed beneficiary of all this white-male empty-award-show privilege. (Yay, me!) In fact, I'm disappointed ''{{Film/Snowpiercer}}'' didn't get nominated for anything, because that movie is literally white all over...These awards are deeply meaningless. The only reason people in Hollywood give a shit about them is because a) money and b) everyone wants to puff up each other's resume, which means over-inflating the value of an award so that all your colleagues and all the LITTLE PEOPLE you work with (FX artists, costumers, etc.) get their little moment of recognition. Oh, how they crave ''recognition''. As if the sound-effects industry would wither and die if they didn't hand out one forgettable award on national TV every March.\\\
If you're relying on the Oscars to be an accurate barometer of progress—hell, if you're just hoping they dish out awards to movies that aren't fucking terrible—you better be ready for [[LowestCommonDenominator a lot of disappointment in life.]]
-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/oscar-nominations-won-t-solve-a-fucking-thing-1679719763 Drew Magary]]''', "Oscar Nominations Won't Solve a Fucking Thing"

->The Hollywood Walk of Fame is an iconic symbol of entertainment history. Of course, like any other hall of fame, it's also a total sham...would you believe the BackstreetBoys have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Sure you would; they sold a shit-ton of records and had a huge impact on the direction of popular radio in their day. You know who doesn't have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? That's right, Music/{{NSYNC}}. That's like only giving Pepsi a star on the soda walk of fame. This imbalance alone is enough to completely destroy any facade of credibility the Hollywood Walk of Fame could ever hope to keep up.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-b.s.-achievements-people-need-to-stop-taking-seriously/ "5 B.S. 'Achievements' People Need to Stop Taking Seriously"]]

->So, the [[GrammyAward Grammy]]s are a joke. They've always been a joke. Me being so obvious as to point out that the Grammys are joke makes ''[[CaptainObvious me]]'' kind of a joke. No one on earth sees a Grammy as ''any'' indicator of quality... And nowhere does the Grammys seem to get it wrong more often than the '[[DeweyDefeatsTruman Best New Artist]]' Grammy, which all to often seems to go to flameouts, flash-in-the-pans, and all-around footnotes in music history. It's the MaddenCurse of music.
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''' on Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis"

->When the rumor made its rounds earlier this year that Wrestling/DanielBryan would be facing {{Wrestling/Sheamus}} yet again at Wrestlemania, a lot of people on the web freaked out about Bryan once again being pushed out of the main event picture by a {{WWE}} that had lost touch with its fans. They shouldn’t have, though. Sheamus-Bryan 1 got [[LetsYouAndHimFight turned into a battle royal]], and the sequel [[SquashMatch got cut down to 18 seconds]]. What more poetic finale could there be to [[RuleOfThree the Sheamus-Bryan Wrestlemania trilogy]] than to have the third match cancelled [[ExecutiveVeto before it even got booked?]] And for once, you didn’t have to pay fifty-five bucks to not see it.
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/18-seconds/ "Sheamus Vs. Daniel Bryan - How long should this world title last? LOL, I'll pretend you said 18 seconds"]]

->Starring [...] and [[Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio Leonardo [=NoOscaro=]]].
-->--'''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''' on ''Film/TheWolfOfWallStreet''
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