->''After twenty years of these two-hour battles I get the feeling that there must be more to life, you know.''
'''The Private Life of Genghis Khan''' is a short story by Creator/DouglasAdams, based partially on a sketch planned for [[Creator/MontyPython Graham Chapman's]] SketchShow, ''Out of the Trees''. It features the famed Mongolian conqueror as a blood-thirsty warlord by day, paranoid neurotic by night, fussing endlessly over an absurd and arbitrary schedule, wondering whether he's put on too much weight, and coercing the wives of murdered enemies into asking him about his day (instead of the expected sexual favors). All of this comes as a big headache to his son, Ogdai, who wants nothing more than to just get on with it and conquer the Earth already. Alas, his father's emotional issues and constant bouts of melancholy make this an unlikely prospect.
The end features a [[TheCameo very special guest appearance]] from a character Adams fans may recognize.
* TheCameo - At the end, Khan receives a visit from [[spoiler:Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged (of ''Literature/LifeTheUniverseAndEverything'' fame)]] to unsurprising effect.
* KickTheDog - ...into the fireplace.
* NoExportForYou: Copyright entanglements result in it not appearing in some editions of ''Literature/TheSalmonOfDoubt'', primarily American prints.
* OnlySaneMan: Ogdai.