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[[quoteright:255:[[VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/improbable-weapon-user_jaxsplash_2_1203.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:255:Don't ask Jax [[{{Pun}} for a light]].]]

->''"Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be."''
-->-- '''Cheshire Cat''', ''VideoGame/AmericanMcGeesAlice''

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The high probability your wackiest party member (like the TeamPet) will use some sort of bizarre and, well, improbable "weapon" -- that is, in the sense of an object you could conceivably hit something with. And some of these "weapons" don't even go that far.

Many games also have a [[JokeItem gag]] weapon for each of the party members, which is essentially an Improbable or NerfArm version of their regular weapon, like the following: a [[CombatHandFan fan]], a [[WoodenKatanasAreEvenBetter wooden sword]] for the sword-wielder, a broom for the WhiteMagicianGirl, or a squeaky-mallet for someone who normally wields an axe or [[CarryABigStick hammer]]. Of course, this might end up [[SubvertedTrope subverted]] with an [[InfinityPlusOneSword Infinity Plus One]] slingshot which fires [[LethalJokeItem dangerous marshmallows]]. Sometimes they may be StatSticks instead, things that are "equipped" as a "weapon" to give the user the stats but aren't actually used for attacking. Compare TheManMakesTheWeapon for when someone deliberately use a gag substitute of a real weapon to showcase his skill.

This {{trope}} surprisingly isn't that far from reality and may be one of the stranger examples of TruthInTelevision. Martial arts weapons have included not just spears, swords, and knives, but farming tools, boat oars (see also UsefulNotes/MiyamotoMusashi), [[CombatHandFan fans]], [[RingsOfDeath metal rings]] (no, not even chakram, just round metal rings), and... small wooden benches? Hell, this doesn't even go into the military trench shovel[[note]][[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool which is actually fairly terrifying, sometimes featuring a saw blade edge or bayonette]][[/note]].

Subtropes include the following:
[[index]]
* TwoByFore: When the Improbable Weapon is a wooden plank or any sort of lumber.
* AnchorsAway: When the Improbable Weapon is an anchor.
* ArtAttacker: When the Improbable Weapon is art (of the non-martial kind).
* BattleTops: When the Improbable Weapon is a spinning top.
* BroomstickQuarterstaff: When the Improbable Weapon is a mop or a broom.
* ChairmanOfTheBrawl: When the Improbable Weapon is a small piece of furniture.
* ClothFu: When the Improbable Weapon is a piece of cloth, a blanket, or the like.
* ClothingCombat: When the Improbable Weapon is clothing.
* CombatCueStick: When the weapon is a billiard stick.
* CombatHandFan: When the Improbable Weapon is a hand fan.
* CrossAttack: When the Improbable Weapon is a cross.
* CrowbarCombatant: When the weapon is a crowbar.
* DeadlyDoctor: When the Improbable Weapon User is a medical doctor who repurposes medical instruments for combat.
* DeadlyRinger: When the Improbable Weapon is a bell.
* DeathDealer: When the Improbable Weapon is a card (or a whole deck of cards).
* EdibleBludgeon: When the Improbable Weapon is a solid mass of (often frozen) food.
* FryingPanOfDoom: When the Improbable Weapon is a frying pan or a similar cookware piece.
* GardeningVarietyWeapon: When the weapon is a farming or gardening implement.
* GolfClubbing: When the Improbable Weapon is a golf club.
* IKnowMaddenKombat: When the Improbable Weapon is a sport implement (for a non-combat sport, that is).
* KillerYoyo: When the Improbable Weapon is a yo-yo.
* KnowsTheRopes: When the Improbable Weapon is a piece of rope.
* MoneyMauling: When the Improbable Weapon is money.
* MyLittlePanzer: When the Improbable Weapon is a toy gun, remote control vehicle, or other such toy.
* NailEm: When the Improbable Weapon is a nail gun.
* ParasolOfPain: When the Improbable Weapon is an umbrella.
* PipePain: When the Improbable Weapon is a piece of piping.
* RodAndReelRepurposed: When the Improbable Weapon is a fishing rod.
* RollingPinOfDoom: When the Improbable Weapon is a rolling pin.
* ShearMenace: When the Improbable Weapon is a pair of scissors, grass shears, and other similar cutting devices.
* ShovelStrike: When the Improbable Weapon is a shovel, trowel, or some other digging tool of similar design.
* SinisterScythe: When the Improbable Weapon is a scythe or a sickle.
* ThrowTheBookAtThem: When the Improbable Weapon is a book.
* TrophyViolence: When the Improbable Weapon is a trophy or an award.
* UtilityWeapon: When the Improbable Weapon is a video-game tool that can be used outside of combat.
* ViciousVac: When the Improbable Weapon is a Vacuum cleaner or similar devices.
* WaterGunsAndBalloons: When the Improbable Weapon is a water gun or water-filled balloon[[note]]when they aren't used against [[KillItWithWater those who're weak against water]][[/note]].
* WeaponizedBall: When the weapon is a ball of any kind (not including regular ammo, duh).
* WeaponizedHeadgear: When the Improbable Weapon is a legitimate form of headgear.
* WrenchWhack: When the Improbable Weapon is a wrench. Any size can apply.
[[/index]]

For '''one-time examples''', see ImprovisedWeapon. If someone manages to pull this off with an actual weapon, see ImprobableUseOfAWeapon. Compare AbnormalAmmo for improbable things you could throw/launch at an enemy. And ImpossiblyCoolWeapon for actual weapons with impossible (and cool) properties.

See also ImprovFu, ThisBananaIsArmed, ShoePhone, NerfArm, HappyFunBall, GrievousHarmWithABody, MusicalAssassin (killing with music), MartialArtsAndCrafts, OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement, JokeItem, and LethalJokeItem.
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!!Example subpages:
[[index]]
* ImprobableWeaponUser/AnimeAndManga
* ImprobableWeaponUser/ComicBooks
* ImprobableWeaponUser/FanWorks
* ImprobableWeaponUser/{{Film}}
* ImprobableWeaponUser/{{Literature}}
* ImprobableWeaponUser/LiveActionTV
* ImprobableWeaponUser/ProfessionalWrestling
* ImprobableWeaponUser/TabletopGames
* ImprobableWeaponUser/VideoGames
** ''ImprobableWeaponUser/FireEmblemHeroes''
* ImprobableWeaponUser/{{Webcomics}}
* ImprobableWeaponUser/WebOriginal
* ImprobableWeaponUser/WesternAnimation
* ImprobableWeaponUser/RealLife
[[/index]]

!!Other examples:
[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:AsianAnimation]]
* Ever thought of using a toilet plunger as a MagicWand? Well, in ''Animation/HappyHeroes'', Huo Haha does just that and puts it to surprisingly competent use. He also flies on it like a FlyingBroomstick in a couple of episodes.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Manhua]]
* ''Manhua/InfinityGame'':
** Meibo uses chalk, a lot, as a throwable weapon and apparently carries boxes of the stuff around with her. She's strong enough with it to break down Long Wei's door.
** The team defeat a monster by hitting its weak spot with a Ronald [=McDonald=] statue.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Manhwa]]
* In the second chapter of ''Love Aquarium'' Gugu throws a hamster (because it was in his co-worker's pocket) at a man with a bloody knife, threatening the main character for sneaking into an off-limit zone. The man faints from a hamster to the face.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* "Every Dog Has Its Day" by Music/FloggingMolly contains the line, "That night on the bridge, with my shovel in hand / Well he threatened to kill me; for sure he picked the wrong man." Of course, a shovel probably only seems like an improbable weapon until someone beats you with it.
* ''Music/EvilliousChronicles'': In "Tailor Shop on Enbizaka]]", [[{{Yandere}} Kayo Sudou]] kills four people with ''tailoring scissors.'' Admittedly, they were an ArtifactOfDoom, though...
* The AmbiguouslyHuman main character of Music/TomWaits' song "Black Wings", we are told, "once killed a man with a guitar string". We are given no further details on this [[NoodleIncident incident.]]
* Music/WesleyWillis describes beating ComicBook/SpiderMan to a pulp with a rubber hose for harassing Wesley's girlfriend on the aptly named "I Whipped Spiderman's Ass".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Podcasts]]
* Yoshi from the ''Podcast/CoolKidsTable'' game ''Here We Gooooo!'' wields a shell, though this isn't very improbable in the context of the Mario universe.
[[/folder]]
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