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[[quoteright:309:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Sex_vs__This_9594.png]]
[[caption-width-right:309:I don't know exactly what "this" is... but I know I want it!]]

->''"Take the best orgasm you've ever had, multiply it by a thousand, and you're still nowhere near it."''
-->-- '''Renton''' (on shooting heroin), ''{{Trainspotting}}''

A StockPhrase where a character [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin compares an activity or sensation to the act of lovemaking and claims that it is better]].

Often, it is used to either describe something pleasing or enjoyable in hyperbole or, more tragically, used to reflect the attitudes of people with immense cravings or addictions for particular things (especially drugs). Though, on occasion, it may also be a sign that the person using the phrase hasn't had a very enjoyable sex life.

Compare: JustLikeMakingLove, GeekyTurnOn, {{Nerdgasm}}, WhyDontYouMarryIt

[[IThoughtItMeant Not to be confused with]] the essay collection by Creator/HunterSThompson.

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!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Advertising]]
* A Taco Cabana radio ad claims that "Taco Cabana has the best Tex-Mex. Everybody says it's better than... [[SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion pizza]]," explaining that they couldn't mention sex on the radio and, besides, [[SexSells there's too much sex in advertising]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Anime And Manga]]
* Played by the merging in ''{{Aquarion}}'', where the pilots trying to describe the feeling of [[DeusSexMachina merging the ships]] as "the best feeling ever", and even seem to act as if the action itself is a form of sex.
* In ''BlackBloodBrothers'', sex apparently pales in comparison to the sensation of [[KissOfTheVampire getting bit by a vampire]].
* In ''Manga/BlackLagoon'', Revy remarks that Balalaika is one of those people who prefers war to sex.
* In ''StarDriver'', Madoka Kei explicitly compares Cybody combat to sex, saying that it is far more [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence stimulating and intimate]] than intercourse could ever be. This, however, is just her opinion: the rest of the Glittering Crux considers her something of a psychopath for this attitude.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comedy]]
* In one of his stand-up routines, Dane Cook insists that [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys having a pet monkey]] would be better than sex--or, even better, being part of a heist with the monkey driving the van.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Comics]]
* In one ''Comicbook/BirdsOfPrey'' issue, the supervillainess Knockout calls fighting "better than sex and almost as brutal" before a fight with Big Barda.
* In ''ComicBook/{{Empire}}'', users of a highly addictive SuperSerum called "Eucharist" describe the drug high as better than sex.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* A variant comes up in ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality''.
-->Before she'd met Harry Potter she hadn't had anyone she'd wanted to crush. If someone wasn't doing as well as her in class, it was her job to help them, not rub it in. That was what it meant to be Good.\\
And now...\\
...now she was ''winning'', Harry Potter was flinching every time she got another House point, and it was so ''much'' fun, her parents had warned her against drugs and she suspected this was ''more fun'' than that.
* In ''FanFic/TheStalkingZukoSeries'' after eating the expensive and rare dragonberries, Suki declares them better than sex which causes her boyfriend Sokka to greatly worry.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film]]
* Several of the heroin junkies in ''Literature/{{Trainspotting}}'' praise their drug of choice as being better than sex. Significantly, such comparisons are what lead Tommy to take up the habit after his girlfriend dumps him, with devastating consequences and mockingly [[CallBack called back]] by a drug-decayed Tommy in Renton's nightmare.
* In ''SisterAct'', after two of the singing nuns refer to singing as being better than more innocent things such as "springtime" and "ice cream," the "heathen" FishOutOfWater Dolores proclaims that singing is "[[TheTriple better than sex]]," adding that it's [[OrSoIHeard what she has heard]] after a comedic {{Beat}}.
* In the ''Film/WingCommander'' movie, after Rosie performs a dangerous but impressive maneuver in her starfighter while landing, she claims that pulling it off felt better than sex. When Angel quite ''literally'' calls, "bullshit," Rosie amends, "Better than sex with myself."
* In ''Film/WallStreet'', Gordon Gekko relates that when he made an $800,000 profit on his first business real-estate purchase, he thought making all that money was "better than sex," but years later, he only sees it as a day's pay.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In ''{{Everworld}}'', [[HotWitch Senna]] gets DrunkOnTheDarkSide at one point, declaring it to be like sex, money, power, revenge, and triumph all at once.
* In ''Discworld/TheLightFantastic'', Rincewind accidentally casts some real magic and suddenly discovers why wizards don't care that much about being celibate.
* HunterSThompson named one of his books of political essays after this trope.
* In the ''Literature/TheHouseOfNight'' series, drinking blood from a human or other vampyre that one is imprinted with is described as being better than sex.
* In the ''{{Nightside}}'' book ''Nightingale's Lament'', Rossignol says that chocolate is better than sex, then reconsiders and amends this to "some sex".
* In ''Literature/{{Galapagos}}'', Colonel Reyes launches a missile from his aircraft and tells his friend that the experience felt better than sexual intercourse.
* Joachim Steuben of ''Literature/HammersSlammers'' really, really [[BloodKnight likes killing]] and considers sex a "distant second" to violence.
* Literature/StephaniePlum prefers [[IWasToldThereWouldBeCake cake]] to sex. Always. Even though she has two rather competent lovers in her life, her number one passion is still cake.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* In ''Series/TheXFiles'' episode "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'", when a Lt. Jack Schaefer is speaking to Agent Mulder, he says, "Have you ever flown a flying saucer? Afterwards, sex seems trite."
* On ''DawsonsCreek'', Audrey once says that the one thing she misses the most about having a boyfriend is snuggling, which is, in her view, better than sex.
* On ''TrueBlood'', Amy once described the high on [[FantasticDrug the illicit drug made from vampire blood]], V, as being better than sex.
* On ''{{Coupling}}'', Jeff once says this about writing the word "naked" hundreds of times on a sheet of paper and rubbing his face in it, something he apparently used to do as a kid.
* In Dean Learner's interview with ex-Formula Five motor racer Steve Pising on ''ManToManWithDeanLearner'', Steve refers to the speed of a Formula Five car as being better than sex... or, at least, better than any sex that ''he's'' ever had.
* In the first episode of ''{{Sliders}}'', Wade claimed that sliding is better than sex.
--> '''Arturo:''' Well, I wouldn't go ''that'' far...
* ''Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|Reimagined}}'':
-->'''Kat:''' When you come back after a successful run, let me tell you. It is better than a great meal. Better than hitting a jackpot. [[TheTriple It's better than sex]].
* On the UK version of ''Series/TheApprentice'', Series 5 contestant Ben considered making money better than sex.
* In ''MysteryScienceTheater3000'''s riffing of ''TheSkydivers'', Crow uses this phrase to mock the movie's [[MustHaveCaffeine fixation with coffee]], as well as the lack of chemistry between the two lead characters.
--->'''Beth:''' I made some coffee.
--->'''Crow:''' Coffee? Thanks, that's better than sex.
* In ''Series/AlienNation'' Sikes describes his car as better than sex, then sees the look on his alien neighbor's face and hurriedly explains the existence of this stock phrase as a metaphor and not to be taken literally. Parodied moments later as the car breaks down.
* In ''Series/RedDwarf'', when Rimmer [[spoiler: copies himself and moves in with his new double]], he describes his new life of discipline as "better than sex". Of course, he's soon proven wrong when it turns out [[spoiler: even his double doesn't like him]]. (Of course, Rimmer's sex life consisted of twelve minutes [including eating the pizza] with the ship's concussed female boxing champion, who kept calling him Norman, so he's not exactly in a position to judge.)
* ''[[Series/{{MASH}} M*A*S*H]]'', in the episode "Adam's Ribs", Hawkeye tries to get a case of barbecued pork ribs from a Chicago restaurant shipped to Korea. When Radar asks if these ribs are as good as Hawkeye says they are, Hawkeye answers, "Better than sex." Radar then grouses, "[[NerdsAreVirgins I wouldn't know how good that is, sir.]]"
* In a Season One episode of ''GilmoreGirls,'' Miss Patty tells Rory that the peaches in Doose's Market are "better than sex."
* On ''GossipGirl'', Blair describes a take-down as better than sex. And then immediately has sex with Chuck for comparison purposes...
* From the first episode of season seven of CanadasWorstDriver:
-->Jon: This is better than sex.
-->Elise (his girlfriend): I agree.
-->[{{Beat}}]
-->Jon: Hey!
* ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'': At one point, a [[ItMakesSenseInContext woman with the transplanted heart of an ancient Mayan sports player that eats hearts]] has Dean pinned down and explains how eating hearts feels better than sex.
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'': In "Favor the Bold," the Female Changeling tells Odo that sex pales in comparison to linking (the act of two or more Changelings melding together). Given that she and Odo have experimented with both together, she means this literally.
** Possibly justified in that for Changelings, the merger is complete and literal, whereas we "solids" think of our mating practices as only a partial and figurative merging of bodies. One can see how the shape-shifters might view this as little more than IKEAErotica: "So they stick this part into that part? Big deal; we can have as many or as few of those parts as we want!"
** Also, Odo later did some kind of physical act of love with Kira that involved turning himself into a bright glowing cloud of golden mist and enveloping her; probably not quite the same thing as sex, but from the ecstatic look on her face during this sequence, she wasn't complaining.
* ''Series/DuckDynasty'': According to Phil Robertson, if he had a choice between sex and boudin, he'd take the boudin.
* On ''Series/{{Taxi}}'' the gang accompany Alex on a skydiving lesson. The attractive female instructor says that jumping is better than sex, and Bobby hits on her by correcting "Better than '''most''' sex."
* At the conclusion of the "Racing Gravity" segment of the ''Series/{{Mythbusters}}'' "Demolition Derby" special - during which the Build Team dropped a car from 4,000 feet to find out if a remote-controlled car on the ground could beat it to the mark - Kari Byron claimed she was less excited after her first kiss.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]
* Estonian rock band Smilers wrote and recorded a song with the title translated as "Football [Soccer] Is Better Than Sex", released on an album with the same name.
* Music/LouReed's "Kicks" uses this trope to extol the virtues of cutting people up with a switchblade.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]
* The [[http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/better-than-sex-cake-ii Better Than Sex Cake]] (There is apparently more than one recipe, too).
* [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin The Ice Cream Store]], located in Rehoboth, Delaware, has a flavor called "Better Than Sex."
* According to legend Bobby Fischer visited a prostitute once and then claimed that chess was more fun.
* One American fighter pilot claimed that combat was almost as much fun.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Print Media]]
* There used to a [[BritishFootyTeams Sunderland A.F.C.]] (a British [[TheBeautifulGame Football / Soccer Club)]]) fanzine titled ''[[http://www.a-love-supreme.com/S&C%20archive.htm Sex & Chocolate Aren't as Good as Football]]''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Religion]]
* While possibly suggesting HoYay in a book that frowns upon such, Literature/TheBible does have David saying that his relationship with Jonathan surpasses that of the love of women.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* The parodic RPG ''kill puppies for satan'' describes the feeling a [[OurGhoulsAreCreepier ghoul]] has after feeding on a corpse as "about as good as pretty good sex, which is way better than your average ghoul has ever had".
* ''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade''. A vampire explains what it's like drinking blood:
--> "Imagine drinking the finest champagne and the sensation of the most sensual lovemaking you've ever experienced. Overlay that with the rush the opium fiend feels as he takes that first breath on the pipe, and you begin to have some sense, some tiny, infinitesimal sense of what it feels like to drink the blood of...a living human being."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* In ''Theatre/LegallyBlonde: TheMusical'', Elle sings a musical number titled "So Much Better". In one verse, she tells Warner that getting the coveted legal internship feels better than the best sex they ever had.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* Jack from ''VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines'' describes drinking blood as better than having sex and taking drugs, although [[TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade in that world]] vampires can't do the first (unless they are ''really'' weak vampires) and require roundabout methods for the second (they have to drink the blood of someone ''on'' the drug, which requires feeding).
* In ''VideoGame/SengokuRance'', Rance gets more satisfaction from finding rare shells than normal sex. This is an extremely unusual example since Rance is a LovableSexManiac and a HaremSeeker.
* KingdomOfLoathing parodies the above-mentioned Better than Sex cake with the "Better than ''Cuddling'' Cake".
* ''KatawaShoujo'': While discussing the "Runner's High" with Hisao after a workout, Emi calls it "better than sex", leaving Hisao quite flustered. Considering she turns out to be a LovableSexManiac herself, she was almost certainly saying it just to make him squirm.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* According to Jodie from ''Webcomic/{{Loserz}}'', ''[[Film/{{Spider-Man}} Spider-Man 2]]'' [[http://the-qlc.com/loserz/go/246 is even better than the best sex she had.]]
* Cyndi from ''PennyAndAggie'' says this phrase in reference to hurting other people.
* In ''Webcomic/{{Zodiac}}'', Hell Hound finds burning someone to death "better than any drug or sexual act."
* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', [[TokenEvilTeammate Belkar]] describes a certain [[{{Dune}} Spice]] thusly;
-->'''Belkar:''' It's like you [[InsubstantialIngredients crystallized the best sex you've ever had with a woman]] and put it in a tiny bottle on your spice rack. No, wait, it's like you took that spice and snorted it while screwing her hotter sister. In front of her.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' brings us ''[[http://www.homestarrunner.com/amazon.html This Book is Better Than 1st, 2nd, and Quite Possibly Even 3rd Base]]'' from the [[FourthWallMailSlot Strong Bad Email]] "[[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail17.html studying]]."
* In [[Website/YouTube YouTuber]] [[http://www.youtube.com/jacksfilms Jacksfilms's]] [[VinceOffer ShamWow]] infomercial parody, a lady [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsTLUSMOgas#t=1m2s in a testimonial]] says this.
* The [[{{Spill}} Spill.com]] team, who post animated movie reviews, has movie ratings system that ranges from "Some Ole Bulls**t!" (the lowest) right up to "Better Than Sex" (the best).
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* On ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', when Stewie grows a strong fondness for Flappy Jack's pancakes in the episode "Love Thy Trophy", he at one point insists that the pancakes are better than sex, insinuating a growing addiction to the pancakes that ends with him going through withdrawal by the end of the episode in a send-up of a scene from ''Literature/{{Trainspotting}}''.
** And while taunting a dieting Chris with the meatloaf:
-->'''Stewie''': It's too bad you can't have any. It's practically orgasmic. [takes a bite] [-OH YES! YES! OH! OH! YES! YES!-]
-->'''Brian''': [[Film/WhenHarryMetSally I'll have what he's having.]]
* On ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', a magazine for nerds titled "Wizards and Shut-Ins" is shown running the story "500 Reasons Why ''Film/{{Krull}}'' is Better Than Sex."
* In a ''RobotChicken'' sketch mixing ''Series/SesameStreet'' with ''Film/WallStreet'', Kermit the Frog's cousin Gordon the Gecko describes greed as this.
-->'''Gordon:''' See this building behind me? First place I ever bought! Flipped it and made $800,000! It was better than ''sex!''
* On ''{{Futurama}},'' when [[IdiotHero Fry]] first tastes [[IAteWhat popplers]]:
-->"They're like sex, except [[HollywoodDateless I'm having them]]!"
[[/folder]]
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