->''"Ground floor: Perfumery, stationery, and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food. Going up... "''
-->-- ''Series/AreYouBeingServed'' theme song

A {{stock phrase|s}} associated with department store elevators, which in RealLife often emit a prerecording that lists the "departments" of the current floor. (In the days of live elevator operators, it was typically the operator's job to do this.)

Typically the formula is two normal items and a plot relevant item, though this can be mixed up by having another mundane item after the plot-relevant item. The plot-relevant item is often jarringly discordant with the other mundane items: see BreadEggsMilkSquick.

If the department store's policy is "WeSellEverything" then the resulting LongList can sometimes become an OverlyLongGag.

Often TheElevatorFromIpanema. Might appear inside the elevators of a SapientShip.

Always included as part of an ElevatorGag. Also invoked as a PreAsskickingOneLiner for someone "dramatically" entering or ascending to a floor.


[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* ''Anime/TransformersCybertron'' used this once, to [[LullDestruction fill]] part of the StockFootage FighterLaunchingSequence.
-->'''Optimus Prime:''' This elevator could use a few windows. First floor, housewares.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* Comicbook/{{Nightwing}} and Comicbook/{{Robin}} are about to enter a hidden base. The control panel hidden in the tree makes an elevator rise out of the middle of the lake. They start slogging to it and Nightwing quips, "Step right in. Next floor, toys, games, electronics, center of the Earth."
%%* Raven in ''ComicBook/TeenTitansGo''%%

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* Used in the third part of the ''WebVideo/YuYuHakushoAbridged'' movie. "First floor: homicidal ex-partners".
* In ''Fanfic/WithStringsAttached'', there's a scene where the four have been shrunk, but George manages to get himself back to normal height. When he picks up the others to put them on his head (he can't carry them in his pockets because he's naked), he says “Top floor, hair oil, wigs, dandruff.” The others are too agitated to laugh.
* In ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone'' the four have to take an elevator up to see the Pyar gods. (ItMakesSenseInContext). The elevator has transparent doors and they can see the gigantic statues of the Pyars, so John starts to make silly announcements about them as they move past various bits, largely because they're all extremely nervous. Then Paul provides his own Muzak by humming “I've Just Seen A Face.”
* ''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space''. The LongList of floors in the SupervillainLair includes Weapons of Mass Destruction, Weapons of Minor Inconvenience, a storage floor for CardboardBoxes and a [[EveryoneHatesMimes Mime School]].
* The St. Mungo's elevator in ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/950682/chapters/2137423 Knights of the Founders]]'':
-->Now arriving on Basement Level One - In-Patient Rooms and Maternity Ward.\\
Now arriving on Basement Level Two - Pediatrics, Geriatrics, and General Consultation Rooms.

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* Appears in ''WesternAnimation/FlushedAway'' during the big finale:
-->'''Le Frog:''' Top floor! Lingerie, housewares, and certain doom!

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* The AudienceParticipation lines for ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' use this trope during the elevator ride early in the movie:
-->"First floor, lamps and curtains. Second floor, stupid questions. Third floor, stupid answers. Fourth floor, absolutely nothing. Fifth floor, show me something tall, green, and sexy! It's Bryant WesternAnimation/{{Gumby}}! It's [[Series/TheMuppetShow Kermit]] the Fag! It's Janet Reno in a ''Franchise/StarTrek'' outfit!"
** Of course, every location has different lines, but another one goes:
-->"First floor, pineapple-shaped dildos. Second floor, stupid questions. Third floor, midget's room. Fourth floor, Stevie Wonder's room. Fifth floor, who's that guy all dressed in green? That's no man, it's a gay marine, don't ask, don't tell, HOO-AH!\\
"First floor, weird musical numbers. Second floor, stupid questions. Third floor, strange answers. Fourth floor, Stevie Wonder's workshop. (Don't worry, he can't see it either!) Top floor, mad laboratory."
* ''Film/The5000FingersOfDrT'' has a song about all the tortures in the good doctor's dungeon:
-->''First floor dungeon\\
Assorted simple tortures\\
Molten lead, chopping blocks and hot boiling oil\\
Second floor dungeon\\
Jewelry department\\
Leg chains, ankle chains, neck chains, wrist chains, thumbscrews and nooses of the very finest rope\\
Basement dungeon\\
[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHVRxzvkJao EVERYBODY OUT!]]''
** The third floor dungeon was [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids cut from the film]] for some reason:
-->''Third floor dungeon\\
Household appliances.\\
Spike beds, electric chairs, gas chambers, roasting pots, and scalping devices.''
* In his typical fashion, Officer Vickers in ''Film/PsychoCopReturns'' says this when gets on a lift:
-->'''Vickers:''' Seventh floor, going up. Linens, luxury, eviscerated women.
* ''Film/DeconstructingHarry'' has the voice on the {{Hellevator}} read out:
-->Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics.\\
Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killers, lawyers who appear on television.\\
Floor seven: The media. Sorry, that floor is all filled up.\\
Floor eight: Escaped war criminals, TV evangelists, and the NRA.

* [[DeadpanSnarker Marco]] makes a joke along these lines in ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'', book 7, ''The Stranger''.
-->'''Marco:''' ''([[TheElevatorFromIpanema elevator music]] is playing)'' Top floor. Ladies shoes. Children's apparel. Everyone out.
* The Ministry of Magic in ''Literature/HarryPotter'' has an elevator that announces and describes the departments on each floor -- the punchline being that [[GovernmentConspiracy the Department of Mysteries]] is referred to only as the Department of Mysteries.
** [[Podcast/{{Rifftrax}} "Also housewares, ladies' lingerie, and blatant traps for idiot children."]]
* ''Franchise/StarWarsExpandedUniverse'': Castin Donn wishes the Empire would label the insides of its turbolift tubes. (Don't even ''ask'' [[ASimplePlan why he's inside the elevator shaft]]. Just don't.)

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* This kind of announcement message was used straight in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trhsw_BxT_k theme tune]] of ''Series/AreYouBeingServed'', which made sense, since it was set in a department store.
--->''Ground floor: Perfumery,\\
Stationery and leather goods,\\
Wigs and haberdashery,\\
Kitchenware and food...\\
Going up!\\\
First floor: Telephones,\\
Gents' ready-made suits,\\
Shirts, socks, ties, hats,\\
Underwear and shoes...\\
Going up!\\\
Second floor: Carpets,\\
Travel goods and bedding,\\
Material, soft furnishings,\\
Restaurant and teas...\\
Going down!''
** Incidentally, the series took place almost entirely on the first floor, which did in fact feature the menswear department. Oddly, it also featured the women's department, which went completely unannounced in the theme.
* Taken to extremes, as usual, by ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', in episode 41 ([[http://ibras.dk/montypython/episode41.htm#1 "Michael Ellis"]]):
-->Basement: Dangerous gases, viruses, contagious diseases, restaurant and toilet fixings.\\
Ground floor: Menswear, boyswear, effeminate goods hall, ill health foods.\\
Mezzanine: Tableware, kitchen goods, soft furnishings, hard furnishings, rock-hard furnishings.\\
First floor: Complaints.\\
Second floor: Cosmetics, jewellery, electrical, satire.\\
Third floor: Nasal injuries hall, other things.\\
Fourth floor: Granite hall -- rocks, shales, alluvial deposits, feldspar, Carpathians, Andes, Urals, mining requisites, atom-splitting service.\\
Fifth floor: Complaints.\\
Sixth floor: Complaints.\\
Seventh floor: Leather goods.\\
Eighth floor: Roof garden.\\
Ninth floor: Television aerials.\\
Tenth floor: Fresh air, [[UsefulNotes/BritishWeather clouds, occasional periods of sunshine]].
** Later on in the same store, a "Lift Woman" (elevator attendant) calls out:
-->'''Lift Woman:''' Second floor... stationery, leather goods, tribal head injuries, cricket bats, film stars, dolphinariums.\\
'''Lift Woman:''' Third floor... cosmetics, books, Irish massage, tribal head-gear, ants... but not complaints about ants!
* One episode of ''Series/{{MASH}}'':
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Here we are. First floor. Lingerie, sportswear, elephant accessories and recuperating patients.
* Kari spoofs this in one episode of ''Series/MythBusters'':
-->'''Kari:''' Aaand on this level, we have lumber, explosives and women's lingerie.\\
'''Grant:''' ''(wide-eyed AsideGlance)''
* Series/{{Farscape}} 4x07 "[[Recap/FarscapeS04E07JohnQuixote John Quixote]]" has a [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs ridiculous]] one;
-->[[Series/MaxHeadroom John Headroom]]: (Elevator music plays constantly) Yes I know. This elevator sucks. My job su-su-sucks. Day after day the same-the same thing. Up. Down. Up. Down-down. Just once-just once it'd be nice to go... sideways. Just-just... sideways. Frog Princes! (Door opens, a monster blows fire, John slays it.) N-n-not that I plan on doing this forever-ever. I have plans you know - (softly) Big (loudly) PLANS! I-I-I'm studying to be an astronaut. And... Penthouse! Have a good day.
* ''Series/MacGyver1985'': Jack Dalton issues one of these in the season two episode, "Dalton, Jack of Spies", when showing Mac where he runs his business.

* "Love in an Elevator" by Music/{{Aerosmith}} has an introduction in the video based on this trope. The album version too:
-->"Second floor, hardware, children's wear, lady's lingerie. Oh, good morning Mr. Tyler...[[ElevatorGoingDown going down?]]"
* "Paco!" by Music/{{Ladytron}}.
-->''Ground floor: ladies' clothes, sportswear, stationery\\
First floor: kitchenware, furnishings, confectionary\\
Second floor: children's toys, back to school, many more\\
Fourth floor: electronics, fake antiques, and lingerie''
* Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Hardware Store" song uses an extensive (and somewhat unusual) list of merchandise as the bridge.
* Industrial band Coil covered the ''Series/AreYouBeingServed'' theme song on their final album. (Your guess is as good as mine.)

* On the old Creator/AbbottAndCostello radio show, during World War II, Creator/MelBlanc (acting as WesternAnimation/BugsBunny), was an elevator operator in a department store, quoting "Cigarettes, Nylons, Rubber Tires, Gasoline, Sugar, and other picture postcards!" -- each item listed was rationed for the war effort.
* On ''Radio/AdventuresInOdyssey'' episode "The last great adventure of the summer" Agent Cat's Paw announces "Top floor: Lady's shoes, hand bags, international spies."

* "Elevator Song (Step to the Rear of the Car, Please)" from the musical ''Top Banana'' does this with quadruple rhymes and alliteration.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''Franchise/{{Halo}}''
** The ''VideoGame/HaloCombatEvolved'' level "[[ScrappyLevel The Library]]" has a segment titled "Fourth Floor: Tools, Guns, Keys to Super Weapons".
** ''VideoGame/HaloReach'' has section 1 of the level "Long Night of Solace": "First Floor: Beaches, Aliens, Top-Secret Launch Facilities".
* Used in ''VideoGame/TombRaiderChronicles'':
-->'''Zip:''' Bing! Ground floor. Depart here for gun-toting refrigerator men and long walk back upstairs!
* Daxter in ''VideoGame/JakIIRenegade'': "Ding ding, third floor! Body chains, roach food, torture devices!"
* ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar 2'':
-->'''Baird:''' Bottom floor! Sporting goods, lingerie, and [[HiveQueen one bitch-ass queen!]]
* ''VideoGame/CaptainAmericaSuperSoldier'':
-->'''Cap:''' Top floor! Ladies hosiery and anti-aircraft guns.
* Monkey King from ''VideoGame/{{Pirate101}}'' gives a series of these with a BreadEggsMilkSquick while ascending a traitorous Yakooza's tea house.
-->'''Monkey King:''' First Floor! Stationary! Sportswear! Rubber mallets... and pig archers!
-->'''Monkey King:''' Second Floor! Children's toys, Kitchenware! Confectionery.. and Yaketeers!
-->'''Monkey King:''' Third Floor! Molten Lead! Chopping blocks! Hot boiling oil.. and evil sorcerers!
-->'''Monkey King:''' Top Floor! Frying Pans! Razor Blades! Ladies garments... wannabe Yakooza Oyobuns! Everybody out!
* One of the stylized question-number introductions in ''VideoGame/YouDontKnowJack'' Volume 3: "15th floor: lingerie, housewares, and useless trivia."

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* During the Battle of Azure City in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', Xykon says "DING! 8th floor: Men's Outerwear, Sporting Goods, and [[NegativeSpaceWedgie Rifts in the Fabric of the Universe.]]" as he floats up the side of the tower.
* In ''Webcomic/{{Adventurers}}'', Khrima's personal [[TheRival rival]], helping out Eternion, makes an appearance with Lumi with this line. He even appears in a cosmic elevator of some sort.
-->'''Garshak:''' Ding! Third floor! Cookware, men's socks, battles for the fate of the universe, and giftwrapping!
* [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_806.php This]] ''Webcomic/DanAndMabsFurryAdventures'' strip.
* [[http://www.venisproductions.com/angelmoxie/archives/5/4/546.html This]] ''Webcomic/AngelMoxie'' strip.
-->'''Alex:''' Top floor, big angry demon lords.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* Paw of Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses uses "Level two! More mountains, snow, icicles, and owls!" in his LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/KingsQuestV'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn22Ab5-7Rs here]].
* Spoofed in WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment's LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/Phantasmagoria2'' when Curtis goes to investigate the restricted basement of Wyntech.
-->'''Spoony:''' *ding ding* Second floor: interdimensional portals and secret corporate black ops science labs!

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman,'' "The Everywhere Man". The title villain uses "Penthouse Level! Nefarious plots, brilliant schemes, doomed heroes."
* Appeared in ''WesternAnimation/{{Cyberchase}}'' a few times.
* Flash in the ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'' two-parter with Etrigan, "A Knight of Shadows".
-->'''Flash:''' Ding! Fifth floor -- hardware, sporting goods, evil sorceresses!
* ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManAndHisAmazingFriends'':
-->'''Iceman:''' First floor, bees! Second floor, bees! Third floor -- ''biiiig'' bees!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSpectacularSpiderMan'':
-->'''Mysterio:''' Second floor. Toys, Housewares, Superhero Defeat!
* From ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManUnlimited'':
-->'''Spider-Man:''' Basement level! Household linens, kitchenware, superheroes in need of breathing space!
* On ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'', Bloo does this while riding the house elevator with Mac. Halfway through he runs out of things to say and pesters Mac for ideas.
* Played straight in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife'', with Rocko announcing the departments on each floor. Every floor sold "underpants".
* In the episode "[[http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Make_Tracks Make Tracks]]" of ''WesternAnimation/TheTransformers'', Cosmos rescues an elevator full of people in freefall:
-->'''Cosmos:''' First floor. Movie theaters, shoe stores, and fast food restaurants.
* The WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes short ''Hare Conditioned'', 1945:
-->'''WesternAnimation/BugsBunny:''' Fifth floor! Rubber tires, sugar, bourbon, butter, and other picture postcards!
** See the Radio example above for the LateToThePunchline moment in this gag.
** Also occurs in ''Patient Porky'', where a [[Series/TheJackBennyProgram Rochester]] {{expy}} operates an elevator in a hospital.
-->"First floor: Acute asthma, anemia, arthritis, aches and apoplexy."
-->"Second floor: Beriberi, biliousness, bronchitis, bends and blind-staggers."
-->"Third floor: Colds, cramps, convulsions, corns, callouses, concussions and curvature of all kinds."
-->"Palsy, palpitations, pimples, pleurisy and p-neumonia."
* ''WesternAnimation/AladdinTheSeries'' has the Genie pull this off in one episode after rescuing the rest of the cast; "First floor, amazing rescues, ridiculous fight scenes and happy endings!"
* In the ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'' episode "3 Squares and an Ed", upon reaching the basement via Double-D's specially lubricated laundry chute, Eddy says:
-->'''Eddy:''' Bottom floor: Dryer lint, paint cans, lonely socks, and mildew!\\
''(Edd lands through a different chute)''\\
'''Edd:''' ... and arachnids!
* One episode of ''Disney/OneHundredAndOneDalmatians: The Series'' has a variation of this: the puppies (and Spot) sneak into Cruella's enormous ride-through closet, which shuttles them along as a prerecorded voice points out the various sections along the way. And the last one listed is "lingerie".
* [[ManiacMonkeys The Monkey King]] in ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures'':
-->"Third floor: housewares, ladies' undergarments, ''puppets''!"
* Garfield in the ''WesternAnimation/GarfieldAndFriends'' segment "Ship Shape" occurring on a cruise ship.
-->'''Garfield:''' Going up. Next floor: notions, lotions, oceans, commotions, and lasagna.

[[folder:Real Life]]
* Creator/MarlonBrando, of all people, worked as an elevator operator. He quit because saying "lingerie" out loud embarrassed him.
* In order for blind people using an elevator to know what floor they are on, elevators generally give low pings as they cross floors they are not stopping at, and much louder ones when they do stop. Some elevators automatically announce the floor number.