->'''Lucy:''' My grandmother can hit better than that!
->''[[NeverMessWithGranny (she is immediately hit with a purse)]]''
->'''Lucy:''' Sorry, Gramma... it's just an expression.
-->-- ''{{ComicStrip/Peanuts}}''

StockPhrase.

A common insult. Sometimes "grandma" is replaced with something else, usually "sister". Bonus points for following it up with "...and she's dead!" Although it can be amusing if she is not only alive, but [[RightBehindMe Right Behind The Speaker]].

See NeverMessWithGranny, CoolOldLady, and ApronMatron, for when there is some truth to this statement.
See YouFightLikeACow and MyDadCanBeatUpYourDad for similar insults.
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!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* In the {{Toonami}} version of ''DragonBallZ'', a virtual Sayan warrior (conjured by Mr Popo's training room) uses this line to ridicule the secondary characters' power levels.
* ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'': Ishida uses the same line when ridiculing Ichigo on the bad quality of the path he makes while crossing through the Garganta (at least in the Hungarian version). This may not be entirely unfounded though, even though we don't even know if Ishida has a (living) grandma, or if she was a quincy.
** [[spoiler:His grandmother (the mother of his father) was a strict [[GratuitousGerman echt quincy]].]]
* One of the [[BigBad Big Bads]] from ''DigimonAdventure'' was a rock-music ape named Etemon. He stood about half the size of the highest-level-to-date protagonist Digimon, but even when blasted by needles from a ten-foot-tall walking cactus with fists, he tossed it away with, "Is that the best you can do? I've seen sharper needles in Granny's knittin' bag!"
* ''Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure'' Part 2: "You'd lose in a fight to this untrained woman!" "Oh yeah, well you'd lose in a fight to a pigeon!". The arguers then attempt to prove their statements using KiAttacks in a scene that has to be seen to be believed.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comics]]
* ''{{ComicStrip/Peanuts}}'' has one strip where Lucy shouts "You throw like my grandma!" during a ball game, only to then turn and apologize to said Grandma who is watching the game.
* ''{{ComicStrip/Garfield}}'' has [[http://www.garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=2011&addr=111027 one strip]] where he was watching tv and there was a monster. The monster was so slow a character said "My Grandmother could outrun that mon-". Garfield then mentioned that "Maw-Maw went with her track shoes on".
* In a late 80s issue of ComicBook/{{X-Men}}, when Freedom Force (aka the former Brotherhood of Evil Mutants) receives two less-than-wanted new teammates, Pyro comments "You ask me, my old gran in Woomaloo could take those two."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live Action]]
* A variation occurs in ''Film/SpyKids 2: Island of Dreams'': When Donnagon and the kids' father Gregorio fight [[spoiler:one another for the Transmooker device]], during the fight, his wife Ingrid tells him to do the Suplex. He does, but it ends up rather hilarious. Then, the grandma of the kids groans that she could do better than that.
* CoolRunnings: Irritated with his teammate's slow preparation for a night out, Yul Brenner snaps, "Hurry up man, I've got a dead grandmother that moves faster than you!"
* ''Film/CaptainAmericaTheFirstAvenger:'' Agent Carter tells soldiers doing pushups that her grandmother could do better, "God rest her soul."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado'':
-->'''Miguel:''' You fight like my sister!\\
'''Tulio:''' [[InsultBackfire I fought your sister, that's a compliment!]]
* ''{{Disney/Pinocchio}}'':
-->'''Lampwick:''' Ah, you smoke like me grandma!
* ''B.O.B.'s Big Break'', supplemental short on the ''MonstersVsAliens'' DVD:
-->'''General Monger:''' You throw like my nine-year-old niece... that I may or may not have.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* Used at least once in ''Literature/CaptainUnderpants''.
** Was that before or after one of the protagonists' great-grandmothers [[NeverMessWithGranny became a superhero]]?
* One KenanAndKel book has Kel being insulted at basketball with the phrase, "My dog is better than you." [[CloudCuckoolander Kel]], though, is too amazed at the thought of a basketball-playing dog to be insulted, however, and the bully has to explain the taunt.
* In How to be a Pirate, the sadistic teacher is screaming at his students, ''"C'MON, MY GRANNY COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT, AND SHE'S 103 AND ONLY GOT ONE LEG!"'' The great thing is, his kickass granny ''really can''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* The exchange in ''[[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Star Trek]]'' where Scotty tells Chekov that Scotch Whisky is a man's drink, and Chekov replies that it was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.
* In the ''QuantumLeap'' episode "Running for Honor," Sam leaps into a track runner, and fails to live up to the guy's previous performance:
-->'''Sam:''' ''(looking at his time)'' Is that good?\\
'''Coach:''' Yeah, that's great. If you're my grandmother!
* In ''TheBigBangTheory'':
-->'''Stuart:''' Hey Sheldon, ready for bowling tonight?\\
'''Sheldon:''' Oh yes. I've even prepared some trash-talk for the occasion. You bowl like your momma! Unless your mother bowls well. In that case you bowl nothing like her.
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' episode ''Faith, Hope and Trick''
-->'''Faith''': My dead mother hits harder than that!
* In ''Series/StargateAtlantis'' the only reason John Sheppard knows Rodney [=McKay=] ''has'' a sister is because he uses this trope. After they reconcile, he switches out his sister for something even more demeaning: "My four year old niece can do better than you!"
** Plus after meeting her, they all realize she is probably even ''smarter''than he is, so he can't use it effectively anymore.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sport]]
* Following a tour of Pakistan in the 80s, English {{Cricket}}er Ian Botham remarked, "Pakistan is the kind of country every man should send his mother-in-law to for a month, all expenses paid." Payback came in the 1992 World Cup final between England and Pakistan, where, after dismissing Botham, Imran Khan asked, "Why don't you send your mother-in-law out to bat? Surely she can't do much worse."
* Also something of a meme involving Geoffrey Boycott, who often says things to the effect of "My mum could bat on this pitch".
* Seven-foot-seven basketball player Manute Bol was a good shot-blocker but a poor scorer (he actually had more career blocks than ''points''). When he was traded to the 76ers he was averaging 1.9 points a game. Charles Barkley, then the best player on the team, said, "My grandma could score two points a game, as long as she wasn't double-teamed."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* Appears in the "sports" game ''ChaosLeague'' as an insult by one of the two guys commenting the game.
* Variant: In ''WarriorsOrochi'', BadassGrandpa Shibata Katsuie occasionally taunts "You can't outfight ''my corpse''!"
* Insult Arm-Wrestling in ''VideoGame/EscapeFromMonkeyIsland'' features this potential exchange:
-->"My ninety-eight-year-old grandmother has bigger arms than you."\\
"Ungh... Yeah, but we both got better bladder control than you do."
** In the same game, after Guybrush passes the medical exam for the diving competition, he's told, "You'd have to be a palsy ridden grandmother to fail." Indeed, when you show your certificate to Marco, he tells you "I've seen palsy-ridden grandmothers with better scores than yours!"
** Also, Guybrush has a rather ingenious one near the end of ''VideoGame/TalesOfMonkeyIsland Chapter 2: The Siege of Spinner Cay'', only "grandma" is replaced with "possibly dead mother":
--->'''Guybrush:''' My possibly dead mother could shoot a cannon better than you can!
* In ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion'', if the player chooses to fight in the arena, one of the [=NPCs=] informs your character, "My grandma can beat you and she's dead!"
* In ''VideoGame/UltimateSpiderMan'', there's a level where the player controls Venom who has been unleashed on Manhattan to chase down Electro as part of a demonstration of Venom's abilities. Expect Electro to constantly pelt you with lame insults if you're even ten yards behind him, including "My grandma can move faster than you!" And no, there is no way to prevent hearing this a dozen times except to turn off the sound.
* Obscure Genesis game ''Ex-Mutants'' does this if you die too many times in the auto-scrolling levels. If you play as one character, he says "my grandmother could do better", and if you play as the other, she says "[the first character's] grandmother could do better".
* The response that you will get in ''VideoGame/{{Alundra 2}}'''s IndyEscape minigame if you didn't score enough points.
* When missing a shot in [[BackyardSports Backyard Basketball 2004]], Barry Dejay sometimes says: "My grandma can shoot better than that. And she's got cataracts."
* An available audio taunt in VideoGame/AgeOfEmpiresII is "My granny can siege better than that."
* While Silent Thunder: A-10 Tank Killer II's Commander Garrett doesn't say it, botching a mission may result in the dialogue box reading, "my four year-old could have done better than that".
* "My granny shoots better than you!" is one of several "Taunt Player" voice options in VideoGame/KillingFloor.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'', during the quest to return to Sanctuary and planting a fast travel station in Overlook, [[BigBad Handsome Jack]] sends robots to try and stop you. Most players won't experience this (unless you're soloing on True Vault Hunter Mode with sub-par weapons, or have an extremely bad group), but if the robots repeatedly interrupt/destroy the beacon, Jack will chime in, commenting on how bad you are and wonder how you can defeat him if you can't even protect a little beacon.
** He delivers a similar taunt if you fail to rescue Roland from the Bloodshot Ramparts before the drop barge arrives to take him to the Hyperion Friendship Gulag.
** Near the beginning of Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage, Mr. Torgue comments that the Vault Hunter, having just signed up for his InevitableTournament, is currently ranked lower than his grandma, but higher than the poor sod she ''gummed to death''. "''IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS!''"
*** Later DLC proves that this isn't just a weird comment on Mr. Torgue's part. His grandma is still alive, and it turns out he wasn't exaggerating much about her. She mentions a creature she calls a 'whale squid,' which from its description sounds surprisingly similar to a Thresher, and notes that she nearly killed it by herself. The only reason she didn't kill it was because the young Mr. Torgue was crying and begging her to spare it. She even brings up Terramorphous as a comparison. Taken all together, this means she ''soloed a raid boss.'' NeverMessWithGranny!
* When Chuck administers Zombrex to [[spoiler:Tyrone "TK" King]] in ''VideoGame/DeadRising2'', he mocks the recipient's reaction with "My daughter takes this better than you." (As ''Case Zero'' shows us, though, it took Katey three years before she got used to it.)
* ''LegoStarWars''. Chewie is flying the Falcon through an asteroid field, his violent maneuvers sending [=C3PO=] hurling about the cabin, shouting "My motherboard... my [[IncrediblyLamePun ''grandmother'' board]] could fly better than you!"
* One of Dan's victory quotes in ''VideoGame/StreetFighterAlpha 2'' is "My father could beat you, and he's dead!"
* One of Isabela's mid-fight quotes in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'' is "You hit like my grandmother!" Another version - "You hit like an [[FrenchJerk Orlesian dandy!]]"
* ''InjusticeGodsAmongUs'', in a clash between Harley Quinn and Nightwing, Harley claims Nightwing fights like her grandma, Nightwing chuckles and questions that Quinn fought her grandmother.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* In ''Webcomic/HarkAVagrant'', Nelson is [[http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=164 pretty sure his grandmother kisses better than Hardy]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* Bart and Lisa of ''TheSimpsons'' used a variant of this on the players when they were at a minor league baseball game:
-->'''Bart:''' You throw like my sister!\\
'''Lisa:''' Yeah! You throw like me!
** Nelson (on some topic the troper doesn't remember) said his stroke-suffering grandmother could do better. Then a classmate asked how she was and he thanked the question and said she was feeling better.
* In ''{{Futurama}}'', "The Beast with a Billion Backs":
-->'''Leela:''' Come on, Bender! Your Grandmother could push harder then that.\\
'''Bender:''' No crap! My Grandmother was a bulldozer!
* In the ''RockosModernLife'' episode "Carnival Knowledge" Rocko is having a difficult time knocking down the rigged bottles at the carnival booth, Slippy the sleazy owner says "oh come on my grandmother can throw better than that and she knocks 'em down no problem".
* In the MusicalEpisode of ''{{Daria}}'', Kevin (The QB) is trying to break down a door:
-->'''Daria:''' My great aunt could do better, and she's dead.
* ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'': After one heck of a beating, John refuses to stay down and throws out this trope despite having trouble getting the words out:
-->'''[[ComicBook/GreenLantern John Stewart]]:''' That all you got? My grandma hits harder than that!
* ''AmericanDragonJakeLong'': While watching an Ogre Bowl game, Fu Dog said his grandmother could play better than that and she was 1400 years old. Said grandmother, who was also at the stadium watching the game, told him she's [[Really700YearsOld ''only'' 1392 years old]].
* ''WesternAnimation/ExtremeGhostbusters'': An old friend of Garrett was playing basketball and teasing his adversary with the 'grandma can play better' insult. Soon after the adversary replied that she was not there, Garrett was passing by and his friend told the adversary Garrett could play better. Since Garrett was wheel-chair bound, the adversary accepted the challenge. [[HandicappedBadass Garrett]] won.
* In an episode of ''CatDog'', Catdog and the Greaser Hounds end up in prison, and are challenged to win their freedom by running an obstacle course as a team. Cat badgers the Greasers into overcoming the last obstacle with taunts that include "My grandmother could run faster than you, and she's a ''cat''!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]
* In one ''Ulpan Or'' Hebrew lesson, the books instructs the student in how to say "My grandmother drives better than you!" in a traffic jam/road rage situation. Made even funnier if you are familiar with [[{{Drives Like Crazy}} Israeli drivers]].
* Anyone who's been in the military will have heard this at least once from their Drill Sergeant/Instructor.
[[/folder]]

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