[[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1427922/ultamite_nineball "ultamite nineball"]] officially spelled with AllLowercaseLetters was a FanFic writer in the ''{{Redwall}}'' fandom known for his uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh interesting writing style To this date he has written only three fics respectively titled "Blood omen" "soulless shell" and "Enough" but those were enough to cement his notoriety

[[SelfDemonstratingArticle Yes, he has quite a problem with punctuation]].
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!!ultamite nineball's works provide examples of:

* AbusiveParents: Jacob towards Blain.
* AccidentalInnuendo: Perhaps worst is the bit where Leif attacks a rapist with the words "Now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity". Disregarding his impressive lung capacity, what the hell is he ''doing'' with those magical knives? [[AvertedTrope Or... considering this is]] UltamiteNineball [[AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering we are talking about here,]]... probably not that much.
* AerithAndBob: Characters' names include Leif, Maoimi, Aveena, Karas, Thrnos, Monroe and Arnold.
* [[AllLowercaseLetters all lowercase letters]]
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Raynold's only defining characteristic.
* AuthorityEqualsAsskicking: For Leif, and it's mentioned that Catartos is an experienced spy while Rajh is a veteran warrior. By contrast, the rest of the council is mostly useless.
* BadassBoast: The CrowningMomentOfFunny is an attempt at one of these.
* BeigeProse: "Ahh he yelled as he slashed him his blood hit the floor."
* BlackComedyRape: Unintentionally so.
* BoringInvincibleHero: There are no opponents who could present any sort of challenge to Zain or Leif.
* CardboardPrison: Arnold talks his guards into letting him out and joining him in revenge against Leif.
* CrowningMomentOfFunny: See {{Narm}}.
* CurbStompBattle: Zain and Leif against everyone they fight. Lampshaded in Leif's encounter with three of Arnold's guards (who, to be fair, as {{Mook}}s, wouldn't give most heroes any trouble, either).
* DarkerAndEdgier: Well, at least it's trying to be.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: At one point, Thrnos bows twice in a single run-on sentence.
* DualWielding: Leif dual-wields knives in his demon form, and Jacob has PropheticDreams of Blain growing up to dual-wield [[{{BFS}} claymores]].
* WickedWeasel: Arnold is a ferret.
* FatBastard: Arnold, again. He's even described as one in-story.
* FatIdiot: Arnold. See TooDumbToLive.
* HugeGuyTinyGirl: Leif isn't actually all that big in his mortal form, but Maoimi apparently can't reach above his waist.
* InNameOnly: This thing bears no relation to the canon except for the fact that it's briefly mentioned that the characters are rats/mice/foxes/ferrets/whatever, and are the "evil" species of the world. Except Leif is half-rat half-mouse and is a good guy, yet is the leader of the bad guys ... [[MST3KMantra Try not to think about it too hard.]]
* IndecisiveParody: It can't be real, right?
* InterspeciesRomance: The title of "crimson king" can be held only by a half-rat half-mouse, so Leif's and Zain's parents fall under this heading.
* KnifeNut: Leif likes to wield daggers and throwing knives.
* LaResistance: Maria and her mother are the leaders of the "rebel group zaridos".
* LargeHam: Leif. See "Narm".
* {{Lolicon}}: Seemingly Maoimi, who behaves like a toddler and apparently can't reach above Leif's waist when hugging him.
-->'''Ara:''' "Wait, wait, she's seventeen? We've been making paedophile jokes the whole time for a reason, she acts like she's seven!"
* MostFanficWritersAreGirls: Averted - the author claimed to be a 15-year-old boy. The evidence suggests he is indeed male, but is probably overstating his age, if he's not trolling.
* MSTing: See links.
* {{Narm}}: "Leif walked into the alley SO ARNOLD HE YELLLED TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MORE POOR YOUNG GIRLS EH I GUESS I WAS TOO LATE TO STOP YOU FROM TAKING THIS YOUNG GIRLS INNOCENCE BUT IT IS NOT TO LATE FOR ME TO KILL YOU."
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: Particularly Zain, who literally develops a new power with every fight scene.
* NoEnding: All three fics. He appears to have become bored and/or discouraged by the lack of reviews.
* NoIndoorVoice: Characters SHOUT A LOT. Described by someone on LiveJournal thus: "It's like Bruce Banner and the Hulk, except when Leif gets pissed off, he turns into Captain Capslock."
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: Leif performs one on Arnold.
* OddNameOut: Arnold. See the MST:
-->"It's really just the 'Arnold' bit that's bugging me, because the first thing I thought of was the governor of California. You can tell the author's just out of ideas."
* [[OlderThanTheyLook Older Than They Sound]]: Maoimi.
* OneWingedAngel: Leif's bizarre winged transformation, which comes completely out of left field.
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Especially "Councilmen Rajh, Councilmen Arnold" etc. How many of each of them are there?
** “Common im defiantly a match for you”
* RuleOfCool: If he's writing in seriousness, this is probably what the writer is going for.
* ScarsAreForever: On Rajh.
* ShoutOut: The "crimson king" routine is a reference to the DemonsAndWizards song "Crimson King". The song itself was based on Franchise/TheDarkTower, though it's unclear if the writer knows this. Also, during "Blood omen", Zain sings the Music/{{Helloween}} song "Keeper of the Seven Keys" for reasons having apparently nothing to do with the story.
* SinisterScythe: Zain wields a scythe, which he keeps in {{Hammerspace}}.
* SpellMyNameWithAnS: Raynold/Reynold and Akira/Akria.
* StealthParody[=/=]TrollFic: The quality implies it's intentionally bad, though there's something eerily earnest about it.
* TalkingIsAFreeAction: Leif spends a long time yelling at Arnold before actually attacking, and it doesn't occur to Arnold to run while he does this.
* TeleportersAndTransporters: Leif as well as at least one other person.
* ToThePain: See CrowningMomentOfFunny.
* TooDumbToLive[=/=]WhatAnIdiot: Arnold falls for Leif's not very clever bluff, inadvertently confessing to his crimes while begging for mercy as Leif sentences him to death. It's suggested that had he not done that, Leif might not have had enough evidence to actually sentence him to death.
* UnfortunateImplications: Leif declares that he must keep an eye on Maiomi because "she is a seventeen-year-old girl she is bound to be assaulted and raped sooner or later". Thanks, asshole. Then again, maybe he's just GenreSavvy.
* TheUnpronounceable: Thrnos.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Nobody reacts in the slightest to Leif or Zain's monster forms and beam-shooting.
* WaifFu: The first fight scene in "soulless shell" with Leif learning to shoot beams from his paw takes place when Leif is only three or four (we think, it's quite hard to tell with the clumsy pacing).
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: When there actually ''is'' any punctuation whatever.
* VerbalTic: Leif often inserts "eh" into his sentences, despite [[CanadaEh not apparently being Canadian]].

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