->''"Yeah, this is a story told from a first-person narrative, but I just happen to be one of those omniscient, third-person narrators. Now isn't that cool? (However, your answer is probably an unimpressed 'no'.)"''
-->--[[spoiler: '''The narrator''']], opening paragraph.

->''"This has got to be the dumbest thing you've ever done. And that's saying a lot."''
-->--The Author's friend, upon reading this page.

A fantasy/parody WebOriginal SerialNovel on fictionpress.com written by a long-time TVTropes lurker. While it only has twenty-nine chapters so far, it is [[Administrivia/ThereIsNoSuchThingAsNotability noteworthy]] for the extensive use of tropes taken directly from [[HomePage this wiki]]. Makes numerous {{Shout Out}}s to Franchise/HarryPotter, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', and ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'', and many more franchises.

The story revolves around a perfectly normal boy named Tagino Storp. One day, an [[OurAngelsAreDifferent angel]] named Arthur Avatar from another dimension accidentally opens a portal in his school. Tagino is then recruited by Arthur in the mission to destroy anything that might anger the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Reader]] god, including {{Deus Ex Machina}}s, {{Monsters of the Week}}, and the worst of them all, {{Mary Sue}}s.

Contains high concentrations of {{Invoked Trope}}s, {{Parodied Trope}}s and {{Lampshade Hanging}}. There is also a narrator, who is fully aware of being in a webpage and talks directly to the reader.

Can be found [[http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2841020/1/Metafictionized_Phlebotinum_Poisoning here]].

[[DeadFic Currently indefinitely postponed.]]
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!!This Web Original contains examples of:
* ActionGirl - Levt, Rite, Teres and Fran
* AppliedPhlebotinum - ''Literal'' applied Phlebotinum. Tagino eats a Phlebotinum-filled ''gummy bear'' given to him by Arthur, which gives him the {{Flying Brick}} set of powers, minus flight. According to Ed, Phlebotinum can absorb and release "Phlebotinous energy", which allows magic and other superhuman feats to be performed.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking - Professor Dunderbore still hangs onto a grudge against Lord Baldydork even after sixty years...for stealing his lollipop when they were children.
* AuthorAvatar - [[spoiler:Arthur]]
* {{BFG}} - Pallaher's Phlebotinum cannon
* {{BFS}} - Arthur's and Teres's swords, plus the one Baldydork gives Tagino in chapter 14.
* BadassArmy - ironically called the [[spoiler: {{Redshirts}}]]
* BadassLongcoat - Arthur
* BadassTeacher - [[InvertedTrope Inverted]]. The Pigpimples staff actually fight ''against'' their students, who are under the [[MarySue Sue]]'s mind control.
* BeamOWar
* Bishonen - Etha and Light.
* BrainwashedAndCrazy - The Pigpimples students, and Tagino in chapter 14.
* BreathWeapon - Done hilariously by Edvard using his BishieSparkle against a horde of MarySue, complete with Shoop Da Whoop.
* BoundAndGagged - Done in a particularly {{fanservice}}y way to none other than [[MsFanservice Fran]].
* TheChosenOne - Mentioned by the characters. Turns out to be an Expy of Franchise/HarryPotter and Ron Weasley mashed into one person.
* CurbStompBattle - Loads.
* DarkActionGirl - Enoby and Willow.
* DeusExMachina - PlayedForLaughs
* EvilOverlordList - Mentioned and followed by [[BigBad Lord Baldydork]], who's DangerouslyGenreSavvy.
* EvilTowerOfOminousness - Edvard's fortress looks like this, but he's (supposedly) a good guy.
* Expy - [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edvard Sparkleface]], [[Literature/HarryPotter Arry Fotter and Lord Baldydork]]. [[MyImmortal Enoby]], too. Now we have Light, who's specifically described as close to being one of a [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII "silver-haired, flowergirl-stabbing, Eastern RPG villain"]]. Guess who.
* FirstLastKiss - [[spoiler:Ed when Arthur dies--or what seems like it. One sentence after he closes his eyes we hear him shouting "Yes!" and revealing "getting killed" was all a part of a plan to get Ed to kiss him for the first time in five thousand years.]]
* FunWithAcronyms - [[LampshadeHanging P.L.O.T.]] stands for [[AppliedPhlebotinum Phlebotinous]] Linearly Oriented Timeline.
* AGodIsYou - [[spoiler:The Reader, possibly.]]
* {{Golem}} - Comes in metal, wood, rock and Jell-o flavors. One of them is particularly [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]].
* GoodWingsEvilWings - The angels. So far they are all good.
* {{Hammerspace}} - Played straight with P.L.O.T. hole lockers.
* HaveYouSeenMyGod - The Writer
* HealingHands - Arthur and probably Tagino.
* HyperspaceMallet - Done to Tagino by Brooks, after the former calls the latter old.
* IncrediblyLamePun - Arthur Avatar.
* InstantExpert - Tagino literally becomes one with Phlebotinum magic within a ''millisecond'', though it's somewhat [[JustifiedTrope justified]] because he actually took training in a room at the center of the universe where time goes extremely slowly.
* KiAttacks
* LadyOfWar - Ed, supposedly.
* LampshadeHanging - Oh, where to start...
* LivingForeverIsAwesome - Apparently that's what Arthur thinks. Ed and Tha, on the other hand...
* LukeIAmYourFather - Done by Lord Baldydork to Tagino. [[spoiler:Turns out to be a distraction for Willow to brainwash him.]]
* MarySue - [[InvokedTrope Deliberately invoked]][=/=][[ParodiedTrope Parodied]][=/=]PlayedForLaughs. Sues are highly dangerous because they can anger the Reader very quickly, according to Arthur.
-->''"Sues: Failed creations of the Writer (aka the Creator), Sues are seemingly perfect in every aspect. Angers the Reader very quickly and effectively. Because of their highly dangerous nature, destroy on sight. Distinguishable by strange hairstyles and/or hair color. "''
-->--[[LampshadeHanging Arthur Avatar's Big List of Things That Might Piss Off the Reader]]
** CommonMarySueTraits - Intentionally invoked. It appears that the author have taken the descriptions of the first 'Sue' to appear in the story from the {{Common Mary Sue Traits}} page.
-->''"[[CommonMarySueTraits She had blue hair of the color of a clear sky, lined with black streaks like melted darkness. Her large, almond shaped eyes were silver colored, a perfect match for her perfectly perfect face. Her lips were the color of freshly-picked rose petals, and shimmered like rubies of the finest quality. There was an otherworldly, wonderful aroma about her that did not come with shampoo or perfume. She wore a revealing blouse made of the best silk and embroided with silver threads, along with a perfectly matching miniskirt. Her legs were wrapped in blue fishnets that matched her hair. If Fran was beautiful, then she was gorgeous. Her figure was so delicate, so waif-like, yet she had supple, D-cup breasts. She radiated a perfect aura of perfect perfection whereever she went.]] Her beautiful neck was adorned with a silver necklace embedded with the some of the best sapphire found on the planet, one of them the size of a chicken egg that glowed with magical (not Phlebotinous) energy. Earrings of the finest silver hand from her sensual ears. (If I had a lung, I would be gasping for air right now.) [[PuritySue A pure virgin of the purest purity]], [[FriendToAllLivingThings she was a friend to all living things]]. In her right hand she held a beautifully crafted [[KatanasAreJustBetter katana]] decorated with the emblem of a serpentine dragon made of platinum, with an air of grace that surpassed all other. Her name was—If I had a lung, I would be inhaling, inhaling deeply—[[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign Hikari]] [[OverlyLongName Sapphyre Trinity Blyss Seafoam Venustus]]. "''
-->--the narrator
** [[FanFic/MyImmortal Ebony]] also makes an appearance as the ultimate Sue.
* MediumAwareness - The narrator.
* {{Mooks}} - Strangely un-mookish ones.
* MsFanservice - Fran. Just look at her name.
* OurAngelsAreDifferent - The angels, duh.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent
* PlotArmor - [[InvokedTrope Deliberately invoked]]/Played straight. Explained as the P.L.O.T. bending time and space around a person in order to protect them. Tagino has a high reading, apparently.
* Plot Hole - Deliberately invoked/parodied. P.L.O.T. holes, to be exact. Also doubles as the {{Portal Network}}.
* PortalCut - Happens to Tagino once in the fourth chapter. He also kills Hikari with this by accident.
* PortalNetwork - The P.L.O.T. holes count.
* RuleOfCool - Some of the Elite Redshirts' weapons, including a pole-chainsaw with a huge bayonet an the other end.
* RuleOfSexy - A female Redshirt is described as "skimpily dressed [[LampshadeHanging against all common sense and sensibility]]" during the fireworks display at Yitic-Latipac.
* SamusIsAGirl - Subverted. When Baldydork's helmet came off, this trope was explicitly mentioned.
* SeenItAll - Ed sort of qualifies.
* ShoutOut - [[Franchise/HarryPotter Pigpimples Academy of Sorceresscraft and Sorcery]], run by [[Literature/HarryPotter Professor Dunderbore]]. Sound familiar to you? Also, the "ultimate Mary Sue" [[MyImmortal calls herself "ENOBY"]].
** [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edvard Sparkleface]]. His face is so shiny that he needs a paper bag to hide it.
** The "Blatant Crossover" chapters are made of these, involving the characters crossing over into worlds wearing with [[StarWars iconic]] [[FinalFantasyVII characters]] making {{Lawyer Friendly Cameo}}s.
* SignificantAnagram - [[TheHero Tagino Storp]] and [[MsFanservice Fran Sevice]], among others.
* SlidingScaleOfFourthWallHardness - ''Varies''. Depends on the narrator's mood, it can go from Visible Fourth Wall to Playing with the Fourth Wall.
* SpeechImpediment - Arthur, who has a lisp. [[spoiler: Turns out to be a part of his ObfuscatingStupidity.]]
* SummonMagic - PlayedForLaughs with Arthur, who (at first unsuccessfully) summons a horde of harmless giant coakroaches.
* ThatCameOutWrong
-->''"“Can’t.” “Harder!”“Still can’t!”“Harder!” awkward silence followed. "''
-->--Arthur and Tagino, as Arthur teaches Tagino how to control Phlebotinum with his mind.
-->''"“I do not acshept virgin shacrificesh! … Stop what you’re doing! I meant I don’t acshept human shacrificesh, virgin or not!” "''
-->--Arthur, to his worshippers offering him a virgin sacrfice.
* TinTyrant - Lord Baldydork
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