%% Image selected per Image Pickin' thread: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1304991684029313200
%% Please do not change or remove without starting a new thread.
[[quoteright:308:[[WesternAnimation/HeyArnold http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/arnoldpass_2707.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:308:Well, hard to refute that...]]
->'''Monty:''' Dad, is there a word to describe answers that are ''completely correct'' but ''entirely useless'' under the circumstances?\\
'''Prof. Jones:''' Yes, yes there is.
-->-- ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic''

If you ask someone a question, and he gives you an entirely accurate answer that is of no practical use whatsoever, he has just given you a [[TitleDrop Mathematician's Answer]].

A common form of giving a Mathematician's Answer is to fully evaluate the logic of the question and give a logically correct answer. Such a response may prove confusing for someone who interpreted what they said colloquially.

Examples include questions involving "can you do ''[favor]''...?" being interpreted as a hypothetical "are you ''capable of'' doing ''[favor]''?" instead of its more common intent as a request to actually do it (this is a favorite of English teachers and {{Grammar Nazi}}s, frequently going through something similar to "Can I come in?" "I don't know, ''can you''?" "Uh, '''may''' I come in?") Another common form is when a character is asked "Is it A or B?" they will respond, "Yes" as if it were a question of Boolean logic rather than clarifying which specific one is the case (though this can also occur if the responder does not know the answer, or considers both answers correct. This crops up a lot in RealLife, especially in the world of computers.) A third variant is when a question beginning with "How" (being asked in the sense of "By what means does X occur?") is answered with an adverb or adverbial phrase (responding as if the question had been "In what manner does X occur?"). For example: "How did you get past the guards?" "With difficulty."

Can be used by characters for reasons ranging from [[PlayedForLaughs snarky humor]] to intentional obfuscation to being extremely LiteralMinded -- AI and other {{Literal Genie}}s by their nature are very likely to fall into the last category.

Can overlap with ShapedLikeItself when the question is seeking a description, and with CaptainObvious, as these answers tend to be self-evident for anyone with a brain. Usually doubles as a CrypticallyUnhelpfulAnswer, when the "mathematician" is deliberately trying to confound the questioner. Compare NonAnswer, which is a vague "answer" which does not answer the question at all. Mildly related to WhatsAHenway and NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion. And don't forget that the person giving the Mathematician's Answer is [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} "technically correct... the best kind of correct."]]

The trope name comes from a family of jokes about the supposed habit of mathematicians to make unhelpful answers. For example: a man in a hot-air balloon asked someone where he was. "You're in a balloon," he answered. The rider concluded that it was a mathematician that said that, because the answer was perfectly correct and completely useless. (The joke sometimes continues with the mathematician deducing the man in the balloon is a manager, because he has risen to his position with a lot of hot air, has no idea where he is or where he is going, and yet claims this is the fault of the innocent person standing below him.)

AllOfThem is a subtrope that's its own {{Stock Phrase|s}}. See also WhatsAHenway. Contrast ImpliedAnswer when the question isn't answered at all, and the meaning is quite clear. Often the answer is TriviallyObvious. Related to RhetoricalQuestionBlunder: the person who was asked gives a logical answer that ruins the spirit of the question.

Compare with NonAnswer.



* A commercial for Lyrica begins with a voiceover along the lines of: "I was wondering why I had muscle pain, so I asked my doctor. It turns out, connected to muscles are nerves which send pain messages to the brain."
** Also a CaptainObvious moment. "Nerves send pain messages to the brain?! [[SarcasmMode Noooo]]!"
** This may be a rare example of an unintentional Mathematician's Answer. The idea could be to inform the audience that pain doesn't ''just'' exist in the pained part of the body, and that not all treatment of pain actually has to directly affect the pained part (something which may seem obvious to most people -- especially if you know about phantom pain -- but not to everyone).
* A beer commercial has a guy describe something as beautiful, refreshing, etc. as he grabs a beer near a woman. The woman asks him if he's describing the beer or her; his reply is, "Yes."
* A commercial for Grey Poupon mustard has one Rolls-Royce pull up to another, and they both roll down their windows. One man asks, "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" The other replies, "But of course!" -- then signals his chauffeur to drive away.
* A Nike "Find Your Greatness" spot goes something like this: "Is it speed or endurance? Does it happen in two hours or four or six? Is it finishing strong or barely finishing? Yes." "It" is ostensibly greatness.
* A series of ads for AT&T feature a man talking to young children. Here's one of the exchanges:
--> '''Man''': Are you competing for cutest kid right now?
--> '''Girl''': Yes.
--> '''Man''': What place are you in?
--> '''Girl''': Kindergarten.
--> '''Man''': That's adorable.
* A board advertisement for UsefulNotes/McDonalds late-night menu has this gem: "Late dinner or breakfast? Yes."
* Pork Farm pork pies once had this in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN3B1wAiVtU an advert]]. Paraphrased:
--> '''Yokel 1''': Oi bets you Oi can tell the difference between a Pork Farm pork pie and another pork pie wearing a bloindfold.
--> '''Yokel 2''': Arr, go on then.
--> '''Yokel 1''': Well, this be a Pork Farm pork pie... And this be another pork pie wearing a bloindfold.

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Manga/KenichiTheMightiestDisciple'' example!
--> '''Random guy on the beach:''' Hey, beautiful, where are you from?
--> '''[[NoSocialSkills Shigure]]:''' My... home.
* From the English dub of ''Anime/LupinIII'':
--> '''Lupin:''' Which direction do you think the helicopter will be coming from?
--> '''Goemon:''' Up.
* ''Manga/RurouniKenshin'' has one of these during the Jinchu Arc:
-->'''Chou:''' So who are we goin' after? The Boss? Or Battousai? \\
'''Saito:''' Yes.
* ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'': When a very young Uryuu asks his father why he hates being a Quincy, Ryuuken replies "because there's no money in it", leaving Uryuu so shocked and troubled that he runs to his grandfather in tears, asking if Ryuuken's answer is a truth or lie. Souken points out that, because Ryuuken has a family to raise, it can be viewed as truthful. In fact, Ryuuken is telling the truth from any angle - being Quincy never pays the bills regardless of whether or not there's a family to raise. However, Uryuu wants to know why Ryuuken hates being a Quincy, yet neither Ryuuken nor Souken actually answer that question. They both sidestep it completely.
* Jonah in ''Manga/{{Jormungand}}'' is awful at math, so when he's basically asked 22 times 3 while the Logistics crew are at an airport, he answers "A bunch."
* ''Manga/FairyTail'':
-->'''Lucy:''' What the heck is that!?\\
'''Virgo:''' An octopus tentacle.
* This exchange in ''LightNovel/SuzumiyaHaruhi'', when the group encounters a ''giant'' cricket in an alternate dimension:
-->'''Kyon''': What is that!?\\
'''Koizumi''': A camel cricket.\\
'''Kyon''': Got it. Thanks, CaptainObvious.

[[folder:Audio Play]]
* In ''AudioPlay/IThinkWereAllBozosOnThisBus'', when the Clem-clone asks "How are you, Doctor?" Dr. Memory replies in a flat monotone: "The Doctor is on."
* In Radio/TheGoonShow episode, "The Lost Emperor", young Neddie Seagoon is working in the Victoria and Albert Museum late at night when Moriarty and Grytpype come in and pull a gun on him.
--> '''Grytpype:''' Draw the curtain Moriarty. Now then is there anyone else in the building apart from you?
--> '''Seagoon:''' Yes, two others.
--> '''Grytpype:''' What are they doing?
--> '''Seagoon:''' Holding me up with a pistol.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* From ''Comicbook/XStatix'': "He's... "connecting" in some way to what he's lost." "Is that a good or bad thing?" "Yes."
* Comicbook/LuckyLuke's horse can speak, but seeing as it's a horse, even Lucky Luke is baffled when he sees it on the riverbank, fishing.
--> '''Lucky Luke:''' How did you get the bait on the hook?
--> '''Jolly Jumper:''' With disgust, just like everybody else.
* In one ''Big Bang Comics'' story, the Quizmaster is trying to get the Knight Watchman to reveal his secret identity -- by having him play 20 questions while hooked up to a lie detector, and killing his sidekick Kid Galahad if he lies! For his first question, he asks the Watchman whom he would be if he weren't wearing his costume. The Watchman replies "I can truthfully say that I would still be myself!"
** The Watchman tries to give a similar answer to the question "Who is Kid Galahad, in reality?"; he manages to avoid the answer the Quizmaster wanted, but is forced to give away ''some'' information: "In all earnestness I'll have to tell you that he's really my nephew!" He had a similar smartass answer for the question "What are your secret identities?", but Kid Galahad escaped and took the Quizmaster out of commission before he could give it.
* From ''SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadpool}}'' [[https://marvel.com/digitalcomics/view.htm?iid=20152 Vol. 2 #34]]:
-->'''Deadpool:''' I just figured out how to kill this "Id" thing.
-->'''Kak:''' How?
-->'''Deadpool:''' With my ''brain''. Duh.
* In the ''ComicBook/CivilWar'' issues of ''Amazing Spider-Man'', Comicbook/IronMan gives Franchise/SpiderMan [[DiscussedTrope a lecture about using this kind of answer]] when dealing with lawyers, government entities, and other officials.
* ''Comicbook/SuicideSquad'' #16
-->'''Vixen''': Where's the Colonel?
-->'''Bronze Tiger''': With Shade.
-->'''Vixen''': Where's Shade?
-->'''Bronze Tiger''': With the Colonel.
-->'''Vixen''': [[ParentheticalSwearing How zen.]]
* In Part 7 of ''ComicBook/SonicTheHedgehogMegaManWorldsCollide'', Orbot informs Drs. Eggman and Wily that they've lost Shadow Man:
-->'''Dr. Eggman''': Wait, my Shadow Man (the roboticized version of Shadow the Hedgehog) or your Shadow Man (the ''VideoGame/MegaMan3'' boss)?
-->'''Orbot''': Yes.
-->''(Dr. Eggman [[DopeSlap slaps]] Orbot)''
* In Comicbook/TheAvengers and ''Comicbook/TheInfinityGauntlet'', after Comicbook/TheMightyThor points out how Comicbook/{{Hawkeye}}'s arrows would be nothing more than an annoying trifle to the android that copied his Asgardian strength, Hawkeye tells ComicBook/ScarletWitch to prepare a hex attack. When Wanda asks if he wanted her to attack the android or Thor, Hawkeye simply says "Yes."
* In an issue of the ''{{WesternAnimation/Animaniacs}}'' ComicBookAdaptation, Yakko takes things in this direction when he and his sibs are being interviewed on a TV talk show.
-->'''Reporter:''' Can I talk to you first, Yakko?
-->'''Yakko:''' I don't know, can you?
-->'''Reporter:''' Uh, tell us about some of your outrageous exploits.
-->'''Yakko:''' I don't have any ex-ploits. [[{{Pun}} All of my ploits are still ploits!]]
-->'''Reporter:''' No, no! Tell us what you've been doing.
-->'''Yakko:''' Well, [[ShapedLikeItself I've been talking to you]].
* In issue 3 of ''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard'', when the title character appears at a speed-date dressed like their usual self, the woman sitting across from them asks if they're dressed for a con(vention). Their response? "There's always a con going on somewhere."
** Issue 5 has the Loki of a possible future answer this to a question regarding what happens to Midgard: "T'was governed most perfectly. By my reckoning." Later it turned out that ''they'' are ruling Earth in that timeline. [[spoiler:They also happened to kill off every living being on the planet just to spite Thor.]] Well, no incarnation of Loki was ever humble.
** This trope is pretty much Loki's most benign setting; at least he isn't in a {{manipulati|veBastard}}ng mood (yet).
* In ''ComicBook/TheSandman'', when Gilbert is asked whether that is his first or last name, he replies "Indubitably. I could not have put it better myself." His full name is eventually revealed to be [[spoiler: Fiddler's Green]].
* In issue #1 of the comic adaptation of WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty, Rick invents a device that guarantees them infinite amounts of money in the stock market. Morty is unsure of whether or not it's legal, to which Rick responds with: "I'm completely aware of how legal it is, Morty!"

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* A minor RunningGag of [[LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya Yuki Nagato]] in ''Fanfic/KyonBigDamnHero'' ([[ItMakesSenseInContext examples make much more sense in context]]):
-->(Haruhi, Yuki and Kanae forcibly redress Kyon up into a costume)\\
'''Kyon''': Y...Yuki! Kanae-chan! Come on! H...help me- Waaah! Help me out!\\
'''Yuki''': I am helping.\\
--> '''Kyon''' (upon waking up to find Yuki waking up in his bed): "Um... Good morning?"\\
'''Yuki''': "Yes."\\
-->'''Haruhi:''' Now keep Kyon off me for a minute!\\
(Yuki immobilizes Kyon out of sheer embarrassment by hugging him tightly)\\
'''Haruhi:''' Done! (turns around, realization hits) Er, er, good work. Um, more emotion next time, Yuki, and then we'll have that sequel down solidly!\\
'''Yuki:''' Good.\\
'''Haruhi:''' That means you can let go!\\
'''Yuki:''' Understood.\\
'''Haruhi:''' That means ''let'' go!
* Done nicely in [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6209921/1/Harry_Dresden_Comedic_Shorts this]] fanfic of ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles''.
-->'''Murphy:''' Okay, first case. We have several murders to get to.
-->'''Dresden''': Solving or causing?
-->'''Murphy''': ''(growling)'' Yes.
* In ''[[FanFic/TheNuptialverse Families]]'', most of the answers [[AncientKeeper the Keeper]] gives to Twilight are this. This is partially because she's not allowed to give straightforward answers, and partially because [[{{Troll}} it's fun]].
* ''WebAnimation/TurnaboutStorm'': After a ridiculously laconic testimony by one of the witnesses, [[Franchise/AceAttorney Phoenix]] struggles to get any useful information out of her. When he asks her about what she was doing near the crime scene in the first place, the prosecution interrupts:
-->'''[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Trixie]]:''' We already know what she was doing there. She was observing the crime.
* ''Fanfic/APosseAdEsse'', after SecretWeapon Dub gets himself in the shit:
--> '''[[VideoGame/DieAnstalt Dolly]]:''' Oh god, that's e'en worse. Dub, dae ye e'en remember whit ye are?
--> '''Dub:''' Yeah, I'm a turtle.
* In the ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'' fic ''[[https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10627271/1/Sailor-RWBY Sailor RWBY]]'', Ruby asks Weiss if she believes in Ruby as a leader. Weiss replies, "I believe that you have potential."
* ''Fanfic/TealovesSteamyAdventure'' uses this twice.
** As Tealove wonders what her new traveling companion, Minty, is:
-->"But what are you really?", asked Tealove. "Are you a ticket that can turn into a pony, or a pony that can turn into a ticket?"\\
"Yes, exactly!"
** In the cave troll's lair:
-->“Oaf? Oh, you mean the cave troll?” the white pony said. “Big Jim isn’t an oaf! He’s a real sweetheart. You just have to try to understand him.”\\
“GRUUUUUUUUUH,” Big Jim said. He scratched his armpit.\\
“Okay,” Tealove said. “Help us understand him. What did he just say?”\\
The white pony thought carefully, then answered, “He said, ‘Gruh.’”
* In an [[http://puzzle-dragon.tumblr.com/post/112269867819/so-this-is-a-thing-for-just-a-h3artbeat-away-to untitled]] ''Franchise/EverAfterHigh'' fic, Bunny and Alistair use this trope to flirt.
-->''"A kiss?" Alistair responds without a moment’s thought.\\
"Was that an answer or a question?" she teases, beaming up at him.\\
"Yes," he replies, "Was that a riddle or an invitation?"\\
"Yes," she whispers back.''
* Fanfic/SuperheroRPF has several, courtesy of Sassgardian aka [[spoiler:Loki]]:
-->'''Kate''': It's the horns. You look like you're either going for an evil Satanic sorcerer thing, or you're trying to make a very terrible pun about your current mood.\\
'''Sassgardian''': ''Well. Yes.''
** Or in an anonymous forum where Anon 1 is also presumably him when talking about [[FloatingContinent Asgardia]]:
-->'''Anon 1''': If they can figure out how to get into a city that sits twenty feet above the plain.\\
'''Anon 2''': alright. how do you get in then?\\
'''Anon 1''': ''Through the front door.''
* In Chapter 16 of ''HarryPotter'' fanfic "Yet Hope Still Remains", Cornelius Fudge tries to make Harry reveal the whereabouts of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Harry answers "Earth". Later in the chapter, Harry gives a more specific answer: Europe.

[[folder:Film - Animated]]
* The CGI film ''WesternAnimation/BeeMovie'' has a scene between a human woman and a talking bee:
-->'''Vanessa''': How did you learn to do that?\\
'''Barry B. Benson''': Do what?\\
'''Vanessa''': That, that... the talking thing?\\
'''Barry B. Benson''': Same way you did, I guess. Mama, dada, honey, you pick it up.
* In ''WesternAnimation/ShrekTheThird'', Pinocchio has a very confusing one in order to not lie to Prince Charming about where Shrek is. It involves ConfusingMultipleNegatives. Unfortunately, it gets ''so'' [[GoneHorriblyRight aggravatingly confusing]] that his allies crack and tell the truth.
* In ''[[WesternAnimation/MagicAdventuresOfMumfie Mumfie's Quest]]'', when the Secretary of Night asks for Mumfie's name, his answer is "Yes!". The Secretary asks what he means, and he says that he has a name, and gives the correct response.
* During the scene in ''Disney/MeetTheRobinsons'' where Bud and Lewis try to make their way back to the garage, they stumble upon a dog wearing spectacles.
-->'''Lewis:''' Why is your dog wearing glasses?\\
'''Bud:''' Oh, 'cause his insurance won't pay for contacts.

[[folder:Film - Live Action]]
* ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi'': "R2! What are you doing here?... Well, I can ''see'' you're serving drinks..."
* ''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack'':
--> '''C-3PO:''' Excuse me, sir. Might I inquire what's going on?\\
'''Han Solo:''' Why not?
* ''Film/CasinoRoyale2006'' "How did he die?" "Your contact? Not well."
* ''Film/GrossePointeBlank'': "I'm doin' a double shift, what's it look like?"
* ''Film/{{Airplane}}'' Does this a lot, mostly with "what is it?" questions.
** "There's been a little problem in the cockpit." "The cockpit? What is it?" "It's a room at the front of the plane where the pilot sits. But that's not important right now"
** "This woman has to be gotten to a hospital." "The hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients. But that's not important right now."
** "You got a letter from headquarters this morning." "What is it?" "It's a big building where generals meet. But that's not important right now."
** Asked for his name and position, Ted answers, "Ted Stryker. I'm sitting down, facing forward, but that's not important right now."
* ''Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}}:'' "Where do these stairs go?"... "They go up."
* In ''Film/ItsAWonderfulLife'', George asks the pregnant Mary, "Is it a boy or a girl?" Mary just nods enthusiastically.
* ''Franchise/ThePinkPanther''
** In the [[Film/ThePinkPanther2006 2006 movie]] starring Creator/SteveMartin, a reporter asks Inspector Clouseau if they (the police) know if the killer is a man or a woman. Clouseau's answer is: "Well of course I know that! What else is there, a kitten?"
*** Also, when he quotes someone about politics, Yvette asks him if he said it, meaning if he is the original author of the quote. Clouseau takes the question literally and, after bemusedly looking around for someone else, answers "Yes."
** In ''Film/TheReturnOfThePinkPanther'', Clouseau visits a town where he encounters this trope, twice. First he enters a taxi and says to the driver "Follow that car!" The cabbie promptly starts chasing the car... on foot! A minute or two later, Clouseau asks a passer-by for directions.
--->'''Clouseau''': Do you know the way to the Palace Hotel?
--->'''Passer-by''': Yes. (Continues on without giving an answer.)
** In ''Film/ThePinkPantherStrikesAgain,'' Clouseau enters an inn, sees a dog, and asks the innkeeper if his dog bites. The answer he gets is technically correct...
--->'''Clouseau''': I thought you said he does not bite!
--->'''Innkeeper''': That is not my dog.
* ''Film/ApocalypseNow''
-->'''Willard''': Do you know who's in command here?
-->'''Roach''': Yeah. ''[Walks off]''
* A particularly JustForFun/{{egregious}} example from ''Film/LuckyNumberSlevin'':
-->'''Slevin:''' I'm gonna say the same thing any man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or left.
-->'''Lindsey:''' What's that?
-->''[cuts to The Boss's penthouse]''
-->'''Slevin:''' Yes.
* ''Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan'': Although in this case Kirk quickly makes it obvious that he's just joking around.
--> '''Saavik:''' May I ask how you dealt with the test?
--> '''Kirk:''' You may ask.
* There's a fun Dennis Quaid moment in the underrated ''Film/UndercoverBlues'', when he and his super-spy wife, Kathleen Turner, are deliberately being obfuscating to the local police:
-->'''Lt. Sawyer''': Oh, cute baby! Boy or girl?\\
'''Jeff Blue''': Gosh, I hope so!
* ''Film/AHardDaysNight'': When Music/TheBeatles are being interviewed, many of their answers are like this:
-->'''Reporter 1:''' Tell me, um, how did you find America?
-->'''Music/JohnLennon:''' Turned left at Greenland.

-->'''Reporter 2:''' Has success changed your life?
-->'''Music/GeorgeHarrison:''' Yes.

-->'''Reporter 3:''' Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
-->'''Music/RingoStarr:''' Well this one has, y'know, stuck on good and proper now.

-->'''Reporter 4:''' What do you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
-->'''George:''' Arthur.

-->'''Reporter 3:''' What do you call that collar?
-->'''Ringo:''' Mmm... A collar.
* ''Film/TheATeam'':
-->'''Sosa:''' Gilbert, you've either deliberately aided and abetted a federal fugitive's escape, or you're the single dumbest human being I've ever come into contact with. Would you like to know which way I'm leaning?
-->'''Gilbert:''' Forward!
* ''Film/FromDuskTillDawn'':
-->'''Kate:''' Where are we going?
-->'''Richie:''' Mexico.
-->'''Kate:''' What's in Mexico?
-->'''Richie:''' Mexicans.
* ''Film/TheCountOfMonteCristo'': A rather dark variation
-->'''Mondego:''' How...?
-->'''Cristo:''' How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this moment? With pleasure.
* In the Creator/MarxBrothers' ''Film/DuckSoup'':
-->'''Prosecuter:''' Chicolini, when were you born?
-->'''Chico:''' I don't remember. I was only a little baby.
* Film/TheThreeStooges were quite fond of this:
** From "Shivering Sherlocks":
-->'''Police Captain:''' Have you any visible means of support?
-->'''Larry:''' Sure. I've got suspenders!
** From "Don't Throw That Knife", practicing taking census:
-->'''Moe:''' Where were you born, madam?
-->'''Shemp:''' In the hospital.
-->'''Moe:''' Hospital?
-->'''Shemp:''' Yes, I wanted to be near my mother!
* ''Film/AustinPowers: International Man of Mystery'', when Vanessa finds out just how Austin got plans from one of Dr. Evil's {{Femme Fatale}}s.
-->'''Vanessa:''' Did you use protection?
-->'''Austin:''' Of course, I have a 9 millimeter automatic.
* Done twice in a row in ''Film/TheCatInTheHat''.
-->'''Sally:''' Where did you come from?
-->'''The Cat:''' Hmm, how do I put this... when a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that-
-->'''Conrad:''' Oh no, no, no, no, no. Where did you ''come'' from?
-->'''The Cat:''' My place, where do you think? *laughs*
* In the ''[[Film/TheLittleRascals Our Gang]]'' short "School's Out" has several test answers taken from H.M. Walker's Vaudeville routine, many of which take this form.
** "Donald Haines, where is Washington?" "First in war, first in peace, and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers third in the American League]]."
** "Douglas Greer, what was Abraham Lincoln's mother's name?" "Mrs. Lincoln."
** "Buddy O'Donald, on Paul Revere's night ride, what did he say as he stopped his horse in front of colonial homes?" "He said, 'Whoa!'"
** "Bobby Malon, what was Nero doing while Rome burned?" "I don't know, but I think he should've been hauling water to the fire."
** "Jackie Cooper, who was ''Literature/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame''?" "[[Film/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame Lon Chaney]]."
* ''Film/SleepyHollow'':
-->'''Ichabod Crane:''' Katrina, why are you in my room?
-->'''Katrina Van Tassel:''' Because it is yours.
* When asked why he committed the eponymous crime in ''The Great Train Robbery'', Creator/SeanConnery's character says "[[CrowningMomentOfFunny I wanted the money]]."
* During an ObligatoryWarCrimeScene in ''Film/FullMetalJacket''
-->'''Joker''': How can you [[WouldNotShootACivilian shoot women and children]]?
-->'''Door Gunner''': Easy. You just don't {{lead|TheTarget}} 'em so much. (Laughing) Ain't war hell?
* In ''Film/SonsOfTheDesert'', [[Creator/LaurelAndHardy Stan and Ollie]] wouldn't get back home until they came up with a cover story for an escapade. When interrogated by cops about their places of residence, Ollie claimed to live at home and Stan said he was Ollie's next door neighbor. Stan, being Stan, told a really useful answer later.
* In ''{{Caddyshack}}'', Ty Webb gives a good one to Judge Smails after explaining that he doesn't play golf competitively:
-->'''Smails:''' Well, how do you measure yourself against the other golfers?
-->'''Ty:''' By height.
* At the beginning of ''Film/OceansEleven'', Danny Ocean is at his hearing to determine if he is fit to be released from prison.
-->'''Male Examiner:''' You have a history of arrests, but you have never been successfully charged. Is there a particular reason you chose to commit this crime, or a reason you simply got ''caught'' this time?
-->'''Danny:''' My wife left me. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
-->'''Female Examiner:''' If released, do you think you would fall into a similar pattern?
-->'''Danny:''' She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.
* ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}'' gives us this gem: [[Comicbook/IronMan Tony]] forgets to factor in [[Comicbook/CaptainAmerica Steve's]] FishOutOfTemporalWater issues while trying to fix the Helicarrier's busted engine, resulting in some sarcasm from Cap:
-->'''Tony:''' ''(from inside rotor)'' Okay, tell me what you see!
-->'''Steve:''' ''(staring at a bewilderingly high-tech panel)'' It seems to run on some form of electricity.
-->'''Tony:''' Well, you're not wrong...
* ''Film/TheAmericanPresident''
** President Shepherd, concerned his daughter Lucy isn't doing as well in social studies as she should, gives her an old textbook of his:
--->'''President Shepherd:''' Luce, take a look at this book. This is exciting stuff. It's about who we are and what we want. Read what it says on the first page.
--->'''Lucy Shepherd:''' "Property of Gilmore Junior High School."
--->'''President Shepherd:''' The ''next'' page, Luce.
** A variation later in the movie, when Shepherd meets lobbyist Sydney Ellen Wade for the first time, and they're in his office:
--->'''Sydney Ellen Wade:''' If you don't live up to the deal you just made, come New Hampshire, we're gonna go shopping for a new candidate. ''(walks toward the door)''
--->'''President Shepherd:''' You can't do that, Sydney.
--->'''Sydney:''' With all due respect, Mr. President, who's gonna stop me?
--->'''President Shepherd:''' Well, if you go through that door, the United States Secret Service. That's my private office. You need to go out that way.
* In ''Film/{{Eraser}}'', after John Kruger falls out of a plane and lands in a junkyard, a kid who watched him fall comes up to him.
-->'''Kruger:''' Where am I?
-->'''Kid:''' Earth. Welcome.
* ''Film/{{Snatch}}'' had this memorable exchange:
-->'''Customs Agent:''' Anything to declare?
-->'''Avi:''' Yeah. Don't go to England.
* ''Film/LaStrada''
--> '''Gelsomina''': Where are you from?\\
'''Zampanò''': My home town.\\
'''Gelsomina''': You don't talk like us. Where were you born?\\
'''Zampanò''': My father's house.
* ''Film/JurassicPark''.
-->'''Hammond:''' The attractions will be very popular with children.
-->'''Grant:''' And what are those?
-->'''Sattler:''' Small versions of adults, honey.
* ''Film/BigTroubleInLittleChina'':
-->'''Jack Burton:''' How did you get up there?
-->'''Egg Shen:''' Wasn't easy!
* ''Film/CitizenKane'':
--> '''Reporter:''' Mr. Kane, How did you find business conditions in Europe?
--> '''Kane:''' With great difficulty!
* ''Film/TheHungerGames'':
-->'''Caesar Flickerman''': So, Peeta, how are you finding the Capitol? And don't say "with a map".
* ''Film/HotFuzz'' has an example of an underaged drinker being far too clever for his own good.
--> '''Nick Angel:''' When's your birthday?
--> '''Kid:''' 22nd of February.
--> '''Angel:''' What year?
--> '''Kid:''' Every year.
--> '''Angel:''' [[GetOut Get out.]]
* In ''Film/SexyBeast'', the powerful {{gayngster}} Teddy Bass attends an orgy and notices another man, Harry, giving him a certain look.
-->'''Teddy:''' Men or women?
-->'''Harry:''' Oh... [[BiTheWay definitely]].
* From a trailer for the 2014 film remake of ''Theatre/{{Annie}}'':
-->'''Will Stacks:''' ''(after saving Annie from getting hit by a car)'' Why do you run like that?\\
'''Annie''': Gets me places faster.
* While having dinner at Film/TheGrandBudapestHotel, Mr. Moustafa lists what the requirements were for being Monsieur Gustave's "personal guest." They had to be: rich, old, insecure, vain, superficial, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers blonde]], needy.
-->'''Young Author:''' Why blonde?
-->'''Mr. Moustafa:''' Because they all were.
* One of God's conditions in ''Film/BruceAlmighty'' is "You can't mess with free will."
-->'''Bruce''': Uh-huh. ''({{beat}})'' Can I ask why?
-->'''God''': ''(gleefully)'' Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!
* ''Film/{{Wild}}'': Given by a smart-ass snowboarder when hiker Cheryl Strayed, who is struggling through the snow-covered Sierras, is trying to figure out if she is still on the Pacific Coast Trail.
--> '''Cheryl''': Where am I?\\
'''Snowboarder''': California.
* ''Invoked'' in ''Film/TheFront''. [[Creator/WoodyAllen Howard Prince]] is eventually brought before [[RedScare HUAC]]. Not wanting to name names, he instead gives responses that allowing him to appear cooperative without actually answering. [[spoiler: Unfortunately, they threaten to indict him on his history as a bookie, forcing him into making his brave stand at the climax]].
* ''Film/DumbAndDumber'' has Lloyd ask the waitress "What is the 'Soup Du jour'?" And she answers "The soup of the day."
* When Barbara the LittleStowaway is caught hiding in a cabin in ''Film/{{Stowaway}}'', the crewmember asks "What are you doing here?" and Barbara answers with "Hiding."
* ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay''
-->'''John Connor''': The police are here!
-->'''Sarah Connor''': How many?
-->'''John Connor''': All of them, I guess.
* In ''Film/BroadwayMelodyOf1936'', a theatrical producer, auditioning chorus girls, asks one how tall she is. She lifts a hand to the top of her head and says "About up to here."
* In the second ''Film/TheNakedGun'' film:
-->'''Frank:''' I told Jane to meet us at the hotel's rear entrance.
-->'''Ed:''' Where's that?
-->'''Frank:''' In the back.
* In the original ''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet'', Doris Walker takes a look at the employee card Kris Kringle had filled out when he was hired as Macy's Santa Claus. In response to "Age", he wrote, "Just as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth".

* Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks them, "Do you all want drinks?" The first says "I don't know," the second says "I don't know," the third says "Yes, please."
** Alternatively: "Do any of you want drinks?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "No."
* In order to test their reactions to emergencies, a man lights a small, harmless fire outside each of the offices of three men: an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician. First, the engineer sees his. He shrieks "Oh my God, a fire!" Then, he grabs a fire extinguisher and blasts the flames, putting the fire out completely but, in the process, damaging the office complex more than the fire could have possibly done. Next, the physicist sees his fire. He screams "Oh my God, a fire!" but then quickly calms down.[[labelnote:Note]] This joke was written by physicists.[[/labelnote]] He walks up to the fire, measures it, goes to the lab to run some tests, runs a computer simulation, samples the carpet and tests it for flammability, and then returns with a test tube of just the right amount of water, which he pours in the exact right spot, extinguishing the fire without a trace. Finally, the mathematician sees ''his'' fire. He screams "Oh my God, a fire!" and runs back into his office. He races to his desk, grabs a box of matches, lights one, blows it out, then returns to work, satisfied that the problem can be solved.
** A variant has the mathematician look at the fire, look at a bucket of water, then say with a satisfied nod, "A solution exists," and return to work.
** On similar lines: An engineer, an applied mathematician and a pure mathematician are asked how to put out a burning house. The engineer replies 'pour water on the fire'. The applied mathematician replies 'calculate how much water is needed to put it out', and the pure mathematician replies 'first light a match and throw it through the window, to make sure it is on fire. Then ask the applied mathematician.'
** A mathematician is given a kettle and asked to boil water. He fills it with water, plugs it in, and switches it on. He is then given the same task, but this time the kettle is already plugged in and full of water. He unplugs it and empties it, thus reducing it to a previously-solved problem.
** A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician saw two men entering a house and three men getting out. The physicist said, "The measurements are not correct." The biologist said, "They have reproduced." The mathematician said, "If exactly one person enters the house it will be empty again."
* According to a joke, a helicopter is lost in the fog and the pilot shows a sign to the people in the nearby skyscraper, asking them where he is. The answer: "You are in a helicopter." Ironically, the answer does prove useful, since a skyscraper filled with people who all play by this trope can only be the Microsoft tech support building.
** A man goes up in a hot air balloon. After a while, he drifts away from the right grounds, becoming lost. He worries about his plight and decides that the best way to return to the balloon grounds is to ask the next person he sees. Finally, he spots a hiker. He calls down, "Hey, where am I?" She waits for a while as the balloon starts to drift away, staring up at him. She remains silent until he believes that she hasn't heard him, then she yells, "You're in a balloon moving at 3.2 knots WNW (failing to account for the cross-breeze, which is 0.07 knots SE and increasing). Accounting for Doppler distortion, you..."\\
She goes on like this for several minutes. When she finishes the man yells down, "Hey, are you a mathematician?" \\
"Yes," she replies. "How'd you know?" \\
"Well, first of all, you took a while to answer. Furthermore, everything you said was absolutely correct. Lastly, it was all absolutely useless." He angrily continues to drift away. \\
"Hey!" she yells. \\
"What?!" \\
"Are you in management?"\\
He stares down in genuine surprise. "Yes. How'd you know?" \\
"Well, you got to where you are on a balloon of hot air. You don't know where you are or where you're going. You expect the people below you to solve your problems. Even though everything I told you was correct, you have no idea how to use it. Finally, even though your situation hasn't changed in the slightest, somehow you believe it's become ''my freaking fault!''"
*** A variation (often done with Sherlock and Watson in the balloon) has, after the mathematician's answer - this time given by a sheepherder - the person in the balloon (Sherlock) declare they're over Russia. The person on the ground gives an answer which is entirely correct and entirely useless and must therefore be a mathematician, and only Russia would have mathematicians herding sheep.
** The tech people have their own version of this joke:
-->'''Man in helicopter:''' Excuse me, where am I?
-->'''Passerby:''' You're in a helicopter about 20 ft. off the ground.
-->'''Man in helicopter:''' You must be in tech support.
-->'''Passerby:''' I am. How did you know?
-->'''Man in helicopter:''' Your answer was technically correct but completely useless.
-->'''Passerby:''' You must be a businessman.
-->'''Man in helicopter:''' I am. How did you know?
-->'''Passerby:''' Because you don't know where you are or where you need to go, but you expect me to be able to help. You're no worse off than you were before, but now you think it's my fault.
* There's a joke that goes like this:
-->'''Person A''': What does your dad do for a living?
-->'''Person B''': My dad's dead.
-->'''Person A''': Well, what did he do before he died?
-->'''Person B''': He sorta clutched at his chest and fell over.
* There's an old joke about asking for directions that goes along these lines:
-->'''Driver''': Excuse me sir, but does this road go to London? (Or the name of any place.)
-->'''Pedestrian''': This road, sir? No, sir. Tends to stay right where it is.
---> '''or:''' No, they keep it here and drive cars on it.
** Related joke
-->'''Tourist''': Excuse me, sir. If I go down the street and take a left, will the train station be there?
-->'''Local''': You know, the train station will be there even if you don't take a left.
** There's another old joke, where a tourist lost in New York asks a street musician for directions:
-->'''Tourist''': Excuse me, sir. How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
-->'''Musician''': Practice, man! Practice!
** And another
-->'''Person A''': Have you lived here all your life?
-->'''Person B''': Not yet.
** Yet another
-->'''Fat lady math teacher''': Jimmy, pay attention! How much consumption until I reach Buffalo?
-->'''Jimmy''': Let's say twenty pounds of feed.
** One more
-->'''Passenger:''' Does this bus go to Duluth?
-->'''Bus driver:''' No, this bus goes beep beep.
** And a more painful one
-->'''Hitchhiker''': Is the city far?
-->'''Driver''': No.
-->'''Hitchhiker''': May I get in your car?
-->'''Driver''': Yes.
-->Many hours pass by as they drive in silence.
-->'''Hitchhiker''': Is the city far?
-->'''Driver''': Yes, now it is.
* [[RuleOfThree An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician]] are on a train in Scotland. They see a black sheep, and the following exchange ensues:
-->'''Engineer''': Look, sheep in Scotland are black.
-->'''Physicist''': Well, all we know for sure is that some sheep in Scotland are black.
-->'''Mathematician''': All we can be sure of is that, in Scotland, there is at least one sheep that is black on at least one side.
* Or this joke (when sitting at the table): "Can I have the butter?" "Yes." "Can you pass it to me?" "Yes. ''(beat)'' What, now?"
* Some teachers are fond of using this when kids ask to go to the bathroom, especially when they say "can" (asking if they're physically capable) instead of "may" (asking for permission):
-->'''Student''': Mr. Smith, can I go to the bathroom?
-->'''Teacher''': I don't know, can ya? Sit down.
** There are rebuttals to this joke due to the prevalence of this by teachers and parents. One is to remind them that having the capacity to do so also requires their permission, so you are not capable of arriving at the bathroom if they deny you access. The other rebuttal uses word rules since the definition of "can" does allow for the original question to be correctly used.
--> "When I was using can I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that."
* Russian variation of the balloon joke: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, being drifted away in a hot air balloon, finally spot a cowherd below and ask him where they are.
--> You are in a hot air balloon.
--> Watson, we're in Russia.
--> But Holmes, how can you know that?
--> See, that man below is a mathematician. His answer is both correct and totally useless.
--> I see, but what has Russia to do with that?
--> Because only in Russia do they use mathematicians to herd cows!
* Watson and Holmes go camping. At three in the morning, Holmes wakes Watson.
--> Watson, look up. What can you deduce from what you see?
--> From the starry sky? Astronomically, there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What do you deduce, Holmes?
--> I deduce that you're an idiot, Watson. If we can see the stars, then our tent has been stolen!
* "When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive so I took her to a gas station."
* Someone waved at me in the street the other day. Then they said "I'm sorry I thought you were somebody else." I said, "I am."
* Then there's the one about a man in a motorboat, clearly lost, who comes alongside another man in a motorboat and yells "Which way is land?" The second man bends over his compass and map for a moment, calculating furiously, then calls to the first man "West by north by half a north!" The first man screams back "Don't get technical with me! Just ''point!''"
* Another old joke:
--> '''Customer:''' Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?
--> '''Waiter:''' I believe that's the backstroke, sir.
* There's a joke with more of a logician's bent: an omniscient being comes to Earth and tells the world that it will answer one question completely truthfully before disappearing forever. The world's philosophers, logicians and thinkers get together and discuss for a while, and announce that they've come up with the perfect question. They go before the omniscient being and ask it this question: "What is the ordered pair of the best possible question we can ask you, and its answer?" It responds, "That, and this." then disappears in a puff of logic.
* Another joke:
-->'''Q''' Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?\\
'''A''' At the bottom.
* Yet another joke:
-->'''Q''': Do you know what time it is?\\
'''A''': Yes.\\
'''Q''': Well, could you tell me what time it is?\\
'''A''': Yes.\\
'''Q''': ''Will'' you tell me what time it is?\\
'''A''': Nope.
* A woman asks her husband, a computer programmer, to go to the grocery store. She tells him to buy milk, and if they have eggs, to buy a dozen. He returns home with twelve gallons of milk and says, "They had eggs."
** She tries again the next week saying "Get a gallon of milk, and while you're there, get eggs." He never comes back.
* A programmer is going to sleep, but first puts two glasses on the nightstand. One is filled with water, in case he wants a drink in the middle of the night. The other is empty, in case he doesn't.
* Another one:
-->'''Q''': Hey, What's up?
-->'''A''': Birds. Clouds. Aircrafts. The Sky...
-->'''A''': It's a preposition.
-->'''A''': The direction away from the center of gravity of a celestial object.[[http://bash.org/?402026]]
* What is the definition of a bore? A man whom you ask "how you doing", and he starts answering.
* Still more jokes:
-->'''Waiter:''' How did you find the steak?\\
'''Diner:''' I pushed aside the potato and there it was.
* There is an old joke in the mathematics community that says that a logician is a guy who, when asked about his newborn child "is it a boy or a girl ?" answers "yes".

* In ''[[Literature/InheritanceCycle Eragon]]'', Brom and Eragon's [[EstablishingCharacterMoment first meeting]] with the witch Angela involves Mathematician answers as Brom successively asks her ''if'' she knows where the house of the person he is looking for is, and then ''would'' she tell him where it is, both her answers being in the affirmative. Brom and Eragon then stand there waiting until she looks up and tells them that, yes, she knows where the house is, and yes, she will tell them where it is, but they never directly asked her which house was the one they were looking for.
* In ''Literature/HaloTheFallOfReach'', Master Chief is testing the MJOLNIR armor with shields. His superior instructs him to count to ten after he leaves the room before leaving himself. During that time, Chief's AI partner Cortana senses the presence of a squad of ODST Marines, and asks the Master Chief what his plan is for dealing with them. He responds, "I'm going to finish counting to ten".
* In the book ''Literature/TheWestingGame'', Jake Wexler lists his position as "standing or sitting when not lying down."
* Raymond Smullyan collected these:
** General asks computer a two-part question: "1. Will the rocket reach the moon? 2. Will the rocket return to Earth?" Computer answers "Yes." General asks, "Yes ''what''?" Computer answers "Yes, sir."
** "Where does this road go?" "It isn't going anywhere. It's just staying put."
** One Vermont farmer approaches another. "My horse is sick. What did you give your horse when it was sick?" "Hay and molasses." Two weeks later: "I gave my horse hay and molasses, and it died." "Yep, so did mine."
* The "Experimental Epistemologist" in Smullyan's 5000BC is full of this. When the completely disoriented protagonist asks the epistemologist "What should I do?", the response is "I have no idea what you SHOULD do. However, I have a friend who is an excellent moralist."
* In ''Literature/PsyChangeling'', being emotionless and thus ruled by logic, most Silent [[PsychicPowers Psys]] tend to give those.
* Literature/{{Discworld}}:
** From the novel ''Discworld/{{Hogfather}}'':
--->'''Susan:''' Are those mountains real or some sort of shadows?\\
'''Death:''' [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Yes ]]
** Similarly, when the Senior Wrangler suggests that the mistletoe, while being genuinely symbolic, is only symbolic of mistletoe:
--->'''Archchancellor:''' That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?\\
'''Senior Wrangler:''' (''desperately'') It could be both.\\
'''Archchancellor:''' And that comment is either very perceptive, or very trite.\\
'''Senior Wrangler:''' It could be bo--\\
'''Archchancellor:''' Don't push it, Senior Wrangler.
** And earlier in ''Hogfather'':
--->'''Lord Downey:''' Can I offer you a drink?\\
'''Auditor:''' Yes. [...] We judge you capable of performing that action.
** Susan again, in ''Discworld/ThiefOfTime'':
--->'''Susan:''' Are you [[spoiler:Lobsang]] or are you [[spoiler:Jeremy]]?\\
'''[[spoiler:Lobsang/Jeremy]]:''' Yes.\\
'''Susan:''' Yes, I walked into that. Are you [[spoiler:Lobsang]] ''and'' are you [[spoiler:Jeremy]]?\\
'''[[spoiler:Lobsang/Jeremy]]:''' Much closer. Yes.
** Rincewind and Eric, from ''Discworld/{{Eric}}!''
--->'''Rincewind:''' There's a door.\\
'''Eric:''' Where does it go?\\
'''Rincewind:''' It stays where it is, I think.
** Yet another one, sort of, from ''Discworld/CarpeJugulum'' (paraphrased, without spoiling too much):
--->'''Granny Weatherwax:''' Am I dying?\\
'''Death:''' [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Yes ]]
'''Granny Weatherwax:''' But to you, everybody is dying, right? So you are not exactly being Mr. Helpful here.\\
'''Death:''' [[/folder]]

[[folder: Yes. ]]

** Death is fond of this. When Granny was presented a choice between the light and the darkness (long story) she asked him if he had any advice. He replied:
--->'''Death:''' [[/folder]]

[[folder: Choose right. ]]

** And another in ''Discworld/WyrdSisters''...
--->''Demons were like genies or philosophy professors -- if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate [...] answers.''
** As mentioned in ''Discworld/{{Hogfather}}'', when questioned about the origins of life, the philosopher Didactylos set forth this theory:
--->'''Didactylos:'' Things just happen. What the hell?
** The real problem with Mathematician's Answers in Discworld is that they often AREN'T -- they're very accurate statements of the fact that, in a world where symbolism, belief, and narrative causality are physical laws of the universe, it is possible for something to be two different and contradictory things simultaneously.
** Moist's wonderful use of this trope in a BavarianFireDrill during ''Discworld/MakingMoney'':
--->'''Guard:''' Why's there only one of you?\\
'''Moist:''' I don't know. You'd have to ask my mum and dad.
** In ''Discworld/FeetOfClay'' Vimes becomes very angry and hits a table in the Rats Chamber with an axe. The next morning, when Vetinari asks him what it is, he says "It's an axe, sir." Of course, Vetinari then proceeds to snark about how quickly he figured that out and ask the real question, which is why it was stuck in the table.
** Earlier in the same book, Vetinari asks Vimes why he punched the leader of the Assassin's Guild in the face, to receive the reply: "Couldn't find a dagger, sir." (Unusually for this trope, Vetinari's response is more ActuallyPrettyFunny in this instance.)
* ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''
** When Zaphod learns that Marvin is waiting for them in the car park at ''Literature/TheRestaurantAtTheEndOfTheUniverse'' (and has been for several trillion years), he asks what he's doing there. Marvin's answer? Parking cars. What else would he be doing there?
** "42". [[LateArrivalSpoiler For those that don't know about this]], an alien race constructs a massive supercomputer in order to learn "The answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything". The computer, after seven and a half million years of computation, comes back with "42". When asked about this, the computer responds that it is able to figure out the answer, but they need another computer to calculate what the question is. When this second computer is destroyed 15 minutes before its four-and-a-half-billion-year run to find the question completes, the programmers, afraid of the mob's reaction to this nonsense, just make up the question: "[[ShoutOut How many roads]] [[Music/BobDylan must a man walk down?]]"
** Arthur has one in [[Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1 the first book]] as well:
-->'''Arthur Dent''': You know, it's at times like this, when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
-->'''Ford Prefect''': Why? What did she tell you?
-->'''Arthur Dent''': I don't know. I didn't listen.
** In ''Literature/LifeTheUniverseAndEverything'', there is the character Prak. In a court case, he was injected with too much truth serum, and then he was instructed to tell "the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth." He responds by telling them everything that is true about, well, Life, the Universe, and Everything. Everyone present had to flee, leaving him alone telling the Truth, however by the time the protagonists arrive he has finished, telling them that there's not as much to it as one might expect, that he has forgotten it all now, but some of the best bits involved frogs and Arthur Dent.
* Jarlaxle the drow from R.A. Salvatore's series of [[Literature/TheLegendOfDrizzt Drizzt]] books is so fond of the Mathematician's Answer that "Yes" might as well be his catch phrase.
* ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'': After being told by the resident friendly alien member of the team that they have all been dragged through a fracture in space-time continuum
-->'''Jake''': Did we go forward or back? Are we in the past or the future?
-->'''Ax''': Yes. It's definitely one of those two choices.
* Yet another of Creator/PeterDavid's favorite literature tricks to tweak the nose of higher-class people (especially Vulcans in his ''Franchise/StarTrek'' novels): The high-class person asks, "May I ask where you're going?" The person answers, "Yes". It takes the Vulcan a second to comprehend.
** FridgeBrilliance: if there's ''anyone'' you'd expect to understand the Mathematician's Answer trope, it would be a Vulcan. ''But'' the Vulcan is speaking what is, for him, a second language, and probably thinks of that particular construction as an idiom with only a loose connection to its literal meaning.
* In the ''Literature/{{Dragaera}}'' series, this is one of the things Hawklords are known for. It's also why [[HitmanWithAHeart Vlad]] would have killed Daymar out of sheer annoyance if it wasn't for his invaluable psychic skills.
* The Angel, a character in Mike Resnick's ''Literature/SantiagoAMythOfTheFarFuture'' does it several times:
-->"How are you going to ...?"

-->"What did you cut him with?"
-->"Something sharp."
* In ''Literature/TheWondrousLandOfOz'', Mombi tries this in an unsuccessful attempt to avoid Glinda's questions.
--> '''Glinda''': Why did the Wizard pay you three visits?\\
'''Mombi''': Because I would not come to him.
* In ''[[Literature/NightWatch The Last Watch]]'', when [[spoiler:Edgar]] uses a truth spell on Rustam, this exchange takes place:
-->'''[[spoiler:Edgar]]:''' How can I take the Crown of All Things?\\
'''Rustam:''' With your hands.
** Weirdly, this answer is wrong.
* ''Literature/{{Momo}}'' is leaning hard into the direction of being a smart ass.
--> ''"As far as I can remember... I've always been around."''
* In David Weber's ''Literature/{{Safehold}}'' series, Nimue/Merlin's AI assistant Owl persists in responding to her/his questions with literal answers, despite the manufacturer's assertion that it's supposed to learn to reply colloquially. It finally begins to show some improvements in the fourth book, ''A Mighty Fortress''.
* From ''[[Literature/PaladinOfShadows Choosers of the Slain]]'':
-->"Be careful what she teaches her," Adams said, without looking up. "You might get a very nasty surprise."\\
"Are you talking about Anastasia teaching Katya or the other way around?" Nielson asked, grinning.\\
* This is used to fight mind control in the ''Literature/MagicKingdomOfLandover'', when someone is forced to answer questions.
-->'''Ben:''' Where can I find the dragon?
-->'''Nightshade:''' Everywhere.
* In Creator/IsaacAsimov's ''Literature/BlackWidowers'' story "Truth to Tell" the monthly guest, a man who never tells a lie, is suspected of a crime which it seems only he could have committed, but he continually denies it, saying: "I didn't take the cash or the bonds." However the waiter, Henry, asks him: [[spoiler: "Did you take the cash ''and'' the bonds?" The guest declines to answer and leaves.]]
** This is using the word ''or'' differently than usual, but inversely compared to how this trope is normally played out. In normal speech, ''or'' is used as an ''exclusive or'', unless in a negative sentence, such as here, which is normally an ''inclusive or''. He's using it as an ''exclusive or'', and as that excludes the possibility of taking both, he's technically telling the truth.
* Used in Simon R. Green's ''Wolf in the Fold'', when Hawk and Fisher question suspects about the two murders under a truthspell. All the suspects can correctly answer "No" when asked if they murdered Victim #1 and Victim #2, because the two deaths were the handiwork of different killers.
* This exchange from ''Literature/AStormOfSwords'':
-->'''[[spoiler:Bran]]:''' Maybe we shouldn't stay here.
-->'''[[spoiler: Meera]]:''' By the well? Or in the Nightfort?
-->'''[[spoiler: Bran]]:''' Yes.
** Another example from the same book. Jamie Lannister, being interrogated by Catelyn Stark about the circumstances of an attempt made on Brann Stark's life after he witnessed something incriminating, uses this to avoid giving away any of his true reasons.
-->'''Catelyn:''' You pushed my son out a window. Why?\\
'''Jamie:''' I hoped the fall would kill him.
* Creator/SpikeMilligan put plenty of these in his war memoirs, ''Literature/AdolfHitlerMyPartInHisDownfall'':
-->'''Waiter''': Anything to drink?
-->'''Spike''': Yes, anything.
* An example where this is ''not'' played for laughs occurs in ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' novel ''Small Favor'', when Harry brings the injured {{Valkyrie|s}} Gard to [[KnightInShiningArmor Michael Carpenter's]] house for treatment. Michael's fellow Knight Sanya is there and is examining Gard, noting that she is more than human. He asks "The woman. What is she?" to which Harry responds "Injured." Sanya understands the implied rebuke immediately and apologizes.
* In ''Literature/AmericanGods'', Shadow gets one from Whiskey Jack, and then promptly [[LampshadeHanging calls him on it]].
-->'''Shadow:''' Where are we? Am I on the tree? [[spoiler: Am I dead?]] Am I here? I thought everything was finished. What's real?
-->'''Whiskey Jack:''' Yes.
-->'''Shadow:''' ''Yes?'' What kind of an answer is ''Yes''?
-->'''Whiskey Jack:''' It's a good answer. True answer, too.
** Shadow gets one from Sweeney as well
--> '''Sweeney:''' ''(performs an elaborate coin vanishing trick)''
--> '''Shadow:''' We have to talk about that. I need to know how you did it.
--> '''Sweeney:''' I did it with panache and style.
* ''How Rude!'', an etiquette book aimed at teenagers, contains an anecdote from the author. He attempted to call a friend of his and the friend's five-year-old son answered. When the author asked if his daddy was there, the boy replied, "Yes."
* Creator/DavidEddings' ''Literature/TheBelgariad''. One of the most memorable ones was when Durnik went to ask a fisherman about the situation on the other side of a river.
-->'''Belgarath:''' Well?
-->'''Durnik:''' The fish are biting.
-->'''Belgarath:''' I meant on the other side.
-->'''Durnik:''' I did not ask, but if the fish are biting on this side, it would only stand to reason they are biting over there too, doesn't it?
* During ''Literature/GalaxyOfFear'', the Arrandas and their uncle Hoole find a human where no humans should be. They ask him how he got there, he says "I walked."
* From ''[[Literature/PhulesCompany Phule's Paradise]]'', Phule's butler pulls one of these on a hotel manager:
-->'''Bombest:''' How do you do it?
-->'''Beeker:''' Sir?
-->'''Bombest:''' You're a fairly ordinary guy, not at all like Mr. Phule or the uniformed fanatics he's associating with. How do you do your job?
-->'''Beeker:''' Very well, sir.
-->'''Bombest:''' Excuse me?
* Creator/IainBanks loved this trope. The most extensive example is in ''Literature/AgainstADarkBackground:''
-->'''Man:''' Hello?
-->'''Zefla''' Hello. We're looking for a gentleman called Ivexton Travapeth.
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' ''({{beat}})'' You're not him, then?
-->'''Man:''' No.
-->'''Zefla''' Right. Do you know where we can find him?
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Could you tell us where he is?
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Sharrow''' Wrong Department. [[LampshadeHanging It's the formal logic building and they're working to rule]].
-->'''Zefla''' Where is he?
-->'''Man:''' Oh, here.
-->'''Zefla''' May we see him?
-->'''Man:''' Oh, yes.
-->'''Sharrow''' ''(quietly)'' Keep going, the passports only last a year.
-->'''Zefla''' ''(trying not to laugh)'' Good. Thank you. We'd have phoned or screened but Mister Travapeth seems to discourage that sort of contact.
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Yes. Could you let us in?
-->'''Man:''' Yes, yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Please come down and let us in.
-->'''Man:''' Very well.
-->'''Sharrow''' Wake me when the door opens or the universe ends, whichever's sooner.
-->'''Man''' ''(opens door)''
-->'''Zefla''' Good morning.
-->'''Man:''' [[OverlyLongGag Yes]].
* ''Literature/CatchTwentyTwo'' has Yossarian being interrogated in hospital. He is slightly delirious at the time, though.
-->"Where were you born?"
-->"In a hospital."
-->"In what state were you born?"
-->"A state of innocence."
* ''Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant'' has this exchange:
--> '''Fletcher:''' How did you beat them?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' With unimaginable skill.
** This seems to be Skulduggery's preferred form of answer.
--> '''Valkyrie:''' What is it?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' It's a box.
--> '''Valkyrie:''' What kind of box?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' A wooden one.
--> ''{{beat}}''
--> '''Valkyrie:''' OK, I'll try this. Why are we hiding from a box?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' We're not. We're hiding from what's inside the box.
* This is, not surprisingly considering that the author ''was'' in fact a mathematician, one of the logical twists Creator/LewisCarroll peppered throughout ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland'':
-->"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"\\
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said [[CheshireCatGrin the Cat]].\\
"I don't much care where--" said Alice.\\
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.\\
"--so long as I get ''somewhere''," Alice added as an explanation.\\
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."
* From ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'':
-->"What are you reading?"
-->"Goddamn book."
* After a particularly surreal portion of ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows'', Harry asks if the previous discussion was real, or just in his head. His companion simply responds that being in his head wouldn't make their conversation any less real.
** Harry also has one in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince'' when Snape asks him about his copy of Advanced Potion-Making.
-->'''Snape:''' Then why does it have the name ‘Roonil Wazlib’ written inside the front cover?
-->'''Harry:''' That’s my nickname.
-->'''Snape:''' Your nickname?
-->'''Harry:''' Yeah... that’s what my friends call me
* In Scott Meyer's ''Literature/MasterOfFormalities'', the entire palace of [[FeudalFuture House Jakabitus]] is coated with a layer of nanites which perform various functions. If someone is injured, all he has to do is to put the wound against a wall or the floor, as the nanites are programmed to eliminate germs and seal wounds as a first-aid measure until the medical staff arrives, which usually happens within minutes. Everyone notes that the nanites work well with the medical staff, but any questions on how they do it is always met with the answer "Seamlessly."
* In the ''Series/DoctorWho'' novel Forever Autumn, the 10th Doctor is asked how his sonic screwdriver works by a teenage boy. He responds that it works very well.
* In ''Literature/TheSack'', the titular character is big on these when not asked specific questions:
-->'''Committee Member''':"Where would you find an individual capable of conversing intelligently with so wise a creature as you?"
-->'''The Sack''': "Here"

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* In ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}'', the newly composited Echo gives one to Alpha, after turning on him:
-->'''Alpha:''' Something must have gone wrong with the composite.
-->'''Echo:''' Nothing went wrong. Every imprint this Active has ever had is alive and awake in her head right now.
-->'''Alpha:''' Then why did you hit me in the head with a pipe?
-->'''Echo:''' It was handy!
* In ''Series/HappyEndings'' Penny fakes being engaged in front of her safety Shershow, who's about to get married to a beautiful woman.
-->'''Shershow:''' So Penny that's great, you got engaged. To who?
-->'''Penny''' Uh...my fiancé.
* ''Series/MythBusters'': When Adam is taken to Jamie's secret location[[note]]Right over the border to Nevada where most of Jamie's more ''interesting'' toys are legal.[[/note]], this exchange ensues:
-->'''Adam:''' Where are we?
-->'''Jamie:''' We're right here.
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'':
-->'''Dr. Kelso:''' Would someone explain what that bird is doing in my hospital?
-->'''Janitor:''' Sanchez appears to be flying, sir. I've named him Sanchez.
* The [[SufficientlyAdvancedAlien Vorlons]] of ''Series/BabylonFive'' love this trope.
-->'''Kosh:''' They are alone. They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
-->'''Sinclair:''' Who? The Narns or the Centauri?
-->'''Kosh:''' Yes.
** Everything that Kosh says is not exactly helpful:
--> '''Sheridan:''' How do I know you're the same Vorlon? Inside that encounter suit, you could be anyone.
--> '''Kosh:''' I have always been here.
--> '''Sheridan:''' Oh yeah? You said that about me, too.
--> '''Kosh:''' Yes.
--> '''Sheridan:''' I really hate it when you do that.
--> '''Kosh:''' Good.
** In one case, Sheridan had asked what was in the random access hatch Kosh had led him to. Kosh's answer was "One moment of perfect beauty." Sheridan {{lampshade|Hanging}}s this: "Well, as answers go, short, to the point, utterly useless and totally consistent with what I've come to expect from a Vorlon." It turns out, this is a completely factual statement, though it makes no sense [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jli3ruqWYlc until you can see the context]]. This gets {{lampshade|Hanging}}d again in the same episode when Ivanova asks Sheridan what Kosh showed him. Sheridan responds "Beauty...in the dark." Ivanova remarks that Kosh's lessons must be working, because Sheridan is starting to talk like a Vorlon.
** According to the RPG, the Vorlon don't usually do it on purpose: their language is fully telepathic, and most of the usually deep meaning is lost in translation due them not being used at voicing it. Then again, sometimes we get Vorlon like Kosh, who ''is'' capable of expressing himself (relatively) well with a voice but still leaves out details, either to have people think and realize what he mean by themselves, because what he was asked is meant to stay secret, or [[ItAmusedMe just for the hell of it]].
** The Drakh do the same in season 4: "Drakh? Is that your name or your species?" "Yes."
** Creator/JMichaelStraczynski himself has [[http://www.midwinter.com/lurk/guide/038.html used it on occasion.]] (warning: link contains spoilers) "Was Kosh's line about Sheridan going to Z'ha'dum a warning or a threat?" "Yes."
** At the Year-End feast in ''Parliament of Dreams'', Londo asks "Do you know what the last Xon said before he died? AAAAHHHHH!"
** When G'Kar gets let out of jail [[spoiler: for his MindRape of Londo]], he tells Ta'Lon of a revelation he had. Ta'Lon asks what kind of revelation. G'Kar tries this trope on Ta'Lon, who is having none of it.
-->'''G'Kar''': A most profound and substantial one, Ta'Lon. The kind of revelation that transforms your mind, your soul, your heart-even your flesh-so that you are a new creature, reborn in the instant of understanding.
-->'''Ta'Lon''': That was a stirring reply, Citizen G'Kar. Unfortunately, while all answers are replies, not all replies are answers. You did not answer the question that I asked.
* The French-Canadian sitcom ''Series/UnGarsUneFille'' (A Guy and a Girl), has the Guy in the title ask his girlfriend which of two wines she wants for supper. She answers "Yes." This prompts him to reply "When someone gives you a choice between two things, you can't answer with yes! If you're afraid of committing to a decision, do you want me to pick for you, or do you want me to leave choices up to you?" Her answer? "Yes! Yes Yes Yes!"
* ''Franchise/StarTrek'' has come up with the Heisenberg compensator, allowing the transporter to get around the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. When asked how it works, Mike Okuda's response was '[It] works just fine, thank you.'
** In ''[[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries The Original Series]]'', a recently-awakened Khan has Doctor [=McCoy=] by the throat:
-->'''[=McCoy=]:''' Well, either choke me or cut my throat. [[GetItOverWith Make up your mind.]]
-->'''Khan:''' English. I thought I dreamed hearing it. Where am I?
-->'''[=McCoy=]:''' You're in bed, [[DeadpanSnarker holding a knife at your doctor's throat.]]
** On ''[[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Deep Space Nine]]'', Odo is asked by Lwaxana Troi if Odo is his first or last name. Yes, it is.
** In a later episode, we get to know that Odo is his first name. His second is Ital. (The Cardassian word ''Odo'ital'' means "Unknown Sample," which is [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what he was]] to the scientists who discovered him.)
*** Well, he ''was'' named on Bajor, where the Eastern name order is accepted, so it's still Mathematician's.
** On an episode of ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', Wesley talks to The Custodian (a computer), after having been told he's allowed to ask of it any question:
-->'''Wesley''': Custodian, can you show me where Harry is?
-->'''The Custodian''': Yes.
-->'''Wesley''': Custodian, ''show'' me Harry.
** On ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'', while the crew is helping to repair a cargo ship:
--> '''Boy playing hide-and-seek''':"Have you seen Nadine?"
--> '''T'Pol''': "I'm sorry. I don't know which child is named 'Nadine'." (She just saw a little girl open a panel and hide behind it.)
* ''Series/{{Andromeda}}'':
-->'''Dylan Hunt:''' Are you dead or alive?
-->'''Trance Gemini:''' Yes.
-->'''Dylan Hunt:''' Crystal clear as usual.
** Given that Trance is [[spoiler:the avatar of a star]], this makes some sense.
* In British comedy ''Series/TheITCrowd'', Roy runs into this trying to run tech support.
-->'''Roy:''' Is it a PC, or a Mac?
-->'''Judy:''' ...Yes!
** From the same episode:
--->'''Roy:''' What was that name, was it Ju''lie'' or Ju''dy''?
--->'''Moss:''' Yes. One of those.
* In ''Series/TheATeam'', an exchange between Hannibal and Murdock goes something like this:
-->'''Hannibal:''' How does that sound?
-->'''Murdock:''' Well, Colonel, it doesn't make much of a sound at all!
* ''Series/BetterOffTed'' had a great one:
-->'''Lawyer:''' Could you describe your job?
-->'''Veronica:''' Yes.
-->'''Lawyer:''' ''How'' would you describe your job?
-->'''Veronica:''' Cleverly.
* ''Series/That70sShow'' provides this example when 2 state troopers arrive at the Foreman house during a party:
-->'''State Trooper:''' Ma'am, are you the owner of this house?
-->'''Midge:''' No, I'm not.
-->'''State Trooper:''' Do you know the owners?
-->'''Midge:''' Yes, I do!
-->'''State Trooper:''' Could you ''get them'', please!?
** Showing that the trooper is a bit slow, or he would've realized that Midge can answer, "Yes, I could."
* ''Series/NightCourt'': Bull helps deliver a baby. Asks the exhausted mother, "What is it?", wanting to know the gender. Bull: "It's a ''baby''!"
* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
** From "The Big Bang."
--->'''Doctor:''' Are you married, River?
--->'''River Song:''' Are you asking?
--->'''Doctor:''' Yes.
--->'''River Song:''' Yes.
--->'''Doctor:''' No, hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me, or asking if you were married?
--->'''River Song:''' Yes.
--->'''Doctor:''' No, but was that yes, or yes?
--->'''River Song:''' Yes.
*** An earlier exchange between the Doctor and Rory:
---->'''Doctor''': So, 2,000 years. How did you do?
---->'''Rory''': Kept out of trouble.
---->'''Doctor''': Oh. How?
---->'''Rory''': Unsuccessfully.
** From "The Two Doctors"
--->'''Doctor:''' I closed my respiratory passages as soon as I detected any danger.
--->'''Peri:''' Well, then how did you breathe?
--->'''Doctor:''' With difficulty.
** Similarly, from "The Doctor's Wife"
--->'''Amy:''' How do you leave the universe?
--->'''Doctor:''' With enormous difficulty!
** In "A Good Man Goes To War", we meet Madame Vastra, a female Silurian in the late 1800s:
--->'''Vastra''': UsefulNotes/JackTheRipper has taken his last victim.
--->'''Jenny''': How did you find him?
--->'''Vastra''': [[ImAHumanitarian Stringy, but tasty all the same. I won't be needing dinner.]]
** During the events of The Name of the Doctor:
---> '''Vastra:''' We are awaiting only one more participant.
---> '''Strax''': Oh no. Not the one with the gigantic head.
---> '''Jenny''': It's hair, Strax.
---> '''Strax''': Hmph. Hair.
---> '''River''' ''(popping in)'' Madame Vastra.
---> '''Vastra''': Professor. Help yourself to some tea.
---> '''River''': ''(she has a champagne bucket)'' Why, thank you.
---> '''Jenny''': How did you do that?!
---> '''River''' ''(smiling)'' Disgracefully.
** In "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS5E7TheWheelInSpace The Wheel in Space]]":
--->'''Zoe:''' This Doctor friend of yours. Is he a scientist?\\
'''Jamie:''' He is in a way I suppose, yes.\\
'''Zoe:''' What's his specialty?\\
'''Jamie:''' His what?\\
'''Zoe:''' Well, is he a physicist, biochemist, astronomer, biometrician?\\
'''Jamie:''' [[OmnidisciplinaryScientist Yes, he is.]]
** Another, from an episode where River is working with a bunch of people who know nothing about the Doctor:
-->"Do you trust this man?"
-->"I absolutely trust him."
-->"He's not just a madman in a box?"
-->({{beat}}) I absolutely trust him.
* Given a serious purpose in an episode of ''Series/TheWestWing'', when White House counsel Oliver Babish is preparing C.J. to testify before Congress:
-->'''Babish:''' Do you know what time it is?\\
'''C.J.:''' It's five past noon.\\
'''Babish:''' I'd like you to get out of the habit of doing that.\\
'''C.J.:''' Doing what?\\
'''Babish:''' Answering more than was asked... Do you know what time it is?\\
''(C.J. stares at him silently for several moments)''\\
'''C.J.:''' Yes.
** Though also played for laughs when Will is attempting to obfuscate an angry Assistant Secretary of State:
-->'''Assistant Secretary of State:''' Are you rewriting the foreign policy section?\\
'''Will:''' Yes.\\
'''Assistant Secretary of State:''' Dramatically?\\
'''Will:''' I like to think I have a certain flair...
** Done twice in the pilot, both times played for laughs. First, when Leo is looking for Josh and goes to Donna, who's sitting at her desk:
-->'''Leo:''' Is [Josh] there?\\
'''Donna:''' Yes.\\
'''Leo:''' Could you get him?\\
'''Donna:''' ''(yelling towards Josh's office)'' Josh!\\
'''Leo:''' [[SarcasmMode Thanks]].
** And then a bit later, between Leo and Mrs. Landingham, when they're talking about the President's bike accident:
-->'''Mrs. Landingham:''' Have they done an X-ray?
-->'''Leo:''' Yep.
-->'''Mrs. Landingham:''' Is anything broken?
-->'''Leo:''' A $4000 Lynex Titanium touring bike that I swore I'd never lend anyone.
* On ''Series/JustShootMe'', when Elliot asks Dennis if he's licking stamps, Dennis answers sarcastically "I was, now I'm answering obvious questions." When a pretty model asks the same question, Dennis cordially responds "Why, yes I am."
* A guest of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'' tells the girls his wife has just had triplets. "What are they?" asks Dorothy. Rose answers, "That's when three babies are born at the same time."
* ''Series/{{Lost}}'' provided a perfect example during [[spoiler: the flight to return to the island]]:
--> '''Jack''': How can you ''read''? [at a time like this]
--> '''Ben''': My mother taught me.
** He's lying as usual. [[spoiler: His mother died shortly after giving birth to him.]]
** Another one from when Richard Alpert gives the Time Jumping Locke a compass.
--> '''Locke:''' What's it do?
--> '''Alpert:''' It points North, John.
* ''Series/TheMuppetShow''
** Some dancing rats were in Creator/ChristopherReeve's dressing room.
-->'''Scooter''': Christopher Reeve, fifteen seconds to curtain, Christopher!
-->'''Christopher Reeve''': Oh thanks a lot, Scooter. Hey listen, can you tell me what these rats are doing in my dressing room?
-->'''Scooter''': I think it's the Foxtrot.
** Kermit's contribution to a string of "fly in the soup" jokes.
--->"So I ask the waiter, 'What's this fly doing in my alphabet soup?', and the waiter answers, 'Standing in for an apostrophe'."
* On ''The Newlywed Game''
** Bob Eubanks asked "If you don't win the game today, what would be the reason?" The husband answered "Because we didn't answer the questions right." (The answer on his wife's card read "(Because she) Laughs too much")
* From ''Series/TheYoungOnes'':
-->'''Rick''': Alright, what's the stair carpet doing on the fire?
-->'''Vyvyan''': Burning! What's it look like?!
** Also:
-->'''Neil''': ''(answering the phone)'' Someone's asking if we know the name of a short fat comedian.
-->'''Mike''': Yes.
-->'''Neil''': ''(into the phone)'' Yes we do! ''(hangs up)''
** Another:
-->'''Vyvyan''': 11:05 and it's still raining. I wonder how hard it is.
-->'''Rick''': Not very hard, seeing as it's only made of water.
** Mike walks in holding a fish. He asks "What is this!?" Everyone else replies, "A FISH!" He realizes they are right and leaves. Later in the episode he comes back with the fish, having figured out what he meant to ask. He asks, "What is this fish doing in my bed!?" Someone points out to him it is not in his bed, he is holding it in his hands. He realizes they are right and leaves. Still later, he comes back, sure he has figured it out for good, with NOTHING in his hands. He says, "What is this fish doing in my bed!?" Everyone says, "WHAT FISH?"
** Still another:
--> '''Girl''': Oh, is that the time?
--> '''Mike''': No, that's a wristwatch. Time is abstract concept.
* And from the opening scene of the later Mayall/Edmondson/Planer/Elton series, ''Series/FilthyRichAndCatflap'':
-->'''Richie''': What are you doing in my bed?
-->'''Eddie''': Well I was sleeping. But now I'm talking to a git.
* In a parody of government officials avoiding giving direct answers, ''Series/TheDailyShow'''s Creator/StephenColbert and Creator/SteveCarell had [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-october-15-2001/even-stevphen---secrets this exchange]]:
-->'''Stephen''': There are things I don't tell you.
-->'''Steve''': Oh, you tell me everything.
-->'''Stephen''': No, I don't.
-->'''Steve''': Like what?
-->'''Stephen''': I can't tell you.
-->'''Steve''': Well, does it involve you or me?
-->'''Stephen''': Yes.
-->'''Steve''': Who? Me, or you?
-->'''Stephen''': Steve, we've exhausted this topic.
** Another example: In 2003, when Prince Charles was alleged to have had a gay experience, Britain's strict libel and slander laws prevented anyone from commenting publicly on the charge. Colbert, doing a report on the scandal, was asked by Jon Stewart if he had learned any specifics. Colbert said, "Yes I have, Jon."
* In ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', when Clark wants to talk to Lois about their relationship:
-->'''Clark''': Lois, what are we doing?
-->'''Lois''': I'm eating a maple donut and and you're kind of invading my personal space.
* In ''Series/PartyDown'':
-->'''Ron''': What am I not hearing?
-->'''Roman''': I don't know... a squid? There are other options...
** Roman is supposed to be DJ and is not at his post.
* In ''Series/GetSmart'', one of Maxwell Smart's many catchphrases is a mathematician's answer. When asked how he did something, or how he planned to do something, he would respond: "With great difficulty."
** ...and, loving it.
* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'':
** Cliff Claven attempted to use such an answer on ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'' when asked to identify three actors by their original, non-stage names. His reply was "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?" Correct, but ...
** One conversation:
--->'''Frasier''': O death in life, the days that are no more -- who said that?
--->'''Woody''': Who said what?
--->'''Frasier''': "O death in life, the days that are no more."
--->'''Woody''': You did.
--->'''Frasier''': No, I mean, who said it first?
--->'''Woody''': You said it both times.
** Another example had Cliff give a long and detailed explanation about why they drank ice cold beer in the middle of winter (which essentially centred around the need to equalise your internal and external temperatures). When he had finished, carla then asked him why they also drank it summer. His response was "What else are we going to do with it?".
* In episode six of the first season of ''Series/BoardwalkEmpire'', Margaret tells a friend in the Temperance League that a man has made her an offer. The friend asks, "Financial? Domestic? Sexual?", and Margaret replies, "[[TheMistress Yes]]."
* In [[Series/GoodLuckCharlie Charlie]] [[Series/ShakeItUp Shakes It Up]], Deuce says he "has the situation under control", which prompts this:
-->'''Teddy:''' So when he says he has it under control, should we be relieved or worried?\\
'''Cece & Rocky:''' Yes.
* ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
-->'''Tyrion:''' What sort of accent is that?
-->'''Shae:''' Foreign.
** And again:
-->'''Catelyn:''' Why [[spoiler:did you push my son from the window?]]
-->'''Jaime:''' [[spoiler:I hoped the fall would kill him.]]
* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': Wojo is questioning a prostitute he has just arrested:
-->'''Wojo''': Any prior convictions?
-->'''Prostitute''': I used to think that cleanliness was next to godliness.
* In ''Series/TerminatorTheSarahConnorChronicles'', this is sometimes how [[RobotGirl Cameron]] responds to questions.
* ''Series/PoliceSquad''
** A RunningGag where Frank holds a cigarette out to a witness or suspect and asks "cigarette?" The implication is that he's asking if they want one, but they always answer "Yes, I know," or "Yes, it is."
** Another example, which appeared both on the show and in one of the movies. When the squad raids a criminal hideout, a pretty gun moll asks "Is this some kind of bust?". While [[MaleGaze looking at her chest]], Drebin replies "Yes, it is very impressive".
* ''Series/MockTheWeek'' has a Series/{{Jeopardy}} parody called ''If This is the Answer, What is the Question?'', which naturally wound up like the ''Jeopardy'' example above on occasion.
* From ''Series/{{House}}'':
--> '''Masters:''' House, how many prostitutes have you had?
--> '''House:''' As in eaten? Ever? This year?
--> '''Masters:''' Slept with. Since you've been here.
--> '''House:''' All but one. She did my taxes.
* In ''Series/TheXFiles'' episode "One Breath", Melissa Scully comes to visit Mulder at his apartment, where he is sitting in the dark hoping to surprise an intruder.
-->'''Melissa:''' Why is it so dark in here?
-->'''Mulder:''' Because the lights aren't on.
* ''Series/TheMysticKnightsOfTirNaNog'': In a CourtroomEpisode, Angus was facing trial and, when it seemed he'd be convicted, the truth was revealed. In the end, Angus asked the judge if he'd be acquitted or convicted without the new evidence and the judge said he'd certainly be one of those.
* ''Series/SuperhumanSamuraiSyberSquad'': In one episode, the heroes were playing with a game that told people's luck with basis on their dates of birth. Mrs. Starkey decided to try and asked Amp when he was born. Despite knowing about the game, he told the hour. When she explained she wanted to know the day, he said he was born in Wednesday.
* On an episode of ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen'' Jake had a test where he wrote that UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in...pen.
* In Rik Mayall's ''Series/BelieveNothing'' (made when David Blunkett was Britain's Home Secretary):
-->'''Receptionist:''' The Home Secretary is in the waiting room. He wants to know if he can see you.
-->'''Adonis Cnut:''' Of course he can't see me. He's blind.
* While the above fictional ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'' examples are based on the contestant's responses, the clues themselves can seem like this if you go along with the concept that they're the answers to the questions that the correct responses ask. Who, when asked "what are chairs?" would answer "George Hepplewhite was known for designing the backs of these in such shapes as hearts & shields"?!
* Famously in the ''Series/{{Only Fools and Horses}}'' episode "If They Could See Us Now", in which Del boy is on a quiz show hosted by Jonathan Ross:
-->'''Jonathan Ross:''' In what state was President Kennedy in when he was shot?
-->'''Del Boy:''' Well he was in a terrible state, he died!
* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' had an instance when Raj (who usually has trouble talking to women) was getting a little too attached to Siri, to the point that his friends described it as "dating a phone". When Bernadette asked if it was cute or creepy, Howard simply said "uh-huh".
** In the episode "The Engagement Reaction"
-->'''Leonard''': So, how is she?
-->'''Howard''': They’re running tests. I don’t know. It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event.
-->'''Penny''': What’s the difference?
-->'''Sheldon''': A heart-attack-like event is an event that’s like a heart attack.
-->'''Penny''': Thanks for clearing that up.
** Also this exchange from "The Apology Insufficiency" after someone knocks on the door:
-->'''Leonard:''' Want to get that?
-->'''Sheldon:''' Not particularly.
-->'''Leonard:''' ''Could'' you get that?
-->'''Sheldon:''' I suppose I could if I were asked.
-->'''Leonard:''' Would you ''please'' get that?
-->'''Sheldon:''' Of course. ''(beat)'' Why do you have to make things so complicated?
* From the ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'' episode "Hunteri Heroici":
-->'''Dean''': Hey Cas, what's the word?
-->'''Castiel''': It's a shortened version of my name.
* ''Series/TheFollowing'' has this exchange in "Whips and Regrets":
-->'''Parker''': So, are you an alcoholic, or just a problem drinker?
-->'''Hardy''': Yes.
* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' had several, one such example with a mathematician's riposte thrown in:
-->'''Woman 1''': What's on the television then?
-->'''Woman 2''': ''(looks over to see the TV turned off and a penguin standing atop it)'' Looks like a penguin. Funny that penguin being there, innit? What's it doing there?
-->'''Woman 1''': Standing.
** Another example occurs at one point in the Secret Service Dentists sketch, where Arthur Lemming, a customer in a book store, is thrown in a ComicStrip/SpyVsSpy [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext dental-related imbroglio]], where he has no idea what's going on ([[spoiler: [[ObfuscatingStupidity or so we think]]...]]) except that it's something suspicious despite the repeated denials of the store owner, while the whole cast is repeatedly [[PutDownYourGunAndStepAway held at gunpoint]] by the [[SerialEscalation next entering character]]:
-->'''Brian''': ''(holding a bazooka)'' Not so fast!
-->'''All''': Brian!
-->'''Arthur''': Ooh, what's that?
-->'''Others''': [[CaptainObvious It's a bazooka!]]
* From ''Series/{{Community}}'':
** In "Basic Human Anatomy"
---> '''Annie:''' So, I'm number two again, which is what it is. But you know, if I'm not going to be valedictorian, I'm glad it will be you.
---> '''Shirley:''' Me too.
---> '''Annie:''' You mean, you hope it's me if it's not you, or that you're glad it's you?
---> '''Shirley:''' Yes.
* In Series/SquareOneTV segment Mathnet, a musician plays AirGuitar complete with sound effects. This prompts the following exchange with George Frankly:
---> '''George Frankly:''' How did you do that?
---> '''Musician:''' Bloody Perfectly.
* Creator/DavidTennant once hosted a ''Series/DoctorWho''-themed episode of comedy quiz show ''Series/NeverMindTheBuzzcocks'', which featured the following question:
--> '''Tennant''': Knock knock.
--> '''Panellist''': Who's there?
--> '''Tennant''': Doctor
--> '''Panellist''': Doctor who?
--> '''Tennant''': Correct!
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'' :
-->'''Joey''': Hey Phoebes, do you think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
-->'''Phoebe''': Why? Why would you want to do that?
-->'''Joey''': So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
* ''Series/TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody'': [[AsianAirhead London Tipton]] gets bonus points for this gem:
-->'''Cody:''' London! What's twelve times twelve?
-->'''London:''' [beat] A math question?
* One bit of edutainment featured a musical sketch with the {{Ridiculously Human Robot|s}} "Mr. Computer Man" who boasts in his song that he can do anything we humans can. When asked how to spell a simple word, he spells it out. When asked "How do you spell [[Film/MaryPoppins supercalifragilisticexpialidocious]]?" however, he [[{{Beat}} thinks a moment]] and then replies "With letters!"
* In ''Series/TheFlash2014'', after the disastrous encounter with the Reverse-Flash, Joe explained to the stunned Eddie about the existence of meta-humans. He appears to convince Eddie that the Flash is one of the good ones, despite Eddie having been attacked by the whammied Flash in an earlier episode. We then get this exchange:
--> '''Eddie Thawne:''' And the Flash. Do you know who he is?
--> '''Joe West:''' Yeah, I do. He's the guy that saved both of our lives tonight.
** For reference, Joe really does know that Barry is the Flash, but it's not his secret to reveal.
* When ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' tries to teach [[TheDitz Baldrick]] addition by adding four beans together, Baldrick gives the following answers:
-->"Some beans."
-->"Three beans." "And that one."
-->"A very small casserole."
** When Prince Edmund asks how the Archbishop of Canterbury died, he is told "Horribly."
* ''Series/RippingYarns'':
--> '''Man 1:''' What did your father say before he died?
--> '''Man 2:''' EEEEUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHH... *death rattle*
--> '''Man 1:''' No, before that.
--> '''Man 2:''' Oh.
* ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle'' has grizzled old coot Pete scrub up for a date, looking at himself in a mirror. When Francis walks in on him, we have the following gem:
--> '''Francis:''' Pete, is that really you?
--> '''Pete:''' ...no! It's a reflection!
* ''Series/PersonOfInterest'' has this rather hilarious example after Root [[CarFu crashes a car]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext to keep the Victim of the Week safe]]:
-->'''Finch:''' Whose car was that?!\\
'''Root:''' Someone who needs a good mechanic.
* In ''Series/TheThundermans'' episode "Change of Art", Nora is trying to keep her mother from knowing where her siblings are:
-->Barb: Where's Max?
-->Nora: With Phoebe.
-->Barb: Where's Phoebe?
-->Nora: With Billy.
-->Barb: Where's Billy?
-->Nora: hey look, they're starting.
* Done as a TakeThat to a telemarketer in an episode of ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''. Jerry at one point answers the phone and is asked, "Would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times?" He casually answers "Yes," before hanging up.
* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' dipped into this when Barney tells Ted about a special type of bingo he invented, and Ted tries to figure out the endgame, and Barney answers with an intonation like Ted's the strange one.
--> '''Ted:''' So, how many people are in on this Party School Bingo thing?
--> '''Barney:''' Oh, it's just me.
--> '''Ted:''' So what's the point, then?
--> '''Barney:''' The point is to get five in a row.
--> '''Ted:''' And what do you get when you get five in a row?
--> '''Barney:''' ... I get Bingo.
** Barney gets it done to him when he tries to surprise the group with tickets to "Robots versus Wrestlers".
--> '''Barney:''' Guess what I've got behind my back!
--> '''Lily:''' Oh, wait, wait, wait. I got this one: left.
--> '''Barney:''' Wrong game, but correct.
* ''Series/ElChavoDelOcho'': In one episode, El Chavo is selling refreshments and agrees to reveal Don Ramon's location if the landlord buys one. El Chavo then reveals that Don Ramon is still in the country.
* ''Series/UnderTheUmbrellaTree'' devoted an episode to the characters telling jokes, including:
--> '''Gloria:''' How did you find the weather on your vacation?
--> '''Jacob:''' I just went outside, and there it was!

* When asked what his songs were about, Music/BobDylan responded, "Some are about three minutes, some are about four minutes..."
* Music/ElvisCostello, ''Brutal Youth'', "My Science Fiction Twin":
-->"They ask, 'How in the world he does all these things,'/ and he answers, 'Superbly'"
* Jez Lowe has an example in his song "High Part of the Town":
-->They tried to teach geography, but I found it much too hard/When they asked me where does coal come from, I answered “next door’s yard”
* When asked whether she was a singer of country, pop, blues, or jazz, Crystal Gayle replied, "Yes."

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty'' has one in its first series about the Presidential election. Trying to find a local candidate, Milo asks the bum Limekiller "How do you stand on nuclear waste?" Limekiller immediately begins balancing awkwardly on one foot, earning Milo's approval.
* ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'' featured this exchange in a Sunday strip:
-->'''Miss Wormwood''': Calvin, pay attention! We're studying geography! [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield Now, what state do you live in?]]
-->'''Calvin''': Denial.
-->'''Miss Wormwood''': ...I don't suppose I can argue with THAT.
** And in a weekday strip:
-->''[Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under a tree.]''
-->'''Calvin:''' Why are we here?
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because we walked here.
-->'''Calvin:''' No, I mean here on Earth.
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because Earth can support life.
-->'''Calvin:''' No, why are we ''anywhere''? Why do we exist?
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because we were born.
-->'''Calvin''' ''(angry)'': Forget it.
-->'''Hobbes''' ''(just as angry)'': I will, thank you.
* ''{{ComicStrip/Peanuts}}''
** Similar to the Eddie Izzard example: in a 1960s strip, Charlie Brown is trying to teach Sally to count. When shown a picture and asked "How many boats do you see?" she answers "All of them!"
** In another strip, Schroeder is injured by a foul ball while playing baseball. When Charlie Brown asks him if he can still play, Schroeder runs home and pounds out a Beethoven sonata on his toy piano while still wearing his catcher's mask.
--> '''Schroeder''': It's all right. I can still play.
--> '''Charlie Brown''': That isn't exactly what I meant.
** In another strip, Peppermint Patty has to write a report on ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}''. Her report begins "A hamlet is a small village with a population of maybe a few hundred and ..."
** One story has Charlie Brown getting knocked unconscious, then waking up in an unfamiliar neighborhood with two small children he's never seen before staring at him. When Charlie Brown asks where he is, the girl points to where he's sitting and says, "Right there!"
* ''ComicStrip/{{Mafalda}}'' has Libertad unknowingly doing this to Susanita.
--> '''Susanita''': So, what does your dad do?
--> '''Libertad''': He doesn't know.
--> '''Susanita''': He doesn't know?
--> '''Libertad''': "I don't know what I do there" he always says.
--> '''Susanita''': "There" where?
--> '''Libertad''': "In that stall" he says.
--> '''Susanita''': What kind of stall?!
--> '''Libertad''': "Awful" he says.

* In ''Theatre/{{Chicago}}'':
--> She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "men."
* In ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'': Polonius asks what Hamlet is reading.
--> '''Hamlet''': Words, words, words.
* In ''Theatre/ThePiratesOfPenzance'', the [[ModernMajorGeneral Major-General]] wants to find out something about the men in piratical outfits who propose to marry his daughters:
--> '''Major General''': May I ask – this is a picturesque uniform, but I’m not familiar with it. What are you?
--> '''Pirate King''': We are all... single gentlemen.
* In ''Theatre/{{Iolanthe}}'', when Strephon is required to prove that the title character [[OlderThanTheyLook is really his mother]], he points out she gave birth to him and raised him from childhood, and therefore she must be his mother.
* In ''Theatre/TwelfthNight'', when Malvolio tells Olivia that a man wants to see her and will not be turned away:
-->'''Olivia''': What kind of man is he?\\
'''Malvolio''': Why, of mankind.\\
'''Olivia''': What ''manner'' of man?\\
'''Malvolio''': Of very ill-manner.
** Also, when Viola meets Feste:
--->'''Viola''': Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by thy tabour?\\
'''Feste''': No, sir, I live by the church.\\
'''Viola''': Art thou a churchman?\\
'''Feste''': No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' has one character who gives these sort of answers almost by default:
-->'''Shepard:''' You watch me or you watch organics?\\
'''[[spoiler: Legion:]]''' Yes.\\
'''Shepard:''' Which?\\
'''[[spoiler: Legion:]]''' Both.
** Said character also has a nasty habit of providing massively important information under the verbal heading of "Addendum:", which is kind of a mathematician's answer in its own right; yes, it is indeed an additional piece of information that you did not have a moment ago. It's also frequently something you would, ideally, have liked to have known ''before'' you did what you just did...
* In ''VideoGame/DiscworldNoir'', when Lewton asks the butler if he can see Count von Uberwald, the ServileSnarker responds that he is in no position to judge how good Lewton's eyesight is.
* Sten of ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins'' loves to do this.
--> '''Warden:''' What were you doing in that cage?\\
'''Sten:''' Sitting.
* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', a sidequest has Hawke go fetch some pickaxes for a group of miners from a smith in town whose name they forgot.
-->'''Hawke:''' Are you the smith?\\
'''Smith:''' I'm ''a'' Smith.\\
'''Hawke:''' Is "Smith" your name or your profession?\\
'''Smith:''' Yep.
* Done beautifully in ''VideoGame/ArcanumOfSteamworksAndMagickObscura'' when you try to get the location of the HiddenElfVillage Quintarra from Myrth the Elf. He repeatedly answers "In the Glimmering Forest" (said forest covers a third of Arcanum) and "In the trees" while being delighted at your frustration. When you give up, you turn it back on him:
--> '''Myrth:''' "Why do you want to know, if you don't mind me asking?"
--> '''You:''' "No, I don't mind at all that you're asking."
--> '''Myrth:''' Well?
--> '''You:''' ...
--> '''Myrth:''' Aren't you going to answer?
--> '''You:''' ...
--> '''Myrth:''' Out with it, man/woman!
--> '''You:''' I said I didn't mind you asking, not that I'd answer.
* The third generation ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' games will let you answer yes or no...to the question of where your character came from. If you answer "yes," he'll reply that he's never heard of Yes Town. If you say no, he'll say that you have to have come from somewhere.
* Same deal in ''VideoGame/EarthBound''. Someone asks you to name a Beatles song - [=XXXterday=]. If you say Yes, that is technically correct. If you say No, the asker answers that Noterday is just wrong.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}: Mister Torgue's Campaign of Carnage'', Mister Torgue explains that the reason he's always disorganized and was unable to find a sponsor for the Vault Hunter was because he was "[[AmbiguousSyntax busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie]]". He then notices that "You may ask, who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?". Answer: '''YES'''.
** There's also a question asked on his Reddit: "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF EXPLOSION?" Answer: '''YES'''.
** Torgue poses something of a Mathematicians' ''Question'' in the introduction to this campaign. "I have one question, and one question only: '''EXPLOSIONS?!'''" Under the circumstances, one could be led to believe that the valid answer is "Yes".
* The game ''VideoGame/StarControl 2'' has a race with a game called Frungy. One of the creators was asked how Frungy is played. "With gusto!"
* In ''VideoGame/{{Bayonetta}}'', Bayonetta meets a little girl called Cereza. Bayonetta asks where she is from. She responds "I... I'm from my house".
* In ''VideoGame/LegendOfMana'', one specific sidequest involves you convincing dropout students to go back to school. One of them thinks that AdultsAreUseless because they answer questions but never actually say anything useful. You have to convince him otherwise... except [[HeroicMime your character]] [[HypocriticalHumor can only say yes or no]].
* The gender of Mangle from ''Videogame/FiveNightsAtFreddys2'' is one hotly debated by the fandom for well over a year. [[WordOfGod Scott Cawthon's]] answer on if Mangle is male or female? [[http://steamcommunity.com/app/388090/discussions/0/523897653300510719/#p1 Yes.]]
* After an update, ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'''s Mad Dummy boss simply has its defense listed as "YES".

* In [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2007/10/01/ozy-and-millie-1961/ this]] ''WebComic/OzyAndMillie'' strip, Millie gets one of these from her own subconscious.
* Invoked by WordOfGod in response to this ''WebComic/{{Drowtales}}'' [[http://www.drowtales.com/mainarchive.php?sid=9162 page]]. When a reader asked if Kiel was referring to the flying daggers, or fire wielding dude when she said 'I want one of those', ''WebComic/{{Drowtales}}'' writer Kern stated the correct answer was [[http://forums.drowtales.com/viewtopic.php?p=750866#p750866 "Yes"]]
* ''Webcomic/EdmundFinneysQuestToFindTheMeaningOfLife'' has [[http://eqcomics.com/2011/09/02/an-arrest/ this comic.]]
* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', the Oracle's first [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0330.html answer]] to Roy's question "Where is Xykon?" was "In his throne room." Roy [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0329.html persuaded]] him to follow up with a more useful answer.
** When Belkar [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0331.html asked the oracle]] whether he would kill "Miko, Miko's stupid horse, Roy, Vaarsuvius, or you [the oracle]," the oracle replied "Yes."
** Vaarsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0749.html does this]] to Haley in another strip
** This is generally the sort of answer given when a question is asked about V's gender.
** When asked where Girard's Gate (the Artifact sealing [[NegativeSpaceWedgie Girard's Rift]]) is, a deliberately unhelpful (but compelled to tell the truth) mummy, does this. It first answers "in the Desert", then, when asked for ulterior clarification, it says "around Girard's Rift" (which the protagonists and readers know already, since it's sealing it), and finally, when asked where Girard's Rift is, it goes: "Between Girard's Buttcheeks."
-->'''Elan:''' The tragic loss to the field of ass comedy diminishes us all.
* On the ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'' forum, Tom Siddell gives this type of answer to the few questions [[ShrugOfGod he doesn't want to answer]].
-->'''Fan:''' What did the Court do with Sivo's body? ... Was Sivo laid to rest somewhere near the Court, or were his remains sent to an [[OurDragonsAreDifferent Orjak]] burial ground in the Bovec Mountains or elsewhere?\\
'''[[http://gunnerkrigg.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=40&page=12#3563 Tom Siddell]]:''' Eglamore dealt with the matter in the way agreed on between he and his friend.\\
'''Fan:''' I like how most characters have slightly different skin colors. But because they do, I'm not sure what to make of Zimmy's ashen color. Do you consider it to be in the expected range of variation for Gunnerkrigg characters (it does seem like the Headmaster's is quite similar), or is it intended to suggest something like unhealthiness or unnaturalness or even just griminess?\\
'''[[http://gunnerkrigg.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=614&page=6#21831 Tom Siddell]]:''' Yup.
* [[http://irregularwebcomic.net/1785.html This]] ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' strip.
* [[http://somethingpositive.net/sp10112005.shtml Yeah]], ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'' did it, too.
-->"Davan, I'm going to force self-worth into you if I have to do it with a suppository."\\
"Be gentle, it'll be my first time."\\
"First time to be rectally violated or first time to feel good about yourself?"\\
** And [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02152009.shtml again]].
-->"I honestly, truly hate you."\\
"Because I did that to your character, or because I thought to put it in a game before you?"\\
** In the "Life according to S*P" comic in which [[www.somethingpositive.net/sp03032009.shtml Davan is horrified to realise]] he's been arguing about ''Film/StarTrek'' on the internet and used a LOLCat, Randy's comment at the bottom of the strip is "If you're wondering if the argument or the LOLCat was stupid, the answer is yes."
* The ''WebComic/FlakyPastry'' [[http://flakypastry.runningwithpencils.com/comic.php?strip_id=100 100th strip spectacular]] showed Nitrine giving a slightly more helpful Mathematician's Answer.
* ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance'': Kusari answers with one [[http://sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/091216 here]].
-->'''Kusari''': Dr. Shankraft, you are in trouble. In a permanent sense. We can help.
-->'''Dr. Shankraft''': Help me get "into" my permanent trouble, or "out" of it?
-->'''Kusari''': Yes.
* ''Able And Baker'' gives one of these [[http://www.jimburgessdesign.com/comics/index.php?comic=1239 here]].
-->"What's your honest opinion?"\\
"The one thing I can never be wrong about."
* [[http://www.terrorisland.net/strips/027.html This strip]] from the "spelling bee" arc in ''WebComic/TerrorIsland'':
-->'''York''': Stephen, your word is "Camelopard."\\
'''Stephen''': Can you use it in a sentence?\\
'''York''': Almost certainly.\\
'''Stephen''': Sorry, ''will'' you use it in a sentence?\\
'''York''': Probably not. It isn't a very common word.
* ''{{Webcomic/Xkcd}}'' gets one early on [[http://xkcd.com/13/ here:]]
-->What time is it?\\
That's a pretty boring answer.\\
Is not. It's the least boring answer imaginable.
* From ''Webcomic/WapsiSquare'', Shelly gives one when asked where she [[http://wapsisquare.com/comic/onmyfront/ got her tattoo.]]
* In ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'', we have two examples:
** Having been [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice jumped on]] multiple times by both Red Mage and Dragoon, Black Mage gives us [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/10/06/episode-903-awakenings/ this exchange:]]
--->'''Thief:''' Since when do you care about quests?\\
'''Black Mage:''' Since it's a convenient excuse to butcher Sir Hopsalot for revenge.\\
'''Dragoon:''' You mean Red Mage or me?\\
'''Black Mage: YES.'''
** Then, we have Red Mage's character sheet. [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/11/14/episode-1191-redistribution-of-xp/ Religion: Okay]].
* ''Webcomic/TheTrenches'':
-->'''Manager:''' Ever been arrested?
-->'''Isaac:''' Once.
-->'''Manager:''' What for?
-->'''Isaac:''' Breaking the law.
* In ''Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor'' Quentyn stumbles into his parent's kitchen to find Squidge, the bogey, sitting in the middle of a pie, snarfing it down doublehanded.
-->'''Quentyn:''' Squidge, what are you doing here?
-->'''Squidge:''' ''(looking around)'' Eatin' pie.
-->'''Quentyn:''' No, I mean -- why are you in my mother's kitchen?
-->'''Squidge:''' 'Cause that where pie ''is.''
* ''WebComic/CyanideAndHappiness'' loves these:
-->'''Alien:''' Thank you for repairing my ship, human. You may ask me one question.
-->'''Man:''' Can it be about anything?
-->'''Alien:''' Yes. ''(disappears)''
** and a variation
-->'''Yellow Shirt''' What's wrong?
-->'''Green Shirt''' My Uncle died of a heart attack.
-->'''Yellow Shirt''' Jeez, I'm sorry, my heart goes out to your family.
-->'''Green Shirt''' Really could of used that yesterday.
** and another one
-->'''Cyan Shirt''' What are you reading?
-->'''Green Shirt''' A book.
* ''Webcomic/GuildedAge'':
-->'''Gravedust''': How did you sleep last night?
-->'''Frigg''': By puttin my head down on a pillow.
* Subverted in one of the extra strips of ''{{Webcomic/Paranatural}}''.
-->'''Max''': Mr. Starchman, can I go to the bathroom?\\
'''Mr. Starchman''': CAN you go to the bathroom?\\
'''Max''': Uh... may I go to the bathroom?\\
'''Mr. Starchman''': MAY you go to the bathroom?\\
''[Cut to the classroom turned into a mess, the teacher screaming while ripping his shirt open and the kids kneeling on the floor with their hands on their heads.]''\\
* In ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge'', when Walky gives Dorothy flowers:
--> '''Walky''': Do you like them or is this just kinda cheesy?
--> '''Dorothy''': Yes.
* ''Webcomic/FullFrontalNerdity'' has [[http://ffn.nodwick.com/?p=1256 this exchange]]:
-->'''Frank:''' Lewis's character [will] become the random misfortune death-god.
-->'''Shawn:''' Do you pray to him to ''get'' that kind of death or to ''avoid'' it?
-->'''Lewis:''' Yes.
* [[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2113 This]] ''Webcomic/DinosaurComics'' strip has the following exchange:
-->'''Dromiceiomimus:''' What's 11 divided by 34.1?
-->'''T-Rex:''' Um... a number?
-->'''Utahraptor: ''' Ah, the "not wrong but also not meaningfully correct" route!
-->'''T-Rex: ''' It's technically correct!
-->'''Utahraptor: ''' I believe you'll find someone who takes the risk of being wrong is preferred to someone who is never wrong but never says anything worth saying.
* ''Webcomic/{{JL8}}'':
--> '''[[Franchise/WonderWoman Diana]]:''' Wait, why are you giving [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Bruce]] flirty faces?
--> '''[[ComicBook/PowerGirl Karen Starr]]:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Um, because]] I '''LIKE''' him. '''''[[BoldInflation DUH.]]'''''
--> '''Diana:''' Because you like ''him'', or [[GoldDigger you like the fact]] that he owns '''[[AllGirlsLikePonies horses?]]'''
--> ''({{beat}})''
--> '''Karen:''' Yes.
* ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'':
--> '''DAVE:''' you might want to get your ass in gear
--> '''DAVE:''' shits going down on lofaf
--> '''ROSE:''' Could you elaborate?
--> ''(closeup on Dave's mouth)''
--> '''DAVE:''' theres problems
--> '''ROSE:''' Then let us bounce.
* ''Webcomic/ChildrenOfEldair'': An exchange seen [[http://www.eldair.com/gallery.php?imgID=203 here]].
-->'''Indri''': I like a man who's good at what he does. \\
'''Kian''': Being a cad? Or using my muscles for dubious purposes? \\
'''Indri''': Yes.
* From ''Webcomic/XWhy'', the math teachers employ a little [[http://xwhy.comicgenesis.com/d/20110518.html Coffee Logic.]]
* Becomes the cause of an attack that causes the death of four people in a ''WebComic/StandStillStaySilent'' flashback.
--> "It's the most recent scout report for the site of the attack. It's improperly filled out. And quite vague. The section for area details merely says 'Yes'".

[[folder:Web Original]]
* The Frequently Given Answers page makes a [[http://homepage.ntlworld.com/jonathan.deboynepollard/FGA/questions-with-yes-or-no-answers.html serious attempt]] to inform unsuspecting answer-seekers how to avoid this trope, when asking questions of places frequented mainly by the overly literal.
* [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony's]] take on the changes to Yuna between ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX'' and ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2''.
-->'''Spoony:''' Quite a long way from the traditional kimono she wore before, and her previous characterization as a kind, demure, religious care-giver with a tragic fate. But is this huge change in outfit and characterization because of the radical cultural shift in Spira because of the exposure of Yevon as a maniacal, genocidal cult run by the undead bent on world domination... or just because Japanese perverts want to see some cleavage and her cute ass in boyshorts? Good question... The answer is "Yes".
* ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'':
-->'''Butarega:''' King Vegeta, I have urgent news!\\
'''King Vegeta:''' Speak, Butarega.\\
'''Butarega:''' Bardock has gone absolutely mad, Sire!\\
'''Bardock:''' ''(off in the distance)'' FREEZA!!\\
'''King Vegeta:''' What's all the commotion about?\\
'''Butarega:''' He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta!\\
'''King Vegeta:''' Wait, my son, [[{{Egopolis}} the planet]], or me?\\
'''Butarega:''' ...[[KillEmAll Yes]].\\
''(Butarega is blasted by King Vegeta)''\\
'''King Vegeta:''' [[OffingTheMouth Freakin' smartass]].
* The main character of ''AskANinja'' loves to do this, especially during the "Omnibus" episodes.
-->'''Question''': What is integral theory?\\
'''Ninja''': Complicated.\\
'''Question''': Of all the ninja skills in the world, which is the deadliest?\\
'''Ninja''': The one that kills you.
* In Episode 9 of WebVideo/RedLetterMedia's ''Best of the Worst'', the group's initial enjoyment of ''Film/TheAmazingBulk'', as Mike explains, is quickly extinguished by the question of whether the movie is a sincere attempt to make a visually stylized film in the vein of ''Film/SinCity'', an intentionally SoBadItsGood movie in an effort to rival the popularity of ''Film/{{Birdemic}}'' or ''Film/TheRoom'', or the straight {{mockbuster}} it appears to be.
--> '''Jay''': The answer is yes.
--> '''Mike''': Which one?
--> '''Jay''': Mmhmm.
* Geoff from Creator/AchievementHunter is fond of these, from time to time. For instance, in a heated game of Halo 4:
--> '''Ray''': ''(after Geoff kills him)'' "What?!"
--> '''Geoff''': "Uh, that was me killing you."
--> '''Ray''': "Yeah, thanks, but with what?"
--> '''Geoff''': "With a gun."
--> '''Ray''': "Thanks man."
* Website/NotAlwaysRight
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/parts-laboring-the-obvious/18232 This]] exchange:
--->'''Customer:''' I need a tire for a 2010 Honda Accord.
--->'''Me:''' What do you have on there now?
---> '''Customer:''' A flat tire.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/at-least-this-customer-is-honest/38 This]] customer.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/candid-camera-candid-answer/3721 This one too.]] What does your camera take? Pictures!
* ''WebVideo/AskThatGuyWithTheGlasses'' sometimes gives these answers.
-->'''Q''': Are there any "dead" celebrities that you think are actually still alive?
-->'''A''': Yes.
* During [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara's]] "That Guy With The Hat" sketch (parodying ''WebVideo/AskThatGuyWithTheGlasses'' (mentioned above), "Can you tell me how to get back onto the freeway?" is answered "NO."
* ''Literature/SkippysList'' offers the following.
--> '''Skippy's Roommate:''' Is that a squid in our shower?\\
'''Skippy:''' Yep.\\
'''Skippy's Roommate:''' What's it doing in there?\\
'''Skippy:''' Thawing.\\
'''Skippy's Roommate:''' Goodnight.
* ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony''. "Sister Angst" opens with Rarity's parents paying her house an unscheduled visit. At the episode's end, she finds they're still in her kitchen:
-->'''Rarity:''' What are you two still doing here?\\
'''Magnum:''' Sitting down?\\
'''Rarity:''' Get out of my house.
* In ''Q&A With Matt #3'' by [[WebVideo/MatthewSantoro Matt Santoro]], Matt is asked by a fan where he gets his fancy shirts from, and he says the store.
* Creator/TerryPratchett, explaining the ''Literature/JohnnyMaxwellTrilogy'' on [[{{Usenet}} alt.fan.pratchett]]:
-->So: is what happens in the books real? Yes. Does it all happen in Johnny's head? Yes. Are the Dead a metaphor? Yes. Are they real? Yes. Not just waving, but particalling."
* ''WebVideo/DontHugMeImScared'' has one of these in the fourth episode. When Collin asks the puppets where they live, Duck Guy answers "My house".

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'': Fred Fredburger once resolved a court case by saying "yes" to an either-or question, resulting in both parties winning. [[TheFool This was not on purpose]].
** Another episode has Billy and Irwin [[ItMakesSenseInContext sucked into Cthulhu's world through a supernatural phone, leaving only their shoes behind]]. Mandy questions the latter part, with Grim giving a [[RealityEnsues realistic answer]] [[VoodooShark that still doesn't explain why they or the rest of their clothes could go in]].
--> '''Mandy''': Why didn't their shoes go too?
--> '''Grim''': Shoes can't fit through the phone, silly, they're way too big!
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
** A very funny example by the mayor of Quahog Adam West:
-->'''Adam West''': Will you answer one question for me?
-->'''Medium''': Yes
-->'''Adam West''': Thank you so much.
** West himself loves doing this:
--> '''Tricia Takanawa''': Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
--> '''Adam West''': Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one.
** He has it done to him in "E Peterbus Unum'':
-->''(Peter is dancing in the park and generally causing a commotion.)''\\
'''Adam West:''' What in God's name is he doing?!\\
'''Cleveland:''' I believe it's called the Worm.
** In one episode, when filling out a hospital form, upon reaching "Sex", Peter wrote "No, thank you".
* In one episode of ''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show]]'', Charlie Brown regains consciousness on a sidewalk as two little kids watch. Charlie gets up and asks one of the kids, "Where am I?" One of the kids points to him and says, "Right there!"
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'': In the GrandFinale, a conflicted Aang calls upon the spirits of his four most recent incarnation, Avatars Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk and Yangchen, to advise him on whether he should kill Ozai. All of the Avatar spirits gave a Mathematician's Answer of one sort or another; Roku's advice is to "be decisive", Kyoshi said "only justice will bring peace", Kuruk said to "actively shape the fate of the world", and Yangchen said "do whatever it takes to protect the world". All of these apply equally accurately to either killing Ozai or any number of other options that might have been attempted, though Aang regards them as being implicit endorsements of killing. In the end, [[spoiler: a Lion Turtle taught him Energybending, which Aang used to strip Ozai of his Firebending and render him powerless, instead of killing him]].
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'', Korra's cousin Eska has this exchange with Bolin shortly after they meet.
-->'''Eska''': You amuse me. I will make you mine.\\
'''Bolin''': You mean like a boyfriend or a slave?\\
'''Eska''': Yes. Now win me prizes.
* ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle'' provides us with another example. Boris, in one of his {{Paper Thin Disguise}}s, needs Bullwinkle to go to a particular location. His scheme is to have Bullwinkle win a trip in a contest. The trick, then, is to get the [[TheDitz exceedingly dense]] Bullwinkle to actually give the correct answer to a question, which he finally accomplishes with this exchange.
-->'''Boris''': Do you know who is buried in Grant's tomb?
-->'''Bullwinkle''': No.
-->'''Boris''': That's right, you don't!
* In ''[[WesternAnimation/TotalDrama Total Drama World Tour]]'' while lost in a desert in Egypt:
-->'''Heather:''' Does anyone know where we are?
-->'''[[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Izzy:]]''' Plant Earth, silly.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** A variation on the theme, but still very much holds the original idea: In "Homer's Enemy", when Bart and Milhouse get their own warehouse, Milhouse is left behind as a night watchman. Bart comes back the next day to find the place destroyed.
--->'''Bart:''' Milhouse, how could you let this happen? You were supposed to be the night watchman!
--->'''Milhouse:''' I was watching. I saw the whole thing. First it started falling over, then it fell over.
** Homer managed one of these accidentally in "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk":
-->'''Horst:''' You've been safety inspector for three years. What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time?
-->'''Homer:''' Uh... all of them?
-->'''Fritz:''' You must have lots of ideas for the future?
-->'''Homer:''' I sure do!
* On an episode of ''WesternAnimation/GarfieldAndFriends'' in a ComicStrip/USAcres segment, Wade is being his usual cowardly self, this time about seeing a doctor. Orson tries to reassure him, but Roy can't miss an opportunity to have a laugh at his expense.
-->'''Orson:''' What a minute. You're not a surgeon Roy.
-->'''(Doctor)Roy:''' I operated on a man just yesterday.
-->'''Orson:''' For what?
-->'''Roy:''' For 900 dollars.
-->'''Orson:''' No, no. What did the man have?
-->'''Roy:''' 900 dollars.
-->'''Orson:''' No, I mean what did you remove?!
-->'''Roy(playing with a ball and paddle):''' The 900 dollars.
-->'''Orson:''' No! What was his complaint?!
-->'''Orson and Roy:''' The 900 dollars.
-->'''Orson:''' OK Roy, you carve.
* From ''WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters'', the episode ''[[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0809025/ No One Comes To Lupusville]]'':
-->'''Lita:''' (offers Egon a turnip) Turnip?
-->'''Egon:''' Yes, it is.
* The ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead'' episode "Customers Suck" has a customer in Burger World ask if the shakes are made from real milk and ice cream or shake mix. Beavis just says "Yeah."
* In the ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' episode "Culture Shock", [=SpongeBob=] asks Squidward which brand of soap he should use: Mr. Cleanser or [[BlandNameProduct Dr. Clean]]? Squidward's response: "Yes."
* Fred the squirrel from ''WesternAnimation/ThePenguinsOfMadagascar'', being LiteralMinded incarnate, has a bit of a problem with this. If he's asked if he can read something, he'll say "yes". If someone asks him to show them the town, he'll just point to the nearest buildings.
* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'' co-creator Dan Povenmire was asked by a fan on Twitter "What is Ferb short for?" He [[https://twitter.com/DanPovenmire/status/398613075290378240 responded]], "Brevity's sake."
** Another episode has Candace giving this kind of answer when [[LoonyFan Irving]] stops by:
-->'''Irving:''' (knocks on the door) "Can I see [Phineas and Ferb]?"
-->'''Candace:''' "Probably not from there." (closes the door)
* Used to answer an actual math question in an episode of ''Main/LittleBear'' when Little Bear and Emily rope the 4 local {{Playful Otter}}s into playing school with them. After trying to teach them how to count, Emily asks the otters how many of them there are. They each answer "1" -- because "each of us is 1 otter!" There's a beat before Little Bear admits, "That's true..."
* In the ''WesternAnimation/ThreeTwoOnePenguins'' episode "Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn", when Jason asks where they're going, Kevin ponders briefly before answering "Up."
* ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse'' gives us:
-->'''Penfold:''' You mean, we're lost?!
-->'''Danger Mouse:''' Nonsense, Penfold. If we were lost, we wouldn't know where we are. And ''we'' know we're ''here!'' Therefore, we can't be lost.
-->'''Penfold:''' Oh! Thank goodness for that!

* Dictionaries and encyclopedias tend to do this if you look up the wrong form of the word you're hoping to define.
-->'''Disappropriation''': ''n''. The act of disappropriating.
* Once when somebody asked James Randi how had he pulled off a trick, he answered "Very well, I think".
* From an old Creator/MarvelComics trading card:
--> '''Spider-Man''': So your name is Logan. Is that your first or last name?
--> '''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}''': Yup.
** At the time, Wolverine's real name had yet to be revealed. He sometimes went by "Logan L. Logan". Guess what the "L." stands for.
* A kōan of Zen Buddhism reads: A monk asked Zhàozhōu, "Does a dog have Buddha nature or not?" Zhàozhōu said, "Wú." This is a rare example in which the mathematician's answer is actually the most useful one. Wú essentially means "null",[[note]]or in trope-speak, a FlatWhat[[/note]] the point being that the monk asking the question is wrong to assume that the two dichotomous categories have any meaning.
** [[DontExplaintheJoke Wú is also the sound a dog makes.]]
* The Creator/EddieIzzard example so beloved of this page:
--> '''Paris:''' Dad, found [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_of_Troy this woman]]!
--> '''Priam:''' Whoa, where's she from?
--> '''Paris:''' She's from Sparta!
--> '''Priam:''' ...Agh, you twit. Nip upstairs, see if there are any ships on the horizon.
--> '''Paris:''' Right. [''he does''] Uhh... Ships. Yeah, yeah, there's ships.
--> '''Priam:''' Well, how many?
--> '''Paris:''' *thinking noises* ...{{all of them}}.
* The proper way to choose a cantaloupe has been described as: smell it, and if it smells like a cantaloupe, it is ripe enough. But it ''is'' a cantaloupe, so by definition, whatever it smells like, is what a cantaloupe smells like. Therefore, the only logical answer to "Does it smell like a cantaloupe?" is "Yes".
** The provided description actually implies that an unripe cantaloupe does not smell anything at all.
*** Which is why outside of the U.S. they are known as a musk mellon. A proper cantaloupe as recognized by the rest of the world can't even be found in the U.S.
* Creator/RobinWilliams in his stand-up act when talking about calling tech support. When finally reaching a real person (who is [[OperatorFromIndia Indian]]), this exchange takes place:
-->'''Caller:''' (''overjoyed'') Where are you!?
-->'''Tech support assistant:''' (''heavy Indian accent'') I am on the phone with you.
* Back in about 2003, when Mark & Lard were still doing an afternoon show on BBC Radio 1, they used to run a phone-in quiz vaguely about music. Once, one of the questions was, "Can you name a member of Boyzone?" One of the callers jumped in with, "No." Technically, it was a correct answer...
* If you got here from InternetBackdraft, you're probably wondering why "[[VideoGame/{{Portal}} the cake is a lie]], but pi is always true". The point of the joke is that in many settings, especially computer programming, "false" is represented by the value 0 and "true" by any other value. Pi isn't zero, so it's true. A related joke quoted on Bash.org:
-->(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
-->(alec_eso): 1, morganj
-->(morganj): bastard.
** Zero divided by zero gains some {{Fridge Brilliance}} because of this. [[note]]Ignoring the obvious undetermined error and following all the other division rules, 0 ÷ 0 = 1 , and since any value other than zero means 'true'... [[/note]]
* Dara Ó Briain did a bit about this in one of his stand-up shows, when the audience response to the question "Do you know what Moore's Law is?" was 'yes'.
* There is a story about actress Creator/MaeWest, who was famous for playing TheVamp.
-->'''Interviewer''': Do you like your men short, tall, fat, or thin?
-->'''Mae West''': [[ReallyGetsAround Yes]].
* Then there's the old retort to "Can I ask you a question?" "You just did."
** If someone is fond of being a smartass with this one, try asking them "May I ask you another question after this one?"
** During the trial arc of ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', the company lawyer manages, through convoluted wordplay, to ask if [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-07-16 he can ask a question without, in fact, asking a question]]. Petey, duly impressed with this feat, allows it.
* The "A or B? Yes" joke works in most languages because it's rather typical that only one word is used for both meanings of "or". It doesn't work in languages where there are separate words for them, for example Finnish ("tai" / "vai". The former means "or" as in "is it either A or B?" and the latter as in "which one is it: A or B?") In fact, Finnish also has a third word for "or": "eli" meaning specifically "also known as" or "in other words". One wonders if the early Finns just really hated the "or" jokes.
** It's also difficult in [[UsefulNotes/ChineseLanguage Mandarin]], but for a completely different reason: Chinese does not have all-purpose words for "yes" and "no" (although 是 "is" and 不是 "is not" are now used to serve the purpose), instead attaching positive or negative modifiers to the verb in question. If someone asks you even a single-mode question, like "Have you eaten" (吃 饭 了 "chī fàn le?"), you have to say, 还 没 吃 “Méi chī le” (have not eaten) or "chī le" (already ate). ...Okay, people will still throw around 不 "bù" without an attached verb, same as how English speakers will say "Went to the store" with only an implied subject, but it's still a bit harder to be ambiguous.
** This also applies to Irish. Continuing the example, one would answer the question "Ar ith tú?" (did you eat?) with "D'ith mé" (I ate) or "Níor ith mé" (I did not eat). Though, for practical purposes, the positive and negative modifiers in the continuous present tense of the verb to be ("bí") often serve the role of yes and no ("tá" or "sea" and "níl" or "ní hea" respectively). [[labelnote:Pronunciation Note]]"Taw" (rhymes with how an American says "law"), "sha" (rhymes with "cat"), "kneel", "knee ha" (rhymes with "cat").[[/labelnote]].
** The Indonesian language makes the standard mathematician's answer to "A or B?" a valid answer: If asked between A or B, saying yes implies agreeing to the latter, since it is said last. Most people will attempt to reconfirm afterwards, but those particularly mean-spirited/in the mood for pranks wouldn't, and will stick to their guns when asked about it.
** The UsefulNotes/{{Japanese|Language}} word for "yes", はい "hai", can mean either "yes" or "mhm, I'm listening". People doing business in Japan are regularly alerted to pay close attention to the context to avoid misunderstandings, since they won't always get a direct "no" to a proposition.
* This is the reason some computer languages have the XOR keyword. "OR" evaluates to "true" if ''at least one'' of a set of options is true; "XOR" requires that ''exactly'' one be true.
** In formal logic this is generally referred to as having an or (exclusive) and or (inclusive) operator. Most forms of symbolic logic shorthand have both, written longhand the former is usually constructed as "either... or..." and the latter as "... and/or ...". If the phrase is just written "or" the assumption is usually inclusive, though in less formal English obviously it's more context-sensitive.
** Interestingly enough, this can still lead to a Mathematician's Answer. '''Q:''' "Is it black XOR white?" '''Yes:''' it's either one or the other. '''No:''' it's either both or neither.
** Nick Hudson, in ''Modern Australian Usage'' under "or" reports:
--> ...in the early days of flying between Melbourne and Sydney, passengers were asked "Tea or coffee?" twice. (1) The first time, the correct answer was "Yes" (which got you the cup) or "No." (2) The second time, the answer was "Coffee" or "Tea" (which got the cup filled. (3) If you were then asked whether you wanted to visit the "flight deck or cockpit" the answer was again yes or no, because no other choice was being offered; they were simply two terms for the same part of the aircraft.
* You've probably met the occasional smartass who thought they were funny by using these. "What's for lunch?" "Food."
** "What's up?" "The opposite of down/The ceiling/The sky/It depends on your orientation/etc."
* Teachers see a '''lot''' of these, from students who can't come up with a relevant answer to a test question and opt to try for a laugh instead. Another common classroom example is "How did you find the exam?" "It was on the desk when I got there."
* One that gets used a bit in direction-giving customer service roles:
--> "Where's the men's room?"
--> "Right next to the women's room."
* Several ''Burt And I'' routines took this form.
** "Why you so head-up, Tom?" "Oh, I had to shoot my dog." "Oh, was he mad?" "Guess he weren't too damn pleased."
** "I'm going up to Portland." "Go ahead. I won't stop you." "Where does this road go?" "Don't go nowhere, mister. Stays right here." "Can I take this road up to Portland?" "Well, sure...but they've got all the roads up to Portland that they need."
** "Sorry to hear they're burying your pa." "Got to. He's dead."
* According to an {{urban legend|s}}, when the notorious bank robber Willie Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, he replied "Because that's where the money is." He denied ever saying this.
* The footballer Mario Balotelli crashed his car in August 2010, with (~$8000) in the glove compartment. Asked why, he answered "Because I am rich."
* Creator/ReneMagritte painting ''TheTreacheryOfImages'', which shows a pipe with the phrase, "Ceci n'est pas une pipe," (translation: this is not a pipe) under it. It isn't a pipe; it is an ''image'' of a pipe. Later in life, Magritte made it clear that this was a Mathematician's Answer:
--> The famous pipe. How people reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture "This is a pipe," I'd have been lying!
* When asked why Mitt Romney failed to win the Presidency in 2012, Chris Christie said that the reason was simple: "He didn't get enough votes."
* Likewise, P.J. O'Rourke's riposte to Jimmy Carter's stating in a memoir that "We needed a lot more volunteers in 1980!" was "Pal, what you needed was ''votes''."
* [[http://clientsfromhell.net/post/29560499320/client-i-want-to-print-my-logo-on-a-t-shirt-me This]] conversation from Clients from Hell:
--> '''Client:''' I want to print my logo on a t-shirt\\
'''Me:''' Will the t-shirt be white or coloured?\\
'''Client:''' Yes.\\
'''Me:''' ...''Is'' it white or coloured?\\
'''Client:''' Oh! White!\\
'''Me:''' Do you want the print to last long or is it just for an event?\\
'''Client:''' OK.
* Many times when a magician is asked how a trick is done, s/he will answer "''Very'' carefully" or something similar.
* Parents of small children might find the Mathematician's Answer handy when the kids ask questions about "the birds and the bees" before they are deemed ready to know (or if the parents are just too embarrassed to answer).
--> '''Small Child''': Mommy, where did I come from?
--> '''Mom''': I already told you, dear. From Kansas City.
--> '''Older Child''': Mom, if a man and a woman want to have a baby, what do they need to do?
--> '''Mom''': Well, first they need to go out and buy a crib, a high chair, maybe a rattle, etc.
* When George Pickett was asked why Pickett's Charge (the most famous Confederate attack during UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar) had failed, his answer was simple: "I've always thought the Yankees had something to do with it."[[note]]while his answer fits well with this trope, it is at the same time quite informative: up to the battle of Gettysburg the Confederate Army were able to win their battles because their leadership and morale typically outclassed those of the Union Army; the outcome of Pickett's Charge showed that the Union Army had finally closed the gap and, in a manner of speaking, arrived on the field[[/note]]
* A letter published in the January 2014 issue of Car and Driver magazine was from a reader asking, "Can anyone tell me what Skyactiv technology actually does?" The editor's response? "Yes."
* [[http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/ This post]] collects "38 Test Answers That Are 100% Wrong But Totally Genius At The Same Time."
* If you ask a [[ManInAKilt true Scotsman]] what he is wearing under his kilt, he may answer, "Shoes."
* Hans Asperger, from whom we get UsefulNotes/AspergerSyndrome, once asked one of his subjects, a little girl who was playing with her toys, whether she could count to ten. She answered "Yes." Then she went back to playing with her toys.
* Teachers in technical writing classes will sometimes use this to demonstrate just how hard it is to write with sufficient detail. They'll ask the class to instruct them to perform some mundane task, such as making a PB&J sandwich, and interpret the instructions as literally (and incorrectly) as possible. For example, if someone says simply "put the jelly on the bread", the teacher might place the jar of jelly on top of the bag of bread. This is also common in classes on logic, formal language and programming.
* A gossip columnist sent a telegram to Creator/CaryGrant's studio asking "How Old Cary Grant?" Grant sent a reply telegram saying "Old Cary Grant Fine. How You?"
* During the 1896 Olympic Games, the Hungarian swimmer Alfréd Hajós won two gold medals. During a dinner honoring the winners, the Crown Prince of Greece asked Hajós where he had learned to swim so well. Hajós answered "In the water".
* One clever response to an online pickup: a guy asks a girl to send him a picture of her in a bikini. So she gets a photograph of herself, places it in a bunched-up swimsuit, and sends a picture of it all.
* Retail employees may recognize this;
-->'''Sales Associate:''' Can I help you?
-->'''Customer:''' (grinning) Only if you have any free money.
-->'''Sales Associate:''' ''[[[NeverHeardThatOneBefore strained smile]]]''
* At a ''Series/BattlestarGalacticaReimagined'' conference, someone asked star Creator/JamieBamber, "How many people would you kill so that you could be on ''Series/DoctorWho''?"
--> "None. Because that would be murder. And then I'd go to prison and I wouldn't be able to be on ''Series/DoctorWho''. ({{Beat}}). Duh."
->It's a third person singular neuter pronoun, [[Film/{{Airplane}} but that's not important right now.]]