[[caption-width-right:350:From right to left: [[ActionGirl Officer Clarke]], [[TheHero Spaceman of Futuron]], [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Bennie the Robot]], [[TheLancer Endman of Futuron]], and... some kind of [[InsufficientlyAdvancedAlien alien]].]]

->''"Ho, Spaceman! No beast of Oasis has yet felled a Futuron!"''
-->--'''[[BadAss Endman of Futuron]]''', immediately after soundly defeating a pair of hostile predators.

''Lego Quest'' is a concluded [[ChooseYourOwnAdventure Quest]] (similar to ''Roleplay/RubyQuest'') that was held on [[ImageBoard 4chan's /tg/ board]]. Unlike most other quests of its type, the Game Master used Lego figures and pieces rather than on-the-spot illustration to represent a situation. It is, at heart, a lighthearted send-up to a time when [[TwoFistedTales men were men, and women were women, and Space Knights carried oversized electroswords]].

Set in the brightly-colored world of [[LegoThemes LEGO Space / Space Police]], the quest begins with '''[[TheHero Spaceman of Futuron]]''' stranded on a remote, unnamed planet, his spaceship forced to crash land due to sabotage or accident. Over the course of his travels, he encounters a hideous [[ThreateningShark Octoshark]], a race of alien natives with strange powers (and an even stranger holiday), and finally has a run-in with his '''Hated Rival''' [[SmugSnake Hodge La Roque]] and his servant robot.

Freed thanks to the natives' [[InnocentAliens unawareness of Spaceman's status as a prisoner]], our hero quickly finds himself free of the shackles his hated rival has bound him with, only for La Roque to return, summoned by his robot! In what is to be the first of many [[CrazyAwesome insane but effective]] actions, Spaceman hurls the closest native at La Roque, resulting in his nemesis' disintegration and the adulation of the locals (who take Spaceman's actions as a sign of affection).

What happens from there on out [[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=lego%20quest has to be seen to be believed]].


* ActionGirl: Officer Clarke, as the only major female character. In fact, she ends up rescuing [[BadAss supreme badass]] [[TheLancer Endman of Futuron]] during the climax, rather than the other way around (offscreen).
* [[AmusingAlien Amusing Aliens]]: The natives of the world where Spaceman of Futuron has crashlanded.
* ArtificialLimbs: Spaceman is forced to replace a hand with a robotic claw after he loses it in a fight. Twice.
* BlackSpeech: The enigmatic, horrifying, and ostensibly lethal [[DarkIsEvil Blacktrons]] speak with distorted text.
* BoisterousBruiser: Endman of Futuron, cheerful whether he's blasting Imperial troops to ash or grappling with alien monstrosities.
* BoomHeadshot: Several times, occasionally at close range, with plenty of Lego gore.
* CoolHat: Invoked several times, and becomes a plot point once when the hats Spaceman and Endman have appropriated from the Blockonium transport guards are used to fool a suspicious official. And also, they look snazzy.
** Spaceman's friend [[FriendInTheBlackMarket Boston Texas]] sports a cowboy hat.
* ChainsawGood: Azimuth the Iceman, and later, Spaceman of Futuron, wield the OTC - the incredibly powerful Orange Transparent Chainsaw.
* DeathWorld: The lush, verdant planet of Oasis. Filled with life. Life that wants to eat every other form of life.
* FaceHeelTurn: [[spoiler: Azimuth the Iceman and Rom the Space Knight, thanks to Lord Spruesworth's obscene amounts of cash.]]
* FrickinLaserBeams: The ubiquitous "Burners" carried by pretty much every combatant in the setting. The Oasis miners' Corer digging implements, which make for powerful, if shorter range, weapons.
* FiveManBand:
** TheHero: Spaceman of Futuron
** TheLancer: Endman of Futuron
** TheSmartGuy / TheChick: Officer Clarke.
** TheChick / TheBigGuy: Bennie the Robot.
* GunboatDiplomacy: Employed several times by [[TheHero Spaceman of Futuron]]. It helps that his profession is, technically, [[SpacePirates Space Pirate.]]
* GunsAkimbo: Endman of Futuron dual-wields a pair of [[FrickinLaserBeams Burners]], and has impeccable aim.
* GroinAttack: Employed by Officer Clarke [[RuleOfFunny during a gunfight with Imperial troops]]. Used again by Spaceman against a huge combat robot. [[RuleOfFunny And it works.]]
* HumanoidAbomination: The Blacktrons are heavily implied to be this or something like it.
* HumanAliens: The M-Trons, masters of magnetic technology, the Icemen, and of course, the Futurons. Justified by the [[{{Lego}} source material]].
* LargeHam: [[TheLancer Endman of Futuron]] ''can't speak'' without delivering large amounts of ham, and awesome.
* LaResistance: Initially only composed of the thousand miners of Oasis along with Spaceman and co. Thanks to Spaceman's heroic charisma, the revolution spreads like wildfire from Regis Prime after he manages to seize control of a news station.
* ManOfWealthAndTaste: High Lord Bryston Spruesworth the Third, Heir to Pennymarshal Estates and sovereign of Regis Major.
* NotQuiteDead: [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Bennie the Robot]] is finally taken down by Imperial troops at the cost of over ninety men. Two of them remain close by, looking him over. Cue [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice chainsaw stab]].
* NotSoDifferent: Spruesworth to Spaceman, while offering him a job.
* RebelLeader: Spaceman, during the climax.
* ShoutOut: One of Spaceman's early allies is a Space Knight named Rom.
* SmoochOfVictory: Officer Clarke and Spaceman in the end.
* SpacePolice: Mighty, inexorable, and irredeemably corrupt... with [[HeroesWantRedheads one exception]].
* SwordAndGun: Spaceman, after killing the Imperial Knight with his own electrosword.
* TakingTheBullet: Spaceman does this for Officer Clarke when a group of [[BountyHunter Bounty Hunters]] interrupt her in the process of arresting him. [[spoiler: Clarke returns the favor later, with near-fatal results.]]
* UndyingLoyalty: "I have pledged to follow you across the universe, Spaceman. If you go into Blacktron space, know that my burner shall ever be at your call." - Endman of Futuron.
* WeCanRuleTogether: The Vetinari variant. Spruesworth wants Spaceman's heroic charisma and combat skills working for, rather than against, him.
* WretchedHive: Apparently, the whole of New Jerusalem.