->'''Aya:''' By the way, you're also a living human, aren't you? Why do you work in the Netherworld?\\
'''Youmu:''' Me? I've never thought of that. But I'm a dead human, too, so... hmm.\\
--''[[VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red]]''

StarfishAliens and {{Eldritch Abomination}}s are plenty strange, but an Oxymoronic Being's mere existence is self-contradictory. To make one, take any two mutually exclusive characteristics; anything that somehow has both is an Oxymoronic Being.

And no, "[[AcceptableTargets honest politician]]" doesn't count.
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!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* Starburst had been running advertisements with people like this for a while; for example, an albino lifeguard. One of them managed to be ''[[UnfortunateImplications stunningly]]'' [[UnfortunateImplications offensive]] by having the "contradictory" traits being Korean ancestry and Scottish nationality. It basically amounted to a painful national stereotype going off on a racist tirade against a kid. Strangely, this is one of the most commonly-run of the series of ads.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime]]
* In ''{{Naruto}}'', Kisame's personal amount of [[{{Mana}} chakra]] is great enough to draw comparisons to the [[EnergyBeings Tailed Beasts]], and thus he has been given the oxymoronic nickname "The Tailed Beast Without a Tail[[note]]This sounds slightly less stupid in Japanese, as there the words for "tail" and "tailed (beast)" are much more different.[[/note]]". To make this even more hilarious, in spite of his nickname [[spoiler:when he fuses with Samehada he ''does'' have a tail(fin), though it's possible that those don't "count" as tails in Japanese.]]
* Taken to hilarious extremes with minor ''Manga/OnePiece'' character Seńor Pink; he's a disgusting slob who somehow has women fawning over him, acts like he doesn't care for his crew mates when his actions and words say otherwise, and has the power of the Swim-Swim Fruit, which lets him swim through solid objects, but the standard Devil Fruit weakness is SuperDrowningSkills.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* [[WordOfGod Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird]] have claimed that they at first came up with the idea of the ''Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' because they wanted to create an absurd satire and thought that "turtle" and "ninja" were pretty oxymoronic. (A turtle is a slow, clumsy creature, not one that suggests a martial artist that relies on stealth.) To their surprise, the concept turned out far better received than they thought it would.
* ComicBook/{{Loki}} is technically a small giant, since he's the son of the Frost Giants' king and is about the same size as an average Asgardian.
* ''Technically'' speaking {{Daredevil}}'s super senses allow him to see as well or better as a person with regular vision. So he's a blind superhero without actually being completely blind.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* ''ThePhantomTollbooth'':
** Milo meets an average-looking man who claims to be both "the smallest giant in the world" and "the tallest midget in the world". He's also the thinnest fat man and the fattest skinny guy.
** There's also Canby, warden of the Island of Conclusions ([[{{Pun}} you get there by jumping]]), who among other things is smart as can be and stupid as can be.
** The triple demons of Compromise are described as "one fat, one thin, and a third exactly like the other two." (The illustrations show it as fat in part of its body and skinny in another part.)
* Due to his being adopted, Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' is a dwarf who stands at 6 feet 3 inches in his socks. The ''other'' dwarfs accept him as one of them because he is devoutly observant of their traditions and even tries to teach his girlfriend to speak Dwarfish. He's just a ''tall'' dwarf.
** Also, Bloody Stupid Johnson can create circles where "the pi is exactly 3". Pi (the ratio of diameter to circumference) is, by definition, ''always'' 3.14159265358979323846264338 and a bit.
*** The only way to make this possible is to imagine a circle being drawn in a non-euclidean 2D world.
** There are also occasional mentions in the Discworld of mystics who can see "four-sided triangles" when they meditate.
* There's one story in an obscure German's childrens book about the inventor Scheibenkork who invented among other things the sphere with five vertices.
* In ''Literature/WitchWeek'', a novel by Creator/DianaWynneJones, [[{{Jerkass}} Simon]] unintentionally turns himself into one while under a "Simon Says" spell that [[LiteralGenie makes everything he says true]]. He first claims that he doesn't know anything, then mindlessly repeats a teacher who says he's not that much of a fool, resulting in him being both stupid and clever at the same time.
* In ''Literature/TheLostYearsOfMerlin'', Shem in the first book is a tiny person (even shorter than child Merlin) who claims he is a giant. This is confirmed when [[spoiler:Shem sacrifices himself to destroy the Cauldron of Death to save Merlin. He immediately comes back to life and starts getting bigger and bigger...]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Myths and Legends]]
* The mythical hippogriff is half-horse, half-griffin. However, since griffins hate horses and attack them on sight, it's hard to imagine how this could happen. That was the point, originally. The Roman poet Virgil referred to the birth of hippogriffs alongside several other metaphors for things that couldn't happen in real life, in a "the lion shall lie down with the lamb" sort of sense.
* TheUndead, in all of their various forms. Despite the fact that they are dead and shouldn't be able to do anything but rot in their graves, they somehow can still interact with the living. This contradictory nature is also what makes them such formidable foes. Not even death itself could stop them. What makes you think the heroes can?
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Rhetoric]]
* The common ParodyReligion known as the "Invisible Pink Unicorn": If it's always invisible, how do you know it's pink?
** It's a combination of reason and faith: we know that she is invisible because we can't see her, but we believe that she is pink.
* Also the Invisible RedStringOfFate, which is one of the things the Invisible Pink Unicorn references.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* DimitriMartin posits the (non)existence of the Paradoxataur which is a mythical creature that exists if you don't believe in it, but doesn't exist if you ''do.'' The speculative forms of the Paradoxataur are supposedly Oxymoronic as well, including a woman who is smart, beautiful, single, not crazy, and totally into you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* The ''{{Spelljammer}}'' setting in ''DungeonsAndDragons'' has enormous hamsters living between the worlds, appropriately known as giant space hamsters. There's also a lesser-known tiny variety, the miniature giant space hamster, which for most intents and purposes is merely a hamster. (They're best known for appearing in ''BaldursGate'', in which one character has one as a pet. Well, maybe. He's not exactly ''sane'' enough to be a reliable source on that.)
** Another example is the Xeg-Yi, mentioned in the ''{{Planescape}}'' campaign and a few other sources. It is native to the Negative Energy Plane, which is a plane of, well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin negative energy]], something associated with death. Most inhabitants of the plane are undead, but the Xeg-Yi is a living creature. A living creature that is composed of negative energy. Even one sourcebook where its official stats are details mentions how contradictory its existence sounds. (In fact, its counterpart, the Xag-Ya, which is native to the Positive Material Plane, doesn't make much sense either. A living being shouldn't be able to have much individuality in a place that is life incarnate.)
* ''TabletopGame/YuGiOh'' gives us the [[http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Anteatereatingant Anteatereatingant]].[[note]]That's supposed to be parsed as "Anteater-eating Ant", [[NoPunctuationPeriod if you were confused]].[[/note]]
** ...which is translated hilariously (or stupidly) wrong in German, where it's now called "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Anteating Anteater]]".
* In ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'', the [[AbsentMindedProfessor Izzet League's]] Weirds combine two opposing elements into a single creature. [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=292731 They also make great pets]]!
* In ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'', the Yozi Oramus is the embodiment of paradox. Cytherea is the first of the Primordials to awaken, yet when she did, Oramus basically said, "What took you so long? I thought you'd never wake up."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Toys]]
* Action Masters are {{Transformers}} who are unable to transform after consuming Nucleon. Then there are Action Master Elites Who can still transform. Making them Transformers that can't transform ''which can transform.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* The Horseless Headless Horsemann in ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''. (While he doesn't have horse, he technically has a head.)
* Youmu Konpaku, from the ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}'' games. She is [[HalfHumanHybrid half-human]] and half-ghost (which as a form of [[TheUndead undead]] are themselves oxymoronic), with her ghost half existing as a formless white cloud separate from her physical body. How it's possible to be half-human and half-ghost, even in the bizarre world of Gensokyou where [[MemeticMutation you can't let yourself be held back by common sense]], is never explained. Is she half-dead, or is she the product of a human and a ghost (somehow) mating?
** Neither. [[VoodooShark Apparently it's genetic]], as Youki Konpaku is the the same way.
** Also from ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}'', Koishi Komeiji, [[BonusBoss extra stage boss]] of ''Subterranean Animism''. Like her sister, she is a Satori, a youkai species that [[PowerIncontinence constantly]] [[{{Telepathy}} reads the minds]] [[ForgotAboutTheMindReader of everyone]] [[AMindIsATerribleThingToRead around them]]. Koishi solved this problem by permanently closing her mind-reading [[ExtraEyes third eye]] (located on her [[EyesDoNotBelongThere external heart]]) which had the unforseen side-effect of [[EmptyShell sealing off her heart and mind]], leaving her to operate solely via her subconscious. The result is a mind-reader that cannot read minds; not even her own. In ''Symposium of Post-Mysticism'', Buddhist monk Byakuren Hijiri describes her state as being close to Enlightenment and expresses a strong desire to meet her and recruit her to her temple.
** Hata no Kokoro's [[BossSubtitles title]] is "[[MoodSwinger The Expressive]] [[EmotionlessGirl Poker]] [[FrozenFace Face]]". She does this by wearing a set of masks representing emotions (which, incidentally, are all her, since she is a tsukumogami). [[{{Foil}} This is possibly the reason why Koishi was made a playable character in the game that introduced her]].
* VideoGame/DwarfFortress features Forgotten Beasts, creatures created by primordial chaos. In-game, they're created by randomly mixing any animals, materials, limbs, and strange attacks. Sometimes this can result in paradoxial creatures, the most famous being the "Six-Legged quadruped."
* The backstory of ''WorldOfWarcraft'' reveals that [[spoiler:''humans'']] are oxymoronic beings since they are heavily implied to be corrupted Vrykul (Viking like beings who are an offshoot of giants). In other words [[spoiler:humans are miniature giants.]]
* ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'' features goliaths, a kind of GiantMook, and midget enemies, which is ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. You will eventually encounter midget goliaths. And, depending on what you do, you could well get your ass handed to you by a Giant Midget of Death.
* The ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' series have a few:
** Ferroseed and Ferrothorn are [[GreenThumb Grass]]/[[ExtraOreDinary Steel]] types. [[ElementalRivalry Plants are organic while metal armour generally isn't]], especially among plants.
** Durant has a bug/steel typing. This presents the same problem as Ferrothorn, but you could probably hand wave it as exoskeleton. What you can't ignore however, is that it evolved its steel shell to protect itself from its long-time rival [[PlayingWithFire Heatmor]]. Both bug and steel types are weak to fire.
** Mawile and Klefki are Steel/[[OurFairiesAreDifferent Fairy]] types. Fairy types are [[ColdIron weak to steel]], but these two are ''made'' of it.
** The Dark-Type has long been thought to be the polar opposite of the Psychic-Type, being immune to Psychic attacks with Dark attacks being Super Effective against Psychic Pokémon. Behold [[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Inkay_(Pok%C3%A9mon) Inkay]] (and it's evolved form, [[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Malamar_(Pok%C3%A9mon) Malamar]]), the first Psychic/Dark hybrid, introduced in ''[[VideoGame/PokemonXAndY X and Y]]''. (Of course, this little guy seems to be all about opposites, called the Revolving Pokémon, with an ability called Contrary (moves that lower its stats increase it instead, and vice versa), and attacks with names like Topsy-Turvy and Switcheroo. The craziest part? [[spoiler:In order for it to evolve when it reaches the right level, you have to hold the Nintendo 3DS upside-down.]]
** Volcanion, one of the few event-legendaries to not have been officially revealed, is rumored to be a fire-water type.
** Stunfisk is also this, being Electric/Ground.
** There is a glitch pokémon referred to in the community as [[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Invisible_shiny_bulbasaur "Invisible Shiny Bulbasaur"]]. Similar to the Religion examples above, how can you know that it's shiny if it's invisible? (the answer is that the space where it ought to be sparkles when it first appears!)
** Gligar, Gliscor and both formes of Landorus are Ground/Flying.
** Mega Altaria is Dragon/Fairy. Dragon are considered to be the opposite of each other, with Fairy being super effective against Dragon and immune to it.
* In ''Videogame/DiscworldII'', a poster outside the cinema advertises ''[[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever Attack of the 50-Foot Dwarf]]''.
* One type of armor in ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'' is [[http://fallout.gamepedia.com/NCR_salvaged_power_armor NCR salvaged power armor.]] The servo-motors that make it easier to move are gone, thus making it PoweredArmor that isn't powered by anything. Attacks that normally do extra damage to power armor don't do so against salvaged power armor and it doesn't require Power Armor Training to use, but it doesn't boost your strength either.
* After adjectives were introduced to ''VideoGame/{{Scribblenauts}}, you can summon them, including "giant dwarf" and "small giant." Or "[[DidWeJustHaveTeaWithCthulhu friendly Cthulhu.]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Visual Novels]]
* ''VisualNovel/AkaiIto'': [[TheLoad Hatou Kei]] [[spoiler:in one of the MultipleEndings, she become a sort-of vampire due to being given EmergencyTransformation by Sakuya to save her after being gutted in the stomach by the BigBad Nushi. Keep in mind that Kei's blood has the SupernaturallyDeliciousAndNutritious attribute, making her a vampire with her own being as blood source. Even she doesn't know ''what'' she is, only that she's no longer human. Then she TookALevelInBadass and start un-living as DemonSlayer, making her a once-prey that is now hunting her predators]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Whew!]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* ''SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'': Handi-man is a quadraplegic superhero with the power to move like an able-bodied person.
* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''. [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0355.html This exchange:]]
-->'''Police Chief:''' So, the giant bear is...\\
'''Julia:''' Evil.\\
'''Police Chief:''' And the giant dwarf is...\\
'''Julia:''' An oxymoron.
* One guy seen in ''WebComic/LeagueOfSuperRedundantHeroes'' has a wide range of extremely potent powers, which he only loses in proximity to space rocks. Earth is a giant space rock.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* According to ChuckNorrisFacts, Chuck Norris holds every record in the Guinness Book of world Records, which means, among other things, he's a planet, a pizza, a spider, and a distance.
* ''WebVideo/JourneyQuest'' features Carrow, {{the Undead}} Cleric... of an undead-hating god. (Not his fault, it was a botched resurrection spell.) Notably, he has to be careful when using his TurnUndead power, lest he'd turn himself....
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'':
** The spider-fly, [[TooDumbToLive which commonly gets caught in its own web.]] Noted in the [[DVDCommentary creator commentary]] as "the most paradoxical animal in the world of Avatar."
** There is also the two-headed rat viper. This is used by the Air Benders as an analogy of consequences of anger: "Revenge is like a Two-Headed Rat Viper; while you watch your enemy go down, you are poisoned yourself."
** When Sokka gives Toph a piece of the meteorite [[ThunderboltIron he used to make his sword]] he calls it "space earth", prompting Katara to question how there could be such a thing.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
** Man-eating anteaters.
** Leela mentions returning from a vacation at [[SpaceX Space Earth]] once.
** Subverted by [[GeneralFailure Zapp's]] "manned unmanned drones". They're remote-controlled drones [[ComicallyMissingThePoint that have soldiers on them anyway "just for show"]].
* ''RobotChicken'' had a spoof of AttackOfThe50FootWhatever movies called ''Attack of the Giant Midget''. Said giant midget was about 6'5"... which is pretty tall, for a midget.
* ''SheepInTheBigCity'' has military characters with {{Punny Name}}s that are usually oxymorons: General Specific, Private Public, Major Minor (who is a baby) and Corporal Ethereal (a hippy).
* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' has the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka.
* One villain from ''SushiPack'', Paradoxter, enjoys things that are perfect paradoxes, such as sweet-and-sour sauce. His henchmen are jumbo shrimp (as in, man-sized), and in one episode he created animixes by [[MixAndMatchCritters splicing together two different animals]], such as a sheep and wolf. One of his henchshrimp points out that he should call himself Oxymoron, since he's a Man-Ox, but Paradoxter does not appreciate this input.
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheLifeAndTimesOfJuniperLee'' June met a giant ("You know, a giant," he said, "as in fee, fi, foe, fum?") who was only three feet tall. June got a laugh out of it at first, but it [[DudeNotFunny really wasn't funny]] to the poor guy; his condition had caused him to be the subject of ridicule all his life by the other giants. (June tried to make a growing potion for him, but suffice to say, things went a little haywire.)
* ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague Unlimited'' gives us the episode "Dark Heart," which features ComicBook/TheAtom versus a giant [[{{Nanomachines}} nanomachine]].
--> '''Atom:''' He's bigger than my car now, Katie. Personally, I blame you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Referenced by ''TheyMightBeGiants'' - when an interviewer called them 'the biggest indie act in the world', they said it was like being 'the world's tallest midget'.
* A quantum computer could be considered oxymoronic: quantum phenomena can only occur when a subatomic particle is not observed, however [[CaptainObvious not only is a computer not a subatomic particle]], its programs must be observed, as the whole purpose of a computer is to ''[[ShapedLikeItself compute]]'' things. This is one reason why quantum computers have proved so difficult to design.
* [[http://allisoncscientist5.blogspot.com/2008/02/no-eyed-big-eyed-spider-adelocosa-anops.html The No-Eyed Big-Eyed Spider]]. [[note]]So named because it's an eyeless species of the Big-Eyed Spider family.[[/note]]
* Similar to the No-Eyed Big-Eyed Spider, a contradictory name can happen when you have to describe an animal whose common name has a color in it but which is actually a different color because of a mutation. For example, if you saw the description "red green iguana" you'd stop and wonder what color it really is, or if perhaps it's both. It's predominantly red, but it's still a Green Iguana, i.e. ''Iguana iguana''.
[[/folder]]

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