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[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/{{Minus}} http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/youandwhatarmy2_184.jpg]]]]

->''"The trouble is, when you say to a general 'You and whose army?', he just has to point out of the window."''
-->-- '''Major Clarkston''', ''Discworld/MonstrousRegiment''
%% One quote is sufficient. Please place additional entries on the quotes tab.

Somebody retorts to some threat, request, or demand with "Oh yeah? ''You and what army?''" The phrase is supposed to be one of defiance, as if to say it will ''take'' an army to stop/defeat them. Usually come in three tastes:

# The most common version: listener cues/points at ''the'' army, usually followed by "''This'' army."
** A (generally comedic) variation is to have tanks or helicopters come over a hill a beat after the question is asked and the person saying "Oh, ''that'' army".
# If the listener is feeling confident they will simply say, "[[OneManArmy I'm the army.]]" or in a punny form, [[MeetMyGoodFriendsLeftyAndRighty point at their arm and say "THIS army!]]"
# In a rare situation, the listener turns back to where the army was, only to find that they have [[CavalryRefusal run off]] or [[CavalryBetrayal turned against him]].

A form of TemptingFate, and one of those {{Stock Phrase}}s that will have teammates, and oneself, yelling "YouJustHadToSayIt, didn't you?!" For obviously related reasons, liable to ThreatBackfire.



[[folder:Comic Books]]
* In the second issue of ''ComicBook/MarvelAdventures: Hulk'', Jamie Madrox, [[MesACrowd the Multiple Man]], expresses his disappointment that the thugs he's about to beat up didn't use this line. In ''ComicBook/XFactor'' (current Series) #6, they do.
* Part I of the ''ComicBook/TheCartoonHistoryOfTheUniverse'' uses this phrase exactly in a footnote about physical changes in human beings over time. After explaining that human skulls were twice as thick before the Neolithic Revolution as afterward, Gonick goes on to say that this is characteristic of domesticated animals; i.e. that humans had also domesticated themselves. This leads to this exchange between two men shaking hands, smiling, and holding weapons behind their backs:
-->'''Man with dagger:''' Please, let us settle our differences by '''civilized means'''.\\
'''Man with spear:''' You and what army?
* In ''ComicBook/{{Bone}}'', variant three is employed when a Rat Creature army encounters the Red Dragon. After a short round of posturing from the Rat Creature leader and a BadassBoast from the Dragon, the Rat Creature attempts to rally his army only to turn around and discover he hasn't got one any more.
-->'''Rat Creature:''' Stay back, Worm! Our numbers are too great, even for you!\\
'''Red Dragon:''' Funny you should mention that -- how many warriors ''do'' you have between here and the waterfall? A thousand? Two thousand?\\
'''Rat Creature:''' We're not afraid of you!\\
'''Red Dragon:''' Who's "we"?
* Scrooge [=McDuck=], in ''ComicBook/TheLifeAndTimesOfScroogeMcDuck'', has been known to ask "You and what glee-club?"
* Happens between the ComicBook/TeenTitans and Franchise/{{Justice League|OfAmerica}} in ''JLA/Titans - The Technus Imperative''.
* A variation in Comicbook/{{New 52}}'s ''Franchise/WonderWoman'', as War battles with First Born:
-->'''War:''' You see, it's not only you with an army.\\
'''First Born:''' Bah! What soldiers would follow you, old man?\\
'''War:''' All of them.\\
([[spoiler:''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome War summons an army of ghostly soldiers from across all of history.]]'']])
* In ''ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan Team Up'' #9, Otto asks this of a mole in his Spiderlings. The answer?
-->'''Mole:''' Your own! HAHAHAHAHA! ''[cue two page spread of him, ComicBook/{{Daredevil}}, and ComicBook/ThePunisher surrounded by Otto's men wearing stolen supervillain gear]''
* From the ''ComicBook/NintendoComicsSystem'' Game Boy series story "It's a Small World After All," we have this:
-->'''Pionpi:''' ''[referring to Mario]'' Get him!\\
'''Mario:''' You and what army?\\
'''Pionpi:''' ''[as all of Tatanga's minions surround Mario]'' This army! Tatanga's!\\
'''Mario:''' [[OhCrap Oh.]]

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'':
** [[http://garfield.com/comic/1979/02/11 In one strip]], Garfield asks that question when Jon says he'll give Garfield a bath. [[spoiler:Jon outsmarts Garfield and he ends up not needing one]].
** [[http://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1989/04/09 Garfield is in the middle of asking this]] to a kid whose sandwich he stole when he notices the bear behind him.
** Creator/JimDavis' other work, ''ComicStrip/USAcres'', had this instance: Orson once used hypnosis to make Wade no longer afraid of anything. The first sign it was working was when Wade responded to a command by asking "You and what army, waller breath"?

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* In ''Fanfic/TheSwarmOfWar'', [[AssholeVictim Elegas]] and Elric have the exchange word for word.
* In the second story of the ''FanFic/FacingTheFutureSeries'', Desiree says to Sam that in order to beat her and the other ghosts holding Danny, she'd need one of these. Cue Frostbite, his people, and [[OppositeSexClone Danielle]].
* ''FanFic/AShadowOfTheTitans'': [[WesternAnimation/TeenTitans Brother Blood]] asks this of [[spoiler: [[WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures the Oni]]]] when they invade the HIVE and demand his surrender. Their response is to [[spoiler: summon their Shadowkhan armies.]]
-->[[spoiler: '''Tarakudo''']]: [[LampshadeHanging I was so hoping you would say that.]]
* In ''Fanfic/FateStayNightUltimateMaster'', Ben taunts Caster with this line. In response, she summons several skeletal warriors. Ben comments that he walked right into that one.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10836553/9/Harry-Five-0 Harry Five-0]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' Put the gun down before I put you down.\\
'''Nick Taylor:''' You and what army?\\
'''Harry:''' No Army... just a Navy.\\
[Floodlights reveal a Navy helicopter fifty meters away]
* ''[[http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-29705-7/SSanchez+Harry+s+New+Mum.htm Harry's New Mum]]'':
-->'''Cornelius Fudge:''' How dare you?\\
'''Giles:''' No Minister, the question is how dare you treat human beings in this way? How dare you resist this change? I will give you one day to respond to our request and then we will take over your prison.\\
'''Cornelius Fudge:''' You and what army? You have one Slayer, and one traitorous abomination.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9212592/16/Secundum-Vita Secundum Vita]]'':
-->'''Random witch:''' You Muggles have no place being here and will leave now or I promise you a lot of pain.\\
'''Ellen Granger:''' You and what army [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5682705/32/Cooking-Lesson Cooking Lesson]]'':
-->'''Snape:''' We will leave, but we are taking all the animals with us. And furthermore, you are banned from ever owning a pet again.\\
'''Irresponsible pet owner:''' You think you can take them do you? You and whose fucking army?\\
'''Sirius:''' I'd trust him over an army any day of the week.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5281384/1/A-slave-for-you A Slave For You]]'' a botched love potion makes Draco Harry's slave, with the added twist that if they don't have sex [[MateOrDie Draco will die]]. Draco's father insists that they need to do it in front of witnesses.
-->'''Lucius:''' I will make you.\\
'''Harry:''' You and what army.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10340937/7/The-Return-Remixed The Return-Remixed]]'', after Wrestling/{{Natalya}} said she would do anything it took to stop DEAR, Wrestling/TrishStratus said, "You and what army?", pointing out all the women DEAR had taken out. At the time, Nattie's backup was only [[NewMeat AJ Lee and Kaitlyn]], but would foreshadow the other Divas forming their own group, the Diva Army.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10931629/1/Kill-Cormac Kill Cormac]]'':
-->'''Cormac:''' You're throwing away the game.\\
'''Ginny:''' No, that's what you did by knocking out our star seeker. If I see your face again today it will be with a beater's bat being slammed into it over and over! Then I'll be taking out my wand!\\
'''Cormac:''' You and what army?\\
'''Ginny:''' The army of Gryffindor Quidditch fans!
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3822327/6/A-Friend-Indeed A Friend Indeed]]'':
-->'''Sirius:''' Harry? This is your last warning. If you don't get up now, you will be sorry.\\
'''Harry:''' Right. You and whose army?

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'' inverts the usual setup and goes for the rare third taste. Shrek says this to the leader of a group of soldiers, who turns around and sees his entire army has fled in terror of Shrek. He does the same.
* ''WesternAnimation/OpenSeason'':
-->'''Boog:''' Yeah? You and what army?\\
'''Squirrel Army:''' Reporting!\\
'''Boog:''' Oh. That army.
* ''WesternAnimation/RecessSchoolsOut'': The BigBad, [[spoiler:Philliam Benedict]], asks [[spoiler:Ms. Finster that very question. Then, the army of teachers swarms in]].
* ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda2''. After a long ChaseScene Po has just defeated the Wolf Boss, and says, "Next time you mess with a panda you better bring a whole [[OhCrap arrrrrrrrhhhh!]]" as he realises their fight has carried them into the palace which a rather large wolf army is guarding.
* Said by Chakal in ''WesternAnimation/TheBookOfLife''. [[spoiler:Cue the Sanchez ancestors.]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* Played straight with ''Film/TheAdventuresOfSharkboyAndLavagirl''. When the trio declares to Mr. Electric that they will stop his evil plans, Mr. Electric replies with this, and an army of plughounds soon show up.
* ''Film/PaulBlartMallCop'' has the head mall security guy asking this of ''the leader of the New Jersey National Guard''. Three guesses how that works out.
* ''[[Film/TheLordOfTheRings The Return of the King]]'' (Extended Edition): The Corsair captain asks Aragorn this question when he, Legolas and Gimli board their ships. Aragorn's response? "''[[CavalryOfTheDead This army]].''"
* [[spoiler:Cobra Commander]], in a legendary moment of GenreBlindness, says this to ''Duke'' of all people in ''Film/GIJoeTheRiseOfCobra''. It's worth noting that Duke was practically asking him to say it and when Joes suddenly show and surround the fugitives, Duke responds with satisfaction, "MY army!"
* Hugh asks Bowen this question in ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''. In reply, Draco appears.
* ''Film/AcesGoPlaces''
-->'''Mook:''' Wait right here. I'll get my guys after you.\\
'''King Kong:''' Your guys? (''chases him down the stairs, and runs back up in horror as there actually were more guys downstairs'')
* In ''Film/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Part 2'', Neville Longbottom completes his transformation into a badass when he says this to [[PreAsskickingOneLiner taunt the Death Eaters]] when they try to get past the protective enchantments [[spoiler:and three of them end up ''disintegrating''.]] It's all the more awesome considering Neville says this to about ''a thousand'' Death Eaters who are inches away from attacking.
* ''Film/{{Anaconda}}'': During a verbal spat between Ice Cube's character and Westridge, the latter makes this retort after Cube told him he could kill him without breaking a sweat. Cube just counter-replies with YourMom.

* There's a well-known joke about the U.S. President that says "Never challenge a man who can answer the question 'You and what army?'" or a variant thereof.

* Lampshaded in the ''Literature/HorribleHistories'' book ''The USA'', in the chapter about UsefulNotes/TheAmericanRevolution:
-->'''The Governor:''' This is revolution. We're going to stop you!\\
'''American Settler:''' Oh yeah? You and what army?\\
'''The Governor:''' Er... the British Army, actually.
* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}''
** ''Discworld/NightWatch'': "Yeah? You and what army?" "Mine, as a matter of fact."
** ''Discworld/MonstrousRegiment'', as seen in the page quote.
** In ''Discworld/CarpeJugulum'', Nanny Ogg reflects that this is a bad line to use when arguing with a king. So is "Who died and left you in charge?" Of course, the king himself is careful about answering this question, since his standing army consists solely of Nanny Ogg's son.
* In the ''Franchise/StarWarsExpandedUniverse'', this line goes: [[HoldYourHippogriffs "You and what Sith Lord?"]]
* In ''Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain'', Scott Adams writes that one of his wishes to become rich enough to hire a private army and a private island for them to march on solely to subvert this phrase.
* In the climax of ''Literature/HeartOfSteel'', Alistair has brought his army of dire wolves and robots as backup when he fights Cyborg!Jim, and therefore easily answers Jim's challenge when asked.
* ''Wildwood'' by Colin Meloy.

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* Said by a villain in an episode of ''Series/{{Chuck}}''. It turns out, a platoon of ''the'' U.S. Army, [=APCs=] and all, were waiting outside to arrest him and his men, in a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
* ''Series/SaturdayNightLive''
** Sketch: Abraham Lincoln is in Ford's Theater watching a play, and is acting in a rude and obnoxious manner.
--->'''Theatre patron:''' (''DeepSouth accent'') Will you shut up, suh?\\
'''Abraham Lincoln:''' Hey, hey, you gonna do something about it?\\
'''Theatre patron:''' I may, suh!\\
'''Abraham Lincoln:''' Yeah, you and what Confederate Army, cracker-barrel?\\
'''Theatre patron:''' I warned you, suh!\\
'''Abraham Lincoln:''' Yeah, well, why don't you come up here and do somethin'? What, what are you gonna do, shoot me, pal, huh?\\
'''Host:''' And the rest is history.
** Decades ago, when the fake Hitler diaries showed up, ''Saturday Night Live'' had a sketch with Hitler recounting events in his diary. One event was one where he said something like, "I'll show you!" and the other guy replied, "Yeah? You and what army?"
** When Richard Pryor hosted in 1975, one demand was that Garrett Morris, the sole black cast member, should be the one to say "Live from New York", something usually done by Chevy Chase. The ColdOpening is that Chase has not been informed of this, as Garrett enters, playing the same role. A short argument occurs, as Garrett is whispering to Chevy. Chevy answers with the line, Garrett whispers again, Chevy looks concerned. "Oh, that army..."
* Played perfectly straight in ''Series/{{Primeval}}'':
-->'''Connor:''' I've come for the lizard.\\
'''Asshole:''' Cost you three grand.\\
'''Connor:''' How about you bring him here and give him to me, or I go in and get him?\\
'''Asshole:''' You and whose army?\\
''[Connor stands to one side, revealing Becker and two other squaddies standing around casually]''\\
'''Connor:''' Mine, actually.
* The ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' episode "Lovers Walk". Spike is threatening Joyce in the kitchen of Buffy's home:
-->'''Angel:''' You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!\\
'''Spike:''' Yeah? You and what army?\\
'''Buffy:''' [[WalkInChimeIn That would be me.]]
* In ''Series/TorchwoodChildrenOfEarth'':
-->'''Prime Minister Brian Green:''' You and whose army?\\
'''Lois Habiba:''' Torchwood.
* Variant on ''Series/DoctorWho'': Amy finds a Cyberman head that still manages to be a threat thanks to CombatTentacles. After she gets some distance...
-->'''Cyberman:''' [[TheAssimilator You will be assimilated.]]\\
'''Amy:''' You and whose body?\\
(''[[TemptingFate The rest of the Cyberman walks in and picks up its head]]'')
* In ''Series/MindYourLanguage'', Mr. Brown realises that the headmistress is about to be conned, and confronts the ConMan by himself - "what army" turns out to be all his male students standing there and looking menacing.
* In ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', the episode "The Defector" has Commander Tomalak smugly imply this when he has the ''Enterprise'' outgunned by two Romulan Warbirds. Picard simply responds by signalling ''three'' Klingon Warbirds to drop their cloak, revealing they've got the Romulans flanked.

[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
* As he leads the Flood to destroy Wrestling/{{Chikara}} for good, Wrestling/JimmyJacobs mocks Icarus for going to war without an army, since he was only standing against the Flood with seven other wrestlers, or so Jacobs thought. Turns out [[Wrestling/KaijuBigBattel Dr. Cube]]'s contributions to the Flood force [[ReverseMole were really Chikara regulars in disguise.]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* "Nightmare Harvest", a user-made mod for ''VideoGame/ShadowrunReturns'', features a hilarious example. For context, the player has just accepted the offer of immense power from a nigh-omnipotent dragon, and is now facing a huge squad of cops intent on killing them. This is one way the conversation can pan out.
-->'''Lone Star Leader:''' Kill me? You and what army?\\
'''Player:''' This army. ''[[BadassFingerSnap [snaps fingers]]]''\\
'''Lone Star Leader:''' .......\\
'''Lone Star Mook:''' .......\\
'''Lone Star Leader:''' [[FailedAttemptAtDrama Is something going to happen?]]\\
'''Player:''' [[WrongGenreSavvy I was sort of hoping it would, yeah.]]\\
'''Lone Star Leader:''' Uh....you know you have to set that up in advance, right?
* At the end of ''VideoGame/DayOfTheTentacle'', the Purple Tentacle reveals his army of Purple Tentacles pulled from various points in the timeline.
* ''VideoGame/BattlefieldBadCompany'' had its explosives expert, Haggard, taunt a helicopter using this. He AlwaysWantedToSayThat. Of course they were surrounded by an army. Yeah, he ''really'' wanted to say that. The army they just defected from, in fact.
* In ''Franchise/StarWars Starfighter'', Nym and Vana Sage have this exchange after Vana had sold him out:
-->'''Nym:''' You and whose army?\\
'''Vana:''' Yours.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Oni}}'' for the [=PS2=], if you let your former boss live, despite the fact that he tried to murder you and turned your loli robot handler into an "put me out of my misery" weapon, Then at the end of the game your brother, the BigBad looks to you with his goons as you stand on the rooftop and says "You think you can defeat me? You and what army?" Cue choppers rising up from the side of the building and your commander pointing at your brother and his forces as your backup leaps down to help you in the final battle. If you don't save your former boss you have to face your brother as a giant monster.
* ''VideoGame/MonkeyIsland'': Guybrush Threepwood can have this as one of [[DialogueTree his options]] after [[ButtMonkey Wally]] threatens him in ''VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland''.
-->'''Guybrush:''' You and what navy?
* ''VideoGame/{{Fallout}}''
** In ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'', depending on the ending and choices taken, the player can have a army of Securitrons (Elite MechaMooks) to be used in "negotiating" with [[TheFederation The NCR]].
** In ''VideoGame/{{Fallout|1}}'' a dialogue option with one of raider leader's bodyguards when she informs you she'll kill you if you cause trouble: "Yeah, you and which army?" -- she's recruited Smith and Wesson.
* Over the radio in the second mission of ''VideoGame/SaintsRowTheThird'':
-->'''Philippe Loren:''' I am going to cut your disrespectful tongue from your mouth.\\
'''Johnny Gat:''' Oh yeah? You and how many of your... (''{{beat}}'') [[OhCrap Oh, that many.]]
* "You and what army?" is a preloaded taunt in ''VideoGame/AgeOfEmpiresII''. The next taunt is "Oh. That army."
* The {{Tagline}} for ''VideoGame/ClashOfClans'' is "You and this army."
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNG_szaXNNU second trailer]] for ''VideoGame/MassEffectAndromeda'' includes the apparently OrphanedPunchline of the male Ryder twin saying "I don't need an army, I have a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy krogan]]."
* ''VideoGame/{{Terraria}}'': One of the achievements in-game is titled this, which requires you to have nine minions at once.

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has this asked just before the page image for HiddenArmyReveal occurs. ("[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well, I guess I walked right into that one.]]")

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* [[http://kiwisbybeat.16mb.com/Kiwis/minus98.html The page picture]], from ''Webcomic/{{Minus}}'', which demonstrates why you don't want to ask such a question of a RealityWarper.
* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'':
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-24 In one strip]], it's a business-card which explains exactly what army, but it still has much the same effect.
** The first variant is employed straight in [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-02-26 another strip]]. Given that the character asked was a general in the UNS military, they really should have seen that one coming.
* [[http://yeti.comicgenesis.com/d/20050811.html Parodied]] in the webcomic ''Webcomic/PatchworkHeroes''.
-->'''Guard captain:''' (''to prisoners'') All of you. The Emperor commands your presence?\\
'''Adam:''' Him and what army?\\
'''Guard captain:''' Um... the Muroshi army.\\
'''Tarn:''' Adam...\\
'''Adam:''' I'm sorry, it just slipped out.
* In ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'', the "army" is the one with the comeback: [-"Oh... that would be ''me''."-]
* ''Webcomic/{{Erfworld}}''
** Inverted:
--->'''[[spoiler:Decrypted Ansom]]:''' We will conquer the whole world.\\
'''Parson:''' Oh, c'mon. "Conquer the world." Right, with what--\\
''[Wanda reanimates a massive crowd [[spoiler:with the Arkenpliers]]]''\\
'''Parson:''' --army.
** Possible example; Ansom has approached Jetstone with what appears to be his usual choice of units, Infantry and Siege. Ossomer mocks him for using the same old tactics;
--->'''Ossomer:''' You made it easy! Bringing your usual siege-heavy infantry assault? Come now, Ansom. Someday, you must develop some tactical imagination!\\
'''Ansom:''' (''to one of his "soldiers"'') Dispel the [[MasterOfIllusion veil]].\\
(''the siege units are revealed to be dwagons, and there are now archons among the infantry'')
* ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids'', [[http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0276.html "Episode 276: Gloat 'n' Free"]].
* ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'', [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/08/13/episode-1162-semantics/ describing the]] "[[DysfunctionJunction army]]".
* ''Webcomic/YetAnotherFantasyGamerComic'': [[http://yafgc.net/comic/0244-grave-reinforcements/ Strip 244]]: "[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Grave Reinforcements]]".
-->'''Captain Matheson:''' Who, you and your piddly little cog crew? Come now, Fang. We outnumber you three to one.\\
'''Arachne:''' Truuuuuuue. But do you outnumber ''them''? (''points'')
* ''Webcomic/BobAndGeorge'': Bob's [[http://www.bobandgeorge.com/archives/040816 army of Robot Masters.]] [[http://www.bobandgeorge.com/archives/040817 It's pretty big.]]
* This trope is used in ''Webcomic/GeorgeTheDragon'' as [[http://www.drunkduck.com/George_the_Dragon/index.php?p=473981 King Dale the Lobster]] attempts to dismiss a threat from another kingdom.
* ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' has Gerald, ex-not-quite-boyfriend of Nanase who threw a tantrum on account of meeting her on a double date. When told off by the third party, he [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2011-09-29 slipped into "tough guy" posturing and uttered this one]]. He only had to shift focus...
* Played with in ''Webcomic/LifeAndDeath'', [[http://www.drunkduck.com/Life_and_Death/5316258/ here]]. Not an army, but a [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever giant squid,]] and the person doing the asking is already ''highly'' aware of the squid, but was just trying to make a joke.
* [[http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/view.php?series=amd&ep=1&id=7 Played with in]] ''Webcomic/AModestDestiny''.
-->'''Maxim:''' You and who's army?\\
'''Morris:''' Why, the army of {{Ninja}}s I brought along. Actually, I'm suprised you didn't seem them stand behi-- (''turns around and sees Maxim performed his trademark DecoyGetaway while Morris was looking at the ninja'') [[GoshDarnItToHeck Poop.]]
* A recent ''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}'' strip has the title alien ask this of his former-minion-turned-[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot robotic-space-pirate]]. Turns out he actually had some very polite MechaMooks waiting in the wings. Maybe not the world's most intimidating army, but still effective enough...

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans'':
-->'''Beast Boy:''' Oh, yeah? You and what army? ''[an army of fire creatures appears; Beast Boy [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams]]]''\\
'''Cyborg:''' [[YouJustHadToSayIt You just had to ask, didn't ya?]]
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
** When the Griffins form their own nation-state in the episode "E. Peterbus Unum":
--->'''Chris:''' Dad, I tried to go to school, but this guy won't let me.\\
'''Peter:''' Oh yeah? Him and what army?\\
'''Chris:''' The U.S. Army. (''points to tanks and soldiers on the other side of the fence'')\\
'''Peter:''' Oh, that's a good army.
** Also in ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuyPresentsLaughItUpFuzzball'', Luke says "Oh yeah? You and what lightning hands?" to the Emperor. Predictably, the Emperor [[ShockAndAwe demonstrates the validity of Luke's sarcastic retort]].
* Seen in ''WesternAnimation/TheTick'' before a MadScientist attacks with a horde of elephant, mongols and ninja.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
** Seen in the early episode "Bart the General".
** And a later one, "Mountain of Madness". Homer and Burns are in a cold cabin, slowly going mad. Eventually, Burns snaps and threatens to kill Homer. Homer responds with this... and then imagines an army of snowmen wearing army helmets supporting Mr. Burns. His response? Scream and claim he has special powers, ''Political'' powers. Then Burns imagines the ghosts of world leaders backing Homer up.
* The last episode of ''WesternAnimation/MegasXLR'' had some fun with this. When main character Coop popped the question, he was already inside the fortress that was clearly holding the army in question.
* Used for a [[IncrediblyLamePun pun]] in ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'':
-->'''Angelica:''' You and what army?\\
'''Susie:''' ''[makes a fist]'' Me and ''this'' arm-y!
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Talespin}}'': "You and what army?" "Shere Khan's."
* ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheBraveAndTheBold'': "Never ask that question, Speedy."
* Used in a ''WesternAnimation/CelebrityDeathmatch'' episode, where "Weird Al" Yankovic asks that of Al Gore, who replies with "the United States Army". Of course, the guys who immediately pounce on "Weird Al" are Secret Service, not US Army.
* In ''WesternAnimation/JimmyTwoShoes'', Beezy often asked this question to his father Lucius, ruler of Miseryville.
-->'''Beezy:''' ''[to Lucius]'' You never get tired of that one, do you?
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters'', when fighting the Boogieman:
-->'''Egon:''' You go on ahead. I'll hold him off.\\
'''Peter:''' Yeah? You and what Starfleet?
** That same variation of the joke appeared in the ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'' episode "Her Brother's Keeper" (which happened to have the same writer, Michael Reaves).
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheTransformers'', Megatron using this line while smacking Starscream around is actually what gave the latter the idea of building the Combaticons, converting abandoned WWII military vehicles into Decepticons.
* An episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Ben 10}}'' has this exchange when Dr. Animo announces that he plans on [[TakeOverTheWorld taking his over the world]] using a mutant Lepidopterran he created out of Ditto's [=DNA=]. Ben asks him this question and Animo responds "this one" as the Lepidopterran clones itself into an army just like Ditto.
* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'':
** In the episode "Plankton's Army".
--->'''Plankton:''' ''[over megaphone]'' Attention Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking.\\
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What?! ''[Plankton is standing outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone]''\\
'''Plankton:''' ''[over megaphone]'' I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! ''[Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton]''\\
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah, you and what army, bug?\\
'''Plankton:''' What army? What army?! Look around ya, Krabs! ''[scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something green]''\\
'''Mr. Krabs:''' ...Ya planted grass?\\
'''Plankton:''' GRASS? ''[starts laughing maniacally, joined by his family]''\\
'''Mr. Krabs:''' [[OhCrap Uh-oh.]]
** In the episode "One Krab's Trash", when Mr. Krabs was trying to steal a rare hat from a skeleton, the skeleton demanded the hat back, to which Mr. Krabs asked this question. The skeleton's answer? "Only the army of the living dead."
* An episode of ''WesternAnimation/SheepInTheBigCity'' had General Specific asking this to his IdenticalGrandson. The response is "My army, of course!"
* In the ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' episode "Hot Buttered Eds":
-->'''Sarah:''' HEY!! Get outta our spot!\\
'''Eddy:''' You and who's army?\\
'''Edd:''' [[OneManArmy You'd think you would've learned by now, Eddy...]]
* ''WesternAnimation/XiaolinShowdown'', when Jack Spicer arrives at the temple to distract the monks while [[BigBad Chase Young]] goes after the [[GottaCatchEmAll Eagle Scope Shen Gong Wu]]. He announces his intention to take the temple, and the following dialogue ensues;
-->'''Raimundo:''' Oh Yeah? You and What army?\\
'''Jack Spicer:''' I was hoping you'd say that...
* Used as a throwaway gag in ''WesternAnimation/SpaceGhostCoastToCoast'', after one of Zorak's regular death threats against the host:
-->'''Space Ghost:''' Yeah, you and what army?\\
'''Zorak:''' The, uh... the Music/{{Kiss}} Army!\\
'''KISS Army:''' ''[off-camera]'' YEAAAAHHH, DETROIT ROCK CITY!!!
* ''WesternAnimation/BikerMiceFromMars'': When Lawrence Limburger's {{Mooks}} and later Greasepit and Karbunkle went on a strike, he hired someone to train a better team of mooks. Unfortunately, the villain he called decided to overthrow Limburger, who decided to ask the question, and the betrayer showed the new mooks and answered: "YOUR army!"
* ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'':
-->'''Jazz:''' You're toast!\\
'''Danny:''' Yeah? You and what toaster?
* Used humourously in ''WesternAnimation/{{Skunk Fu}}''.
-->'''Baboon:''' ''(as he is recalling his army of ninja monkeys to retreat)'' [[WeWillMeetAgain This isn't over! I shall return with a bigger army and you will all pay!]]
-->'''Pig:''' Oh yeah? You and what army?
-->'''Rabbit:''' [[LampshadeHanging Pig, he just said.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'': Fang, the TokenEvilTeammate of the Mutates, decides he's had enough of Talon's leadership. He sees an opportunity when he finds a hidden cache of advanced weaponry. When Fang announces his intent to overthrow Talon and Talon asks "You and what army?", Fang reveals his now heavily armed Mooks and answers "This one. And our first prisoner of war is you."
* ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse''
** Danger Mouse uses this against his evil alter ego in "The Good, The Bad and the Motionless".
--->'''Evil DM:''' Very clever. But you won't beat me that easy.\\
'''DM:''' Won't I? Who's to stop me?\\
'''Evil DM:''' I am.\\
'''DM:''' Ha! You and whose army?\\
'''Evil DM:''' Me and the army behind ''you!'' (''3 demons appear behind DM'')
** Greenback uses this in "The Dream Machine", a cloud programmed to make anything Penfold says appear:
--->'''DM:''' I've come to take you in.\\
'''Greenback:''' You, and... to use a childish phrase... whose army?\\
'''DM:''' Funny you should say that, Greenback. Look at this! (''a thousand Danger Mouse clones appear from the door'') ...Penfold said "Danger Mouse" one thousand times!
* In the ''WesternAnimation/PennZeroPartTimeHero'' episode "I'm Still Super!" [[CaptainSuperhero Captain Super Captain]] uses this line on his brother, Professor Evil Professor, only to look up and find himself surrounded by [[BrainwashedAndCrazy brainwashed superheroes]].
-->'''Captain Super Captain:''' That's a pretty good army.
* ''WesternAnimation/BackToTheFutureTheAnimatedSeries'' (in the episode "Go Fly a Kite") sees [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Jules]] respond to Verne's threat: "You and what body of organized servicemen?"

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Sometime in 1944-5 UsefulNotes/JosefStalin famously snorted "And how many divisions has ''he''?" upon receiving a communique from Churchill saying that the allied powers 'had to be mindful of the Vatican's power'. While the Vatican had of course fielded large armies containing the equivalent of multiple divisions, especially during its medieval attempts to conquer other Italian states, it had not done so since 1870 - when virtually all its territory had been annexed by Piedmont-Sardinia - and in fact did not have a single soldier in 1944-45: [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway Said 'power' was purely moral-spiritual, such as when the Pope had urged obedience to and later (in 1943) defiance of Mussolini's Fascist regime]]. Interestingly enough Pope John Paul II did, however, [[HeartIsAnAwesomePower reinforce Poland's natural inclination to leave]] the UsefulNotes/WarsawPact [[UsefulNotes/HistoryOfTheColdWar when Gorbachev announced that its members were free to leave]].