[[quoteright:200:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/kermode_6080.bmp]]

Mark Kermode (born 1963) is an English film critic who reviews films on [[TheBBC BBC Radio 5 Live]], instantly recognizable by his 1950s haircut, his [[Series/TheThickOfIt huge flappy hands]], his love for classic horror and his hatred of most other movies in general.

He is, however, most renowned for his rants. He can go on and on about how terrible a movie is with an uncanny verbal virtuosity and a MotorMouth to give [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]] a run for his money. His fanbase has coined the term "Kermodian" for a particularly vicious rant.

Kermode maintains a video blog called [[http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/ Kermode Uncut]], in which he discusses film in general. He occasionally sits down to react on comments made on his blog, and he is fair minded enough to quote his detractors as well as his fans.

He has also written a memoir, entitled ''It's Only A Movie'' (a ShoutOut to his favourite film, ''Film/TheExorcist''). Which he followed up later with ''The Good, the Bad and the Multiplex'' which... errr... [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin does what it says on the tin]].

In unrelated news, he also plays the double bass in a skiffle band called The Dodge Brothers.
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!!Tropes associated with Mark Kermode:

* ThreeDMovie: Mark is a vocal hater of the phenomenon and will go out of his way to let you know. You might think you like 3D, but Mark is here to tell you you are wrong about that.
** [[spoiler: That is, until he saw ''Film/{{Gravity}}''.]] See OOCIsSeriousBusiness.
* AscendedMeme: In an offhand comment on ''[[PercyJackson Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief]]'', which Mark considered far to similar to Franchise/HarryPotter, he said they might as well have called it "Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins". Guess what? [[http://benjaminsniddlegrass.blogspot.com/ Somebody actually went and made that movie]]. [[StuntCasting And got]] StephenFry [[StuntCasting to narrate]].
** The comments on Mark's hands. Initially an off-hand remark on ''Series/TheThickOfIt'', but Mayo ran away with it and years later we're still hearing about them.
* BerserkButton: His hatred of 3D crosses into this. {{Lampshaded}} by Simon Mayo: "You must tell me more about your hatred of 3D."
* BMovie: The quick way into his heart is to make good, B-Movie, popcorn plot and dialogue work ''well'' on screen. Yes, he also loves high concept art house offerings you've probably never heard of, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love a bit of good, solid fun, too.
* TheCastShowOff: His video blogs often start with a snippet of music from The Dodge Brothers.
* CatchPhrase:
** "I'm right and you're wrong."
** "I want to be absolutely clear about this..."
** "Hello to Jason Isaacs!" (David Morrissey, Stephen Fry, Fairport Convention, etc.)
* CausticCritic: A fine intellect powers a sharp tongue, aided by powerful lungs. Mark combines an natural ability to take personal offence to a film with an acidic wit and an encyclopedic knowledge of film.
* CompletelyDifferentTitle: The German for dilemma is "dilemma". So naturally in Germany ''TheDilemma'' is shown as ''Dickste Freunde'' -- which means ''Fat Friends''. Or less literally ''Best Friends''. This inexplicable transmogrification was riffed on by Mark and Simon. Simon thought Dickste Freunde might have stared in some straight-to-video erotic thrillers.
-->'''Mark''': Wally Pfister shoots Dickste Freunde, in ''The Fat Friends''!
* EstablishingCharacterMoment / EurekaMoment: Mark calls particularly clunky examples in biopics "Chubby? Hmmm..." moments, after a moment in a {{biopic}} of The Music/{{Carpenters}} when Karen Carpenter is described as being "chubby".
* DeadpanSnarker: A given for a CausticCritic such as Mark. Sometimes Mark goes into SnarkToSnarkCombat with Simon.
* FanBoy: Though he'll say he isn't, its obvious he has a love for directors such as Creator/WesCraven, [[Film/TheExorcist William]] [[Film/TheFrenchConnection Fredkin]], Creator/GuillermoDelToro and Creator/ChristopherNolan.
* FinishingEachOthersSentences: Mayo does this - or at least he can guess the essence of Mark's review solely from the tone Mark uses when naming the film.
* {{Foil}}: Simon Mayo, his co-host and resident DeadpanSnarker on 5 live. Our thoughts go with you.
* FourthWallMailSlot: The video responses to the comments on his blog.
* GrammarNazi: He likes to correct listeners' emails, though Mayo sometimes calls him on this. On this Mayo sometimes calls him. Mayo on this calls him sometimes?
* HeroesLoveDogs: During his rant on ''MarleyAndMe'', Dr. K goes on a small tangent about how much he loves dogs. He even starts tearing up, [[RantInducingSlight only for him to outright deny it has nothing to do with the movie.]]
* HeroicBSOD: As you can see from [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNx-8wgUaMY this episode]] of ''Kermode Uncut'', he suffers this after watching ''[[TheHangover The Hangover: Part III]]''.
* IllTakeThatAsACompliment: When Creator/WernerHerzog called him "Too intellectually warped" to be objective about 3D cinema, naturally Kermode was thrilled.
* InAWorld: Frequently parodied, with a silly deep American accent (see below).
* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: It's KER-mode, sounding in no way like Commode.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Mark can be a very snarky divisive arse, but all in all, he just wants good cinema and is very polite with guests, even if the film isn't up to his standards.
* TheKnightsWhoSaySquee: Kermode has [[http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/2012/03/kermode_uncut_star_power.html blogged]] about being starstruck around various guests on the show (in this case it was Creator/DavidTennant, and he was in America and couldn't be there in person). Probably his biggest moment was with legendary SFX designer and director of ''SilentRunning'' and ''{{Brainstorm}}'' Douglas Trumbull on the 'phone, which was ten minutes of Kermode's barely contained adoration.
* LargeHam: He loves to ham it up if he's parodying something. His wrath at bad movies however is perfectly genuine.
* LikeAnOldMarriedCouple: With Mayo. Kermode himself made the comparison.
-->'''Mark Kermode''' (reviewing ''Film/SherlockHolmes''): They're like an bickering old couple, in which one of them is a [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything big-mouthed, and full of himself]] --
-->'''Simon Mayo''': And he's got [[RunningGag big hands]].
-->'''Mark Kermode''': -- big hands, and he's completely unable to pay the correct compliments to the other one. The other one is the reasonable jelly who somehow holds it all together. Shall we hear a clip?
** Lampshaded again on March 25th, 2011. In response to a listener complaining about her husband not listening to her opinion on films anymore:
-->'''Simon Mayo''': "This is for the sake of marital harmony"
-->'''Mark Kermode''': What, ours?
-->''Later''.
-->'''Simon Mayo''': Always listen to your wife...far more than listen to us.
-->'''Mark Kermode''': Can I just say that as far as this particular radio relationship is concerned you ''never'' listen to your wife.
-->''A long pause. Then, later, as Simon reads a listener's review:''
-->'''Simon Mayo''': ...worth a view if you want to please your other half.
-->'''Mark Kermode''': What does that mean?
-->'''Simon Mayo''': I don't know -- I imagine he's saying --
-->'''Mark Kermode''': Are you pleased that I saw it?
-->'''Simon Mayo''': ...Can you just stop that kind of line of thought?
** Even ''Creator/RobertRedford'' commented on this when he was a guest, much to the live audience's amusement.
** Mark and Simon identify themselves as Newt and Hermann from ''PacificRim''.
*** And as Holmes and Watson (from the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsxscxZeNpY&feature=kp review]] for the first Ritchie film).
* ManOfAThousandVoices: Very much averted, if only he knew. While he attempts many impressions of actors, they all sound very much alike, and not much like the impersonated. Mayo often calls him on this, as do his fans. Mark isn't above {{lampshading}} it. They are often funnier than a good impression would be. Especially of Danny Dyer.
* MeanBrit: Oh so much.
* MostAnnoyingSound: In-universe. There's quite a few of these for Mark, but nothing comes close to the screams from ''[[{{WebVideo/Fred}} Fred The Movie]]''.
* MotorMouth: Mark. All the time. At the end of the show Simon sometimes comments they have two minutes left and asks if Mark can review a film. He can.
* TheNicknamer: Just ask Orloondo Bland, [[KeiraKnightley Ikea Knightley]], [[MerylStreep Muriël Strepsil]], [[ShiaLaBeouf Snoozy La Beef]] or [[DavidBowie David Booey]].
* ObfuscatingStupidity: Simon Mayo seems to be a rather smart and well-educated man... except when his playing dumb has a chance of embarrassing Kermode in one way or another.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: In his video "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJu7Ov8IN1c An Announcement]]", Mark gives us this:
--> '''Mark''': [[spoiler:''Film/{{Gravity}}'' is worth seeing in 3D.]]
* OddCouple: With Simon Mayo. The two have been likened to a bickering married couple on several occasions.
* OneOfUs: That is, if "we" are slightly antisocial horror movie geeks.
** Considering how big our various NightmareFuel pages can get, well, like we're ones to talk... He's also quite happy to use the words "trope" and "MacGuffin" with malice aforethought and will just pile that malice on when any poor, unsuspecting trope has been just plain misused near him. Nothing bugs him more than an abused trope.[[labelnote:Note]]Unless it's abusing the whole medium of film with pointless 3D and crappy projection, of course...[[/labelnote]] Also, heaven help you if you don't appreciate ''TheExorcist'', the {{Troperiffic}} ''ThePrincessBride'' and anything by Creator/GuillermoDelToro. You are so going to be locked out the loop. See [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9lDgbrqRPI Mark's explanation]] of why ''PacificRim'' is so much better than ''{{Film/Transformers}}''. Very much one of us.
** He's also a Whovian.
* PetTheDog: His desire to see filmmakers treat female characters with intelligence and respect.
* TheRant: Part and parcel of why some ([[JustHereForGodzilla OK... most]]) tune in. Although, the not-going-to-rant-about rants that then go on to thoroughly skewer, deconstruct and stomp on pointless plot-lines, characterisations and gimmicks at length are usually the classic ones. "Kermodian" is a description for a reason. Beware, however, expecting him to rant on what you would otherwise consider a dead cert going on the trailer, poster, production posse and premise of an upcoming film alone. He's amongst the first to remind you that TropesAreTools and that you should NeverTrustATrailer.
* RecurringCharacter: Favourite and frequent guest JasonIsaacs.
* [[RedOniBlueOni Red Oni]] to Mayo's [[RedOniBlueOni Blue Oni]].
* RunningGag:
** The references to Mark's supposedly huge hands. (They actually spring from an off-hand comment in an episode of ''Series/TheThickOfIt''.)
** Listeners saying hello to JasonIsaacs, sometimes in somewhat bizarre circumstances.
** Danny Dyer! Danny Dyer! A-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, Danny Dyer!
** "Listeners writing in to the FourthWallMailSlot giving their qualifications along with their name" -- ''Joe Bloggs, [=BSc=] Geology.''
* SharpDressedMan: For the most part, Dr. K is always wearing pretty nifty suits.
* SitcomArchNemesis: Danny Dyer like to this of himself as this. Mark doesn't really care.
* SmallReferencePools: Completely inverted. Kermode will frequently refer to obscure movies, directors or actors while reviewing a particular film. Part of Mayo's job is to get him to explain who, or what, he's talking about:
-->'''Mark''': ''(On TheHumanCentipede II)'' It had me longing for the glory days of Jörg Buttgereit and the shorts that he made before he made ''Film/{{Nekromantik}}''...
-->'''Simon''': Just remind me about him?
** Played straight outside of films -- invariably Mark hasn't seen the TV series/Read the book. His knowledge of sport appears only to that which has been featured in film.
*** And ''[[{{Wimbledon}} Man In A Blue Suit Watches A Tennis Match]]''.
* DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible: Mark's watched classics and bad movies alike, but this is his view on ''Film/JohnCarter'', ''Keith Lemon: The Film'', ''SexAndTheCity 2'', ''Film Socialisme'', ''Human Centipede'' (1 and 2), ''Film/TheHangover Part 2'', ''Film/ASerbianFilm'', the Creator/MichaelBay ''{{Film/Transformers}}'' films, ''New Year's Eve'' and, oddly enough, the ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' franchise.
** Although Mark will challenge anybody claiming that a modern blockbuster movie is the "Worst Film Ever" to come to his house and watch some of his obscure erotic and horror movie video tapes to see the ''real'' worst films ever made; "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell", "Over-Sexed Rug Suckers From Mars", and "SS Experiment Camp" being some named examples.
* SoCoolItsAwesome: On the flipside, we can include such works like ''Film/TheExorcist'', ''Film/{{Inception}}'', ''Film/PansLabyrinth'', ''Film/MaryPoppins'', ''TheHungerGames'', ''Film/{{Brazil}}'', ''Film/{{Gravity}}'' and ''Film/PacificRim'' for instance. Also ''DoctorWho''.
* StockBritishPhrases: In contrast to his usual well-spoken manner, he has a delightful habit of sometimes spicing up his speech with exaggerated British vernacular. For instance, he described the beginning of ''Gravity'' with "Blimey, charlie, big trub coming!"
* UnusualEuphemism: Since the Radio 5 show is broadcast in the middle of school run time the hosts will resort to some interesting phrases such as the often used 'fruitcake' for another [[ClusterFBomb word beginning with 'F']] ("Clusterfruitcake" was used once.), and 'melon-farmer' is also used as a substitute frequently. The trope is absent from his books though.
* UpToEleven: Compared the inspiration behind ''{{Transformers}} Age of Extinction'' directly to ''SpinalTap'' and "Break Like the Wind".
--> "When most people think of 'epic' they think of [[LawrenceOfArabia David Lean]], when MichaelBay thinks 'epic' he thinks of David St. Hubbins"
** He sometimes refers to this trope by name, talking about when a concept is taken UpToEleven.
* [[WittyBanter Wittertainment]]: At its most wittertaining. Comes in two flavours: either long, name-dropping laden digresses in Kermode's knowledge of movie history, or Kermode and Mayo bickering LikeAnOldMarriedCouple.
** The word "Wittertainment" became a edit war at The Other Wiki, commented on by Kermode and Mayo: Listeners believed that it was Americans, who don't hear the show, removing the entry for "lack of notability".
* [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes Why Did It Have To Be Pomegranates]] in a buried coffin, with Bono and a [[MonsterClown clown]]?
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