'''Basic Trope''': Dull erotica.
* '''[[IncrediblyLamePun Straight]]''': The sex scene between AliceAndBob is described as, "He put his hard sex in her soft sex and they had sex," and that's it.
* '''Exaggerated''': All sex scenes are described this way.
* '''Downplayed''': The sex scene goes along the lines "He looked at her passionately, she looked at him the same, and they started to make love" before skipping to a relevant point.
* '''Justified''': Sex ed.
* '''Inverted''': MillsAndBoonProse
* '''Subverted''': A SexyDiscretionShot is used.
* '''Double Subverted''': Another sex scene happens, which is described this way.
* '''Parodied''':
** Alice and Bob are ''literally'' shown assembling an IKEA product, and have [[AccidentalInnuendo orgasmic reactions]].
** The blandness is taken to ridiculous extremes and their dirty talk becomes BeigeProse, 'move your body against me faster' and 'I am feeling highly aroused'.
** They have blandly described sex in an actual IKEA store.
** Bob and Alice's sex life is so boring that [[ThePeepingTom Charlie]] thinks they're assembling IKEA furniture just because the narration of the scene is just that boring and then he falls asleep.
** Bob and Alice actually act as if they're assembling furniture. They display no pleasure, and are reading instructions from a manual.
* '''Zig Zagged''': The description is so bland they might be putting furniture together. And they are putting furniture together. Because their fetish is furniture assembly. But they're both incredibly bored with it and it's mechanical to them.
* '''Averted''': The sex scene is described reasonably and in detail.
* '''Enforced''':
** The writers didn't want to include a sex scene, but got [[ExecutiveMeddling overruled]].
** "We're running out of ways to appeal to the LowestCommonDenominator. Let's put in a sex scene and describe it as, 'They had sex'."
* '''Lampshaded''':
** "What's with all the erotica which is written as 'They had sex'?"
** "You know, I bet that felt a lot better than it could be described."
* '''Invoked''': The writer wants to show that Alice and Bob find the sex incredibly boring and passionless.
* '''Exploited''': Once Charlie discovers how bland Alice and Bob's sex life is, he introduces them to kinky sex to score a threesome.
* '''Defied''': Alice stops, says that she doesn't want the sex to be bland and boring, and puts on soft music and mood lighting.
* '''Discussed''': ???
* '''Conversed''': ???
* '''Deconstructed''': The dry description of the sex scene is actually what's going on in Alice's mind. She finds the act so dull and emotionally uninvolving that it amounts to nothing more than the physical action of "in, out, repeat."
* '''Reconstructed''': The dryness of the scene is an alien and/or robot describing to Alice what it thinks sex is like for humans. Then Alice talks to the alien so that it can understand the importance and emotional impact of sex to humans, and the alien learns more about humanity in a touching moment.
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%% Optional items, added after Conversed, at your discretion:
%%* '''Implied''': ???
%%* '''Plotted A Good Waste''': ???
%%* '''Played For Laughs''': ???
%%* '''Played For Drama''': ???