->'''Luis:''' ''Okay. I was at a wine tasting with my cousin Ernesto. Which was mainly reds, and you know I don't like reds, man. But there was a rose that saved the day. It was delightful. And then he tells me about this girl, Emily, that we used to kick it with. It was actually the first pair of boobs I ever touched. So, uh, he tells me that she's working as a housekeeper now, right? And she's dating this dude, Carlos, who's a shot caller from across the bay. And she tells him about the dude that she's cleaning for. Right? That he's like this big-shot CEO, that is all retired now, but he's loaded. And so, Carlos and Ernesto are on the same softball team, and they get to talking, right? And here comes the good part. Carlos says, "Yo, man. This guy's got a big-ass safe just sitting in the basement, just chilling." Of course Ernesto comes to me because he knows I got mad thieving skills. Of course, I ask him... "Did Emily tell Carlos to tell you to get to me what kind of safe it was?" And he says, "Nah, dawg. All she said is that it's super-legit and whatever's in it it's gotta be good."''
->'''Scott:''' ''[[FlatWhat What?]]''
->'''Kurt:''' ''Old man have safe. And he's gone for a week.''
->'''Scott:''' ''All right, there's an old man, he's got a safe, and he's gone for a week. Let's just work with that''
-->-- '''Film/AntMan'''

A sister trope to ItsALongStory, this is a StockPhrase, usually pulled out when a character sums up something really complicated with a few choice words. Either that, or they're using the phrase ironically.

For example:

'''Character A:''' And then what happened?\\
'''Character B:''' Well, to make a long story short, I won't be going to the [[NoodleIncident Noodle Emporium]] anytime soon.

And for the second variety:

'''Character 1:''' ...and so, to make a long story short, we ended up using [[NoodleImplements two chopsticks, a scarf, a bottle of shampoo, a dead moose, and the tophat from Monopoly]] to make our escape.\\
'''Character 2:''' You call that story short?

Contrast with ShortStoryLong. If it's used ironically, see UnaccustomedAsIAmToPublicSpeaking.


[[folder: Anime and Manga ]]

* ''Manga/NabariNoOu'':
--> '''Shijima''': Long story short, we're bound together by destiny.
--> '''Kouichi''': That's a really abridged version of the truth! It's not like that at all!


[[folder: Film ]]

* In the movie version of ''Film/{{Clue}}'', Wadsworth repeatedly says this, with the other characters always shouting "Too late!" in unison afterwards.
* ''Film/TerminatorGenisys''. Detective O'Brien offers Sarah Connor his help if she'd just explain what's going on, but [[TimeyWimeyBall acknowledges that any explanation involving time travel is likely to be complicated]].
-->'''Sarah:''' We're trying to stop the end of the world.
-->'''O'Brien:''' I can work with that.


[[folder: Literature ]]

* Every ''Literature/CaptainUnderpants'' story has a chapter entitled this, usually after a character says something to the effect of "I hope this works!" followed by the chapter only having something like "It worked".
* In the short story ''Literature/RipVanWinkle'' Washington Irving uses the phrase to wrap up the narrative.


[[folder: Live-Action TV ]]

* In ''Series/PowerRangersOperationOverdrive'', [[CloudCuckoolander Bridge]] sums up where he's been since the end of ''Series/PowerRangersSPD'': "Oh, uh, yeah, well, long story short, our mentor who's, well, a dog, got promoted to head of SPD which was run by a bird but he retired to Miami, and Sky got promoted and I got promoted. That's why I'm the Red Ranger, [[TimeTravelTenseTrouble or will be]]."
* ''Series/RedDwarf'', "Gunmen of the Apocalypse":
-->'''Rimmer:''' Well, if you'll just bear with me, I think I've devised a fair and equitable system of choosing who should survive. It's based on age, rank, seniority, usefulness...to cut a long story short it's me. I was as stunned as you are, which is why I demanded a recount. But blow me! If it didn't come out as me again!
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': Kelso uses this a lot. To give one example: "I was one of the most promising young shortstops ever to come out of Altoona Pennsylvania. Then came the Dominicans. Long story short...calling them all 'Pepe' was apparently just racist enough to get me a life-long ban from the Appalachian Rookie League."
* ''Series/VeronicaMars'': An episode had Veronica's friend Wallace happily taking his sweet time, now that he got to tell the story about how he weaselled information out of somebody, getting to the point. After which he summed up with, "To make a long story short..." to which she replied "Ha!"
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'': Subverted multiple times, usually along the lines of:
--> '''Willow''': Oz is a werewolf.
--> '''Buffy''': [[ItsALongStory It's a long story]].
--> '''Oz''': I got bit.
--> '''Buffy''': Apparently, not that long.
* In one episode of ''Series/TheRedGreenShow'' Red says "So to make a long story, well, fairly long..."


[[folder: Music ]]

* There's a Willie Nelson song called "To Make A Long Story Short (She's Gone)."
* From Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Everything You Know is Wrong":
-->I was just about to mail a letter to my EvilTwin\\
When I got a nasty paper cut\\
And, well, to make a long story short\\
It got infected and I died


[[folder: Theatre ]]

* Despite saying the opposite, Polonius in ''{{Theatre/Hamlet}}'' proceeds to go on a long winded rant of 'advice' to his daughter Ophelia. To boot it's pretty useless and patronizing advice.


[[folder: Video Games ]]

* ''ViddeoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'': "Long story short, you have a magical evening. [[InvertedTrope Short story long]]? [[{{Doorstopper}} Anything by Dickens]]."
* Used with snarky commentary in ''VideoGame/EscapeFromMonkeyIsland''.
--> '''Voodoo Lady''': To make a long story short...
--> '''Guybrush''': Too late.


[[folder: Webcomics ]]

* ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort'': ''Back at FOX, we had this great idea for the next plot line. It had [[EverythingsbetterWithMonkeys monkeys]] and [[EverythingsbetterWithSamurai samurai]], crazy stuff. Long story short: big chemical spill.''


[[folder: Web Original ]]

* Presumably as a ShoutOut to ''Clue'', Linkara of ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall'' has "To make a long story short (too late)" as one of his many {{Catch Phrase}}s.


[[folder: Western Animation ]]

* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons:
** In "Hurricane Neddy'', Ned Flanders asks Rev. Lovejoy if God is testing him, Lovejoy answers, "Short answer: yes, with an if. Long answer: no, with a but."
** And in another episode with Grandpa Simpson telling a [[ShaggyFrogStory long, pointless story]] to the rest of the family...
--->'''Grandpa''': Anyway, [[HopeSpot long story short]]... is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling...
* Inverted horrifically in the ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode "I Should Never Have Gone Ziplining": one of the other folks on the ziplining tour basically tells everyone his life story... prefacing each part with "[[BlatantLies To make a long story short...]]". For the boys, it practically becomes a MadnessMantra.


[[folder: Other ]]

* The [=McSweeney=]'s article ''[[http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/12/21parang.html Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration]]'' is really, really funny. To give one example:
-->"So, earlier today, I went to get some lunch at Quizno's, but on the way I ran into Emily, who was going to Burger King instead, so we thought we might as well go to lunch together ... so, long story short, two plus two doesn't equal four anymore."