First you say what it isn't. Then you say what it is. Both of them effectively have the same meaning.

This is when a character rejects a word in preference of a more colorful (or much blunter) one -- often with the same practical meaning, given the circumstances, but with some extra connotations.

In most occasions, it will reflect just how easy, one-sided, or unsporting the thing in question is.

The most common form is "We're not lost, we just don't know where we are."

See also BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord, MetaphoricallyTrue, InsistentTerminology.

As an aside: In philosophy, this is a fallacy known as "Distinction Without a Difference".

Contrast BothSidesHaveAPoint.

----
!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* It's not a cookie, it's a Fig Newton.
* It's way better than fast food, it's Wendy's.
** KFC did a similar advertising campaign in the past with the slogan: "There's fast food and then there's KFC."
* It's not TV, it's {{HBO}}.
* An American Twix ad in 2012 detailed the differences between the left-hand bar and the right-hand bar -- using synonyms.
* It's not just any [X], It's an M&S [X].
* It's not a PC, it's a Mac. Except when it ''is'' a PC, thus contradicting all of their prior advertising and confusing viewers.
* There was a now-forgotten phone brand who demanded the audience to not call it a phone, ostensibly due to some features it had.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* At the end of ''Anime/RedGarden,'' the villain tells the main characters that he isn't killing them, he's destroying them; since they're already dead, it [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman doesn't count as killing]].
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'', Tomo loses to Sakaki in a footrace, and shouts that she's not the loser, but the runner-up.
* ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaAs''
** Used and {{lampshade|Hanging}}d during the battle between [[PettingZooPeople Arf and Zafila]].
--->'''Arf:''' Are you one of their familiars?\\
'''Zafila:''' In Belka space, we don't call the beasts that serve their masters "familiars"! We call them their fangs and shields! We're Guardian Beasts!\\
'''Arf:''' It's just the same damn thing!
** And again in ''Audioplay/StrikersSoundStageX'', which is set [[TimeSkip three years after]] ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaStrikerS'', when Agito visits Lutecia in the latter's [[PenalColony Prison Planet]], which, to be fair to Agito, [[LuxuryPrisonSuite really is a pretty nice place]].
--->'''Agito:''' You know, this place is really great.\\
'''Lutecia:''' You mean you can't see that it's a criminal deportation world?\\
'''Agito:''' That's not what I mean. It's not a penal colony. It's a world that people are currently adapting and developing.
* In ''Manga/MariaHolic'', when Mariya first comes to the conclusion that Kanako is a lesbian pervert, Kanako insists that he refer to it as "yuri". He of course then [[LampshadeHanging points out]] that that means the same thing.
* Similarly, in ''Manga/LuckyStar'', after Konata asks her dad, on account of him having loved [[OlderThanTheyLook Kanata]] and is clingy with Konata herself, if he is a {{Lolicon}}, he insists that she's got him all wrong; he not only likes young girls, but likes more mature, well-endowed women, too, so he is "''also'' a lolicon"... Konata is suitably disturbed.
* After another [[FailureIstheOnlyOption Team Rocket]] plot failed on ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'', Meowth said to think of it instead as not succeeding.
* [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Futari_Ecchi_v01_002.jpg Apparently]] ''Manga/FutariEcchi'' is not {{hentai}}, but rather the thinking man's erotic manga. The author insists he's not lying.
* In ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'', when Naruto accused Jiraya of being a pervert, Jiraya replied that he's not a pervert but a ''super''-pervert.
** A much more serious example happens later, when [[spoiler: [[BigBad Ob]][[EvilFormerFriend ito]] tells Kakashi that [[TheLostLenore Rin's]] death is not his reason for pulling the entire world into a war. He then goes on to state that Rin's death [[StartOfDarkness opened his eyes to the truth]] that [[StrawNihilist the world is worthless,]] and so therefore [[AssimilationPlot needs to]] [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans change.]]]]
* Munakata of ''Manga/MedakaBox'' introduces himself by saying that he does not kill people for no reason. He begins to list his reasons for killing, each flimsier than the last, until finally he just says, [[ForTheEvulz "And for no reason whatsoever, I'll kill you."]] [[spoiler:He doesn't kill Hitoyoshi, nor does he intend to throughout their fight, even though his Abnormality gives him an overwhelming desire to do so. Quite possibly his ''real'' Abnormality is "self-control".]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* From the Creator/DonRosa story "The Billionaire of Dismal Downs":
-->'''Fergus:''' Oh, dear - my son is as crazy as a loon!\\
'''Hortense:''' ''[[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney Poor]]'' [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney people are crazy, papa! Rich people are]] ''[[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney eccentric]]''!\\
'''Matilda:''' Scroogey's as eccentric as a loon!
* Devin Grayson stated that Comicbook/{{Nightwing}}'s... unfortunate encounter with Tarantula "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual" - a feat roughly on par with saying "not the ocean, just a really big sea."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Fiction]]
* Princess Corona does this in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' Fanfic ''FanFic/TheSuccessors'' when her sister asks her how her flying lessons went:
--> '''Corona''': Um…awesome! Yeah, they were great. I, uh…well, I’m still having trouble taking off…and staying airborne…and, uh…landing…. ({{beat}}) Okay, so I’m not really doing all that great.
* In ''Fanfic/ThePrayerWarriors'', Jerry has this to say about his girlfriend, Mary (emphasis added).
-->'''Jerry Narrates''': "I and her '''are not dating''', if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on. '''We are dating''', but we are not having Sex until we get married."
* Nora uses this to deny running a betting ring on when Darrel and Yang would kiss in ''FanFic/RWBYReckoning''.
-->'''Nora:''' No, no, it's not betting. We just put some money into a communal account, and depending on when you two engage in certain activities together, we each earn a little bit depending on when we said it would happen.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* ''Disney/RobinHood'', the [[Franchise/DisneyAnimatedCanon Disney version]]:
-->'''Robin Hood:''' Rob? Tch tch. That's a naughty word, we never rob. We just... Sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.\\
'''Little John:''' Borrow? Heh. Boy, are we in debt.
* From ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'': "That wasn't flying. It was falling with style!"
* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:'' "I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die."
* On the DVD commentary for ''WesternAnimation/GIJoeTheMovie'', it was mentioned that while Cobra ''retreats'', the Joes ''withdraw''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''[[Film/TheMummyTrilogy The Mummy Returns]]'':
-->'''Evie:''' Alex, I'm serious. If you've lost that key, you're grounded.\\
'''Alex:''' I didn't lose it, i just can't find it. There's a difference.\\
'''Evie:''' Well you'd better start finding it, then.
* ''Film/TheBigRedOne'':
-->'''Griff:''' [referring to German soldiers] I can't murder anybody.\\
'''The Sergeant:''' We don't murder; we kill.\\
'''Griff:''' [sarcastically] What's the difference?\\
'''The Sergeant:''' You don't murder animals; you kill 'em.
* In ''Film/RatRace'' the rich gambler (Creator/JohnCleese) orchestrating the titular race is "too rich to be crazy. I'm 'eccentric!'"
* In ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'', the protagonists Lone Starr and Barf need '1 million spacebucks' to get out of a debt with a creature called 'Pizza the Hutt' in a situation clearly meant to mirror Han Solo and Chewbacca's within ''Franchise/StarWars''. After being given a mission to rescue a king's daughter and successfully demanding that price, Barf is afraid by how they are risking their lives for money. Lone Starr replies:
-->'''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[OnlyInItForTheMoney just doing this for money]]. ({{beat}}) We're doing it for a ''[[PrecisionFStrike shitload]]'' of money!
** Before that, they were hesitant to accept the mission:
-->'''Barf:''' Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid-- far from it! It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's... not us.
* The Don Rosa quote above mirrors one in ''Film/{{Speed}}'':
-->'''Jack''': (To Payne, holding Annie hostage) Mister, you're crazy!\\
'''Payne''': No, Jack. Poor people are crazy. (Pointing to ransom money) I'm eccentric.
* From ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl'':
-->'''Anamaria:''' You stole my boat!\\
'''Jack:''' ''Borrowed!'' Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving it back.\\
'''Anamaria:''' ''But you DIDN'T!!''
** Subverted earlier; Jack is not denying theft, per se, but if Will's going to be on a ship, he needs to use the right terms.
-->'''Will:''' We're going to steal that ship? ''(beckoning to the ''Dauntless'')''\\
'''Jack:''' Commandeer. We're going to '''commandeer''' ''(points to the ''Interceptor'')'' '''that''' ship. Nautical term.
* Preemptively averted by Sgt. Howie in ''Film/TheWickerMan'' (1977). "Now you can wrap it up any way you like, but you people are about to commit ''murder''."
* A profoundly nonsensical example shows up in ''Film/{{Troll 2}}'':
-->'''Holly:''' He's not my beau. He's my ''boyfriend''!
* ''Film/TheBigLebowski'':
-->'''The Dude''': Just stay away from my fucking lady friend.\\
'''Da Fino''': Hey, hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.\\
'''The Dude''': She's not my "special lady," she's my fucking lady friend.
* ''Film/{{Clue}}'':
-->'''Wadsworth:''' THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT! WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT ''WHO'' KILLED HIM, AND ''WHERE'' AND WITH ''WHAT''!\\
'''Professor Plum:''' There's no need to shout!\\
'''Wadsworth:''' '''I'M NOT SHOUTING!''' ({{beat}}) ALL RIGHT, I AM! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOU--
** At this point, his shouting has vibrated the candlestick from its perch above the doorway he's standing in and clocked him on the head.
* ''Film/KingdomOfHeaven'':
-->'''Balian''': What is Jerusalem worth?\\
'''Saladin''': Nothing. (He walks away then turns around) '''Everything.'''
* Gargamel isn't obsessed with Film/TheSmurfs, he just "can't stop thinking about them".
* From ''Film/TheShining'', as Jack Torrance has lost it and starts menacing his wife.
-->'''Jack:''' I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash them right the fuck in!
* In ''Film/XMenFirstClass'', Emma Frost interrupts the CIA Directer and Stryker Sr. when they're discussing the possibility of a war. She prefers not to use that term; it implies that both sides have an equal chance of winning. Though it doesn't imply that at all, of course. See the Anglo-Zanzibar War for example (or many others). Made for a good piece of dialogue though.
* In ''Film/NationalTreasure'', [[Creator/NicolasCage Ben]] tells Riley that when ThomasEdison was asked about his first failed 1000 attempts to make a light bulb, he replied that he didn't fail. He just figured out 1000 ways how ''not'' to make a light bulb.
* In ''Film/GetHimToTheGreek'', Aldous offers the sage advice: "Don't think of it as a threesome, think of it as having sex with your girlfriend while someone else also has sex with your girlfriend." This one actually makes ''some'' amount of sense, since there's a distinction between these kind of threeways, and the kind that involve lovemaking between all three participants.
* In ''Film/TheBluesBrothers'', Jake finds out from Elwood that the rest of their old band had taken straight jobs. Jake is upset that Elwood lied to him and claimed that the band might still get back together; Elwood replies, "It wasn't a lie... it was bullshit."
* A classic example from ''Film/ThisIsSpinalTap'':
-->'''Marty:''' The last time Tap toured America, they where, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour, they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh, I was just wondering, does this mean uh... the popularity of the group is waning?
-->'''Ian:''' Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the... uh... their appeal is becoming more selective.
* ''Film/OzTheGreatAndPowerful''
-->'''Oz''': And you can get a big pile of bananas.\\
'''Finnley''': Oh, I see, because I'm a monkey, I must love bananas. That, sir, is a vicious stereotype.\\
'''Oz''': You don't like bananas?\\
'''Finnley''': [[HypocriticalHumor Of course I love bananas. I'm a monkey.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban'', Cornelius Fudge says "Sirius Black didn't kill Pettigrew. He destroyed him!" In fairness to Fudge, [[spoiler: the prevailing theory/official story at the time was that]] Black [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill caused an explosion in a crowded street, and Pettigrew was caught at the center such that the biggest/only part of him they could recover and identify was a finger]]. Blowing someone up is a fairly extreme way to kill someone, especially given the existence of spells that can kill quickly and silently.
* Sam Vimes, ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'': "I was a drunk. You have to be richer than I was to be an alcoholic."
** Also, Granny Weatherwax doesn't get lost. She always knows where she is. It's the rest of the world that has a location problem.
** Literature/{{Discworld}} itself doesn't have continuity errors, but it does occasionally have alternate pasts.
*** The above is not just a clever reinterpretation - attempting to understand the canon timeline is an exercise in futility because the timeline in the Discworld was literally shattered into a billion pieces and glued together bit by bit a bunch of monks. ''Twice'' (that we've seen in detail so far... it's strongly implied that the History Monks do this ''all the time'').\\
These monks are also constantly shunting time from places with too much to places with too little, so how long things take depends on how long they need to take.
** The Discworld books have also used the "poor people are mad, rich people are eccentric" line a few times. In the ''Companion'' it adds that King Ludwig the Tree (who believed there should be a new kind of frog, and wore his underpants on his head) was "a little confused".
** The Assassin's Guild are masters of this trope:
## Small-a assassins are thugs who kill people for money; capital-A Assassins are [[WickedCultured refined gentlemen of wealth and breeding who enjoy food, wine, and culture]], and are occasionally commissioned by other refined gentlemen of wealth and breeding to "remove, for a consideration, any inconvenient razors from the candyfloss of life".
## Capital-A Assassins do not "kill" people. They inhume, delete, rub out, or remove people, but "killing" implies a certain unprofessionalism.
## Capital-A Assassins are ''never'' "employed". They are commissioned, engaged, retained, contracted. [[note]]Of the three, the most valid. There exists a minor, but valid distinction under RealLife Employment Law that presumably also applies on the Discworld.[[/note]]
** It's not necromancy, it's Post-Mortem Communication. Necromancy is a very bad form of magic, done only by evil wizards. [[NoTrueScotsman Since we are not evil wizards, what we are doing cannot possibly be called necromancy]].
** As the author has asserted, Fourecks is NOT UsefulNotes/{{Australia}}. It just happens to share certain suspicious resemblances, turned UpToEleven.
* Literature/CiaphasCain, '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM''' has an interesting take on this. Usually the reword puts someone in a better light. He, on the other hand, spends hundreds of pages explaining in detail how he is ''not'' a hero, that he doesn't charge the enemy, he's really retreating through them. You can bet each one of his stories has hundreds of these rewordings; being the ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'' universe, though, he ''is'' a BadAss.
* ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' had Ax retort that he did not fall asleep in class as had been insinuated; he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.
-->'''Rachel:''' Did you snore when you got all calm and restful and not completely alert?
* The ''Lasher'' series:
-->'''Mona:''' I didn't lose my virginity. [[UpToEleven I obliterated all traces of its existence]].
* Inverted in the fourth ''Literature/ArtemisFowl'' book, when Trouble Kelp orders his troops to "retreat". The narration points out the troops' disbelief; whether it's called a retreat or a tactical withdrawal, they're still running away.
** "It ain't got nothing to do with luck. Fortune delivered you into my hands."
* Becoming involved in the machinations of Contact in ''[[Literature/TheCulture Look to Windward]]'', Ziller suggests some of the Minds may be lying and is corrected by a Contact drone in an ExpospeakGag fashion:
-->"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought."
* In ''Literature/HonorHarrington'', when a Grayson makes a promise to a doomed man, the text states that it was not a promise, but an oath. Possibly justified, since Graysons are all highly religious.
* ''Literature/TheBelgariad'' has a lot of fun with this, particularly regarding nautical terms. Land-based characters are frequently called out on their use of "tip over" instead of "capsize", "right" instead of "starboard", and "boat" instead of "ship".
* Literature/SherlockHolmes has this in "The Adventure of Black Peter":
-->"You say I murdered Peter Carey; I say I killed Peter Carey, and there's all the difference."
** In the man's defense [[spoiler: Peter Carey had attacked him first. He was essentially saying that he killed the man in self-defense, rather than murdering him in cold blood,]] which of course is a ''very'' significant difference in a legal context.
* ''[[Literature/HilaryTamar Thus Was Adonis Murdered]]'' by Sarah Caudwell has a nice example:
-->"It's not exactly that she's unobservant. It's just that she doesn't always notice what's happening."
* [[Literature/AnimalFarm "All animals are equal…but some animals are more equal than others."]] Which is of course an inversion, as they are ''not'' implying that all animals are equal...
* Acheron Hades, the main villain of the first ''Literature/ThursdayNext'' novel, isn't mad. Despite the fact that does terrible things for the sake of doing them. No, he's differently moraled. And don't you forget it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{Angel}}'':
** In an earlier episode, Cordelia tries to move in with Angel when she gets sick of her own roach-infested apartment, saying "It's not that you're my last resort; it's just that I had nowhere else to go."
* ''Series/{{Smallville}}''
-->'''Chloe Sullivan''': This is not a date. This is a fact-finding mission to see if he deserves a date.
** InsistentTerminology possibly due to that she was still trying to snag [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark Kent]] (she was talking about another guy).
* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
** The Eleventh Doctor seems incredibly fond of this; Several of his episodes involve examples of him doing this.
** From [[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E2TheBeastBelow "The Beast Below"]]: "Except it's not a torture chamber, is it? Well, except it is. Except it isn't."
** He also does one with himself in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E9NightTerrors "Night Terrors"]]: "Pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're wondering. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case."
** He says something very similar about [[spoiler: the Silence]] in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E1TheImpossibleAstronaut "The Impossible Astronaut"]]/[[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E2DayOfTheMoon "Day of the Moon"]].
--->'''The Doctor:''' It's not an invasion, it's an occupation.
** Later, when the Doctor and the TARDIS get to speak.
--->'''The TARDIS:''' Then you stole me. And I stole you.\\
'''The Doctor:''' I borrowed you.\\
'''The TARDIS:''' Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing which was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?
** Ahem. "THIS IS NOT WAR!! THIS IS PEST CONTROL!!!"
* Inverted (sort of) in ''Series/{{Firefly}}'':
-->'''Inara:''' Well, since I can't seem to find work as a Companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!\\
[An uncomfortable silence descends for a moment.]\\
'''Mal:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Petty?]]\\
'''Inara:''' I didn't mean petty.\\
'''Mal:''' What did you mean?\\
'''Inara:''' ...Suo-shee?\\
'''Mal:''' [[LostInTranslation That's Chinese for "petty".]]
** Another ''Series/{{Firefly}}'' example, from "Objects In Space":
--->'''River:''' She understands. She doesn't comprehend.\\
'''Mal:''' [[SarcasmMode Glad we have that cleared up]].
*** This is something of a subversion, however. There is a distinction between understanding and comprehending, but not one Mal is likely to understand ''or'' comprehend.
**** The distinction is that understand is to grasp the meaning of the word or phrase, whereas comprehend is to have a clear picture of the reasoning by which the words that are understood were reached. In the above phrase, River knows what is going on, but doesn't understand ''why''. Admittedly, this is a pretty pedantic difference that usually doesn't matter. In fact the word "comprehend" appears in the definition of "understand" on dictionary.com, and the word "understand" appears in that same resource's definition of "comprehend." Like most synonyms, the words mean essentially the same thing, just with different implications.
** [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Jubal Early]] gives us the most egregious example:
--->'''Simon:''' So you're a {{bounty hunter}}.
--->'''Jubal:''' No, that ain't it at all.
--->'''Simon:''' Then what are you?
--->'''Jubal:''' I'm a bounty hunter.
*** Possibly explained by another scene where Jubal mishears "Are you Alliance?" as "Are you a lion?" implying that he may be hard of hearing (which seems like a bad trait for a bounty hunter to have, but whatever). So he may have misheard "bounty hunter" as...I don't know, "booty counter" maybe.
*** Or he realized that the two of them meant different things when they said 'bounty hunter'.
--->'''Simon:''' So you're a horrible person that is going to take back my sister to the people that tortured her.
--->'''Jubal:''' No, that ain't it at all.
--->'''Simon:''' Then what are you?
--->'''Jubal:''' I'm a paid profesional that is taking back a wanted fugitive to the proper authorities.
* ''Literature/GossipGirl'': "Actually, it's hash. I find it gives a softer high."
* Jim Trott from ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'': "No, no, no, no,no, ... Yes"
** And also his (rarely seen) wife: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, ... No"
* The Dutch children's show ''Series/BassieEnAdriaan'' gives us a [[RunningGag repeated example]]:
-->'''Bassie''' (usually while drifting to sleep): I'll go look at that on the inside of my eyes.
** Usually this implied "I'm going to dream about that."
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'':
** Inverted in an episode that takes place in a dream (well, several dreams):
-->'''Dream-Giles:''' You hold them, you touch them, uh, use them, um...\\
'''Dream-Harmony:''' Props?\\
'''Dream-Giles:''' No.\\
'''Dream-Riley:''' Props?\\
'''Dream-Giles:''' Yes!
** Buffy also prefers to think of it as [[InsistentTerminology "slaying"]] vampires rather than "killing" them.[[note]]She's on somewhat firm ground, linguistically. [[HaveAGayOldTime Historically]], "slay" meant "cause the death of, including justifiably", while "kill" meant "murder"...and "murder" meant "assassinate"; the coinage of "assassinate" by Shakespeare probably contributed to the definition-creep of the other words.[[/note]]
** In Season 8, Buffy works out that she was woken by a TrueLovesKiss from Satsu, a fellow slayer. She tells her that they can't be with each other. Then Buffy sleeps with her. Then reverting to the way she was with Spike, Buffy again tries to break off the romance, then sleeps with Satsu again.
** From Season 9:
--> '''Sophie:''' "We certainly don't associate with ''anyone'' who'd do something like ''that''. Wait. Yes we ''do'', don't we?"
* From ''Series/BurnNotice'':
-->'''Sam Axe''': Yeah, actually, I need you to keep your head down for a while 'cause this is going to get worse before it gets better.\\
'''Madeline''': Sam... you're asking me to hide?\\
'''Sam''': Oh, no, no, no, of course not. I just need you to be some place where no one can see you.
** Quoth Westen, upon being asked what he was thinking threatening an FBI agent for information: "I didn't threaten him. I asked him questions... with a gun in my hand." (If you saw the scene... he was ''totally'' threatening him.)
* From Jon Stewart on ''Series/TheDailyShow'': "[The Bush] Administration does not torture logic, no! This administration merely flew logic in an unmarked plane to Bulgaria. Whatever happened to logic there, we have no idea."
** John Oliver once insisted that [[PornStash a box marked "porn"]] in fact contained erotica, which was his legacy and had to go to a library.
* Rigel from ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' insisted that he never retreats, but "strategically maneuvers".
** When once accused of "snurching"(Farscape-ese for stealing) he responds "I don't snurch, I... ''procure''."
* This bit from ''Series/HelloCheeky'', just after Tim has told a dirty joke to the camera.
-->'''Barry:''' Please! There's no room for vulgarity on this programme!
-->'''John:''' Why?
-->'''Barry:''' There's too much filth and nonsense!
* Averted in ''Series/{{Heroes}}''.
-->'''Sylar''': I'm not a SerialKiller.\\
'''Luke''': You kill people, you take souvenirs...\\
'''Sylar''': Okay, [[VerbalBackspace technically]], I'm a serial killer.
* ''Series/HeyDude'':
-->'''Buddy:''' Mom, Dad, I'm gonna lasso you two if you don't stop yelling!\\
'''Mr. Ernst:''' We're not yelling, Buddy, we're talking loudly.\\
'''Buddy:''' That's what you always say.
* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' has this dialogue snippet between two pepperpots:
-->'''Mrs. Thing''': Oh, have you been shopping?\\
'''Mrs. Entity''': No, I've been shopping.
** And from the"Nudge Nudge" sketch:
-->'''Norman:''' Look, are you insinuating something?
-->'''Him:''' Oh, no, no, no... yes.
* Monty Python's Eric Idle then went on to do a sketch on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' in which he begins a talk show on which he'll be interviewing Richard Nixon by assuring the audience that his show is, of course, "completely uncensored, except for the little bits we'll cut out."
* From the ''Series/RedDwarf'' episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":
-->'''Kryten:''' It's charging us with looting Space Corps derelicts.\\
'''Lister:''' But we don't loot Space Corps derelicts. We just hack our way in and swipe what we need!\\
'''Rimmer:''' ...Lister, if this goes to trial, I demand separate lawyers.
** Also from the episode "Holoship":
-->'''Rimmer:''' Oh, and sir -- you're wrong. We won't be apart, we just... won't be together. ({{beat}}) I cannot believe I just said that.
*** Itself a callback to some crappy ''Film/{{Casablanca}}'' knockoff they were watching at the start of the episode. (Rimmer considered it {{Glurge}}.)
-->'''Marnie''': We'll always be together! It's just... that we'll be apart.
* A skit on ''Radio/RoyalCanadianAirFarce'' during the Bre-X scandal: "Now, Pamela [Wallin, a somewhat famous Canadian newsanchor], we don't lie--we misappropriate the truth."
* This snippet from ''Series/{{Skins}}'', when Naomi goes to visit Effy in her psychiatric institution.
-->'''Effy:''' You think you're going mad, so you came to see me to see what a crazy person looks like.\\
-->'''Naomi:''' No. NO! No... yes.
* The ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' episode "Court Martial" has this exchange when Spock tries to defend Kirk on the witness stand.
-->'''Shaw''': Are you disputing with the computer?
-->'''Spock''': I am not disputing with the computer; I am merely stating that it is wrong.
* Sisko on ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'': "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."
** The Female Changeling, when declaring the need to pull back their forces, is accused of retreating by her Breen allies. She and Weyoun immediately try to spin it as a momentary withdrawal so they can build up their forces and attack again.
* ''Series/TheWestWing'':
-->'''President Bartlet''': You told the press I have a secret plan to fight inflation?\\
'''Josh''': No, I did not. Let me be absolutely clear, I did not do that. Except, yes, I did that.
** Also counts as a bit of a GeniusBonus, as UsefulNotes/RichardNixon had a "secret plan" to win in Vietnam, and UsefulNotes/GeraldFord claimed to have a plan to fight inflation...a key part of which involved [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whip_inflation_now buttons]].
* In ''Series/TheXFiles'', Mulder once claimed "I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation."
* "It's one of those irregularly declining words. I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he's round the twist." Bernard Woolley, ''Series/YesMinister''. Also, "I hold confidential briefings, you leak, he's been charged under section 2A of the Official Secrets Act."
* ''Series/{{JAG}}'': "Heroes" in the second season has Harm [[NeverLiveItDown firing a loaded submachine gun]] [[CourtroomAntics into the courtroom ceiling]]. Mac, for her part, goes diving under the table when this happens. When she later claims that Marines never hide, Harm asks her what she was doing down there.
-->'''Mac''': Taking cover.
* Early on the second season of ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
-->'''Janos Slynt''': "I won't have my honour questioned by an imp!"\\
'''Tyrion Lannister''': "I'm not questioning your honor Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence."
* From the ''Series/{{MASH}}'' episode "To Market, To Market," as Henry is polishing his new desk:
-->'''Henry:''' Radar, you know what kind of wood this desk is made with?
-->'''Radar:''' Oak, sir.
-->'''Henry:''' Nope. It's oak.
** An atypical example, because each time he does it (which he does to everyone he shows the desk off to) he's not actually listening to them. He's just glorying in having something cooler than ''[=MacArthur=]'' has.
* ''{{Series/Arrow}}'':
-->'''Oliver:''' Felicity, are you hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe?
-->'''Felicity:''' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord Hacking is such an ugly word]]. No, I'm... ''(pauses, can't come up with a better word)'' Yeah, totally hacking into the Merlyn Global mainframe.
* ''Series/{{Community}}'': "She's not dead. Her brain, heart, lungs, and kidneys stopped working".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3oFVAyAEWs "Yes, we Have no Bananas"]]
* Verse three of TheBeatles' ''Strawberry Fields Forever'':
-->''Always, no, sometimes think it's me''
-->''But you know I know that it's a dream''
-->''I think a "no" will be a "yes" but it's all wrong''
-->''That is I think I disagree.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* The ''Wrestling/{{WWE}}'' uses the phrase "released to pursue future endeavors" as a much politer euphemism for "We fired his ass".
** There is also the phrase: "WWE has come to terms with the release of [insert wrestlers name], we wish him/her the best in his/her future endeavors." Not surprisingly, it has reached [[MemeticMutation meme status.]]
** In his series ''Wrestle! Wrestle!'', [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] uses "future endeavors" to mean "The company is screwing you up the ass, quit now while you still have your dignity".
* While normally just a case of InsistentTerminology, whenever a [[strike:ring announcer]] commentator or [[strike:wrestler]] superstar verbally corrects their colleague about how to refer to [[strike:ProfessionalWrestling]] Sports Entertainment, it starts slipping into this territory. Especially if it's blatant enough to get [[strike:the fans]] The Universe to start booing about it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-up Comedy]]
* A joke from before TheGreatPoliticsMessUp where an American and a Russian are racing with the American winning. When the Russian newspapers print the story, they read that the American was second-to-last and the Russian was in second place.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]
* In the musical ''Theatre/FiniansRainbow'', there's the song "When the Idle Poor Become the Idle Rich", which covers this trope. A typical example:
-->When a rich man loses on a horse\\
Oh, isn't he a sport?\\
When a poor man loses on a horse--\\
He's a gambler, he's a spender\\
He's a low life, he's a reason for divorce!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty 2'' has a mission called ''Retreat? We're Advancing in Another Direction''.
** ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' joins in on the fun. Victory over a certain encounter relies upon you running from a boss and escaping his fortress before he one-shot kills your entire party. The linked achievement for doing this in a certain time is "We're Not Retreating; We're Advancing In A Different Direction!"
* In the rerelease of ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyTactics'', [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXII Balthier]] clarifies for some bounty hunters: "I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate."
** Because of Japanese linguistic conventions, the word "pirate" refers to one who is not in a Navy and not a fisherman - so it can also refer to people who claim salvage and seafaring (or skyfaring in this case) Treasure Hunters. Although he may be a thief as well, in Japanese media you can't assume Thief = Pirate.
*** He has a series of abilities called Plunder, which are just more effective variants of the Thief's Steal abilities. It is made pretty clear what his job entails.
** Similarly, in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI'', Locke insists, "I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter!" Regardless of the fact that some of the treasures he hunts are currently owned by someone else.
* [[LordErrorProne Yuan Shao]] in ''VideoGame/DynastyWarriors 5'': "This is not a retreat! Rather, a move for my future!"
* Used in the PC adventure game ''The Dagger of Amon Ra'':
-->"Kill is such an ugly word. Actually, we're going to [[HumanSacrifice sacrifice]] you to Amon Ra!"
* ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword'': First the developers said that the girl in the early promotional art wasn't the Master Sword -- she was the Goddess Sword. ...Which becomes the Master Sword later.
* In the first case of ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney'', prosecutor Winston Payne asks defendant Larry Butz if his ex-girlfriend, Cindy Stone (the murder victim in the case), broke up with him:
-->'''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls...or seeing me...ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''\\
'''Payne:''' Mr. Butz, what you describe is generally what we mean by "dumped".
* In the ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen'' game, this is used by [[BloodKnight Grindor]] to question [[TheStarscream Starscream's]] [[DirtyCoward courage under fire]]:
-->'''Grindor:''' I'm sorry, Starscream, I forgot: you don't retreat, you advance backwards!
* From ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'':
-->'''Courier''': In the meantime, you'd rule Vegas as some kind of dictator?\\
'''Mr. House''': I prefer the term "autocrat".
** Also, from the Old World Blues DLC:
--->'''Dr. Klein''': ''"I'm not going to harm it. I'm going to dissect it until it's dead!"''
* When you're Ubercharged as Soldier in ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'':
-->'''Soldier:''' We have you surrounded, at least from this side!
* ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'': "I'm not saying you owe me, but I am ''implying'' it."
* ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedIII'': Connor has just gone through an epic naval battle at Chesapeake Bay, all to get some French ships to aid him in his assault on Ft. George in New York. When he begins to explain his request to the Admiral, the following exchange occurs:
--> '''Admiral de Grasse''': ''"Wait, wait. I thought you might need some pirates killed, or goods transported. And instead, you ask us to....what, shell New York?"''
--> '''Connor''': ''"No. Of course not."''
--> '''de Grasse''': ''"Ah...."''
--> '''Connor''': ''"Only part of it."''
--> '''de Grasse''': ''"....explain yourself."''
* In ''VideoGame/{{Persona 3}}'', near after TheReveal regarding [[spoiler: Ikutsuki's manipulations to Eiichiro Takeba's video:]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Ikutsuki''': Ah yes, he did record that himself. Of course, I had to make some modifications.]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Yukari''': You doctored it?]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Ikusuki''': I corrected it.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* From [[http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0566.html episode 566]] of ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids''.
-->'''Palpatine:''' The Jedi have become a threat to the Republic, and... um...\\
'''Clone Trooper:''' Oh, no! That's terrible.\\
'''Palpatine:''' ...they attacked me.\\
'''Clone Trooper:''' Those bastards! Do you want us to kill them, sir?\\
'''Palpatine:''' Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that, but... [[MurderIsTheBestSolution Yes]].
* [[http://evil-inc.com/comic/when-worlds-collide-part-four-10/ This]] wonderful ''Webcomic/EvilInc'' comic {{subvert|edTrope}}s the expectation of the "[[AntiHero bad guy]]" when he insists on InsistentTerminology.
* Vincent from ''Webcomic/MyLifeInBlue'':
-->"I'm not queer, I'm inverted, [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe thou lie-breeding swine]]."
* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFoxhound''
-->'''Ocelot:''' 'Torture' is such an '''inelegant''' word. [[TortureTechnician I'm an artist]]. [[GroinAttack Their testicles are my canvas]].
* Haley from ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."
** She also describes Elan [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus]] : "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired".
* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' got a lot of this:
** Or [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-25 this]] one, on which our amorph answers:
-->'''TV Con''': …If what I just said insulted your intelligence, you should change the channel now.\\
'''Schlock''': I need this guy's address, and some breacher-round reloads.
** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-14 Andy is not bait. He is flypaper.]]
* From ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'': [[http://www.misfile.com/?date=2009-01-12 I'm not spying, I'm strategically listening.]]
* From ''Webcomic/ThreePanelSoul'': "[[http://threepanelsoul.com/2012/06/11/on-workforces They're not replacements. They're just going to do the same job as you, and eventually you won't work here anymore.]]"
* From ''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}'', a variation.
-->'''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Firstofficerbot]]:''' Is this true?\\
'''Vexxarr:''' Only in the sense that it's factually accurate...
* In ''Webcomic/GoGetARoomie'', [[http://www.gogetaroomie.com/index.php?id=209 Lillian answers two questions from Roomie in this form.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* "Technically you could call me a SerialKiller. I don't know if that's the correct noun. Personally, I just think I'm a bloke who had a few people put down. I don't have [[HearingVoices any voices in my head, and I haven't got any]] [[OedipusComplex mother-love fantasies]]. Well, not really." ~ [[spoiler:Terrence]], ''WebVideo/KateModern: The Last Work''
* ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'':
-->'''Joey:''' Shut up, Tristan! You just want to get into my sister's pants!\\
'''Tristan:''' No, I don't. I just want to ''have sex'' with her! ({{beat}}) Oh, [[CloudCuckoolander that's what you meant]]!
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has Sarge's "We're not retreating; We're advancing, towards future victory!"
** Also: "It's not pink, it's lightish red!
*** Which gets the appropriate response: "They have a word for that. PINK!"
** "I wouldn't really use the word '[[ReplacementGoldfish replace]],' but there's no word for 'Take over for you and make everything better almost immediately,' so we just say replace."
* From the ''Website/SomethingAwful'' review of the movie ''The House That Screamed'': "I'm not saying I disliked the film, I'm just saying that I'd rather rip all of my teeth out with rusty pliers, make them into a comb, and use the comb made of my own teeth to scrape all of my skin off than watch it again."
* This line from a [[http://childrenwithprivilege.tumblr.com/post/29074533665/pedo-fillet-the4mat-childrenwithprivilege post]] on "Children Who Need To Check Their Privilege":
-->"Ignorant shithead, I never said “KILL ALL WHITE BABIES” you’re putting words in my mouth asshole. We just need to kill ''some'' of them, especially the racist ones."
* In ''WebVideo/ThirdRateGamer'''s ''Daze Before Christmas'' review:
-->''"Ooh, I know what you're thinking: "How dare you make fun of Santa Claus!?" But I'm not! This game is awesome, but it's a piece of shit."''
** This was a parody of what WebVideo/TheIrateGamer said about ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros2'':
-->''"I know what you're thinking -- that I'm going to sit here and bash ''Super Mario 2''. But before you start sending your hate mail, just hear me out. Now, I don't hate ''Mario 2'', but when compared to the other ''Mario'' games, this one just has "ass" written all over it!"''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' episode "Up a Tree", Finn's conversation with the squirrel guarding his cell:
-->'''Finn''': So does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?
-->'''Squirrel''': Well yes. And no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No.
* In the little-known Creator/DreamWorksAnimation miniseries ''WesternAnimation/InvasionAmerica'' when the evil Dragit attempts to capture the Cale Oosha so he can invade/conquer Earth, this exchange takes place:
--> '''Cale''': TREASON!
--> '''Dragit''': Revolution.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'' in an episode just after Chas and Kira's wedding (and after the word "no" was established as Chuckie's first word), Chuckie is offered some juice and accepts, despite replying with "no". The adults understand him. This is TruthInTelevision, as "no" is easier to pronounce and is learned earlier.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''
** From the episode "The Cryonic Woman":
--->'''Fry:''' Let's do this now and never regret it.\\
[=* timeskip* =]\\
'''Fry:''' I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
** From "Anthology of Interest I"
--->'''Bender:''' BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord. I prefer 'extortion.' [[XtremeKoolLetterz The 'x' makes it sound cool]].
** From "The Sting"
--->'''Leela:''' Are you saying I'm going crazy?\\
'''Professor Farnsworth:''' No, no, no one's saying that... but I'm certainly thinking it loudly.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
** "Tennis the Menace":
--->'''Lisa:''' You're replacing me?\\
'''Homer:''' Oh Lisa, dumping is such a harsh word. Let's just say I'm replacing you.
** From "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife":
--->'''Homer:''' I didn't lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth!
** And from "Team Homer":
--->'''Mr. Burns:''' Look at them, Smithers, enjoying their embezzlement.
--->'''Smithers:''' I have a much uglier word for it, sir: ''misappropriation.''
** In "Homer Defined" when the power plant is having a meltdown, Kent Brockman asks Mr. Burns about it in a news report. Mr. Burns replies saying "meltdown is one of those buzzwords" and calls the situation an "unexpected fission surplus."
** "Homer the Heretic"
---> '''Marge''': Are you actually giving up your faith?
---> '''Homer''': No! No-no-no-no-no no! Well, yes.
* In one ''WesternAnimation/AladdinTheSeries'' episode, Iago says "This isn't stealing! It's surplus inventory reduction!"
* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
** "They're not pirate ghosts; they're ''ghost pirates!''". The distinction, apparently, is that a ghost pirate is the ghost of a pirate, whereas a pirate ghost is a ghost that decided to become a pirate.
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I don't make the rules for crack baby basketball.]] I just think them up and then write them down".
** "I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking. Right, boys?"
* In an episode of the ''WesternAnimation/SuperMarioWorld'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just...not know where he is."
** Also this exchange:
--->'''Oogtar:''' Oogtar not run. Oogtar jogging for health!\\
'''Yoshi:''' Jogging good for health?\\
'''Oogtar:''' Is when hungry, Oogtar-eating caterpillar behind you!
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'':
-->'''Sokka''': You guys are pirates!\\
'''Pirate''': We prefer to think of ourselves as "high-risk traders."
* Drakken of ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'' once decided to start outsourcing instead of stealing... yeah.
* In ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'' "The Bank," Dan corrects Chris that they won't go to jail for robbing the bank. Prison, probably, but not jail.[[note]]There is actually a difference, at least in American English. "Prison" is a state or even federal facility intended for sentences of over a year; "jail" is a municipal or county facility intended for sentences under a year.[[/note]]
* A RunningGag in ''WesternAnimation/Archer'' is for somebody (usually Krieger) to be accused of some immoral or bizarre activity, then to give a long, implausible denial, and finally state "Also, yes."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
** One episode gives us this little exchange:
--->'''Billy:''' [[NoIndoorVoice GRIM]]! Guess what I got on our camping trip! Guess guess guess guess guess!!
--->'''Grim:''' I don't know, Billy! … A rash?
--->'''Billy:''' No! … well, yes.
** There's also this:
--->'''Mandy''': Objection! He's leading the witness!
--->'''Billy''': I'm not leading him, I'm just making him say everything I want him to!
* ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse'' uses this in "Gremlin Alert" when he corners the anti-logic Gremlin with a "how can you agree with me when gremlins always disagree?" argument.
* ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'', "Driver's Test":
-->'''Kid of the week''': You mean on top of buildings and in outer space?\\
'''Uncle Grandpa''': No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.
* ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'', "Berry Scary": "We can still do it together, just without you."
* Darwin does this in ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball'' episode "The Name":
-->'''Gumball''': I can't do it! I'm weak!\\
'''Darwin''': You're not weak! You just lack upper body strength, lower body strength, and mental strength!
** Later in the same episode:
-->'''Gumball/[[SplitPersonality Zach]]''': [[ThirdPersonPerson Zach]] doesn't listen... he ''hears''.\\
'''Darwin''': [[LampshadeHanging They're the same thing.]]\\
'''Gumball''': What's that? I can't ''listen'' you right now.\\
** And in "The Boss":
-->'''Gumball''': You have a better idea?\\
'''Darwin''': No, I have a much better idea.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Maj. Gen. Oliver P. Smith, the Commanding General, 1st Marine Division, at the Chosin Reservoir, said, "Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction." To a civilian, retreat means "move away from a battle or position" but the military definition is specifically "withdrawal of troops to a more favorable position ''to escape the enemy's superior forces or after a defeat''. Since they were moving to ''attack'' the enemy as part of their break-out, their actions could be described as an advance rather than a retreat. What it all comes down to, of course, is that Marines would much rather point out that they were ''attacking'' the enemy instead of getting hung up on the fact that they were ''also'' getting themselves out of a very untenable situation. "Retreat" is a word that brings with it connotations of running away from the fight, which they were certainly not doing.
* People from Brussels have a habit of saying "non peut-etre" ("maybe no") when they actually mean "yes". ''Comicbook/{{Asterix}}'' once parodied this habit mercilessly, to the utter confusion of the Roman legionaries.
* Jasper Carrott did a stand-up routine about the Balinese allegedly hating to answer "No" to any question, leading to a conversation like:
-->'''Carrott:''' Do you have any tartare sauce?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh yes! ''(does nothing)''\\
'''Carrott:''' Er...well, can I have some then?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh yes! ''(smiles, does nothing)''\\
'''Carrott:''' ''(looks at watch)'' Er...will it be long?\\
'''Balinese waiter:''' ''(nodding pointedly)'' Oh, ''yes!''
** Their neighbours, the Javanese, also have this habit. This concept is called "Inggih, boten kepanggih" which is "Yes" as in "Yes, I understand perfectly what you said, but I never said I'm agreeing with you/confirming that".
* Another army story has Canadian troops during UsefulNotes/WorldWarII moving through a village, when a German Tank rounded the corner. Beating a hasty retreat, they told their [=CO=], who angrily yelled "You are Canadians! You do not retreat!" The troops feared he was going to order them on a suicide charge, until he followed up with "You are moving to a more strategic location!"
* According to William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, the first Doublespeak Award went, in 1974, to US Air Force Colonel David Opfer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for saying to American reporters, "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support."[[note]]Strictly speaking "air support" is a type of bombing, as distinguished from interdiction and strategic bombing. And the term "bombing" restricts one to the use of bombs exclusively. "Air Support" allows one to also use unguided rockets, missiles, and/or strafing with guns, which are much more useful in a tactical role. It also allows the use of helicopters as a launch vehicle—helicopters don't drop many bombs. (Of course, the distinction between rockets, missiles, and bombs is as lost on the average journalist as that between "''ὁμοούσιον''" and "''ὁμοιούσιον''").[[/note]]
** The source of the colonel's complaint is presumably that American journalists [[InsistentTerminology deliberately used only the term]] "bombing", [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything probably in order to bring to mind]] the deliberate bombing of civilian targets that was common in World War II (the only war most of the American public had had any direct contact with)—rather than giving the details of what "air support", something very different, entails (it's generally much more precise and smaller-scale, and mostly only used against enemy forces that are actually a threat).
* Publicly stated by a foreign official in 1998: "No viewpoints have been banned, except for those that have been banned by the law."
* David Dinkins, after it was discovered that he hadn't paid income tax some years earlier, replied: “I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
** He didn't commit a crime by taking an action the law prohibits. He failed to comply with the the law by failing to take an action the law requires. The distinction is understandably lost on ordinary citizens who can't get away with either. The difference between an ''offence'' and a ''failure to comply'' can be the difference between a jail sentence and a request from a legal authority to kindly comply with the law.
** There was a Swedish quote: "Jag har inte begått något brott, jag bara misslyckades med att följa lagen." Translation: "I haven't committed a crime, I simply failed in following the law."
* After losing to the Americans in a sporting event (not the Olympics) the Soviet media (supposedly) claimed that they had come in second, while the US came in second to last. Which is all totally true...since the event only had two nations competing: The U.S. and the Soviets.
* Such a common way of speaking there was a book about racism named (in Finnish) after the phrase: "I'm not racist, ''but''..." (Alternative: "I'm not racist, I just...") There are legitimate ways of continuing at least the latter sentence, of course, but the usual use falls under this trope.
** Now, thanks to the old Internet’s magic, we have: [[http://www.notracistbut.com/ NotRacistBut.com]], [[BileFascination a site where you can enjoy]] [[WhatAnIdiot quotes taken from public facebook search from various]] [[{{Hypocrite}} people who are not racist, but…]]
*** The other one is "I have black/gay/Jewish/white/Asian/insert minority to taste friends..."
* There is a "game" called Conjugation, which works like the "irregularly declining" words noted in the YesMinister example above. I'm liberal, you're radical, he's a bomb-throwing anarchist; I'm cautious, you're conservative, he's puritanical.
* ClarkesThirdLaw can be paraphrased as "the HandWave I'm using isn't magic, it's just science we don't understand yet!" You'd be surprised how often this excuse is given for stories which violate well-understood laws of physics.
* A country club spokesman on why a specific person was refused admission thereto:
--> We didn't turn him down. We didn't admit him.
* Website/FundiesSayTheDarndestThings has several examples.
** "[[http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=51351 '[G]laciers' were not ice but frozen water]]."
** "[[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=6973 Vinnie accused me of circular reasoning in concluding that the Bible is a work of non-fiction. My reasoning is not at all circular, I felt that I was pretty clear. First, I presume the verity of the Biblical writers. Second, the writers claim that they were inspired by God and they are recording the truth. Conclusion, the Bible is a work of non-fiction.]]"
** [[http://fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=65358 "I'm not racist, but... black people are an insult to our race."]][[note]] The full quote is, "I´m not racist but I believe black people are closer to gorillas than to white people... that´s why we shouldn´t get mixed with black people, we are different species and they should stay at Africa? or to the zoo, somewere far away from us, as I said I´m not racist and I don´t pretend to insult anybody, but black people is a threat to our race."[[/note]]
* Books on marine mammals will often claim that "the orca isn't a whale, it's a dolphin"… despite the fact that dolphins are whales themselves (at least if the beluga & sperm whale are considered whales). Orcas are more closely related to dolphins than to the other toothed whales, and the whales as a whole divide into two main groups, the toothed whales and the baleen whales. The separation of dolphins from other cetaceans (whales) is a relic of classification methods that allowed groupings of the form "All of THESE except for THOSE", which the most modern classification method (cladistics) does not allow.
** Depends '''heavily''' on the language one uses. For example in French, it's incorrect to call any cetacean with teeth a "'''baleine'''" (whale). ''Baleine'' equals members of the taxon ''Balaenidae'' and can be extended to all ''Mysticeti'' (baleen whales) but no further. It helps that neither orcas nor sperm whales (''cachalot'') are ever called ''baleine'' in vernacular language in French.
* Daniel Boone once said of himself, "I can't say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for three days."
* It's not a recession, it's an economic deceleration. Which can make sense, assuming the speaker means the economy is still growing, albeit more slowly, instead of shrinking.
** Similarly, but in the opposite direction, the common complaint that some government is not ''cutting'' spending, but only ''slowing the rate'' at which spending increases.
* It's not a threat; it's a promise.
* Croatian politician Andrija Hebrang, after being called a liar: "I do not lie, nor do I tell lies, I merely speak untruths, which is much more polite."
* This famous dialogue from TheFrenchRevolution just after Louis XVI was informed of the Bastille's fall:
--> '''Louis XVI:''' ''Is it a revolt?''
--> '''Aide:''' ''No, sire. It is a revolution.''
[[/folder]]

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