About 2-3 pounds! Duh!

Ok, seriously. A henway is a type of joke where the first person in a conversation uses a term in a way that leads the other person to respond with "what's ?". The first person then replies with the punchline (often a pun, although it doesn't have to be.)

Some of the most common henway terms are "way" [[note]]" weigh", answered with a weight[[/note]], "fore" [[note]]" for?" answered with a purpose[[/note]], "do" [[note]]answered with what the thing does[[/note]], "Grecian urn" [[note]]"Grecian earn" -- answer " drachmas a day"[[/note]] and "yoors" or "yaws" [[note]]"yours"; most often found in scenes taking place in bars -- the question "What's yours?" is a standard way of offering to buy the other person's next drink."[[/note]]

Also known as a "Pun Trap". The best way to subvert the standard form if someone tries it on you in RealLife is to ask "What's that?"

A favourite of the PungeonMaster, and of anyone else who has had a bit too much snoo or updog lately.

Just about any KnockKnockJoke is a Henway.

Compare MathematiciansAnswer, NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion, RhetoricalQuestionBlunder, WhosOnFirst.

----
!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* In [[http://youtu.be/ocg7viO0cmw?t=4m31s this ad]], Fozzie Bear recycles bottles, cans, paper and snoo. Then he lampshades the trope at the end.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime]]
* From the dub of ''Anime/WandabaStyle'':
-->'''Ichirin''': Dr. Tsukumo!\\
'''Susumu''': What is it, Ichirin?\\
'''Ichirin''': *camera reveals he has a TV with him* It's a television. Now look at it!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic]]
* Lampshaded in one ''Comicbook/JosieAndThePussycats'' story, Alex Cabot III is kidnapped and held for ransom while the band is at a gig in Greece. As part of the ransom, the payment has to be delivered in an urn. The girls go to a shop, and once they are given one by the shopkeeper...
-->'''Clerk''': And if you say, "What's a Grecian urn" there will be ''war'' between our countries!!
-->'''Melody''': ''(Confused)'' But, I wasn't...
* One strip of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thrud_the_Barbarian Thrud the Barbarian]] had the central character (recast against type as a Renaissance fop) taking a barstool in ye medieval tavern and saying to the next guy along:
-->'''Thrud''': I say, my fellow - have you done your chores?
-->'''Next Guy''': Eh? What chores?
-->'''Thrud''': Mine's a pint - cheers!
* Batman uses the Henway joke in order to defeat a telepathic cyclops, in ''ComicBook/BatmanOdyssey''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Film}} -- Animated]]
* ''Disney/TheLionKing''
-->'''Pumbaa:''' HakunaMatata is our motto.\\
'''Simba:''' What's a motto?\\
'''Timon:''' Nothing! What's-a motto with you?
** Another example comes in one of the short series, ''Around the World with Timon and Pumbaa''.
-->'''Timon:''' (holding up an empty coat-hanger) Here, hold this sarong.\\
'''Pumbaa:''' What sarong?\\
'''Timon:''' Nothing, what's-a wrong with you?
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Rango}}'', the townsfolk explore a cave that one character explains is a dried-up aquifer, which leads to the exchange:
-->"What's an aquifer?"\\
"Well... it's fer aqua!"
* In ''WesternAnimation/SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut'', the Mole, a mercenary working for LaResistance, checks off what the boys needed to get for him:
-->'''Mole:''' Did you get ze mirror?\\
'''Stan:''' Got it.\\
'''Mole:''' And ze rope?\\
'''Stan:''' Check.\\
'''Mole:''' And ze buttfor?\\
'''Kyle:''' What's a buttfor?\\
'''Mole:''' For pooping, silly. *lights and drags on a smoke, presumably celebrating a well-laid trap*
* ''WesternAnimation/ChickenRun'':
-->'''Mr. Tweedy:''' ''(being attacked)'' Mrs. Tweedy! The chickens are revolting!
-->'''Mrs. Tweedy:''' ''(not looking)'' Finally, something we agree on.
* ''WesternAnimation/CloudyWithAChanceOfMeatballs2'':
-->'''Brent:''' Dr. Manny, this is delicious!
-->'''Manny:''' I call it Manny's gorilla stew.
-->'''Brent:''' So how do you make a gorilla stew?
-->'''Manny:''' You keep it waiting for two hours.
* From ''WesternAnimation/YellowSubmarine'', as Old Fred and Ringo walk past a room full of displays:
-->'''Old Fred:''' Say, what would your friends be doing here?
-->'''Ringo:''' Displayin'.
-->'''Old Fred:''' Displayin' what?
-->'''Ringo:''' Displayin' around.
* ''Disney/{{Hercules}}'' has a reference to one of the more well-known ones: "He could tell you what's a Grecian earn!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* The Chevy Chase/Dan Aykroyd movie ''Film/SpiesLikeUs'' includes the following exchange when the two hear a strange loud noise:
-->'''Aykroyd:''' It's a dikfer!\\
'''Chase:''' What's a dikfer?\\
'''Aykroyd:''' To pee with.
* There's a RunningGag like this in ''Film/{{Airplane}}''.
** What is it?
*** It's a movie that stars Robert Hays, Lloyd Bridges, and Creator/LeslieNielsen, but that's not important right now.
** And a [[UpToEleven fully-loaded example]] from ''Film/AirplaneIITheSequel'':
-->'''Witness:''' Striker was the squadron leader. He brought us in real low. But he couldn't handle it.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' Buddy couldn't handle it. Was Buddy one of your crew?\\
'''Witness:''' Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was Striker who couldn't handle it, and he went to pieces.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' Andy went to pieces?\\
'''Witness:''' No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. ''Buddy'' went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' Howie came unglued?\\
'''Witness:''' Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. ''Buddy'' came unglued.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' And he bailed out?\\
'''Witness:''' No. Andy hung tough. ''Buddy'' bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' Then Howie survived?\\
'''Witness:''' No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.\\
'''Prosecutor:''' Over Macho Grande?\\
'''Witness:''' No. I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande. Those wounds run... pretty deep.
* ''Film/BigFish'', is full of tall tales and shaggy dog stories, but there's one simple gag that really stands out.
-->'''Ed Bloom''': It's a metaphor.\\
'''Will Bloom''': ''What's'' a metaphor?!\\
'''Ed Bloom''': Mostly sheep and cows to graze in.
* ''Film/ElviraMistressOfTheDark'' is a HurricaneOfPuns, but one of the most memorable is after the titular character has hit her head on a movie marquee:
-->"How's your head?"\\
"Well, I've never had any complaints..."
* From ''Film/TheMuppetMovie'', where Gonzo suddenly takes to the air at the Bogen County Fair via [[{{Balloonacy}} a bunch of helium balloons]].
-->'''Kermit:''' Gonzo! What are you doing?
-->'''Gonzo:''' About seven knots!
* ''Film/ManOnFire'':
-->'''Pita''': "What's your girlfriend's name?"\\
'''Creasy''': "Nunya."\\
'''Pita''': "Nunya?"\\
'''Creasy''': "Nun-ya-business"
* In some deleted footage for ''Film/LuckyNumberSlevin'', one of The Fairy's bodyguards makes these repeatedly.
* ''Film/AHardDaysNight'':
-->'''Norm''': "Ringo, what are you up to?"
-->'''Ringo''': (peering from magazine) "Page five."
** Also from the same movie:
--->'''Reporter''': How did you find America?
--->'''John''': Turned left at Greenland.
* From ''Film/SpyHard'':
-->'''Agent Bishop:''' Sir, we have intercepted a disturbing video on the rock of Gibraltar.
-->'''The Director:''' Well, what is it?
-->'''Agent Bishop:''' It's this really big rock sticking out of the water on the south coast of Spain.
* From the aftermath of a particularly surprising moment in ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'':
-->'''Oliver:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis W. T. F? W. T. F?]]
-->'''Gary:''' What the fuck does WTF stand for?
-->'''Steve:''' *emerges from hiding* What the fuck?
-->'''Gary:''' Oh yeah.
* From the MarxBrothers' ''Film/AnimalCrackers'', when Admiral Spaulding (Groucho) is proposing to two women at once;
-->'''Mrs. Rittenhouse''': Why, that's bigamy.
-->'''Admiral Spaulding''': Yes, and it's big of me too. It's big of all of us, let's be big for a change.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In the novel ''Fallen Angels'' by Creator/LarryNiven, Jerry Pournelle, and Michael Flynn, an astrophysicist goes to torturous lengths to include the abbreviation SNU (meaning "Solar Neutrino Unit", and pronounced "snew") into a conversation, just so the person he is talking to can ask "What's SNU?" The inevitable response is "Nothing much. What's new with you?"
** The same "joke" was in ''ComicStrip/{{Pogo}}'', with much less setup, starting off, "That's got a lotta snoo to it, boy," and continuing as above.
** Hawkeye set up the same joke in an episode of ''Series/{{MASH}}'', when while doing minor surgery he asked the nurse for "snoo".
* ''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'':
-->They passed a yellow door on which it said: STOREROOM NUMBER 77--ALL THE BEANS, CACAO BEANS, COFFEE BEANS, JELLY BEANS, AND HAS BEANS.\\
"''Has beans?''" cried Violet Beauregarde. \\
"You're one yourself!" said Mr. Wonka. "There's no time for arguing! Press on, press on!"
* In the ''Literature/CallahansCrosstimeSaloon'' story "Two Heads are Better Than One", Jake regales the bar's patrons with a tall tale of his illustrious ancestor Grandfather Stonebender, who "built the pyramids, freed the slaves, cured yaws!" When Mike Callahan gamely asked, "What's yaws?", Jake answered, "Why thanks, Mike, I'll have a beer."
* In ''Literature/TheNameOfTheWind'' by Creator/PatrickRothfuss, the [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} mad girl Auri]] lives in the space beneath the Arcanum, which she calls "the Underthing." When Kvothe asks her to show him around, intending to sneak into the library, she feigns shock at his audacity in asking to see her Underthing.
* Happened once in ''Literature/EncyclopediaBrown''. Someone asked Encyclopedia, "What do you know about Browning?" and Encyclopedia responded, "Not much, I've never browned."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* Subverted in ''Series/RedDwarf''. When Lister is told of an item called a wormdo, instead of asking "What's a wormdo?" ("Wriggles along the ground, of course!"), he derails the joke by asking, "What's that then?"
** And it just goes straight downhill from there.
--> '''Rimmer:''' Would you like a wormdo?
--> '''Lister:''' What's that, then?
--> '''Rimmer:''' What's ''what''?
--> '''Lister:''' A wormdo?
--> '''Rimmer:''' What ''about'' it?
--> '''Lister:''' Look, is this still the opening line?
* One segment of ''Series/TheDailyShow'' showed a senator made an addition to a bill, then another added a "but-for" clause that said the other one couldn't add his. Jon Stewart then said he responded by asking for a ban on all "dickfores".
** A similar joke was found in an outtake for Australian children's show "Agro's Cartoon Connection":
--> '''Agro (puppet):''' Oh, where did I put my piecost?
--> '''Ann-Maree Biggar (human co-host):''' What's a piecost?
--> '''Agro:''' About $1.10!
--> '''Ann-Maree:''' Has anyone seen my henway?
--> '''Agro:''' What's a henway??
--> '''Ann-Maree:''' Oh, about five kilos [kilograms]!
--> '''Agro:''' Has anyone seen my dickfor?
--> '''Ann-Maree:''' What's a dickfor?
--> Agro gives an all-knowing glance at the camera; Ann-Maree gasps and shoves him aside.
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}''
** Subverted nicely with this exchange:
-->'''JD:''' Now I don't want you to worry, because your procedure is being performed by Dr. ''Dahman''.\\
'''Patient:''' Who's Dr. Dahman?\\
'''JD:''' No, no...say that again, but without the doctor.\\
'''Patient:''' Who's Mr. Dahman?\\
'''JD:''' No no, just say the last name.\\
'''Patient''': Who's Dahman?\\
'''JD:''' I'M DAH MAN! That was fun...it was fun, uh, doing that with you.
** In another episode, a variant occurs.
--->'''Doug:''' Stringent what?\\
'''JD:''' Stringent "updoc". (quickly turns to Turk) It's happening.\\
'''Doug:''' What's updoc?
** And in another episode where the janitor accuses J.D. of stealing toilet paper:
--->'''JD:''' I don't use toilet paper. I have one of those French things that shoot water up your butt.
--->'''Janitor:''' A bidet?
--->'''JD:''' Bidet to you, sir.
* ''Series/TheOfficeUS''
** Jim introduces Mike to this concept with the following joke. However, whenever Mike tries this on somebody else, they fail to respond properly. Eventually Dwight answers right, but Mike botches the joke anyway.
--->'''Jim:''' This place smells like updog.\\
'''Mike:''' What's updog?\\
'''Jim:''' Not much, what's up with you?
** And then Michael's attempt after trying on 7 other people...
--->'''Michael:''' This place smells like updog.\\
'''Dwight:''' What's updog?\\
'''Michael:''' Ha! Ha haha! Um... how are you?\\
'''Dwight:''' I'm fine, how are you?\\
'''Michael:''' Fine...
* An example from ''Series/TheDrewCareyShow'':
-->"You know, microbreweries are the second fastest-growing industry in America, right behind butfores."\\
"What's a butfore?"\\
"If you don't know, you'd better stop eating!"
* ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' has a numbers of these:
** Running gag in the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S02E11FirstSpaceshipOnVenus episode]] ''Film/FirstSpaceshipOnVenus'', featuring the character Dr. Herringway, commander of the titular expedition.
-->'''Crow:''' Hey, Joel, what's a Herringway?\\
'''Joel:''' About a pound...
** From the "Cave Dwellers" episode, when the film's star appears in the credits:
--> '''Joel:''' How much Keefe is in this movie anyway?
--> '''Servo:''' Miles O' Keefe!
** An in-film example from ''WomenOfThePrehistoricPlanet''; a ShaggyDogStory told by the [[PluckyComicRelief Odious Comic Relief]] about his adventures in the service, which ''eventually'' meanders to this: "...[[TryingToCatchMeFightingDirty So I threw a handful of yurze in the thing's eye]] and killed it..." "What's 'yurze[[note]](pronounced "yours")[[/note]]'?" "Well, I'd like a three-day pass, sir..."
** "Can't we just get ''beyond'' Thunderdome?"
* One of these turns up in an episode of ''KolchakTheNightStalker''. It concerns a wild animal called a Pycost. [[spoiler:89 cents.]]
* You can pretty much make a drinking game out of this trope watching ''Series/RowanAndMartinsLaughIn'' and ''HeeHaw'' (same thing, different demographic; that's actually the only enjoyable way to watch these shows, as even the actors would admit.)
* Murray from ''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'' is a constant source of these when it comes to artists and albums:
-->'''Murray:''' I've told you, when you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend - past or present. ... You get a love triangle, you know? Music/FleetwoodMac situation. Well there- there was four of them, so more of a love square-- but you know; no one gets on. ... Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.\\
'''Bret''' ''(nodding his head)''''':''' "Rumours."\\
'''Murray:''' No. It's all true.
** Also
-->'''Bret:''' Michael Jackson's "Off the Wall".\\
'''Murray:''' I'll say he is...he's off the planet. Wants to freeze himself, doesn't he?
** Plus, after Bret has written a song dissing other rappers:
-->'''Murray:''' Who were these people you were dissing? The only one I could make out was Snoopy-- what's your problem with him?\\
'''Bret''': No, Snoop Dogg.\\
'''Murray''':I know he's a ''dog'', Bret. I'm not totally in the dark ages. I do go out every once in a while. He's lovable! Leave him alone.
* UK Comedy ''The Fast Show'' had character Arthur Atkinson do a whole sequence of these in the mock ''Hee Haw'' sketches parodying old music-hall comedies. The gags always involved corny sound effects like a slidewhistle, pie-in-face gags, or corny wordplay, such as:
-->'''Announcer:''' "This first story involves Arthur Atkinson, and he's not feeling himself."\\
'''Arthur:''' "And I'm not feeling anyone else neither, before you ask."\\
''[cut to shot of audience cracking up]''
* One in Spanish: The Mexican comedian Chespirito had a character, the old and crotchety ''Doctor Chapatín''. The doctor always carried a paper bag which would never play any part whatsoever in the plot, except to punch whoever dared to say that he was old (this happened OnceAnEpisode). But once, his nurse and one patient asked him directly about the paper bag and he finally answered: ''"Tengo queles" "¿Queles?" "Qué les importa"'' (that could be roughly translated as ''"It's nunya." "Nunya?" "Nunya business"'').
* In the ''Series/{{MASH}}'' episode "Where There's a Will, There's a War", Hawkeye fondly recalls (via flashback) a time when the usually-humorless Margaret Houlihan started rattling off a whole bunch of these with him while taking inventory in the supply hut:
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Sulfa...where's the sulfa?\\
'''Margaret:''' The sulfa's in the living room.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' What?\\
'''Margaret:''' The sulfa's in the living room. Between the end tables.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' (astonished) Margaret, you told a joke!\\
'''Margaret:''' I'm tired.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' "The sulfa's in the living room." (starts laughing) I can't believe you said that!\\
'''Margaret:''' (laughing now, too) I told you I was tired!\\
'''Hawkeye:''' No, I love it! Somebody's finally been messing with your funny bone! Okay, sulfa...we got plenty.\\
'''Margaret:''' Sulfa so good. (starts laughing again) Morphine.\\
'''Hawkeye:''' No, thanks, I got plenty. (They both crack up, then start to compose themselves.) Digitalis?\\
'''Margaret:''' No, I'm keeping it a secret. (They both lose it for good.)
* ''Series/{{Friends}}''
** Joey's being dumb rather than deliberately funny:
--->'''Rachel:''' See? Unisex.\\
'''Joey:''' Maybe you need sex. I had sex a few days ago.\\
'''Rachel:''' No, Joey, U-N-I sex.\\
'''Joey:''' Well, I wouldn't say no to that...
** And then Joey misunderstands a real word to set this up:
--->'''Monica:''' Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?\\
'''Joey:''' I'd probably kill myself!\\
'''Monica:''' Excuse me?\\
'''Joey:''' Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live.\\
'''Ross:''' Joey, uh, [=OMNIpotent=].\\
'''Joey:''' You are?! Ross, I had no idea. I thought it was like a theoretical question, y'know?
** There's also the new age doctor who tells Ross he has a "cundis".
--->'''Ross''': What's a 'cundis'?\\
'''Doctor''': Nuthin', what's a cundis with you?
** When Rachel is looking at an apothecary table in a catalogue:
-->'''Rachel:''' Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 [=CDs=].
-->'''Chandler:''' Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore.
-->'''Rachel:''' Your what?
* In the Season 3 ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' episode "Gingerbread", Buffy laments that she doesn't think anything she does makes a lasting difference, but at least she finally understands something that's baffled her for years.
-->'''Buffy:''' I'm like the boy in that story, the one who stuck his finger in the duck.\\
'''Angel:''' Dike.\\
'''Buffy:''' ''(confused look)''\\
'''Angel:''' ''(chuckles)'' It's another word for dam.\\
'''Buffy:''' Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.
** If only Willow was there to hear about sticking fingers in dykes - I mean dikes.
* ''Series/{{Skins}}'' did one of these in the S3 opener.
-->'''Effy:''' It's inexplicable, Pandora.\\
'''[[TheDitz Pandora:]]''' Yeah, inexplicable. ''*beat* '' What does inexplicable mean, Eff?\\
'''Effy:''' Can't explain.\\
'''Pandora:''' ''[=[dismayed]=]'' Alright, suit yourself then.
* ''Film/AMuppetFamilyChristmas'':
-->'''Fozzie:''' I didn't know you were a talking snowman.\\
'''Snowman:''' Actually, I'm a snooman.\\
'''Fozzie:''' What's a snooman?\\
'''Snowman:''' Nothing. What's a snoo with you?\\
...\\
'''Fozzie:''' Ah, Christmas. Time for Santa Claus and his eight prancing reinbear.\\
'''Snowman:''' That's reindeer.\\
'''Fozzie:''' No. That's snow, darling!
** Also from ''Series/TheMuppetShow'', when Fozzie coerces Kermit to feed him the line, "Good grief, the comedian's a bear!" Fozzie answers, "No he's-a not, he's-a wearin' a neck-a-tie!"
*** "Do you like [[Creator/RudyardKipling Kipling]]?" "I don't know; I've never kippled."
*** "Can you play hatless?" "I don't know, who wrote it?"
*** "Do you enjoy bathing beauties?" "I don't know, I never bathed one."
*** "Do you know there's someone trying to sleep up here?" "No, but hum a few bars and we'll fake it!"
* ''Series/{{Taxi}}''
** Jim Ignatowski was taking his driving test, leading to this classic gag:
-->'''Jim''': What does a yellow light mean?
-->'''Bobby''': Slow down.
-->'''Jim''': Okay. What...does...a...yellow...light...mean?
-->'''Bobby''': Slow down.
-->'''Jim''': Okay. OK. Wwwwhhhaaaat dooeesss aaaa yyyeeeellllowwww lllliiiight mmmmeeeannn?
** In another episode, Latka Gavis leads Louie dePalma -- possibly unintentionally -- right into one of these:
--->'''Louie:''' What's this?
--->'''Latka:''' It's a kebble.
--->'''Louie:''' What's a kebble?
--->'''Latka:''' 110 kebble make a lithnitch.
--->'''Louie:''' What's a lithnich?
--->'''Latka:''' 270 lithnich make a matta.
--->'''Louie:''' What's a matta?
--->'''Latka:''' I don't know, what's a matta with you?
* On ''Series/ThatsMyBush'', Larry, GeorgeWBush's wacky neighbor, would use one of these almost OncePerEpisode.
** In one episode, someone else gives the punchline instead (responding to "Stardoo" with "It twinkles!"), [[BerserkButton making him very, very angry.]]
** Larry also did the "Hindu" punchline, though unenthusiastically, when George in fact asked him what a Hindu was.
** Subverted in one episode where spies tunneled to the White House:
-->'''Larry:''' Say, George, there's a hole dug in your front porch.
-->'''George:''' I get it, Larry. I'm supposed to say, "What's a hole dug?" Ha ha.
** On one occasion, Larry actually started to do the TropeNamer joke but was cut off by George, who was in the middle of some hijinks and didn't have the time for it.
* From an episode of ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'', when Will corrects Carlton's usage of the word "dis":
--> '''Will''': That's ''dis''.
--> '''Carlton''': I don't care if it's dis, dat or the other thing!
* Some of the puns on ''Series/ABitOfFryAndLaurie'' took this form.
-->'''John:''' You have a daughter, I believe?\\
'''Peter:''' Yeah. Yeah, Henrietta.\\
'''John:''' Did he, did he, I'm sorry to hear that.
* In one episode of ''{{Blackadder}}'', Baldrick is running for office and tells his boss he thinks his first name is "Sodoff", because all the other kids used to say "Sod off, Baldrick!" Blackadder notes him down as "S. Baldrick". Later Edmund is interviewed.
-->'''Interviewer''' What does the S stand for?
-->'''Blackadder''' Sodoff.
-->'''Interviewer''' Yes, I guess it's really none of my business...
* ''Series/CrimeStory'' - at a block party cookout, Polish cop Krychek is quizzing black cop Clemmons on Polish food. When he gets to ''garachki'' Clemmons is stumped - turns out it's what you use to open a garage door.
* ''Series/CornerGas'': In "Crab Apple Cooler":
-->'''Lacey:''' We could play euchre.\\
'''Oscar:''' ''Euchre''? I hardly know 'er!\\
'''Lacey:''' Or Twister.\\
'''Oscar:''' ''Twister''? I just met 'er!\\
'''Lacey:''' Or maybe we could just play charades.\\
'''Oscar:''' ''Charades''? Ha ha... [[DelayedReaction I hate charades]]!\\
'''Emma:''' Charades it is.\\
'''Lacey:''' [[LampshadeHanging Good thing I didn't say "poker."]]
* From the ''SaluteYourShorts'' episode "Ghost Story":
-->'''Dina:''' ...It's something 4 out of 5 doctors recommend.
-->'''Telly:''' Which doctors?
-->'''Dina:''' Exactly, witch doctors...
* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''
** In the "Black Magic Police" sketch, when a reporter dramatically asks, "Just what are the police up to?", an especially stupid-looking cop looks up from a book he's reading and answers, "Oh, I'm up to page 39, where Literature/PeterPan first manifests himself."
** Also, the two pepperpots turn to alternative entertainment after Radio 4 explodes:
-->'''Pepperpot #1:''' Oh, dear. The radio's exploded.
-->'''Pepperpot #2:''' Well, what's on the television, then?
-->'''Pepperpot #1:''' Looks like a penguin.
-->'''Pepperpot #2:''' No, I didn't mean what was on the TV set. I meant what programme.
* Not surprisingly, ''Series/PoliceSquad'' was built on this trope. The most famous example:
-->'''Det. Frank Drebin:''' Wait a minute, let me get this straight: Twice came in and shot the teller and Jim Fell.
-->'''Sally Decker:''' No, he only shot the teller, Jim Johnson. Fell is ill.
-->'''Drebin: '''Okay, then after he shot the teller, you shot Twice.
-->'''Sally:''' No, I only shot once.
-->'''Capt. Ed Hocken: '''Twice is the hold up man.
-->'''Sally: '''Then I guess I did shoot Twice.
-->'''Drebin: '''Oh, so now you're changing your story.
-->'''Sally:''' No, I shot Twice after Jim fell.
-->'''Drebin:''' You shot twice and Jim Fell?
-->'''Sally:''' No, Jim fell first and then I shot Twice once.
-->'''Drebin:''' Well, who fired twice?
-->'''Sally:''' Once!
-->'''Capt. Hocken:''' He's the owner of the tire company, Frank.
-->'''Drebin:''' [pauses] Okay. Once is the owner of the tire company and he fired Twice. Then Twice shot the teller once.
-->'''Sally:''' Twice.
-->'''Drebin:''' ...and Jim fell and then you fired Twice.
-->'''Sally: '''Once!
-->'''Drebin: Okay. '''All right, that will be all for now, Ms. Decker.
-->'''Capt. Hocken: '''We'll need you to make a formal statement down at the station.
-->'''Sally:''' Oh, of course!
-->'''Drebin: '''You've been very helpful. We think we know how he did it.
-->'''Sally:''' Oh, Howie couldn't have done it. He hasn't been in for weeks.
-->'''Drebin:''' Well. [pauses] Thank you again, Ms. Decker.
-->'''Drebin:''' [to Capt. Hocken] Weeks?
-->'''Capt. Hocken:''' Saul Weeks. He's the comptroller, Frank.
** Later, as they're arresting Sally, Capt. Hocken addresses two cops standing nearby.
-->'''Capt. Hocken:''' Sergeants, take her away and book her.
-->'''Drebin:''' [addressing each officer as if introduced] "Sergeant Takeraway, Sergeant Booker."
* ''Series/TheNanny''
** in "My Fair Nanny", as Fran is trying to pass herself off as cultured at the party:
--->'''Maureen Wentworth:''' (''observing a sculpture'') What a lovely artifact. Is it Mayan?
--->'''Fran:''' No, it's his-en.
** In another episode Fran gets a famous lawyer to represent her in court, who she says does a lot of ''pro-bono'' work. Fran's Ditz friend doesn't like this because she's always been pro-Cher.
* Alluded to in ''DoctorWho'', "Parting of the Ways" as a bit of a StealthPun:
-->"Rose Tyler. I was gonna take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'll love it, fantastic place, they've got dogs with no noses! [laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny!"
* Used by Creator/BennyHill in a skit where a brother and sister team claim to have climbed the highest mountain ridge in the world.
-->'''Interviewer:''' Himalaya?
-->'''Sister:''' No, he tells the truth!
* On ''SesameStreet'', Bert once dressed up quite fancy, and asked Ernie:
--> '''Bert''': How do I look, Ernie!?
--> '''Ernie''': [[http://squishysquishywobblewobble.tumblr.com/post/90112015309/asammyg-cut-the-shit-ernie With your eyes, Bert!]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Magazines]]
* ''Magazine/{{MAD}}''
** In the ''Star Wars Musical'' parody, the [[HonestJohnsDealership Jawa selling Artoo]] tells Luke that it had a minor accident around a nearby star.
--->'''Luke:''' Sirius?\\
'''Jawa:''' Naaah, just a few dents.
** An earlier parody of ''ComicStrip/MarkTrail'' had Mark pointing to a very familiar-looking cartoon rabbit, claiming that it "very frequently eats updok." The [[BugsBunny rabbit]], in between bites of carrot, says, "What's updok?"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* Music/BarenakedLadies did this in "Pinch Me":
-->''I could hide out under there''\\
''I just made you say underwear!''
** They also did it in "Raisins":
--->''When I make mistakes, I use a lot of salt''\\
''Cuz salt makes my steaks taste great''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot'' occasionally dabbled in this early in the strip's run.
** In an arc where Paige tries to weasel her way out of a ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}'' book report:
--->'''Paige:''' What's ''Macbeth'' about?\\
'''Andrea:''' It's about 100 pages. Now get going.
** Another, from a 1990 Sunday strip:
--->'''Jason:''' Man -- this is one cold house.\\
'''Paige:''' Tell me about it.\\
'''Jason:''' Well, let's see... It's got two stories, it's white with green trim, it's got four bedrooms...
** Another from the same era:
--->'''Peter:''' Hey Paige -- if the kitchen's in the house and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana?\\
'''Paige:''' I dunno. What?\\
'''Peter:''' A state.
** And another:
--->'''Paige:''' What's on the TV?\\
'''Jason:''' The VCR... a couple of magazines... dad's bowling trophy... probably a thin layer of dust, too.
* ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' also loves this trope, including a character who says he's "Justin from Chicago," which causes Pig to become confused when Justin says he's been in town for six months.
* ''ComicStrip/{{Pogo}}'' also used this regularly, including "Good King Sauerkraut"
-->''Good King Sauerkraut, look out!''
-->''On his feets uneven''
-->''Whilst the snoo lay round a bout''
-->"What's '''snoo'''?"
* In the strip ''Adam'', Adam's kids set up a lemonade stand. When someone asked, "Do you serve Arnold Palmer?", they answered, "We serve anyone. What'll ya have?" [[note]] Arnold Palmer is a 50/50 blend of lemonade and iced tea, named after the famous golfer.[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* On one episode of ''Raw'' a detective demanded to know Road Dogg's name. He said, "First name 'Deez'. D-E-E-Z. Last name...'Balls'. B-A..."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
* ''Radio/TheGoonShow'' makes a similar joke about "hendus".
--> '''Weatherman''': "Gale force hendus are sweeping in from the East. That is the end of the hendu warning."
--> '''Seagoon''': "Pardon me, but what's a hendu?"
--> '''Greenslade''': "It LAYS EGGS!"
--> '''Seagoon''': "And you say they're blowing from the East?"
--> '''Greenslade''': "Yes."
--> '''Seagoon''': "Stand by for Easter Eggs!"
* ''Radio/HelloCheeky'' took great delight in giving subversions or variations on the old "Jamaica?" gag.
-->'''Tim:''' You know, the other day I was walking through the town, and I overheard two women speaking. One of them said "My husband's gone to the West Indies," and the second one said "Jamaicim?"...and the first one hit her.
** Or this exchange, taking place in the West Indies:
-->'''John:''' My wife has gone to England.
-->'''Tim:''' London?
-->'''John:''' No, she went of her own accord. ...It's not working...
* Creator/AbbottAndCostello did this all the time. For example, from the episode "Costello's Farm":
-->'''Abbott:''' What kind of cow have you? A heifer cow?
-->'''Costello:''' What?
-->'''Abbott:''' A heifer cow?
-->'''Costello:''' Nah, I gotta whole cow! I gotta whole flock o' cows!
-->'''Abbott:''' No, no, no, stupid! It's not flock, it's herd!
-->'''Costello:''' Herd o' what?
-->'''Abbott:''' Herd of cows.
-->'''Costello:''' Sure I've heard o' cows!
-->'''Abbott:''' No, no, no, I mean a ''cow herd.''
-->'''Costello:''' What do I care if a cow heard? I ain't said nothin' to be ashamed of!
-->'''Abbott:''' Oh, just forget it, Costello. I'm not in the mood.
-->'''Costello:''' Not in what mood?
-->'''Abbott:''' A cow mood.
-->'''Costello:''' Who cares if a cow mooed?!
** And of course, "WhosOnFirst"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Standup]]
* Henny Youngman is the TropeCodifier, period. End of story. Just four words: "Take my wife - please!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* From the play ''Shiek, Rattle and Roll'':
--> "Who's Muhammad?"\\
"He was a Muslim, I think. Or a Hindu."\\
"What's a Hindu?"\\
"Scratches around in the dirt and lays eggs. [[DontExplainTheJoke Get it?]]"
* From a long exchange in ''Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance'':
--> '''Major General''': "Now, as I see, you are only repeating the word "orphan" to show that you understand it."
--> '''Pirate King''': "I didn't repeat the word often!"
--> '''Major General''': "Pardon me, you did indeed."
--> '''Pirate King''': "I only repeated it once."
--> '''Major General''': "Ah, but you repeated it!"
--> '''Pirate King''': "But not often."
--> '''Major General''': "STOP! I think I see where we are getting confused! When you say "orphan", do you mean "orphan", a person who's lost his parents, or "often", frequently?"
--> '''Pirate King''': "Oh! I see what you mean. Frequently!"
--> '''Major General''': "Ah! You said "often", frequently!"
--> '''Pirate King''': [getting irked] "No, only once."
--> '''Major General''': "Exactly! You said "often", frequently, only once!" ''(bursts into song)''
* ''Theatre/TheForeigner'': Betty Meeks offers to make breakfast as Ellard explains what 'a zillion' is to Charlie:
-->'''Meeks''': Hominy grits?
-->'''Charlie''': A zillion!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* Episode 303 of ''VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice'' has a Pollosaurus Henway. Sam falls for it.
* In the first two ''Videogame/{{Discworld}}'' games there's a dialogue routine where [[spoiler:a character makes a statement that prompts Rincewind to say 'What's yours?']] with the expected response.
* ''VideoGame/TheFairlyOddparentsBreakinDaRules'' this in final part of the [[FieldTripToThePast "Time Warped"]] level, which took place in AncientGreece.
-->'''Wanda:''' There's some great pottery around here. Look, a Greek urn!
-->'''Cosmo:''' What's a Greek urn?
-->'''Wanda:''' More than we do. ''*laughs uproariously*''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* An episode of GameGrumps has Arin asking Danny about updog. The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wWhsfnxgLI result]] is ''[[FunnyMoments priceless]]''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/ArthurKingOfTimeAndSpace'' is fond of this one.
* [[Webcomic/TheNonAdventuresOfWonderella Wonderella's]] tried to do this with "[[http://nonadventures.com/2008/05/31/bad-to-the-clone/ dickfor]]", but so far either nobody's fallen for it or nobody's had the nerve to question her. (Alternatively, it's just a StealthPun by the author.)
** Of course not, Wonderella wouldn't fall for any joke that Clonerella knew unless she had [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} spaced out]].
* ''Webcomic/{{Tweep}}'' has GrumpyBear Jack, when asked if he was ready for the night's outing, announce he has [[http://www.tweep.com/comic/?date=06-05-06 twisted his courage to the sticking place]].
-->'''Milton:''' "Screwed", Jack.
-->'''Jack:''' I'd say.
* One ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'' has the "buttfor" variation being played by a priest administering to a criminal on death row.
* In ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'', Millie spends [[http://www.glasswings.com.au/comics/ozyandmillie.au/2001/om20010928.html quite]] [[http://www.glasswings.com.au/comics/ozyandmillie.au/2001/om20010929.html a]] [[http://www.glasswings.com.au/comics/ozyandmillie.au/2001/om20011003.html few]] strips trying to set up a situation where she asks Ozy "Do you want your palm read?", he says yes, and she gets to paint his palm with the bucket of red paint she's been carrying around. It never quite works out; Ozy figures out what's going on almost immediately but is [[TheStoic perfectly willing to watch her continue to try]].
* ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'': Supercollider? I 'ardly KNOW 'er! (from [[http://xkcd.com/474/ this alt text]])
* Pulled twice in [[http://nedroid.com/2010/08/whats-that/ this]] {{Nedroid}} comic, the second one's in the mouseover text.
* The "updog" version was [[http://coachrandom.zzl.org/Chronological/comic-043.xml used]], then [[http://coachrandom.zzl.org/Chronological/comic-058.xml subverted]] on Webcomic/CoachRandom.
* In ''Webcomic/FlintlockesGuideToAzeroth'', someone innocently asks a question in the General Chat channel:
-->[1. General][Pisket] Need d00d 2 duel 2 lvls below me PST
-->[1. General][Greystroker] what does PST mean anywayz?
-->[1. General][Flintlocke] "Please Send Tell"
-->Greystroker whispers to you: what does PST mean?
-->You whisper to Greystroker: Please Send Tell, dumbass.
-->Greystroker whispers to you: i just did!
* ''Webcomic/{{Waterworks}}'': (Spoiler link) [[http://nixshadow.com/mspfa/?s=43&p=527 Connie attempts to use the "updog" joke on Slick]], who doesn't get it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventuresHowISpentMyVacation'', Buster gets caught by three southern belle gators and all of them insist on marrying him. The father obliges, leading to:
-->'''Buster:''' I can't marry all three of them, that's bigamy!
-->'''Big Daddy:''' No, that's big-a me!
-->'''{{rimshot}}'''
* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventures'' had an old vaudeville line.
--->'''[[PunnyName Henny]] [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Youngman]]:''' Ever been to Queens? What do you think of Flushing, NY?
--->'''Plucky:''' I think it's a good idea.
* "Drool, the Dog-faced Goblin," an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters'', contains one: At one point, our heroes are suddenly caught in a hailstorm. The hail then changes, leading to a set-up line that inspires Ray to do his best impression of Chico Marx:
--> '''Egon:''' This isn't hail. This is hominy grits!
--> '''Ray:''' Okay, boss, I'll-a bite. How-many-grits a' you think-a we see?
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
** In "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E24TheSimpsonsSpinOffShowcase The Simpsons Spin-off Showcase]]'', they welcomed special guest Tim Conway! Part of the joke here is that Conway's estimate is way off.
--->'''Homer:''' What's a Tim Conway?\\
'''Tim Conway:''' About 120 pounds.
** An example from a ShowWithinAShow parody of ''HeeHaw'':
--->"I caught my wife in bed with my best friend."\\
"You bitter?"\\
"Yep. Bit him, too!"
** When Marge attempts to purchase a protective cup for Bart, the guy behind the counter feigns ignorance until she frustratedly spells it out: "C-U-P. I wanna C-U-Oh my god!".
** In "Four Great Women and a Manicure":
--->'''Homer:''' Armada? What's armada?\\
'''Moe:''' Nothing. What's a matter with you?
** Bart's prank phone calls to Moe's Tavern in the early seasons were all about this. He'd ask Moe to page such improbably-named patrons as Al Coholic, Amanda Hugandkiss, I.P. Freely, Bea O'Problem, Oliver Clothesoff, Hugh Jass, etc. That last one (Hugh Jass) turns out to be a real person who was in the bar at the time.
--->'''Bart''': Uh, look, I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta back-fired, and I'd like to bail out right now.\\
'''Hugh Jass''': All right. Better luck next time. ''*Hangs up*'' What a nice young man.
*** Not so subtle the time he asked for "ima hugemoronwithanuglyfaceandabigbuttandmybuttsmellsandIliketokissmyownbutt." It still worked, due to happening during a Halloween special wherein Bart had reality-warping powers.
* Herb Penguin does the old-fashioned one to Don in an opening to ''Series/BeakmansWorld''.
* From ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures'':
-->'''Ratso:''' What's a Babylonian urn?\\
'''Finn:''' Probably more than we do!
* In the [[WesternAnimation/DroopyMasterDetective Droopy Master Detective]] show, Droopy's recurring baddie Mc Wolf used this trick twice on two separate sets of guards.
--> '''Mc Wolf''': "Eh, you guys got cooking all over yas."
--> *guards let go of Mc Wolf and proceed to pat themselves down*
--> '''Guards''': Cooking!? What's cooking!?
--> '''Mc Wolf''': *already over the prison wall* "Nuthin' much! What's COOKING WITH YOU!?"
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}}'' does the traditional version in one episode, with a race to the ice-cream place: "Last one there is a henway!" And then after arriving:
-->"You're last, Arthur. You're a henway!"\\
"What's a henway?"\\
"About 5 pounds."
* In ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'', Aang is looking for an Earthbending teacher, and hears about an event called Earth Rumble 6. Asking a couple of local losers about it, he gets told it's on the island of "Nunya". What makes them lose is that, aside from Katara beating the answer out of them afterward, one of them jumps the line and [[DontExplainTheJoke answers the question before it's asked]]: "Nunya business!"
* ''WesternAnimation/SushiPack''
** Comes up twice in one conversation in the episode "Where No Truth Lies." First, when the Sushi Pack ask Officer Flume "What do you have?" (meaning the crime) and she replies, "Oh, it's nothing, just a little cold." She then tells them about The Prevaricator, who made off with the mayor's prized collection:
-->'''Officer Flume''': Anyway, go up to the ski lodge and talk to him.\\
'''Kani''': The Prevaricator?\\
'''Officer Flume''': No, the mayor.
** Comes up again, when the Pack talks to the proprietress of a small cafe. She tells them that The Prevaricator lives just up the road, but "it's a slippery slope," which the Pack take literally, so she replies that she was talking about The Prevaricator himself.
* When WesternAnimation/DangerMouse is introduced to Egregious M. Murphy, he naturally asks "What's the 'M' for?" Murphy explains that the M4 is a motorway that goes to Wales."
* In a sing-along host segment of WesternAnimation/TheBeatles cartoon, Ringo is taking diction lessons:
-->'''Ringo:''' I was practicing the exercise in this book. It teaches you how to pronunciate good like an Englishman should.
-->'''Paul:''' (''agitated'') The word is "''e''nunciate!" "E!" "E!" "E!!" Don't you know the King's English?
-->'''Ringo:''' I know the Queen is!
* In ''TheFugitive'' ParodyEpisode of ''WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo'', this exchange occurs:
-->'''Officer #1:''' I want you to look in every corner! Search every highway, freeway, henway...
-->'''Officer #2:''' What's a henway?
-->'''Officer #3:''' Oh, about three punds.
* ''Franchise/ScoobyDoo''
** ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooAndTheGhoulSchool'': When the cadets are searching, one of them tells another to be sure he looks in 'the updog', leading to this exchange:
-->"What's updog?"
-->"Not much. What's up with you?"
** A similar exchange occurred in ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMeetsTheBooBrothers'', when Freako is looking for the skull ghost;
-->'''Shrieko:''' Did ya look in the updock?
-->'''Freako:''' Updock? What's 'updock?'
-->'''Shrieko:''' Nuttin'! What's up with you?!
* The WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} episode "2D Blacktop" had this exchange:
-->'''Professor:''' Ah, perfect timing. I just turbo charged the ship's matter compressor.
-->'''Fry:''' What's the matter compressor?
-->'''Professor:''' Nothing's the matter, Fry, now that I've turbo charged the matter compressor.
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/CartoonPlanet'', Brak tricks Zorak into asking "What's a matta?". Zorak retaliates by getting Brak to ask "What's a henway?".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]
* Popular Internet joke, usually involving Creator/ChristianBale's Franchise/{{Batman}} and Creator/HeathLedger's Joker:
-->'''Joker:''' "It smells like updog in here."\\
'''Batman:''' "What's updog?"\\
'''Joker:''' "Nothing much, you?"
* Cole's Law: [[spoiler:Thinly sliced cabbage, with mayonnaise and carrots.]]
* Literature/HarryPotter joke:
-->'''Lupin:''' Harry, I have to tell you something. I'm a werewolf.\\
'''Harry:''' Are you fucking serious?\\
'''Lupin:''' [[HoYay That too.]] But don't change the subject.
** Also:
--> '''Ron:''' Harry, quick! Dumbledore's been in a horrible accident!\\
'''Harry:''' Oh my god! Was it serious!?\\
'''Ron:''' No, it was Snape.
** [[RuleOfThree And again]]:
--> '''Harry:''' Surely you can't be serious!
--> '''Sirius:''' I ''am'' Sirius, and [[Film/{{Airplane}} don't call me Shirley]]!
** [[DontExplainTheJoke For those who don't get it]], "[[{{Mondegreen}} Sirius]]" is the name of another character.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
* A common U.S. Army prank involves calling a novice recruit and tell him to find a first class sergeant and ask him if he has a "pricky-7"... the first class sergeant's rank code is "E-7", and "pricky-7" sounds like "prick E-7". HilarityEnsues. The setup often works because it exploits the existing naming convention for Army implements. Portable combat radios have designator names starting with "PRC"-such as the PRC-25 and PRC-77 'Nam era backpack rigs, up to the modern PRC-152. Thus, so easy to tell the rookie that you need a portable radio, type 7, modification E. Got that? PRC-E7. Go to the sarge and say you're looking for the PRC-E7.
* Urbate the boat. Urbating is the old practice of massaging the larger woodwork/ironwork of the boat (preferably with some water or special salves), to release built-up stress. Therefore, it is important urbate the various parts. In particular the [[IncrediblyLamePun mast should be urbated]] regularly.
* Another classic example is the hammerfore, which has also been spotted in a Keebler cookie commercial.
-->'''Person A:''' What's a hammerfore?\\
'''Person B:''' Pounding nails in.
* An ancient joke:
-->"What's a Grecian urn?"\\
"About six drachmas an hour."
** Subverted by ''Radio/TheGoonShow'', in the episode "The Mighty Wurlitzer":
--->'''Grytpype:''' I thought I saw a Greek urn buried in the sand.\\
'''Moriarty:''' What's a Greek earn?\\
'''Grytpype:''' [[BaitAndSwitch It's a vase made by Greeks for carrying liquids]].\\
'''Moriarty:''' I didn't expect that answer.\\
'''Grytpype:''' Neither did quite a few smart-alec listeners.
** Another (sub?)version of it appeared in Private Eye when financial crisis hit Greece:
-->"What's a Grecian urn?"\\
"A lot less since he joined the Euro."
* Another old joke, from a professor:
-->"You know, I went to Moscow once, did some nice sightseeing. There was this river--what was it called...?"\\
"[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volga_River Volga]]?" [[note]]Moscow is actually on the Moskva river.[[/note]]\\
"Oh, it was disgusting!"
* Yet another old joke:
-->"My wife's gone to the West Indies."\\
"Jamaica?"\\
"No, she wanted to go."
** This one's ascended a bit since the Music/LedZeppelin song, "D'yer Mak'er." North Americans still tend not to get it, because they don't have the right accent, so they usually pronounce it "dire maker".
** Done in a Blues round (in calypso form) by ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue'':
--->I woke up dis morning, my wife had gone\\
To de West Indies for de sun.\\
Now you is questioning me: Jamaica?\\
[[BaitAndSwitch No, Trinidad, with Freddie Laker]].
** Weird Al Yankovic used a variant of this as the repeated "fade out" line at the end of "Wanna B Ur Lovr":
---> Girl, you must be Jamaican, because ja makin' me crazy...
** Or the alternate version:
--->"Jakarta?"\\
[[Radio/ImSorryIllReadThatAgain "No, she went of her own accord!"]]\\
[[Series/JeevesAndWooster No, she went by boat!]]
** The folks at [=RPGMP3=].com subverted this one along with some other jokes ("My dog has no nose." "How does he smell?" "He doesn't, he has no nose.") in one of their audio reviews:
--->My wife's gone to Jamaica.
--->Of her own accord?
* And still another old joke:
-->"I was playing card games with some African natives."\\
"Zulus?"\\
"No, I won!"
* And still another:
-->I went on vacation to that big city in Switzerland.\\
Bern?\\
No, I nearly froze to death!
* This one works if you have an American and a Brit talking.
-->"Back home, I used to play a lot of football."\\
"Oh, you mean soccer?"\\
"No, I would never hit a girl."
** Variation used in a recent slapstick comedy
-->"Up for a game of football?"\\
"Soccer?"\\
The original asker then hits the closest woman
* From [[http://bash.org/?270224 Bash]]:
-->"Did you hear about that actress who got stabbed? Reese... Reese something."\\
"Witherspoon?"\\
"No, with a knife."
* A popular nerdy one:
-->"In High School, my mom dated that physicist guy..."\\
"Feynman?"\\
"No, he was a jerk."
* The old one about Alaska made it onto ''Series/HaveIGotNewsForYou'', much to Paul Merton's shame.
-->'''Alexander Armstrong:''' What state is Sarah Palin from?\\
'''Paul Merton:''' Alaska.\\
'''Alexander Armstrong:''' Yeah, would you?\\
'''Paul Merton:''' [{{facepalm}}] ...I'm now permanently associated with that joke.
* John Humphrys got in a good one in the episode he hosted, when Sean Lock asked him about having become a father at a lateish age.
--->'''Humphrys:''' I'm not in the first flush of youth, that's absolutely true... and I do have a three-year-old, that's true.\\
'''Lock:''' What's that like?\\
'''Humphrys:''' ''[holding his hands a few feet apart]'' Well, it's about that big...
* One that can be modified with any word ending in "ing":
--> "Do you like Kipling?\\
"I don't know. I never Kippled."
* Liquor? I 'ardly know 'er!... etc.
** [[OrphanedPunchline Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!]]
** Person A: Let's play a game!\\
Person B: How about poker?\\
Person A: Poker? I hardly know her!\\
Person B: Facepalm
** Or, if you're from Maine: Bangah? ("Bangor" pronounced with the Downeast accent.) I hahdly know ah!
** Gladiator? You bet he was!
* A political one:
-->"Nixon was out of the White House one day, making a speech in front of the United Nations. He didn't return until about one in the morning, and wandered into the Oval Office to make a note of something. But as soon as he walks in, he sees his wife sprawled across the desk, completely nude, and right next to her is... what's his name, the Secretary of State."\\
"Kissinger?"\\
"No, they were having sex."
* In [[TabletopGame/{{Poker}} Texas Hold'em]], the hand Jack-4 is known as a "flat tyre". The joke is reversed in this case, because the punchline is the question ("What's a jack for?") and will only be revealed when someone asks why the hand is given this name.
* Another one runs roughly like this:
-->'''Bob:''' Alice, I need you to run to the store and get me a mattababe.\\
'''Alice:''' What's a mattababe?\\
'''Bob:''' Nothing. What's the matter with you?
* One more:
-->'''Bob:''' My sister fell down a flight of stairs.
-->'''Alice:''' Cellar?
-->'''Bob:''' No, she still has some salvageable parts.
* Can you tell me what nationality Napoleon's parents were?
** [[MathematiciansAnswer 'Course I can]].[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke Corsican.]][[/note]]
** A variation of this is used as a joke by Creator/TimVine.
* There was this white guy wearing a keffiyeh standing in front of the pissoir in the Dubai airport... I sez to him "You may look like an Arab, but I know you're-ah-peein'!", ha ha ha ha....ew.
* "Could you pass me that [object]?" "Pass it? I couldn't even swallow it ..."
* A curious non-Scot meeting a man in a kilt:
-->"Is anything worn under there?"\\
"It's all in perfect working order, thank you."
* Australians sometimes pick on New Zealanders with the "What's a Hindu" joke above.
* "Are you Russian?" "No, I was just walking fast"
* In chat rooms:
-->'''Person A''': What does idk mean?\\
'''Person B''': I don't know.\\
'''Person A''': No one knows!
** And:
--->'''Person A''': What does stfu mean?\\
'''Person B''': Shut the fuck up.\\
'''Person A''': Sor-ry, I was just asking...
** A few unintentional examples of this with idk [[http://parentsshouldnttext.com/?s=idk are catalogued on Parents Shouldn't Text]].
* In a similar vein as the IDK joke, with a bit of BilingualBonus
--->'''Bob''': He had a certain ''je ne sais quoi''\\
'''Alice''': What does ''je ne sais quoi'' mean?\\
'''Bob''': "I don't know what"\\
'''Alice''': Then why did you say it?
* More BilingualBonus:
--->'''Carol''': How do you say "horses" in Dutch?\\
'''Ted''': ''Paarden''\\
'''Carol''': HOW DO YOU SAY "HORSES" IN DUTCH?
* One used with kids:
-->'''Person A''': What are you eating under there?\\
'''Person B''': Under where? (underwear)
* The [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segway_PT Segway PT]] weighs about eighty pounds. When it was first introduced, many people didn't know what it was, and had to ask.
* Another joke, getting a bit old now:
-->"D'you know that racing driver, Niki something?"\\
"Lauda?"\\
"I SAID, DO YOU KNOW THAT RACING DRIVER, NIKI SOMETHING?"
** On a similar note:
-->'''Redneck:''' So, what school did y'all go to?
-->'''Yuppie:''' Yale.
-->'''Redneck:''' WHAT SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!
* "Ugh, I'm got some updoc all over my hair." [[BugsBunny "What's updoc?"]]
** Another variation: *sniff* *sniff* It smells like updog in here.
** A third variant: Upsexy.
--->'''Guy''': What's upsexy?
--->'''Girl''': ''Nothing much.''
* "You have a dickfore on your forehead." "What's a dickfore?"
** I once knew a fellow who had snew in his blood...
* And there's this one:
-->'''Person A''': What do you catch a salmon with?\\
'''Person B''': Salmon bait.\\
'''Person A''': That's right! What do you catch a cod with?\\
'''Person B''': Cod bait.\\
'''Person A''': Right? Now, what do you catch an eyemaster with?\\
'''Person B''': [[ADateWithRosiePalms ...eyemaster bait?]]
** And this one:
-->"What do you call cold tea?"\\
"Iced tea."\\
"What do you call cold coffee?"\\
"Iced coffee."\\
"What do you call cold ink?"\\
"Iced ink?"\\
"Then go have a shower."
* In the Michael Lewis {{nonfiction}} book ''The Big Short'', he describes a hedge fund manager named Mike Burry who wrote a proposal for a new fund, "Milton's Opus", dedicated to making a specific kind of trade Burry had developed an interest in. The book continues with a parenthetical:
-->("The first question was always, 'What's Milton's Opus?'" He'd say, "''ParadiseLost''," but that usually just raised another question.)
* The Round Tuit is a key part in many engineering projects.
** However in Scotland, a Giton Weight can be substituted (Git on wi' it - Get on with it)
* An inversion comes in this physics joke: when someone asks you 'what's new?', respond 'C over lambda'.[[note]]The speed of light, given by the constant c, divided by the wavelength of a given wave of light, given by the variable lambda (λ), is the frequency of the light wave, given by the variable nu (ν).[[/note]]
* And one more classic:
-->"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"\\
"The backstroke."
* In Houston Texas, there is a Restaurant called Kenny and Ziggy's, on their menu in the ala cart side order section is the item Duckway and for its price it says Ask Your Server! Here is a PDF Copy of the Menu, see Page 4[[http://www.kennyandziggys.com/K&ZMenuREST8_12.pdf]]
* A quote often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, and while whether he did say it is dubious, he had a reputation for being a DeadpanSnarker:
-->'''Interviewer''': So tell me, Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?
-->'''Gandhi''': I think it would be a good idea.
* A [[UrbanLegend completely apocryphal]] tale about famed downhill skier [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street Picabo Street]] has her retiring from skiing to get a job in the Intensive Care Unit at some hospital or other. She isn't allowed to answer the phone in her new job, because hospital administration requires a standard greeting of ", ", so every time she answered the phone, she would have had to say "Picabo, I.C.U."
[[/folder]]

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->[[TheStinger I don't get it, what's snoo, and what's updog?]]
->Not much, you?
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