[[quoteright:350:[[WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hankhug_5350.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350:''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Wow. I am so uncomfortable right now.]]'']]

->''"Love? What kind of man tells another man that he ''loves'' him?"''
-->-- '''Cotton Hill'''[[hottip:*:to ''his son'' Hank]], ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill''

In fiction, every guy usually follows the [[FictionalDocument Bro Code]]. One of the rules of the Bro Code is that guys do not hug each other. They also don't talk things out or get emotional, because that's what chicks do; either that, or it's gay. Sensitivity is never a priority for guys, no matter how they appear on the surface. Every guy is like this, even the most understanding guy will not want to seem sensitive, for fear of being called a pussy or "gay".

Also, don't expect teenage boys to be sensitive even with their own fathers. After a rare personal talk, no matter how short, always expect an awkward silence followed by a throat clearing, and a quick mumble of "I gotta go" or "that was a good talk, son". You can also expect lots of nervous hand shakes, but never a hug, [[ManHug at least not any longer than three seconds]].

This is a relatively recent trope, and of varying geographical distribution. Until around the eighteenth century, it was expected of "men of sensibility"[[labelnote:*]]until some time in the 19th century, "sensibility" meant something rather more like what we would call "sensitivity"[[/labelnote]] to show their emotions much more openly (as in Literature/TheSongOfRoland, in which the heroic French weep and faint away in groups of twenty thousand at a time). Even PDA between males was much more common as little as a hundred and fifty years ago, though generally more restrained in Anglophone countries (with their Puritan traditions) than elsewhere. (Nineteenth century English diarists record their horror at seeing male Frenchmen and Germans kissing each other on the mouth, though this gesture had been actually more common among all genders in England than elsewhere up to the time of the Civil Wars.)

This is a ''huge'' DoubleStandard, as it implies that men who show affection are weak, but it is normal for women to be affectionate.

As the title implies, examples of this trope are almost AlwaysMale, but inversions are welcome.
This also only usually applies to male bonding.

See also ManHug, AccidentalHug, MenDontCry, RatedMForManly, SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan, AllTheGoodMenAreGay, HoYay.



[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'': Zigzagged in spades. The main male characters, Guts and Griffith, can be described as ambitious, ruthless, {{Jerk Ass}}es, [[MenAreUncultured uncultured]] in the case of Guts, and a monster in the case of Griffith ([[HeWhoFightsMonsters and almost with Guts]]), but one thing for sure is that they're '''not''' afraid to talk about their feelings in very [[WarriorPoet poetic manners]], especially to one another ([[HoYay making certain implications arise]]). In the case of Guts, he can switch from being [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/210 a gruff jerk]] to being [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/211 very tender]] [[http://www.mangakong.com/manga/Berserk/037.047/212 and caring]].
* ''Manhwa/{{Chonchu}}'' plays with the concept. While the eponymous main character may appear as a your regular AxCrazy BloodKnight who lives to kill, deep down he ''really'' wants to be shown affection, especially from a woman who could soothe his damaged mind and calm his outbursts. And the only woman who can do that in the series so far is, quite ironically, his nemesis' fiancée.
* ''Manga/DeathNote'': Interestingly inverted, where [[VillainProtagonist Light Yagami]]'s hatred of ''female'' affection cements his status as AmbiguouslyGay. A SerialKiller BadassGay, but gay nonetheless.
* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'': Played straight with Ranma and his father, Genma. They never hug or tell each other that they care; they very rarely have personal talks. The thought of getting parental affection from his dad is so weird to Ranma that Genma once used an attack against him that consisted only of an overly affectionate hug, which totally freaked him out. Growing up with the Real Men Hate Affection mindset could explain why he [[HatesBeingTouched doesn't really like being touched]] and seems to only have love/hate relationships with the people he's closest to. (i.e. [[ThreeAmigos Ryoga, Akane,]] etc.)
* ''Manga/JojosBizarreAdventure'''s third protagonist, Jotaro Kujo falls firmly into this with his being TheStoic. He loves his family and friends, but that doesn't stop him from being incredibly averse to affection (giving or receiving). This gets deconstructed in Part 6, however. You know what happens when you keep being an emotional brick wall that doesn't smile, cry or hug your children, even if you love them? Said children grow up to resent you.

[[folder: Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/SonicTheComic'': WordOfGod is that Sonic has trouble expressing his feelings. Case in point: when Porker Lewis quit the Freedom Fighters, Sonic's anger at him for doing so was in fact because he desperately wanted him to stay, but simply [[EmotionallyTongueTied couldn't spit it out]].

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove'' has this at the very end. Kuzco and Pacha finally get the potion, embrace... and then separate, looking rather embarrassed because guys don't do this... see it [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjlVRWynkhM here]], at about 2:50.
* Discussed in ''WesternAnimation/IceAge3DawnOfTheDinosaurs'':
-->'''Manny''': Guys don't talk to guys about guy problems. We just punch each other on the shoulders.
-->'''Ellie''': That's stupid.
-->'''Manny''': To a girl. To a guy, that's like six months of therapy.
* In ''WesternAnimation/WereBackADinosaursStory'', Louie believes this at first, as he leaves home because his mother embarrasses him by slobbering kisses all over him, and refuses to kiss or show affection to Cecelia because he's been led to believe that showing any sentimentality is "unmanly."

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* Averted in ''Film/AcrossTheUniverse'', with Max and Jude. They only knew each other for about a year, yet they are doing the MeadowRun by the film's end.
* The two ''Film/BillAndTed'' movies both have moments where the boys respond to a display of male affection with "Fag!" In the first, it follows a ManHug between the boys when it turned out that Ted wasn't killed by an evil knight. In the second, the boys say it to their evil robot duplicates to try and stave off death; the robots deliver the line, then [[DisneyDeath throw them off]] KirksRock anyway.
* This happens again with Rob Schneider in ''Film/FiredUp'', except the one confessing his feelings calls his friend out on [[YouFailLogicForever failing logic forever]].
* In ''Film/GroundhogDay'', when Rita describes her ideal man:
-->'''Rita:''' He's kind, gentle, sensitive. He's not afraid to cry in front of me...\\
'''Phil:''' This is a ''man'' we're talking about, right?
** And then he later subverts it when [[ManlyTears weeping bitterly]] after [[spoiler:the homeless man continually dies after Phil's repeated attempts to save him.]]
* In ''Film/TheHotChick'', the eponymous hot chick's boyfriend describes his feelings for her to a friend, expecting a similar confession from the friend, who calls him [[YouFailLogicForever gay]].
-->Actually, pursuing a woman you have heterosexual feelings for... not gay.
* ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'' movies averted this - however, that can be chalked up to ValuesDissonance due to the when the original books were written. Though they still toned it down from the books, which to a modern reader looks like HoYay at times.
* Averted in ''Film/PainAndGain'', as one of the main promotional items of this movie is how tender and emotional these burly body-builders are around each other.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/AllInTheFamily'': Archie hates showing affection, and is disgusted by Mike and Gloria for doing so.
-->'''Gloria:''' You know, Daddy, that's the trouble with your whole generation! You're afraid to show affection openly.
-->'''Archie:''' We ain't afraid the show affection openly! We believe in showing it openly where it belongs, behind closed doors!
* ''Series/{{CSINY}}'': One season 1 ep has the group questioning someone at a 'cuddle party'. Danny makes it clear that he does not cuddle. (although it's quite likely that's changed by now, between Lindsay and Lucy lol)
* ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': Despite the two being brothers, they are too embarrassed to hug in public, so whenever they share a tender moment, they will give each others a "quick hug" which involves wrapping their arms around each other for a split second and then looking away. Averted in private, though.
-->'''HUG ME BRUTHA!'''
* ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond''
** Frank, though some episodes indicate it's largely an act.
** In one episode Ray seems ''incapable'' of understanding his wife's need for affection, almost convinced she does it [[ItsAllAboutMe just to annoy him.]] He even states that [[NoTrueScotsman no man]] enjoys cuddling, they only put up with it to [[AllMenArePerverts get sex.]]
* ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'': Anytime Carlton wants to hug Will, or even spend time talking to one another, Carlton is all for it, while Will puts on his Manly Face and bears it. Occasionally inverted. In the episode where Will gets shot he asks Carlton to give him a hug and Carlton is reluctant to do it. Possibly because[[spoiler: Carlton started carrying a gun and didn't want Will to see it.]]
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': Averted with Chandler and Joey who were very close, ''did'' talk about their feelings and often engaged in hugging. Chandler even lampshades this trope, joking "Do you think we do this too much?" but they rarely let it bother them.
* ''Series/HawaiiFive0'': Averted. Steve and Danny talk about feelings so much, hug enough and, in one instance, ''cuddle on a couch'', that they are well across the line into HoYay. Despite otherwise being really badass action guys.
* ''Series/HomeImprovement'':
** Addressed more than once, as it tackles a lot of "man stuff". In general, Al and Tim are a SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan, and Tim is occasionally put off by Al's shows of affection. For instance, after he sticks up for Al and keeps him from being fired:
-->'''Tim:''' Oohhh, you're getting that "I'm going to hug you" look; I ''don't'' like that, Al!
-->'''Al:''' Just a little one!
-->'''Tim:''' No, Al, I-- ''[Al [[TheGlomp glomps]] him]'' AAAA! You're fired!
-->'''Al:''' I am not, you big friend, you!
** Tim isn't afraid of showing some affection himself. One episode is driven by the fact that his son Brad is embarrassed by Tim telling him "I love you" [[AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents in front of his friends]].
*** This same episode Deconstructs the concept further... it turns out Brad is actually okay with affection, it's just the presentation that's problematic. The {{Aesop}} in this episode is about showing affection in a way people are comfortable with... for Brad, it involves his father spending time with him, as well as things like play-fighting and catch.
** In one episode Tim's boss and friend Mr. Binford dies. Both Al and Tim's wife Jill get on his case for not mourning openly, while Tim wonders why it's a big deal if he doesn't turn on the waterworks like they do. At the same time, Brad compliments him for taking the loss "like a real man" and not crying, which bothers Tim greatly:
--->'''Brad:''' You don't let stuff get to you.
--->'''Tim:''' Stuff gets to me!
--->'''Brad:''' Well, the great part about it is, no one can tell.
* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother''
** Averted with Marshall. He is very affectionate and emotional, and he tells his father everything, literally.
** Averted with Barney. He tells anyone who will listen that [[InsistentTerminology he is Ted's best friend]] (despite all the evidence that points to Marshall having that role), and he and Marshall at one point get into an argument over [[ItMakesSenseInContext which one of them Ted would be most likely to have a gay dream about.]]
* ''Series/ICarly'': The Father and son talk variant is inverted in an episode. Spencer and his younger sister Carly are both visibly uncomfortable as Spencer tries to give Carly TheTalk.
-->'''Carly:''' We are not having this conversation.\\
'''Spencer''' ''(clearly relieved)'': Thank God!
* ''Series/{{Merlin}}'':
** There is a scene where Merlin and Arthur have a FriendshipMoment, and Merlin moves to hug Arthur, feeling it was the logical follow-up. Arthur doesn't quite see it that way. After an awkward moment, Arthur rolls his eyes and leaves. Merlin just smiles.
-->'''Merlin:''' I thought you were going for a hug.\\
'''Arthur:''' Nooooo.
** {{Averted}} between Gwaine and Merlin. Gwaine has no problems hugging Merlin.
* ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'': Brothers Earl and Randy, despite being unusually close to each other, are embarrassed by the thought of saying "I love you" to each other.
* ''Series/TheOfficeUS'':
** Jim [[spoiler: post marriage to Pam]] gets mocked by Dwight for openly showing affection.
** Angela is the rare female example, hating affection as much as Dwight, making them perfect for each other.
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': One subplot of the episode "My Half Acre" had Dr. Cox refusing to kiss his young son Jack and Jack's mother Jordan complaining about it. Perry confides to Carla that he worries about not being able to be an affectionate enough parent, though he does kiss Jack at the end of the episode. [[FridgeBrilliance Considering]] the relationship Perry had with his own father, a [[DomesticAbuser violent and abusive]] {{Alcoholic| Parent}}, it makes sense.
* ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': Kirk and Spock's complete aversion of this trope led to the creation of the first {{Slash Fic}}s. Particularly interesting since Vulcans dislike showing emotion in general, so Spock's obvious affection for Kirk effectively breaks two sets of social rules. That said, Spock does try to exhibit some propriety on occasion. For example, after having saved Kirk's life by taking control of a Klingon warship, Kirk goes in for the ManHug...
--> '''Spock''': Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons.
* ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'': Dean Winchester often acts like this, rather to Sam's annoyance. Mostly because Sam is more straightforward about his emotions, whereas Dean is notorious for wallowing in {{Mangst}} and then denying it.
* ''Series/That70sShow'': Red and Hyde both hate to express any kind of affection. Hyde actually denies even having feelings.
* In an episode of ''{{Series/Frasier}}'', the title character expresses his frustration that "we've become a society of huggers." This comes a bit out of left field, as in other episodes he doesn't show the same reluctance to show affection, and has complained about his father's inability to say "I love you" to him. Perhaps it was because the man in this case is a coworker he barely knows.

* Inverted in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice''; Eldest Whistler explains to Jerin that she doesn't blame him for being too trusting, as that's how boys are brought up - she notes that his little brother would allow himself to be hugged by a stranger, while the girls would check for weapons, first. Due to male GenderRarityValue, boys are sheltered and cuddled and spoiled, which makes them much more prone to displays of affection than the girls (who are brought up to be able to defend themselves and their brothers).
* In ''Literature/HarryPotter'', Ron's usual display of affection was clapping Harry on the back. In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince'' he's so thrilled to see Harry he practically assaults him, much to Hermione's chagrin.
** They do hug in ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows Deathly Hallows]],'' however, after some intense issues are worked out (including an ImaginaryLoveTriangle with Hermione). J.K. Rowling noted that her American editor (or someone like that) wanted them to hug during a similar but less intense scene in the [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire fourth book]], but according to J.K. [[StiffUpperLip British men]] [[TruthInTelevision do not show affection that easily]].
* In ''Literature/{{Hurog}}'', Ward has an emotional scene with his brother Tosten, and lampshades this trope by pointing out that, thanks to his father (who was an affection-hating real man) he still isn't able to properly show affection to his brother. Averted in other parts of the series, he's very affectionate towards his sister, Ciarra, and occasionally shows his caring side when Oreg is having one of his PTSD-moments.
* A repeated gag in the works of Creator/DaveBarry. Just as men cannot comprehend why women would buy entirely useless gifts for people they met maybe once, so women will never understand that men do not need to talk at length about their feelings even among friends ([[WomenAreWiser since they function at a more basic level]]).

* Played with by "A Father's Love", sung by Bucky Covington and High Valley ([[CoveredUp not sure which is the original and which is the cover]]). The song talks about the singer's dad and how he wasn't all that affectionate, but helped out with home maintenance, checking the oil and filling the tires his car, and so on. The singer admits that "I didn't see it then, but I see it now: he was saying 'I love you' the only way he knew how." It's treated just as valid as physical affection, just more subtle. (Also averted by the singer himself, by the line "I knew he'd stiffen up, but I hugged him anyway.")

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In a ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' strip when Jon visits his family:
-->'''Jon's father:''' Good to see you again, son. You're looking well.
-->'''Jon:''' Thanks... You too, dad.
-->'''Jon's father:''' Well, got chores to do.
-->'''Jon:''' Better go unpack.
-->'''Garfield:''' A real father-son moment.

* In ''Theatre/{{Pippin}}'' when the title character returns home from the university of Padua, he and his father almost hug, but wind up shaking hands. Pippin then attempts to talk to him about his feelings of emptiness and quest to find something meaningful, but his father fobs him off with cliches and 'well I've got to go.' By the way, his father is Charlemagne. Yes, ''that'' one.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyV'', Bartz, Galuf, and [[SweetPollyOliver Faris]] might not ''hate'' affection, but they are absolutely terrible at expressing it to each other, whereas don't have issues being emotional with Lenna and Krile. Case in point, Galuf asks Bartz [[spoiler:why he, Lenna and Faris leave their homeworld without knowing if they can ever return, in order to help Galuf protect his own planet]]. The reply?
-->'''Bartz:''' ...No particular reason.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX'': Jecht, Tidus' [[AbusiveParents emotionally abusive father]], truly ''did'' love his son, but was merely bad at showing it. This forms a major part of Tidus' character arc. At one point, the party can find a [[CaptainsLog sphere]] Jecht left behind in which he tries to give a sentimental message to Tidus, but ultimately gives up:
-->'''Jecht''': Remember, you're my son. And... well, uh... never mind. I'm no good at these things.

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* PlayedForLaughs in ''Webcomic/BusterWildeWeerwolf'' when [[http://www.furnation.com/BusterWilde/comics/buster022.gif Hector is slightly disgusted]] by Buster and Gordon's over-the-top reconcilation after Gordon slapped Buster.
* Dave and Dirk Strider in ''WebComic/{{Homestuck}}'' both attempt to maintain their "cool stoic badass" personas by avoiding any open demonstrations of affection. When Dave finally gives in to his emotions and hugs Dirk, he apologizes repeatedly and calls it "fucked up" (Dirk agrees that it's fucked up, but hugs him back anyway).
* In ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}'',
** [[http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2054 In the pimp story]], this produces AllergicToLove.
** when Squigley confesses to a Trike Feminist about his attempt to quit porn, [[http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=4299 he realizes he's getting all emotionally vulnerable and purposefully retreats.]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Achilles and Guardsman of the ''Roleplay/GlobalGuardiansPBEMUniverse'' love each other like brothers. They support each other and are there for each other when it's needed. But they do this all without ever actually demonstrating their feelings for each other in any way, shape or form that isn't "100% manly".
* Yahtzee from ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' does this often.
* This was mockingly invoked by WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic and [[WebVideo/FamiliarFaces CR]] when they examined [[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries Baby Doll]], and see her VillainousBSOD at the end of the episode, bringing them both to the verge of tears... before brushing it off as [[BlatantLies making them want to lift weights]].

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': In "Bart the Genius", Bart is shocked when Homer kisses him.
-->'''Bart''': You kissed me.
-->'''Homer''': Now, now, there's nothing wrong with a father kissing his son. I think.
** In the "Homer's Phobia", Homer, fearing Bart was gay, took him out to try and spend time with him. [[HilarityEnsues It does not go well.]]
-->''*Homer places his arm on Bart's shoulder*''
-->'''Homer's Brain''': ''You're leaving the arm there too long. You want to make it worse?'' (Abruptly removes it)
-->'''Homer's Brain''': ''No, no! He'll know you're on to him! Quick! Shake his hand!''
-->'''Homer''': (shaking his hand) Just remember son, whatever happens, I'll always I love you.
-->'''Homer's Brain''': ''(fearfully) As? As?''
-->'''Homer''': As a father! Uh, a father! Regular father! *sighs with relief*
* Most of ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' is like this, with Hank being mortified whenever Bobby doesn't follow this trope.
** Hank is an extreme version of this, unwilling to show any more affection than a handshake to his own mother. It's implied that this is due to emotional abuse from his father. Ironically, his greatest fear is that his father will die without ever telling him that he loved him. [[spoiler:Which was exactly what happened, so Peggy (who dared Cotton to just die already with reverse psychology) made up some nice last words for him to have said about Hank while nobody else was around]].
* In ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated'', a large portion of Freddy's ObliviousToLove status stems from his mistaken belief in this trope and like Hank above, was due to his father, Mayor Jones, [[spoiler: though the Mayor is not really Fred's father, he still raised him as such.]] [[CharacterDevelopment He gets over it,]] though his obliviousness continues to shine in other respects.
* Averted in ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' where the main characters often share hugs and other shows of affections. The ones that are arguably most poignant are Zuko and his [[ParentalSubstitute Uncle Iroh]]; when the two of them embrace in the finale, its widely considered a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming.
** Sokka, with his obsession with being "manly", starts out as this. He loosens up by Book 2.
** In the SequelSeries ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'', this is slightly rarer due to the absence of non-adult males, but Mako and Bolin have shown at times an affectionate streak (most notably when [[spoiler:Mako and Korra broke up for good]]), and Bolin is a very sensitive and overall touchy-feely person who isn't portrayed as malicious or unmanly.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' episode [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E24AnIndirectKiss ''An Indirect Kiss'']], [[TheGadfly Amethyst]] tries to invoke this on Steven, apparently forgetting that this is ''[[AllLovingHero Steven]]''
-->'''Amethyst''': Steven, why are you getting so worked up? Why, do you ''care'' about me or something?\\
'''Steven:''' (teary-eyed) ''[[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Yes!]]''

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* Comedian Bill Burr has a theory that men have a lower average life expectancy than women because of all the stress that builds up from their asshole "[=DudeBro=]" friends calling them "fag" any time they show any signs of caring, kindness or sensitivity.
** He might be on to something. At least one study said that women might live longer because they process stress and emotion better. If a woman feels bad, she'll have a good cry or talk it out with her friends, whereas a man tends to bottle it up. All that stress wears on you over time.
** The higher suicide rate in men is probably a related issue- even the fact that men are more likely to ignore symptoms of illness for too long. This is also thought to be the reason why men are more likely to become alcoholics, and women more likely to get depression.
* Another comedian: "The only time a man is allowed to show any emotion is when he is sitting at his dying father's bedside. Only then is he allowed to say 'I love you" and allow a SingleTear (just one!) to fall. But what if he pulls through? I think I'd actually have to kill him 'cause neither of us would be able to stand the embarrassment."