%% Image and caption selected per Image Pickin' thread: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1367022935012081700
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[[quoteright:350:[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ParrotTestimony_3277.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350:"Witness! You can't just say "hello" and expect us to get anywhere! I want you to ''testify''!"]]

->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Now he's afraid that she'll identify him.\\
'''Adrian Monk:''' How?\\
'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' She could bark at him.\\
'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Randy, as far as I know, in the State of California, dogs are not allowed to testify in open court.\\
'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Maybe [=DeWitt=]'s afraid they'll change the rule.\\
'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' What, change the rule against dogs testifying in court?\\
'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' I don't know, one of those referendums. It is California.\\
'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' You want to know how tired I am? I'm so tired I don't even know if that makes sense.
-->-- ''Series/{{Monk}}'', "Mr. Monk and the Dog"

A specific CourtroomAntic. An animal is called to the stand to testify. It seems that in fictional courts, [[LoopholeAbuse there is no rule against that]].

Even though most all animals cannot speak ''any'' human language, the lawyer will still find a way to prove a crucial point from the animal's behaviour.

As the page image and the name imply, the two most common animals by far to get hit with this trope are dogs and parrots, although there are plenty of other animals that have been seen in the witness stand in fictionland as well.

Not related to TropeyTheWonderDog in any way. Compare PollyWantsAMicrophone.



[[folder:Comic Books]]
* In ''ComicBook/YoungbloodJudgmentDay'' Toby "Skipper" King eventually calls to the stand Giganthro, a member of the time-travelling League of Infinity. Giganthro is a mutated caveman incapable of speaking any modern human language, though he understands well enough. Thankfully, team leader Zayla Zarn provides translation for his testimony.
* In one of Angus' short stories published in ''ComicBook/PaperinikNewAdventures'' a FunnyBackgroundEvent involves a lawyer telling a crook that a goldfish is going to testify, with the crook admitting he'd been GenreSavvy enough to try and kill it... [[WhatAnIdiot by drowning]].

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* An odd case in the ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}'' AlternateUniverseFic ''Fanfic/{{Loophole}}''. In this setting, although trolls are still nonhumans with human-level intelligence,[[note]]in canon, they'd probably argue that they're smarter than humans, but in this AU that's not shown,[[/note]] their legal and social status is somewhere between "pet" and "dangerous wild animal". So when Vriska is called up to the stand to testify about being used in a fighting ring, there's a bit of a kerfuffle.

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* The bees from ''WesternAnimation/BeeMovie''. They can actually talk, but the court had apparently not stopped to confirm that beforehand. When Barry is called to make his opening statements he starts by just making buzzing sounds as a joke.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* In ''Film/{{Bingo}}'', the title circus dog is called as a witness in a trial. His testimony causes an argument from the defense over whether a "dog point" legally counted as indicating the accused.
* In the 1994 remake of ''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet'', the prosecution brings in a reindeer as a "witness," challenging Mr. Kringle to make it fly. Kringle admits that he can't--"he only flies on Christmas Eve!" Cue laughter.
-->'''Judge''': Now will someone please remove the wit- the ''animal'' from the courtroom!
* The climax of the movie ''Born to be Wild'' has the titular female gorilla being called to testify about the conditions she's forced to live in. She does with the help of a sign language translator.
* In the Three Stooges short subject, "Disorder in the Court," a parrot's courtroom "find the letter!" solves the crime. Especially since the letter's tied around the parrot's foot.
* Played for laughs in the 1967 ''Film/DoctorDolittle.'' The authorities are questioning whether the Doctor is sane and can ''really'' talk to animals. One of Dr. Dolittle's moves is to put the judge's ''dog'' on the stand! (Did the judge have five or six pieces of pie?)
* ''Film/ForgettingSarahMarshall'': Played for laughs in a ShowWithinAShow, where Sarah Marshall plays an animal psychic detective.
* The talking "dictabird" in ''Film/TheFlintstones'' is treated as a powerful witness against the CorruptCorporateExecutive villain. The villain dies a KarmicDeath rather than ever making it to trial, but apparently there is no reason why the bird couldn't have testified. (Something of a [[DeconstructedTrope deconstruction]] of the ways that similar animal-tools are treated on the cartoon, in which a talking dinosaur will make some joke about its situation, but having all these talking animals around never becomes a plot point, nor is there really any communication going on between the human characters and the animals they use.)
* In the first ''Film/AirBud'' movie, Buddy is brought into the courtroom during the trial determining who owns him. The judge is notably not pleased with this, but reluctantly allows it so long as Buddy sits quietly and behaves himself. [[FunnyMoments Buddy proceeds to bark every time the judge uses his gavel]]. Eventually, the judge gets so fed up with the case that he accepts Arthur Chaney's suggestion to [[LetHimChoose allow Buddy to choose which owner he preferred]].

* Vetinari's dog Wuffles in ''Discworld/TheTruth'' is viewed as a potential witness. It helps that they have a werewolf to translate. There is also a reference to a parrot being in witness protection, living life as a large budgerigar.
** According to Mr. Slant, a zombie lawyer who's over 300 years old and therefore knows most of the city's legal history, other animals have been put on trial as actual defendants. Including ''[[UpToEleven a swarm of bees]]''! That's Ankh-Morpork for you.[[note]]This can actually happen in real life, at least in the US, though it's a bit different than what you're probably imagining ... it's mainly a shorthand form of "v. John Doe, an unidentified owner of (thing)".[[/note]]
* A variant occurs in a Creator/IsaacAsimov short story, where US Robotics is on trial after one of their robots supposedly deliberately screwed up an important paper it was preparing for publication.[[note]]Performing the duties of a copyeditor and such.[[/note]] They request that the robot be brought to court to testify (which has no precedent and requires most of the story to resolve), and when it testifies, the claimant stands up and angrily announces that he told it to shut up...before realizing that [[BluffingTheMurderer he really shouldn't have said that]]...
* [[Literature/TheDresdenFiles Harry Dresden]]'s dog actually could, and did, testify at the end of ''Turn Coat''. And his testimony was accepted. It helps that he's a "Temple Dog" -- a magical scion of a mortal canine and a Foo dog that can detect evil and is as intelligent as a human. The court was also made up of wizards who could verify that Mouse was as intelligent as he was claimed to be.
* Not a criminal trial, but similar: at the end of ''Literature/OnAPaleHorse'', we learn that Zane's performance as Death has been found to be excellent. The testimony of Mortis, his horse, is crucial to Zane's passing the evaluation.
* In ''Literature/TheVoyagesOfDoctorDolittle'', a dog called as a witness saves an innocent man from a murder charge, thanks to the doctor's ability to understand AnimalTalk, which allows him to serve as an interpreter. First though the doctor proves he can speak to animals by interrogating the judge's dog about what was the judge doing last evening (a testimony the judge hastily interrupts, embarrassed.)
* In Creator/JamesHSchmitz's Literature/TelzeyAmberdon story "Undercurrents", a dog is placed into a telepathic probe machine during a court hearing to find out who implanted it with a kill command to try and use it as a murder weapon against its owner. It's stated that while it's not common, animals are regularly used as witnesses in this manner when it's useful to do so. Subverted in that in this particular case the dog didn't actually know anything useful, but the protagonist blackmailed the machine operator into [[FramingTheGuiltyParty providing a fake reading]] that nailed the actual culprits to the wall.
* In ''Literature/TheDogsOfBabel'', a man goes through extreme (surgical) means to get his dog to speak as it was the only witness to his wife's death. It never mentions a court, though.
** Actually, the man doesn't go though with the surgical procedure on his dog, but instead researches (to a near ridiculous extent) another man who surgically altered his dog. Not wanting to go quite to this extreme, he looks into other methods to teach his dog to talk.
* The David Sedaris essay "A Can of Worms" is about how he overheard two men in a café wishing the nematodes that survived the space shuttle ''Columbia'' disaster could talk, so that they could tell us what went wrong.
-->It sounded crazy, but I remember thinking the exact same thing about the akita in the O.J. case. "Put it on the stand, let's hear what it's got to say!" It was one of those ideas that, just for a split second, seemed entirely logical -- the one solution that nobody had thought of.
* In ''The Stray Dog and the Feral Cat'' by Yang Hongying, the titular characters are asked to testify that their friend, a pet dog, was beaten by a villain. Played for laughs mostly, but it's also important to the plot.
* In the ChivalricRomance ''Literature/{{Bisclavret}}'' -- in an era where legal proceedings were less formal -- Bisclavret, trapped in wolf form and living at the StandardRoyalCourt, fiercely attacked first the knight who had married his wife after he was so trapped, and then his wife. Since everyone at court knew what a gentle and noble beast he was, the king concluded they must have committed some crime against him and imprisoned them until they confessed.
* In Creator/AndreNorton's ''Literature/{{Catseye|1961}}'', the authorities will have the {{Uplifted Animal}}s under probes to give evidence about espionage. Then they will kill them. Or so Zul argues, telling Troy that death is a MercyKill.
* In the world of Literature/{{Xanth}} where MixAndMatchCritters and sentient animals are the norm rather than the exception, even its inhabitants think the justice system is going too far when Roxanne Roc is brought to trial for [[FelonyMisdemeanor cursing within the "hearing" range of the Simurgh's (as yet unhatched) chick]] and she is induced to testify against herself. [[spoiler: As it turns out, it was a SecretTestOfCharacter over whether the people of Xanth would choose ToBeLawfulOrGood. The Demon Xanth, who rules Xanth and gives it magic powers, bet "Lawful", whereas another demon bet "Good".]]

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/DivorceCourt'': At least one episode of the 1980s incarnation, where the custody of a dog was at stake, saw Judge William B. Keene suggest that the dog be brought into court and tell, in his own way, whom he wanted to stay with. He chose the plaintiff, a woman who had accused her husband of animal cruelty.
* ''Series/{{Matlock}}'': Matlock uses a victim's dog to prove the "witness" beat the dog within an inch of its life while committing the crime of which his client was accused of (as the dog went ballistic at the sight of the witness). He then shows the fallacy of the trope afterwards by revealing that the dog was a trained attack dog, and that it just goes ballistic.
* ''Series/LawAndOrder'': Jack [=McCoy=] has also brought a dog into a courtroom. The owners were training dogs to fight, and their defence was that they had full control over the dog, and it was a shock to them that it could ever be dangerous. In response, [=McCoy=] has the dog brought in (on a muzzle, completely under the control of animal experts) to prove the defendant had to know the dog posed a danger (as anyone who just saw the dog would conclude it was) and that keeping it made them responsible for the people it killed. The Judge does [[WhatTheHellHero call [=McCoy=] on it]] and forces [=McCoy=] to make a plea deal or he will declare a mistrial. [=McCoy=] gets his first offer by telling them he would take the mistrial instead.
* ''Series/MurderSheWrote'' episode [[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0653533/plotsummary "It's a Dog's Life."]] A dog was trained by a murderer to press a button on command, causing someone to be crushed to death by a security gate. After it was brought into court to show how it committed the act, it went over to the murderer, proving he was the one who trained it.
* In one episode of ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', Tuvok used a dog as a rebuttal witness in defense of Tom Paris (successfully, it should be noted).
** And in ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'', Kirk used some tribbles to identify the Klingon infiltrator. Not an example ''in'' a court, but it did lead to an (offscreen) trial after the end of the episode. The Tribbles were really acting as an EvilDetectingDog, so they probably weren't needed.
* In ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment'' Michael calls his brother GOB's puppet Franklin on the stand, then reveals that inside the puppet is a tape recording he made of the prosecuting attorney offering him a deal, which results in a mistrial. In a token gesture towards realism the puppet was actually on the witness list because of GOB's efforts. It also helped that it was a mock trial with Judge Reinhold as the judge.
* In the ''Series/BlackAdder'' episode 'Witchsmeller Persuivant', the titular Witchsmeller calls Blackadder's horse to testify when Blackadder is being tried for witchcraft.
* Series/EliStone has a gay chimp on the stand. Yes. Really.
* ''Series/{{Hooperman}}'' used the variant where the defendant shouts in court, "I should have killed the dog, too!" -- thus proving his own guilt.
* The ''Franchise/PerryMason'' episode "The Case of the Perjured Parrot" had a parrot (voiced by Creator/MelBlanc) that was found along with a body and kept saying one phrase over and over. Not only was the parrot called to the stand, but Perry was actually allowed to cross-examine the bird. Somewhat justified in that it was only an inquest rather than an actual criminal trial.
** Also counts as an InvokedTrope, [[spoiler:as the parrot was trained to say that phrase in order to frame Perry's client]].
* On an episode of ''Series/{{Columbo}}'', the murder victim's dog helped prove that the murderer had been to the victim's house by scratching his car door. Fortunately the dog had left unique scratch marks because it was missing a claw.
* Played with in the ''Series/{{Warehouse 13}}'' episode ''Past Imperfect''.
* [[VigilanteJustice Vigilante justice variation]]: This is how Series/{{Dexter}} finds out that [[spoiler: Leon, and not the gang's no. 2,]] was responsible for [[spoiler: Brother Sam's death]] in season 6. [[spoiler: The dog didn't bark at the assailant, as seen on the security footage. The dog normally barks at everybody.]] Of course, since he kills [[spoiler: Leon]] by [[spoiler: drowning him in the ocean]], it may count as CharacterDevelopment.
* Averted in ''To Catch A Killer'' (1992). The police notice that the tracker dog has taken the 'mourning position' over [[PunkInTheTrunk the trunk]] of SerialKiller John Wayne Gacy's car, which the dog did in a previous murder case. However they're told that in the previous case, it was not allowed as evidence.
* ''Series/MacGyver1985'': In "Rush to Judgement", Mac arranges to put a parakeet on the stand, with the elderly women who owned it acting as interpreter. In reality, the woman was the one who had witnessed the crime, but was too nervous to testify without using the bird as an intermediary.

[[folder:Music Videos]]
* Music/GoodCharlotte's video for ''Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous'' shows this during a music interlude.
-->Lawyer: Is it true that the defense, treated you ''like a dog?''
-->Dog: "Rurr..."

* One of ''Radio/ThisAmericanLife'''s annual poultry-themed episodes featured the story of a lawyer who wanted to force a psychiatrist to play tic-tac-toe against a chicken in court. She was representing a mentally ill and retarded man on death row, and the prosecution was using this psychiatrist's testimony of having been beaten by him at tic-tac-toe as evidence that he was mentally competent enough to be executed. She remembered that as a kid she'd seen tic-tac-toe-playing chickens at fairs and decided to try to get permission to bring in such a chicken to prove a point about the level of intelligence required to best the psychiatrist. In her words, "Who can doubt a chicken? You can't. A chicken isn't going to lie. Chickens have integrity."

* OlderThanFeudalism: In ''The Wasps,'' by Creator/{{Aristophanes}}, Anticleon uses a mock trial involving his pet dogs as an allegory to prove a point about the Athenian judicial system. Then the dogs actually start testifying. Then again, the defendant is also a dog (accused of stealing cheese). Since the dogs ''can'' talk, the court goes one further by calling mute inanimate objects to witness.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In the sixth mission of ''VideoGame/HitmanBloodMoney'', "You Better Watch Out...", one target's dog, which normally follows him around his suite (if not taken care of), will be listed as a witness if it sees you make the hit. This means it somehow gives police a better composite sketch...
* In a since-removed bug in ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'', the player could get arrested by the town guards if a horse or chicken saw the deed. Even if it is your own horse. Apparently, guards appreciate testimony [[{{Pun}} straight from the horse's mouth]]. [[http://awkwardzombie.com/index.php?page=0&comic=012312 This was used]] in ''Webcomic/AwkwardZombie''

[[folder:Visual Novels]]
* ''Franchise/AceAttorney'':
** Phoenix Wright at one point called a parrot to the stand in ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney''; in fact said parrot actually allowed him to turn the entire case around so fast everyone got dizzy, despite the parrot being [[spoiler:[[CrazyPrepared specifically trained by the]] BigBad not to talk about the most damning piece of evidence (in one night, no less)]].
** In ''Ultimate VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3'', Phoenix Wright is able to "cross-examine" and prove the guilt of [[VideoGame/{{Okami}} Amaterasu]] (a wolf) and [[Comicbook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy Rocket Raccoon]] (a raccoon, albeit a talking alien raccoon).
** In the DLC case of ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies'', he defends an ''orca''. [[spoiler:After the orca's trainer Sasha becomes the suspect, Phoenix later cross-examines the orca for trying to get a connection to both the current case and the events one year earlier. It goes as well as you'd expect.]] Sasha says she came to Phoenix for help specifically because she had heard about the parrot incident above -- she took the fact that he called a parrot as a witness to mean that he'd be the only lawyer willing to go out on a limb and take up an animal's defense.
** ''VideoGame/ProfessorLaytonVsPhoenixWrightAceAttorney'' sees the triumphant return of this trope. Worth noting that it wasn't Phoenix's idea this time, it was a witness's.
--->'''Phoenix:''' The defence summons its new witness, Mister Cracker the Parrot!\\
'''Judge:''' The court sees the situation as follows...\\
'''Judge:''' The witnesses' testimonies do not hold together. In fact, they are as erratic as that bard's songs.\\
'''Judge:''' I cannot see this trial getting any more confusing. Very well... The defence may summon this avian witness!
** Cheerfully subverted but referenced in ''VideoGame/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneySpiritOfJustice'', in which the trope is used by name, when the Judge asks if Phoenix is going to make Ahlbi's dog testify. Phoenix hurriedly says this wasn't his intent... (this time).

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', Blackwing (a raven) is called as a character witness in a trial. Blackwing actually [[PollyWantsAMicrophone can speak]], but at this point in the story, he doesn't speak Common in V's presence. A demon cockroach (who can and does talk) is a witness as well.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* On ''Radio/TheRickyGervaisShow'', resident {{Cloudcuckoolander}} Karl Pilkington tells a story, where a series of thefts from an office were supposedly solved by putting the suspects in the same room as a ''houseplant'' from the scene of the crime. The houseplant supposedly "reacted" to the thief's presence.
* In WebVideo/AssistMe, [[VideoGame/{{Okami}} Amaterasu]] (played by a male Pomeranian) speaks out against Doctor Doom in court for [[PokeThePoodle eating her treats.]]
--> '''Doom''': What?! Doom was curious!

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* Used in ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'' where Franchise/ScoobyDoo makes a cameo appearance.
-->'''Scooby:''' (about Mandy) She made fun of the way I talk. I mean, look at me! I'm a stinkin' dog!
* In the ''WesternAnimation/GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer'' Christmas special, the main character, Jake calls Santa's Reindeer to the stand.
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'', Angelica sues her parents over making her eat broccoli. Her witness? A stuffed animal. The defense objects, but the judge lets the toy testify anyway. It was AllJustADream anyway.
* Not a courtroom, but as Guitierrez is trying to replicate the incident that created ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', the hero's alter-ego Dexter explains that the keyboard sequence was created by his cat walking on it. Then it's shown the mooks had captured the cat to interrogate him. An animal psychologist had even been brought to help, but all he could get out of the cat was "He says he's very sad."
* ''WesternAnimation/AceVentura'':
** It had a similar case, where somebody abducted a dog hoping to make it reveal the secrets of its master, a high ranked officer. All the machine that read the dog's mind caught was the dog playing with the officer. Ace pointed out to the villain that dogs don't care about military secrets.
** Another episode had Ace's monkey, Spike, signaling that he saw a beast steal a hunting dog, but Ace thought Spike was letting superstition go to his head and pretended that Spike only said that in hopes of getting a cookie. When asked about what made Spike change his statement, Ace said he gave Spike ''two'' cookies.
* In ''WesternAnimation/RoadRovers'', this was the basis of an entire episode. Of course, they had phlebotinum that could make a dog into a sapient humanoid.
* The cats from ''Disney/PlutosJudgementDay''. Curiously enough, the defendant is [[Disney/PlutoThePup Pluto]], a dog.
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' "Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 2", the only ones to witness the shooting were Santa's Little Helper (A dog) and Maggie Simpson (A baby). The beginning of the episode showed the police ''trying'' to determine at the very least if they saw Smithers near the shooting, to no avail. [[spoiler: Ironically, it was Maggie who shot Burns (Accidentally?)]]
* Taken to another level in the ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' episode "Plankton vs. Krabs", in which Plankton sues for damages (and the Krabby Patty secret formula) after slipping at the Krusty Krab. At one point [=SpongeBob=], as Krabs' lawyer, cross-examines a mop. "So it was ''you'' that made the floor slippery?"
* Taken completely literally in the CourtroomEpisode of ''WesternAnimation/MarthaSpeaks''. The dog hating Mrs. Demson is trying to sue someone who wrecked her lawn furniture and Martha (a talking dog) is the only witness.

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Lawyer Bob Ingersoll notes that [[DefiedTrope this isn't legally possible]] in the United States [[http://www.worldfamouscomics.com/law/back20021001.shtml here]].
** An animal or its reactions could, however, theoretically be entered as ''evidence'' in situations similar to the French case below, but it is likely that a judge would be highly unamused at the idea of bringing the actual animal into the courtroom when a video would suffice, and the prosecution would have to establish that the dog did not simply bark aggressively at, say, ''all'' people who are bald or who smell like their pet cat (which happens).
* [[http://tinyurl.com/a63yaz In late 2008]] a dog was called into a French court to see if it reacted to a man accused of murdering his owner. The dog barked furiously at the suspect. The dog's name? [[YouMeddlingKids Scooby]].
* In French legend, Aubry de Montdidier, a knight of King Charles V, was murdered by [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Macaire Robert Macaire]]. The only witness was Montdidier's dog. In court the dog reacted violently to Macaire, leading the king to order [[TrialByCombat a duel between Macaire and the dog]]. The dog won, and Macaire confessed to the murder and was hanged. The murder was said to take place in 1371.
** Very much TruthInTelevision. Medieval manuals on trials by combat include provisions for fighting against a dog.
* In the United States, bloodhounds and other dogs capable of following a scent trail are legally allowed to "testify". (All police dogs on the K9 units are considered to be uniformed officers. Their human handlers sometimes have a little bit of creative fun "scribing" the reports on their behalf.)
* Not necessarily testify, but in Boston, [[http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-01-17/entertainment/27087837_1_jury-duty-cat-feline-friend a cat was once called in for jury duty]].
* An apparently WrongGenreSavvy burglar killed a goldfish because [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/14/teen-burglar-kills-goldfi_n_822845.html he didn't want to leave any witnesses.]]
* ''The Book of Lists'' has assembled over twenty cases, including many where the animals are put on the stand for [[BestialityIsDepraved buggery]].
* In 1994, when OJ Simpson's ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ronald Goldman were murdered, there was speculation that her Akita may have witnessed the crime. With that, there was further speculation that the dog would be brought into court to see if it would react violently to OJ, thus proving him to be the killer. Unfortunately, this tactic was never employed. One wonders whether or not this would have helped prove OJ guilty.
* Fear of this trope was what prompted one [[StupidCrooks David Carlile]] of Berkshire, England to kidnap and sell the African gray parrot that belonged to the owner of the house he was burglarizing in 2005 [[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/08/parrot_kidnap/ (story here)]]. When police identified and arrested him in connection with the burglary, he reportedly said “Parrots can talk and I didn’t want it [[StockBritishPhrases grassing me up!]]”
* During the Salem Witch Trials, [[HangingJudge some judges]] were so keen to find parties guilty, they'd allow anything from animals to corpses as witnesses. For instance, one man was accused of causing a one-eyed pig to be born on the [[SarcasmMode pretty damning]] basis that he also had one eye. The pig was a witness at his 'trial'.
* There was a story involving a MurderSuicide where the killer had shot her own dog (who survived). Since the dog was pretty shy around people he didn't know, was shot in the shoulder, and tried to climb on the veterinary doctor who took care of him, something the vet mentioned he only did with people he knew, it meant that either the shooter was shooting while prone (who does that in a house?) or that the dog knew the shooter and was trying to do so as he was shot. The motive was a case of adultery, and the gun was later found under a piece of furniture (the maid had panicked upon seeing the bodies and accidentally kicked it there).
* During the ReignOfTerror in France, one parrot was put on the stand to testify regarding its owners' royalist sympathies. It kept repeating "[[NotInFrontOfTheParrot Long live the King! Long live the priests! Long live the nobles!]]" in open court, and they got the guillotine.
* Maybe not as ''witnesses'', but animals (and even inanimate objects) can be named as ''defendants'' in a trial as a kind of shorthand for "v. John Doe, unidentified owner of (object)". This leads to cases like the (real) "Harrods Ltd. v. Sixty Internet Domain Names".