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->''"Honey! Come over here, sugarbuns! This machine just called me an asshole!"''
-->-- '''Creator/StephenKing''' in response to a sentient ATM, ''Film/MaximumOverdrive''

Imagine an object, say, an inanimate object. Any inanimate object. Got that? Good.

Now, imagine the characters in a show [[CompanionCube interacting with the object as if it were another character]]. That shouldn't be too hard to picture, should it? Good.

Now, imagine that object answers back. [[DeadpanSnarker And it is snarky as all hell]].

This can be any object, but it often takes the form of a Magic8Ball. Things that specifically are ArtificialIntelligence in canon do not count.

Related tropes include AnimateInanimateObject, CompanionCube, and TheManInTheMirrorTalksBack. See also TalkingApplianceSidekick.

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[[foldercontrol]]

!!Examples:

[[folder: Anime and Manga]]
* In the ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'' anime, the Pokedex is canonically just a database. However, Dexter (Ash's Pokedex) had shades of this in the first episode of the series, notably calling Ash "stupid."
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Fairy Tales]]
* In some variations of "Literature/SnowWhite", the Magic Mirror is a smart aleck backtalker.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Film]]
* The robotic arm in ''Film/IronMan'' manages to be quite snarky even without any dialogue.
* In ''Film/ScaryMovie2'', the protagonist is singing along to the radio when it suddenly speaks to her:
--> Radio: Will you shut the hell up and let me sing my song?
* In ''Film/TheLadykillers'', the portrait of the old lady's late husband changes his expression to react to the events around him.
* In ''Film/MaximumOverdrive'', machines such as ATMs and ticker displays, unable to actually hurt anybody, simply flash obscenities at everyone in sight.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Literature]]
* Bob in the book of ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' was never a real person. He's an air spirit of intellect which occupies the skull unless Harry explicitly gives him permission to come out and possess his cat or otherwise travel freely.
* In the Literature/{{Xanth}} series, Dor's magical talent is to make inanimate things talk, and sometimes they can be quite snarky.
* ''Literature/ChittyChittyBangBang'' is a snarky ''car''. In one scene, a button appears that says PUSH. Caractacus doesn't push it. It changes to say PUSH, IDIOT.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live Action TV]]
* Franchise/TheMuppets would often have ordinary-seeming objects such as vegetables suddenly sprout faces and start singing and cracking wise.
* Any object that has to interact with LiveActionTV/TheYoungOnes will have something to say about it.
* A Finnish TV sketch starring Pertti "Spede" Pasanen revolves around a man having an argument with a talking ATM that's implied to be connected to an OmniscientDatabase of some kind, based on the fact that it's ridiculously aware of his comings and goings, doesn't want to give him large amounts of money because it knows that he'll just waste it on booze and ultimately ends up blackmailing and guilttripping him by letting him know that it's aware of his illegimate son and it once paid an alimony check to him when the man forgot about it that month "just out of goodness of my heart". The man finally gets tired of this charade, tells the ATM that it can keep the money, blows raspberries at it and slams its flap closed before leaving and laughing at it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Newspaper Comics]]
* Oliver Wendell Jones' Banana 2000 computer from ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty''. Not intended to be an animate object, it frequently was sentient.
** Also in ''Bloom County'' and ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}'', frequent examples of subtrope TheManInTheMirrorTalksBack.
* On occasion ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' will use a talking scale, which will naturally make a fat joke.
* The ifruit computer in ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot''.
* While we won't get into a debate over whether Hobbes counts, ''ComicStrip/{{Calvin|AndHobbes}}''''s TV got in a few good ones, always quietly to itself:
-->'''Calvin''': What does this mean, "religion is the opiate of the masses"?
-->'''TV''': It means Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet.
** To say nothing of the Ouija Board he was messing around with in a later strip:
-->'''Calvin''': O Great Ouija Board, will I ever become president?\\
'''Hobbes''': It's moving!\\
'''Calvin''': "G...O...\\
'''Hobbes''': ''[finishing]'' "..D...F...O...R...B...I...D."\\
'''Calvin''': ''[kicking the board]'' When I want an editorial, I'll '''''ask''''' for it, you stupid board!
* A wall in ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' gets in on the fun.
-->'''Rat''': What are you doing pig?
-->'''Pig''': Just staring at our living room and thinking of all the moments in our lives that have happened here. If only these walls could talk...
-->'''Wall''': You've bored us to the depths of our studs. [[{{Beat}} *beat*]] I've waited twenty years to say that.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' solo adventure ''Knight of the Living Dead''. After becoming an undead creature, the protagonist has a weasel skull that acts as his companion, including snarky dialogue. It's implied that the conversations are his mind talking to itself.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games]]
* There are a whole lot of inanimate-object-based characters in ''VideoGame/BanjoKazooie'', but even the immobile ones who can only blink may still snark at you.
* Lilacor from ''VideoGame/BaldursGate 2'' is not this - intelligent weapons are far from unprecedented in ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' - but the Morrowind mod of the same name veers closer to this by it being unique for the ''Franchise/TheElderScrolls''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Webcomics]]
* The [[http://www.precociouscomic.com/archive/comic/2011/01/10 On Cue Ball]] from ''WebComic/{{Precocious}}'' certainly counts.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Original]]
* [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/top-5-with-lisa-foiles/3001-Top-5-Robots Lisa Foiles' Blender]].
* Andy the Bomb from the {{Machinima}} series ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''; not only is he/it snarky, he's also rude and crude, and he curses a lot.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': In a CutawayGag, Peter [[PersonAsVerb pulls a]] ''{{Castaway}}''.
--> '''Peter:''' What are we gonna do now?! Wilson! ''WILLLSOOON!''
--> '''"Wilson":''' My name is Voit, dumbass.
* The computer from ''WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog''. You twit. For extra measure, it speaks with a dry English accent.
* WesternAnimation/{{Spongebob|Squarepants}}'s Magic Conch Shell. At least to Squidward.
** Spongebob's swin trunks in "Ripped Pants"
--->'''Spongebob:''' We blew it, pants.\\
'''Pants:''' What do you mean "we"?
* In ''FanboyAndChumChum'', Fanboy's gloved hand comes to life in "Fanboy Stinks" due to Fanboy having gone too long without bathing and starts bossing him around.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic episode "Castle Mane-ia", Rarity voices her displeasure at the Castle of the Two Sisters at not being able to obtain its tapestries. The castle answers by dropping a piece of stone on her head.
[[/folder]]
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