->''Would you be so kind as to submit to an interview if the alternative was being shot?''

''Vatsy and Bruno'', written by Adam "Rutskarn" [=DeCamp=] and hosted on the website Chocolate Hammer, is a dark humor web series whose first episode, First Ink, has recently reached completion. Each episode is to be written in serial format, with each weekly post being about three pages of text.

The eponymous characters, Vatsy and Bruno, are a pair of vaguely human animal-like creatures. Vatsy, a gaunt and emaciated feline, is a high-strung unscrupulous journalist to whom sanity, sense, and soap are things that happen to other people. Bruno, his loyal bodyguard/henchman/errand guy, is a chimp with an easygoing personality, a bone-deep stoicism, and a large-bore sawn-off shotgun. Together, they fight crime--er, search for the perfect news story.

''Vatsy and Bruno'' is somewhat twisted, fairly dark, and ever-so-slightly absurd. Much of the humor comes from the off-kilter nature of the heroes, the strange happenings in their environment, and the constant deconstructions of tropes and stock characters in media.

''Vatsy and Bruno'', as well as a full-size version of the current cover, can be found [[http://www.chocolatehammer.org/?page_id=2674 here.]]
!!This work of fiction provides examples of:
* BadassLongcoat: Parodied by Trenchcoat, a monologuing one-man army who refuses to do anything in a non-hardboiled fashion.
* ButtMonkey: Both of the title characters get repeatedly chewed up, spit out, and trampled on by the world at large.
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: Or chimpanzees, as the case may be.
* ForgetfulJones: past a certain point, Vatsy really doesn't remember much. Definitely is ''not'' played for comedy. It's not really clear ''why'' Vatsy is like this, either.
* ForScience: One of CESA's motivations.
* HeroicBSOD: Vatsy goes catatonic after being rejected from The Writer's Guild again.
* LivingEmotionalCrutch: Bruno to Vatsy, to a huge extent. If Bruno isn't around, Vatsy becomes even ''more'' scatterbrained, to the point where he can barely function. Even when he's being held prisoner, clearly to be killed soon, Vatsy just barely grasps that ''something is wrong''.
* MadScientist: Everyone who works for CESA. Of note are the first scientist Vatsy and Bruno encounter, who looks eerily like [[VideoGame/HalfLife Dr. Kleiner]] and the one they later rescue.
* MadScientistLaboratory: CESA's underground headquarters.
* MysteriousPast: Bruno and Vatsy both--Vatsy because he doesn't seem to remember much about it, and Bruno because he refuses to talk about it.
* PhotographicMemory: Bruno, making the lists Vatsy occasionally writes for him utterly unnecessary, which is helpful because he can't read anyway.
* PurpleProse: Committed by Vatsy, whose letters "stink of hideous purple prose [and] will forever saturate [The Writer's Guild's] desk space."
* SawedOffShotgun: Wielded by Bruno. Justified in that Bruno is pretty damn strong.
* ShoutOut: To ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'', ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'' and ''Anti-Heroes''
* TalkingAnimal: Both Vatsy and Bruno.