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->''See how she leanes her cheek upon her hand.''
->''O that I were a glove upon that hand,''
->''That I might touch that cheek.''
-->-- ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet''

It never fails; show a sexy woman touching a particular object (especially if she's hugging it, sitting on it, or [[OralFixation has it in her mouth]]), and somebody will say "Boy, I wish I were [object]." Even if [[MaggieGyllenhaal she's]] [[LetsMeetTheMeat eating an apple]].

See also CargoShip, when the audience imagines a CrackPairing along similar lines.

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!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* Sony has used this in ads for the PlaystationPortable.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* Several times throughout ''Manga/ToLoveRu'', there were comments on desperate guys wanting to become an article of clothing on [[MsFanService Lala's]] body. At one point, Yuuki Rito (through a bizarre set of circumstances) becomes Lala's personal robot Peke. One of Peke's main jobs is to materialize clothes for Lala which he (and in this case, Rito) must control, so in essence '''he actually accomplished the trope'''.
** Ironically, Yuuki himself never openly expressed this trope (although it was hinted that he found it arousing, he felt that this aspect of Peke's occupation would be rather awkward should he be in the same position). While he probably ''was'' aroused by the situation, he also found it excruciatingly awkward and embarrassing.
* ''MysteriousGirlfriendX'' chapter 61 has Tsubaki become envious of a shirt he left with Urabe, [[SexyShirtSwitch as she decided to use it as pajamas]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Film}}]]
* ''Film/{{Wishmaster}}'' uses a variant. In the fourth film a bartender says within earshot of the series' JackassGenie (who's disguised as a human) "I'd sell my soul to be a pimple on her ass" in reference to a hot stripper working in the place. The Djinn is more than happy to grant his wish.
* A review of ''Film/ALifeLessOrdinary'' included a picture of Cameron Diaz BoundAndGagged with the caption "Oh! To be that duct tape! Oh! To be that rope!"
* The Pauly Shore comedy ''Film/BioDome'' shows him and a buddy going to a job interview. When asked what their ambitions in life are, one of the boys says: "To die and come back as a leotard," and the other one nods and starts breathing heavily.
* In ''Film/FridayThe13th2009'' reboot, Chewey wishes he could "die and come back as one of the little buttons on the ass pocket" of Bree's jean shorts.
* At the end of ''Film/DeadHeat'', Doug says he'd like to come back as a girl's bicycle seat.
* Jackie Mason's character in ''CaddyshackII'', when told to "be the ball," responds with, "If I wanted to be a piece of sports equipment, I'd be a women's bicycle seat!"
* The ''Romeo And Juliet'' example is parodied in ''Film/TromeoAndJuliet'': Tromeo says those same lines while Juliet's gloved hands are touching her ''other'' cheeks.
* In ''Film/VanillaSky'' Tom Cruise's character says he wants to be the mole on his girlfriend's breast.
* In ''Film/WithHonors'', Moira Kelly calls Creator/BrendanFraser's character into the bathroom to talk to him while she is in the shower and shaving her legs (we can partly see her through the shower curtain). Though his back is turned he can't resist checking her out in the mirror, and after leaving he remarks "Never wanted to be a razor so bad in my life."
* In ''Film/{{Christine}}'' two teenagers watch a girl nibbling the end of a pencil, and they say how they wish they were an eraser.
* In ''Film/CitySlickers'', two guys are watching an attractive woman riding a horse, and one of them says, "Boy, that saddle's having all the fun."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Literature}}]]
* A gender-flipped version in the novelization of ''SupermanReturns'' as Kitty watches LexLuthor "playing" with a [[DataCrystal crystal]].
* An anthology of ''DominoLady'' short stories had her team up with ComicBook/{{Airboy}}. At the end, she leaves a lipstick mark on [[CoolPlane Birdy]] and Airboy remarks that for the first time, he's actually envious of his plane.
* Dan Rhodes "The Violoncello" features a truly bizarre example, a young man actually has his soul transferred into a cello, one then given to his girlfriend, who's a music student. [[spoiler: It doesn't end well.]]
* Creator/AlexanderPushkin has a short poem dedicated to a tobacco sniffing girl. In the end, he states he wishes to be that tobacco, for her [[{{Fetish}} to spill a bit over herself]].
* In the Literature/{{Burke}} novels, prosecutor Eva Wolfe is smoking a cigarette when she notices a man leering at her.
-->"I wish I was that cigarette."
-->"So do I." (drops it on the ground and crushes under her heel)
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Live-Action TV}}]]
* In ''JustShootMe'', Dennis and Kevin are watching Maya's new assistant Amy drink coffee. Dennis wishes he were the coffee mug, so that she would have her lips all over him. Kevin, on the other hand, wishes he were the spoon, "so that she could pick me up by my ankles and dip me in steaming hot coffee."
* In ''Series/RobinHood'' Guy of Gisborne watches Marian pet her horse, at which point the Sheriff asks him: "Not envious of a horse, are you?"
* In ''LizzieMcGuire'', Lizzie makes a remark like this regarding the helmet on Ethan Craft's head.
* During New Directions' performance of "Toxic" on ''{{Glee}}'': "I WANNA BE THAT HAT!" (the hat in question being held in front of Mr. Schu's crotch)
* An episode of ''SavedByTheBell'' had a guy woo a girl with poetry, wishing to be her straw so that he could touch her lips. Screech sees the effectiveness and tries it on Lisa, "I wish I were the ketchup on your plate / So you could stick your french fries in my face!" Lisa crams her french fries in Screech's mouth and walks off in disgust.
* GenderFlip: In an episode of ''{{Friends}}'' when Phoebe has spontaneously developed a crush on Monica and Ross's dad, and therefore finds all the decidedly ordinary things he does sexy: "What I wouldn't give to be that can of condensed milk!"
* ''Series/{{Community}}'' has Troy and Abed both attracted to a HotLibrarian, with Troy wishing he was her book so she could flip through his pages and stop people drawing weiners in him.
* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'': While at the nudie bar, Jefferson needs to get an anniversary gift for his wife, a stripper suggests a tattoo and shows everyone hers (It's her boyfriend's name and it is somewhere that can't be shown on tv)
--> '''Ike:''' Oh man, I'd love to be her boyfriend.
--> '''Griff''' I'd love to be her boyfriend's name.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Meta]]
* On this very wiki, some of the actress pages have captions under their pictures invoking this trope; in particular, Creator/CarlaGugino, Creator/SummerGlau and Creator/MaggieGyllenhaal, whose example overlaps oddly with LetsMeetTheMeat.
** As does the page for the WrenchWench trope.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Music}}]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSL6nzNPLP8 Life would be oh so sweet, if I was a bicycle seat.]]
** A Brazilian [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8LSUiU0KxY song]] was similar (also asking to be some girl's panties)
* The old song "Cindy, Cindy":
-->I wish I was an apple
-->A-hangin' on a tree,
-->And every time my Cindy'd pass
-->She'd take a bite of me.
* The song "Ticks": "You press your bottle to your lips, and I wish I was your beer".
* "Jealous of your Cigarette" by Hawksley Workman
-->I'm jealous of your cigarette\\
And all the things you do with it\\
I'm jealous of your cigarette\\
And how you wanna suck on it\\
And not me
* Charlotte Martin has [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVb4d_eTejY Keep Me In Your Pocket.]]
* Sergio Mendes' song "Like a Lover" is full of this trope:
-->"How I envy a cup that knows your lips\\
Let it be me, my love\\
And a table that feels your fingertips\\
Let it be me, let me be your love."
* "Bang on a Piano" by Jack [=McManus=] has "And that blanket wrapped around you, wish that was me."
* "(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear" by Bryan Adams, inspired by the public reveal of a private phone call between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles.
* Katherine Hinkson's "Irish Love Song" set to the Londonderry Air (better known as the tune to "Danny Boy.")
-->Would God I were the tender apple blossom\\
That floats and falls from off the twisted bough\\
To lie and faint within your silken bosom\\
Within your silken bosom as that does now.
* The {{filk}} song ''[[http://www.echoschildren.org/CDlyrics/Commonthings.html Common Things]]'' by EchosChildren
-->All these common things surround you, and my heart has no defense.\\
Am I mad that I might envy things with neither thought nor sense?\\
Even though they never know it, yet your passing lends them grace;\\
I would trade and count it fortune, to be standing in their place.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvd3qCnsAaY&ob=av2e Toni Braxton's Spanish guitar]] I wish that I was in your arms/ like that Spanish Guitar/and you could play me through the night until the dawn...
* "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy:
-->Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet\\
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans\\
* "Gasoline" by {{Music/Seether}} has one increasingly [[{{Squick}} squicky]] example in each verse.
* {{ABBA}}'s song "Dum Dum Diddle" from the "Arrival" album:
-->Dum-dum-diddle, to be your fiddle\\
To be so near you and not just hear you\\
Dum-dum-diddle, to be your fiddle\\
I think then maybe you'd see me, baby\\
You'd be mine\\
And we'd be together all the time\\
Wish I was, dum-dum-diddle, your darling fiddle
* From TomLehrer's "Masochism Tango":
-->And I envy the rose\\
That you held in your teeth, love,\\
With the thorns underneath, love,\\
Sticking into your gums.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* More than once during Stacy Keibler's ring entrances (which involve her slowly bending over and straddling the middle rope as she steps into the ring), commentator Jerry Lawler has wished he could be the middle rope.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* OlderThanSteam: [[ZerothLaw From]] Creator/WilliamShakespeare comes
** ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'':
-->''See how she leanes her cheek upon her hand.''
-->''O that I were a glove upon that hand,''
-->''That I might touch that cheek.''\\

** ''Theatre/AntonyAndCleopatra'':
--> "O happy horse, to bear the weight of Antony!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Poetry]]
* It seems to have been taken down now, but there used to be a poem on deviantART expressing envy of DavidBowie's microphone stand.
* The Tennyson poem ''[[http://www.poetry-archive.com/t/the_millers_daughter.html The Miller's Daughter]]'' has the poet desiring to be her earring, corset, and necklace, all so that he could be close to her.
* OlderThanFeudalism: in Creator/{{Ovid}}'s ''Amores'', he expresses a strong desire to be the ring on his mistresses finger.
* Likewise, in many of the poems of Creator/{{Catullus}}, he desires to be this or that belonging to his mistress, Lesbia. Most famously, he wants to be her ''passer'' or pet "sparrow." [[ADateWithRosiePalms Though some believe it may not really be a sparrow]].
* John Donne's "The Flea" makes it sound like he's envious that the titular parasite has been more intimate with the addressee than he has. However, rather than wallow in jealousy he uses InsaneTrollLogic to justify to her why, since the same flea has bitten both of them, they've as good as had sex already so they may as well do it for real.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'', [[CoolStarship EDI]] gets a [[RobotGirl humanoid platform]]. [[LoveableSexManiac Kenneth Donnelly]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klmOijhuhxM&feature=share&list=PLDBBC69728281C88B notes]] that "if she ever accidentally walks into a wall, there's just [[MostCommonSuperpower so much padding]]. Wish I were a wall." The long-suffering Gabrielle Daniels says "You pretty much are, Kenneth."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Web Comics}}]]
* ''{{Nodwick}}'': ''"[[http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/gamespyarchive/index.php?date=2007-02-14 Lucky bastard sword!]]"''. Of course, [[EmpathicWeapon it's already a piece of metal]], but what with all this "melting down" part.
* ''Webcomic/SequentialArt'' got [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=194 this]] demonstrated by the AuthorAvatar (''hamster'')... and a [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=236 platypus]]. [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=311 Yes]], [[EverythingsBetterWithPlatypus platypus]].
* ''Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness'' has [[http://www.explosm.net/comics/1507/ this]]. Naturally, it goes horribly wrong.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Web Original}}]]
* In the third episode of ''WebVideo/NarutoTheAbridgedComedyFandubSpoofSeriesShow'', Naruto spies on Sasuke, who is eating a riceball, and exclaims, "Oh my god, Sasuke is so fucking pretty! What I wouldn't give to be that riceball..."
** "I am going to get all up in his guts!"
* On the Cheeseburger Network section So Much Pun, this [[http://puns.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/03/20/funny-puns-breast-job-ever/ arguably applies]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Western Animation}}]]
* In a sketch on ''RobotChicken'', a young man who's died and is going to be reincarnated has to spin a wheel to find out what he's going to be reincarnated ''as''. One of the options is "KeiraKnightley's panties". Guess which one he wants. Go on, guess.
** Lampshaded by the Monk who shows him the wheel, who sighs and gives an annoyed "''everyone'' wishes for that one".
* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'': "Let's face it, if that wishing bowl really worked, it would belong to a centuries-old Incan driving a Ferrari on his way to his job as Creator/JessicaAlba's G-string."
* Parodied in ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' by Chris
-->'''Chris''': She's so pretty that if your Hacky Sack were my private parts, I'd let her do that to them.
-->'''Classmate''': What? Kick them around?
-->'''Chris''': ..Wait... ... ... ...yes.
** Also, Peter in the Wonder Twins parody
-->'''Peter:''' Form of Jayna's tampon! ...And now we play the waiting game.
* ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' had a complex version of this that started off as:
-->'''Jake''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext "You wish you were my butt."]]
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