[[quoteright:350:[[VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/YouFightLikeACow_8942.jpg]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[-How appropriate. [[TropeNamers You fight like a cow!]]-] ]]

->''"Swordfighting is [[JustLikeMakingLove a little like making love.]] It's not always what you do, but what you say."''
-->-- '''Captain Smirk''', ''VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland''

Cutting implements and [[TrashTalk cutting remarks]], combined.

Two characters are fighting, probably with swords or fists. They're also engaged in WittyBanter or VolleyingInsults or, perhaps, having a [[BaddieFlattery discussion]] on [[CasualDangerDialog fighting technique]], the meaning of life, [[Website/{{Twitter}} what they had for lunch]], or why new music is so awful. In comics (and comic-based cartoons), this is typically referred to as "quipping" and is standard operational procedure for most heroes. Except Franchise/{{Batman}}.

Common when the action sequences need some dialog. If done right, the dialog is more memorable than the action, and will probably be quoted incessantly. This is also a common trick of the WarriorTherapist. Luckily for them TalkingIsAFreeAction, so they're never short of breath or time (and can hear each other clearly over all the crashing and punching and [[BangBangBang loud gunshots]]).

If an insult's delivered just before the killing stroke, see PreMortemOneLiner. If a few moments later, see BondOneLiner.
See MyGrandmaCanDoBetterThanYou and MyDadCanBeatUpYourDad for similar insults.
----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* The Duels in ''Anime/RevolutionaryGirlUtena'' often contain some form of this; Utena's part, though, can be either participatory, or merely reactionary, depending on how invested she is at the moment... or how confused. (Utena, not the audience.) Theatrically, in a series where the difference between reality and reality-as-a-stage has blurred, the duels were depicted as cathartic. This is especially blatant in the final Nanami duel, as [[spoiler: both participants know Nanami hasn't a shot in hell of winning from the start and just needs to HIT someone.]]
** In the Utena LiveActionRolePlay ''Still Places'', the winner of a duel is partially determined by whose banter was more psychologically damaging to the opponent.
* Also, the Duels in ''Anime/YuGiOh'' are frequently peppered with insults when the characters don't ContemplateOurNavels.
** [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries The Abridged Series]] references the Monkey Island insult during Joey vs. Kaiba. One of Kaiba's put-downs goes on for nearly a ''minute''.
* The ''LightNovel/DirtyPair'' mention, in the [[{{Animesque}} Amerimanga]] version, taking a class in "[[BondOneLiner Combat Quips]]." They may have been pulling Cory's leg, though.
* During his battle with Kyuzo in ''Anime/SamuraiSeven'', Kambe confides that he is [[HoYay in love]]... with Kyuzo's skill, that is. He also tries to convince Kyuzo to join the samurai.
* ''Anime/DragonBallZ'' uses this often, [[LullDestruction even more so in the dub.]]
** Also, interestingly, there is a one-shot fighting style Master Roshi uses called ''"The Mad Cow Technique"'' (an American {{Bowdleri|se}}zation of the [[FrothyMugsOfWater Drunken Fist]] technique he actually did use).
** Vegetto is the king of this, having the perfect blend of Vegeta's (now justified) arrogance, and Goku's sense of humor.
-->'''Buu:''' Are you ready?\\
'''Vegetto:''' That depends. If by that you mean "am I superior to you in every way?" then yes.
* ''Manga/OnePiece''
** Roronoa Zoro is the most prone to this. Nearly all of his battles have featured gratuitous TrashTalk on his part. While ''holding a sword in his mouth''. [[WordOfGod His heart]] [[ItRunsOnNonsensoleum allows him to speak.]]
** [[ChefOfIron Sanji]] is definitely no slouch either.
** When Luffy talks in a fight, you can be sure he's either telling the other guy to shut up or fanboying over how cool the other guy's attacks are.
* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'': Ranma does this so much when he fights that it's a battle tactic. "Anything Goes."
* ''Manga/TheLuciferAndBiscuitHammer'': Mikazuki picks up on this when he plays "catch" with Yuuhi.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* ComicBook/SpiderMan may not use a sword, but nevertheless, he's the master of the fighting quip. This is greatly amplified in the ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'' incarnation, likely because he is a teenager, making him more of a wiseass and more terrified. How he is able to talk this much while performing superhuman acrobatics without taking so much as a breath is another mystery, though of course, TalkingIsAFreeAction.
** WordOfGod has it that he quips so much because he's horribly horribly scared and running off at the mouth keeps him distracted from that. [[DependingOnTheWriter Other writers suggest]] that he does it out of boredom: he perceives everything as moving slower and uses jokes and one-liners to kill time. Either way, it serves the purpose of taunting the enemy so that they target him rather than civilians.
** Spider-Man and Ronin (formerly {{Hawkeye}}) were members of ComicBook/TheAvengers simultaneously. Spidey was taken aback that somebody was horning in on his quipping racket, but Clint basically says "tough, I like to quip, too."
** When the ComicBook/NewAvengers went to Japan, {{Luke Cage|HeroForHire}} is thrown over a balcony by ninjas. Being {{Nigh Invulnerab|ility}}le, he not only survives, he finds the bright side -- while he was running back up, Spidey "ran out of material."
** The ''ComicBook/{{Spider-Girl}}'' series had the title character realize this as a sort of automatic coping mechanism. When she came upon scenes that should have horrified her and left her shocked and speechless; if she just made a quick joke about the whole situation and thus help herself treat it less seriously, she could focus on the bad guy. In an early situation, while dodging a teleporting baddie's fire, the second-person narration points out that her dad would, according to legend, be throwing out jokes, but she knows she'd only be able to manage "a cracked voice and a few stuttering comments."
** Venom from ''EarthX'' isn't so good at it, perhaps because her father refuses to have anything to do with her crime fighting. Later, once they've reconciled, he begins training her at it.
** The 'regular' Spider-Man occasionally comments on this too. In the eighties he suddenly realized that as the villains were killing people, he was wisecracking.
** When Mary Jane temporarily appeared dead a few years ago, Spider-Man beat down a group of small-time criminals without saying a word. The last of them fled in terror, realizing that [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness something was seriously wrong.]]
** Averted by the Spider-Man of [[{{Marvel2099}} 2099]] -- In his civilian guise, Miguel O'Hara constantly spouts snide comments, but when he puts the mask on, he gets very quiet (at least early in his career...) The man is damn ''scary'' when he [[TranquilFury stops quipping]].
* Comicbook/SheHulk, a fellow LighterAndSofter (of sorts) superheroine is also a frequent quipper. When Spidey appeared early on in her revived title, with her serving as his lawyer in a suit against J. Jonah Jameson, he even mentions that they enjoy quipping together. (This is also the source of the panel where Spidey claims [[Funny/SpiderMan JJJ hates him because "he's black"]].)
* {{Deadpool}}, being an lunatic who [[NoFourthWall knows he's in a comic book]], has some truly... interesting... battle banter which often derails into stream-of-consciousness rambling about something completely unrelated (even as he handily beats the stuffing out of his opponent.) In fact, it's speculated by some characters that he does this on purpose to distract his opponents. Several characters, at least, have had lines like, "What are you talking about?" cut off by a blow to the face from Deadpool.
** Given that Spider-Man and Deadpool are the masters of this trope within the Marvel universe, it should come as no surprise that they utilize this to the fullest when they meet up in Amazing Spider-Man #611, which writer Joe Kelly describes as "a fight that very quickly degenerates into a [[YourMom 'your mother is' joke contest]]."
** Deadpool has at least one voice in his head that he converses with; often he has two or more. As a result, he is one of the only comic book characters who can give "fight like a cow" insults ''to himself''.
* On the villain side, SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker. Whatever hero he meets or situation Franchise/{{Batman}} finds him in, he's always got some quip to deliver as they square off for the fight... often centered around the people he's just slaughtered or, in some cases, people important to the hero he's killed in the past. He'll often even give running commentary on the beating he's being handed, sometimes as a lead-in to a BreakingSpeech.
* Defied by Sodam Yat in ''Franchise/GreenLantern: SinestroCorpsWar'' when he's fighting Superman-Prime:
-->'''Sodam Yat:''' I don't trade quips, insults or banter. I'm Corps, not a comedian.
** Superman-Prime himself ''tries'' to do this... but he's not good at it.
* ''Comicbook/ScottPilgrim vs. The World''
** Knives attacks Ramona and manages to score a shallow cut on her face:
-->'''Knives''': I totally grazed you!\\
'''Ramona''': How appropriate. [[ShoutOut You fight like a cow]].
** Scott himself, however, sucks at battle quips:
-->'''Scott:''' Shut up, you... guy!\\
'''Wallace:''' Better comebacks, Scott!
* ''SinCity'' has this exchange between Wallace and Manute:
-->'''Manute:''' You're quick. I should've brought a fly swatter.\\
'''Wallace:''' You should've brought an army.
* Part of {{Nightwing}}'s stock in trade.
-->'''Nightwing''': [[WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood I'm chatty, it's part of my charm.]]
** Even when Dick was {{Robin}}, he was an expert in strings of witty quips. Even the other Robins seem to have picked this up.
*** It seems to be a habit of the Robins. However Tim Drake (third Robin and now Red Robin) seems to have dropped it and was never really that witty to begin with. Damian Wayne (4th or 5th Robin, depending on the continuity), throws insults in a SophisticatedAsHell sort of way. Jason Todd (second Robin and Red Hood) seems to give Dick a good run for his money. He does throws a lot of smack talk at his opponents (like Nightwing) as a way to get them emotional or distract them. The real difference is that Nightwing does it in a lighter and more playful manner. Jason's witty quips are darker and more sadistic.
* Defied in an issue of GenerationX, where X-Cutioner explicitly tells Skin that he is "not interested in engaging [him] in a witty repartee."
* While he doesn't do it a lot in the games, [[ComicBook/SonictheHedgehog Sonic]], being the resident MotorMouth, does this quite a bit in the comics. 90% of the time it's as simple as an IncrediblyLamePun derived from his opponent's name.
** He does it often enough that in issue 48, it was explicitly noted by the narration that he wasn't running off at the mouth during a fight.
** By extension, [[EvilCounterpart Scourge]] also does it quite a bit as well.
** Tails also shows signs of picking up this habit from time to time.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fanfiction]]
* In [[FanFic/TheVinylAndOctaviaSeries ''Vinyl and Octavia Have Multiple Dates'']], Octavia ends up getting into a pun battle with Neon Lights. Also includes a ShoutOut to the TropeNamer.
-->'''Neon Lights''': Yeah well, you� you� You- fight like a cow!
-->'''Octavia''': How appropriate. You fight like a dairy farmer.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado'':
-->'''Miguel:''' You fight like my sister!\\
'''Tulio:''' Ah ha! I've fought your sister! That's a compliment!
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Animalympics}}'', when The Contessa confronts the crooked fencer Count Bordeaux:
-->'''Bordeaux:''' You'll never fence again!\\
'''Contessa:''' You've never fenced ''before!''
* Pretty ludicrously done in the eighth script draft for ''WesternAnimation/SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut''. The Doctor from the Hospital scene runs in with an M-16. A Canadian steps in front of him; the doctor shoots and blows the Canadian's head clean off.
-->'''Dr. Gauche:''' Hey, pal, don't lose your head.\\
''(suddenly, the ticket guy's chest rips open. He falls dead, and standing behind him is a Canadian with a double-barreled shotgun)''\\
'''Canadian Soldier:''' I'm glad you got that off your chest.\\
''(Tom, the Rhinoplasty surgeon, leaps in and stabs the Canadian through the head with his bayonet.)''\\
'''Tom:''' I guess he got the point.\\
''(a Canadian rushes in and machine-guns Tom full of holes)''\\
'''Canadian Soldier 2:''' Plastics are a cheap and efficient insulator for electrical applications.
* Po vs. the Wolf Boss in ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda2:''
-->'''Wolf Boss''': Is that all you got? 'Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big, old, fluffy cloud!
-->'''Po''': Well this cloud is about to bring the thunder!
* Subverted in ''{{Megamind}}''.
-->'''Megamind:''' [fighting Titan] Now it's time for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!\\
'''Titan:''' [[UnstoppableRage AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!]]\\
'''Megamind:''' Okay, I don't know where to go with that...
* Spoofed in ''Sev Trek: Pus in Boots'' when Captain Pinchard is fighting his EvilTwin.
-->'''Evil Pinchard:''' You fight like a girl!\\
'''Good Pinchard:''' Oh yeah? Well you look like a... never mind.
* ''Disney/TheHunchbackofNotreDame'' played it straight in the fight between Esmeralda and Pheobos, which was rich with CasualDangerDialog.
--->'''Pheobos:''' You fight almost as well as a man...\\
'''Esmeralda:''' Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you!

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* The famous Inigo/Westley duel in ''Film/ThePrincessBride'', where the two duelists discuss swordsmanship styles and [[IAmNotLeftHanded dexterity]] as they fight, may be the most well-known example. Interestingly, though the fighting itself is pure {{Flynning}}, the various techniques they claim to be using (Bonetti's Defense, Capo Ferro, etc.) [[ShownTheirWork all include the names of real fencing masters]].
* ''Film/RobinHoodMenInTights'', the Creator/MelBrooks parody of RobinHood stories, featured Cary Elwes reprising his role as Westley... complete with similar quipping swordplay. His archenemy the Sheriff of Rottingham attempts this and fails...every time.
* The swashbuckling films of ErrolFlynn and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (''and'' Jr.) were rife with this trope.
** The 1937 ''Prisoner of Zenda'' includes a particularly delicious example between Fairbanks Jr. (as a ''villain'') and Ronald Colman. And of course any film in which Flynn crosses swords with Basil Rathbone is bound to feature outstanding examples of the trope.
* The title heroes of the ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' films indulge in this with Michaelangelo and Donatello being the prime offenders.
* ''[[Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl]]'' features a short exchange of witty banter between Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, and the series only builds on the banter from there. Indeed, at many points in the trilogy one can discern who has the advantage in a fight by paying attention to who gets the better lines.
* The three lightsaber duels in the original ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy use this, with ''Film/ANewHope'' having the most and ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi'' having the least. The prequels are pretty devoid of it though.
* ''Film/GalaxyQuest'''s (mostly) fake fight in the airlock consists of trading insults ("Raving egomaniac!" "scene-stealing hack!") and (mostly) fake punches ("You used to pull your punches") while maneuvering into position to grab a [[ImprovisedWeapon blunt object]].
* The beginning of the third ''[[TheLibrarian Librarian]]'' movie, ''Curse of the Judas Chalice,'' has an excellent example of this, with Flynn and the ''villain du jour'' dueling on stairs while critiquing each other's technique.
* In Creator/WoodyAllen's feature-length GagDub, ''Film/WhatsUpTigerLily'', the hero shouts nonsensical insults such as, "Russian dog! Spanish fly!" at his opponents.
* Plenty of this happens in martial arts spoof ''TonganNinja'', most notably when Action Fighter quips: "You fight like a baby... a ''[[BlackComedy dead baby]]''!"
* In ''Kuffs'' during a standoff with some bad guys:
-->'''Bad guy:''' ''(paraphrased)'' There's more of us than them! Let's get them! ''(he is promptly shot by Kuffs' partner)''\\
'''Kuffs:''' Well, now we know that he [the bad guy] can add, and he [indicates his partner] can subtract..."
* The duel between Mina and Dorian Grey in ''Film/TheLeagueOfExtraordinaryGentlemen'' is BetterOnDVD because A) the version in the deleted scenes lasts longer and B) the {{double entendre}}s are hilarious.
* In ''The Deluge'' (1974 polish film), Kmita, robber and murderer, kidnapped a noblewoman, with whom he fell in love. He barricaded them in a house and threatened besiegers that he would blow up the house with a barrel of powder. Col. Volodyovski forced him to duel, offering Kmita freedom if he wins. But Kmita quickly realised that [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTtq2Gzm6w he met his match.]]
-->'''Col. Volodyovski:''' You strike like a man with a flail!\\
'''Kmita:''' Finish - spare the shame!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In Creator/TamoraPierce's ''Literature/SongOfThelioness'' books, Alanna notices that her opponents tend to get ''more'' nervous when she remains eerily silent throughout. However, during a friendly match between Alanna and Kel in ''Literature/DaughterOfTheLioness'', they do taunt each other.
* In PiersAnthony's book ''Crewel Lye'', the protagonist notes that some physically weak fighters with sharp tongues do well.
* Harry Dresden of ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles''; it makes sense, since his creator is a self-proclaimed ''Spider-Man'' fan. He has managed to quip about following the Tao of Peter Parker while being interrogated by a BigBad. Which [[FridgeBrilliance makes a bit of sense]] since you [[WalkingTechBane don't need technology]] to read comic books.
* Several characters from Creator/AlexandreDumas' ''Literature/TheThreeMusketeers'', the most serious offender being Porthos. He quipped so much that it was actually part of his combat technique. In the first sword fight from the book the duel between d'Artagnan and all three of the musketeers, that got interrupted by the cardinal's guards, Porthos gets stuck fighting two adversaries at once and he finishes first because he keeps tormenting them with questions about the time, what they thought of this and that social event at court, corrections about their fighting styles, etc. He of course is not the only offender, all of the characters engaging in this behavior from time to time.
* The Franchise/StarWarsExpandedUniverse has a form of this called ''[[HeavyMetalUmlaut Dun Mch]]'', waging psychological warfare on their opponents through taunts and insults while using the Force to manipulate their enemies' emotions. Almost entirely a Sith technique, although there has been the occasional Jedi who made use of it for more benign reasons. Admittedly, Jedi use of it tends less toward hurling insults and more toward WarriorTherapist, but the goal remains the same: put your opponent off balance by interfering with their ability to concentrate and thus their ability to use TheForce.
* ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''
** Ser Rodrik criticizes the people he's teaching swordplay in this manner. Specifically he tells one that he fights like a porcupine (presumably stabbing out a sword aimlessly to try and keep an opponent away) and another that he fights like a goose, letting himself be hit and hitting back harder, ignoring the fact that with real swords the first blow would have killed him.
** The climactic duel between [[spoiler: Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper of Dorne]] and [[spoiler: Gregor Clegane, the Mountain that Rides]]. The former talks a lot, but it mostly consists of repeating the same thing over and over in an attempt to infuriate his opponent and get him to confess his crimes. The latter gets worked up enough to shout at him to shut up a few times, but doesn't actually reply coherently until the end.
* Happens a few times in ''Literature/{{Redwall}}'', particularly with the hares, who seem to include more friendly-sounding snark the more serious the fight is, often even offering tips on fighting to their opponents. Dippler and Fenno also get in a bit;
-->"I'm gonna slay you just like I did Logalog!"\\
"You can't kill me the way you killed Logalog. I'm facin' you, Fenno. You stabbed Logalog in the back!"
* Snape, ever the teacher, corrects Harry's technique and lectures him on his mistakes while they duel near the end of ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''.
* While dueling Qui-Gon in ''[[Literature/JediApprentice The Captive Temple]]'', Xanatos taunts his former Master for being slow, claiming he's faster now. Qui-Gon disagrees.
---> "No. You just talk more."
** Later he says that Xanatos always starts his taunts when he's tiring, and that his fatal flaw is his need to boast, often revealing aspects of his complex plans that would be more effective if secret.
* ''Royal Flash''. {{Flashman}} does this to the [[Literature/ThePrisonerOfZenda Rupert of Hentzau]]-expy he's fighting to make him lose his temper and wear himself out in wild thrusts, so the stronger Flashman will have the advantage. It doesn't work.
* In [[Literature/SienkiewiczTrilogy ''The Deluge'']], during Wołodyjowski's duel with Kmicic, [[MasterSwordsman the former]] calls out the latter on all of his shabby fencing techniques. A less trashy example than usual, but there are a few comments along the lines of: "Alright, that one? Good for chasing off stray dogs."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* Most of the ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' crew get a shot at it, as they're living in a WorldOfSnark.
** Spoofed with the Buffybot, when Willow tries to make it as much like Buffy as possible but messes up the [[BuffySpeak "quipping" feature]], resulting in the likes of "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"
** And {{lampshade|Hanging}}d in the first Season 3 episode that showed the rest of the crew trying to get on with the slayage without her. Willow, after a ''really'' bad one :
-->'''Willow:''' Well, w-w-well, the Slayer always says a pun, or-or a witty play on words, and, I think it throws the vampires off! And, and it makes them frightened, because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time!
** Also, in season 5, during the fight with Olaf the troll. "You're as inadequate a troll as you were a man and even the women trolls hate you." or something like that.
** {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d into a CrowningMomentOfAwesome by Buffy herself:
-->'''Buffy:''' If I were at full slayer strength, I'd be punning right now.
** Lampshaded when Buffy finds herself up against a female vampire whose as good as she is, including snark-wise. One of her henchvamps asks if they're going to fight or just have a monster sarcasm rally.
* Kurenai Otoya from ''Series/KamenRiderKiva'' tends to quip a lot when fighting as IXA.
* A ''lot'' of characters in the ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' franchise like to chat while they fight, but the undefeated masters of this has to be the [[Series/PowerRangersNinjaStorm Ninja Storm Rangers]] who sometimes layer jokes and quips so thick it's like Spider-Man times six.
* ''Series/{{Kaamelott}}'''s weaponmaster does not hesitate to insult the king while sparring with him. Arthur is usually not amused, doesn't really see the point though the weaponmaster does try and get him to throw insults around. He finally gets his way... only for Arthur to say something which he finds [[BerserkButton really, really offensive.]]
* ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'': In "In a Mirror, Darkly", MirrorUniverse Hoshi and T'Pol exchange jibes during a knife/fist fight.
-->'''Hoshi:''' I was hoping you'd put up a fight.\\
'''T'Pol:''' I'm surprised you're not exhausted from all the beds you've jumped into recently.\\
'''Hoshi:''' Commander Tucker told me I should give you a few pointers in that area.
* ''Series/DeepSpaceNine''. In "Way of the Warrior" Garak is beaten up by Klingon soldiers.
-->'''Bashir:''' They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle.
-->'''Garak:''' Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks that no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
* ''Series/CutthroatKitchen'': Chefs often do this in the middle of the round. The exchanges often go like this:
-->'''Chef 1:''' How is that dish working out for you, eh? You can't cook without the thing which I took away.
-->'''Chef 2:''' Oh, this is nothing. I can make a better dish out of these. I can't imagine cooking with with those eggs.
-->'''Chef 1:''' These may be stink bombs now, but that won't stop me.
* ''{{Series/Firefly}}'': "War Stories" when Niska has Mal and Wash abducted and tortured. The two of them frustrate Niska by ''ignoring'' him and arguing with ''each other'' throughout the torture session, bantering and needling each other in between jolts of electricity.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sports]]
* Sporting TrashTalk can take this form. This exchange from an Australia vs England {{Cricket}} match:
-->'''Merv Hughes:''' You can't fucking bat.\\
'''Robin Smith:''' ''(after smashing Hughes' next delivery to the boundary)'' Hey, Merv, we make a great pair. I can't fucking bat and you can't fucking bowl.
* This one from a county game:
-->'''Greg Thomas:''' ''(after Viv Richards completely missed his delivery)'' It's red, round and weighs about 5 ounces.\\
'''Viv Richards:''' ''(after hitting Greg's next delivery out of the ground)'' Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!
* A classic cricket exchange:
-->'''Glen Mc Grath:''' Why are you so fat?\\
'''Eddo Brandes:''' Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/SeventhSea'' is made of this trope, the description of the game world is "Where a cutting remark is as sharp as any blade." The game has a Repartee system that includes taunts (making a flourish and then forcing an opponent to make an equally impressive flourish) and intimidation (depriving opponents of dice), to the point that some swordsman schools are built around it. For example, one gives the player an extra action each turn that can ''only'' be used to taunt his foe.
* ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons''
** In the 4th edition, the Bard class is a master of this trope. And since [[MagicalIncantation their puns and insults are actually magical attacks]], it is possible for a Bard to insult someone to death. Not so {{spoony|Bard}} now, eh?
** This is very likely derived from some prestige classes in some third edition settings (like the musketeer class in D20 Past) who gain the ability to automatically confirm critical hits if their player can come up with a witty, relevant and previously unused remark (or a cheap pun, you know whatever) to go with the attack. Like stabbing a vampire and saying "Looks like the ''stakes'' were too high." (We're ignoring the fact that vampires cannot be critically hit.) See the ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' reference below.
** 3.5 edition had the Jester class, which was like the Bard but more focused on taunting the enemy into submission with insulting jokes than inspiring allies with heroic songs.
* In ''TabletopGame/{{GURPS}}'', there is an advantage called Rapier Wit, which enables its user to stun an opponent with a well-chosen remark. And [[TalkingIsAFreeAction it is a free action]].
* ''TabletopGame/MutantsAndMasterminds'' has the Taunt Feat, which allows a character to use their Bluff Skill to lower an opponent's defenses.
* The True20 system adds an ability to the Bluff skill called Conversational Paralysis, in which you say something so flat-out ridiculous that your opponent can do nothing but spend their next turn marveling at how wrong you are.
* ''TabletopGame/VampireTheRequiem'' has a bloodline called the Spina who can gain combat advantages against opponents they've engaged in dialogue. At their power's highest level they can injure opponents [[TalkingTheMonsterToDeath just by insulting them]].
* ''TabletopGame/{{Deadlands}}'' allows three social actions to hinder opponents in combat: staredowns (i.e. give 'em the old steel eyed glare and get them pecker heads quaking in their boots), bluffing to keep them off balance, and mocking them into doing something stupid.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]
* Averted (though the trope apparently hadn't been invented yet) in the climactic duel in ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}'':
-->'''Macbeth:''' Of all men else I have avoided thee: but get thee back; my soul is too much charged with blood of thine already.\\
'''Macduff:''' I have no words: My voice is in my sword: thou bloodier villain than terms can give thee out!\\
''They fight.''
* OlderThanTelevision: Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac in Rostand's play, while fighting a duel, made up an insulting poem about how he was going to kill his opponent during the last line. He did.
-->''Hark, how the steel rings musical!\\
Mark how my point floats, light as the foam,\\
Ready to drive you back to the wall,\\
Then, as I end the refrain, thrust home!''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ImprobableIsland it is possible to learn a skill that allows you to fight and ''kill'' enemies simply by insulting them.
* The trope name is taken from the above ''VideoGame/MonkeyIsland'' quotation; in that game, the results of sword fights are based ''entirely'' on insults, with lots of {{Flynning}} between barbs. As the game's sword fighting instructor put it, sword fighting is a lot like making love: It doesn't really matter what you do, but what you say.
** In later games things get more... interesting... In the [[VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland third game]] the fights all take place at sea, so all insults and comebacks ''have to rhyme''. By the [[VideoGame/EscapeFromMonkeyIsland fourth]], [[PlotTumor everything is based around insulting]]: Insult Darts, Insult Mudwrestling, Insult Arm Wrestling, and the BigBad is a CorruptCorporateExecutive who goes around performing hostile property takeovers by challenging everyone into playing insult games with him. Naturally, he wins every time because no-one can make heads or tails of his Australian insult vocabulary. The latter half of the game even centers on finding the Ultimate Insult [[spoiler:and using it to power up a monkey-shaped HumongousMecha.]]
** Also in later games, the line "You fight like a cow" itself reappears as a RunningGag. Generally the player has the option to respond "Oh yeah? Well you fight like a cow!" or something similar when he feels he's been insulted, and is usually told either that his material is stale or he's using the line out of context.
*** It's also a RunningGag in the original game -- it appears as a dialogue option (used completely out of context) in a couple of situations, one of which gets him the response "You never did know when to use that one."
*** It also turns up in non-[=LucasFilm=] games, such as ''VideoGame/ATaleOfTwoKingdoms'', where you can use insult sword fighting against Rashakk the Goblin Warlord. [[spoiler: Turns out he's better at it, though.]]
*** There's a ShoutOut to it after the tutorial battle in ''VideoGame/JadeEmpire'', where you can tell a fellow student he fights like a cow.
** It should be noted that the insults were written by none other than Creator/OrsonScottCard.
** In ''VideoGame/TalesOfMonkeyIsland'', Guybrush tries using it on [[AscendedFanboy Morgan LeFlay]]. [[spoiler:She responds by ''[[TalkToTheFist cutting off your hand]]''.]]
** It comes back with a particularly dark twist in Chapter 4. [[spoiler: After Guybrush is killed, [=LeChuck=] tells Elaine she waves her sword around like a dairy farmer, and Elaine replies with the no-longer-funny "How appropriate... you fight like a Pox-infected undead cow."]]
** Also comes back with a twist in Chapter 5. [[spoiler: In the Crossroads, Guybrush tries to cheer up Morgan [=LeFlay=]'s spirit and ends up getting in a fight with the ghost of an overzealous sword fighter. So you have to simultaneously compliment Morgan and insult your opponent.]]
** [[WordOfGod Ron Gilbert]] [[http://grumpygamer.com/8280380 said]] that the creative team often watched 1930s swashbuckling movies for inspiration and noticed the abundance of taunts. This fit the game way better than originally planned arcade sequences.
* ''VideoGame/SpiderManShatteredDimensions''
** ALL Spideys have nice quips during battles and while traveling, making the game a perfect way to show the differences between Spideys. Amazing Spidey has the best lines, full DeadpanSnarker mode on. Ultimate Spidey has a MotorMouth that won't shut up, combined with lame puns and bad jokes that are still endearing. Noir Spidey may not talk a lot, as he's almost always on stealth mode, but he has nice {{Bond One Liner}}s all the way. 2099 Spidey jokes more often than not (unlike his comic book counterpart), but he still has good quips during serious fights.
** Deadpool is one of the funniest characters on the whole game, completely crazy and talking all the way. However, he [[PunctuatedForEmphasis just. won't.]] [[MotorMouth SHUT. UP.]] Most players would like to keep playing the level to hear all of Pool's jokes, or break his mouth to STOP HIM TO TALK AGAIN.
* ''Franchise/ShinMegamiTensei'' games often have the ''Taunt'' move, which increases the opponents' Attack through the roof, while dropping their Defense values to nothing.
* ''VideoGame/WingCommander'' lets you insult enemy pilots using your fighter's communications system. This is actually an important tactic -- insult them enough, and they attack you instead of whatever you're [[EscortMission protecting]].
** The Kilrathi have their own witty ripostes, like "A proper fate for a coward!" or "I will eat your heart and spit it out, Terran!" and "Sad, that I must litter space with ape corpses!" Kilrathi [[{{Miniboss}} ace]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Baron]] Baktosh nar Kiranka is notorious for his exceptionally insulting taunts.
* ''Franchise/TheElderScrolls''
** ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind'' and ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion'' use this, especially ''Oblivion'', where one of those sentences is 'you move like a pregnant cow'. Of course, most people "fought mudcrabs tougher than you!"
** ''"This is the part where you fall down and BLEED to death!"'' [[{{Narm}} Not as scary]] when being said by a mentally unstable but otherwise defenseless wood elf, oddly enough. Especially if you know and can cast the spell [[MeaningfulName "Enemies]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Explode."]]
** And for extra fun, [[FantasticRacism species specific]] insults!
* ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic 2'' has the last duel with Sion, which is punctuated by short conversations in which you try to weaken his resolve.
** [[LargeHam You have left me an opening!]]
* ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights'' and ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights2'' gives all creatures and characters with human vocal capabilities a few one-liners they spout off at random during combat, so two characters will do this in a duel if it lasts long enough.
* Morte, of ''VideoGame/PlanescapeTorment'', actually has a special ability directed related to his ability to cuss someone out. If they fail their save, they are enraged and attempt to attack him in melee. So, fired at a [[SquishyWizard D&D style spell caster...]] Even better the save to resist actually becomes ''harder'' the higher the target's [[StatisticallySpeaking intelligence score]], presumably on the basis that dumb characters [[InsultBackfire won't understand most of the taunts]].
* The "Provoke" ability in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyTacticsAdvance'' works similarly--use it successfully on an enemy, and they'll only be able to use the "move" and "attack" commands, with the former primarily serving to bring them close enough for the latter. However, they also get a bonus to attack damage.
* The Pkunk in ''VideoGame/StarControl II'' insult their enemies to make ammunition. Yes. Really. You actually have to do this in-game.
** ''"Baby! Jerk! Stupid! Dummy! Fool!"''
** Also, in order to get [[spoiler:either Tanaka or his brother Katana]] to join you, you must[[spoiler:, despite how you are supposed to keep a cool head with almost every other sentient race in the game, insult him constantly, retreat, rinse, and repeat,]] until he realizes that you are not a Ur-Quan Dreadnought. Or as the Melnorme put it, try to talk to them on their own level.
** You can hail any ship you encounter and speak to them, even ones who intend to attack you no matter what. The dialog tree pretty much always contains some insult that will result in instant combat. Ironically the Pkunk (the race which uses this trope as an actual gameplay mechanic) is an aversion; you need them on your side to proceed, so no matter how much you insult them, they will never take offense and fight you.
* Near the end of ''VideoGame/Sly3HonorAmongThieves'', you insult-duel a wizened old pirate to convince him that you're someone else.
* ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' has [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Insult_Beer_Pong Insult Beer Pong]], a ShoutOut to ''Monkey Island''. In order to win, you need to buy [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Big_Book_of_Pirate_Insults The Big Book of Pirate Insults]] and use it against pirates, and each time they embarrass you with a witty comeback, it's added to the list of retorts you can use during Insult Beer Pong. "You fight like a cow" is one of the default insults that don't work.
* The starship flight sim ''Darkstar One'' featured an actual button for you to taunt your enemies. Of course, this was taking your concentration away from shooting them, meaning it was best reserved for when you were coated in turrets.
* If any FightingGame uses the concept of having the characters briefly have particular conversations with one another before the battle at all there is a strong chance that this will happen at least once.
* ''VideoGame/PaperMario'' featured The Master saying that Mario "fights like a plumber." In case you forgot, Mario is a plumber.
* The ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' series has Shao Khan, who insults you (or laughs) often during a match (usually after knocking you down). In ''Mortal Kombat Trilogy'', when you could finally play as him, these moves were still there, as taunts.
* {{Wet}} has a load of {{Cluster F Bomb}}s amongst some genuinely funny barbs.
* ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum'':
** Mooks frequently says things like "You fight like a girl" and you "fight like a old man", thankfully a punch can interrupt them.
** Courtesy of the public-address system Joker spends the entire frigging game making comments like this. Punching the Joker square in the jaw at the end of the game is one of the most satisfying moments ever.
* ''VideoGame/{{Prototype}}'' has Captain Cross being all chatty while Mercer remains relatively silent soon after the duel begins. Depending on the player's performance against Cross, the BadassNormal will spout the appropriate lines.
* In ''VideoGame/NetHack'', imps will often have lines such as "I first mistook thee for a statue, when I regarded thy head of stone," immediately following their hit messages.
* In ''VideoGame/SleepingDogs'', Sifu Kwok will constantly [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fFruTkJOGs belittle protagonist Wei Shen and the other students]] alike when Wei is in a move-training session. (There's also a separate set of lines exclusive to the introductory session.)
-->'''Sifu Kwok during the introductory session:''' ''All men must lose sometimes, but not to American tourists!''
-->'''Sifu Kwok during a move-training session:''' ''You hit with the strength of a porn addict!''
* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'', Kai Leng often taunts Shepard during their fights. In their last fight Shepard taunts back, and Kai Leng proves he can't take what he dishes out.
--> '''Shepard''': "How's the legs? Getting tired?"
--> '''Kai Leng''': "You're still slow, Shepard!"
--> '''Shepard''': "I'm only slow 'cause I'm not ''running''! You ran at the Citadel! You ran at Thessia! ''All you can do is run!''"
--> '''Kai Leng''': "[[LameComeback Sh-shut up!]]"
* In ''VideoGame/TimeGal'', Reika, the PlayerCharacter, often taunts whatever is chasing her. For example, while being chased by bugs in the year 4000, she says, "This way, this way!"
* The combo breaker system in ''VideoGame/InjusticeGodsAmongUs'' has the characters quip at each other before launching their attacks. Certain character pairings have one or more unique back and forths, which vary even more depending on which character initiates the combo breaker. Needless to say, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gujnADvFB8 there are a lot of them.]]
--> '''Lex Luthor:''' You look like a chicken.
--> '''Hawkgirl:''' And you look like an egg.
** A more direct example:
---> '''Harley Quinn:''' You fight like my grandma!
---> '''Nightwing:''' You fought your grandma?!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* In one episode of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' Caboose uses some bizarre ones, such as "Your soul is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!" and "Your brain is a mountain of lies!" This while using what was assuredly a form of autohypnosis to turn himself into a killing machine. Sarge was quite impressed.
--> Caboose: My name is Michael J. Caboose! [[PreAssKickingOneLiner And I]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny HATE BABIES!]]
* One segment in ''This Spartan Life'' (A Halo 2-3 machinima series) is called Body Count and is a debate staged in a Halo competitive match where the combat flow is based on who is winning the arguments.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WebComics]]
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
** Elan takes a prestige class called the "Dashing Swordsman", effectively this trope in a nutshell. It can teach you to "[[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0390.html harness your natural charm to turn you into a real bonafide, wisecracking, swashbuckling, damsel-saving action hero!]]" In fact, the quipping is shown to be an absolutely necessary part of the class's abilities. When Elan fights so many enemies that he winds up reusing a pun, his attacks suddenly cease to do any amount of real damage. Elan also discovers the hard way that if his target is too stupid to understand the quip, it doesn't count. An effective counter to his style is best delivered with [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0761.html an effective counter to his puns]].
** Tarquin is also [[{{Foreshadowing}} familiar with the technique]], and he and Elan provide the first real back-and-forth pun duel in the series. [[spoiler:It's later revealed that Tarquin's former opponent was the very person who mentored Elan, Julio Scoundrl -- and when it comes to puns, he's in an entirely different league to either of them.]]
** On the other side, [[LaughablyEvil Xykon]] isn't too bad either -- he makes puns and jokes and mocks his foes as he ''completely demolishes them''.
** Roy also plays this pretty straight sometimes, especially when he fights Miko for the last time. "Treasure Type O", anyone?
** Also somehow reversed by Vaarsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0010.html putting a bunch of goblins to sleep]] via his/her pre-fight speech.
* ''AntiheroForHire''
** During [[http://www.antiheroforhire.com/d/20051130.html a fight]] between Dragon and Crossroad, the latter proposes to the other to "skip the skill insults since they are obviously very good," to which Dragon agrees.
** Shadehawk's favorite weapons are his big mouth, IndyPloy and [[{{BFG}} Silver Arrow]], exactly in that order
* Webcomic/DominicDeegan's father is a master of this kind of thing -- the family is famed for their horrible puns.
* ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'': Ninjas [[http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/4p8 seem to be subject to this]], too.
* In ''Webcomic/GeorgeTheDragon'' we get to see [[http://www.drunkduck.com/George_the_Dragon/index.php?p=487399 a very fishy version of this trope.]] This banter goes on for several pages.
* [[http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0393.html Used by]] ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids'', complete with references to ''Monkey Island'', ''Pirates of the Carribean'' and ''Princess Bride'' and linking to this trope in TheRant.
* ''Webcomic/CheshireCrossing''
** A SwordFight between LaughablyEvil villain [[Literature/PeterPan Captain Hook]] and LoveableRogue the [[Literature/AliceInWonderland Jack of Hearts]] naturally leads to this sort of thing:
-->'''Hook:''' Nice {{eyepatch|OfPower}}. You'd make a good pirate.\\
'''Jack:''' Nice hook. You'd make a bad [[GenderVocabularySlip masseuse]].\\
'''Hook:''' All those pink hearts don't exactly inspire terror.\\
'''Jack:''' [[LameComeback ... Shut up]]!
* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' main LoveTriangle [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100430 presents]] a variation:
-->"You fight like '''''ducks!'''''"
* ''Webcomic/{{Spacetrawler}}'', every single time Growp and Emily fight.
-->'''Growp:''' And your death can only be art if the kill is made [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou by the master skill of a hand as poetic as mine]].\\
'''Emily:''' Your flesh hand must be the poetic one... ''[rips Growp's cyborg hand out of its socket]'' the bionic one's better at long division.
* In ''Webcomic/{{Seekers}}'', Errol trash talks this way during the duels.
* ''Webcomic/OnePieceGrandLine3Point5'' handles the first Luffy vs. Buggy fight like this, referencing VideoGame/MonkeyIsland in the process.
* ''Webcomic/SandraAndWoo'' has this in [[http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2012/06/11/0384-three-extra-points/ this]] comic. Cloud and Theo insult one another, but Theo's hurts Cloud's feelings.
--> Cloud: You�re so ugly that even Larisa wouldn�t give you a kiss on the cheek!
--> Theo: Your mom is a coward who abandoned her home country to live an easy life in America.
--> Cloud: I...I am hurt.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Given a ShoutOut in the web series ''WebVideo/DoomsdayArcade'', where the main character is fighting Nefarious, who quips, "You fight like a dairy farmer," to which Lund responds:
-->'''Lund:''' How appropriate. You fight like a yogurt.
* The theme of the Britanick episode "OLS" -- it's an infomercial for a company that provides witty one-liners on the fly.
* Almost the trademark of Chaka in the Literature/WhateleyUniverse. She even uses it as a very effective distraction during "Parents' Day" when a team of mutant superpowered ninjas attacks.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSpectacularSpiderMan'' proves it ''is'' possible to quip that much in real-time!
** "Group Therapy." When black-suited Spidey handily defeats the Six, he doesn't speak, prompting Dr. Octopus to comment that this time the hero is serious about what he's doing. However, [[spoiler:Peter wakes up the next morning with no memory of the fight--the suit had used his body after he fell asleep. Thus proving that Spidey really does only shut up when he's unconscious.]]
** Lampshaded earlier in the series when Dr. Octopus, fed up with the one liners, asks Spider-Man if it is really necessary to quip as much as he does during the fight.
-->'''Dr. Octopus:''' Do you ''ever'' shut up?!\\
'''Spider-Man:''' Sorry, no. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall My fans]] expect a certain amount of [[BuffySpeak quippage]] in every battle.
** Doubles as a LampshadeHanging, FandomNod, or... something, as it came out not long after ''SpiderMan3.'' One oft-mentioned downside to the Raimi Spidey trilogy is the absence of Spidey's trademark battle banter.
** The Green Goblin is as bad as Spider-Man in this version, matching him bad joke for bad joke.
** Venom is ''even worse'' than Spider-Man. The webslinger himself [[HypocriticalHumor gets sick of it]] and screams at the symbiote/host duo to "just shut up". Venom's response: "That Spidey, he can quip it out, ''but he can't take it!''"
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Spider-Man The Animated Series}}'' comes close to referencing this trope by name [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCzi334d9OM here]]
-->'''Tombstone:''' Come down here and fight like a man!\\
'''Spider-Man''': I don't suppose I could convince you to come up here and fight like a spider?
** There was one episode of Spider-Man where he loses his powers, tries to show up and deal with the bad guys, fails badly, and the bad guys conclude "This must be a fake -- he didn't try to insult us."
* Used hilariously in SouthPark by [[MakesSenseInContext Russel Crowe while he's beating up some random basketball players.]]
-->'''Russel Crowe:''' ''YOU FIGHT LIKE NORWEGIANS, YA FARIES!!''
* Terry [=McGinnis=] in ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond'' develops a tendency to taunt his opponents which differs from the normally [[TheStoic stoic]] Franchise/{{Batman}}. [[MissionControl Bruce]] doesn't seem to mind. He [[Awesome/BatmanBeyond uses this to great effect]] against [[spoiler: ''the Joker'', realizing that while Bruce refusing to laugh might be partially effective, the one thing the Clown King can't stand is being heckled.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom''
** Lampshaded when, during the episode "Beauty Marked," Danny runs out of quips while fighting a medieval executioner ghost.
-->'''Danny:''' Come on, Guys, cut me some slack! ''(pause)'' Hey! Another axe pun!
** From "Shades of Grey," after the ghost dog bursts into the school cafeteria:
-->'''Danny:''' Who let the dogs in? ''(Sam stares)'' [[DontExplainTheJoke See, the song is "Who Let The Dogs Out," but I said "Who Let the Dogs In."]] ''(Sam continues to stare)'' I'll be right back.\\
'''Sam:''' Bring some new jokes!
* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans'' Raven briefly fights Jinx during which Jinx says "you fight like a boy."
* In the ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGalaxyRangers'' episode "Mindnet", Shane Gooseman and Ryker Kilbane are fighting for [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Her Majesty's]] amusement, and Killbane is getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights.
-->'''Kilbane:''' You're finished! Stand still!\\
'''Shane:''' Fighting you ''is'' like standing still.
* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/StreetFighter'', Fei Long insults the crap out of Ken who replies "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECJND35o7RU And you... You're a loser!]] But I'M... a star!"
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'': In one episode, [[TheHero Aang]] taunts [[DiscOneFinalBoss Admiral Zhao]] so Zhao will get increasingly angry and burn his fleet of river boats with errant fire blasts.
-->'''Aang:''' Ahoy! I'm Admiral Zhao! (''proceeds to moon him'')
[[/folder]]

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You trope like a [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment fingerless whale]]!
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