->''Now hear me out, Jonathan!''

''The Dismal Jesters'' was a weekly podcast starring [[https://twitter.com/JimSterling Jim Sterling]], [[https://twitter.com/TronKnotts Jonathan Holmes]], and [[https://twitter.com/ConradZimmerman Conrad Zimmerman]].

The show spun off of [[http://destructoid.libsyn.com Podtoid]], the official podcast of the video game website [[http://www.destructoid.com Destructoid]], which was hosted by the trio from 2011-2013. Although its subtitle was "Destructoid Video Game Podcast", the show gained a reputation for having [[NonIndicativeName jack-all to do with video games]], instead focusing on the offbeat personas of the crew. When Jim left Destructoid in November 2013, ''The Dismal Jesters'' was created so the ball could keep rolling.

The format of the show is, essentially, completely undefined; the hosts crack jokes about whatever's on their mind, though VideoGames are a frequent topic (all three men being professional games journalists) and Jim's extremely twisted sense of humor often sends the discussion in really weird directions.

The podcast ran for 30 episodes[[note]]29 regular episodes and one movie commentary special[[/note]], before Jonathan had to leave. Jim and Conrad, along with [[https://twitter.com/caitbit Caitlin Cooke]], started a new podcast a couple of months later entitled [[http://fistsharkmarketing.libsyn.com FistShark Marketing]].

The show can be found on iTunes or in an archive located [[https://archive.org/details/TheDismalJesters here.]]

See also ''WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}}'', Jim's weekly video show.

!!This podcast contains examples of:

* AmbiguouslyBrown: Jonathan's never really mentioned his ethnic background, but he is indeed "brownish", leading to occasional remarks on it.
* TheArtifact: On occasion, Jim will become annoyed if the conversation turns toward video games, and try to avoid it by singing a random song or some such. This joke is a holdover from the ''Podtoid'' days, where he would do so in an attempt to avoid talking about video games for as long as possible, even though it was [[NonIndicativeName ostensibly]] a video game podcast. Since ''Dismal Jesters'' officially has no main subject, there's not as much humor in his attempts to avoid the topic, so he doesn't pull that gag nearly as often.
* BlatantLies: Jim claims that [[Music/NineInchNails Trent Reznor]] has his phone number and is always texting him weird, annoying messages.
* ButtMonkey: Poor Jonathan puts up with ''so'' much.
* {{Catchphrase}}: Jim's "Now hear me out, Jonathan!" and "Right?" whenever he's trying to persuade Jonathan to do something naughty. Jonathan frequently responds with "No! Why would I do that?"
* DeepSouth: Jim is English by birth, but he lives in Mississippi, so all the usual stereotypes get mocked every so often.
* FanCommunityNickname: Jim has suggested "Dickheads", or for especially dedicated fans, "Stupid Fucking Dickheads".
* LettersToTheEditor: The Jesters answer questions from their Twitter followers in the last portion of the episodes. They tend to take these more seriously and honestly than the rest of the show, though they'll still give sarcastic answers if the question ever calls for it.
* NiceGuy: Jonathan plays this role on the podcast, and is one in real life too. He works at a psychiatric hospital and is known for his friendly and welcoming demeanor.
* PornStache: Conrad's moustache is beloved 'round the world. Truly, it's a sight to behold.
* PsychopathicManchild: Jim's online persona is this, taken to the extreme. He's a nice guy in real life, mind you.
* TheQuietOne: Conrad is a bit less talkative than Jim or Jonathan, only speaking up if he has something especially funny or interesting to say.
* RealSongThemeTune: "Freakout" by Chainmale. They didn't get Chainmale's permission to use the song, so [[OnceAnEpisode each week]] at the end of the show, Jim thanks him "for not suing us."
* RunningGag: Many, some to the point where they're basically regular segments of the show:
** "Willem Dafoe Movie Pitches", ideas they've come up with for a movie that would star Willem Dafoe. Usually these ideas are completely insane, and Dafoe's hypothetical character is frequently a play on his over-the-top [[Film/SpiderManTrilogy Green Goblin]] persona. According to Jim, the gag is poking fun at how Dafoe seems willing to do absolutely ''anything'' in ''any'' movie, no matter how strange.
** The guys send a message to some company, asking them to sponsor the show. Their letters are always totally nuts, and it's clear that they're not actually expecting a response. Miraculously, every time they've sent a message, they've ''actually gotten a sponsorship!''[[note]]Not always the one they were after, though; their first pitch was to Monster energy drinks, but Jones Soda contacted them instead.[[/note]]
** Jonathan is forced to read a product description for a sex toy. Usually he reads them in a dry, bored manner.
** Jonathan's supposed alter ego (invented by Jim), "Freaky Constantina", who dances erotically to Usher's "Yeah" while wearing cut-off jeans and a mesh tank-top.
** Jim's obsession with actor Edward James Olmos. He's always coming up with new pitches for creepy TV shows that Olmos could star in, and has even said on a few occasions that he "can't stop thinking about him".
** The line "I'm don't ''really'' like [thing X], I'm just doing it for the power!", spoken in an impression of Francis Underwood from ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''.
* ZanyScheme: Jim's always coming up with new ways for Jonathan to torment, humiliate, or jail himself. He never goes through with them, though, thank god.