[[quoteright:286:[[Webcomic/BasicInstructions http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/miliscorns_7933.gif]]]]

A system of measurement for something that doesn't seem like it could be measured in discrete units in the first place. Almost always used for humor. BrokeTheRatingScale may invoke this when it gets silly. This is presumably how you tell if something is TwentyPerCentMoreAwesome.

Compare HiroshimaAsAUnitOfMeasure, which is when someone measures a quantifiable thing in a strange way.
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!!Examples:

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[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Anime/DragonBallZ'': "Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his {{power level}}?" [[MemeticMutation "It's over nine thousaaaaaand!!!"]]
** It would be one thing if the scouter was simply quantifying stored energy, but it seems to be able to quantify fighting effectiveness as evidenced by Goku's and Picolo's power levels registering higher after they take off their weighted clothing.
** At one point, one villain tells another to take off their scouter, since the Z-Fighters can change their power levels pretty much at will.
*** The Power Levels are deliberately useless; Word of God was that it was intended to show that one can't use cold calculation to predict how a fight would go, and to show the inherent flaw in basing assumptions on only raw power while ignoring skill and determination.
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[[folder:Film]]
* At the end of the first ''Film/MenInBlack'' movie, J quantifies the battle with the Bug as ranking 9.5 on the "Weird-Shit-O-Meter".
* Parodied in ''Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice'', where it is noted that an upcoming terrorist event, if it completes, would be "Nine Eleven times a hundred" - as is pointed out, that's 91,100 ("basically all the worst parts of the Bible"). Another is "Nine Eleven times a thousand" - 911,000. Kim Jong-Il described his ultimate plan, which involves simultaneous terrorist attacks with weapons of mass destruction across the world as "Nine Eleven times 2356," which nobody knows [[note]]It's 2,146,316[[/note]].
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[[folder:Literature]]
* Beauty has been measured in [=milliHelens=] (the amount of beauty needed to [[TheTrojanWar launch a single ship]]) in ''Literature/TheRebelAngels'', a novel by Robertson Davies. This system was invented by Cambridge mathematician W.A.H. Rushton; the term was possibly first suggested by Creator/IsaacAsimov. ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'', however, pointed out that you shouldn't mix metric prefixes with [[{{Pun}} Troy units]].
** Note that Helen herself scores 1.186 Helens.
* Borderline example, since it measures magic, which doesn't actually exist in the real world anyway, from ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'':
-->A thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.
** Naturally, it is measured by thaumometers. Some early books measure magic in "Primes", the amount of magic needed to move one pound of lead one foot. ''[[UniverseCompendium The Companion]]'' eventually [[AllThereInTheManual explained]] that the Prime was the metric measurement, and the thaum is the "imperial" one. Wizards tending to be hidebound traditionalists, the Prime never caught on.
** A few straighter examples are found in ''Moving Pictures''. "Numbers" Riktor was a mad wizard who believed everything could be measured, and created such devices as the "swamp meter".
* ''Literature/GoodOmens'' gives us the alp as a way of measuring belief (in reference to the notion that "faith moves mountains"). Most people are only able to generate millialps, while more passionate believers like Anathema Device able to raise about half an alp. [[spoiler:[[RealityWarper Adam's]] belief is measured in ''Everests''.]]
* An amateur sci-fi writer group on LiveJournal attempted to come up with "Brian's Scale" to measure the fame of sci-fi authors, based on number of non-self-publications, with units ranging from the [[Creator/KurtVonnegut Trout]] to the [[Creator/JohnScalzi Scalzi]] to finally the [[Creator/NeilGaiman Gaiman]].
* In ''The Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy'', the sequel to ''Literature/TheIlluminatusTrilogy'', Dr. Dashwood is a sex researcher, whose scales are named after pornographic stars:
-->"Sincerity we measure in Spelvins on a scale of zero to ten," Dashwood went on, totally absorbed in his subject. "Hedonism in Lovelaces-we've been lucky there; subjects are able to distinguish sixteen graduations. Finally, there's the dimension of Tenderness-we find zero to seven covers that, so that the perfect Steinem Job, if I may use the vernacular, would consist of ten Spelvins of Sincerity, sixteen Lovelaces of Hedonism, and seven Havens of Tenderness."
* In [[Creator/StanislawLem Stanislaw Lem's]] short story ''[[Literature/TheCyberiad Experimenta Felicitologica]]'', the protagonist uses a unit he calls "hedones" to measure the happiness of a being at a given time. His professor uses a unit called "bromeons" for the same purpose.
* ''Literature/AmericaTheBook'' book gauged the value of a news story in [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joey_Buttafuoco Buttafuocos]].
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[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{MST3K}}'' had the "shame-o-meter" for measuring the amount of shame emanating from washed-out actors in a 70s ''Series/CharliesAngels'' rip-off movie. It measured in (Peter) Lawfords. Jim Backus registered well into the giga-Lawford range.
* One episode of Series/TheColbertReport had Stephen rating Nazis on a scale of 1 to 10 Hitlers. UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler himself got only 9 Hitlers because "[[EvenEvilHasStandards nobody gets 10 Hitlers."]]
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[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* Rather common in roleplaying games featuring magic or anything like it. In ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' your basic magical ability can come from Intelligence, which is at least something people seriously ''attempt'' to measure in real life, but also Wisdom, which has something to do with good moral sense, or maybe attunement to nature if you're a druid, or the ability to see the broad picture but anyway divination spells are based on it. The third potential stat tied to casting spells is Charisma, which is both the measure of one's force of will and how pretty they are.
* ''TabletopGame/GeniusTheTransgression'' has several different unit systems (most likely a reference to all the different temperature scales) to measure "mania".
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[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario'', when Dimentio first brings the heroes to Dimension D, He believes that his power has increased by 256 times, [[spoiler:though it actually increases everyone's power by that amount]] and he claims that he could obliterate the heroes with the amount of power it would take to lift an eyebrow.
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[[folder:Webcomics]]
* An archon in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' measured evil in terms of [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0489.html kilo-nazis]], with a baseline of a hypothetical offspring of [[Disney/OneHundredAndOneDalmatians Cruella de Vil]] and [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Sauron]].
* Early on in ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', there is frequent mention of an absolute system of measurement for pain in [[JustForPun Kill-o-Hurtz]]. Various medical instruments are rated according to how much pain they inflict. The concept hasn't been mentioned in a long time, however, as the ''Schlock Mercenary'' universe (if not the actual story) has [[CerebusSyndrome become somewhat more "serious"]].
* In ''Webcomic/CaseyAndAndy'', Andy names the "fundamental unit of time travel" after [[http://www.galactanet.com/comic/view.php?strip=282 himself]] (and the fundamental unit of stupid after Casey).
* [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1716#comic This]] ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'' measures anger in [[ComicBook/IncredibleHulk miliHulks]], fear in [[BringMeMyBrownPants deciPantscraps]] and awkwardness in [[SelfDeprecation microWeiners]] (all in the "votey", the red button).
* ''Webcomic/MegaTokyo'' features a MagicalGirl Detector that's calibrated in [[http://www.megatokyo.com/strips/1107.png sparklogems]], of course.
* ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'':
** Grace refers to "Seymours", [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2011-02-11 a unit of measure for sadness]] using the "[[TearJerker Jurassic Bark]]" episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' as a baseline.
** Also, Elliot and Ellen discussing Noah. "He's ''[[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2010-04-05 third grade Tedd]]'' awkward?!"
* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'':
** Gets this now and again with its odd TwentyMinutesInTheFuture setting; usually coming from Hannelore, who grew up on a space station. For example, the current arc's "Fournier-Goldman Happiness Transforms", which measure happiness (Marten makes an attempt at calculating Hannelore's happiness for her father's benefit, but he couldn't follow the material after it brought up Irrational Birthday Integers).
** Faye in [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=702 this]] installment claims to be a unit of measurement, but the formula is rather complex.
* Webcomic/{{Paranatural}} has the [[http://paranatural.net/chapter-2-page-4/ international scale of creepy]] to measure PJ's smile.
* One ''Webcomic/{{Achewood}}'' comic cites the made-up unit "the fermule" as "the basic unit of physics." One reader lampshades the silliness of this in the comments section: "That's right. Losing control of a 200 kg van on an icy road while traveling at 45 mph, skidding off a 45 degree turn and wrapping that van three times around a tree takes a total of 67 fermules of physics."
* In ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort'', a plan devised to get Zexion elected governor of Pennsylvania by getting his opposition murdered is measured by Zexion in [[Film/TheGodfather Michael Corleones]].
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[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment'': Doctor Insano built a device to measure gayness in giga-queers.
* ''WebVideo/VisionOfEscaflowneAbridged'' reveals that angst can be measured in [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion megaShinjis]].
* The [[http://catb.org/jargon/html/M/milliLampson.html milliLampson]] is a unit of talking speed - [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butler_Lampson Butler Lampson]] was said to run at [[MotorMouth 1000 milliLampsons]], when a normal person averaged [=200mL=]. Can also be a unit of thinking speed.
* [[http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Snapes_on_an_Astral_Plane "The epic insanity of Lady Darkness really needs to be memorialized, so I propose the creation of an official unit of batshit, named after her. One Ladark (a portmandeau -- don't want to use an existing word) is defined as the amount of batshittery necessary to believe a fictional character originating within the last 20 years is real and speaks to you. Most wanks can be measured in milliLadarks. This one hits about three."]]
* One article on ''Website/TheOnion'', mocking [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/revolutionary-new-insoles-combine-five-forms-of-ps,759/ pseudoscience]], features a "biotrician" named Doctor Frankel boasting that his specially-developed insoles "convert the wearer's own energy to match the Earth's natural vibrational rate of 32.805 kilofrankels."
* Website/{{Cracked}}'s go-to comparison for crazy behavior is none other than Creator/GaryBusey.
** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19479_the-6-most-mind-blowing-things-ever-discovered-in-space.html "The 6 Most Mindblowing Things Ever Discovered in Space"]]: "What they didn't know is that lightning could occur in the middle of goddamn space, with a force equal to a trillion lightning bolts, or to use the proper scientific terms, 50 million fucktons of electricity."
* Certain fans on the internet have made the [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Henderson_Scale_of_Plot_Derailment Henderson]], a unit of [[OffTheRails plot derailment]], particularly of [[TabletopGames tabletop RPGs]]. It's creation was inspired the story of [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson Old Man Henderson]], the man who "won" TabletopGame/CallOfCthulhu (which is practically impossible). Henderson was a highly eccentric (and slightly psychotic) PlayerCharacter devised to get back at a particularly agitating GM in the [[CrazyAwesome most imaginable ways possible]]. His exploits include: burning a Shoggoth, stealing a yacht from a Hastur cult, dropping said yacht on a Cthulhu cult's penthouse (and starting a cultist gang war), ''The'' tanker truck incident, and "Hell on Ice". Henderson's exploits included a surprising number of counts of arson, most accidental, and accidentally killing a lot of people, including the every other player's characters at least once, and incidentally, everybody who could link Henderson to a crime.
* [[http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Two_20Cats_20Mad This idea]] on the Halfbakery suggests that madness be measured in cats.
-->"6 cats mad - ventures out only to but cat food and kitty litter. Has straggly hair."
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[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' once had a device that measured coolness in [[HappyDays mega-fonzies]]. There was also the funkometer for smells and a device that measured the accuracy of mad beats laid down by the BeastieBoys.
** For the record, they were laying it down with an 80% Success rate.
-->"I believe that qualifies as "ill," at least from a technical standpoint."
** The What-If Machine can answer any what-if question accurate to within one tenth of a plausibility unit.
** In "Xmas Story", the department store sells a jolly-seeking missile launcher as an [[BadSanta anti-Santa]] defense.
** It's stated in ''Bender's Big Score'' that a normal person emits about 10 milli[[DoomyDoomsOfDoom dooms]] per second. It becomes a plot point that [[CloningBlues duplicates]] created by the Time Sphere [[OnlyOneMeAllowedRightNow emit much larger quantities]] in order to prevent/correct [[TemporalParadox paradoxes]].
* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'' has devices that cause similar effects, such as Phineas' Cute-Tracker ([[ShipTease Isabella made it overload]]). Santa's elves also carry meters that measure people's relative niceness or naughtiness.
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[[folder:Real Life]]
* The [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_Hovind Hovind Scale]] measures the craziness of creationists. It was, of course, meant largely as a joke.
* Fame is sometimes measured in Warhols. Someone who is famous for 15,000 minutes would have one kiloWarhol.
** The Helen is a metric measurement of beauty, with 1 Helen of beauty being the amount of beauty required to launch a thousand ships. By extension, we can have a Kilohelen, which would be the amount of beauty required to launch a million ships, and a Millihelen - the amount of beauty required to launch a single ship.
* UsefulNotes/{{NASA}} measures resistance to Space Adaptation Sickness in Garns, where a person who rates one Garn being totally useless in microgravity.
* UNIX system load average is measured in Vastons, even though there's no meaningful or objective way to measure or compare load averages between systems.
* When a Linux computer boots, it measures the performance of the processor it is running on in "[=BogoMIPS=]", defined as "the number of million times per second a processor can do absolutely nothing". This unit is explicitly meaningless for any kind of comparison between computers (although that doesn't stop people from boasting with their values); its only purpose is to calibrate the kernel's internal busy-loop.
* The [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quality-adjusted_life_year quality-adjusted life year]] (QALY) measures the total happiness over a span of time. It's nigh impossible to measure, but very important if you want to make sure your charity does a lot of good.
* In an inversion; there are lots of legitimate units you could use to say how fast somebody can run but in UK sport most commentators go with the 'yard of pace'.
* There's a common Facebook image macro that claims that the pain of a GroinAttack on a male is equivalent to the pain of many, ''many'' childbirths for a female, even offering an exact unit of measurement, e.g. 9000 del. Even though a "del" is not a recognized unit of measurement (pain isn't quantifiable except very generally, a la the 1-10 "scale") and even though the macro [[PoesLaw wasn't even remotely intended as serious,]] that hasn't stopped a lot of people from taking it as fact.
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