->''Oh my god, Stan has no friends and he doesn't even realize it. He's like America: The Guy!''
->-- '''Roger'''

->''For the second time my life has been saved by hip hop. [[NoodleIncident But that's another story.]]''
->-- '''Stan Smith''', ''Finances With Wolves''

->''Ugh, [[OutOfCharacterMoment this speech is completely out of character for Stan]]. [[ExecutiveMeddling The network insisted]] [[EnforcedTrope that]] [[TheProtagonist Stan]] "learn a lesson" so we had to add this sappy ending. It's... It's very disappointing.''
->-- '''Klaus''', ''Bullocks to Stan''

->'''Stan:''' Francine, we can’t do this in the house of the Lord. This is wrong.
->'''Francine:''' Then I’ve been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking.
->'''Stan:''' Damn your clumsy Christmas-sex metaphors! [Amorously grabs Francine]
->-- ''[[Recap/AmericanDadS6E9RapturesDelight Rapture's Delight]]''

->"Hey, all I was trying to do was keep my country and my family safe!"
->-- '''Stan Smith''', ''Homeland Insecurity''

->"...And, just like that I'm gay."
->--'''Klaus''', after being inadvertently flashed by an obese, ugly woman.

-> '''Michelle:''' Actually, you get smaller and cuter every time you win a case.
-> '''Stan:''' Oh my god, we're doomed! Look at him, he's cuter than a puppy and a kitten trying to get in the same slipper!
->--Stan, getting a trial in heaven.

->'''Stan:''' That man just rode me like an animal for three hours. Do you have any idea how that feels?
->'''Haley:''' (raises an eyebrow)
->'''Stan:''' And now I'm not hungry anymore.

->"Some say that was the end of Klaus' story. Some say it was just the beginning. No one ever says it was the middle."
->--A Narrator, after Klaus enters a castle in a hotel fish tank.

->'''Roger:''' Best buddies?! Can I be your best buddy?
->'''Stan:''' How do I hang an air freshener on this? 'You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you.' ''Ahhhh,'' mountain pine."

->'''Stan:''' Well, that's our show! If you want to know more about torture, follow an immigrant into your local police station.
----