->''"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."''
-->-- '''Johnny Carson'''

StockPhrase uttered by a character who is about to do something potentially nasty to someone. They tell their victim that what they are about to do won't hurt at all. This often turns out to be [[BlatantLies a blatant lie]].

This is often done by doctors or friends of the patient who genuinely mean well, and are just trying to help them. However, it can also be used as a sarcastic [[PreMortemOneLiner Pre-Mortem]]/PreAsskickingOneLiner by someone who is about to inflict a lot of ''deliberate'' pain on their victim.

Another common variant is "This may hurt a little", or alternately, "You might feel a slight tingling sensation". This variation tends to be popular with {{Mad Scientist}}s. A particularly psychopathic or [[{{Jerkass}} dickish]] character may instead say, "''I'' won't feel a thing."

Definitely TruthInTelevision, as anyone knows who has been to the dentist, although it is increasingly averted as anesthesia gets better and starts to get used more widely. This is also a commonly-used phrase when children who are AfraidOfNeedles are involved.

Often used to set up FalseReassurance.

----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime And Manga]]
* ''Anime/TenchiMuyo'':
-->'''Ryoko:''' I won't hurt you... Too much!
* ''Manga/DGrayMan'' (anime) averts this with Komui telling Allen, "When I get done with you, you'll be good as new. Though I must warn you, this will be traumatic."
* ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaStrikerS'' has Nanoha saying "This is going to hurt a bit" to her daughter during the finale before [[spoiler:blasting her with [[BeamSpam five]] [[WaveMotionGun Starlight Breakers]]]].
* ''Manga/MahouSenseiNegima'' has Izumi Ako, who claims her needle isn't as painful as it sounds, but some of the members have a different opinion on that.
* Hange Zoe in ''Manga/AttackOnTitan'' promises not to hurt the Titan she's fighting...and immediately killed it, saying a variation of this.
-->'''Hange:''' See? Bet you barely felt a thing!
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comic Books]]
* In JusticeLeagueDark, SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadman}} uses the "This won't hurt me" variant on June Moone when entering her body.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Robots}}''. After Rodney is assembled, an extra piece is found.
-->'''Mr. Copperbottom''': [chuckles] We did want a boy, right? [He takes the piece and a hammer] This won't hurt a bit, son. [He hammers the piece in, Rodney cries]
* Variation in ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens'':
-->'''Dr. Cockroach:''' Now, you might feel a slight pinch in the brain. [[EvilLaugh Mwahaha...]] Sorry.
* Inversion in ''WesternAnimation/TheSpongebobSquarepantsMovie'':
-->'''Dennis:''' Don't worry, this'll only hurt a lot!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Franchise/TheMatrix'': Morpheus [[AvertedTrope averts this]] in [[Film/TheMatrix the first film]] when he tells Neo, "Try to relax. This will feel, a little weird."
* ''Film/TheDayTheEarthStoodStill2008'': Klaatu says "the pain will only be momentary."
* The ''Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet2010'' reboot: "This won't hurt one… little... bit..."
* ''Film/{{Casper}}''
-->'''Carrigan Crittenden''': [stalking after Dibs, carrying a huge battle axe] Damn it, Dibs! This won't hurt a bit!
* ''Film/BeingThere''
-->'''Doctor Allenby''': This won't hurt a bit. [Sticks Chance with a needle]
-->'''Chance the Gardener''': It did hurt.
* ''ChillFactor'': An assassin tells one of the protagonists, as she is about to execute him: "Don't worry, I'm a professional, this won't hurt a bit."
** Given an IronicEcho a short while later after he ends up gaining the upper hand: "I'm an amateur, this is going to hurt like hell."
* One of the tag lines for Creator/MichaelMoore's ''Sicko'' (a documentary about health care in the US and around the world) is "this may hurt a little". Promotional materials also use "get well soon!"
* ''Film/{{Bedazzled 1967}}'' - the Devil offers Stanley seven wishes for his soul. Stanley has misgivings and asks "But if you took it out, wouldn't it hurt?" The Devil replies "It's a perfectly painless operation, and afterwards you won't feel a thing!"
* Beautifully averted in ''Film/{{Hook}}'', where Hook is about to pierce Peter's son's ear and tells him 'Brace yourself lad, because this is REALLY going to hurt.'
* Inverted in ''Film/{{Creepshow}}'', when Jordy Verrill dreams of what will happen if he goes to the doctor about the growth on his fingers. The doctor tells him the fingers will have to come off, then opens up a steam sterilizer and takes out a meat cleaver. "This is going to be ''extremely painful'', Mr. Verrill," he says.
* In Film/TheThreeStooges short ''[[Recap/TheThreeStoogesICanHardlyWait I Can Hardly Wait]]'', Curly needs to have a tooth extracted at the dentist, and Moe tries to convince Curly he won't feel a thing by sitting in the patient chair and explaining what will happen. The dentist comes in from the other room, quickly puts Moe to sleep with anesthesia, and proceeds to pull out ''Moe'''s tooth before Curly can tell him that he's supposed to be the patient.
* In ''Film/CubeZero'', the Cube surgeon at the end falsely assures Wynn that he won't feel anything of the {{lobotomy}} they're going to give him. The first thing Wynn does when they cut into his brain is scream out in terror.
* ''Film/GIJoeTheRiseOfCobra'': "This will only hurt a little. [[FalseReassurance What comes next... more so.]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In ''Literature/EndersGame'', Ender is told "it won't hurt a bit" to have his monitor taken out, but Ender knows that adults say that when it ''is'' going to hurt.
* ''Literature/{{Coraline}}'', the Other Parents tell Coraline this when they try to convince her to let them sew the buttons on her eyes. Coraline doesn't believe them for an instant.
* Literature/{{Discworld}} has the troll retrophrenologist truthfully informing his client "This won't hurt [[ExactWords a bit]]" as he readies the mallet. (Phrenology being the pseudo-science based on determining a person's mental state and personality by measuring the skull and variations thereof. Retrophrenology "works" by introducing ''new'' variations to the skull to modify said mental state and personality...)
* There's a sequence in ''Literature/{{Unwind}}'' where a WalkingTransplant on the operating table is notified that he may feel something in his feet, but not to worry. Then, a little later, he's told that he may feel something in his legs. This proceeds [[BodyHorror far longer than you might expect]].
* In ''Literature/TheMysteriousBenedictSociety'', one of the Recruiters tells the children "If you children stay nice and still, I promise this won't hurt a bit." The other Recruiter that is with him suggests "Oh, come on, let's tell the truth for once. Just for kicks." The first Recruiter then admits "All right, the truth is that this will hurt. A ''lot''. But if you hold still, I promise it won't hurt for ''long''."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{House}}'' episode "The Itch".
-->'''Dr. Gregory House''': You won't feel a thing... Except this excruciating pain.
* ''Series/OneTreeHill'' episode "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight"
-->'''Doctor''': Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
-->'''Dan Scott''': So tell me Doc, how many heart transplants have you done?
-->'''Doctor''': [Takes electric saw from nurse and turns it on]
** Luckily for Dan, it turns out to be a nightmare.
* ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'' episode "Similitude"
-->'''Captain Archer''': Dr. Phlox is going to have to perform an operation.
-->'''Sim Trip at 8''': Will it hurt?
-->'''Dr. Phlox''': Not at all. You won't feel a thing.
-->'''Sim Trip at 8''': Doctors always say that.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderCriminalIntent'' episode "Death Roe"
-->'''Beatrice Mailer''': This won't hurt a bit. [Holding her father's bleeding hand, she squeezes lemon juice onto an open knife cut as he silently flinches] Remember the first time you told me that?
* ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode "[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S04E06AttackOfTheGiantLeeches Attack Of The Giant Leeches]]":
-->'''Dr. Forrester''': Now this leech [snip] when applied to the neck or head area, will suck any desire to smoke out of Frank.
-->'''Frank''': [loudly protests]
-->'''Dr. Forrester''': But this won't hurt a bit.
* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'': The episode [[Recap/SeinfeldS4E3TheGlasses "The Glasses"]] has a inversion:
-->'''Elaine:''' It's not going to hurt a lot, is it?
-->'''Doctor:''' Yes, very much.
* A variant appears on ''Series/TheWire'''s fourth-season premiere, where enforcer Chris Partlow prepares to execute a dealer in a vacant house.
-->'''Chris''': Don't fret, boss. I've got you covered. Quick and clean, I promise."
* The ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode [[Recap/StarTrekS2E12TheDeadlyYears "The Deadly Years"]] has three examples while the Enterprise medical staff is trying to figure out why Chekov was not affected by the RapidAging effect that struck the rest of the landing party.
** Downplayed when Dr. [=McCoy=] tells Nurse Chapel to prepare Ensign Chekov for another physical. She tells Chekov "This won't hurt...much."
** Later on Chekov complains about the multiple medical exams by repeating what he's been told during them.
-->Chekov: "Give us some more blood, Chekov. The needle won't hurt, Chekov."
** Dr. [=McCoy=] continues to test Chekov.
-->'''[=McCoy=]:''' Now this isn't going to hurt a bit.
-->'''Chekov:''' That's what you said the last time.
-->'''[=McCoy=]:''' Did it hurt?
-->'''Chekov:''' Yes!
* Averted in the 9th season premiere of the Israeli sitcom ''Life Ain't All'', in which Orli has become a dental hygienist. Although she gets extremely good results, to the point her patients’ teeth [[RuleOfFunny shine a blinding light when they open their mouths]], she is seen explaining to one patient she has [[OhCrap absolutely no aversion towards her patients’ pain]].
* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' "Coup by Clam". The crew of Moya are being examined by a doctor for SpaceMadness.
-->'''John:''' Hey look I know you guys lie and all, but th-this is not gonna hurt too bad is it?
-->'''Doctor:''' ''(cheerfully)'' Not a bit.
-->''(The doctor turns on his MindProbe, causing John's head to light up as he shrieks in agony)''
-->'''D'Argo:''' ''(later)'' If you'd held your scream off one more microt I would have [[SideBet won the pool]].
** In "Scratch 'N Sniff" the bad guy abducts Jool so he can drain her body for a LovePotion.
-->'''Fe'Tor:''' ''(PuttingAHandOverHerMouth)'' Trust me. [[FalseReassurance It'll only hurt the first time]].
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''.
** In their very first fight in [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS2E3SchoolHard "School Hard"]]. Spike boasts that the last Slayer he killed begged for her life, but...
--->'''Spike:''' Tell you what; as a personal favor, from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.
--->'''Buffy:''' No, Spike. [[PreAssKickingOneLiner It's gonna hurt a lot.]]
** A line cut from [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS2E14Innocence "Innocence"]] had Angelus saying, "It won't hurt a bit...[[ColdBloodedTorture after the first hour]]."
** Subverted in [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS2E8TheDarkAge "The Dark Age"]]:
---> '''Ethan:''' Now this may sting a little, just at first. But don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in.
** In the episode [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS6E9Smashed "Smashed"]], when Spike is about to eat someone:
--->"This might hurt a little..."
* ''Series/{{Angel}}''.
** In the episode [[Recap/AngelS01E10PartingGifts "Parting Gifts"]], a villain is about to forcibly remove Cordelia's eyes.
--->“Now, be a good girl and hold still. This will only hurt a lot.”
** In the episode [[Recap/AngelS03E01Heartthrob "Heartthrob"]]:
--->'''Doctor:''' "Now, James, ''(lifts a scalpel)'' this shouldn't hurt ''(starts to slice into James chest)'' too much."
* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
** In the episode [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler "Let's Kill Hitler"]], the Antibodies of a shape-shifting robot really don't like visitors, but they are pleased to inform you that your death will be very painless:
--->'''Antibody:''' [[JustForFun/{{Hello}} WELCOME]]. YOU ARE UNAUTHORIZED. [[DissonantSerenity PLEASE REMAIN CALM]] [[CallingYourAttacks WHILE YOUR LIFE IS EXTRACTED]]. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking A TINGLING SENSATION]] [[HaveANiceDeath AND THEN DEATH]].
** In the episode [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E2DinosaursOnASpaceship "Dinosaurs On A Spaceship"]], before injecting his father, Rory says, "This won't hurt". He then admits he lied.
** In the episode [[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E4TheTimeOfAngels "The Time Of Angels"]], we have this exchange:
--->(''River Song is preparing to give Amy a vaccine'')\\
'''River:''' Now, this won't hurt a bit. (''injects Amy'')\\
'''Amy:''' Ow!\\
'''River:''' See? {{I lied}}.
** In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E13TheNameOfTheDoctor "The Name of the Doctor"]], the Doctor hooks Clara up to the Tardis's psychic network, via snapping a wire to her hand.
--->'''The Doctor:''' Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit.\\
'''Clara:''' Ouch!\\
'''The Doctor:''' {{I lied}}.
** In the mini-episode [[Recap/DoctorWho50thPrequelTheLastDay "The Last Day"]] a soldier is instructing another soldier in the use of his helmet POVCam, which will record everything that happens to him in case he's killed in action.
--->'''Soldier:''' From now on the [[POVCam head-cam]] is downloading directly to your memory. A tiny part of your brain is now a hard-drive. Takes up hardly any space; you won't feel a thing. Now, at the beginning sometimes this has side effects-- (''cut to hallucination of a screaming soldier'')
** Inverted in the prequel episode [[Recap/DoctorWho50thPrequelTheNightOfTheDoctor "The Night of the Doctor"]]. The Eighth Doctor is about to take a potion which will make him regenerate into the War Doctor.
--->'''The Doctor:''' Will it hurt?\\
'''Ohila:''' Yes.\\
'''The Doctor:''' [[ThenLetMeBeEvil Good.]]
* ''Series/KamenRiderDecade'': Whenever [[PhantomThief Kamen Rider Diend]] uses the Final Form Ride power on another character, he assures them "It'll only hurt for a moment" -- and then he shoots them in the back with his TransformationTrinket gun, which causes them to [[InvoluntaryShapeshifting morph into something like a giant weapon or vehicle]]. In one episode, one of Diend's "victims" angrily informs him that it hurts a good deal more than he lets on.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* ''[[Music/AmericanIdiot "Tell me, Jimmy, I won't feel a thing…"]]''
* Music/TheBlackParade: ''"It was a lie when they smiled and said you won't feel a thing"'' (Disenchanted)
* ''Music/TheWall'': Okay, just a little pinprick, There'll be no more (screams), but you may feel a little sick.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Toys]]
* From ''Franchise/{{Bionicle}}'':
-->'''Brutaka''': But if you want people to believe you caught this dangerous criminal, [[MakeItLookLikeaStruggle you will need to look like you've been in a fight]]. A light [[TapOnTheHead tap to your head]] would do the trick, perhaps. My colleague, Vezon, can handle it -- you won't feel a thing.
-->'''Vezon''': [[AxCrazy Ever Again]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland'', Guybrush needs to get some hair from an old dog. "Okay fella, this won't hurt a bit" *plucks hair* "Hey, I guess it didn't hurt a bit. He must be shedding".
* {{Inverted|Trope}} by ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'''s Medic:
-->'''TheMedic''': All I can tell you about zis next procedure is zat it will be...excruciating!
* The Mad Dok of ''Videogame/DawnOfWar'' had a similar line.
-->'''Mad Dok''': ''"It's gonna hurt a lot, but it'll make you feel bettah!"''
* Played for BlackComedy in ''VideoGame/RatchetAndClankUpYourArsenal''
-->'''[[EvilDiva Courtney Gears]]:''' Don't be afraid, [[TheHero Ratchet]]. The transformation doesn't hurt... *[[EvilLaugh chuckles evilly]]* [[FalseReassurance much]].
* In ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories'':
-->'''Larxene''': *to Repliku, who is about to have his memories erased and rewritten* Relax, kiddo, I don't think it's gonna hurt...much.
* Doctor Zed's intro cutscene in ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands2}}'':
-->'''Hyperion Spy''': "I'm starving! I wanna eat your babies!"
-->'''Zed''': "Son, this might sting a little." *violently stabs Hyperion jerkbag with gigantic needle*
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* ''Webcomic/FriendlyHostility'': Charlotte, a MadScientist in training, uses her father's employee Derringer as a guinea pig for a machine labelled "Schroedinger's Derringer". "Now in a moment you may or may not feel a tingly death ..."
* ''Webcomic/{{Oglaf}}'': [[http://oglaf.com/stalker/2/ Stalker]] (This page SFW, other may not be)
--> '''Nurse 1:''' Yess! We promissse many thingss!
--> '''Nurse 2:''' "Thisss will not hurt" iss our ffavorite!
* Webcomic/{{Darkbolt}}: Inversion when [[spoiler:Johji extracts Destruction.]]
--> "Is this gonna hurt?"
--> "A lot."
* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius''. "This will hurt ''slightly'' less if you do not move."
* In ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', in order to avert this, a specialized way of measuring pain was developed. The doctor can now tell you ''precisely'' how much your pain will rate on the [[ThingOMeter ouchdammitometer]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* The ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond'' episode "Meltdown":
-->'''Mr. Freeze:''' You may feel some momentary discomfort.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
** [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E10TheSpringfieldFiles "The Springfield Files"]]
--->'''Dr. Nick Riviera''': Don't worry. You won't feel a thing [exhibits a swirling mechanical device]…till I jam this down your throat!
** [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E16BrotherFromAnotherSeries "Brother from Another Series"]]
--->'''Cecil''': There may be a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them.
* ''WesternAnimation/ThePenguinsOfMadagascar:'', "Roger Dodger":
-->'''Roger:''' A mind-switching machine. Is this gonna hurt?
-->'''Kowalski:''' Just a slight pinch, followed by the brief sensation of a thousand suns exploding in your skull.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarTrekTheAnimatedSeries'' episode "The Pirates of Orion"
-->'''Dr. [=McCoy=]''': [about to give an injection] This won't hurt a bit, Spock.
-->'''Mr. Spock''': An unnecessary assurance, doctor, in addition to being untrue.
-->'''Dr. [=McCoy=]''': That's the last time I waste my bedside manner on a Vulcan.
* ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'', "Seeing Red": Terrance says to Mac before beating him up "This will only hurt for a second." The line becomes a RunningGag throughout the episode, and at the end is given an IronicEcho by Bloo: "Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a week."
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Ultimate Spider-Man}}'' episode "The Iron Octopus":
-->'''Doc Ock:''' This won't hurt...for long.
* ''WesternAnimation/DocMcStuffins'': The whole clinic staff uttered this exact phrase to an uneasy Niles while trying to get his bandages off. Of course, Niles was expecting it to hurt. Inverted in that they proceeded to carefully take off most of the bandages while Niles wasn't paying attention, so he naturally felt nothing when Doc told him it was time to take them off and pulled a little piece of bandage still on him.
* From the obscure and long-since-canceled G4 series ''Portal'' (no relation to the game): "I was going to keep you as my personal music slave! Now I think I'll pull your stomach out and wear it as a man-purse! Don't worry, it'll only hurt for thirty minutes!"
* [[WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius Jimmy Neutron]] is usually asked this whenever he tests his inventions on his friends.
--> '''Carl:''' Is this gonna hurt?
--> '''Jimmy:''' Oh no, I'll be fine.
* ''[[WesternAnimation/BuzzLightyearOfStarCommand Buzz Lightyear of Star Command]]'' has an extended while introducing Torque as the Villain of the Week: Zurg, seeing that Torque shares a hatred of Buzz but also lacks the method to act with it, decides to ''tweak'' his genetics a little bit. The catch (of which Zurg is fond) is that the procedure to "power-up" Torque is going to hurt. Very hurt. Very very hurt. Zurg warns Torque just before the operating machinery begins its work, however, the machinery has already been activated and operates very loudly, and Torque can't hear him:
--> '''Zurg'''(as the noise of the operating machine reaches a peak): Did I mention the operation will be excrutiatingly painful?"\\
'''Torque''': ''What was that, Z?''\\
'''Zurg''': Oh . . . ah, nevermind! (''giggles'')
** Zurg exits the operating room and closes the door as we hear Torque begin to scream.
[[/folder]]
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