[[quoteright:300:[[Music/TheLonelyIsland http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/i_just_had_sex_4794.PNG]]]]
[[caption-width-right:300:[[SpeedSex It was the best thirty seconds of my life!]]]]

->''"My name is Olaf Peterson. I am very good in bed."''
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''

A character who talks big about his (or, more rarely, her) love life and success with the ladies (or gents), but in fact has little or nothing going on. Can be part of OfCourseImNotAVirgin.

If everybody ''else'' is talking about the protagonist's (nonexistent) conquests, it's an UrbanLegendLoveLife.

Compare HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday, which is frequently used in a parallel way. Subtrope of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial. Also see DoYouWantToCopulate.


[[folder: Anime and Manga ]]

* RareFemaleExample: Sae in ''Manga/HidamariSketch'' constantly insists she has had tons of boyfriends and has all kinds of experience which she supposedly uses as inspiration for her writing.
* The plot of ''Manga/LoveLab'' centers on this trope, as main character Riko lies about how she's basically an expert on love matters and is made to 'teach' others on how to be experts as well. Eventually, [[spoiler:the trope is subverted when she admits to having zero experience in love]], but that doesn't happen until the very end of the anime.


[[folder: Film ]]

* ''Film/AmericanBeauty''. [[spoiler:The 16-years-old Angela isn't the slut she makes herself out to be - in fact, she's a virgin.]]
* Sherman in the first ''Film/AmericanPie'' film.
* ''Film/TheBreakfastClub''. Brian tries to insist that "[He's] laid loads of times", even playing the GirlfriendInCanada card. He later admits that he's a virgin.
** Similarly, Allison lies that she is a nymphomaniac who even slept with her therapist before admitting that she is actually a virgin after Claire does.
* Rascal in ''Film/MemphisBelle'' constantly teases "Virgil the Virgin" while bragging about his own conquests. The novelization reveals that Rascal himself is in fact a virgin (ironically Virgil is not, having slept with a woman the day before the mission).
* In ''Film/TheDeparted'', TheMole's new marriage is suffering from TheLoinsSleepTonight. When his boss says that women are attracted to married men because "it tells them you've got some money and your dick works," he responds, "Oh, it's working! Ha-ha! Overtime!"
* In ''Film/TheStrawberryBlonde'', set at the beginning of the 20th century, Amy strongly implies that she likes to have sex with men, much to Biff's horror. Later, she recoils in fear when Biff takes her seriously and starts kissing her in the park, revealing that she made it all up.
--> '''Biff''': Well, wouldn't you like a nice, young man to marry you someday?\\
'''Amy''': No, not particularly.\\
'''Biff''' Grimes: So you don't believe in the institution of marriage!\\
'''Amy''': An outmoded, silly convention started by the cavemen and encouraged by the florists and jewelers. After all, what's marriage?\\
'''Biff''' Grimes: Wouldn't you like to have a home and kids?\\
'''Amy''': Certainly I would, but that doesn't mean you have to go through all the...\\
'''Biff''' Grimes: You mean - -?\\
'''Amy''': Exactly. ''[she winks]''
* Richie from ''Film/It2017'' is constantly boasting about his non-existent sex life, in between an endless stream of dirty jokes. Also counts as TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior, since he's 13.


[[folder: Literature ]]

* [[spoiler: Carlos Ramirez]] from ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles''. He talks a big game but when they show up at the Raith estate in the run up to the climax in ''White Night'' [[FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire Lara Raith]] is touched that Harry thought to bring a virgin as a gift.


[[folder: Live Action TV ]]

* Daniel Radcliffe guests starred in an episode ''Series/{{Extras}}'' as himself - a pathetic version of himself who is desperate to shag anything that moves and to shake off his Harry Potter persona by doing such "adult" things as smoking.
-->'''Radcliffe''': I've done it with a girl, intercourse-wise.
* Parodied with Dave in ''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'', who acts like an expert in all things, especially being a ladies' man. Judging by his tendency toward [[{{Malaproper}} malapropisms]] and the way he (deniedly) lives with his parents...
* Kirk St Moritz from ''DearJohn'' was always bragging about his non-existent conquests.
* In an episode of ''Series/QuantumLeap'' the son of the person Sam leapt into was a virgin and his "friends" mocked him for it, but according to [[WordOfGod Word Of Ziggy]] one of them was a virgin too.
* Richard Richard from ''Series/{{Bottom}}''.
** And Rik from its SpiritualPredecessor, ''Series/TheYoungOnes''.
* Bud Bundy from ''Series/MarriedWithChildren''.
* Prince Edmund in the first series of ''Series/{{Blackadder}}''.
* In ''Series/TheITCrowd'', Moss does this when he has to pretend to be married, several times going out of his way to mention all the frequent and amazing sex that goes on in his marriage.
* Xander's classmate in the ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' episode "Teacher's Pet". We know this because he becomes the prey of a MonsterOfTheWeek that only eats male virgins. He threatens to sue everyone when they figure this out.
** In a later [[SubvertedTrope subversion]] Xander gets an ex-demon girlfriend who always wants to talk about the sex they just had. With everyone with earshot. A subversion because [[TooMuchInformation she gives more details than anyone wants to know.]]
* The Todd from ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' is known across Sacred Heart and beyond for his high fives and constant sexual innuendo. When finally asked by the Janitor how many times he had sex recently the answer was a shame filled "Bagel."
* Parodied in the ''Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia'' episode "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention" with Dee and Denis's cousin nicknamed "Gail The Snail"
-->'''Gail''': "Guess what mom, I'm sexually active!"
-->'''Her mother''': "You're 33, you're supposed to be sexually active."
** She also bragged about losing her virginity to the gang. [[OfCourseImNotAVirgin Though who would be willing to sleep with her is anyone's guess.]]
* ''Series/{{Arrested Development}}'': Telling Michael he had sex with Starla:
-->'''Gob''': Guess who was just "over her." Don't-I'll tell you, me. I *bleep*ed the business model.
-->'''Voiceover''': Actually, they just made out.
-->'''Gob''': Yeah...she had all sorts of orgasms.
** This is a RunningGag with Gob; he also wants his AccidentalMarriage annulled but can't bring himself to admit that he didn't consummate it. He and his wife then consummate the marriage before he goes before a judge and says that they didn't.
* In the unaired pilot for the TV adaptation of ''ComicBook/GlobalFrequency'', the main female lead is listing her very lengthy list of academic qualifications, all of which she has achieved at a very young age (she's no older than thirty). The male lead makes an offhand joke along the lines of "how'd you find time to have a life?" The female lead, suddenly very touchy, begins insisting that she had a life, ending with a completely out of the blue and not very convincingly delivered declaration that she "had boyfriends," the implication being that she's lying and is probably still a virgin.
* [[spoiler: Mini [=McGuinness=]]] from the third generation of ''Series/{{Skins}}''.
* Jay from ''Series/TheInbetweeners'' does this all the time.
* Itano in ''Sakura Kara no Tegami''.
* Parodied in a ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' sketch where Paul Reiser AsHimself is interviewed on a talk show and is asked how many sexual partners he's had in his life. He answers three dozen, which the host then mishears as three, and proceeds to deconstruct ruthlessly, explaining that all men automatically exaggerate their numbers, so "three might really mean just two, one, or even zero." A group of proud virgins in the audience stand up to congratulate him and [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame immediately make him their rolemodel to his utter dismay]] and virulent protest.
* In one episode of ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', we get a flashback to Barney's school days. One of his classmates (probably around twelve years old) brags to Barney that [[BlatantLies he's slept with a hundred girls]]. Barney takes this at face value and retorts that someday, he'll sleep with ''two hundred'' girls. In a rare subversion of this trope, [[TheCasanova he actually does.]] When he calls up the old classmate to gloat, the classmate is quite disturbed and says that Barney needs help.
* Sheldon and Amy from ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' do this to convince Amy's mother that they are a couple, as she is uninterested in romance or sex [[CharacterizationMarchesOn (at first).]]
** In a later season, Sheldon is forced to work with a colleague he doesn't like. When he discovers that the other guy's work is more advanced than his, he is humiliated. The other guy says it's understandable, since Sheldon has a girlfriend to distract him. Sheldon goes along with the assumption, but unfortunately now the colleague wants to hear details...which Sheldon is far too clueless to provide. Hilarity ensues.
** In Season Eight, Amy and Sheldon finally have sex--so in Season Nine, Amy is very, ''very'' willing to bring up the fact that she's now sexually active, even when it has very little to do with the conversation at hand.
* ''Series/ThirtyRock'': Liz says of Jack's career troubles that he's having a tough year: "First William F. Buckley dies, now this? Next stop impotence, right?" In response, he just laughs way too loudly and leaves the room.
* ''{{Series/Supernatural}}'' has a walking manifestation of this trope and HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday in the form of Dean Winchester.
* In the ''Series/TheXFiles'' episode [[Recap/TheXFilesMiniseriesE03MulderAndScullyMeetTheWereMonster "Mulder And Scully Meet The Were-Monster"]], Guy Mann tells Mulder how he used to be a normal [[LizardFolk lizardman]] until a human bit him, causing him to occasionally [[OurWerebeastsAreDifferent transform into one]]. Mulder hears him out, but refuses to believe Guy's anecdote about Scully seducing him and taking him into the back room for a quickie. Guy admits to making up that part, and chalks it up to a newfound human tendency to tell lies about sex.
* The "Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge" sketch from ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''. Creator/EricIdle spends most of the duration peppering Creator/TerryJones with knowing sexual innuendo, leading to this final exchange.
-->'''Idle''': I mean, you've done it. You've...slept...with a lady.\\
'''Jones''': Yes?\\
'''Idle''': What's it like?


[[folder: Music ]]

* Music/TheLonelyIsland would like to tell you that they [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o just had sex!]] It was the best thirty seconds of their ''life!''
--> I just had sex! And I'll never go back (never go back!) to [[BuffySpeak the not-having-sex ways of the past!]]


[[folder: Theater ]]

* Rod from ''Theatre/AvenueQ'' incorporates this into his song, [[GirlfriendInCanada "My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada."]] Granted, he was [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday hiding something else]], [[TransparentCloset albeit unsuccessfully]], but there was a dose of this, too.


[[folder: Web Animation ]]

* In a ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' Valentine's day PSA:
-->'''Grif:''' Valentine's day? The day we celebrate love? And Romace? You know... girls?
-->'''Simmons:''' Ohhh yeah, I celebrate that ''all'' the time with ''all'' kinds of ladies.
-->'''Griff:''' Riiight. Then why didn't you know what I meant?
-->'''Simmons:''' I thought you said Valentine's... Doy?


[[folder: Webcomics ]]

* T-Rex from ''Webcomic/DinosaurComics'' seems to discuss non-existent/"hypothetical" relationships often.
** Though, early strips establish that [[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=4 he and Utahraptor were a couple in college.]]
** Also, did he mention that he and Dromiceiomimus had tea... '''[[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=106 and dinosaur sex]]'''?
* Milford in ''Webcomic/ScaryGoRound''. "Listen right, when I was on holiday, I met this girl, and got off with her like a hundred times" [[http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040906]]
* Joe in ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge'' is constantly talking about his amazing sex life, despite the fact we never see a female character react to him with anything other than contempt. He eventually admits to Danny "I have never actually had a threesome. I just talk a good game."


[[folder: Web Original ]]

%%* [[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Strong Bad]].
* Variation with WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic. He ReallyGetsAround, but he tries to convince us that he's just a normal player when really his love and sex life are both freak shows.
* [[SmallNameBigEgo Danny Sexbang]] of Music/NinjaSexParty. If his name didn't give it away, about half of their songs use this trope to some degree or another.
* Parodied by ''Website/TheOnion'': "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/teen-boys-losing-virginity-earlier-and-earlier-rep,35906/ Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier and Earlier, Report Teen Boys]]"
%%* [[http://50-trolls-of-gay.tumblr.com/post/84963358793/kasoukai-harleyteir-kasoukai-reblogging This]] Website/{{Tumblr}} post.


[[folder: Western Animation ]]

* Zapp Brannigan from ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''.
** "Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men."
** Although ironically, that quote comes from right after he ''really did'' have sex with a woman. And they ''are'' [[NoodleIncident certain it's a woman this time]]. Still, a later episode suggests this trope applies to him more often than not:
--> '''Zapp:''' You're the only woman who's ever loved me!
--> '''Leela:''' I never loved you!
--> '''Zapp:''' I mean ''physically!''
* Master Shake from ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'' likes to portray himself as a ladies'... shake, although it is repeatedly [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by someone (usually Frylock) pointing out that he doesn't even have genitalia or any knowledge of how sex even ''works.''
* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', Cartman claims he's been laid "like, five thousand times."