In comedy, two normal items followed by a non sequitur or humorous third item. The classic example is "Can I get you anything? Cup of coffee? Doughnut? Toupee?" from ''Series/TheDickVanDykeShow'', to the point where a bumper running on Creator/NickAtNite specifically explained the structure of the joke.

Not to be confused with MyFriendsAndZoidberg, where the things listed are one or more categories, and the non sequitur is an insult to a listener who ostensibly fits one of the categories.

Informed by the RuleOfThree (two items set up a pattern, and then the third breaks it, subverting expectations and registering as funny). It helps that these things tend to be rapid-fire, so that viewers have just barely noticed the pattern before the punchline hits.

Subtrope of TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers. See also ArsonMurderAndJaywalking; TheThreeCertaintiesInLife; BreadEggsMilkSquick, and ARiddleWrappedInAMysteryInsideAnEnigma.

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!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Advertising]]
* An old Sega ad had a stewardess saying, "Coffee? Tea? SEGA!"
* A State Farm commercial has an alien mecha that seems to target one person.
-->There goes Duane's car... There goes Duane's house... And there goes Duane.\\
Man, [[{{Understatement}} that thing does not like]] [[ButtMonkey Duane]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Anime and Manga]]
* In an episode of ''Anime/ExcelSaga'', Il Palazzo is playing a dating sim, and the third option is always [[HGame "put it in".]]
* A very common stock joke phrase used in Japan (and in Japanese media), typically in a "man arriving home from work" context, goes like "Would you like a bath? Or dinner? [[LampshadedDoubleEntendre Or maybe]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis m.e.]]?"[[note]]"Ofuro ni shiyou? Gohan ni shiyou? Soretomo a~ta~shi~?"[[/note]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comics]]
* A ''ComicBook/JudgeDredd'' story where the title character is chasing after Count Dracula sees the infamous vampire run into a Hall of Horrors tourist museum, prompting the following exchange between Dredd and an employee at the exhibit.
--> '''Dredd:''' You! Close the Hall! Get everyone out! Dracula's in there!
--> '''Employee:''' 'Course he is! So's Frankenstein, the Wolfman, MargaretThatcher...
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Film]]
* ''Film/NationalLampoonsChristmasVacation'':
-->'''Clark''': Can I refill your egg nog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
* ''Film/WorkingGirl'': "Coffee? Tea? Me?"[[note]]The line is from a 1967 book. In fact, it's the title. (Well, ''Coffee, Tea, or Me?'')[[/note]]
* ''Film/TheNuttyProfessor'' (the Eddie Murphy one): "Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?"
* ''Film/MissCongeniality'': "By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?"
* In ''Series/TheAddamsFamily'', Morticia is clearing out a closet and finds three bags. In bag #1, "Uncle Knick-knack's Winter Wardrobe". In bag #2, "Uncle Knick-knack's Summer Wardrobe". In bag #3, "Uncle Knick-knack."
* In ''WesternAnimation/IceAge'', Manny to Sid: "Is there no-one else that you can annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous Reptiles?"
* In ''Film/HaroldAndKumarGoToWhiteCastle'': "Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, fuck my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything the good lord wouldn't do."
* Cogsworth's suggestions in ''Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast'' as to what The Beast could give Belle as a gift. "Well, there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep." The last of these was actually a ThrowItIn by Cogsworth's voice actor, David Ogden Stiers.
* ''Film/TheXFilesFightTheFuture'': When Scully got Mulder ''big time'', it was Mulder's turn to buy them something to drink:
-->'''Scully:''' You're buying.\\
'''Mulder:''' What? Coke, Pepsi, saline IV?\\
'''Scully:''' ''(smiling)'' Something sweet.
* In ''Film/TheAvengers'' Tony Stark asks Bruce Banner how he stays calm.
-->'''Tony:'''What's your secret? Relaxing jazz, bongo drums, huge bag of weed?
* Cotton [=McKnight=], the announcer from ''Film/DodgeballATrueUnderdogStory'' is rather prone to these.
-->'''Cotton:''' Tomorrow we separate the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
* ''Film/AdeleHasntHadHerDinnerYet'': Countess Thun's favourite reading? Dante, Goethe, and Nick Carter's stories.[[note]]Nick Carter is a GreatDetective FamedInStory who is a real investigator, but there are also pulp magazines and books about his real solved cases. [[/note]]
* ''Film/AFairlyOddMovieGrowUpTimmyTurner'': The live-action film has Timmy's parents attempting to offer gifts to Tootie when they try to marry their son off to her:
-->'''Mr. Turner''': We'll give you money!\\
'''Mrs. Turner''': Livestock!\\
'''Mr. Turner''': Raisins!
* ''Film/{{Dracula 2000}}''. Jeri Ryan is playing a news reporter.
-->''(to her cameraman)'' "Ready to go? Getting the crash? Getting the sunset? [[MsFanservice Getting the tits?]]"
* In the AfterTheEnd BMovie ''Battletruck'' (aka ''Warlords of the 21st Century'') the villains have just seized a village.
-->BigBad (to The Dragon): "Tell the men to Inventory and Requisition."
-->TheDragon (to his MookLieutenant): "Tell the men to Inventory and Requisition."
-->MookLieutenant (to everyone else): "LOOT! LOOT!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Literature]]
* ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1'':
-->"In those days... men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
* The 1978 essay "The Three Most Important Things in Life" by Creator/HarlanEllison; they're sex, violence, and labor relations.
* In her book, ''Literature/EatsShootsAndLeaves'', Lynne Truss remarks that, if people went about saying "Elizabeth'r Reign," instead of "Elizabeth Her Reign," there would be "...the regrettable result of making people sound a) a bit stupid, b) a bit drunk, or c) a bit from the West Country." (39)
* The book ''Literature/CoffeeTeaOrMe?'', a memoir of two airline stewardesses that was a best seller in 1969.
* The fifth chapter of ''DaveBarry's Complete Guide to Guys'' is titled "Guy Problems: The Pain. The Anguish. [[MaleRestroomEtiquette The Men's Room.]]"
* According to the protagonist of ''[[Literature/MonsterHunterInternational Monster Hunter Alpha]]'', badass Russians only have three emotions: revenge, depression and vodka.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'':
-->'''Captain Montgomery:''' Feds say he is a white male, 25 to 45 years old.
-->'''Castle:''' ''(to himself)'' Could be me.
-->'''Captain Montgomery:''' With a dysfunctional relationship with his mother.
-->'''Castle:''' Still me.
-->'''Captain Montgomery:''' He has a menial, unimportant job.
-->'''Beckett:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Definitely you.]]
-->'''Castle:''' Just for that, my next book is based on Esposito.
* In ''Series/{{Eureka}}'', Dr. Boyle lists off his grandmother's missing heirlooms after the bank is stolen. She had a gold wedding ring, a pearl necklace, [[OhCrap some antimatter...]]
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'' did a variation on this. When Rachel's pregnancy became a plot point at the beginning of season eight, Phoebe tries to figure out who the father is. When she invites the (wrong) man to the coffee house and it's revealed that, no, Tag is ''not'' the father, Phoebe is understandably embarrassed.
-->'''Phoebe''': Can I get anyone anything? Coffee? Tea? Poison? Just me? Okay.
* In ''Series/StargateUniverse'', when Volker needs a kidney transplant:
-->'''Park:''' Still a lot of other potential post-operative drawbacks. Infection, high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction...
--> ''(everyone except Volker snickers)''
--> '''Volker:''' Why is that funny?
--> ''(everyone else snickers again)''
* ''Franchise/StarTrek'' in its various incarnations has a tendency to do this when a character is comparing someone to great artists, scientists, explorers or whatever: they will list [[FamousFamousFictional two ones from our past and an unfamiliar third]], often sounding like that of an alien. Alternately, two historical people and one contemporary. (Granted, this person may well be considered historical by their standards.) An example is when listing blind poets and going with "Homer, Dante, [[StevieWonder Wonder]]."
* ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'': The trope is played for humor when Amanda Rogers, an intern on Enterprise, has superpowers and Q is sent to investigate.
-->'''Q:''' Very impressive the way you contained that explosion. What else have you done?
-->'''Amanda Rogers:''' I-I don't understand.
-->'''Q:''' Telekinesis? Teleportation? Spontaneous combustion of someone you don't like? ''(shoots a meaningful glance at Picard)''
* ''StarTrekVoyager''. Voyager's EMH is examining Dr Zimmerman.
-->'''EMH:''' To your knowledge have you been exposed to theta radiation?
-->'''Zimmerman:''' No.
-->'''EMH:''' Neutron flux?
-->'''Zimmerman:''' Never.
-->'''EMH:''' Have you ever had intimate relations with a Bolian?
* ''Series/GameOfThrones''. Jaime Lannister is shamelessly {{troll}}ing the [[NoGuyWantsAnAmazon huge female knight]] who's holding him captive. "Have you known many men? Women? Horses?"
* In ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen'', this is how others react to the news that Jake heard Judith and Herb having sex through his bedroom wall.
--> '''Alan''': [[OhCrap Oh, boy]]. \\
'''Charlie''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, God]]. \\
'''Berta''': [[PassThePopcorn Oh, Goodie]]!
* ''Series/{{Angel}}''. "The Girl in Question"
-->'''Spike:''' The Immortal. This is what he does. Every time he shows up, I either lose my girl, get beaten by an angry mob, or get [[UndeadTaxExemption thrown in prison for tax evasion]]. ''(off Angel's look)'' [[ItsALongStory Long story.]]
* ''Series/BurnNotice''[='s=] pilot features this line when Mike and Fiona are hashing out why they broke up the last time.
--> '''Michael:''' Fi, there's a few things I'm good at: tactical analysis, hand-to-hand combat, and I'm a decent cook.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Radio]]
* ''Radio/OurMissBrooks'' has one rapid-fire breakfast exchange with her landlady:
-->'''Miss Brooks''': Toast?
-->'''Mrs. Davis''': Toast.
-->'''Miss Brooks''': Cereal?
-->'''Mrs. Davis''': Cereal.
-->'''Miss Brooks''': Hat-coat-and-bicarbonate?
-->'''Mrs. Davis''': ...
* Done all the time by the Voiceover Guy for the introduction of the 1990's ''Series/TheXFiles'' spoof, ''The X Fools''.
-->''"They are two unusual agents investigating unusual mysteries: Haunted houses...UFO's...If a man climbs a mountain because it's there, why doesn't he do the washing up?"''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Theatre]]
* ''The Abduction of Figaro'' by Music/PDQBach:
-->'''Donna Donna''': You worm! You skunk! You yellow-bellied imperialist running-dog!
* ''Theatre/SundayInTheParkWithGeorge'', "Color And Light":
-->'''George''': More red... More blue... More beer...
* The song "I Believe" in ''Theatre/TheBookOfMormon'' is built around this structure, but interestingly the third item isn't even a joke, technically, but rather a real Mormon belief that just sounds really bizarre out of context.
-->"I believe that the Lord God created the universe. I believe that he sent his only son to die for my sins. And I believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America..."
* ''The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)'' explains that the Letters basically teach three things: "Love the Lord thy God"; "Love thy neighbor as thyself"; and "Women: you're responsible for the downfall of mankind, so shut up and obey your husbands."
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games]]
* The intro cinematic of ''Videogame/DeathSpank'' promises "a tale of [[BloodyHilarious blood]], and [[ILikeSwords steel]], and ''[[BaconAddiction bacon]]''!"
* ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}:''
-->'''KNOW YOUR ALLERGENS:''' Pollen. Animal dander. Plastics. Antimatter.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Animation]]
* ''WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}} Teh Movie Too'':
-->"TOMAYTOOZ!!!!" ''[whap]''\\
"[=K0RNN!!11!1!!!!=]" ''[whap]''\\
"[[RayGun LAYYZDR GNU!!!!!!!]]" ''[pewpewpew]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
** In [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0709.html #709]], Tsukiko complains about how Paladins forbid things left and right: "Don't walk on the grass, don't litter, don't rape the cycle of life with your unclean power".
** Also, [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html #20]]: "Fireball!" "Arrrgh!" "Lightning Bolt!" "Arrrgh!" "Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!" "Wait, what? --AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!"
* [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1483 This]] QuestionableContent:
--> '''Marigold''': Large Phillips screwdriver.
--> '''Momo''': Large Phillips screwdriver.
--> '''Marigold''': Thermal paste.
--> '''Momo''': Thermal paste.
--> '''Marigold''': Squirrel.
--> ...
--> '''Momo''': S-SQUIRELL!
* From ''Webcomic/CrimsonDark'', [[http://www.davidcsimon.com/crimsondark/index.php?view=comic&strip_id=42 Chapter 01: Page 22]]. Kari takes control of the ''Niobe's'' guns as the enemy closes in. Doubles as a PreMortemOneLiner.
--> '''Kari:''' Sorry, guys, but this is what happens when you destroy my ship, kill my friends, come after my rescuers, and ''fly level while in formation''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Original]]
* In ''WebAnimation/TheLazerCollection 3'' a gritty new detective comments that a detail of the case he was assigned is, quote, odd. This launches his senior officer into a mini-rant.
--> '''Senior Officer''': Odd? Odd is Benjamin Franklin playing tetherball with Van Helsing. Odd is a big-toed tadpole tainted by the tides of a dawn since past. Odd is a 40 year old senior officer who cries himself to sleep every night dreaming of a life on the road as a traveling naked contortionist, never returning home, never stopping or breaking his stride! ... Unless he saw a TGI Fridays. He [[SoundEffectBleep f**king]] loves that place.
--> '''Detective Randall''': * stare*
--> '''Senior Officer''': This isn't odd, Randall. This... is a mystery.
* When Tweeterman287 [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lxXpayJme0 reviewed a handheld game console]], he said (holding up each object in turn) "Rapid-fire size comparison so you can get an idea of the size of this in real life. X-Box 360 controller, PSP-3000, and a turtle made out of clay."
* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18611_the-10-most-important-things-they-didnt-teach-you-in-school.html According]] to Website/{{Cracked}}, success depends on three things: Talent, hard work, and [[LuckBasedMission randomly]] meeting the right people and not pissing them off.
* ''Machinima/FreemansMind'' has an episode where he yells to a vortigaunt alien:
--> '''Freeman''': You stay on your side of the line! Your side of the line is where everyone is dead. My side of the line is filled with love, hope, and sub-machine guns!
* ''Blog/WhatIf'': The first image of [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/51/ "Free Fall"]] labels the parts of Mount Thor with "East Slope", "Summit", and "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" (pointing at the sheer cliff).
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'':
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjQKNDtdtt8 Coffee? Tea? Monster?]] And yes, [[CrazyPrepared Dot did have a monster on hand for that purpose]], and [[SchmuckBait someone did ask for it.]]
** In "Sir Yaksalot": "Candy? Gum? Dynamite?"
* A Triple combined with a JuliusBeethovenDaVinci from ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
-->'''Calculon:''' I was all of history's great acting robots; Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, [[Series/TheXFiles David Duchovny]].
* ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddparents'' episode in which Mr. Crocker first appeared has this:
-->'''Crocker''': Can I offer you anything with that? Cream, sugar, magic?\\
'''Wanda''': What was that last one?\\
'''Crocker''': (unsure) Sugar?
* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDragonJakeLong'', when Spud and Trixie are looking over Lao Shi's store while he and Jake are away Fu Dog tells them not to touch anything, not to open any drawers, and if a big toothless guy named Morty shows up saying "Where's the money?" tell him Fu moved to Machu Picchu.
* Some episodes of ''RogerRamjet'' do this during the fight scenes where all that is flashed on screen are sound effect words like "Bam," "Pow" and "Ouch." In one episode the word "indigestion" turns up.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Real Life]]
* [[http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/skinny-jeans-adult-films-human-excrement-sell-like-hot-cakes-in-north-korea/story-e6frfku0-1225977652099 This article.]] "Skinny jeans, adult films, human excrement sell 'like hot cakes' in North Korea"
* During the 2008 Democratic primaries, when UsefulNotes/BarackObama, UsefulNotes/HillaryRodhamClinton, and John Edwards were the three candidates left in the race, Obama mentioned in one of the debates how historic a time it was, because it included the first African American final contender for the presidential campaign, the first woman, and John.
[[/folder]]

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