-> ''May your taxes increase!''
''Kismet'' is a three-act play written in 1911, about a beggar who pretends to be a sorcerer for one day... long enough for him to get lots of money, be promoted to the nobility, and win the hand of the villain's clever wife, Lalume. It also happens to be the same day that his daughter, Marcinah, meets and falls in love with the handsome Caliph. In 1953 it was made into a musical, using the (VERY altered!) music of Borodin (most notably, the Polovetsian Dances).
There are several film adaptations, the most famous being the 1944 play version starring Marlene Dietrich and Ronald Colman, and the 1955 musical version with Howard Keel and Dolores Grey.
!!This show features examples of:
* AsideGlance - "I want to take you to the Harem." POET: (glance) "Must I?"
* AwesomeButImpractical - Those slave girls may look gorgeous, but they can't carry a litter.
* BadassBoast - Consciously done, when the Poet is [[spoiler:pretending to be a summoner]]. "I'm calling on my powers!"
** In the 1944 version Colman as Hafiz makes several of these; "When my royal blood is up, no one can deny me, and no one does!"
* BawdySong - Especially the way Dolores Gray sings 'em.
* BecomingTheMask - The Poet goes from trying to convince people that he's not a wizard, to enjoying the pretense, to believing it... in the space of about an hour.
* BerserkButton - The poet snaps only when the Wazir [[spoiler:threatens Marcinah]]. Threatening to [[spoiler:cut his hands off]] just got him to sing.
* BewareTheNiceOnes - The Poet seems quite amiable. He's also capable of [[spoiler:holding a man underwater until he drowns, while casually talking to the Caliph]].
* CatchPhrase - "Faaaate..."
* CostumePorn - Especially Lalume
* DistractedByTheLuxury - Marcinah stops caring where her father got the gold as soon as he buys her a new outfit.
** Subverted by Lalume, "I would like my husband to think that it was his ''harem'' that enticed you to remain here..."
* DistantDuet - "And This is my Beloved"
* DoubleEntendre - Pick any conversation between the Poet and Lalume. Or any song. Also, the Poet singing a love song to his hand in a song called "Gesticulate"...
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar - Rahadlakum! (''You'' tell me they're singing about Turkish delight...)
* Good is Not Soft: The Caliph. When the Poet asked what he would do if he someone lied to him and as a result, his love was lost. His answer "I would order his death without delay and without mercy."
** In "Not Since Nineveh", while Lalume is comparing Baghdad to various Biblical cities, she lists ''"Not since that village near Gomorrah got too hot for Lot!"''. Given what everyone assumes the Sin of Sodom was, it doesn't seem to be a coincidence that it isn't explicitly named. And let's not even go into what "got too hot" could be taken for...
* MelismaticVocals - "So-o-o-o-o-o-o teeny!"
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: When the Poet learns that the Wazir [[spoiler: married Marcinah by force after the Caliph saw her in the harem]] says "In Allah's name, what have I done!"
** The Caliph also qualifies. He is young and idealistic, but watch out if you anger him.
** Colman's expression in the 1944 version [[spoiler: when he yields his daughter to the Grand Vizier]] and again at the moment he [[spoiler: realizes that the Caliph had intended to marry Marcinah all along]] is heartrending.
* OnlySaneMan - Lalume and the Poet both fall into this trope, especially when they're talking to the Wazir.
* RagsToRoyalty [[spoiler: Marcinah]]
* TheVoiceless - The princesses of Ababul. They ''whistle'', though.
* SoundtrackDissonance - 1950's big band swing in an Arabian Nights style story?
* SummonBackupDancers - In ''Not Since Ninevah''.
* VocalTagTeam - Lalume and the Poet
* WhamLine - In the 1944 film: [[spoiler: "Before this fool's execution, I want him to hear something. You were told of a royal wedding today. That wedding will still take place. I've combed the corners of Baghdad for this man. And while he was plotting with my enemies, ''I was arranging to make his daughter queen of the empire!''"]]