->'''Question:''' ''What is the first thing an arts major asks when he leaves university?''\\
'''Answer:''' ''Would you like fries with that?''
-->-- The current incarnation of a very, very, ''very'' old joke.

->''"Why anyone who wants a job would study [[{{Literature}} Lit]]'s a mystery''\\
''Unless their only other choice were something like Art History.''\\
''A BA in Communications guarantees that you'll achieve''\\
''A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave."''
-->-- ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'' #1052, "[[http://xkcd.com/1052/ Every Major's Terrible]]"

->''"I paid 120,000 dollars so a teacher could tell me to read Creator/JaneAusten, only'' '''''then I didn't!'''''
-->-- '''Creator/JohnMulaney'''

->There's actually an ongoing rumor that you can automatically graduate and earn your degree if you become sufficiently fluent in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. Imagine all the tables you could wait with those skills, huh?
-->-- '''Rory Gilmore''' on [[UsefulNotes/IvyLeague Yale]], ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', "[[Recap/GilmoreGirlsS05E10 But Not As Cute As Pushkin]]"

->''"They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,''\\
''But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it."''
-->-- Ibid.

->'''Princeton:''' ''What do you do\\
With a B.A. in English?\\
What is my life going to be?\\
Four years of college\\
And plenty of knowledge\\
Have earned me this useless degree.''
-->-- ''Theatre/AvenueQ''

->''"Had anyone at my reunion complained about the complacency of today’s students or bragged about how they got through school without taking on staggering debt, I could have reminded them that the class of [[TheEighties ’84]] was the last to have a higher percentage of grants than loans. Today’s imbalance leads too many students to buy the lie that the humanities are exclusively for rich kids. They worry that those in the 99 percent studying Creator/{{Aristotle}} or Creator/VirginiaWoolf are destined for permanent residency in their parents’ basements and, if they are lucky, positions as baristas."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.salon.com/2014/07/05/ronald_reagan_stuck_it_to_millennials_a_college_debt_history_lesson_no_one_tells/ Peter Lunefeld]]''', ''Salon''

->''"Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, [[RomanticismVersusEnlightenment artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture]], and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. [[ChekhovsSkill But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac.]] It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, [[AvertedTrope I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.]] Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later."''
-->-- '''Creator/SteveJobs''', [[http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html Stanford Commencement Speech (2005)]]

->''"A tous ceux qui, nourris de grec et de latin, sont morts de faim, je dédie ce livre."''[[labelnote:Trans.]]"To those who, fed on Greek and Latin, died of hunger, I dedicate this book."[[/labelnote]]
-->-- '''Creator/JulesValles''', ''The Student''

->''"[[SarcasmMode Thank goodness]] I majored in French philosophy."''
-->-- '''A school janitor''', ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents''

->''"What a luxury."''
-->-- '''UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher''', to a student studying Norse literature.

->''"People call me a stupid bum. I have a degree in art history!"''
-->-- '''A homeless aug''', ''VideoGame/DeusExMankindDivided''

->'''Scientist:''' I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!\\
'''Civil Defense Vehicle:''' You've got a degree in baloney!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->'''Girl''': Well, right now I'm majoring in Philosophy and Classical Music.\\
'''Peggy''': Oh, how nice for you. Well, that'll get you a job in a factory when you get out of college.\\
'''Girl''': [giggles] That's what my mom says, too.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill''

->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Oswald manipulated ''my'' records as well.\\
'''Alfred:''' It would appear your degree was in... sociology?
-->-- ''VideoGame/BatmanTheTelltaleSeries''

->'''Boomstick:''' But before Jack could put his training to good use, Aku pulled a bitch move and zapped him hundreds of years into the future.\\
'''Wiz:''' What a waste. Just like when you spend four sleepless years struggling through college, and then find out too late that nobody cares about your English major!\\
'''Boomstick:''' I thought you graduated from the school of [[MadScientist evil science]] or something.\\
'''Wiz:''' Well, you still have to pick a major...
-->-- ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'', "WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack vs. Anime/AfroSamurai"

->''I'll say this: going to college and studying film is easily the single biggest regret of my life, just above not buying those magic beans. Because there's nothing film school teaches you that you can't learn online for free. Even worse: I spent my years in college studying hard, working on my portfolio, and putting in effort in my classes like the dumb chump I am when I should have been seeking out networking opportunities, and since I went to school in Indiana there were pretty much zero of those. It's too bad my degrees aren't refundable -- I'd even take store credit and exchange them for more useful degrees, like a Bachelor's of Platypus Milking or an Associate's in Ghost Therapy.''
-->--'''[[https://www.cracked.com/article_28485_6-ways-breaking-into-hollywood-total-nightmare.html 6 Ways Breaking into Hollywood Is A Total Nightmare]]''', ''{{Website/Cracked}}''

->''"If they had told me to study '''English literature''', THAT I could have understood. That's my field. But no, they told me to study the '''English language'''. [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal Utterly, Unreasonably, Unjustly Unbelievable]]! Only the other day, I was told to send a report about my first year here. I tendered a blank piece of paper."''
-->--'''Soseki Natsume''', ''VisualNovel/TheGreatAceAttorney''
----