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->''"I implore you. I implore all women everywhere on behalf of all men. Do not take the wrongness of masturbation from us!"''
-->-- '''Steve''', ''Series/{{Coupling}}''

Most people masturbate, although it's not something you'd bring up in polite conversation. However, it's given quite a different treatment in fiction. Unlike NobodyPoops or NoPeriodsPeriod (where the function is simply not mentioned because it would be NauseaFuel), masturbation in fiction often fits into a few different categories:
* It's aimed at or about teenagers (usually PlayedForLaughs) and the character is usually a horny teenage boy, and another character, usually the parents, think that he's masturbating when he is very obviously ([[InnocentInnuendo or sometimes not so obviously]]) ''not''.
* The character masturbating is [[HollywoodDateless sexually frustrated]], disturbed, perverted, or is a [[ThisLoserIsYou nerd/has no social life]]. When SexIsCool and EverybodyHasLotsOfSex, masturbating is portrayed as a shameful last resort for losers who can't get laid. Except for those depicting as doing it as one part of a sexual encounter itself, of course.
* It's a military or a prison setting (or a single-sex boarding school). The masturbation here would be explained by the [[HelloSailor shortage of women]] ([[AmazonBrigade or men]]), boredom and loneliness.
* Artificial insemination due to [[OnlyYouCanRepopulateMyRace lack of partners]], [[AllLesbiansWantKids incompatible sexual orientation]], etc.
* In UsefulNotes/{{porn|ography}} or erotica, it can be used for the sexual titillation of the viewers.

Of course, there's a pretty valid reason why "normal" masturbation isn't depicted very often -- it's actually quite a mundane and meaningless thing (see Administrivia/PeopleSitOnChairs). There aren't many ways that masturbation could advance the plot of a story, and because it's generally a solitary activity, there usually won't be any character interaction involved.

Also note that male masturbation is used far more often than female (except in porn, for the above-mentioned reasons)... though that's not to say that female masturbation isn't given ''any'' attention in fiction (the "Literature/{{Rumpelstiltskin}}" tale supposedly had the [[ValuesDissonance original message]], "women who masturbate become infertile"). In older media, expect references to hairy palms and/or blindness, two widespread myths used to keep boys from masturbating.

!!List of masturbation tropes:

* BreakingInOldHabits - A character receives a replacement hand and immediately uses it to masturbate.
* CaughtWithYourPantsDown - A character is caught masturbating.
* IllBeInMyBunk - A character who steps off-stage is humorously portrayed as leaving to masturbate.
* JizzedInMyPants - Yeah, self explanatory.
* ManIFeelLikeAWoman - After a [[GenderBender man transforms into a woman]], the first thing he does is test his new "equipment".
* MistakenForMasturbating - Characters think someone is masturbating when they actually aren't.
* PoorMansPorn - A character gets off to something not strictly intended to be used for that purpose.
* PornStash - A character has a personal collection of pornography, and can usually be assumed to use it as an aid to masturbation.
* SelfAbuse - Masturbation is portrayed as bad for you.

[-''(Opening door)'' [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown Oops! Sorry!]] When you said you were going on the computer for a while, I just assumed you'd be on Wiki/TVTropes!-]