[[quoteright:313:[[Webcomic/SandraAndWoo http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/t_ask_9693.png]]]]

->''Some honcho in a cushy office on Earth says go look at a grid reference in the middle of nowhere, we look. They don't say why, and I don't ask. I don't ask because it takes two weeks to get an answer out here and the answer's always 'don't ask.'''
-->-- '''Film/{{Aliens}}'''

A StockPhrase That comes up in several situations:

* 1. As a response to "How was your day?". Used this way, it implies that it's been a very bad day indeed.
* 2. As a response to "How did ''that'' happen?". Used this way, it implies ItsALongStory.
* 3. As a response to "How do ''you'' know that?". used this way, it implies a more detailed answer would provide TooMuchInformation.
* 4. Before anybody could even ask when they see the character in something awkward.

Sometimes the statement is made preemptively, before the other person can even ask a question. Usually used to avoid recapping events the audience has already witnessed, or used to set up a NoodleIncident.

See also YouDoNotWantToKnow.

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!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Film]]
* ''Arabesque''
-->'''Yasmin Azir''': This is like a recurring dream I used to have.
-->'''David Pollock''': How did it end?
-->'''Yasmin Azir''': Don't ask!
* ''Film/AsGoodAsItGets''
-->'''Carol Connelly''': How are you?
-->'''Simon Bishop''': Don't ask.
* ''Film/{{Heat}}''
-->'''Nate''': What happened out there?
-->'''Neil [=McCauley=]''': Don't ask.
* ''{{Film/Outlander}}''
-->'''Wulfric''': This is where your ship went down?
-->'''Kainan''': That's right.
-->'''Wulfric''': In a lake?
-->'''Kainan''': Don't ask.
* ''The Adventures of YoungIndianaJones: Daredevils of the Desert''
-->'''Indiana Jones''': What happened? How did you get away from those Arabs?
-->'''Maya''': Don't ask.
* ''Film/TheGreatEscape''
-->[Materials being used for escape clothes]
-->'''Bartlett''': Where in God's name did you get these?
-->'''Griffith''': Hendley.
-->'''Bartlett''': Well, where did he get them?
-->'''Griffith''': Well, I asked him that.
-->'''Bartlett''': What did he say?
-->'''Griffith''': "Don't ask."
* ''TheSecretOfNIMH''
-->'''Teresa''': What are you doing here?
-->'''Jeremy''': Good question, but don't ask.
* ''Trouble Man''
-->'''Mr. T''': What's happenin', Willy?
-->'''Willy''': Don't ask. Also don't have daughters who marry schmuck husbands.
* ''Film/MurderByDeath''
-->'''Milo Perrier''': ''(Bursts into the room wearing the dead butler's clothing)'' Don't ask me!
-->'''Dick Charleston''': What ''are'' you doing in the butler's uniform?
-->'''Milo Perrier''': I said don't ask me! I don't know. It all happened too quickly!
* From ''Film/LegallyBlonde'':
-->''(Emmett staring at Elle as she stands in line to buy a computer, wearing a Playboy bunny outfit)''
-->'''Elle''': Don't ask.
-->'''Emmett''': Wasn't gonna.
* From ''Film/CharliesAngels''
-->''(After Dylan arrives in a small motorcycle and clothes obviously too small for her)''
-->'''Dylan''': ''(to Natalie and Alex)'' Don't ask.
* ''Film/TommorrowNeverDies''
-->''James Bond:'' [While in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor, and on the phone with Moneypenny] I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.
-->''Moneypenny:'' You always were a cunning linguist, James.
-->''Moneypenny:'' [M walks up from behind Moneypenny] Don't ask.
-->''M:'' Don't tell.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix''
-->'''Luna''': (''regarding her father'') He's always saying he'd believe anything of Fudge; I mean, the number of goblins Fudge has had assassinated! And of course he uses the Department of Mysteries to develop terrible poisons, which he secretly feeds to anybody who disagrees with him. And then there's his Umgubular Slashkilter —
-->'''Harry''': (''to Cho Chang'') Don't ask.
** Madame Pomfrey seems to know not to ask. In all her years at Hogwarts she probably has seen a fair share of students with injuries the result of things students shouldn't be doing. Just looks at Ron's dragon bite there's no way that she bought Ron's story that a dog bit him.Also given her status as a healer it's very likely she knew Hermione had a mishap with Pollyjuice Potion. Could also be a case of [[YouDontWantToKnow I Dont Want To Know.]]
* In ''Discworld/GoingPostal'' the Post Office has a long list of things not to ask about, [[ApronMatron Mrs Cake]] is featured three times. Later when a Golem that used to work in a messenger service for an ancient empire is hired it turns out that the ancients also had a very similar list. The Goddess C'zol appears multiple times. Naturally [[EmbarrassingFirstName Moist]] finds himself asking, only to be told "Do Not Ask!".
[[/folder]]

[[folder:LiveActionTV]]
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' episode "Wrecked"
-->'''Willow''': Magic wasn't all great. I won't miss the nosebleeds and the headaches and stuff.
-->'''Buffy''': There you go.
-->'''Willow''': Or keeping stinky yak cheese in my bra. Don't ask.
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'' episode "Home Is Where the Heart Stops"
-->'''Kate Beckett''': ''[shows her badge while wearing a slinky dress at the fancy charity ball]''
-->'''Richard Castle''': Where was the badge?
-->'''Kate Beckett''': [[VictoriasSecretCompartment Don't ask.]]
* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' episode "I Shrink Therefore I Am"
-->'''Rygel''': There's a wrinkled old woman floating outside the forward portal.
-->'''John Crichton''': Whoa. Gigantic oops. [to D'Argo] Can you do me a favor? Pop outside the tier three treblin side hatch and haul Granny in.
-->'''D'Argo''': Noranti is outside?
-->'''John Crichton''': Yeah. Don't ask.
* ''JustShootMe'' episode "La Cage"
-->'''Elliot [=DiMauro=]''': Nina, I told you I'd never work with Nikki Ellston.
-->'''Nina Van Horn''': I thought you said Mickey Rooney.
-->'''Elliot [=DiMauro=]''': Why would I say Mickey Rooney?
-->'''Nina Van Horn''': Oh, that's right. ''I'' won't work with Mickey Rooney. Don't ask.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' episode "Taken"
-->'''Detective Tutuola''': He lives at 1634 Broadway.
-->'''Detective Munch''': Not unless he's one of the nuts lobbying for yet another extension of "Cats". That's the Winter Garden Theatre. ''[Fin gives Munch a look]'' Don't ask.
* ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle''
-->'''Doctor''': ''[after Dewey's stomach is pumped]'' We didn't find any candles, but we did find some marbles. And the waistband to a pair of underpants.
-->'''Dewey''': Don't ask.
* In ''Series/{{Monk}}'':
** In the episode "Mr. Monk Goes to Vegas", Monk's instruction to Natalie when she walks in to see Stottlemeyer singing a karaoke version of "Ain't No Sunshine".
** In "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Wife," Leland quietly says this to the garbagemen when they discover Monk is throwing away water in a garbage bag.
* ''Series/{{NCIS}}'' episode "Silver War"
-->''([[PerkyGoth Abby]] hugs Bert, the stuffed hippo that farts)''
-->'''Tony''': ''(to Ziva)'' Don't ask.
* ''{{Skins}}'' episode "Sid"
-->'''Chris Miles''': Last night, man. Cool. Total blast. Everything you could ever want from an evening. Songs, choir girls, colourful costumes, fellatio, rabbits...
-->'''Maxxie''': Rabbits?
-->'''Chris Miles''': Don't ask, man.
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' episode "In the Cards"
-->'''Giger''': Where's the hydrosaline solution?
-->'''Jake Sisko''': We should have it soon. Nog just got the bear...Don't ask.
** And in the epsode "Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang," after [[ButtMonkey O'Brien]] comes back from being [[ItMakesSenseInContext strip-searched]]:
--> '''Bashir:''' Where have you been?\\
'''O'Brien:''' I ''don't'' want to talk about it.
* ''The YoungIndianaJones Chronicles'' episode "Palestine, October 1917"
-->'''Indiana Jones''': Where have you been?
-->'''Rashid''': Don't ask. Next time, you play the dead man!
* In TheGoodies, Graeme has fallen into a hole where he decides to do some archaeology. He deduces that when he calls up to the surface to Bill and Tim there is a seven second delay, causing this exchange:
-->'''Graeme:''' (''to himself'') Let's see, I could do with my archaeology kit and...oh, a bite to eat. (''to above, loudly'') Yeah, chuck us down my old tweed suit. Oh, and a couple of doughnuts.
-->'''Bill:''' (''into the hole'') Do you want anything to eat?
-->'''Graeme:''' (''delayed'') Yeah, chuck us down my old tweed suit.
-->'''Tim:''' Anything to wear?
-->'''Graeme:''' (''delayed'') Oh, and a couple of doughnuts.
-->'''Bill:''' (''to Tim'') Where's, uh...where's he gonna wear ''them?''
-->'''Tim:''' Never mind!
* The Cat says this to the others in the ''Series/RedDwarf'' episode "Backwards", having just found out what going to the loo [[AssShove in reverse]] is like.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" by Music/WarrenZevon, third verse:
-->''I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar''
-->''She asked me if I'd beat her''
-->''She took me back to the Hyatt House....''
-->[spoken] I don't wanna talk about it...
[[/folder]]

[[folder:VideoGames]]
* ''DestroyAllHumans! 2''
-->'''Crypto''': This gas is noxious. Smells like Pox's underwear. Don't ask me how I know that.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WebAnimation]]
* ''RedVsBlue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles'' episode "Have We Met?"
-->''[Snip description of bizarre events involving time travel and a rocket launcher]''
-->'''Church''': ''[to yellow Church]'' Well, what did you do?
-->'''Church''': Dude, don't ask. Trust me, it - it didn't work.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* Used verbatim in its 4th form in ''Webcomic/LaserFeet'''s [[http://www.thelaserfeet.com/comic/017/ 17th]] comic.
* Said by Susan to Jerry in ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' after a somewhat lengthy CallBack, [[http://egscomics.com/?date=2010-07-21 here.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WebOriginal]]
* WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic, at the end of his review of [[spoiler:''Casper'']]
** It's exactly at the end of the video. [[spoiler:As he is exiting from the GMX expo. In a Ghostbuster suit. And he is completely soaked. Don't Ask.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WesternAnimation]]
* ''Disney/OneHundredAndOneDalmatians: The Series''
-->'''Rolly''': What things could a chicken possibly want?
-->'''Lucky''': Don't ask.
* ''TransformersAnimated''
-->'''[[TheStarscream Starscream]]''': So, which [[LiteralSplitPersonality part of me]] did ''you'' come from?
-->'''[[OppositeSexClone Slipstream]]''': [[YouDoNotWantToKnow Don't ask.]]
* [[WesternAnimation/{{Madagascar}} Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa]]
-->'''Elephant(with trunk tied in a knot)''': Don't ask.
-->'''Melman''': Ha, [[GullibleLemmings someone's]] [[DeadpanSnarker been]] [[IncrediblyLamePun knotty]].
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Recess}}''
-->'''T.J.''': My older brother used to play on Old Rusty.
-->'''Spinelli''': My mom used to play on Old Rusty!
-->'''Mikey''': Heck, my Uncle Mary used to play on Old Rusty!
-->'''Vince''': Your Uncle ''Mary''?
-->'''Gretchen''': [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Don't ask.]]
* In the WesternAnimation/DangerMouse episode "Turn Of The Tide," D.M. and Penfold are on the moon trying to find the cause of earth's oceans flooding land masses. They meet Keith, an alien who manages a junk shop there and they find the crater of Copernicus is jammed with wrecked space vehicles:
-->'''D.M.''' It's all this mass! There's too much heavy metal!
-->'''Penfold:''' Yes, too much heavy metal is enough to make anyone go barmy. I'm into electric boogaloo.
-->'''Keith:''' What's he on about, mate?
-->'''D.M.:''' Don't ask. Please. Don't ask!
* In [[WesternAnimation/{{YoungJustice}} Young Justice: Invasion]], Tye Longshadow question about Blue Beet (Jaime) he was able to talk to Asami in Japanese.
-->'''Tye:''' Dude, you speak japanese?
-->'''Jaime:''' Scarab translate, don't ask.
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'' the Italian prime minister is found shot dead in Malory's apartment, which happened during a sex play, that involved him in a full-body latex suit and with a dildo up his ass. Only Archer and Lana gets this story, before the rest of the ISIS staff is called in to depose of the body.
-->'''Ray:''' Speaking of, why the hell is the Italian Prime Minister here?\\
'''Archer & Lana:''' Don't ask.\\
[...]\\
'''Malory:''' Oh God, that reminds me— Kreiger!\\
'''Kreiger:''' Yeah, I found it.\\
'''Cyril:''' What?\\
'''Archer & Lana:''' ''Don't ask!''\\
'''Kreiger:''' Can I keep it?\\
'''Cheryl:''' Keep what?\\
'''Archer & Lana:''' '''''DON'T ASK!'''''
* One of Santa's reindeer says this in ''The Story of Santa Claus'', when a bird sees them flying and starts flapping in place with a shocked look.
* ''WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory'':
** In "Sister Mom", Dexter and "Mom" (a disguised Dee Dee) attend a conference with the school principal. When the principal's secretary calls them into the office, "Mom" joyously dances around singing "Dexter is in trouble!"; Dex shoots the secretary a sideways glance and says "Don't ask!" in a flat, annoyed tone of voice.
** In "Dexter's Debt", Dexter's Dad asks the mailman about his day. The mailman tells Dexter's Dad not to ask and Dexter's Dad says it's too late because he already did.
[[/folder]]

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