%%
%%You really don't need to pothole a picture so it leads to the page you're already on.
%%
[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/OutThere http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/OutThereButIWouldReallyEnjoyIt_2598.gif]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350:We can't imagine what that decision will be.]]

->''"I shouldn't be around him, I might do something I regret. I mean, I'd enjoy it, but... I'd regret it. I mean, I'd ''really'' enjoy it, but, oh, I really would-"''
-->-- '''Kerry Hennessy''', ''Series/EightSimpleRules'', "Closure"

Perhaps a character doesn't want [[SexChangesEverything to change her relationship]]. Maybe she's [[LysistrataGambit trying to force her partner into doing something]]. It might [[NoSexAllowed be illegal]]. Or possibly she's GenreSavvy enough to know [[DeathBySex the consequences]]. In any case, there's a reason why this character doesn't want to have sex with somebody.

[[{{Lust}} But she has trouble resisting her urges.]]

Oddly, when the character isn't in a relationship, this trope is [[DoubleStandard almost exclusively applied to females]]. Apparently, [[AManIsAlwaysEager men wouldn't even think about refusing sex in the first place]]. When the character is in a relationship, it can apply to both genders - although if sex follows, expect [[TheUnfairSex another double standard]].

Compare UnresolvedSexualTension, which is when the circumstances keep the two apart. May be a result of CantHaveSexEver and VirginPower. Often ends in AboveTheInfluence. Can overlap with ArentYouGoingToRavishMe. Expect AnAesop about how SexIsEvil or YouNeedToGetLaid, [[AuthorOnBoard depending on the show's views on the matter]].

----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Anime and Manga ]]

* This trope is at the heart of the relationship drama in ''HyakujitsuNoBara'', where Taki is supposed to remain [[CantHaveSexEver physically]] and spiritually [[VirginPower pure]], but is in love with Klaus, [[LockedOutOfTheLoop who doesn't know about this]]. When he does give in, it's just before he's deported and is unlikely to see Klaus again. Of course, when Klaus announces that he intends to give up his own life to follow Taki the shit really hits the fan.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comic Book ]]

* Dwight from ''SinCity'' is revisited by his ex-girlfriend Ava Lord, who wants his help. He refuses at first, but he eventually gives in when the temptation grows.
* After {{Magneto}} came to live on Utopia as the X-Men's ally, he started to express an interest in Rogue, trying to rekindle the romantic spark that had briefly flared up during their time together in the Savage Land. Rogue rebuffed all such real and imagined advances because of the many terrible things he had done to her and her friends while in world-conquering villain mode, and in ''X-Men Legacy'' #249 he himself had a change of heart and told her that becoming involved with him was a bad idea and that she should return to Gambit. It was after this that Rogue had a change of heart of her own and decided to go with her feelings for one night of passion with Magneto at any rate, noting
-->"Most people ''want'' the things they know are gonna turn out to be ''bad'' for them."

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Fanworks ]]

* Ridiculously common in ''Literature/HarryPotter'' fanfiction, as someone (usually Harry) tells himself why having sex with his [[FoeYay ene]][[HoYay my]] (usually [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco]] or [[TallDarkAndSnarky Snape]]) would be a very bad idea.
* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4319623/50/Brave_New_World Brave New World]]: Pikachu, at first, has this sort of relationship with [[spoiler: Dawn]]. He likes her and finds her facinating, but is convinced that, because she has declared herself his vassal, she feels she has no choice in the matter and would sleep with him purely out of duty. [[spoiler: Dawn]] later assures him that she likes him too, and while she would sleep with him out of duty if he demanded it of her, if he asked, she would do it out of love.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Film ]]

* Part of Frollo's motivation in ''[[Disney/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame The Hunchback Of Notre Dame]]'', best illustrated in his VillainSong "Hellfire". A RareMaleExample, [[JustifiedTrope justified]] by the fact that Frollo considers himself a very pious and righteous man (even though what he does to people throughout the movie is anything ''but'' pious or righteous).
* The original ''[[TheWickerMan Wicker Man]]'' has another Rare Male Example. The main character, Howie, a pious virgin who firmly believes that sex should take only place after marriage, is at one point the subject of an attempted seduction by Willow, the gorgeous landlord's daughter who may possibly have pagan magical powers. He manages to resist it, but is trembling with desire the whole time. [[spoiler:Considering what happens to him, maybe he should have.]]
* In ''Mr. Mom,'' Joan (Ann Jillian) comes over with the intention seducing Jack (Michael Keaton) while his wife is at work. He excuses himself to the bathroom and tries to talk himself out of giving in to her by rattling off reasons why he shouldn't do it. It takes him a good while to convince himself that it would be wrong, but he eventually does.
* In the first ''Film/{{Ghostbusters}}'', Venkman comes to visit Dana and finds she is possessed by Zuul, which makes her want to sleep with (whoever she thinks is) the Keymaster. He refuses, since she isn't in her right mind (and doubtless also because he has every reason to fear dire consequences if he does), but he's tempted.
-->'''Dana:''' I want you inside me.
-->'''Venkman:''' Go ahead - no, I can't. Sounds like you got at least at least two people in there already. Might be a little crowded.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Literature ]]

* In ''TheHollows'', Rachel finds herself [[ElevatorGoingDown in an elevator]] with Kisten. On one hand, she has a boyfriend, and Kisten hasn't exactly been nice to her so far. On the other hand, she has [[PreClimaxClimax accepted that she's probably about to die]] and is highly vulnerable to [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire pheromones]]. She gives into him, but is pulled back into reality when the elevator doors open.
* Callista in the ''{{Darkover}}'' series previously had a job that required her to be a virgin, and her mentor pretty much brainwashed her to not only not be sexual, but to forcibly fight off anyone who tried. Now that she's quit her job and gotten married, well... things are awkward when it comes to deprogramming.
* This trope causes a lot of {{UST}} in ''[[Literature/DoraWilkSeries Soul Thief]]'', as Dora - who has some lovers-related trust issues - doesn't want to change her relationship with Miron from friendship to something more intimate. They end up together at the end of the [[spoiler: book three]], though, subverting this trope.
* A RareMaleExample is found in Cate Tiernan's ''{{Sweep}}'' series, where Hunter decides not to sleep with his girlfriend Morgan (who is naked and in his bed) because he's about to leave on a long trip and didn't want their first sexual encounter to resemble anything that might be construed as him "loving and leaving" her.
* Frollo in ''Literature/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame''.
* Nearly half a chapter in ''[[SwordOfTruth Wizard's First Rule]]'' is about Kahlan deciding she should sleep with Richard despite the fact it would destroy his mind, with her inner monologue going through rationalizations such as maybe he'll be more devoted to his quest if it does happen. She actually tries, with him stopping her at the last moment--by this point he's worked out there's ''something'' dangerous about her, but he's not sure what. She still hates herself for trying.
* Inverted in ''The Last Dragonlord'', where Linden, a man who can turn into a dragon, finds his soulmate. Unfortunately, if he gives into his urges and has sex with her, he might ''kill'' her.
* It's mentioned in ''Literature/SplinterOfTheMindsEye'', which came out years before Film/ReturnOfTheJedi. There are many instances in this book and MarvelStarWars where [[IncestSubtext Luke and Leia]] very nearly have a RelationshipUpgrade and then decline or are interrupted, then drop the idea for a while, not sure why they're reluctant. But it always comes back.
--> The Princess grew aware of how tightly she was clinging to him. Their proximity engendered a wash of confused emotion. It would be proper to disengage, to move away a little. Proper, but not nearly so satisfying.
** In ''ShadowsOfTheEmpire'', Prince Xizor's [[LoveIsInTheAir creepy date-rape pheromones]] work by amplifying this trope.
---> It did not matter what a woman's stance was on fidelity, that she had been a faithful partner to another for years or decades. Falleen pheromones were more potent than the strongest spice. Leia might want to resist him with her mind, but her body would ache for him. There was no antidote save one.
---> Xizor smiled. He would enjoy administering the single antidote to Leia. He would enjoy it very much indeed...
*** However, her HeroicResolve and righteous anger, once she realizes that he's been influencing her, completely dispel even this trope and breaks his power over her. Xizor is disbelieving. [[GroinAttack And in a lot of pain.]]
* When Jerin meets the Princess Rennsaeler in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice'' she promptly starts EatingTheEyeCandy and seducing him. After fretting a bit he is happy to go along and put those woman-pleasing techniques he's gone over in erotic dreams to the test - it seems they work quite well - he finally says no so he can stay a TechnicalVirgin. He really wants to keep going, but it would ruin him.
* Basically, the whole point of ''{{Literature/Twilight}}''. In the words of RogerEbert, "We all know there is no such thing as a vampire. Come on now, what is ''Twilight'' really about? It's about a teenage boy trying to practice abstinence, and how, in the heat of the moment, it's really, really hard. And about a girl who wants to go all the way with him, and doesn't care what might happen.”
* This is the main source of the drama in the Hadassah/Marcus romance arc of Francine Rivers’ ''[[Literature/TheMarkOfTheLion A Voice in the Wind]]''.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Live Action TV ]]

* {{Trope Namer|s}} is Kerry of ''Series/EightSimpleRules'', who is visited by the boy she had a fling with [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench while in France]].
* An episode of ''Series/JustShootMe'' does this with Nina, who takes Elliot's advice and abstains from sex for a while. [[ContrivedCoincidence Of course]], she's then visited by a former lover. In the end, she manages to restrain herself - if just barely.
* ''Series/That70sShow'' does this to Jackie, in response to Kelso growing a beard. Donna has to remind her that he cheated on her, lest she "throw herself at him."
* Capt. Picard and Dr. Crusher in the ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' episode "The Naked Now".
* ''LegendOfTheSeeker'' has this with Richard and Kahlan.
* A [[GenderInvertedTrope Rare Male Example]] in ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}'', with Echo trying to convince Paul they should have sex.
* ''Series/GarrowsLaw'' has a mutual version of this with Garrow and Lady Sarah.
* In the ''Series/{{Friends}}'' episode "The One With the Memorial Service", after Phoebe broke up with Mike because he said he never wants to get married, she asked Monica to keep her away from him. In the end of the episode, it turns out that Mike also asked a friend to do the same.
* In ''Series/TheGoodWife'', Alicia in regards to Will. Although, she's married, so she resists the urge to hit that. [[spoiler: However, they finally hook up in the season 2 finale after Alicia separates with Peter.]]
* Another male example: In ''Series/DowntonAbbey'', Lord Grantham in regards to Jane Moorsum in Series 2. He is sorely tempted, but in the end he cannot bring himself to do it. (He does, however, [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections pull strings]] so Jane's son can go to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ripon_Grammar_School Ripon Grammar School]], and pays for his expenses).
* Male example in one episode of ''Series/{{Taxi}}'', Elaine is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and starts to come on to Alex as a way of compensating. Seeing as she's obviously very vulnerable, he turns her away. Later, after she has spoken to a therapist, Alex says he's glad they "stopped before we did something we both would have... fondly remembered for the rest of our lives." (Cue laughter from Elaine.)
* ''Series/{{Castle}}'' falls on the "does" side of this trope in regards to his second ex-wife. He describes her as being like a deep-fried Twinkie; you know it's bad for you, so you only have it once or twice a year. Not that he seems to put up much of a fight whenever she comes around.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]
* In the first series of ''Radio/BleakExpectations'', Mr. Benevolent tries to propose Pippa Bin, who initially refuses his advances. Then her brother states that his designs would leave her "tainted and sullied". Suddenly Pippa becomes much more receptive to the idea...
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games ]]

* The [[UpdatedRerelease remake]] of ''{{Persona 3}}'' gives us a RareMaleExample of Shinjiro Aragaki. Maxing out his [[LevelUpAtIntimacy5 Social Link]] with the female protagonist leads him to fall in love with her, but he stubbornly resists admitting it because he knows that, with three different death threats hanging over him, he doesn't have long to live and [[ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies starting a romance would]] [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy only cause her pain later]]. It's only in the face of repeated persistence from the protagonist that he finally gives in to his feelings. [[spoiler: It still doesn't end well, although he does end up [[ConvenientComa comatose]] rather than dead. And he ''does'' wake up on the last day... just in time to see ''her'' die. Yeah, it kind of [[StoicWoobie sucks to be Shinjiro]].]]
* Since Tali is romanceable in ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', she has concerns about sleeping with Shepard (because her species have, basically, no immune systems). But she really would -- oh, you get it. In the end, she takes a bunch of herbal supplements, still gets a cold, and admits that it was [[WorthIt totally worth it]]. By the third game, she's built up an immunity and this no longer applies.
** Not only do they have a shitty immune system, but their amino acids are subject to MirrorChemistry. As Mordin puts it (though for a different pairing which has the same amino acid problem), "Don't ingest."
** Garrus has the same basic reaction to the prospect of being with Shepard. He has no idea how the sex part of a romantic relationship would work between their species, and expresses quite a bit of hesitance due to nervousness about the prospect, but is ultimately all for it. Assuming they can figure out how to work out the particulars. It worth noting that turians, Garrus' race, are the ''other'' species in the galaxy whose biological makeup is based on dextro-amino acids. This pairing is the recipient of the above-mentioned "don't ingest" advice.
** Amusingly, all of the inter-species angst plots are resolved by Mordin suggesting some meds and giving Shepard a manual of compatible positions.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Comics ]]

* In a ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'' strip, Faye wakes up horny and considers calling Sven for... services. In the end, she decides against it. The idea lingers until Dora buys her a vibrator.
* Their conflicting desires and constant invoking of this trope nearly lead Candi and Donte in the ''Webcomic/CiemWebcomicSeries'' to schizophrenic levels of indecisiveness, before both of them decide to [[UnresolvedSexualTension simply get it over with]]. [[DefiledForever They feel like dirt for it]], but at least they know their limits.
** Also one reason Candi agrees to marry Denny in spite the war going on all around them. She gets bored with taking most of her clothes off, only for them to "stop at third."
* ''Webcomic/OutThere'': Miriam has this dilemma [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20060707.html all]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20080830.html the]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20090128.html damn]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20090228.html time]]. [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20090417.html ALL]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20090516.html the]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20090828.html damn]] [[http://outthere.keenspot.com/d/20100405.html time]].
* Used in ''Webcomic/TreadingGround'' at the start of the JailBaitWait.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Web Original ]]

* ''DeptHeavenApocrypha'' has Fia's demon. He and Meria CantHaveSexEver because Fia--whose body he's using to carry out his side of their relationship--is straight and can barely tolerate them kissing. Would he do more if he could? Probably, but given the circumstances...

[[/folder]]
----