%%
%%
%%
%%
%% This list of examples has been alphabetized. Please add your example in the proper place. Thanks!
%%
%%
%%
%%
%%
[[quoteright:296:[[Webcomic/ElGoonishShive https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/20120308_17fs.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:296:"That could have gone better..."]]

->'''Spider Jerusalem:''' You want to go out to dinner sometime?\\
'''Woman:''' Sorry, no. I'm married, not hungry, infected with seven unknown diseases, gay, pregnant with lizards and clinically dead.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Transmetropolitan}}''

When confronted with some evidence of her wrongdoing or in need of an excuse to get out of something, [[AliceAndBob Alice]] blurts out all the things she can think of that could justify it.

Unfortunately, [[ImmediateSelfContradiction they all contradict each other]]. Some might even be [[INeedToGoIronMyDog downright implausible]]. She probably would have been better off sticking to just one of them.

I was going to write a longer description, [[SelfDemonstratingArticle but I had to shut the computer down due to a thunderstorm, there was a hole in the roof already so I went stargazing, I needed to run to the gas station and then get my car from the repair shop, and meanwhile had to stop the basement flooding.]]

----
!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'' when Kagura misreads 'Iriomote' as 'Nichijou' and is called out on it.
-->'''Kagura:''' I did that on purpose. I know that. It slipped out.\\
'''Tomo:''' [[LampshadeHanging Which is it?]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'': Devi's date goes through pages and pages of excuses in his head after shitting himself at a restaurant. He eventually decides to go with "OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS!".
* ''ComicBook/{{Transmetropolitan}}'': see page quote. The ''really'' funny thing is that in that world, even those last two ones are actually plausible.
* In ''ComicBook/TheUnwritten'', Lizzie Hexam puts off a girl who wants to involve Tom in some sex magic by claiming that he has syphilis, he's celibate, and he's her fiancé.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* In ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'', Calvin tries to fix a leaky faucet and floods the bathroom instead. When Dad demands to know what happened, Calvin says that the faucet blew sky-high all by itself, then he says that Hobbes was fooling around with Dad's tools, and finally he claims that "evil, bug-eyed monsters from Pluto" did it.
* ComicStrip/{{Cathy}} once phoned her office and said she couldn't come to work that day because she didn't feel well, there was a family emergency, her car broke down and her dog had a vet appointment. Her actual reason for avoiding work was that a hairdresser gave her a bad dye job and she was too embarrassed to go out in public that way.
** Irving wants to go swimming, but Cathy doesn't like wearing a bathing suit in public:
--->'''Cathy:''' I can't. I have a headache. I have a stomach ache. I have to work. I have to do errands. I have to do the laundry. I have to wash the car. I have to clean house. I have to bathe Electra. I have to call my mother. I have to buy groceries. I have to pay bills. ''(awkward pause)'' Eleven lies is as close to the moment of truth as I can get for the day.
* In ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'', Lucy takes this to hilarious extremes after [[http://comics.com/peanuts/1962-04-27/ striking out]] for Charlie Brown's baseball team:
-->"This bat is no good! It's too light! That ball they're using is no good either! How can anybody hit when the sun is so bright? I bat better when it's cloudy! It's too dusty out there, too! I can't hit well when the wind is blowing! That bat I was using is too short! It's hard to see the ball today! You can't hit a ball when the bat is too thin! I think their pitcher is..."
* In ''ComicStrip/{{Zits}}'', Jeremy's explanations of why he is late often turn into one of these.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* Max Corrigan's attempt to get out of the Army in ''Film/AcrossTheUniverse2007'': "I'm a crossdressing homosexual pacifist with a spot on my lung?"
* Jake Blues' list of excuses he blurts out to Carrie Fisher's character as to why he failed to show up at their wedding in ''Film/TheBluesBrothers''.
-->"No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood! ''Locusts!'' '''IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOOOD!'''"
** She falls for it, or at least gives in as he [[TheCharmer takes off his sunglasses]].
* Something similar turns up in the 1994 BMovie ''Film/{{Felony}}''.
-->'''Him:''' Can I take you out for a drink? \\
'''Her:''' I don't drink. \\
'''Him:''' How about dinner? \\
'''Her:''' I don't eat.
* In ''Film/GhostbustersII'', the cop calls Venkman's bluff and checks out his story about why they're tearing a hole into the middle of one of the city's major avenues in the middle of traffic, and sarcastically asks him to "tell him another one." Venkman does so.
* ''Film/NationalLampoonsChristmasVacation'' has Rusty give this doozy when his dad wants him to help check the Christmas lights for a dead bulb:
-->'''Clark:''' Did we check every bulb?\\
'''Rusty:''' Yeah! Yeah, I-I'm sure of it!\\
'''Clark:''' Well, maybe we should-\\
'''Rusty:''' WHOA! Jeez! Look at the time! I gotta get to bed, then do the laundry, feed the hog, still got some homework to do . . .
* The end of ''Film/SomeLikeItHot'', where Jerry tries to convince Osgood that they can't marry. Unlike most examples here, they're not made up.
-->'''"Daphne":''' Yeah, Osgood... I can't get married in your mother's dress. That... she and I, we're not built the same way.\\
'''Osgood:''' We can have it altered.\\
'''"Daphne":''' Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you, we can't get married at all.\\
'''Osgood:''' Why not?\\
'''"Daphne":''' Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.\\
'''Osgood:''' Doesn't matter.\\
'''"Daphne":''' I smoke. I smoke all the time!\\
'''Osgood:''' I don't care.\\
'''"Daphne":''' Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player!\\
'''Osgood:''' I forgive you.\\
'''"Daphne":''' ''[melodramatically]'' I can never have children!\\
'''Osgood:''' We can adopt some.\\
'''"Daphne"/Jerry:''' But you don't understand, Osgood! ''[yanks off wig]'' I'M A MAN!\\
'''Osgood:''' ''[completely unperturbed and still very much in love]'' Well, nobody's perfect.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Jokes]]
* In a Russian short story a reporter is trying to interview an obnoxious and confusing old man.
-->'''The Interviewer:''' I'd like to have a talk with Platon Semenovich.\\
'''The Old Man:''' He's out. He's ill, he's left and he's gone to sleep.\\
'''The Interviewer:''' And just whom am I talking to?\\
'''The Old Man:''' I'm Platon Semenovich.
:::and later[=:=]
-->'''The Old Man:''' If my neighbor told you that my goat'd eaten his cabbage, he's lying. I've never had a goat - it died last summer, that's why I took it to the slaughterhouse yesterday.
* There's an old joke about a barrister's son who is asked if he knows anything about the broken window in the schoolroom: "In the first place, sir, the schoolroom has no window; in the second place, the schoolroom window is not broken; in the third place, if it is broken, I did not do it; in the fourth place, it was an accident."
* In a GreasySpoon, one guest gets a dirty knife, so he starts to rub it clean with the tablecloth. The waiter reprimands him: "Why are you doing that? First, our cutlery is always clean. Second, you're soiling our tablecloth!"
* Legend says this was one of Sigmund Freud's favorite jokes (it would be!). "Firstly, I never borrowed any kettle from you, second, I returned it in perfect condition and third, it was broken when you gave it to me."
* Mr Blue is sued by Mr Green for not paying back some money he got lent as promised. Blue defends himself: "First, I never had any money lent. Second, I paid it back already. Third - who is this Mr Green anyway?" This is legally known as [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_pleading alternative pleading]], and is an actual defense tactic.
** Note that the reason for this is what you have to consider as the converse. In the above example, you have to prove that the person in question WAS the person doing the lending, that the money had indeed been lent out, and that the money had not been paid back - any one of those failing would sink the lawsuit. Thus while it may sound ridiculous on the face of it, it is a legitimate tactic as it forces the prosecution to back up its case.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* An impressive example occurs in the Literature/ArabianNights; an unfaithful wife's lover has been killed, and to justify going into mourning, she tells her husband that her mother is dead, her father has been killed in a holy war, one of her brothers died of snake bite, ''and'' another one of her brothers fell off a cliff. Not contradictory, or technically implausible, but certainly still a bit over-the-top. (Adding to that, they [[KissingCousins are first cousins]] and he would plausibly be able to check on whether his own uncle, aunt and other cousins had died.)
* According to ''Literature/DaveBarrySleptHere'', the U.S. government offered multiple contradictory excuses for the 1960 U-2 incident before coming clean, including [[ADogAteMyHomework "the dog ate our homework."]]
* During the Blade-Runner-future-segment of ''Literature/CloudAtlas'', Sonmi, a cloned labourer displaying unusual intelligence, is given to a loutish university student so he can monitor her. He and his friends end up trying [[WilliamTelling to shoot bits of fruit off the top of her head]], and she loses part of her ear just as one of his professors walks in. He tries to come up with so many different excuses that, as Sonmi notes, none of them have any meaning.
* In ''Literature/FireAndBlood'', when Princess Saera Targaryen is taken to task by her parents for just how out of control her HardDrinkingPartyGirl lifestyle has gotten, she delivers a rant containing just about every imaginable lie, excuse, rationalisation and deflection in rapid succession. Just summarising them takes up half a page in the book. Septon Barth wryly notes that no mummer (actor) in all of Westeros had ever given such a performance.
* ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'': One of the demons inhabiting the Mountains of Ignorance is the Threadbare Excuse, who constantly repeats a string of excuses: "Well, I've been sick, but the page was torn out, but I missed the bus, but nobody else did it..."
* The Duke in ''Literature/WyrdSisters'', recalling the events surrounding the death of Verence I:
-->'''Duke:''' I didn't do it, you know. He slipped and fell. That was it. Slipped and fell. I wasn't even there. He attacked me. It was self-defence. That's it. He slipped and fell on his own dagger in self-defence.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* In the ''{{Series/Dollhouse}}'' episode "Briar Rose", FBI agent Paul Ballard muscles his way into Stephen Kepler's apartment, where there are some suspicious-looking plants:
-->'''Kepler:''' Carrots! ''Medicinal'' carrots! Personal-use medicinal carrots that were here when I moved in and I'm holding it for a friend!
* ''Series/{{House}}'''s title character subverts it on a cell phone.
-->'''House:''' Sorry, I'm about to lose you because I'm going into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while I hang up the phone.
** House once mentions that using more than one reason means you don't have a good one, you are looking for one the other will accept.
* In ''Series/KenanAndKel'''s made for TV movie, "Two Heads Are Better Then None".
-->'''Arthur:''' What are you doing down here!\\
'''Kel:''' We... uhh... wanted to read a book.\\
'''Kenan:''' I-I-I lost my wallet.\\
'''Kel:''' Uh... you wanted us to meet you down here, right?\\
'''Kenan:''' We're sleepwalking?\\
'''Kel:''' Um... uh... we need to get some sand.\\
'''Kenan:''' Our room smelled funny.\\
'''Kel:''' Uh... oo... You're dreaming.\\
'''Kenan:''' We're not really here.\\
'''Kel:''' Yeah, you're dreaming. ''(waves hands)'' Wake up Arthur, wake up.\\
'''Kenan:''' A-Any of this sound good to you? No? All right, the truth is we got a little hungry... and we thought the bathroom was behind this bookcase... which as it turns out activates a secret passage...
* In an early episode of ''Series/{{MASH}}'', Klinger tearfully presents a letter that says his father is dying and asks to be immediately discharged from the Army and sent home. An unimpressed Henry Blake produces a file folder and reads from it:
-->Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half of the family dying, other half pregnant.
* When the eponymous heroine of ''Series/Miranda2009'' attempts to get out of another of her mother's horrific parties:
-->'''Miranda:''' Wait, mum, did you say Friday? Oh, I can't do Friday.\\
'''Penny:''' Why not?\\
'''Miranda:''' Well, it's my daughter's first birthday.\\
'''Penny:''' You don't have a daughter.\\
'''Miranda:''' I don't have a daughter. Um, I am voting in the House of Commons.\\
'''Penny:''' You're not an MP.\\
'''Miranda:''' I'm not an MP. I... I'm washing my shoes! I'll tell you what it is: I am baking a hedgehog for Tony Benn's anniversary... ''[turns to Stevie]'' I just can't! I get in a panic!
* In the ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'' episode "Van Hickey", Earl ended up marrying his friends older mom ''([[ItMakesSenseInContext long story]])'' and kept making up excuses every night to escape from doing his "new husbandly duties"
-->'''Earl:''' Sorry, I just ate a big meal and my doctor says I have to wait at least three hours before swimming or... humping so... Don't wait up.\\
There's a bunch of birds unfairly attacking a squirrel on the lawn. I have to get involved... Don't wait up.\\
The string came out of my sweatpants, it's gonna be an all nighter.\\
The Chinese are on the march.\\
I'm on hold with Mike from Bombay. He's trying to walk me through using the new toaster.\\
Randy got out. Gotta go find him.\\
I gotta drive three counties over to get some rubbers. I'm an odd size.
* In ''[[Series/TheOfficeUS The Office: An American Workplace]]'' episode "A Benihana Christmas", when Michael asks Ryan to go to Benihana, he puts forth a hurricane of excuses including having a peanut allergy and having eaten there the previous night.
--> '''Jim''': [[SarcasmMode Thanks for leaving some for the rest of us.]]
--> '''Ryan''': I've got these saved on my phone, man, you gotta keep up.
* From ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'', after Tom accidentally shoots Ron on a hunting trip, Leslie (who, for the record, is an excellent hunter and the [[OnlySaneMan most level-headed person in Pawnee]]) opts to take the heat for it. We see a montage of the explanations she gives to a skeptical and chauvinistic ranger:
-->'''Leslie:''' I got that tunnel vision that girls get. I let my emotions get the best of me. I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and it felt icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember! I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! I'm just going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone. This would not happen if I had a penis! Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math, and... I'm stupid.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* The early Music/BobDylan song "Who Killed Davey Moore?" is about the RealLife [[CasualtyInTheRing death of the titular boxer]]. Each verse gives the microphone to one stakeholder in the fight - the referee, the crowd, the journalists, the managers, the gamblers, and finally Moore's opponent - all of whom have a long line of excuses for why "it wasn't me that made him fall, no you can't blame me at all." In the end, Dylan can only ironically conclude
-->''...It was destiny, it was God's Will.''
* The Music/FlightOfTheConchords song, "[[http://www.lyricsondemand.com/f/flightoftheconchordslyrics/imnotcryinglyrics.html I'm Not Crying]]": the singer is definitely not crying, it's just been raining on his face, he's been peeling onions, there's dust in his eye, his tear gland is inflamed, and his face is sweaty. And if he ''were'' crying, it definitely isn't because his girlfriend left him.
* The Music/MxPx song "My Life Story" has the main character claim to be late for a date due to his car breaking down, the car he hitched a ride from breaking down, and the airplane he was in crashing. Also, he had nothing to wear.
* Music/PhilOchs' "[[DraftDodging Draft Dodger]] Rag" has the singer give a rather dubious list of reasons that he cannot join the military.
-->''I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen, and I always carry a purse\\
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse\\
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt\\
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school\\
And I'm working in a defense plant!''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Poetry]]
* There's a poem called "Excuses" which is about a schoolkid making up a lot of increasingly ridiculous reasons why (s)he needs to start their work again. It begins with excuses like "I've written the date wrong" and builds up to ones like "I think I've been poisoned".
* Creator/GordonKorman wrote a similar poem called "I'm Feeling Very Ill Today." The young narrator claims he can't go to an exam because of several different ailments, such as heartburn, congestion, mumps, a sprained thumb, halitosis and "measles, chicken pox and flu all rolled up into one."
* "[[http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/sick-20/ Sick]]" by Creator/ShelSilverstein.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* Creator/EddieIzzard: "I was dead at the time! I was on the moon! With Steve!" Turns out, the question was "Did you brush your teeth?" And it hadn't been asked yet when the excuses were given.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/RhythmHeaven Megamix'': The description for the Rhythm Item of "Blue Birds" (Captain Blue Bird's sunglasses):
-->'''Captain Blue Bird:''' It's too bright! [[SandInMyEyes There's pollen in the air!]] I just yawned! [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I am NOT crying! I'm not hiding behind sunglasses! Your hard work and dedication did NOT move me to tears!]] Get back to your station!
* In ''VideoGame/{{Paladins}}'', one of Pip's lines for a joke details how he came across his equipment.
-->'''Pip:''' My equipment was a ''generous'' gift... Okay, it was given to me... '''FINE!''' I stole it!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* ''WebVideo/UltraFastPony''. The episode "Pinkie's Day In" has a variation where every excuse is shot down immediately after it's said.
-->'''Mrs. Cake:''' Oh, Pinkie, I'm afraid to ask this, but why do you have two babies in our house?\\
'''Pinkie:''' [[DeliveryStork A stork left them on the doorstop!]]\\
'''Mrs. Cake:''' No.\\
'''Pinkie:''' They grew from seeds I planted in the ground!\\
'''Mrs. Cake:''' Nope.\\
'''Pinkie:''' It was a ChristmasMiracle!\\
'''Mrs. Cake:''' ''Pinkie...''\\
'''Pinkie:''' I might have stolen them from their mum.\\
'''Mrs. Cake:''' Pinkie!\\
'''Pinkie:''' Oh, wait, now, wait, Mrs. Cake, I said "I might have". I didn't say it was actually true.\\
'''Mrs. Cake:''' But it is true.\\
'''Pinkie:''' Theoretically, yes.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* From ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'':
** When Ellen and Nanase are caught kissing by Nanase's mother, Ellen claims "We were rehearsing a play! About CPR!" Nanase decides to come out. [[spoiler: Her mother pretty much takes it in stride.]]
** During "Squirrel in the Classroom", when Raven gets suspicious of Grace's memory, he suddenly realizes something, withdraws his objection, and uses this trope to explain his previous anger at Grace.
--->'''[[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2008-04-09 Raven]]:''' ''Oh'', don't mind me. Didn't get enough sleep last night, low blood sugar, bit my tongue, got cut off in traffic, ''you'' know how it is.
** [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2012-03-08 This]] happens when Matt asks the [[DeadpanSnarker normally unflappable]] Susan out on a date during "The End of Spring."
--->'''Susan:''' I'm sorry, I have a thing on Friday where I'll be preoccupied with some stuff that will unfortunately make it impossible for me to, uh... ''[runs off]'' BYE!
** When Agent Wolf accidentally revealed a bit more information than he should have, he [[http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=1690 tries a little bit too hard to backpedal.]]
--->'''Agent Wolf:''' And that's classified. I said nothing. And if I did, it was the summary of an anime Cranium makes me watch on our dates. Also [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend we're not dating.]]
* [[http://foundingboys.smackjeeves.com/comics/1200091/an-accurate-depiction/ This]] ''Webcomic/FoundingBoys'' strip.
* In [[http://www.ddtcomic.com/2011/07/05/undeclared/ this]] ''Dewey Defeats Tarzan'' strip, one of the lesser-known Founding Fathers has one of these.
* In ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'', Professors Diaz and Mittlemind [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20091026 launch into one of these]] when asked to accompany Agatha down into a dangerous-looking pit in Castle Heterodyne. Professor Mezzasalma is disgusted by this display... as they didn't leave any for him.
-->'''Mezzasalma:''' ...and crying is ''undignified.''
* In ''Webcomic/TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob,'' Jean gives her boss a couple of [[TheWorldIsNotReady standard science fiction excuses]] for why she has to keep her alien acquaintances a secret, before finally admitting [[https://bobadventures.thecomicseries.com/comics/391/ the real reason.]]
* Millie gets one of these in [[http://ozyandmillie.org/1998/06/21/ozy-and-millie-54/ this]] strip of ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'', where she's practicing running for president.
* ''Webcomic/SandraAndWoo'': [[http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2010/09/16/0200-excuses-a-plus/ Larisa has a different excuse for every class]] as to why she didn't do the homework, including [[ADogAteMyHomework her father eating it for a performance art piece]], it being classified information prohibited by the Maltese government, and accusing one teacher of molesting her. Apparently, one of the excuses is true.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Website/NotAlwaysRight provides an example [[http://notalwaysright.com/menage-a-fraud/3128 here]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Videos]]
* ''WebVideo/TheMusicVideoShow'' and its [[https://youtu.be/qwMEYlGuYYk 219th episode]] has this trope near the end. The excuses go from believable ("We were robbed.) to impossible ("We were robbed by ghosts.")
** It happens again in the [[https://youtu.be/8g0M7d704yQ 231st episode.]] She makes up so many excuses she contradicts herself in seconds.
--->"The boy got out in front of the car!" "There was no boy!" "The boy hit me first!"
* ''LetsPlay/{{videogamedunkey}}'': Dunkey uses this as a RunningGag in his ''VideoGame/SuperMarioMaker2'', stating that every time he loses, some combination of outside factors caused it [[NeverMyFault that had nothing to do with him]].
-->"Uh... Not even trying, uh, blindfold, it was lagging, controller's not plugged in, it's my little brother playing..."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' has one of these where Stan reveals that despite being a CIA agent he's never killed anyone. Francine found his alpha male status erotic and so this disappoints her. At one point:
-->'''Francine:''' ''[striking a sexy pose]'' Hey killer, how was the kill? You need to wash the blood off your hands? Or better yet, don't.\\
'''Stan:''' Well... I didn't actually kill anyone. I tri-\\
'''Francine:''' ''[changes from lingerie into a heavy night dress and crawls into bed]'' Ya know I'm tired, I have a headache, I've got a lot of work to do, my back hurts, it's that time of the month, I have an early meeting.
** On the DVD, there is a sound of a vibrator after the lights are off and Francine adds the excuse "Oh that? It's... a pencil sharpener... I'm... sharpening pencils for my early meeting?"
* From ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', the day after Peter runs into his boss at a baseball game after calling in sick.
--> Uh, Mr. Weed? I heard you ran into my identical twin brother at the ball game yesterday. And if you don't buy that, I'm sorry I was at the ball game yesterday.
* ''{{WesternAnimation/Futurama}}'' does this several times.
** There's:
--->'''Professor Farnsworth:''' My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! [[LampshadeHanging I'm not just]] [[BlatantLies making excuses!]] Alright I'll go!
** Also, when Hermes catches Bender in his office, which has been destroyed:
--->'''Bender:''' Uh, it was ghosts! Big ones! And a tornado!
** Also Leela, Bender, and Fry in "Less than Hero" when they need a SecretIdentityChangeTrick:
--->'''Leela:''' I just remembered I left my apartment on fire!\\
'''Bender:''' I gotta study for my [=LSATs=]!\\
'''Fry:''' And I can't take life anymore! ''(dives out the window, smashes back in through another one in costume)''
** "Attack of the Killer App" has:
--->'''Farnsworth:''' Who were you talking to?\\
'''Bender:''' No one! Your momma! Shut up! Take your pick.
* The ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' short "You Were Never Duckier" has Daffy Duck [[INeedToGoIronMyDog trying to get away from a family of chickenhawks]]:
-->'''Daffy:''' Well, I gotta go. I think my judge is burning, fudge... My fudge is burning, judge... I mean, my mother wants me...I gotta crochet a cake...uh...Goodbye!
* In the ''WesternAnimation/ElTigre'' HalloweenEpisode, Manny and Frida do this after Rondolfo and Grandpapi see that they've eaten the food offerings for ''Dias De Las Muertos'';
-->'''Manny:''' It's not our fault!\\
'''Frida:''' Mind control!\\
'''Manny''' Aliens!\\
'''Frida:''' Cold and flu season!\\
'''Manny:''' ''(Waving arms)'' You're ''dreeeaming thiiiis!''
[[/folder]]

----