...The kind that puts everyone into two groups and everyone else.

Unfortunately, there are more than two kinds of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLW_OCLzjCY There Are Two Kinds of People in the World]] jokes in the world: tautologies, false dichotomies, and jokes.

# [[ShapedLikeItself Tautologies]]: "There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who fit, and those who don't." Logically, this statement is self-evident: [[CaptainObvious either you are, or you aren't]]. ("X, and everyone else" is another variation.)
# [[FalseDichotomy False Dichotomies]]: "There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like X, and those who have no taste." To a [[TheSpock humorless logician]], these are just false. To everyone else, there are two kinds of this joke: the ones that fall flat and offend everyone, [[RuleOfFunny and the ones that are funny regardless]].
# Meta-jokes: These play off of the structure of the phrase. Most of these, once the joke is understood, [[OverusedRunningGag fall into one of two classes]]: A Tautology utilizing the theme of the joke or a Subversion of the phrase itself.

Compare WithUsOrAgainstUs. See also MyFriendsAndZoidberg, where this trope is modified into a more insulting form. Contrast NotSoDifferent.

----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* For Volkswagen, it's "passengers" and "drivers", with the hope of encouraging more people to be drivers.
* One Internet ad uses false dichotomy form of this trope. It asks viewers whether or not China is the world's major superpower. Above the "yes" was an image of China's flag, while above the "no" was an image of the American flag. This essentially implies that people who answer "no" believe that America is the world's major superpower. While the United States is the most logical alternative, there are still other countries, depending on one's definition, that could be considered superpowers as well.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* In the ninth ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'' movie, ''Anime/PokemonRangerAndTheTempleOfTheSea'', the BigBad says this phrase constantly, changing the actual contrast based on the current situation.
* A variation appears in ''OutlawStar'':
-->'''Hilda:''' Well, it's just like it is with the stars; there are bright ones, and there are those that are dim.
* Parodied in ''Mr. Fullswing'', where Amakuni says that there are two kinds of people in this world... those with clothes and those without. While that's, like, technically true, it means absolutely nothing.
* Anime/DragonBallZ: "There are only two kinds of people: those who obey Freiza, and those who do not obey Freiza!"
* The ''SandsOfDestruction''/''WorldDestruction'' anime has the show's episodes do this as part of IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming and also has a character say it as his CatchPhrase.
* Sena from ''LightNovel/BokuWaTomodachiGaSukunai'' has this to say: "... There are two types of women. Ones that I can get along with, and all the other bitches. All those bitches who I can't get along with should just die..."
* According to Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya in Remote Island Syndrome, there are two kinds of people when you're in a mystery, those who are suspicious, and those who are suspicious for not being suspicious.
* Kagerou of InuXBokuSS takes this UpToEleven by [[LargeHam constantly declaring]] that ''everything'' in the world, even ''inanimate objects'', is either a sadist or a masochist.
* Naotsugu in ''LightNovel/LogHorizon'' believes with passion that AllMenArePerverts and that they are either openly perverted like him or [[CovertPervert closet perverts]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* A piece of advice from the second Trickster's father in ''TheFlash'':
--> "There's two things you can be in life, Axel. Either you're the trickster, or you're the one gettin' tricked!"
* ''ComicBook/{{Preacher}}'' includes a scene where it is suggested that a person who likes Laurel and Hardy and hates Charlie Chaplin is a "stand up guy" while a person who prefers Chaplin "probably rapes sheep". This is supposed to parody a Tarantino line about whether you prefer Elvis to the Beatles.
** And from [[{{Comicbook/Hitman}} another]] GarthEnnis [[{{Comicbook/Hitman}} series]]: "...People who like Creators/ClintEastwood movies, and dweebs."
* From ''YTheLastMan'':
-->'''Alter:''' There are only two kinds of people, those above the earth and those beneath it. Which side do you choose?
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* The Joker from ''WebVideo/TheJokerBlogs'' has a version with three kinds of people: "The optimistic who find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half-empty. Then there's the paranoid; they just think someone's drinking out of their glass." Of course, the Joker makes himself [[TakeAThirdOption a fourth option]]: someone who tips the glass over.
* ''MyImmortal'' seems to divide the entire population of its derailed Franchise/HarryPotter-verse into "Goths" and "Preps." (And, occasionally, posers -- preps who pretend to be goth but really aren't.) That there could be living, breathing people who neither belong to nor care about ''either'' of these two social groups simply never occurs to the author.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/TheGoodTheBadAndTheUgly''
** Blondie and Tuco from have this kind of thing going:
--->'''Tuco:''' There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those with a rope around their neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.
** Another one appears when Blondie kills the assassins hired by Tuco to take him out, only to be ambushed by Tuco himself.
--->'''Tuco:''' There are two kinds of spurs in the world, my friend. Those that come by the door, and those that come through the window.
** Blondie does a CallBack to this after [[spoiler:unloading Tuco's gun so that he could kill Angel Eyes in the final showdown]]:
--->'''Blondie:''' There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
* ''Franchise/StarWars'': Obi-Wan's infamous line in ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith'', "Only the Sith deal in absolutes!" combines this with bizarre hypocrisy. [[JediTruth Not that bizarre hypocrisy is anything new for him.]] It's even more bizarre when you realize that the ''refusal'' to deal in absolutes is precisely what caused Anakin Skywalker to turn to the dark side. He believed Palpatine's rationalization that it was acceptable to employ the dark side of the Force if the outcome was a benevolent one (in this case, saving his wife).
* From the movie ''DirtyWork'':
-->'''Mitch:''' There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
-->'''Kathy:''' Where did you come up with that theory?
-->'''Mitch:''' That famous guy said it. What's his name? Oh yeah, Jesus!
** Probably this is from Lenin's slightly politer 'there are two kinds of people in this world: who and whom [those who do and those to whom it is done]'
* A variation in ''Domino'':
-->'''Domino Harvey:''' There are [[TakeAThirdOption three]] kinds of people in the world: the poor, the rich, [[TakeAThirdOption and everyone in between]].[[note]]Also a pretty useless observation. What she's literally saying is "[[CaptainObvious everybody fits]] ''[[CaptainObvious somewhere]]'' [[CaptainObvious in terms of wealth or lack therof]]".[[/note]]
* ''Film/MyBigFatGreekWedding''. "There are two kinds of people in the world... Greeks... and people who ''wish'' they were Greeks."
* ''Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice'' has three kinds of people in the world: dicks (who fuck everything), pussies (who ''get'' fucked by everything), and assholes (who shit on everything).
--> '''Gary Johnston'''': ''We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!''
** It seems that Parker and Stone are a bit more "ha ha only serious" than they originally let on, there. You can see the same speech given by another libertarian luminary, Bill Whittle. He calls it [[http://pajamasmedia.com/ejectejecteject/2009/10/07/tribes-2/ TRIBES]], and the three groups are "sheepdogs (protect sheep, attack wolves)", "sheep (protected by sheepdogs, attacked by wolves)" and "wolves (attack ''everyone'')", respectively, but it's the same basic idea.
* Who can forget the classic line in ''Film/WhatAboutBob'' by the titular character himself?: "There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him."
* In ''SaturdayNightFever'', there are two types of "girls", according to John Travolta's character. "You gotta decide now, [[strike:Sandy]] Annette. Are you gonna put out? You're either gonna be a nice girl or a cunt."
* In the Brazilian film ''Tropa de Elite'' (a.k.a. ''TheEliteSquad'') the (arguably) protagonist/narrator says Brazilian cops have three options: omit themselves, corrupt themselves, or go to war.
* In the Japanese movie ''Swing Girls'', a jock-ish minor character seems to start all his sentences this way, leaving the protagonists on the negative end, of course. It isn't until the swing band's penultimate performance that he changes his mind.
* In ''TheLongestDay'' during the battle for Omaha Beach, a ranking character dealing with getting the men off the beach and past the bunkers gives a variation on this trope: "Two kinds of people are staying on this beach! The dead and those that are going to die!"
** This line was then done as a ShoutOut in ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty: Big Red One''.
*** Actually, it's TruthInTelevision. An officer actually ran along the beach yelling that at the men in order to get them to push forward, as they were all taking cover behind whatever they could instead of trying to take the beach.
* The infinitely preachy, SoBadItsGood film The ButterCreamGang has the main characters ex-best friend say this line after he falls under a bad influence. "There are two people in the world: Your friends and your enemies." He doesn't seem to have anything in mind about people he's never met.
* In ''TheManchurianCandidate'' these are "Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off."
* ''Film/FiveHundredDaysOfSummer'' : "There's only two kinds of people in the word. [[CaptainObvious There's women. And there's men.]]
** [[UsefulNotes/{{Transsexual}} And then there are those who are not men or women. Or who are both. Or who are some combination of these.]]
* ''[[TheBoondockSaints The Boondock Saints 2]]: All Saints Day'': Rocco tells us that there are "talkers" and "do-er's", and that "it's the do-er's that change this world."
* [[FullMetalJacket "Only two things come out of Texas! Steers and queers!]]
** Which comes with a GeniusBonus, since a steer could refer to a castrated bull.
* ''Film/JurassicParkIII'' "There are two kinds of boys: Astronauts and Astronomers"
* [[Film/CowboysAndAliens "Only two kinds of men get shot: criminals and victims."]]
* ''Film/TheMatrix'': "Two kinds of people: Those with power, and those without."
* In the film ''Film/NothingToLose'' with [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_to_Lose_%281997_film%29 Tim Robins and Martin Lawrence]].
-->'''Rig:''' There are two kinds of people in the world: Killers, and everybody else. [[ARealManIsAKiller Which one are you, huh]]?
-->'''Nick:''' ...I'm ''[[TakeAThirdOption married]].'' ''([[BlastingItOutOfTheirHands shoots Rig's gun]])''
* From PinkFlamingos:
--> Connie: I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone, my kind of people and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into. Have a ''nice'' day.
* ''Film/TheEliteSquad'' has a slight variation with Captain Nascimento's opening monologue:
--> '''Nascimento:'''"There are three kinds of policemen in Rio. Those who are corrupt, those who look the other way, and those who go to war."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* From TheGreatDivorce by CSLewis: There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor "Thy will be done."]]
* Subverted in ''Literature/HarryPotter'', where Sirius Black points out that the world isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters when Harry's suspecting Dolores Umbridge of being a Death Eater.
* There's a ''{{Pokemon}}'' novelization which promisingly opened stating that there are two types of people in the world: people who catch and train Pokémon themselves and people who try to steal other people's Pokémon. The immediate audience reaction is: "What about those people who sit around and have no interest in Pokémon whatsoever?"
* From ''Discworld/TheTruth'':
-->It is said that there are two types of people in the world: those who look at a glass that is exactly half full and say, "This is glass is half full," and those who look at the same glass and say, "This glass is half empty." But the world is ''ruled'' by the people who look at the glass and say, "Excuse me? ''Excuse'' me? This is ''my'' glass? I don't ''think'' so. My glass was full. And I had a bigger glass!"
** Detritus tries to do ''FullMetalJacket'' in ''Discworld/MenAtArms'':
-->'''Detritus''': Only ... ''(counts fingers)'' only two-er things come from Slice Mountain. Rocks, an' ... an' other sorts of rocks!
* [[http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/9/20warner.html This]] parody of David Brooks.
* ''Literature/FoucaultsPendulum'' claims there four kinds of people in the world: "cretins, fools, morons, and lunatics."
** Although at another point it goes for the more traditional two: "writers and editors".
* ''[[Literature/LegacyOfTheForce Invincible]]'' has Wedge Antilles, in hiding, hearing of his daughter Syal starting to date. He is not at all happy.
--> "There are two types of male pilots. Good men, such as the ones I never tried to break or run out of my squadrons, whom I would shoot before I ever trusted them with my daughter. And worse men, whom I would shoot if I caught them ''looking'' at my daughter."
* From ''[[Literature/TheActsOfCaine Blade of Tyshalle]]'':
--> "You know what they say. There are two kinds of people in the world: [[LampshadeHanging people who say things like 'There are two kinds of people in the world', and people who know those first people are full of shit.]]"
* The treecats from David Weber's Honorverse recognise two types of enemy: those who have been appropriately dealt with, and those who are still alive.
* Humorist Robert Benchley once noted that there were two types of people in the world: people who believe that there are two types of people in the world, and people who don't.
** This was parodied in Donald Westlake's short story ''[[http://www.donaldwestlake.com/shortstory2.html Don't You Know There's A War On?]]'', in which the inhabitants of a planet consist of two types of people: people who believe what Robert Benchley said about there being two types of people in the world, and people who don't.
* From the Pendragon series the Quillian Games. After being given a room with a clown motif.
--> There are two kinds of people in this world. People who hate and fear clowns... and clowns.
* A classic one from Rainsford in ''TheMostDangerousGame'': "This world's divided into two kinds of people: the hunter and the hunted."
* Fisk tries to use this in the ''KnightAndRogueSeries'' to describe what kind of nobleman Michael's father is, but can't help but admit that if he bothered to think about it he'd probably come up with at least thirty types.
* ''[[TabletopGame/ForgottenRealms Azure Bonds]]'' put things straight:
--> '''Alias''': Riding a wagon along protected trading routes in a guarded merchant caravan doesn't make you an adventurer. Until you've hiked more than twenty miles a day, slept in a ditch, and eaten something that tried to kill you first, you're not an adventurer. Anyone who isn't an adventurer is a greengrocer.
* In Creators/DavidLangford's ''The Leaky Establishment'' there are two kinds of nuclear weapons scientists: the [[WarIsGlorious hawks]] ("We're gonna [[AtomicHate build something]] that'll wipe out [[DirtyCommunists the bad guys]]!") and [[SelectiveObliviousness ostriches]] ("Gosh, this is [[ForScience an interesting application of the theory]], let's not think about [[ReluctantMadScientist why we're doing it]]"). (Well, three types: hawks, ostriches and [[CloudCuckooLander Roger Pell]].) The main character is an ostrich.
* In ''Literature/TheWayOfKings'', Kaladin's father, a surgeon, told him that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who save lives, and those who take lives. When he asks about people who save lives by taking lives, his father tells him, "That’s like trying to stop a storm by blowing harder. Ridiculous. You can’t protect by killing." Later in life, at his DespairEventHorizon, he concludes that there is a third kind of people: the victims whose lives exist to be killed or saved.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'': Season 6
--> '''Jonathan:''' It's true, my friends. The way I see it, life is like an interstellar journey. Some people go into hypersleep and travel at sub-light speeds, only to get where they're going after years of struggle, toil and hard, hard work. ''We'', on the other hand ...
--> '''Andrew:''' Blast through the space-time continuum in a wormhole?
--> '''Jonathan:''' Gentlemen... [lights cigar with flaming bill] '''CRIME''' is our wormhole!
* ''Series/RedDwarf'', "Meltdown": When Rimmer is inspecting the troops, he tells St. Francis: "There's only two kinds from Assisi, steers and queers -- which are you, boy?"
** Which is, of course, homage to FullMetalJacket in reference to things that come from Texas.
* In the first episode of Series/TheSarahJaneAdventures, ''Invasion of the Bane'', Sarah Jane tells Maria, "There are two types of people in this world. There are people who panic, and then there's us."
** At the start of the second season, she gives new recruit Rani a similar speech.
--> Sarah Jane: When it comes to getting a true glimpse of the universe, there are two types of people: [[WeirdnessCensor those who refuse to believe]], [[MasterOfDelusion that would tell themselves anything to deny the evidence of their eyes]], and those that [[JumpedAtTheCall embrace the universe and just how special life is]]. I want it to stay that way by keeping it safe and secret.
--> Rani: And that's me?
--> Sarah Jane: That's all of us.
* ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', ''Fever''. Chloe's dad told her [offscreen] there are two kinds of girls, the ones you grow out of, and the ones you grow into. [[FreudWasRight Well, the second part is straightforward enough,]] but there are girls you can grow ''out of'' in the Smallville 'verse? Who knew kryptonite infections could be so kinky?
* From a season 7 episode of ''Series/{{House}}'': "There are two kinds of people: those who move on, and those who can't."
* From the PushingDaisies episode ''Circus Circus'', the French acrobat tells Ned and Emerson that they are two types of people in the world- circus performers, and "stubs", those that watch.
* Brian Kinney of QueerAsFolk fame puts a homophobic spin on this trope with the oft-referenced quote: "There are two kinds of straight people in the world: the ones that hate you to your face, and the ones that hate you behind your back."
* On ILoveLucy, Fred tells Ricky: "There are two kinds of people in this world: The earners and the spenders, or as they are more popularly known: The husbands and the wives."
* ManipulativeBastard Tammy Swanson on ''ParksAndRecreation'': "There are two kinds of women in the world. There are women who work hard and stress out about doing the right thing, and then there are women who are cool."
* In ''Series/HarryEnfieldAndChums''. Perry on an Music/{{Oasis}} fanboy kick tells Kevin, "There's only two types of people, right? There's us and there's wankers."
* The good people of ''Series/LawAndOrder'' love this trope. Notable example; in the Fifth Season premiere (which introduced Jack [=McCoy=] and Detective Van Buren) the case involved a woman who died from a dangerous alternate treatment for breast cancer. Van Buren observed, "There are two kinds of women in this world; those who are afraid of getting breast cancer, and those who already have it."
* In ''Series/TheMagnificentSeven'', an establishing character moment for Ezra in the pilot is when he describes the villagers and the Seven in these terms
-->''Ezra:'' "There are two kinds of people in this life, my friend. Those who seek battle and seem not to fear death...like them. And those who avoid battle, but will stand and fight to the death if their loved ones are threatened...like them. That is true courage."
** Provides a CallBack later, after he [[spoiler: flees the fight to save his own skin]], as he turns back toward the village and adds "and there's a third kind", obviously in reference to himself.
* Kristen Wiig's parody of Kathie Lee Gifford on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'': "You know, there's two types of people in the world; people that get it and people that don't. And the people that don't get it know who they are." ''[long silence]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* "Two kinds of people in this world. Winners, losers." - [[Music/FleetwoodMac Lindsey Buckingham]], "Go Insane".
* ''There's only two types of people in the world:\\
The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe''
-->--'''Music/BritneySpears''', "Circus"
** ''There's only two types of guys out there:\\
Ones that can hang with me, and ones that are scared''
* Subverted by the ''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'' introduction to the song "A Kiss is Not a Contract":
-->"There are two kinds of people in the world. I'm one kind..." "And I'm the other."
* The Magnetic Fields song "Two Kinds Of People".
-->There are two kinds of people: A) My love and I, B) Other.
* "The Quick and The Dead" by Music/{{Accept}}:
-->''There's two kinds of people... The Quick and the Dead.''
* Meta-version in "There is a War" by Music/LeonardCohen:
-->"There is a war between the ones who say there is a war/and the ones who say there isn't."
* Music/MerleHaggard's "[[http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/haggard-merle/my-own-kind-of-hat-517.html My Own Kind of Hat]]" is a variant.
* Townes Van Zandt was fond of introducing some of his more TearJerker-ish songs with "There are only two kinds of music, the blues and 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah'. This ain't 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah'."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
* From Wrestling/TheRoadWarriors' post-match interview on the October 3, 1987 ''NWA World Championship Wrestling'':
-->'''HAWK''': "'''[[NoIndoorVoice WELL]]''', Tony Schiavone, There Are Two Kinds Of People In The World, as far as me and Animal are concerned. Clamheads and [[Film/TheBreakfastClub Neo-Maxi Zoom Dweebies]]."[[note]]Here, the LOD were the Neo-Maxi Zoom Dweebies and the Clamheads were the [=Four Horsemen=].[[/note]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Puppet Shows]]
* In the French satiric show ''Series/LesGuignolsDeLInfo'', making this kind of statements is the main schtick of the puppet parodying Creators/ClintEastwood, as a reference to his role in ''Film/TheGoodTheBadAndTheUgly''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
* In the [[Creators/TheBBC BBC]] Radio 4 comedy ''Radio/AbsolutePower'' (but not the TV version) Charles Prentiss has a variety of poetic versions to put down Maurice the waiter (usually after Maurice has corrected his [[AccidentalMisnaming pronunciation of Maurice]]).
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* ''Theatre/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet'': The title character, in the big showstopping VillainSong "Epiphany," explains his OmnicidalManiac stance by noting that there are two types of people.
-->Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett,\\
There are two kinds of men and only two.\\
There's the one staying put in his proper place\\
And the one with his foot in the other one's face!\\
Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you!
* "The Way Things Are", the VillainProtagonist song from ''I Can Get It For You Wholesale''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* According to Quina from ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIX'', there are only two things in this world: Things you can eat, and things you no can eat.
* A disgruntled cook in ''VideoGame/JadeEmpire'' puts it like this: "In this world, there are heroes, and there are people who clap as heroes walk by." Guess which one you are?
* ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' example: "There are two sorts of men in this world: the sort with [[BoomHeadshot blood pouring out of a hole in their heads]], and the sort holding the [[HandCannon Ambassador.]]"
* ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'': [[GTARadio Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith's]] view on the world: "There's two kinds of people in this world: Those who like me... and those who can go to hell!"
* Lampshaded by VideoGame/YouDontKnowJack: We at Jellyvision believe there are two kinds of people in the world... males and females.
* Zeke Dunbar paraphrases GeorgeBernardShaw's ''Maxims for Revolutionists'' #124 prior to the finale of VideoGame/{{inFAMOUS 2}}:
-->''"The way I see it, there's basically two types of people. Most of them are guys like me. Guys that sit on the couch, we might not like the shit that happens to us, but we deal with it. Then there are guys like you."''
* Both Vladof and Dahl radio ads in ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'' have variations on this phrase. Vladof claims the two kinds of people are the oppressors and the oppressed ("Which one are ''you''?"); Dahl says the ''three'' kinds are people who need to be killed, the people who kill them, and the people who pay the 2nd group.
* In ''VideoGame/WargameEuropeanEscalation'' and its sequels, artillery units often say, "There are two types of people in this world: artillerymen, and targets."
* About a quarter of Andrew Ryan's dialogue in ''VideoGame/BioShock1'' is devoted to his personal philosophy that everyone can be divided into one of two groups: men (people in control of their destinies) and slaves (people who let others dictate their lives). [[ArcWords "A man chooses, a slave obeys."]] On occasion, he also draws distinction between men (here defined as innovators and creators) and parasites (those who cannot create and instead use society, government, and religion to feed on the work of men).
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* To a [[FriendlyHostility Maharassa]], there are three kinds of people in the world: family to protect, bitches to sex up, and ''prey''.
* Implied in ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' -- [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050105.html "There are customers we serve, and then there are customers we service."]]
* The Mimic in ''Webcomic/RustyAndCo'' [[http://rustyandco.com/comic/32/ observes]] that "There's really only two kinds'a vilains out there..."
* In [[http://egscomics.com/?date=2007-03-10 this]] strip of ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', Nanase's mom claims "There are two kinds of people in this world Nanase: good people who make things better and bad people who make things worse."
* Luke Surl found [[http://www.lukesurl.com/archives/2944 another two]].
* ASofterWorld: [[http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=648 In this world, there are two kinds of people]], people like me, with [[KnifeNut knives]], and people like you, with [[EyeScream eyeballs]]
** [[http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=890 There are two kinds of people in this world. And I don't like them.]]
* UrbanJungle parodies the glass half empty/half full idea [[http://www.urbanjunglecomic.com/?p=459 here]]
* ''TranquilityBase'' has two robots do it with style: "There are 10 types of people, those that understand binary and those who don't."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Website/{{Cracked}}: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15636_the-10-most-terrifyingly-inspirational-80s-songs.html "There are two kinds of people in this world]]: People who love Music/{{Journey}} ironically and people who love Journey genuinely."
* [[http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/30756835.jpg I hate both of them.]]
* WebVideo/TheJokerBlogs gives us one in episode 9
-->'''Joker:''' Y'know, there are three kinds of people in this world: The optimistic who find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half-empty. Then there's the paranoid; they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.
-->'''Corrigan:''' Which one are you?
-->'''Joker:''' I'm the one that [[ChaoticEvil knocks the glass over]].
* WebVideo/TheFanFictionCritic delivers an oddly specific one in one of her reviews. "There are two types of people. There are normal people and then there are people who [[PerverseSexualLust want to have sex with this.]] "This" being Frollo from ''Disney/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame''." Guess which kind wrote the fic she's reviewing.
* In the French webnovel ''Les Aventures de Morgoth'' (Chapter 6 part 20), Vertu explains about her greatest enemy:
-->'''Vertu:''' Mankind is divided into two categories: Those who overestimate Condeezza, and those who don't know her. Natural selection quickly removed those who underestimated her.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In ''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown]]'', Charlie Brown's party invitation prompts Lucy to say there are two kinds of people; people to invite and people not to invite. She assumes Charlie Brown was put on the wrong list.
* In ''TransformersGenerationOne'', there's Barricade who firmly believes there are only two kinds of mechanoids: Decepticons and losers.
* According to Peter Griffin of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'':
-->There are two kinds of people in this world, Chris. There are bullies and there are nerds. And there are hot Asian chicks. They'll do what you want. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You better believe it, buddy. They will do what you want because they know, they know what you want. Oh, oh, oh, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I won't hurt you. Me big American man. [[ButIDigress My point being]] that I'm a bully.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** Homer's "Only two types of guy wear Hawaiian shirts - gay guys and big fat party animals! And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me!" Made even funnier by Marge's pointing out that [[DoubleStandard that logic presumably makes it fine]] for ''him'' to wear them...
** Probably a Matt Groening reference.
** When Homer goes to college, he immediately separates the students into two groups: jocks and nerds. And then puts himself in the jock category.
-->'''Homer:''' Hey pal, did you get a load of the nerd?
-->'''"Jock":''' Pardon me?
* When Two-Face threatened to release a binary poison on Gotham in ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', he claimed there would be two kinds of people in Gotham: The dying and the dead.
* Parodied in "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000" of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' when Cartman is sent to juvie. When asked one reason why he shouldn't be beat up, Cartman says he's just like everyone else. The main guy says there are two types of kids: those who like WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} and those who don't. Despite getting the right answer about not liking Animaniacs, the situation isn't improved much as there are no friends in prison.
* In "Chuckie's Wonderful Life" on ''{{Rugrats}}'', BitchInSheepsClothing Angelica torments Chuckie under the guise of helping. No wonder he tried to run away after these enouraging words:
-->'''Angelica:''' Chuckie, there are two kinds of people in this world, people like me who make things better, and people like you, who just seem to get in the way.
-->'''Chuckie:''' You really mean it, Angelica?
-->'''Angelica:''' I'm sorry, Chuckie. We'd all just be better off without you.
* Parodied in ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' when [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd7yCl3cDMg "That Guy" from the 1980s becomes the CEO of Planet Express.]]
-->'''That Guy:''' Let's cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people - sheep and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
-->'''Zoidberg:''' Uh, excuse me, which is the one people like to hug?
-->'''That Guy:''' Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners. And they don't look back. 'Cause they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep. ''(Everyone hunches their shoulders except Bender, who physically retracts his head)'' I am proud to be the shepherd of this [[MixedMetaphor herd of sharks.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/WingCommanderAcademy'': Daimon Karnes, in "The Last One Standing", to Blair. The two kinds of people in the galaxy, according to him, are those who fly in order to get somewhere, and those who love to fly.
* One part of Disney's MarsAndBeyond was about what kind of people live on the planets in the solar system:
-->'''Narrator:''' There are two kinds of people on Venus: mild people and fierce people.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Jokes]]
* "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - GeorgeBernardShaw
* "There are two types of vessels - submarines and targets".
* "There are two kinds of aircraft - stealth aircraft and targets".
* "The world is divided into those who have read ''Literature/TheHobbit'' and ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'' and those who are going to read them." - The Sunday Times.
* "There is three kind of people in the world: those who can count, and the others."
* Slight modification: there's a tale floating around Parris Island (the US Marine Corps training facility) that during the height of the Vietnam War a Drill Instructor asked his squad of new recruits if they had any questions. One recruit asked the rather naive question of what the squads chances of going overseas were, with the [=DI=] giving the following answer.
-->"There are three types of Marines. Those who '''are''' overseas, those who '''have''' been overseas, and those who are '''going''' overseas. So I'd say your chances are pretty damn good."
* "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary, and those that don't."
** "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand ternary, those that don't, and those who mistook it for binary." And so on.
** A special one for base [[spoiler: 16]], "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand Hexadecimal and F the rest." Try and guess the two meanings of "F".
*** Also used with Gray Code.
*** "There are 11 types of people in this world: those that don't understand binary, those that kind of understand binary, and those that are 0001 0011 0011 0111[[note]][[LeetLingo 1337]][[/note]]."
** From the more self-aware nerds: "There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary, and those that get laid."
** DoubleSubversion by Asymmetric Publication's [[http://twitter.com/#!/asym/status/5028992404 twitter]] (the guys who made [[KingdomOfLoathing KoL]]): "There are 10 types of people. Those who think binary jokes are funny, those who don't and 8 types on a scale between the first two."
* In "Our Dumb World" (an atlas put out by the people at TheOnion), the entry on Canada divides Canadians into two groups: the polite ones, and the ones who are too polite to point out that they've been placed in the wrong group.
* There is a tendency for many to divide women into two kinds. This has various names. The MadonnaWhoreComplex is a technical term for something specific. A more common idea is either you are [[MyGirlIsNotASlut a good girl]] or a slut. Of course, some people [[MyGirlIsASlut think sluts are good]]. Men don't seem to be [[DoubleStandard judged in this fashion]].
** Men perhaps not, boys though will often be judged as either a bad boy/womaniser/player or effeminate/homosexual/wimpy. That said, it's mostly other men and boys who judge like that.
* There are two types of bikers in the world. Those who have come off their bikes, and those who are ''going'' to come off their bikes
* "There are two types of opinions in this world: Mine, and incorrect." - Internet communities
* There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who know [[Creators/RichardWagner Wagner]], those who know ''Film/ApocalypseNow'', and those who know [[WesternAnimation/WhatsOperaDoc Bugs Bunny]].
* There are two kinds of pilot in this world: Those who landed gears up, and those who will.
* There are two categories for people who watch Creators/UweBoll films: People who think Creators/UweBoll is an awful director, and Creators/UweBoll.
* There are two kinds of horseback riders in the world: those who have fallen off, and those who aren't serious about it.
** There are two kinds of horseback riders in the world: those who will fall off, and those who will fall off ''again.''
* There are two kinds of pedestrians in Rome: the quick and the dead.[[note]]Referencing the King James Bible, which uses "quick" to mean "alive".[[/note]]
* There are two types of people in this world. One is people who can infer based on what they're given.
* There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
* There are two types of gun-owners: [[{{Anvilicious}} Those who have had a gun go off by accident,]] [[SomeAnvilsNeedToBeDropped and those who WILL have a gun go off by accident.]]
* There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there is no such thing as infinite recursion, and those who say...
* There are two kinds of people in the world: those who grieve over the world rolling god knows where to...and those who are rolling the world there.
* Probably not the last word on the subject, but there are two types of people in the world: Those who divide people into two types and those that don't.
* Creators/BillyWest was sufficiently disgruntled after working with [[TheRenAndStimpyShow John Kricfalusi]] that his website once separated people into two categories: "''Ren And Stimpy'' fans" and "human beings".
* Here's one for cynics: There are two types of people in the world: [[ThisLoserIsYou people who suck]], and [[SubvertedTrope wait a minute, there is no second category]]-- ''[[HumansAreTheRealMonsters everybody]]'' [[HumansAreMorons sucks]].
[[/folder]]
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