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What is {{narm}}? A miserable little pile of would-be drama! But enough talk! Have at these ''Franchise/{{Castlevania}}'' examples!

* Any time there is dialogue in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight''. Alucard's voice actor is surprisingly good, but the script makes one want to cry. The most infamous examples are Richter's "Die Monster! You don't belong in this world!" and Dracula's "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"
** ''VideoGame/IWannaBeTheGuy'' parodies this by making it even more narmful. It repeats the lines verbatim, but The Kid's squeaky high voice makes it even ''more'' hilarious. [[spoiler:[[EverythingTryingToKillYou Just watch out for that wineglass]].]]
--->What is a man? [[spoiler:wineglass kills you]] [[GameOver GAME OVER]], [[HaveANiceDeath PRESS 'R' TO TRY AGAIN]].
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrze-nKw9zQ Another parody]], by Kajmaster Kajet:
---> "What is a man? A miserable little pile of '''''BULL SHIT!''''' THAT'S WHAT IT IS! YA FUCKIN' ASS."
*** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAataZ9SH90 In an endeavor to affix elegance and further substance to this sizeable catalog of overwrought drama taken to comedic proportions, kindly allow me my fellow good gentlemen and respectable ladies to incorporate this high-brow parody written with the refinement and grandeur of the upper class elite of society.]]
** In the ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaTheDraculaXChronicles Dracula X Chronicles]]'' remake for the PSP, the above quotes were retranslated:
---> "Dracula, die now and leave this world! You'll never belong here!"
---> "Ha! Mankind. A cesspit of hatred and lies. Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!"
*** This dialogue is used at both the end of ''Dracula X Chronicles'' and the beginning of Symphony of the Night, which makes sense since the end of the former is the beginning of the latter.
** The "What is a man?" line is a quotation from the French Philosopher Andre Malraux.
*** Its exclusion from the remake is almost made up for by "Belmont, son of Belmont" and the fact that [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35LhYi_B5Ok Annette KNOWS what Richter does to vampires]].
** And then there's this part:
--->"I was brought here by... ''heeyoomiiiiiinssss...'' who wished to pay ''me'' tribute."
** Even with the re-recording, there's quite a bit of Narm, particularly Richter's "[[ChewingTheScenery What have I DONE!?]]"
** ''Symphony'' also includes the scenes where a defeated Succubus is promised a FateWorseThanDeath by Alucard and lets out a final scream of terror/orgasmic moan that may even trump "What is a man?" for sheer [[{{Narm}} Narmfullness]].
** Though, above all else, how could anyone, whether actors or the people recording, avoid laughing hysterically at this... [[http://www.audioatrocities.com/games/castlevania-sotn/clip1.mp3 inspired performance]]?
** In the game, there is a "Librarian" from who you can buy items. His overly enthusiastic and cheesy thank you message for buying something, "Heh-heh-heh- '''THANK YOU'''!" is highly quotable.
*** [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "Young master, I cannot aid one who opposes the master."]]
* In ''VideoGame/{{Castlevania 64}}'', a nearly-functional [[JumpScare jump scare]] is spoiled because the vampire in question must have jumped straight out of a solid oak table in the middle of the room to attack the player from the angle he does. To conceal this, in the next shot, the table ''vanishes''.
** The fact that there are skeletons on motorcycles in a game that takes place in the 19th century is kind of amazing.
* Who could forget the dramatic line [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PrHEelh5oo "I'll kill you, AND THE NIGHT!"]] from ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaLamentOfInnocence''?
** [[Series/XPlay Adam Sessler]] commented on that line:
---> "He's going to kill an ''entire time of day''."
** Almost ALL the ''Lament'' dialogue is Narmtastic; but much like ''Symphony'', it's usually SoBadItsGood. The exception to the Narmfest is Mathias, but [[spoiler:he becomes ''Dracula'', and so his Narm-free days are short]].
* Some of the Mistranslations and {{Engrish}} are funny enough on their own to be [[LevelBreaker level-breakers]] despite having no storyline importance.
** The infamous Cthulhu/Malachi name switch. Even in subsequent games, ''Malachi'' (who is supposed to be [[Creator/HPLovecraft Cthulhu]]) kept the wrong name.
*** Though the Lovecraft estate can be rather litigious... this was probably for the best.
** In ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaAriaOfSorrow Aria]]'', Lubicant should have been [[Literature/TheDivineComedy Rubicante]], and Curly should have been Kali. Lubicant tends to suffer major [[FreudWasRight confusion with the word Lubricant]].
** ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaOrderOfEcclesia Order of Ecclesia]]'''s item to do a DoubleJump, instead of being called Leap Stone like it was in ''Symphony of the Night'', is called Ordinary Rock.
** During ''Symphony of the Night'''s ending, Alucard loses about 10,000 points when he says the word "love." It's all the way at the end, so he gets away with it:
-->'''Dracula:''' H... how... how, how is it I've been so defeated?
-->'''Alucard:''' You have been doomed ever since you lost the ability to love.
** "Ah... sarcasm. "For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the world and loses his own soul?" [[Literature/TheBible Matthew 16:26]], I believe."
* ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaDawnOfSorrow Dawn Of Sorrow]]'' has a player-induced one. One of the bad guys, Dmitri, has the ability to [[PowerCopying copy any attack used on him]] and will keep using that attack. The Apprentice Witch bullet soul shoots out a purple cat that will give a high-pitched meow. During the battle, dramatic rock like music plays. Thus, it is possible for the entire battle to consist of two people throwing small purple cats at each other to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzaqS19Sp68 epic battle music.]]
** Or the Cave Troll soul during that fight. Seriously, you and Dmitri can have a licking fight.
** Bonus points for the Cave Troll since he dramatically extends his arm to a length of about double the attack's range.
* The PSP tactical RPG ''VideoGame/JeanneDArc'' features "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" ''verbatim'' when [[spoiler:Jeanne and her cohorts storm [[BigBad Gilvaroth]]'s throne room]]. It ruined the dramatic entrance with unstoppable laughter.
* Hector's [[OhCrap 'oh shit' moment]] in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaCurseOfDarkness'' just after the second brawl with Isaac skirts the border of Narm... [[spoiler:until he thuds onto his knees and clutches at his head like Cloud Strife experiencing a migraine]]. Then it leaps gleefully headfirst into Narmsville. That doesn't destroy the moment, though -- this ''is'' Castlevania we're talking about.
** Any dialogue between those two is a FoeYay-fueled LargeHam competition anyhow.
*** Isaac usually wins these. Probably because Hector's distracted by [[spoiler:those frigging pants]]. Heck, the dialogue in general for ''Curse of Darkness'' can get like this, as it tries to sound Shakespearean.
** They really should've put in more voice acting for Hector during gameplay. [[MostAnnoyingSound "Go!... Go!... Go!... Go!..."]] can get a little bit annoying.
* ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaOrderOfEcclesia:'' The '''''SHOOOAR''''' war/deathcries of Brachyura and Gravedorcus. It sounds specifically like a person trying to ''sound'' like a monster and failing hilariously.
** [[spoiler:Barlowe]] telling Shanoa, "Now die, and YIELD [DOMINUS] TO ME!" lost some of its drama with the CAPSLOCK shouting, and more when Dominus is bracketed.
** [[SpamAttack DIE SHANOA!]]
*** [[spoiler:[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EVEN FORGETTING!]]]]
*** [[spoiler:WHO RAISED YOU!]]
*** [[spoiler:YOU!]]
*** [[spoiler:STUPID DISCIPLE!]]
** When he uses his electric attack, as he flies around, he giggles, sounding like a little kid going down a slide.
** Shanoa saying "I am the morning sun, come to vanquish this horrible night!" -- a callback to a poorly written line in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest'', while preparing to [[spoiler:storm Dracula's castle]].
** And who could forget the fight against Rusalka? '''RAAAAAGE BE WILD!!!!'''
* Dracula is twice as big as his own coffin when Camilla wakes him up at the beginning of ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaCircleOfTheMoon Circle of the Moon]]''.
* Brauner's death cry in ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaPortraitOfRuin Portrait of Ruin]]'': "(SCREAMS)"
** [[LargeHam Brauner in general.]]
* Film/{{Shaft}}. There is an evil priest named ''Shaft''. More specifically, a ''dark-skinned'' evil priest named ''Shaft''. It is physically impossible to see or think of him without thinking of {{blaxploitation}}.
* After going on a dark and epic journey to defeat Dracula, [=SotN=] ends with [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eLsgLtTd4Go a song that could very have well been a collaboration by Celine Dion and Kenny G.]] [[NarmCharm Cheesy]] and [[SoBadItsGood utterly cringe-inducing]] at its finest. Let's face it, after slogging through a demonic castle (with awesome music to boot!), you weren't expecting the game to close with an ''extremely'' 90's song that could fit in any Disney movie.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZY8TGDCtXU This music]] is just... way, way, ''way'' too chipper and upbeat for a ''Castlevania'' game. It's actually a redone tune from the arcade game ''Haunted Castle'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZVqXlx38VY Clock Tower's Beat]], but still.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOpH5CJozug&feature=related This track.]] It sounds like something that should be played at a rec center.
** The first 10 seconds or so of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XXYDzl7T5w Lament to the Master]], awesome as the song is, sound like something out of ''[[VideoGame/MarioKart Super Mario Kart]]''. Thus it can be difficult to take seriously.
* Dracula's OneWingedAngel form in the original ''Castlevania'', a.k.a. the Cookie Monster. Fortunately, updates to this form in ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaChronicles'' and ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaRondoOfBlood'' look a lot more menacing.
* In the English translation of ''Super Castlevania IV'', the DualBoss[=es=] were named Paula Abghoul and Fred Askare. Really, every single instruction manual for the NES and SNES games was brimming with things like that. Apparently, the copywriters at Konami USA vastly overestimated their sense of humor, and they tossed out whatever canon Konami had come up and replaced it with some of the most painfully, wretchedly terrible jokes and puns you'll ever see. The result is basically reverse Narm; it's trying to be funny, but fails ''so'' hard that it makes the reader a little sad inside. And no, Konami's other properties like ''VideoGame/{{Contra}}'' and ''VideoGame/MetalGear'' didn't escape this treatment, either.
* ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaJudgment''
%% **[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SyYIo03X0E gives us this little scene]].
** Opinions are split regarding whether Death's opening quote, "If you wish for death, here I am", qualifies as this or a BadassBoast.
* ''Symphony of the Night''[='=]s Inverted Castle could've benefited greatly from extra music tracks. Instead, we get to hear [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dknftT3LjX4 Finale Toccata]] in most of the castle. The track quickly loses its impact when you hear it for most of the Inverted Castle, especially when it has to stop and restart when you go to another area.
* In ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaChronicles'', when you throw the Cross, [[{{Fartillery}} the sound it makes]] [[ToiletHumour is flat-out hilarious]].
* Hey, want to know what the single most narmfully-titled song in the entire ''Castlevania'' series is? Behold [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUARZuhOsH0 "You Goddamned Bathead"]], from the second phase of the boss fight with Dracula in ''Castlevania Chronicles''. Even Hardcore Gaming 101's ''Castlevania'' book calls it amusingly-titled. This may only be narmful in hindsight because ''Chronicles'' came out years before ''ComicBook/AllStarBatmanAndRobinTheBoyWonder'' and its own intensely quotable narm:
-->'''Batman:''' What, are you, ''dense''? Are you ''retarded'' or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamned Batman.
* The Pachislot and pachinko games were always divisive at best, or a middle finger at worst for western fans; however, the newly announced Pachinko game based on Rondo of Blood is the worst offender, from the gratuitous fanservice, to the laughable subtitle Erotic Violence. It's just too delicious to not laugh about it.
* In the MSX entry, ''Vampire Killer'', we see Dracula throwing fireballs by opening his cape in a manner that can best be described as him flashing Simon.