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[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/narm_4488.png]]
'''Dracula:'''

What is {{narm}}? A miserable little pile of would-be drama! But enough talk! Have at these ''Franchise/{{Castlevania}}'' examples!
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* Any time there is dialogue in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight''. Alucard's voice actor is surprisingly good, but the script makes one want to cry. The most infamous examples are Richter's "Die Monster! You don't belong in this world!" and Dracula's "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"
** ''VideoGame/IWannaBeTheGuy'' parodies this by making it even more narmful. It repeats the lines verbatim, but The Kid's squeaky high voice makes it even ''more'' hilarious. [[spoiler:[[EverythingTryingToKillYou Just watch out for that wineglass]].]]
--->What is a man? [[spoiler:wineglass kills you]] [[GameOver GAME OVER]], [[HaveANiceDeath PRESS 'R' TO TRY AGAIN]].
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrze-nKw9zQ Another parody]], by Kajmaster Kajet:
---> "What is a man? A miserable little pile of '''''BULL SHIT!''''' THAT'S WHAT IT IS! YA FUCKIN' ASS."
*** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAataZ9SH90 In an endeavor to affix elegance and further substance to this sizeable catalog of overwrought drama taken to comedic proportions, kindly allow me my fellow good gentlemen and respectable ladies to incorporate this high-brow parody written with the refinement and grandeur of the upper class elite of society.]]
** In the ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaTheDraculaXChronicles Dracula X Chronicles]]'' remake for the PSP, the above quotes were retranslated:
---> "Dracula, die now and leave this world! You'll never belong here!"
---> "Ha! Mankind. A cesspit of hatred and lies. Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!"
**** This dialogue is used at both the end of ''Dracula X Chronicles'' and the beginning of Symphony of the Night, which makes sense since the end of the former is the beginning of the latter.
** Go look up the faulty Youtube transcription. [[FunWithSubtitles We'll wait.]]
** The "What is a man?" line is a quotation from the French Philosopher Andre Malraux.
*** Its exclusion from the remake is almost made up for by "Belmont, son of Belmont" and the fact that [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35LhYi_B5Ok Annette KNOWS what Richter does to vampires]].
** And then there's this part:
--->"I was brought here by... ''heeyoomiiiiiinssss...'' who wished to pay ''me'' tribute."
** Even with the re-recording, there's quite a bit of Narm, particularly Richter's "[[ChewingTheScenery What have I DONE!?]]"
** ''Symphony'' also includes the scenes where a defeated Succubus is promised a FateWorseThanDeath by Alucard and lets out a final scream of terror/orgasmic moan that may even trump "What is a man?" for sheer [[{{Narm}} Narmfullness]].
** Though, above all else, how could anyone, whether actors or the people recording, avoid laughing hysterically at this... [[http://www.audioatrocities.com/games/castlevania-sotn/clip1.mp3 inspired performance]]?
** In the game, there is a "Librarian" from who you can buy items. His overly enthusiastic and cheesy thank you message for buying something, "Heh-heh-heh- '''THANK YOU'''!" is highly quotable.
*** "Young master, I cannot aid one who opposes the master."
* In ''VideoGame/{{Castlevania 64}}'', a nearly-functional jump shock is spoiled because the vampire in question must have jumped straight out of a solid oak table in the middle of the room to attack the player from the angle he does. To conceal this, in the next shot, the table ''vanishes''.
* Who could forget the dramatic line [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PrHEelh5oo "I'll kill you, AND THE NIGHT!"]] from ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaLamentOfInnocence''?
** [[Series/XPlay Adam Sessler]] commented on that line:
---> "He's going to kill an ''entire time of day''."
*** By "the night", he means the forces of darkness. But even with that context, it's still pretty ridiculous.
** Almost ALL the ''Lament'' dialogue is Narmtastic; but much like ''Symphony'', it's usually SoBadItsGood. The exception to the Narmfest is Mathias, but [[spoiler:he becomes ''Dracula'', and so his Narm-free days are short.]]
* Some of the Mistranslations and {{Engrish}} are funny enough on their own to be [[LevelBreaker level-breakers]] despite having no Story-line importance.
** The infamous Cthulhu/Malachi name switch. Even in subsequent games, ''Malachi'' (who is supposed to be [[Creator/HPLovecraft Cthulhu]]) kept the wrong name.
*** Though the Lovecraft estate can be rather litigious ... this was probably for the best.
** In ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaAriaOfSorrow Aria]]'', Lubicant should have been [[Literature/TheDivineComedy Rubicante]], and Curly should have been Kali. Lubicant tends to suffer major [[FreudWasRight confusion with the word Lubricant]].
** During ''Symphony of the Night'''s ending, Alucard loses about 10,000 points when he says the word "love." It's all the way at the end, so he gets away with it:
-->Dracula: H... how... how, how is it I've been so defeated?
-->Alucard: You have been doomed ever since you lost the ability to love.
** "Ah... sarcasm. "For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the world and loses his own soul?" [[Literature/TheBible Matthew 16:26]], I believe."
* ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaDawnOfSorrow Dawn Of Sorrow]]'' has a player-induced one. One of the bad guys, Dmitri, has the ability to copy any attack used on him and will keep using that attack. The Apprentice Witch bullet soul shoots out a purple cat that will give a high-pitched meow. During the battle, dramatic rock like music plays. Thus, it is possible for the entire battle to consist of two people throwing small purple cats at each other to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzaqS19Sp68 epic battle music]], while the player is jumping and firing... cats.
** Or the Cave Troll soul during that fight. Seriously, you and Dmitri can have a licking fight.
** Bonus points for the Cave Troll since he dramatically extends his arm to a length of about double the attack's range.
* The PSP tactical RPG ''VideoGame/JeanneDArc'' features "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" ''verbatim'' when [[spoiler:Jeanne and her cohorts storm [[BigBad Gilvaroth]]'s throne room]]. It ruined the dramatic entrance with unstoppable laughter.
* Hector's [[OhCrap 'oh shit' moment]] in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaCurseOfDarkness'' just after the second brawl with Isaac skirts the border of Narm... [[spoiler:until he thuds onto his knees and clutches at his head like Cloud Strife experiencing a migraine.]] Then it leaps gleefully headfirst into Narmsville. That doesn't destroy the moment, though -- this ''is'' Castlevania we're talking about.
** Any dialogue between those two is a FoeYay fueled LargeHam competition anyhow.
*** Isaac usually wins these. Probably because Hector's distracted by [[spoiler:those frigging pants.]]
**** Heck, the dialogue in general for ''Curse of Darkness'' can get like this, as it tries to sound Shakespearean.
** They really should've put in more voice acting for Hector during gameplay. [[MostAnnoyingSound "Go!... Go!... Go!... Go!..."]] can get a little bit annoying.
* ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaOrderOfEcclesia:'' The '''''SHOOOAR''''' war/deathcries of Brachyura and Gravedorcus. It sounds specifically like a person trying to ''sound'' like a monster and failing hilariously.
*** This bit of hilarity is absent if you switch to the Japanese voices, where the thing at least actually sounds monstrous. Really makes you wonder why they bothered changing it.
** [[spoiler:Barlowe]] telling Shanoa, "Now die, and YIELD [DOMINUS] TO ME!" lost some of its drama with the CAPSLOCK shouting, and more when Dominus is bracketed.
** [[SpamAttack DIE SHANOA!]]
*** HOW DARE YOU!
*** [[spoiler:[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN FORGETTING!]]]]
*** [[spoiler:WHO RAISED YOU!]]
*** [[spoiler:YOU!]]
*** [[spoiler:STUPID DISCIPLE!]]
** Speaking of [[spoiler:Barlowe]], when he uses his electric attack, as he flies around he giggles, sounding like a little kid going down a slide.
** Shanoa saying "I am the morning sun, come to vanquish this horrible night!" -- a callback to a poorly written line in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest'', while preparing to [[spoiler:storm Dracula's castle]].
** And who could forget the fight against Rusalka? '''RAAAAAGE BE WILD!!!!'''
* Dracula is twice as big as his own coffin when Camilla wakes him up at the beginning of ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaCircleOfTheMoon Circle of the Moon]]''.
* Brauner's death cry in ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaPortraitOfRuin Portrait of Ruin]]'': "(SCREAMS)"
** [[LargeHam Brauner in general.]]
* Film/{{Shaft}}. There is an evil priest named ''Shaft''. More specifically, a ''dark-skinned'' evil priest named ''Shaft''. It is physically impossible to see or think of him without thinking of {{blaxploitation}}.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZY8TGDCtXU This music]] is just... way, way, ''way'' too chipper and upbeat for a ''Castlevania'' game. The first six seconds actually sound pretty atmospheric and chilling, but after that, well... it sounds like the sort of thing you might hear in a half-assed Halloween level from a CareBears or MyLittlePony game. No, ''really''. And keep in mind that this is the BGM for ''the penultimate area of the game''. The same game that "Scarlet Battle Soul" hails from. How did they manage to forget that Castlevania music should be ''spooky''?
*** More on that track, it's actually a redone tune from the arcade game ''Haunted Castle'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZVqXlx38VY Clock Tower's Beat]].
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOpH5CJozug&feature=related This track.]] It sounds like something that should be played at a rec center.
** The first 10 seconds or so of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XXYDzl7T5w Lament to the Master]] sound like something out of ''[[VideoGame/MarioKart Super Mario Kart]]''. Thus it can be difficult to take seriously.
* Dracula's OneWingedAngel form in the original ''Castlevania'', a.k.a. the Cookie Monster. Fortunately, updates to this form in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaChronicles'' and ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaRondoOfBlood'' look a lot more menacing.
* In the English translation of ''Super Castlevania IV'', the DualBoss[=es=] were named Paula Abghoul and Fred Askare.
** That's more of Konami USA's patented crappy instruction manual humor. The manuals for all their NES games and a few SNES ones were loaded with this sort of stuff.
* ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaJudgment''
%% **[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SyYIo03X0E gives us this little scene]].
** Opinions are split regarding whether Death's opening quote, "If you wish for death, here I am", qualifies as this or a BadassBoast.
* ''Symphony of the Night''[='=]s Inverted Castle could've benefitted greatly from extra music tracks. Instead, we get to hear [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dknftT3LjX4 Finale Toccata]] in most of the castle. The track quickly loses its impact when you hear it for most of the Inverted Castle, especially when it has to stop and restart when you go to another area.
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