[[quoteright:200:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/NobodyPoops_7809.jpg]]

->''Well, I feel that films -- the film industry -- has increasingly failed to reflect reality as people live it. No-one goes for a piss in ''Franchise/StarWars'', you can watch the whole of ''Film/{{Ghostbusters}}'' and no-one brushes their teeth, and in ''Film/LostInTranslation'', [[TakeThat nothing happens. At all]].''
-->--''ThatMitchellAndWebbLook''

->''And yet--And, yet... not ''one'' toilet on the entire ''[[Franchise/StarTrek Enterprise]]''... Not one! Do these people not poop?''
-->--Music/{{Voltaire}} (no, not [[Creator/FrancoisMarieArouet that]] one), ''Poopin' on the'' Enterprise

You know that children's book, ''Everyone Poops''? Well, they lied. Not everyone does.

Sure, real people and animals in everyday life might, but you're not likely to see a fictional character going to the bathroom. This would detract from the plotline, and besides, nobody really wants to see that sort of thing. [[ConservationOfDetail If something's not crucial to the story, why include it?]]

(Sometimes, of course, it ''is'' crucial to the story, and this trope is averted. Maybe there's a PottyEmergency; maybe someone [[BathroomBreakout uses a bathroom break to escape custody]]; maybe someone suffers an UndignifiedDeath by being [[CampingACrapper killed on the toilet]] -- or worse, [[TheCanKickedHim killed ]]''[[TheCanKickedHim with ]]''[[TheCanKickedHim a toilet]]; or maybe there's just some good old-fashioned ToiletHumour.) If a video game averts this trope, it's probably just so it can hide GoodiesInTheToilets.

This trope is sometimes averted without showing anything by simply having a character [[CallingYourBathroomBreaks excusing themselves for a moment.]]

The page lists [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] of the phenomenon; straight examples and aversions are too many to count.

Even the dead aren't immune to this trope, as evidenced in the subtrope NoDeadBodyPoops.
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!!Lampshades:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghItAFUMQgI "I got the bathroom bowl blues!"]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* In Manga/{{Naruto}}, it is explicitly stated that [[spoiler: White Zetsu]], being part-plant clone ''things'', do not poop. They're actually rather curious about it, to the point of one asking somebody who until recently did have to poop what it felt like.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film]]
* ''{{Pleasantville}}'' makes a point of this -- Jennifer enters the bathroom to discover that there are no toilets, because they aren't necessary.
* There was some LampshadeHanging in ''Film/GalaxyQuest'' (or in a deleted scene, at any rate) where one of the Thermians mentions to Creator/AlanRickman's character that Earth's "historical documents" (television programs) did not contain any information regarding waste facilities on the ship and "we extrapolated based on your anatomy" - revealing what looked to be the most horrendously painful toilet ever created.
* ''Franchise/StarTrek''
** The lack of toilets is lampshaded in ''Film/StarTrekFirstContact'':
--> '''Cochrane:''' I gotta take a leak.
--> '''[=LaForge=]:''' Leak? I'm not detecting any leak.
--> '''Cochrane:''' Don't you people from the 24th century ever pee?
** Geordi goes on to chuckle at the euphemism, so the dialogue seemed to be more about the "take a leak" figure of speech being unknown to the crew in the future.
** Speaking of which, in a parody video on the website [[http://www.flowgo.com Flowgo]] called Tot Trek, Baby Scotty can't give them warp speed because "he's teething and his diaper needs changing."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* Actress [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamzin_Merchant Tamzin Merchant]] wrote a hilarious poem discussing this, called [[http://www.platformsmagazine.com/1/contents/toilet.htm "Ode to a Toilet".]]
* Lampshaded in ''The Second {{Literature/Foundation}}'', where a girl sneaks aboard a ship and hides there, like she read and saw a lot in popular culture. Then she realizes that the books failed to mention some things, and she cannot remain in her hiding place for long...
* [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] in Donaya Haymond's ''Literature/LegendsOfLaconia'' series. In ''Waking Echoes'', the prison cell Ty spends three days in has a toilet, and in ''Bite Me'' Matthew asks Dianne if her [[OurVampiresAreDifferent father]] goes to the bathroom, saying he's always wondered about those in his [[UnusualEuphemism condition]].
* One of the later ''Literature/SixteenThirtyTwo'' books -- ''1635: The Eastern Front'' -- includes a scene where a radio transmission was delayed because one of General Stearns's staff colonels was "taking care of urgent business."
-->'''Long:''' If it's urgent business, he may be occupied for a while yet.\\
'''Stearns:''' He should be finishing up any second now. [[LampshadeHanging It's the sort of pressing business that never makes its way into fiction.]]
* Lampshaded in the KevinBrooks novel ''Lucas'' - while waiting for the antagonists to walk past, so she can stalk them, Cait realises that she really needs to pee, and she decides to go in some nearby tall grass...[[spoiler:only for the antagonists to find her when she's still got her pants down]]. She muses in her narration that you never see anyone got to the toilet in films, and if you do, it's only because something dramatic is going to happen when they're in the toilet - being attacked by an enemy, for example.
* Lampshaded in ''Literature/TheNeverEndingStory''. Bastian has to [[UnusualEuphemism deliver a fax]], and wonders why the characters in the books never seem to have that need. [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin He got detention for pointing that out in class]]. (Specifically, he had asked his teacher if Jesus ever had to poop.)
* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' novel ''Discworld/{{Snuff}}'', it's [[ConversationalTroping conversed]] when a little boy whose favourite book so far has been ''The World Of Poo'' "was beginning, with encouragement, to read books in which nobody had a bowel movement at all. Which, when you came to think about it, was a mystery all by itself."
* The StephenKing short story "Umney's Last Case" features a distraught author trying to muscle out his most famous creation so that he can enter the world of fiction and live without pain. He succeeds, and while the character is getting used to the real world, he wets himself because he's never actually ''had'' to use the bathroom before.
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[[folder: Live Action TV]]
* In ''HannahMontana'', when best friend Lilly Truscott is forced by Miley to go to the toilet, so that Miley can talk to a boy she likes. This is [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] when she gets back, after much drama has unfolded with Miley, when Lilly mentions how all the good stuff happens when people go to the toilet.
* Whedon was careful to show a toilet on Serenity. The first shot on the show inside a crewman's quarters was Mal zipping up and kicking the toilet back into its resting place.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:NewspaperComics]]
* One USAcres comic had Roy dragging Orson to stop water leaking from a rain storm. When asked how his night was, Orson tells about his dream, he says he went to France and sailed on the ocean, and drank it, thus giving him a fat stomach. Usually when someone drinks too much water, they have to pee, so it would have made more sense if he [[PottyFailure wet himself in his sleep]], but since the comic was for kids, showing Orson wetting himself might have been taboo back in the 80's.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
* Lampshaded in the new radio series of ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''. The teleportation devices in Slartibartfast's [[ItRunsOnNonsensoleum Bistromatic Ship]] are in the bathroom cubicles. Just before they set off, Arthur says "You know, in all this time, I have never once [[SoundEffectBleep *flush* ]]."
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games]]
* Lampshaded in ''PhoenixWrightAceAttorney - Trials and Tribulations'': Phoenix believes that his "[[BitchInSheepsClothing Perfect Little Dollie]]" doesn't have such disgusting bodily functions.
* ''VideoGame/TheTrailOfAnguish'' informs you, "You don't need to use the bathroom right now. It's an adventure game, after all."
* EarthBound lampshades the aversion to the trope. They have bathrooms in the game, but they all are occupied or otherwise unusable. In the first bathroom you come to, walking towards the door will result in a cutscene where one guy rushes in ahead of you. Attempting to enter will make him say: "Occupied!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* [[LampshadeHanging Lampshade-hung]] in ''{{Goblins}}'', where [[http://www.goblinscomic.com/01202007/ a guard tells a tale of how an adventurer was given roleplaying XP for... taking a crap, which also triggered a level-up]].
* Pip in ''Webcomic/SequentialArt'' has an interesting [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=751 biological theory]] of ''MyLittlePony'' world.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Western Animation]]
* Lampshaded in ''TheClevelandShow'' by two viewers outside of the 4th wall.
* The title characters of ''RenAndStimpy'' are occasionally seen sitting on the toilet, and from time to time the mother of the boy whose house they were staying at would inform them that "Cartoon characters don't need to use the bathroom!"
* Nobody poops in the world of Dr. Seuss. They [[HalloweenIsGrinchNight "go to the euphemism".]]
[[/folder]]
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