Two characters in a verbal dispute are reduced to exchanging insults -- back and forth, over and over, like a ping-pong ball. Sometimes they escalate to extraordinary heights of inventiveness, but more often it degenerates into utter lameness as they run out of ''nasty'' things to call each other and resort to stupid ones. If an intellectual character is involved, their SesquipedalianLoquaciousness will be their key to victory.

If the participants are of each other's preferred gender, Volleying Insults can sometimes take a left turn into a SlapSlapKiss. Common for BelligerentSexualTension.

And if the participants [[HoYay happen to be the same gender]], such as with VitriolicBestBuds, certain [[YaoiFangirl fa]][[YuriFan ns]] will use this as a ground for claiming that the pairing has a basis. Namely, that the characters have chemistry by bickering LikeAnOldMarriedCouple.

If they're dueling, it's YouFightLikeACow; if they're in a contest of some sort it's TrashTalk.

----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* ''Manga/OnePiece''
** Sanji and Zoro; the two fight constantly, and their contests end with "love-cook" and "marimo", respectively. Lately, Sanji has gone straight into using "Zoro-kun" to fake concern for him. After the time-skip, the first thing they do when they meet up again is insult each other. Not one to be left behind, Zoro now calls Sanji "Nosebleed-kun".
** Don't forget Iceburg and Franky with "Bakanky" and "Bakaburg."
* Goku and Gojyo from ''Manga/{{Saiyuki}}'': their fights always end up as "____ monkey!" / "____ kappa!" The most popular fill-in-the-blanks are 'stupid' and 'pervy,' respectively. Often, they just go straight to this trope.
* In ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'', in the episode where Kagura is introduced (ep. 10), she & Tomo start doing this, and soon degenerate into face-pulling and grappling.
* In ''[[Anime/MobileFighterGGundam G Gundam]]'', a good part of the interaction between ShelteredAristocrat George and BoisterousBruiser Chibodee consists of snarking at each other and throw playful insults around. George calls Chibodee "savage", he retorts by calling George "young master".
* The last episode of ''Anime/CodeGeass R2'' had Rakshata and Lloyd bickering at each other [[spoiler: when they're in prison, right before Lelouch's assassination at the hands of Suzaku/Zero]]. Hardly surprising, since they're ex-classmates and members of opposing RivalScienceTeams. Lampshaded when [[spoiler: the also imprisoned]] Nina hears them, asks Lloyd's assistant Cécile what's up, and Cécile is all "oh, don't worry hon, they've been like this since forever".
* In ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic'', Kurz and Sousuke tend to do this with each other a lot. Kurz tends to take the dirtier approach, and insults Sousuke by calling him a stupid, naive, [[VirginityMakesYouStupid gutless virgin]] (which Sousuke reacts angrily to mainly because he [[ChasteHero assumes it's probably an insult]]), while Sousuke tends to attack Kurz as being a lazy, useless good-for-nothing. Interestingly enough, Kurz is shown to pretty much be the ''only'' person who can make [[TheStoic Sousuke]] get annoyed to the point where he yells petty insults and bickers. Some people think it [[HoYay means]] [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple something]].
* Kanda and Allen from ''Manga/DGrayman''. They can't go two sentences without Volleying Insults at each other. Most of the time it ends with Kanda calling Allen "Moyashi," and Allen calling Kanda some random insulting name. One example is in the Drama CD where the following conversation takes place:
-->'''Kanda:''' Gluttonous pig with no sense of taste.\\
'''Allen:''' Narrow-minded soba idiot.\\
'''Kanda:''' White-hair.\\
'''Allen:''' Ponytail.\\
'''Kanda:''' Cheater-gambler, King of Debts, WIMP.\\
'''Allen:''' Soap-hair, Tattoo guy, STONE-HEAD.
* ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''
** Naruto and Sasuke do this often in the beginning. One flashback has Naruto calling Sasuke "idiot" repeatedly and Sasuke responding with "dumbass". The fight on top of the hospital was the result of this going out of hand, to the point where Naruto and Sasuke were saying things they didn't even believe just to one-up each other.
** Ino and Sakura do this after becoming rivals as well, with Sakura calling Ino "Ino-pig" and Ino calling Sakura "Billboard Brow" for her big forehead.
* Alice and Gilbert of ''Manga/PandoraHearts'' revel in this. Gilbert calls Alice "Baka-Usagi" and Alice calls Gilbert "Seaweed head."
* This is a major part of comedy in ''Manga/{{Bleach}}''; their expressions, voices and dialogue as they're arguing is [[CrowningMomentOfFunny downright]] {{hilari|tyEnsues}}ous to most fans. Participants include [[TheHero Ichigo]] and [[TheLancer Rukia]], [[TheTease Haineko]] and [[LittleMissSnarker Tobiume]], [[BunnyEarsLawyer Shinji]] and [[BrattyHalfPint Hiyori]], [[TheSixthRanger Renji]] and Ichigo, Rukia and Renji, Ichigo and [[TheSmartGuy Ishida]], [[AloofBigBrother Byakuya]] and [[BloodKnight Kenpachi]], [[HairTriggerTemper Apache]] with [[DeadpanSnarker Sun-Sun]] and Mila-Rose, Snakey with [[AbsoluteCleavage Chimpette]], and now [[BaldOfAwesome Ikkaku]] with [[spoiler: [[WindsOfDestinyChange Shishigawara]].]]
* Kazuha and Heiji from ''Manga/DetectiveConan'' have a relationship built almost exclusivly from this trope. Most of their conversations will degrade into calling one another "ahou!" (Or, "idiot!")
* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'': Ranma and Akane have done this before. Their fights usually involve the words "idiot," "jerk," and "tomboy," but sometimes, they're a bit more creative.
-->'''Akane:''' What did you say, you little sardine?!\\
'''Ranma:''' Shut it, savage woman!
* Any disagreement Gray and Natsu have in ''Manga/FairyTail'' will turn into this.
* France and England from ''Webcomic/AxisPowersHetalia'' do this on a regular basis. Greece and Turkey have done so on occasion as well.
* ''Manga/{{Nichijou}}'': At first played straight during part of a heated argument between Yuuko and Mio [[SeriousBusiness over food]], but later inverted when they start volleying ''[[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming compliments]]'' at each other, before ending the argument with a handshake and a hug.
* ''Anime/ShinChan'' has this going down between all of the Noharas. Yep, it's that kind of show, and it's hella funny.
* The English dub of the anime of ''Anime/YuYuHakusho'' has Hiei and Kuwabara throwing insults at each other from pretty much the moment they meet. Kuwabara's are generally aimed at Hiei's size, while Hiei's go for Kuwabara's power level and (perceived) lack of agility.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* In ''ComicBook/ElfQuest'', two major characters Cutter and Rayek are in a physical duel where they share banter that quickly degenerates from bragging about their skills, to calling each other "Bone Polisher!" and "Bead Rattler!" to "Dog!" and "Snake!" respectively.
* In the ''Comicbook/{{Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Mirage}}'' comics:
** Raphael and Casey Jones do this as a way of male bonding, in the first issue after their Northampton exile.
** This scene is later adapted in the [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles first movie]] with Donatello instead of Raph, and with both characters going up the alphabet as they did so.
** A similar scene then occurs in the [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 2003 cartoon]], where Casey and Raph are doing the same thing while [[RoofHopping roof-hopping]].
* An installment of ''ComicBook/TheSimpsons'' comics showed Lisa Simpson and Martin Prince engaging in a poetry duel:
-->"You're a self-absorbed neurotic mess!"\\
"Oh yeah? Well ... you make me ill, I must confess!"\\
"Your family is weird and smarmy!"\\
"Your mother's boots come from the army!"\\
"The air is foul in your abode!"\\
"Your ego needs its own zip-code!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
** Often exchanged by the title characters. One time, instead of escalating to a BigBallOfViolence, they wind up just doing insulting "impressions" of each other, until Calvin's mom calls, "Time to come in!" They trudge off, muttering:
-->'''Calvin:''' Leave it to Mom to interrupt our repartee.\\
'''Hobbes:''' Just when I had you wriggling in the crushing grip of reason too...
** Also Calvin and Suzy.
** [[http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1986/10/26 "WHO'S A MUFFIN-HEAD?!"]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* ''WebVideo/DragonballAbridged'' has Nail and Vegeta snappily shooting back and forth for a few moments.
-->'''Vegeta:''' Trust me, you don't want any of what I am right now.\\
'''Nail:''' Well come on, bring all four feet of you, or should I count your stupid hair?\\
'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big talk, coming from a bipedal slug.\\
'''Nail:''' Big talk, coming from a bipedal ''bitch''.
* In [[FanFic/TheVinylAndOctaviaSeries Vinyl and Octavia Have Multiple Dates]], Octavia ends up doing this with Neon Lights, before it descends into a pun battle.
* ''Legacy of the Rasengan:Naruto'' has Naruto and Sasuke do. Except they get way too personal.
--> '''Sasuke:''' "You do realize her (Hinata) father would never let you date her. Especially a filthy unwanted orphan like you."
--> '''Naruto:''' "Yeah!? What would you know!? The only thing you're good at is brooding about something that happened in the past! At least I look towards the future!"
--> '''Sasuke:''' "Don't talk of things you know nothing of! My family was all I had!"
--> '''Naruto:''' "Then make a new one! It isn't really hard! OhWait, I forgot. You need to have everything handed to you on a silver platter! You never work for anything you want or have!"
* Started, but then averted in the ''Fanfic/ThisTimeRound'' fic "[[http://www.ttrarchive.com/groundwork.html Ground Work]]", where Spike from ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' meets his counterpart from the [[ShowWithinAShow fictional series]] ''[[http://members.iglou.com/scarfman/knotes9.htm St Pudentiana the Fairy Bane]]'':
-->"So _you're_ the fairy." Spike said.\\
"And you're the bloodsucking demon." Nails said pleasantly. "I was expecting a bit more 'grr', but I suppose you have to take what you can get."\\
"Har har." Spike said. "Stolen any babies lately?"\\
Nails's eyes narrowed. "_Eaten_ any babies lately?"\\
"Nails-" Gaia began.\\
Spike opened his mouth to retort... then clamped it shut.\\
"What's the matter?" Nails said. "Lost for words?"\\
"Nah." Spike said. "Just realised. Only thing I _can_ take the piss out of you for is being a fairy. 'Cause I go any further, I start ripping on _me_."\\
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* This happens between Madame Medusa and Mr. Snoops in ''Disney/TheRescuers'' when the Devil's Eye is found.
-->'''Medusa:''' It's mine! It's all mine!\\
'''Snoops:''' Double-crosser!\\
'''Medusa:''' Cheap pickpocket!\\
'''Snoops:''' Chiseler!\\
'''Medusa:''' Ugh! Cheap crook!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSecretOfNIMH'' has Martin (Mrs. Brisby's son) doing this with [[MeaningfulName Auntie "Shrew"]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/LiarLiar''
** The following exchange occurs in court:
-->'''Dana Appleton:''' Your Honor, I object!\\
'''Fletcher Reede:''' You would!\\
'''Appleton:''' BASTARD!\\
'''Reede:''' HAG!
** During the credits, the [[HilariousOuttakes hilarious out-take]] for the same scene:
-->'''Swoosie Kurtz:''' Your Honor, I object!\\
'''Creator/JimCarrey:''' You would!\\
'''Kurtz:''' [[LargeHam OVER-ACTOR!]]\\
'''Carrey:''' JEZEBEL! (''bursts out laughing'') Oh, no! They're on to me!
* The legendary exchange between Rufio and Peter in ''Film/{{Hook}}'', consisting of at least nineteen volleys, climaxing with:
-->'''Peter Banning:''' Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you just EAT ME? You two-toned zebra-headed slime-coated pimple-farmin' paramecium-brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!\\
'''Don't Ask:''' What's a Paramecium-brain?\\
'''Peter Banning:''' I'll tell you what a paramecium is. ''That's''' a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain that ''can't fly''! Don't mess with me, man, ''I'M A LAWYER!''
* In ''Film/WildWildWest'', West and Loveless take not-so-subtle verbal pot shots at each other for being black and [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe crippled]], respectively. This becomes a BrickJoke near the end of the film.
-->'''Loveless''': ''[balancing on the edge of [[spoiler:a cliff]]]'' Well, I'll be a '''monkey's uncle'''! How did we arrive in this '''dark''' situation?\\
'''West''': ''[hanging from [[spoiler:the back of Loveless' chair]]]'' I don't know, Dr. Loveless, I'm just as '''stumped''' as you are.
* Happens in ''Film/TheFortyYearOldVirgin'' when David and Cal are playing a video game:
-->'''David:''' You know how I know you're gay?\\
'''Cal:''' How? How do you know I'm gay?\\
'''David:''' Because you macraméd yourself a pair of jean shorts.\\
'''Cal:''' You know how I know ''you're'' gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women anymore.\\
'''David:''' You know how I know that you're gay?\\
'''Cal:''' How? 'Cause you're gay? [[{{Gaydar}} And you can tell who other gay people are]]?\\
'''David:''' You know how I know you're gay?\\
'''Cal:''' How?\\
'''David:''' You like Coldplay.
* The first ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' film had a G-rated version of this between Donatello and Casey Jones. Part of it was that they were trying to go in alphabetical order.
* ''Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy'', when Ron and Veronica's rivalry finally spills over:
-->'''Ron:''' You're a smelly pirate hooker.\\
'''Veronica:''' Well... you dress like a blueberry!\\
'''Ron:''' Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?\\
'''Veronica:''' [[BerserkButton Your hair looks stupid.]]
* This exchange from ''Film/TheSandlot'':
-->'''Phillips:''' We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.\\
'''Ham:''' Watch it, jerk!\\
'''Phillips:''' Shut up, idiot!\\
'''Ham:''' Moron!\\
'''Phillips:''' Scab eater!\\
'''Ham:''' Butt sniffer!\\
'''Phillips:''' Pus licker!\\
'''Ham:''' Fart smeller!\\
'''Phillips:''' You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!\\
'''Ham:''' You make your weenies with [[YourMom your momma's]] toe jams!\\
'''Phillips:''' You bob for apples in the toilet and you '''like''' it!\\
'''Ham:''' You play ball like a '''''GIRL'''''!
* Happens between Xander and Yelena in ''Film/XXx''.
-->'''Yelena:''' Do you know what a wire trasfer is?\\
'''Xander:''' Is she for real? Sweetheart, is there anything else you need to do? Let us big boys have a conversation?\\
'''Yelena:''' "Conversation", a word with four syllables. Do you want some ice before your brain overheats?\\
'''Xander:''' Ice? Yes, you could chisel some off your heart -- if you can find it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' novel ''Discworld/{{Mort}}'', Mort and Ysabel have a lengthy slanging match with one another, including, at a few points, taking a moment out to clarify their meaning, before continuing.
* ''[[Literature/DarkLordOfDerkholm Year of the Griffin]]'' displays this with Felim and the Emir of a far off land. When they meet towards the end of the book, they begin yelling various insults at each other about how their maternal ancestors were different animals. (Your mother was a camel!) It is later revealed that [[spoiler: the two are brothers and insulting their own mothers, grandmothers, etc.]]
* ''Literature/ArtemisFowl'': something of a hobby among most of the main characters, Foaly and Mulch in particular.
* ''Literature/TheBartimaeusTrilogy'': Bartimaeus and Nathaniel, nigh-constantly.
* ''Literature/TheFirstLaw'': By circumstances, main protagonist Monza Murcatto and Carlot dan Eider, whom she more than once just slighted, meet on the same side before a major battle in ''Literature/BestServedCold''. An insult volley ensues (though of course strictly speaking both only speak the truth. Or at least, as far as they know):
-->'''Carlot dan Eider:''' And who is this? The Butcher of Caprile! I thought you were but a thief, blackmailer, murderer of innocents and keen practiser of incest! Now it seems you are soldier, too.\\
'''Monza Murcatto:''' Carlot dan Eider, such a surprise! I thought this was a battle but now it smells more like a brothel. Which is it?\\
'''Carlot dan Eider:''' Judging by all the swords I'd guess... the former? But I suppose you'd be the expert. I saw you at Cardotti's and I see you here, equally comfortable dressed as warrior or whore.\\
'''Monza Murcatto:''' Strange how it goes, eh? I wear the whore's clothes and you do the whore's business.\\
'''Carlot dan Eider:''' Perhaps I should turn my hand to murdering children instead?
* The [[Literature/TheIcelandicSagas Icelandic Saga]] of Gunnlaug Viper-Tongue (''Gunnlaugs saga ormstungu''). A major part of the story is Gunnlaugur confronting his rival in front of the king of Norway and them doing the ancient equivalent of freestyle battle rapping to see who the king favours.
* Mudge gets something of a MomentOfAwesome in ''[[Literature/{{Spellsinger}} The Paths of the Perambulator]]'', when the world-saving heroes are trapped by a [[ItMakesSenseInContext magical cage built of insults]]. Only Mudge is a sufficient maestro of put-downs to volley the cage's slurs back at it, with each diss's intensity turned UpToEleven, until it disperses.
-->'''Cage''': That's right, tell us everything you know. It won't take long.
-->'''Mudge''': I'll tell you everything we both know. It won't take any longer.
* This is how Beldin and Polgara greet each other in ''Literature/TheBelgariad''. Being TheGrotesque, Beldin doesn't have much use for flattery, so this is how he shows affection. She picked up the practice from her father. Before Polgara was born, Belgarath and Beldin traded insults for the same reason, and even afterward, they would do it occasionally for old time's sake.
* ''Literature/TheStormlightArchive'': The second time Shallan and Kaladin meet in ''Literature/WordsOfRadiance'', they end up standing in the middle of the hallway in front of the king's rooms, screaming increasingly creative insults at each other. This is largely because the ''first'' time they met, Shallan [[BavarianFireDrill pretended to be a Horneater princess and stole Kal's boots]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* The entire concept of Rob Newman and David Baddiel's ''History Today'' sketches on ''TheMaryWhitehouseExperience'', featuring two history professors insulting each other like schoolchildren; "That's you, that is..."
* In the ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "Doomsday", the leader of the Daleks and the Cyberleader take turns insulting each other after the Dalek refuses an alliance. What makes this particularly fun is that both communicate in RoboSpeak. Mickey sums it up: "It's like Stephen Hawking meets the speaking clock."
* The is the entire premise of ''Yo Mamma'' on the NetworkDecay-ed MTV.
* ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'': "Jane, you ignorant slut." "Dan, you pompous ass."
* Parodied in ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' series three, with a French revolutionary and aristocrat using various animal insults, from "Dog" and "Snake" up to "Happypotamus".
* In the ''Series/BabylonFive'' episode "Convictions", Londo and G'Kar are trapped in an elevator. They exchange a final volley of insults as a rescue crew approaches (much to G'Kar's annoyance, as he'd seen the incident as a chance to watch Londo die under circumstances that would not trigger reprisals against his people).
-->'''Londo:''' There, you see... I am going to ''live''!\\
'''G'kar:''' ...So it would seem. Well, it ''is'' an imperfect universe.\\
'''Londo:''' ...''Bastard.''\\
'''G'kar:''' ...''[[YouMonster Monster]].''\\
'''Londo:''' ...''Fanatic!''\\
'''G'kar:''' ...''Murderer.''\\
'''Londo:''' [[YoureInsane You are]] ''[[YoureInsane insane]]!''\\
'''G'kar:''' And ''that'' is why we'll win.\\
'''Londo:''' ..."Go be the ambassador to Babylon 5", they say. "It will be an easy assignment". Ugh, I ''hate'' my life.\\
'''G'kar:''' ...So do I.\\
'''Londo:''' ''[[BigShutUp Shut up!]]''
* An episode of ''Series/AllyMcBeal'' has Ally and her ex doing this two different times, with Ally ultimately winning both rounds. In the first, her conquering insult was "Lawyer!" (ironic, since she was one also), and in the second, she won by calling her opponent, simply, "Man!"
* From ''Series/{{Lost}}'', "Tricia Tanaka is Dead":
-->'''Sawyer:''' What's your problem, Jumbotron?\\
'''Hurley:''' Shut up, Red... neck... man!\\
'''Sawyer:''' Touché.
* From ''Series/That70sShow'', between Hyde and Laurie:
-->'''Hyde:''' Boy Laurie, you really like that hotdog! You didn't even chew it.\\
'''Laurie:''' Oh hey Hyde, Father's Day is coming up, shouldn't you practice saying: Hi are you my Daddy?\\
'''Hyde:''' Oh, by the way Laurie, the surgeon-general called, he wants you to stop hoarding all the penicillin.\\
'''Laurie:''' You know, when you're in prison, your bad table manners will probably just be a turn on for some guy named Tank.\\
'''Hyde:''' Oh maybe when you're there for a conjugal visit, you can ask him to take it easy on me.\\
'''Laurie:''' Oh yeah well... [[LameComeback NICE HAIR!]]
* In one episode of the incredibly obscure Uk SitCom ''Never yhe Twain'', Windsor Davies' character gets into one of these with a French waiter which ends with both of them consulting a phrase book/dictionary in order to continue the insults. Funnier than it sounds.
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'':
** Buffy and Willow:
-->'''Willow:''' I'll stop giving you a hard time... Runaway.\\
'''Buffy:''' Will!\\
'''Willow:''' I'm sorry! Quitter.\\
'''Buffy:''' Whiner.\\
'''Willow:''' Bailer.\\
'''Buffy:''' Harpy.\\
'''Willow:''' Delinquent.\\
'''Buffy:''' Tramp.\\
'''Willow:''' Bad seed.\\
(''ending credits'')\\
'''Buffy:''' Witch.\\
'''Willow:''' Freak.
** Xander and Anya's duet in the Season 6 musical "Once More With Feeling."
--> '''Xander:''' She clings / She's needy / She's also really greedy / She never
--> '''Anya:''' [interrupting] His eyes are beady!
--> '''Xander:''' This is ''my'' verse, hello!
* ''Series/{{Reba}}'' has Reba's ex-husband, Brock, and her close friend, [[SitcomArchNemesis Lori Ann]] interact with each other in this fashion. For example:
-->'''Brock:''' (''upon walking into Reba's eldest daughter's baby shower'') Look at all these beautiful women. (''looks at Lori Ann'') [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg You must be security.]]\\
'''Lori Ann:''' (''looking at Brock'') I thought we agreed not to hire a clown.
* ''Series/NeverMindTheBuzzcocks'':
-->'''Donny Tourette:''' (''grabbing his crotch'') This is what I think of you!\\
'''Simon Amstell:''' What? You think me a small penis? Well I never!
* From ''Series/MyWifeAndKids'', Michael and Wanda:
-->'''Wanda:''' I'm going to dedicate my life to making you miserable, even if I have to live to be 150.\\
'''Michael:''' Well, you only have 4 more years left for that.
* In ''Series/TheMonkees'' episode "Monkees Chow Mein", Davy and Mike are dressed as superheroes and use insults as their "weapon":
-->'''Davy:''' You're nail biter. You're nail biter and your mother never ''ever'' loved you.
* The pilot episode of ''Series/{{Community}}'' has this exchange:
-->'''Prof. Duncan:''' I'm asking if you know the difference between right and wrong.\\
'''Jeff:''' I discovered at a very early age that if I talked long enough, I could make anything right or wrong. So either I'm God, or truth is relative. And in either case, BOOYAH.\\
'''Prof. Duncan:''' Interesting. It's just the average person has a much harder time saying "BOOYAH" to moral relativism.\\
'''Jeff:''' Duncan, you don't have to play shrink to protect your pride. I accept. You're chicken.\\
'''Prof. Duncan:''' Are you trying to use ReversePsychology on a psychologist?\\
'''Jeff:''' No, I'm just using regular psychology on a spineless, British twit.\\
'''Prof. Duncan:''' I'm a professor; [[LameComeback you can't talk to me that way]].\\
'''Jeff:''' A 6-year-old girl could talk to you that way.\\
'''Prof. Duncan:''' Yes, because that would be [[EnfantTerrible adorable]].\\
'''Jeff:''' No, because you're a 5-year-old girl and there's a pecking order.
* In the ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen'' episode "For the Sake of the Child", Charlie and Alan take turns at insulting each other, using up insults that start with each letter of the alphabet. When we see them, they're at L.
-->'''Alan:''' You are a lush!\\
'''Charlie:''' You are a leech!\\
'''Alan:''' You are a misogynist!\\
'''Charlie:''' You are a mistake!\\
'''Alan:''' You are a... What are we up to?\\
'''Charlie:''' N.\\
'''Alan:''' Thank you. You are a... necrophiliac!\\
'''Charlie:''' She was drunk, not dead, I challenge!\\
'''Alan:''' Fine. You... are a narcissist!\\
'''Charlie:''' Better. You are a nancy-boy!\\
'''Alan:''' You are old!\\
'''Charlie:''' You are odd...ly shaped.\\
'''Alan:''' (''phone rings'') Hang on.\\
'''Charlie:''' You are a parasite.\\
'''Alan:''' Not your turn.
* Surprisingly, given its {{Cluster F Bomb}}s and extremely FloweryInsults, ''Series/TheThickOfIt'' doesn't have as many as you'd think. Arguments frequently occur, but they're usually about [[XanatosSpeedChess something that needs to be dealt with quickly]] and so seldom become simple insult contests. Also, the fact that most of the arguments involve [[MagnificentBastard Malcolm]] [[SirSwearsALot Tucker]], who can steamroller most opposition fairly easily, means that the shouting matches don't drag on for as long as a fight between equals would.
* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'':
** Happens often between Bud and Kelly. The insults usually center around Al (occasionally Peggy's thrown in as well).
** Also happens between Kelly and one of her sleepover guests; the final insult before fisticuffs: Bundy.
* ''Series/{{Benson}}'' has insults '''as''' the main weapon in a duel between him and Clayton. Clayton wins two rounds, Benson the other thirteen.
* Clarissa and Ferguson on ''Series/ClarissaExplainsItAll'' could insult each other back and forth for a very long time, including one particularly long exchange at the end of the episode "The Silent Treatment."
* Justin and Alex on ''Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace''.
* ''Series/HorribleHistories'' has a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zchaqy2AlnQ sketch]] with an insult contest between Thomas and the gentleman whose ale he spilled -Shakespeare. Who had a habit of making up his own insults.
--> '''Thomas''': "Though art a saucy rogue!"
--> '''William''': "How can I respond... to a slobbering, pebbling churlish clophole, a beef-witted gleeking bombailey." ''(Continues the insults.)''
* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'': Both pairings aren't afraid to have polite slinging matches with each other when sufficiently riled. Then there's Niles and Roz, who do it sincerely at first, then make a sport of it long after they've warmed up to each other.
** Roz and Julia during the tenth season, including one [[CrowningMomentOfFunny hysterical scene]] in which they try complimenting each other and end up hurling insults - and loving it.
-->'''Julia:''' Well, you certainly made an impression on me. I remember, I kept thinking: "Who did she sleep with to get this job?" And then I found out. Everybody!
-->'''Roz:''' That's a good one! [they laugh] You know, there's a plunger in the bathroom, what do you say we go look for your career?
-->'''Julia:''' Great! While we're in there I can get your phone number.
-->'''Roz:''' Don't bother, it's 1-800-BITE ME.
-->'''Julia:''' "Bite me," that's the best that you've got?
-->'''Roz:''' Oh, I could spend half an hour on your hair.
-->'''Julia:''' Well, you should have spent half an hour on your hair.
-->'''Roz:''' Oh, really? ''(They laugh.)''
-->'''Waitress:''' It's closing time, ladies, I'm afraid you'll have to leave.
-->'''Roz:''' But we're just warming up.
-->'''Julia:''' You know, there's a place down the street that, uh, is open all night.
-->'''Roz:''' Just like your mouth?
-->'''Julia:''' Just like your legs? ''(Julia leaves.)''
-->'''Roz:''' Hey, wait up!
* ''{{Supernatural}}''. The PreviouslyOn montage for "Tall Tales" is edited this way to show Sam and Dean pranking and snapping at each other in various episodes.
* In Series/{{Moonlighting}}, anytime Maddie and David argue[[note]]Which is to say, literally almost all the time.[[/note]], it has the potential to go into this.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Myths & Religion]]
* NorseMythology: ''Flytings''.
** The most memorable being "Lokasenna" ("The Insults of Loki") of the ''Literature/PoeticEdda'' in which Loki insults every single god in the pantheon, and is only quelled when Thor threatens to smash his head in. Why did it come to that? Loki was exploiting SacredHospitality when he started mouthing off. By the rules, they couldn't reprise, but Loki had to stop when Thor arrived because Thor was late [[LoopholeAbuse and therefore not yet a guest]].
** Another classic flyting is the exchange between Thor and Harbard the Ferryman (actually [[spoiler:Odin]] in disguise).
** Nidhoggr, a dragon that sits at the bottom of the world tree, Yggdrasil, trades insults with the unnamed eagle who sits at the top of the tree, with Ratatosk the squirrel running up and down the tree delivering the messages back and forth. Interestingly, at least some versions have Ratatosk trolling ''both'', spreading slanderous gossip that both the eagle and Nidhoggr gobble up, with neither suspecting how much fun he's having at their expense.
* In the African epic ''Sundiata'' the eponymous hero does this with his WorthyOpponent.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Puppet Shows]]
* In the Avery Schrieber episode of ''Series/TheMuppetShow'', Avery does a sketch where he battles "the Monster of the Moors" (Sweetums) in an insult contest.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
* ''The Radio/OpieAndAnthony Show'' is made of this trope. Any show featuring two or more of O&A's comedian friends in-studio is guaranteed to take the aforementioned trope UpToEleven.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]
* The following from ''Theatre/SeventeenSeventySix'':
--> '''John Dickinson:''' Are you calling me a coward?\\
'''John Adams:''' Yes! Coward!\\
'''Dickinson:''' Madman!\\
'''Adams:''' Landlord!\\
'''Dickinson:''' Lawyer!\\
:: Which, from there, leads to the two whaling away at each other with their walking sticks in a donnybrook that can only be broken up by gunfire. In Congress. Some things never change.
* In ''Keating! The Musical'' a song called "On the Floor" is a rap-battle of volleying insults between Paul Keating and John Hewson. It's all the funnier because all the insults are things they actually said.
* Gyorgy Ligeti's operatic MindScrew masterpiece ''Le Grand Macabre'' has this embarassing scene where the Black and the White Ministers trade insults with each other -- alphabetically, from A to W, because they cannot think of anything that start with X, Y or Z.
-->'''White:''' Arse-licker! Arse-kisser!\\
'''Black:''' Blackmailer! Bloodsucker!\\
'''White:''' Charlatan! Clodhopper!\\
'''Black:''' Driveller! Dodderer!
* In Creator/GilbertAndSullivan's last opera, ''Theatre/TheGrandDuke'', the duet of Rudolph and Ludwig. The joke is that they are only ''pretending'' to insult each other, to furnish an excuse for the "statutory duel" of the subtitle.
-->'''Ludwig:''' Tall snobs, small snobs, rich snobs and needy ones!\\
'''Rudolph:''' (''jostling him'') Whom are you alluding to?\\
'''Ludwig:''' (''jostling him'') Where are you intruding to?\\
'''Rudolph:''' Fat snobs, thin snobs, swell snobs and seedy ones!\\
'''Ludwig:''' I rather think you err. To whom do you refer?\\
'''Rudolph, Ludwig:'''\\
To you, sir!\\
To me, sir?\\
I do, sir!\\
We’ll see, sir!\\
I jeer, sir!\\
(''makes a face at Ludwig'')\\
Grimace, sir!\\
Look here, sir--\\
(''makes a face at Rudolph'')\\
A face, sir!
* Also, in Gilbert's ''Theatre/CoxAndBox'', the duet "Who are you, sir?" followed by "Printer, printer"
* Appears in the ancient Greek comedy ''Theatre/TheClouds'' by Creator/{{Aristophanes}}.
* Several examples from the works of Creator/{{Shakespeare}}:
** ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'':
-->'''Brabantio:''' Thou art a villain.\\
'''Iago:''' You are--a senator.
** ''Theatre/MuchAdoAboutNothing''. Appropriately, these are the archetype for SlapSlapKiss:
-->'''Beatrice:''' I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick, nobody marks you.\\
'''Benedick:''' What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?\\
'''Beatrice:''' Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence...
** In Act IV, Scene I of ''Theatre/TimonOfAthens'':
-->'''Timon:''' When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be welcome. I had rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.\\
'''Apemantus:''' Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.\\
'''Timon:''' Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!\\
'''Apemantus:''' A plague on thee! thou art too bad to curse.\\
'''Timon:''' All villains that do stand by thee are pure.\\
'''Apemantus:''' There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.\\
'''Timon:''' If I name thee. I'll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.\\
'''Apemantus:''' I would my tongue could rot them off!\\
'''Timon:''' Away, thou issue of a mangy dog! Choler does kill me that thou art alive; I swound to see thee.\\
'''Apemantus:''' Would thou wouldst burst!\\
'''Timon:''' Away, thou tedious rogue! I am sorry I shall lose a stone by thee. (''throws a stone at him'')\\
'''Apemantus:''' Beast!\\
'''Timon:''' Slave!\\
'''Apemantus:''' Toad!\\
'''Timon:''' Rogue, rogue, rogue...
** In ''Theatre/HenryIV'', Hal and Falstaff spend most of their scenes together trying to top the other in insults.
-->'''Hal:''' I'll be no longer guilty of this sin; this sanguine coward, [[FatBastard this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh]]--\\
'''Falstaff:''' 'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck--\\
'''Hal:''' Well, [[MidBattleTeaBreak breathe awhile, and then to it again.]]
* Seen in the play ''Theatre/WaitingForGodot'' where Vladimir and Estragon spend one page hurling insults until Vladimir yells "Cretin" to which Estragon replies with "Critic", which naturally utterly defeats Vladimir.
* ''Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac'': [[GirlPosse Viscount de Valvert]] and [[GentlemanSnarker Cyrano]] engage on this in an ''epic'' way at Act I Scene IV. [[CurbStompBattle It is not pretty]] [[HumiliationConga for the Viscount]].
* In ''Theatre/TheMarriageOfFigaro'', Susanna and Marcellina insult each other in song while fighting over Figaro.
* In ''Theatre/TheThreepennyOpera'', Lucy and Polly try to out-do each other in the Jealousy Duet, while fighting over Macheath.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* Volleying Insults are a staple of ''VideoGame/MonkeyIsland''. The quality of your insult comes from your swordfighting skill, of all things.
** The most famous example is the "insult swordfights" from ''[[VideoGame/TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland Secret]]'' ("You fight like a dairy farmer!" "How appropriate. YouFightLikeACow."); the Fettucini Brothers indulge in this a bit as well ("Slacker!" "Weasel!" "Ruffian!" "Fop!").
** ''VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland'' features ''rhyming'' insult sword-fighting.
** ''VideoGame/EscapeFromMonkeyIsland'' has insult arm-wrestling and a monkey form of insult battles, "Monkey Combat". Also in ''Escape'', in order to solve a puzzle, Guybrush needs to "borrow" a time clock from two chess players, so he gets the two mad enough at each other that they're too busy Volleying Insults (such as "Falstaff stand-in!" and "Weasel worrier!") to notice him take it. "[[CrowningMomentOfFunny FRINGE CANDIDATE!]]"
* Likewise, there's an entire pirate insult mini-game in ''VideoGame/Sly3HonorAmongThieves'' where the object is to not do the same insult twice.
* Pirates and Volleying Insults seem to go well together: a quest in ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' requires you to face another pirate in a game of Insult Beer Pong. That's a blatant swipe/parody of ''VideoGame/MonkeyIsland'', though, even to the point of having the same (long, tedious) puzzle solution and even some of the same insults.
* In ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'', an exchange between two [[VitriolicBestBuds bumbling ex-cops]] in Dalaran (possibly a [[ShoutOut tribute]] to the above ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' example) goes as follows:
-->'''Jadaar:''' Arrogant.\\
'''Asric:''' Braggart.\\
'''Jadaar:''' Craven.\\
'''Asric:''' Craven? I am most certainly not! Are we not in the middle of a war z... ah.\\
(''Jadaar holds up a finger'')\\
'''Asric:''' What were we on? "D"?\\
(''Jadaar nods'')\\
'''Asric:''' Dolt.
* The cutscenes of ''The Amazing Spider-Man'' for the GameBoy have Spidey trading insults with villains.
* Imoen and Korgan from ''[[VideoGame/BaldursGate Baldur's Gate II]]'' get into this in the "Throne of Bhaal" expansion.
-->'''Korgan:''' Hmph, Imoen, yer an o'er-lame excuse fer a member o' this party and I be tired of exertin' meself to [[SquishyWizard protect ye]]! Next time I let ye perish, screaming like a ninny as ye does!\\
'''Imoen:''' The last time I saw you exert yourself over anything was the last slab of pork in an inn. If you could keep up with me with that beer gut of yours I'd be amazed.\\
'''Korgan:''' Beer gut?! Why, ye stinkin' wench, how dare ye! Keep up with my keen axe as it flies towards yer head, more like! Though it'd be like splittin' a hair, skinny as ye are!\\
'''Imoen:''' I'd be startled if a drunk dwarven oaf like yourself could hit the broad side of a barn with your axe. And while we're talking about stench, let's talk about the last time you passed out in your own vomit.\\
'''Korgan:''' An outrage! Yer a canker on me backside and the world would be best rid of ye! Loathsome mongrel she-dog!\\
'''Imoen:''' Brutish pig! You're nothing but a boil needing lancing!\\
'''Korgan:''' I've seen harlots with less open sores than ye, ye pimple-faced, whining gutter-snipe!\\
'''Imoen:''' You cantankerous, foul-mouthed excuse for a gully dwarf!\\
'''Korgan:''' Gully dwarf? Har har! Ye knows how to hit low, ye does! Har har! Yer a fine, fine lass, ye are, Imoen. That Gorion of yers would be proud.\\
'''Imoen:''' Aw, gee. Thanks, Korgan!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* ''Webcomic/HoneydewSyndrome'' shows this between Josh and Metis in the last scene of Chapter 5.
* ''Webcomic/{{Metanoia}}'' has Star and Zander doing this a few times.
* ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'' has a round of this between Ash and Tom before their last race.
-->'''Tom:''' Say, why don't you wear something sexy some time? I keep mistaking you for a boy. Maybe if you showed some cleavage I'd feel bad and go easy on you.\\
'''Ash:''' Damn. Looks like my plan backfired. Everyone at school was saying you were into boys. Then again, I kinda like the boy look. You ought to try it sometime. Now shut up and let's race.
* ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'' had a friendly version of this in one strip, in one of their games: iambic pentameter slam.
* ''Webcomic/TheDreamer'' has Alexander and Beatrice do this [[BelligerentSexualTension in spades]].
* In ''Webcomic/RustyAndCo'', [[http://rustyandco.com/comic/level2/level-2-17/ this is a pirate duel.]]
* In ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}'' [[http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2005-01-30 Seymour and Lil' E trade cynical and idealistic cliches.]]
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'': Julia and Roy Greenhilt having a [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0364.html friendly brother-sister spat.]]
-->'''Roy:''' Why you little spoiled child--\\
'''Julia:''' {{Hero complex}}.\\
'''Roy:''' [[AttentionWhore Attention seeker]].\\
'''Julia:''' Martyr.\\
'''Roy:''' Brat.\\
'''Julia:''' Jackass!\\
'''Roy:''' Bitch!
* In ''Webcomic/{{Pacificators}}'', [[FieryRedhead Cinna]] and [[MinionWithAnFInEvil Aphrodite]] got into a fight, started over whether Aphrodite's [[GagBoobs boobs are real or not]]. The CrowningMomentOfFunny is that they got into the same fight ''again...'' and the second time, it was in ''[[UpToEleven Italian]].''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* In an alt-universe future game of NewVindicators, there are two characters who are half-sisters and cousins (their father slept with two sisters), with similar super powers. When a new student at the school asks if their powers are the same, they have this exchange.
-->'''Eva:''' Powers? You'd think it would be tolerating Desiree', but that's just a lifetime of training. Actually, both of us can become super strong due to an extreme adrenal reaction. I can manage it through self-control...Desiree' needs somebody to hurt her to provoke the response. Needless to say, she's a spanking man's dream.
-->'''Desiree:''' I heard that!
-->'''Eva:''' Just callin' 'em as I see 'em.
-->'''Desiree:''' Bitch!
-->'''Eva:''' Whore.
-->'''Desiree:''' Skank!
-->'''Eva:''' Pain slut.
-->'''Desiree:''' Culero!
* [[http://bash.org/?23396 The top-rated quote]] on Bash.org is a somewhat meta version.
* WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic and WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd do this in their first brawl.
* WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick, Nella and Tammy use the Wii FIT to insult the hell out of each other instead of just using it for exercise.
* [[http://everythingsucksforever.tumblr.com/post/3663981620/zing Two people]] from the blog Everything Sucks Forever.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation ]]
* On ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', in the episode "Pressure", an argument between [=SpongeBob=] and Sandy over whether land creatures or sea creatures are better leads to one of these. It ends when [=SpongeBob=] can't think of a better insult than "not-wet person".
* An ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' sketch features Yakko trading insults with "[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Howard Tern]]", ultimately winning out when the best insult Tern can think of is "You're a little shorty-shorty."
* WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead do this to each other constantly. On more than one occasion, it's actually shown as a sign of endearment.
* On ''WesternAnimation/TheTick'' (the animated version), this happens between Die Fledermaus and American Maid: "Jerk!" "Jingoist!"
* The ''WesternAnimation/EarthwormJim'' cartoon gave us this classic...
-->'''Professor Monkey-For-A-Head:''' Yellow belly!\\
'''Psycrow:''' Know-it-all!\\
'''Professor:''' Bubble head!\\
'''Psycrow:''' Monkey fancier!\\
'''Professor:''' (''brandishing enormous gun'') YOU LEAVE MY MONKEY OUT OF THIS!
* In ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'', Katara and Sokka pick a fight in front of some Fire Nation soldiers [[BadBadActing to try and get Katara arrested...]]
-->'''Sokka:''' Get out of my way, pipsqueak!\\
'''Katara:''' How ''dare'' you call me pipsqueak, you giant-eared cretin!\\
'''Sokka:''' ''What'' did you call me?\\
'''Katara:''' A giant-eared cretin. Look at those things! (''she flaps her hands around her own ears'') Do herds of animals use them for shade?\\
'''Sokka:''' You better back off! (''quietly'') Seriously back off.\\
'''Katara:''' I will not back off! I bet elephants get together and make fun of how large your ears are!\\
'''Sokka:''' That's it, ''you're going down!''
* ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures''. This happens whenever Uncle and Tohru's mom are in the same room.
* Siblings Bonnie and Billy often did this in the first season of ''WesternAnimation/{{Popples}}''.
* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' runs nuts on this trope, usually revolving around Cartman. After about season 4 or so, any scene featuring him and Kyle has about a 50% chance of devolving into an exchange of insults focusing on Kyle's Judaism and Cartman's weight.
* Ed and Edd exchange this in ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' over a hunk of rotting cheese Ed keeps in his jacket. But Ed's only insult he made was "STINKY HAT!"
* In the ''WesternAnimation/TimeSquad'' episode "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Monty Zuma", Tuddrussel and RobotBuddy Larry 3000 start doing this when Tuddrussel gets tired of trying to remain polite and civilized while dealing with Larry mocking him. This ends up working out, as they distract the audience at a comedy contest with their barbs, discouraging Montezuma from becoming a stand-up comic instead of king of the Aztecs.
-->'''Tuddrussel:''' I tried to look up your Blue Book value, and it said you were ''worthless.''\\
'''Larry 3000:''' Well, I tried to measure your I.Q., but numbers don't go that low!
* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''
** From the episode "Stannie Get Your Gun".
-->'''Hayley:''' You're such a fascist!\\
'''Stan:''' Peace pusher!\\
'''Hayley:''' Murderer!\\
'''Stan:''' Hermaphrodite!
** And later
-->'''Hayley:''' Gun-toting maniac!\\
'''Stan:''' Beatnik!\\
'''Hayley:''' Warmonger!\\
'''Stan:''' Chupacabra!\\
'''Hayley:''' I'm the Mexican Bigfoot?\\
'''Stan:''' You heard her, she admitted it!
* From the ''WesternAnimation/MikeLuAndOg'' episode "Tea for Three".
-->'''Mike:''' You're just mad because I wouldn't be your personal fanboy!\\
'''Lu:''' Am not, thief!\\
'''Mike:''' Are too, liar!\\
'''Lu:''' Tea hater!\\
'''Mike:''' Pain-in-the-pajamas!
* Throughout ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'', Rattrap and Dinobot were prone to doing this. Especially in "The Low Road":
-->'''Dinobot:''' Excuse me. Are you implying that the current situation is somehow...''my'' responsibility?!\\
'''Rattrap:''' Well, you did start it... ''gearhead''!\\
'''Dinobot:''' I BEG to differ... cheese lips!\\
'''Rattrap:''' Pre-evolved birdbrain!\\
'''Dinobot:''' Eater of garbage!\\
'''Cheetor:''' (''listening'') Sheesh, and they call ''me'' the immature one.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Real Life]]
* Prime Minister's question time (yes, that really is what it's called) in the UK can descend into this. Luckily there is someone with the job of "Speaker of the House" who stops it going on for too long. There has been at least one incidence of an argument over music groups breaking out (paraphrased);
-->'''MP:''' (''speaking about the recently ''unelected'' Gordon Brown'') ...as Music/TheWhiteStripes say, "Everyday I love you less and less".\\
'''David Cameron:''' Actually I think you'll find that song is actually by Music/KaiserChiefs. [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments Incidentally, I Predict a Riot]].
* Also frequently occurs in the Australian Federal Parliament's Question Time. Certain politicians are infamous (and often popular) for their command of invective, but the all-time champ in the last few decades was former Prime Minister Paul Keating. Many of his 'greatest hits' can be found on Website/YouTube, and make quite entertaining viewing. They call the floor of the Australian Parliament the "bear pit" for good reason.
* Sir WinstonChurchill is known for more than a few of these. A small sampling:
-->'''Lady Astor:''' If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.\\
'''Churchill:''' If I were your husband, I'd drink it.\\\
'''Elizabeth Braddock:''' Winston, you are drunk.\\
'''Churchill:''' And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, ''I'' shall be sober.
* If you have multiple children who are capable of speech, odds are this will ensue. Even if they are incapable of speech, they will find a way to do this. Bickering trumps all obstacles.
* Known as "The Dozens", this is a semi-friendly practice of trying to top each others' insults. This is thought to have originated from the slave-trade practice of selling less valuable (old, feeble, deformed) or less skilled slaves by "the dozens", where being included in that group was the lowest insult imaginable.
* Creator/RogerEbert's feud with VincentGallo. After reviewing the premier of Gallo's ''Film/TheBrownBunny'' as "the worst film in the history of Cannes," Gallo retorted that Ebert was "a fat pig with the physique of a slave trader." [[ShoutOut Taking a page out of Churchill's book]], Ebert proclaimed that [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome "one day I will be thin, but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of ''The Brown Bunny''."]] Gallo then claimed to have hexed Ebert's colon, and Ebert replied that a colonoscopy would be preferable to watching the movie again. They have since made up.
* Creator/HenrikWergeland and rival poet Johan Sebastian Welhaven ended in this while students. The Student`s society had a news wall where clips and scraps were pinned up for public reading. One of the two wrote a humorous verse pointed at the other, and the fight started from there. This quarrel is the more famous because the whole round of insults were in metre and rhyme, and lasted for [[UpToEleven almost a year]]. And ''then'' somebody witty decided to ''print'' the verses in a newspaper... The "scrap feud" became cultural history in a matter of days, as ''everybody else'' entered the debate.
[[/folder]]

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