[[quoteright:246:[[Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/allthegoodmenaregay_8725.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:246:Okay, sometimes it's a little bit more complicated.]]
A woman looking for Mr. Right eventually finds a great guy with all the right things she's looking for - but it turns out he's homosexual, leading to the dismissive statement about straight men. This is loaded with the [[UnfortunateImplications Unfortunate Implication]] that only (and all) gay men possess the qualities women want--tenderness, consideration, etc.--while heterosexual men are pretty much primitive cavemen or [[AllMenArePerverts perverted]] {{Jerkass}}es who don't know how to act in public and treat other people.

Ironically, there is no shortage of gay men saying the reverse: that all the good men are taken or ''straight'', admiring the stereotypical positive traits of straight men (masculine mannerisms, straightforward with emotions, laid back attitude, etc.). There's some TruthInTelevision here though; given [[HumansAreFlawed human nature]], [[HappilyMarried healthy relationships]] are a [[http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/seller%27s+market seller's market]] - the most desired goods are either "previously purchased" or otherwise "unavailable for sale" -- on ''both'' sides. Not to mention people's tendancy to make sly, humorous negative observations along the lines of MurphysLaw. ("All the good men are gay… isn't that just my luck.")

Compare to IncompatibleOrientation, where she may still love him despite his orientation. Also compare SorryImGay where he may actually be straight and still trying to ward off her advances. The FagHag is this trope turned UpToEleven and happens if the woman in question eventually gives up on straight men and prefers the company of gay men, even though she knows she will never get any of them. This may be the attitude the LastHetRomance of a gay man takes after he outs himself.
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!!Examples

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[[folder:Advertisement]]
* Happens in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IrXIPibnbY this]] ad by an insurance company; not only the good men, but all men in the world are gay.
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[[folder:Film]]
* In the movie of ''Literature/{{PS I Love You}}'', Lisa Kudrow's character repeatedly asks out guys by asking them first if they are single, then asking if they're gay.
* Happens -- oh so much -- in ''Love and Other Disasters''.
* ''Film/ZackAndMiriMakeAPorno'' -- Miri's high school crush returns to their small town for a high school reunion. Well ... he brought his boyfriend. And they're both porn stars.
* In a rare gender swap of this, the main character of ''Film/ChasingAmy'' finally finds the perfect girl for himself: she's smart, funny, attractive, witty, creative, and talented. But she's a lesbian.
* Played for laughs in ''Film/InAndOut'', where after Emily (played by Joan Cusack) finds out [[spoiler:her fiancee is actually gay]], she hits on another man, who also is gay. The result is a bit of a HeroicBSOD and the Crowning Moment of Funny in the movie.
* In ''Film/{{Clueless}}'', the female main character falls for an attractive male classmate. The way that she fails to notice that he's {{gay|BestFriend}}, when most of the audience and their school friends will have spotted the fact within minutes if not seconds, is a big sign that she's not quite as smart as she thinks.
* Comes up in the ''Literature/AlexRider'' movie -- [[TomboyishName Jack]], the American housekeeper, mentions that "the problem with this country is that all the good-looking men are either gay or married."
* Happens in many a LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek film. Being gay is pretty much the only way a human male can appear in one of these and not be depicted as a horrible monster, in fact.
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[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* A riff in the ''Jack Frost'' episode of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'':
-->Every time I meet a man, he's either gay or a bear.
** Also used almost unchanged in ''DevilFish'':
--->"Every time I met a man, he's either married, gay, or getting eaten by a giant octopus."
** And given a CallBack in the Podcast/RiffTrax of ''Film/BatmanForever''.
--->"Every time I meet a guy, he's either gay or Batman...[[HoYay sometimes both!"]]
* ''{{Frasier}}'' episode "Out With Dad". [[SorryImGay Martin pretends to be gay, to fend off the advances of an older woman.]] When asked by her daughter, she sighs, "Opera queen" in a tone that clearly states they're quite common. Subverted when Martin's gay act makes him a perfect target for the daughter's uncle.
** It must be noted that Martin only goes along with her when she assumes he's gay when he stumbles over why he can't date her.
* ''Series/DoctorWho'', 'The Unicorn and the Wasp' gives us this exchange, after Donna notices some 1920s-style HoYay.
-->'''Donna:''' 'All the decent men are on the other bus.'\\
'''The Tenth Doctor:''' 'Or Time Lords.'
* In one episode of ''TheWarAtHome'', Kenny complimented on Hillary, Larry's sister and eventually spent a lot of time with her. Hillary proposed Kenny to be her boyfriend by kissing him, but Kenny avoid himself from the kiss because he's got a crush on Larry (hence he's gay). But then he's FlyingUnderTheGaydar, so he had to lie that he doesn't want to be her boyfriend because he wants to treat her [[LikeBrotherAndSister like a sister]].
* On ''{{Series/Eureka}}'', after discovering that her NewOldFlame is actually a RidiculouslyHumanRobot, Jo complains that all the good ones are "either married, gay, or robots".
* Subverted by the ''ModernFamily'' third-season episode "Treehouse". After inverting SorryImGay when Cameron wins a bet with Mitchell and their likewise-gay friend Longinus by getting a woman at the bar to give him her phone number (funnier still when you keep in mind that Eric Stonestreet is straight in real life), Cameron winds up getting close enough to her to not want to let her know until Mitchell shames him into doing it. But when he does, after hiding any evidence of Mitchell or Lily from their apartment before she comes over, [[spoiler:it turns out that she knew all along; [[PetHomosexual she just wanted to have a gay male friend because it would be cool]]. He then rebukes her for viewing him through a tropish lens (perhaps angry that his portrayal didn't fool her)]], and then just as Mitchell returns the episode subverts its own subversion: [[CrowningMomentOfFunny she makes the angry, hurt speech you'd expect if the show had simply played the trope (ahem) straight]].
* ''Series/ThirtyRock'':
-->'''Liz:''' What did I tell you?\\
'''Jenna:''' Not to freak out.\\
'''Liz:''' Right, and what else?\\
'''Jenna:''' Stop falling in love with gay guys.\\
'''Liz:''' About ''this''.
* The TV series ''HappilyDivorced'' explores this trope. Based on Creator/FranDrescher's real life, the character had been married 18 years to a very nice man, but he realized he was gay. They remained good friends and still lived in the same house even after the divorce.
* In ''Series/GameOfThrones'', Sansa has had a crush on [[AgentPeacock Loras Tyrell]] since the first season, and in the third finds some of the little happiness she's had lately when she finds out she might be able to marry him. She's completely ignorant of his real sexuality [[spoiler:and the marriage gets called off before it can happen]]. Similarly Brienne of Tarth is in love with Renly Baratheon, the lover of the aforementioned Loras, since he's [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe one of the few men who's ever been nice to her]] and is similarly ignorant of his orientation.
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[[folder:Music]]
* Described in the spoof country song, "All the Men I've Loved are Either Married, Gay or Dead".
** Of course, in the song, not ''all'' the good men are gay. The rest [[CaptainObvious die post-coitus or turn out to be married]].
** There's also [[http://www.jenrathbun.com/MarriedBuriedOrGay_Song.html this song - "Married, Buried or Gay"]].
* The Weezer song "Pink Triangle" is about a man who finds his dream woman, only to discover that she's a lesbian.
* The Robbie Williams song "Supreme" includes the line "And all the best women are married, and all the handsome men are gay."
* At the end of the music video for Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe", the hot guy she's been singing about writes "call me maybe" to one of her male bandmates.
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[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}'', Mike's secretary Marcia Feinbloom set out to prove to Mike that all the good men were either married or gay. She called out to a good-looking jogger, asking if he were married or gay, and he answered, "Both." [[note]]This strip was published in the 1980s, before same-sex marriage had gathered legal force, so he was married to a woman.[[/note]] She then turned to Mike and said, "See? It's getting worse!"
* In ''ComicStrip/NonSequitur'', Danae and Lucy pretend to be grown women at a bar. Danae denounces the character of all men and dismisses Lucy's immediate counterexample as gay. (Which [[UnfortunateImplications implies that gays aren't actual men]].)
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[[folder:Theater]]
* In the one-act play ''This Phone Will Explode At The Tone'', the following exchange occurs:
-->'''Woman 2:''' All the guys who aren't scum are married, or gay, or -\\
'''Woman 1:''' Becoming priests.
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[[folder:Video Games]]
* [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation Whether]] [[VideoGame/StarFox Falco Lombardi]] is this with [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend Katt Monroe]] (or [[LGBTFanbase whether]] he's [[HetIsEw gay at all]]) has ignited many an InternetBackdraft.
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[[folder:Webcomics]]
* This is Eglante's reaction to learning that Galehaut is gay in the contemporary ''ArthurKingOfTimeAndSpace''. (In the baseline arc, Eglante and Galehaut are in a relationship, although she does sometimes wonder about his knightly devotion to Lancelot. In the space arc, Eglante and Galehaut are in a relationship, and it's not clear if she knows he's also attracted to Lancelot or not.)
* Susan's introduction to Justin's gayness in ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''.
** Notable for her having just told her mother [[AccidentalTruth that Justin was gay so he could stay the night]].
** Later, after Justin becomes popular around school for beating up a fire monster, it comes up again.
--->'''Girl 1:''' I can't believe he's ''gay!'' [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat Not that there's anything wrong with that]]. I'm just upset that I can't ask him out.\\
'''Girl 2:''' Don't you already have a boyfriend?\\
'''Girl 1:''' Of course I do. [[RightBehindMe He's right here]].\\
'''Boyfriend:''' I am less than happy right now.
* Played with in ''[[http://artblock-go.smackjeeves.com/ Girls Only]]'', where at a school with over 400 girls and 32 men, they only ''think'' that the men are all gay. It turns out, they're actually straight, they just like to pretend so that the fanservice they deal out allows them to be given better treatment.
* Fletcher of ''NothingNiceToSay'' actively attacks this trope in one strip, when a woman at a bar utters it practically word for word. His response? "You mean, why are the only guys you find non-threatening the ones with no possible ulterior motives to sleep with you? Yeah, the mind boggles." Fletcher is, perhaps rather obviously, far from the best example to the contrary of this trope...
* Played with in ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}''. Amber's mom comes to visit, and is initially unimpressed with her boyfriend [[{{Jerkass}} Mike]]. She would rather her daughter pursue her gay friend Ethan ("I hear they can [[CureYourGays fix these people in camps]]"). When one of Amber's other co-workers runs past screaming in terror because two beautiful women want to have sex with him[[note]]ItMakesSenseInContext - he's a recovering sex addict[[/note]], Amber's mom asks if there are ''any'' straight people in this town. Amber says it's just her and Mike, to which her mom replies "No wonder."
* Amber occasionally invokes this trope in ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns'', usually when she's complaining about [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan her dating problems]] in the presence of the CampGay Dillon, if only to flatter him.
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[[folder:Web Original]]
* In ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'' Tea laments that "every time I meet a guy, he's either gay or a villain in disguise!"
** Of course, most of them are both.
** Serenity mentions this at the end of her FAQ mini-episode. She thinks Bakura sounds like a jerk, but [[EvilBrit his accent is hot]] - unfortunately, he already has dinner plans with Marik.
* See the {{Facebook}} group "[[http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Nice-guys-are-ugly-hot-guys-are-jerks-and-hot-nice-guys-are-gay/181052309989 Nice Guys Are Ugly, Hot Guys Are Jerks, and Hot Nice Guys Are Gay]]."
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[[folder:Western Animation]]
* Happens twice on ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
** The gang is at a club, and Bender's built in gaydar shoots down the girls' hopes when they see good looking men. ...Or he's getting interference from a gay weather balloon.
** A GymBunny comes along and tries to wrest Leela away from Fry, but when Fry just gives up because he reckons it's already half-hopeless between him and Leela anyway, the other guy reveals he's a professional beach bully; a guy like Fry ponies up a couple hundred bucks, the muscular guy comes along and starts hitting on the nerd's girlfriend, then backs down when the nerd stands up to him in a staged fight, and the bully leaves with the girlfriend duly impressed. Leela decides she really does prefer the bully, and guess what: [[SorryImGay He's gay]].
* A lampshading occurs at one point in ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' when the recently-widowed Ned Flanders begins dating again, and his date comments that she's so glad that he's the way he is and ''not'' gay.
** Another one had a waitress lament that "All the good men are either gay or have no face!" ItMakesSenseInContext. (Granted, she was saying this about a paroled criminal and Sideshow Bob, so she's not exactly the best judge of character).
* Inverted in ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic''. '''''Everyone''''' assumes Jay is gay, despite his insistence he's not. Love interest Alice tells her ex-husband (who is hitting on her) that Jay is not gay, then sings to Jay later:
-->'''Alice:''' ''(singing)'' Jay, I'm glad you're not gay. / I may show you why someday. ''(kisses Jay)''\\
'''Jay:''' Yay!
* In ''KingOfTheHill'', one episode had Bill and Luanne working at a trendy hair salon for women, but no one will go near Bill because the thought of a straight man working their hair disgusts them. They think Bill is "a sleazy barber". To get more clients, Bill and Luanne try emulating the popular CampGay stylist on staff. All of Bill's female clients, including the staff, tell Bill how sad it is that he's gay because they would love to have a boyfriend like him. When Bill finally reveals he's straight, the women go back to being disgusted.
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[[folder:Real Life]]
* As a matter of cultural opinion, [[UsefulNotes/{{Japan}} Japanese]] women have the lowest average opinion of the romantic ability of their own country's male population, compared to women from any other country who have rated their own men. Japan is also a country where women (of all ages and social backgrounds) are far more likely to be fans of the BoysLove, and these relationships are usually portrayed with far more frank romance than Japanese straight relationships. So, as a female Japanese culture-wide attitude, [[AllTheGoodMenAreGay All The Good Men]] ''[[AllTheGoodMenAreGay Are]]'' [[AllTheGoodMenAreGay Gay]]. [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench Or are from Korean soap operas]].
* The feeling found in many a poor woman/girl when they find out their celebrity crush is gay. Unless they're a YaoiFangirl.
* Of course, many gay men [[IncompatibleOrientation only wish this were true]].
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